Archive of Our Own

I watched as the tall, thin trees whizzed past my view. I look over at Matthew, who was focusing on the road. I sigh, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. I didn't even know I was asleep until I was woken up.

"Wake up...we are here!" Matthew smiles.

I groan slightly as I slowly open my eyes.

"Hng...here..?"

"Yeah".

I flush slightly as I suddenly realize how close Matthew's face is to mine. I advert my eyes and smile nervously. Slowly sitting up so he gets the message to back up so I can get out. As soon as he moves back I unbuckle my seatbelt and start to get out.

As I feel my feet touch the ground I look up at Matthew. He hesitantly grabs my hand before leading me down a long dirt path. I feel my cheeks slightly heat up at his touch, but try to get it off my mind by looking at the scenery around us.

'It's absolutely gorgeous

I watch as the trees and bushes slowly disappear from my view as I walk. The bird's singing a song while flying overhead. I'm in awe of how beautiful nature is. Everything was so calm and peaceful here.
"Canada is absolutely beautiful," I say while being in awe over the view. I continue to look at the scenery, but look over at Matthew when he stopped for a moment, tightening his grip. Whipping his head back to face me, eyes shining in disbelief, face heating up immensely. He then shakes his head, now looking forward he continues walking.

'What was up with that reaction?'

I shake my head and start to focus back on the scenery.

'I am not going to let my paranoid self get the best of me.'

A few snowflakes had started to fall, but it soon became a heavier snowfall. I love snow, but it proves to be a bit difficult to walk in. I would drop right here and play with the snow seeing that it had started to pile up on the floor, but I would rather not look like an idiot. So, I squeezed Matthew's hand and tried to keep up.

I can't help but occasionally glance over at Matthew. We have caught each other staring a few times, but we just go back to making our way to his cabin. At some point, I had zoned out because when I looked back up, Matthew was leading me to the front door.

"Sorry, but it is kind of old-fashioned" Matthew nervously smiled, unlocking the cabin with a key. When we walked inside, I couldn't help but gawk at the beauty of the cabin. When Matthew turned on the lights it was illuminated with a nice yellow hue and it just seemed so spacious. I feel my heart speed up a bit when I smell Matthew's scent, mixed with wood and pine, it overtook my senses and I loved it.

"You can look or I could show you around...only if you want"

Matthew smiled, eyes shut and his hands up in front of him. I'm just assuming so he doesn't look intimidating or something.

'He isn't really scary or anything, he is honestly really cute!'

I feel my cheeks heat up slightly and I grin, "Don't worry about me! I can handle myself so you go do what you want to." I could have sworn that I saw a hint of disappointment in his eyes, but it's just chubby old me so I don't see any reason to be disappointed that I want to look around myself. Besides, I don't want to be a burden.
"Then I'll go start some dinner," Matthew muttered, obviously heading to the kitchen.

I start just walking around, room to room. I drag my hand across the wall, feeling the small bumps from the aged wood. The place was absolutely beautiful. I had started in the living room, but I had walked to the right which leads to a small hallway. I walk into the room straight across from me. It was an old-looking bathroom, the shower straight ahead, and, against the wall, a sink with a mirror right above it. Wedged between the shower and sink counter were a toilet and a small trash can. I step out, closing the door. I walk to my left, from the bathroom's perspective. I open the door and I'm met again with a quick whiff of Matthew's scent.

'This is his room!'

I feel my heart flutter as I walk around his room. Unfortunately, I probably should get out of here since it's an invasion of privacy, but I just want to lay in here. It's so soothing and as cliche sounding it is, I'm getting a little tired. I decide to leave his room before I do something irrational, like sleeping in his bed. The last thing I need is for me to embarrass myself like that.

I walk out of his room and slowly close the door behind me, making sure to be quiet. I make my way over to the living room and turn on the tv, plopping myself down on the couch.

"There is expected to be a blizzard affecting parts of Canada, mostly Quebec so please stay safe."

"Yo Matthew!" I yell from the couch, watching as he reappears, giving me a questioning glance.

"What?"

"There is going to be a blizzard," I say, worry written all over my face.

'If this kills me then I guess it's just my time to go.''

"I thought so. The snowfall seemed to be getting heavier...are you alright?", he puts a hand on my shoulder and gives it an awkward rub. Matthew laughed lightly, grabbing the remote off of the spot next to me, and changed the channel. I think he may be trying to get my mind off of it.

'He is so caring'

"I'm glad you are handling this so well because last time Al kinda freaked out on me."

"Pfft- yeah Alfred is a handful or five, though I still love the man" I laugh.

"L-love?!" Matthew stutters, whipping his head to face me.

"Not like that," I laugh, lightly punching him on the shoulder, though he lets out a small 'ow'.

"You both are pretty strong though..."

"Why thank you!" I smile.

Matthew's eyes light up as he hears a timer going off. He smiled and motions me to follow him; "dinner is ready!"
I walk into the kitchen and sit myself down at the bar. Whatever he made smelled absolutely delicious! I watched as he brought out my favorite dish.

"Ah yeah! My favorite! Mattie you the best!" I exclaim, letting America's nickname for the Canadian slip out.

"Y-yeah, Al said that was your favorite." Matthew blushed, quickly stuffing more food into his mouth.

I chuckle, but before I ate, I pointed my utensil at Matthew, staring deep into his eyes.

"He was damn right about it being my favorite." I grin, finally taking a bite. Matthew's eyes widen a bit, but he sighs, a small smile taking over his features.

"You making it taste so good..." I mumbled, passive-aggressively chewing on my dinner. We continued to eat, not much talking between the two of us. It wasn't an awkward silence, but rather a peaceful one. The atmosphere was very light and joyful so the power decided to be an ass and go out.

I let out a squeak and Matthew looks at me in surprise. I feel my face flush from the staring and the fact I made such a noise. Matthew gets up and motions for me to stay put. I then try to focus on something else so I didn't go crazy. I don't want to say I'm scared of the dark, but the thought of something getting me in the dark horrifies me.

"Listen I don't mean any of the crap I said about you, ghosts...I love you." I whisper shakily, nervously glancing around. Then, I hear a noise, a small rustle, but it sends a huge shiver down my spine.

I feel my eyes widen and I look around, trying to spot Matthew, but he didn't hasn't come back yet. I quickly get up, my palms sweating a bit. I slowly walk into the next room, the only source of light being the sun, which was starting to set. I hear another small clutter and my head snaps in the direction of the sound.

"M-Matthew..?" I stuttered, which didn't help conceal the fact I was scared. I opened the door from where the noise was coming from and saw a figure. I tapped it and it spun around quickly a scream erupting in the silence; "GaAh!"

"AHH-" I slap a hand over my mouth, and close my eyes, eyebrows raised. I take a deep breath and then I open my eyes, letting my hand drop.

'It's obviously Matthew there is no freaking ghost, demon, or some blood-sucking monster!'

"Sorry...I didn't mean to scare you. Also, sorry for not staying in the dining room. Don't get me wrong though! I wasn't scared! I was just...worried about you...?" I smile, though my brows made it look like I was supposed to be frowning.

"Ah, it's fine, but I do have bad news and good news."

I shift nervously in my place, Matthew takes a deep breath and starts; "the fuse blew, most likely since I haven't used it in a long time, but we can't leave because the snow has piled up out front already. Even if we could get out we would get caught in the blizzard that is approaching."

I pause for a moment, giving myself a moment to think, "So what
you're saying is that we are snowed in with no heat or electricity."

"Yeah.."

"So that explains why it's starting to get a bit chilly huh." I laugh,
looking down at my feet.

"Yeah, it's also bad that I had just put in a lot of the blankets into the washer since they haven't been used in forever so they're all wet and cold.

"Wait..so how are we supposed to stay warm?" I ask.

"I got some firewood we can put in the fireplace."

"And, I guess you got me! My friend said I'm always really warm and I'm also touch-deprived so it all works out." I grin, facing up at Matthew. He looked surprised and his cheeks were a slight pink.

"O-okay then...I'll keep that in mind." He nervously grinned before
speaking up again.

"Anyway, the good news is that the backup generator should kick in soon, though I'm not sure when since it's been a while most likely
while we are sleeping."

We both just stand there for a moment, seemingly waiting for the other to speak. I look down, rubbing my feet into the ground. I open my mouth but close it because I don't really know what to do in this situation. Matthew shakes his head a bit then tells me to go get any blankets I can. He leaves the room and I watch as he walks away. After a quick glance at his firm backside, I set off to do what he asked.

I huff, dropping the small pile of usable blankets on the couch by the fire, courtesy of my Candian friend.

"I was only able to find..three, though, One of them is a big fluffy one!" I laugh, looking over at Matthew for approval. He gives me a small smile, but it quickly turns into a frown; "I'm sorry that our trip here was ruined.."

My eyes widen in alarm. I didn't like it at all when he was so hard on himself. Besides, if it's anything's fault it should be the damn
blizzard!

"Matthew, no! The trip isn't ruined!"

"But-"

"Listen, I came here to spend time with you, and I am, so I don't think it's ruined at all." I console.

We stare at each other, standing there in peaceful silence. My gaze slowly drifts down and I'm looking at his lips. So soft and smooth and how I wanted to get just a small taste. I hear a voice in my head telling me to stop thinking of things like that, and I listen.

"How about we hit the hay?" I suggest

Matthew jolts a bit and starts rapidly shaking his head. "Yes, yes! Let's.." He adds in awkwardly.

I follow him into his living room and watched as he moved the pile of blankets out of the way, taking a small one and tossing it to me. I wrap it around my shoulders and shudder, sinking into the couch.
"I'm not used to the cold at all.." I grumble, taking back all the times I said I've like the cold.

Matthew let out a light laugh sitting down on the couch next to me.
"I could tell".

I nod, wishing I had a bit more cold resistance, like Matthew. This guy is like a tank of steel! I let out an unsteady huff, my teeth slightly chattering, and despite the fire in front of us, I'm still a bit cold. Matthew looked at me with concern and, I watch as he opens and closes his mouth a couple of times before finally speaking up.

"Want to..cuddle?" He asks, fiddling with his fingers.
I rapidly nod, and I watch as Matthew pulls up the giant blanket we were sharing. I feel my cheeks heat up a bit as Matthew hesitantly wrapped his arm around me, pulling me in a bit closer. I hear him gasp and I quickly look at him.

"You are very warm!" He effused.

My face heats up even more and I just give a slight nod. My heart speeds up as I cautiously lower my head onto his shoulder. I feel him go stiff at the small action. "..I'm going to try and sleep," I whisper, turning my head up to face him, Matthew looking down at me. We lock eyes, faces mere inches apart. If I really wanted to I could-

"Alright..night." He nods, turning back to face the fire. My gaze lingers on him for a few seconds longer but stops once he glances back at me. I quickly look away, hoping he couldn't hear my fastening heartbeat. I close my eyes, waiting for sleep to engulf me, and, after a while, it does.

I yawn, stretching and accidentally hitting some things. I hear a groan and I whip my head to the side and see Matthew. Caught off-guard I stand up, maybe a little too fast. I'm suddenly falling forward and I land on the floor with a thud.

"Ow.." I whine, sitting up and turning myself around.

'Ah, hope his floor didn't break because of me'

I groan, blinking to get rid of my hazy vision. When my eyes refocus I see Matthew on top of me, staring down at me with a mix of concern and surprise. My chest was steadying itself and I watched as his eyes flicked down to my..lips. His face heated up immensely. He stood up so fast my mind could barely process it. He nervously held out a hand to me, muttering out a quick apology. I thought about just getting up by myself because of my weight, but I take his hands and try to lift myself with my legs as much as possible.

"Let's just forget everything that has happened so far and get some breakfast." I laugh awkwardly, trying to rid of the silence between us.

"Alright then...you want some pancakes?" Matthew questions.
I nod and head back towards the fire, my feet were freezing and with my walking heater going off to make us breakfast, I have no source of heat. I walk back into the living room, grabbing the blanket I dropped on the floor, and headed over to the fire. I sat myself down and just stared at it, listening to the cracks it made, watching the beautiful ember burn a faint orange.

I didn't realize how much time had passed until I heard my name being called from the kitchen. I got up, reluctantly leaving the blankets in the living room. I quickly tread over to the kitchen, my nose being welcomed with the pleasant smells of food. I gasp at the large stack of pancakes and quickly set myself down.

"Eat up, I don't want you to be hungry." Matthew smiled, pushing a large plate of pancakes over to me. My eyes widen in awe and right as I was about to dig in I compared our plates. He had given himself two but I got five. I stop for a moment and Matthew does the same, giving me a look of confusion.

"Is it not enough, or do you want something to-"

Matthew let out a noise of confusion as I plopped down two of my pancakes on his plate.

"You need to eat up to haha!"

The Canadian's cheeks heated up just a tad and gave me another one of his beautiful smiles. We sat there in silence, though, this time, it was a peaceful one. I heard his pancakes were good but god damn these were everything! Even then though, I tried to not 'pig out' and eat at a slower pace than normal. I ignored the Canadian's stares and continued to eat.

"I can wash the dishes!" I exclaim, quickly taking our empty plates before he could refuse. I headed over to the sink and turn the water on.

"You don't have to-"

"No, it's perfectly fine! You cook, I clean!" I grin, feeling the water to see if it's hot enough. I glance back at Matthew and watch as his eyes move up towards my eyes, meaning he was looking at my-

'Oh'

I blink, looking back at the now warm water filling up the dishes. I scrub the bowl thinking for a moment, ignoring Matthew guiltily adding in another plate.

'He couldn't be checking me out..could he?'

I chuckle to myself.

'Absolutely not'

I let my head flop over onto Matthew's shoulder, and I can feel the vibrations as he lets out a small laugh. We were watching some show on the tv that I can't remember the name of. At least he seemed to find it entertaining, but my thoughts were occupied with something else.

'The fact I'm so close to him yet again.'

Suddenly the tv turns off and I lift my head up, turning it to look at his. I give him a question glance and he slightly shifts, putting one leg onto the couch. He takes a deep breath before starting. "Listen...I just wanted to tell you that..."

We awkwardly stare at each other and I roll my hand, motioning for him to go on.

"And..I- have to do the laundry!" He laughs, standing up and swiftly making his way out of the room. I raise a brow and watch as the last of him disappears into the other room. If I didn't look like a complete and utter mess, I would assume that was going to be a confession.

'Nah that is too cliche for real life'

I get up and follow him, seeing as he actually went to get the laundry. I met as well help the poor guy out with all of that. I sniff, cursing my runny nose.

'I swear...it's more active than me'

I turn the corner and see him bending over into the dryer, I admire his butt before speaking up, "Came to help."

I wince as he hits his head on the dryer, letting out a small curse and carefully bringing his head out. He was blushing like a madman and I was actually getting a bit concerned.

"Are you okay..?" I question slowly.

He looked like a complete mess, glancing around, opening and closing his mouth, just in a complete state of panic.

"I love you!" He shouts, awkwardly fiddling with his fingers. I blink a few times and slowly lean back. I stare at the floor, my mind running faster than I ever could.

'Is this a sick joke...but it's Matthew..wha......'

I look up and I see him staring down at me. I walk up to him and before I can change my mind I place a light kiss on his lips. I immediately look away in regret, thinking I'm doing too much. He blinks, then smiles, taking one of his hands and bringing it to my chin, turning my face towards his. We lock eyes, but I watch as he slowly brings his face towards my own, closing his eyes, and, I do the same, locking ourselves into a deep passionate kiss. I grabbed hold of his neck, bringing his face closer to mine. I just go along with him, setting in a nice rhythm. My lungs start to burn a bit and my body is screaming for air so I reluctantly break apart, panting and out of breath.

"For a while now..I've been wanting to do that," Matthew admits, taking breaths in between his words.

I look up at him in disbelief. The feeling of being wanted is so unfamiliar to me, I almost didn't think it was possible. I just assumed that because I'm bigger and I don't fit today's beauty standards that I don't deserve love, or that I'm fine being the last pick. I didn't realize how much I wanted to be wanted by someone, especially someone I might be in love with. That's another thing that is strange, love, it's such a foreign feeling since I deluded myself into thinking I don't need it.

I feel my eyes start to water and before I could do anything I started to cry. Matthew's eyes immediately widened in worry, and he started wiping the tears from my eyes. "I'm sorry! I'm not sure if it's something I said or did-"

"No! I just...I don't.." I sob, trying to regather my thoughts. I take a deep breath and looked into his beautiful amethyst eyes, gingerly touching his cheek and running my fingers along his cheek. I stop and slightly frown, eyes once again watering, "I don't deserve you".
Matthew shakes his head, pulling me into a hug, and starts rubbing my back.

"Why would you ever think that?" He frowns.
I start sobbing harder, tightly hugging him back. I hear him let out a small noise, so I loosen my grip a bit.
"Because I'm not as skinny and pretty as everyone else! God, I must be an eyesore for you to look at. I'm so sorry that I love you-"
Matthew pushed me back a bit and gripped my shoulders, he looked me straight in the eyes and furrowed his brows.

"Don't ever apologize for your feelings. They are completely valid and, you deserve so much. Your weight does not determine your worth! I have no idea why you would ever think you deserve anything less than the best." He frowns, tears pecking at the side of his eyes.

He pulls me back into a hug, this time it was more gentle, assuring, and protective.

"Even if you are bigger, why would that mean you aren't beautiful. You are absolutely perfect."

I giggle, wiping away the tears from my eyes.

"I'll trust you, only because it's you telling me," I say quietly, squeezing Matthew a bit tighter.

I slowly break away so I could leave another kiss on top of his lips.

"I love you so much" Matthew hummed.

"I love you too."