Chapter Text
10:35:14
10:35:18
10:35:24
You watch time tick away by the seconds, a force of habit that you simply can’t get rid of. You were getting antsy. The party was still in full-swing, people with too much money flaunting it in flashy gowns and suits, unknown faces hidden beneath elaborate masks. The masquerade theme was a tacky choice, but since it’s working in your favor, you almost wish you could thank the host for their poor taste.
It’s easy to keep your identity hidden behind a cheap mask that's decorated with too many feathers. The problem wasn’t with anyone around you seeing your face, because truthfully, you could care less if any of these old, rich people happened to catch a glimpse. You only cared about the possibility of one particular person recognizing you.
Your eyes scan the crowd of bodies slightly swaying to the soft tunes, hoping to find him before he found you.
The minutes continued to tick by painfully slow. You began thinking that maybe you were wrong, that maybe he wasn’t here. Irritation pricks at your skin like a needle. If you stayed at this party surrounded by old, rich people swaying stiffly to soft piano music, only for him not to even be here, you’d be unbelievably upset.
It smelled of expensive colognes and perfumes, the scents filling your nose and giving you a headache. You wanted out of this place, but you couldn’t go yet. Not until that man made his presence known, which you were hoping to be soon, unless you were somehow mistaken.
The urge to kill was heavy, a plethora of small knives strapped across your body, hidden underneath the dress that was hugging your body. It was all out of sight to everyone around you. You fit in with the crowd well, played the part of an innocent bystander, when really you were here with the sole purpose of ending someone’s life tonight.
A set of loud screams erupt from somewhere to your left, the noise jarring, sending all eyes in the room in that direction. The crowd parted, pushing away from something like scattering spiders.
He’s here.
You smile beneath your mask. This is the most excited you’ve been since you stepped foot in this dreary party. If he hadn’t shown, you think you might’ve just thrown a knife at someone’s neck out of pure boredom. Now the real fun could start.
You carelessly set the flute of champagne you were holding down on a table, now focused on getting closer to whatever everyone else was moving away from.
When you are finally close enough to see, it’s immediately obvious to you who was responsible. A man lays on his back, empty eyes staring soullessly at the grand chandelier sparkling from directly above. His throat had been slit, the blood pouring from the wound and dripping to the tiled floors below him.
There’s confusion everywhere, voices shouting for help, ordering others to call the police and security, things escalating quickly and steadily approaching full blown chaos.
You whip your head around in each direction, squinting into the crowd of frenzied bodies attempting to distance themselves from the body and the scene entirely. People are roughly bumping into you and it’s only making you more irritated. Your eyes lock on something then, or rather someone, who is calmly leaving the scene and going straight for one of the back exits.
It’s not a question in your mind. You know who it is. You could recognize the familiar figure anywhere.
You follow the departing man from a safe distance, the black dress clinging to your body flowing gently behind you, a shadow of death parting through the crowd of oblivious people. He never looks back either, walks straight out the door without being stopped.
A few seconds later and you’re exiting out the same door. It's a chilly night, the wind moving through your hair and making goosebumps break out across your bare arms. You’d like to blame the cool, night air for the goosebumps, but when you round a corner that leads to a darkened alleyway, you begin to think it might be for another reason.
You squint into the alleyway devoid of any people. You can’t even see the familiar figure you were following all this time, the man seemingly disappearing into thin air.
And maybe this should be enough of a warning for you to turn and leave. Any normal person would likely leave as quickly as they could, nobody in their sane mind willing to creep down a dark alley in pursuit of a killer. Nobody but you apparently, as you begin to walk down the alley against your better judgement.
The gravel crunches underneath your heels with each step, your attempts to be completely quiet nearly impossible because of the gravel. The sound of people have long faded in the background. Nobody has any reason to be lurking in the back of buildings, in dark alleyways, unless they’re up to no good.
Your senses are all heightened, the drip of water falling from somewhere, the sounds of distant cars driving on the main road, the sound of gravel crunching to your left.
It’s hardly audible, you nearly missed it, but you know what you heard. Your head whips in the direction, a moment too late, a manic smile the last thing you’re able to catch a glimpse of before a leg is kicking, ploughing into your side roughly and sending you flying back. It’s strong enough to send you tumbling to the ground, the small rocks digging into all your exposed skin and making you wince.
You push yourself up from the ground, the scrapes against your arms nothing compared to the damage that could be inflicted to your body if you don’t hurry and focus. You lift your head, eyes glaring fiercely at the figure looming directly over you.
Fushiguro Toji.
The man you had came to the party looking for. The man you have been trying to kill for years. The man who has been trying to kill you for years. He’s like a dark entity, moves with the shadows like one himself, lethal by nature. You don’t know how many people’s deaths he’s responsible for, but you know it’s a lot. You’re no better in that case, the blood of many are on your hands too, but the blood you really want to spill is his.
“It’s you again,” he mutters, boredom seeping into his voice.
You narrow your eyes, the deep, almost raspy voice one you’ve heard enough times for it to be seared into your brain.
“Fushiguro,” you spit his name like it’s poison, the glare you fix him with never wavering.
You can see the glint of metal despite how dark it is, the jagged blade in his hands one that could tear through skin with no problem. You’re itching to hurt him, but you wait. With your current position, it would be far too easy for him to be on you, blade slicing through the sensitive flesh on your neck before you could even fight back.
His head is tilted when he regards you, the sharp smile still twisting his features, and you can tell he’s enjoying this. “You followed me down an empty alleyway all alone. I don’t know if you’re brave or stupid.”
You attempt a short, lighthearted laugh, the noise sounding more like a bitter scoff instead. You don’t want him to see any weaknesses. “You’re nothing I couldn’t handle.”
“Did you not see the mess I just made in there? I could have you dead just as fast as that man.”
He takes a step closer, his eyes covered by black strands of hair falling into his face. You watch his every move carefully. You may be dumb, but you weren’t dumb enough to let your guard down around the only person who could actually succeed in killing you.
“I suppose so,” you mutter without much thought.
Before he can take another step, before you can push your luck and see how merciful Toji might be on this particular night, your thin fingers slip up your dress, grabbing a small knife from its sheath on your thigh and hurling it in his direction.
He barely manages to dodge it and stumbles back, giving you just enough time to stand on your own two feet again. When Toji’s eyes focus on you again, they’re blazing intensely. You could recognize that look in his eyes anywhere.
Bloodlust.
The fight seems to officially ensue then, the two of you rushing forward at the same time.
Your eyes glitter, the adrenaline soaring under your skin, your heart beating against your rib cage - it’s all so addicting. You can’t get this feeling anywhere else. Nothing else matters at the moment but the knives that almost feel heavy in your hands and Toji in front of you.
It’s a fatal waltz. You are both equally matched, all the knives that you throw being skillfully dodged by the man. He swings his blade so fast that you can’t see it, but you can feel the air from it mere inches away from your face. He almost got you with that one. You know it and so does he, his eyes shining wickedly, the grin on his face sharp.
You are still alive though. Each close call, each dance with death, makes you feel the most alive you ever have. And you want to stay alive, want to see the life drain from Toji’s body from your hands. You know Toji must be thinking the same exact thing.
He continues with his fierce attacks, blade swinging wildly. You duck to the right to avoid his blade from nearly slicing straight at your neck.
It doesn’t deter you though.
You hurl another knife in his direction, aiming directly for his eye. He cranes his neck away with a low grunt, fresh blood spilling from where the knife cut his cheekbone instead. You take advantage of the small distraction, rush at Toji with a knife held tightly in your hands, ready to shove it straight between his ribs.
The excitement that prickles at your skin is tantalizing, you can almost taste the victory, ready to hear the sound of pain pulled from Toji.
It never comes.
Toji sidesteps your attack, his own blade swinging down from above his head. The blade hits your arm, a sharp pain shooting up your ankle from your sudden (failed) attempt to avoid being cut. Toji is animalistic, shows no mercy with his attacks. His fist swings, connects with your jaw before you can fully dodge it. The pain makes you stumble backwards with a surprised cry.
You can feel the warmth of blood trailing down your arm, the metallic taste lingering on your lips as well. You spit the blood gathering in your mouth to the gravel, your chest heaving from exertion. You recover smoothly after a moment, straightening to your full height.
Toji runs a hand through his hair, pushing sweaty locks off of his forehead and allowing you to fully see the wild look in his eyes.
“You took that surprisingly well,” Toji smiles but it never reaches his eyes, it’s more like a predator baring its sharp teeth, “Do you want me to praise you?”
“Fuck you,” you punctuate your words with another sharp knife thrown in his direction.
The fighting begins all over again, only ten times more intense this time. You are tired, your breaths falling harshly from your mouth, and Toji must be too, sweat glistening on his forehead, his eyebrows a tight frown of concentration.
You still manage to move just as quickly, not willing to let the exhaustion weigh you down completely to the point you basically surrender yourself to the man. You didn’t want to lose to him, you couldn’t lose to him. You pour everything into the fight, throw knives at him at a rapid speed, carefully dodging any punches Toji tried to hit you with. He was strong. If he were to get a solid hit, it would disorient you enough that he could likely slit your throat then and there if he wanted.
Your eyes are alight with fury, the tips of your fingers tingling with adrenaline. When you reach for another throwing knife and feel nothing, you know you’ve completely ran out. You curse under your breath, the cruel, satisfied grin on Toji’s face showing he was entirely aware that you were out of knives.
You pull out your dagger instead, holding it so tight that your knuckles turn white. Close combat with Toji is not something you wanted to do. Physically, he’s stronger than you, way bigger than you, could easily overpower you in an instant.
Toji takes advantage of the moment. You are aware that he’s purposefully backing you into a corner, like a cat finally closing in on its prey. You know there's a wall behind you, so you act like the cornered animal you felt like, go straight for his throat.
Toji knows you too well and has fought you enough times to predict your movements. He must’ve seen the split second of hesitation on your face, ducks at the last second to avoid your dagger from hitting its target.
He’s closing in on you again, a hand locking tightly around your wrist just as you prepared to ram the dagger straight into his shoulder. The fighting seems pointless, his grip unrelenting and so tight on your wrist it hurts, but giving up means dying and you weren’t willing to accept that either.
You struggle against his hold, kicking and flailing and doing whatever you can to make him release you. Your foot manages to connect with his knee, enough to make him falter and have him drop his own blade, but you aren’t given any time to savor the small victory.
He growls under his breath, pins you against the solid brick wall in the next moment. The breath escapes from your lungs in a quick exhale, eyes narrowed on Toji’s with an unwavering amount of visceral hate.
“Drop it,” Toji commands through clenched teeth, his shoulders taut, eyes glaring into your own.
Some sort of silent staring contest begins. Toji has you right where he wants you, but you aren’t ready to relent yet. You don’t want to give the man the satisfaction of winning.
His other free hand wraps around your thin neck. Your breath hitches and it’s audible. He can probably feel the deep bob of your throat when you swallowed too. His hands are steady, confident, don’t shake or waver at all. The hands of a killer, trained to never hesitate, trained to take people’s lives in quick, efficient ways. He could choke you out here, could probably snap your neck with no problem.
It’s truly a deadlock.
He has you in a vulnerable position. The fingers wrapped around your throat squeeze the slightest amount, a threat and a warning. You let the dagger slip from between your fingers, hear it clatter to the ground.
The smug smirk on Toji’s face pisses you off. You’d give anything to wipe that dumb look off his face. But with both of your hands now being pinned above your head and Toji’s body pressed firmly against yours, there’s nothing you can do about it.
The first thing Toji does is tug off the flimsy masquerade mask you had managed to keep on during the whole exchange thus far. He tosses it to the side without another thought. From this close, you can really see his face. There's a scar on the corner of his mouth, tired eyes glinting with something malignant. It’s just heavy breaths and pants for a moment, Toji’s sharp eyes traveling across your face.
The atmosphere shifts like it typically does at this point. Once someone has clearly won or there was a deadlock, the tension that seeps off their bodies becomes too tantalizing, leaving you to burn it off in a different way.
A finger trails across your bottom lip, directly over the split which has slowed its bleeding. ”You have such a pretty face, Y/N. It’s a shame you made me ruin it.”
Your eyebrow twitches as you state dryly, “Aren’t you a sweet talker.”
Toji’s eyes trail down your face, linger on your lips, and when your tongue instinctively darts out to wet your bottom lip, the smirk that tugs at the corners of Toji’s lips has a chill shooting down your spine. Even if Toji is your enemy, you have eyes, and you can admit when someone is attractive.
Toji is attractive as sin and it only pisses you off. He’s feral, dangerous, the predatory look shining in his eyes softening, but still just as intense. You feel like you can’t breathe under his stare, the hand that’s wrapped around your throat not helping any. As if he can see your thoughts, his hand tightens the smallest amount, has your breath hitching in your throat. Your eyes widen for a moment before settling into a firm glare.
“Beg and I might just let you go,” he taunts slowly, but his tone is enough to let you know he’s serious.
Another sort of staring contest ensues. The hand resting at the base of your neck squeezes for a brief moment, has your heart stuttering in your chest. It’s supposed to be a reminder that he’s in control right now, but the thrill that comes with the danger is irresistible.
As an assassin, nothing particularly entertains you anymore. Killing is your job. You’ve killed many faceless people before. Toji is supposed to be another number added to that list, but nobody has ever left such an imprint on you like he has. Since the moment you first met him, something was different.
Each encounter with him makes your heart pound, fills you with a childlike excitement that you had forgotten entirely what it felt like. It was a high that only Toji could give you. Maybe it was because he was just as skilled as you were, maybe even a little more. He was a challenge, one that you wanted to keep trying to overcome.
That’s the exact reason why you swiftly bring your knee up, landing a harsh kick to his lower abdomen. It’s hard enough that it catches Toji off guard, and has him clutching his stomach with a low hiss. You take advantage of the brief moment of weakness and push the man off of you entirely.
His glare is deadly, words pressed out through clenched teeth, “I’m going to kill you for that.”
“Empty promises,” you murmur dismissively with a wicked grin.
You just want to chase the familiar thrill that makes you feel like you’re on fire. You’re dancing along a very thin line, teasing the man simply because his reaction satisfies you. You were playing with your own fate, chasing the dangerous adrenaline rush that came with the threat of death like a madman.
You make sure to grab both discarded blades, yours and his, before taking off down the alleyway. You can hear the gravel crunching behind you, but you don’t dare glance back, scared to see the man closer to you than you expected. The alley leads to a dead end, your eyes desperately scanning your surroundings.
There is a fire escape right above you. You don’t waste time to even think, jumping for the ladder that was a little ways above your head. Before you can start climbing, a hand is wrapping around your ankle tightly, your heart lurching in your chest as gravity was working against you to pull you back down.
You kick your leg wildly in an attempt to be freed. You can already feel the blisters forming on the palms of your hands from how tightly you grip the metal bars. You muster all the strength you can in one kick, can feel it connect with something, Toji’s voice breaking off into a rough growl, his frustration making a chill shoot down your spine. His grip loosens just enough for you to break free, using the rest of your upper body strength to pull yourself up fully.
When you reach the top of the ladder you’re exhausted. You aren’t given an opportunity to wallow in satisfaction, a searing pain shooting across your leg like a spreading fire. Still at the bottom of the ladder stands Toji, a gun aimed at you, mirth in his eyes and a sharp, stiff smile on his lips. The bullet merely grazed your leg, but it still hurt like hell.
“You’re a fucking cheater,” you spit, eyes narrowed almost accusingly at the man.
Toji rolls his eyes. “Since when have there ever been rules with our encounters?”
Never.
There’s never been rules. Anything goes. Still, you think it was a cheap, unnecessary move on his part. Maybe if the roles were reversed, you’d do the same, but at the moment you’re simply pissed off.
“Besides, I could’ve shot you right here,” Toji taps a finger right between his eyebrows, eyes hooded as he glared up at you. “Shouldn’t you fall to my feet and show how appreciative you are that I didn't?”
You inhale sharply through your nose, heat pooling in your stomach. Even if it sounds tempting, you would never admit it, which is why you mumble, “I would never.” The breathiness of your voice reveals whatever you were trying to conceal anyways.
Toji looks unimpressed, a challenging look in his eyes when his eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, really? We’ll see about that.”
You take off up the stairs of the fire escape the moment you see Toji beginning to climb the ladder. It’s difficult to run up flights of metal stairs with heels on, but you push the discomfort aside and push yourself to run faster. Your chest hurts and your lungs feel like they’re moments away from collapsing.
You stop outside one of the windows, kicking it haphazardly, shards of sharp glass shattering at your feet. Without a second thought, you recklessly climb inside. The room you’re in seems to be a cheap hotel room, with tacky floral wallpaper plastered to the walls, and carpet that probably has seen more disgusting things than you can imagine.
You hear the familiar crunch of glass and turn just in time to see Toji rushing you at full speed. He collides into you roughly, sends you falling to the carpet before you can attempt any countermove.
His body is a warm, heavy weight on top of you, his bodyweight keeping you pinned to the ground. Your fingers ghost over the handle of the blade resting in its sheath on your thigh, Toji noticing the movement a second too late. You have the blade against his throat in the next moment. His gun is against your temple just as fast, his eyes flashing dangerously.
His eyes never stray from yours, both of your chests rising and falling in sync. He stares hard, stares like he is mulling over all the ways he could make you scream. It’s a look that you’ve grown familiar with, yet it still makes you feel like you’re going to choke on your breaths.
“I could kill you right now,” you mutter, pointedly pressing the blade a little harder against his neck, watching a thin red line of blood appear.
“And so could I.”
“But you won't,” you whisper. It’s a dangerous assumption. Today could be the day he finally puts an end to the constant, never ending game of cat and mouse for good. “I think we both know that.”
Toji’s eyebrow twitches dangerously, dark and empty eyes dropping to your lips. His tongue pokes at the corner of his mouth, right by a scar that you inflicted upon his during one of your very first encounters with the man.
You lift your free hand and mindlessly trail a finger over the scar, undeniably pleased that you left a permanent mark of yourself on the man. Toji’s eyes only seem to darken more as if he’s aware of exactly what you’re thinking.
All faint hints of amusement have completely dissipated from both of your faces. His eyes were heavy on you like he was ready to devour you, like he could see past all your layers and see your soul laid bare ready for him to take. Ever since it became an unbreakable habit for you two to fight, only for you to be pinned down and fucked dumb, you were his. You were his, and he was yours, in whatever strange, twisted way you both could have each other.
It certainly wasn’t love, it was something darker, just pure, carnal desire and lust. At least that’s what you think. You aren’t good at describing this strange relationship you have with Toji. He’s like a black hole, the closer you get, the deeper you’re sucked in, and you can’t escape. You aren’t sure if you even want to escape.
When he easily disarms you without any struggle, you know for sure you don’t want to escape. It’s almost pathetic how quick you are to angle your head up, searching for Toji’s lips. Things are never easy with Toji, but he seems to grant you some mercy for now.
He surges down and meets you halfway. Nothing about it was gentle, it was heated and heavy from the beginning. It’s bruising and almost painful the way Toji kisses you - it always is. It’s messy, your teeth clashing together accidentally at a point, the split in your lip hurting even more, the metallic taste returning once again.
You tangle your hands in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer and deepening the kiss further. You can feel him smile into the kiss, his teeth grazing your bottom lip roughly.
He pulls away suddenly, your eyes opening and glancing at him questioningly. Toji stands over you, legs on either side of your body. He grins and merely looks down on you, arrogance radiating off of him in thick waves. You lay there on the ground with a heaving chest, trying to reel in your neediness and stabilize your heavy breathing.
“Look at you,” Toji teases with a sneer, looking intimidating and powerful with his casual stance looming over you. “Finally where you belong - at my feet obediently waiting like a mutt who wants to be stepped on. Wanna start begging the way I know you’re aching to so we can speed this up?”
You stare stupidly at Toji for a moment, your mouth parted slightly in silent shock. Just those words alone got a rise out of you, more than you’d like to admit, but you hold onto your pride and refuse to give the satisfaction to Toji. There’s so many things you think you could say as a comeback, but none of them make it past the lump that’s stuck in your throat.
“I don’t beg,” you mutter, but your eyes and voice betray you, shining with want.
Toji certainly recognizes the bullshit, but chooses not to directly call you out on the blatant lie. He doesn’t need to anyways, him staying silent and regarding you with a calculating look tells you he has you exactly where he wants you.
“I’ll make you,” he says, and the smirk on his lips and the look in his eyes lets you know that it’s a promise, “On your knees.”
Your face is already warming and you feel so terribly vulnerable under his stare. It’s harder to push away all the desperate thoughts that Toji is beginning to plant in your mind. His words bounce around in your head relentlessly and you decide then to swallow your pride. Pretending like you don’t want him is only self sabotage.
So you take a small step in the direction of surrendering and listen to him. Your muscles ache when you push yourself off your back and onto your knees. Toji is tall, has you craning your neck at an uncomfortable angle just to catch a glimpse of the self-assured expression on his face.
Toji just stares at you for a while, draws out the tension that is lingering between you and has you so high off anticipation that you nearly spill out the incoherent begs that Toji wants to hear from you. The energy between you two is so charged up, buzzing relentlessly. The shift in the air is enough to keep you on your knees the way he ordered.
You take it upon yourself to touch, hands tracing up his thighs and resting on the waistband of his pants, pausing for approval. Toji’s lip is curled in a grimace, sharp eyes cutting through skin and bone.
“No,” he says coldly, “Ask for it the way I want to hear. Tell me how desperate you are for me to fuck your throat until you’re hoarse. Don’t be shy.”
His words evoke a shaky sigh from you that is dangerously close to a quiet moan. It would be embarrassing but you’re already too far gone to brood on it. You can feel your self restraint slipping from between your fingers the longer you proceed to deny yourself of what it is you really want.
Toji is cruel, expects obedience, only rewarding you if you listen to him. You know he really won't touch you, won't do anything, unless you give in and give him what he wants - unless you admit to him in pathetic begs all the things you want him to do to you.
He might even leave altogether, go find someone else that would listen to him. You don’t know for sure if he would, but you don’t want to test it, almost positive that there are plenty of people who would be willing to fall into bed with this man.
“Please, I need it,” you whisper shakily, struggling to maintain eye contact with eyes that are full of sadistic satisfaction. “Do whatever you want, make me suffer, don’t stop until I’m screaming.”
One of his eyebrows arch, a low whistle drifting from pursed lips. His whole demeanor is mocking, his eyes feigning shock. He doesn’t verbally praise you the way you were hoping, merely nods his head and gives you permission to continue.
Your hands shakily undo his zipper, butterflies erupting in your stomach. Toji’s eyes were dripping with something dangerous. He was right, you did want him as bad as he claimed you did, there was no point in pretending now. You fall into the role he wants you in easily - a needy nothing eager to take whatever he gave you.
You show Toji just how right he is by how quickly you wrap your lips around the head of his dick. Toji is big, gets your jaw aching from the stretch, yet you still take it the best you can. You lap at his slit, swirl your tongue around the head torturously slow. With all the teasing he does, you want him to see what it feels like. You blink at him through lashes, see the tick in his jaw. It makes your heart race and you wonder how far you can push him before he snaps.
Toji is anything but patient, though. He likes setting the pace for everything, loves full control and obedience, so it’s no surprise when that thin thread of patience he did have breaks.
“Keep acting like a little bitch and see where that gets you,” he spits, literally and figuratively, his saliva sticking to your eyelashes and slowly dripping down your cheek. “You know I don’t like teasing.”
Just to punctuate his point, he trails his gun gently down the side of your face, starting at your temple and going down, the metal cold against your burning skin. Thick humiliation pours over you in heavy waves. It’s humiliating how much you enjoy it. You know he wouldn’t pull the trigger, but the thrill of how much power he has over you tingles down your spine. Your body betrays you, a quiet moan slipping past your lips.
You take as much of him as you can, his dick fully filling your mouth and stretching the corners of your lips. You suck on his dick greedily, like your life depends on it. You never pictured yourself being this needy for anyone, only Toji was able to make you act in such a way that was unusual for yourself. It’s difficult to form even a single coherent thought, too focused on pleasing Toji.
Every time you glance up and catch a glimpse of hooded eyes staring at you intensely, his tongue poking at the corner of his mouth, it makes your heart leap, makes you feel so small.
“You’re so easy,” Toji mutters callously, amusement heavy in his voice.
You frown, the glare you fix Toji with only making the entertained smirk on his face grow more. He tilts his head to the side, looks so fucking confident and sure of himself, silently challenging you as if he’s waiting for you to deny it.
You’re stubborn, so you do just that, your words coming out muffled around his dick, “I’m not easy.”
“Ah, but you are for me,” He coos, trying relentlessly to get a rise out of you, to make you act like a fool and humiliate yourself even further without him having to.
Despite the floaty feeling in your head, the way tension seeps away from your body with a louder moan, you still prepare to deny Toji’s words.
But he’s right, you are easy for him. Only him.
Toji doesn’t give you the opportunity to say anything else, his hands tangling in your hair and yanking. His tight grip holds you in place, Toji thrusting into your mouth. His dick hits the back of your throat, has you choking on saliva, gagging. Your hands shoot out to his thighs to stabilize yourself. He grunts with each thrust, his fingers tangled so tightly in your hair you can hardly move your head, can do nothing but take it.
It registers then that he’s using you, that you’re letting yourself be used so willingly, like a toy for his pleasure, only proving his earlier point about how easy you were for him. It makes heat rise to your face, your hips grinding against nothing. Your head is spiraling, a flush coloring your cheeks. You want more, more than he was giving you now.
Heavy pants fall from Toji’s mouth. When you glance up at him again, you get a view of nothing but his neck and jaw, his head thrown back towards the ceiling. There’s no reason it should be that attractive. Just knowing that he was enjoying it made you want to keep going. You wanted to hear more of his sounds, loud curses and breathy moans.
Toji is chasing his own release, fucking your mouth with no mercy, the wet sounds and gags only seeming to make the man breath heavier and heavier. It’s not long before your vision begins to blur, your eyes swimming with a layer of tears. You take it all, your knees glued to the floor at Toji’s feet, hot tears running down your burning face, chest heaving.
“What do you think people would say if they could see you right now, mh?” Toji grunts, his words dripping with faux sympathy, his tone sickly sweet, but his stare pointed and hard, making your stomach flip. “The mighty, notorious assassin on her knees, in tears, choking on a dick.”
You don’t wanna imagine what people would think if they saw you, on your knees sucking on Toji’s dick like his own personal slut. It would be humiliating if anyone discovered how weak you truly were for the same man you were so hellbent on killing. No matter how hard you try though, you can’t find yourself caring, not when all rational thoughts are being replaced by Toji and only Toji.
You can tell Toji is close by the heavy pants falling from his mouth. There is blood roaring in your ears as you wait impatiently for him to reach his peak. There’s a voice in the back of your head that appears for a moment, wondering when you became so needy for this one man.
It’s obvious how bad you want it even if you try to conceal it, but Toji himself seems so lost in his own pleasure that he doesn’t care enough to taunt you for it. All the anticipation that has been building inside you despite how much you tried to push it away, is sated the moment Toji stills, releasing down your throat.
He waits a moment, his chest rising and falling. His hands loosen their tight hold they had on your hair. When you look at him through half lidded eyes, Toji is focused on tucking himself back into his pants, his eyes only going to yours a moment later.
He thumbs at the corner of your mouth, wiping away the cum that spilled from your mouth, pushing past your lips and letting you suck at his thumb.
Toji stares at you with something akin to pride, though the arrogance that radiates off him is too strong to ignore. “Wanna try running your mouth now?”
“I hate you,” you croak hoarsely, your voice already muffled by the thumb pressing against your tongue roughly.
“No, you don’t,” Toji laughs, not in a kind or friendly manner, but in a cruel way. He’s laughing at you, laughing at your clear struggle to speak despite how hard you try to seem unaffected. The sharp smile on his face, the pleased look in his eyes, the way he’s blatantly laughing at your misery, it cuts through many layers, hits your ego and makes you feel small.
He offers you a hand, which you take only because your legs feel weak and your knees ache. You lean into his body, allow him to guide you to the large bed at the center of the room. The sigh that leaves your mouth the moment you fall against the mattress is instant.
Toji sits at the edge of the bed, pulling his shirt over his head. His bare back is facing you, a mess of scratches and scars on his skin. His shoulders are broad, dark ink painted across his arms, muscles contracting as he moved.
You watch as he reaches a hand in his pocket, fishing out a cigarette and lighting it. He holds the cigarette between two fingers, veins protruding from his skin and dancing from his hand and up his arm. He blows smoke at the ceiling, black hair falling away from his eyes. The man oozes sex appeal without even trying and it was fucking with your mind a little bit.
“That shit kills, y’know,” you murmur.
Toji hardly turns his head to glance at you, almost looks confused. “What? You worried a cigarette is gonna take me out before you get the chance to?”
“No, I’m still gonna kill you.”
“That becomes less convincing each time you say it,” Toji scoffs, shaking his head, “all this big talk only to let me dick you down in the end.”
You open your mouth to argue, but quickly shut it when you realize that he’s not lying. As much as you don’t want to admit it or give him another reason to be smug, it’s true. Toji notices your silence, a huff of breathy laughter drifting from his mouth. For once, he chooses not to taunt further, and you’re glad.
Toji stands suddenly, stretching his arms above his head. All you can do is stare at the expanse of skin revealed and silently appreciate his very toned figure. You feel the mattress sink in as Toji joins you on the bed, his back resting against the headboard. His eyes are shut, the man looking completely at ease as he smoked the cigarette. As if he can feel your stare on him, he peeks open one eye to focus on you.
“Come here,” he says, patting at his lap.
You push yourself up onto your elbows, narrowing your eyes at Toji, but still crawl over to his lap. His fingers instantly go to the zipper at the back of your dress, pulling it down tantalizingly slow.
Goosebumps break out across your skin at the feeling of his fingertips softly trailing across your exposed skin. The touch is hardly there, but that’s what makes you go crazy. It makes it hard for you to focus on getting Toji out of his pants again, but you manage.
Once you’re both fully undressed, the heat of Toji’s eyes simply trailing across your body makes you feel the beginning hints of nerves. One of his hands trails up the curve of your spine before resting on the small of your back. You tear open a condom packet and slide it on Toji, avoiding eye contact with him because you don’t think you could handle looking into those eyes right now.
You line yourself up with his dick, slowly sinking down on him as his inches fill you up. The sharp inhale that gets caught in your throat sounds very similar to a choked moan, the noise too loud in your own ears. Toji lets out a low moan under his breath, the sound going straight to your core. There’s a moment where you don’t move at all, letting yourself adjust to the slight sting of Toji’s dick stretching your walls.
You set a pace for yourself, eagerly grinding your hips against his dick. You lean forward to rest the palms of your hands against his warm chest. There’s a warm tingling in your stomach, the built up frustration seeping from your body.
But Toji isn’t touching you, still smoking that cigarette casually, a lazy grin tugging at the corners of his lips. You’re desperate to have his hands on you, and you’re at the point where you don’t even care to hide it anymore.
“Touch me,” you whisper breathlessly, pleading eyes meeting indifferent ones.
Toji turns his head and blows another puff of smoke, looking unimpressed when he turns back to you again. “You know I like hearing you beg for things, right?”
You shouldn't have expected anything different. Toji never just gave things to you the way you always hoped he would, he wouldn’t do anything until he was pleased enough by the amount of begging you did.
You continue to shamelessly grind your hips down on him, daring to speed up to the point your thighs begin to burn. It’s not enough, though. You're quickly getting tired, and you know Toji is sitting back and enjoying every moment of it.
This is the moment where you toss all remaining dignity to the side, acting accordingly to how Toji expects, whimpering, squirming, and begging just to get his hands on you. “Toji, please. Please, do something, at least touch me.”
Toji arches a brow, has the audacity to look sympathetic when you know deep down he’s not. Maybe you looked needy enough in his eyes for him to give in. He stretches his arm and sets out the cigarette on a side table, a small burn mark left behind. Once his hands are on you, your heart is soaring, fiery and icy chills shooting down your body. Calloused fingertips drag everywhere across your body, squeezing at your breasts, slowly teasing your nipples. You aren’t subtle at all with the way you push yourself further into his touch.
His hands eventually settle at your hips, fingers digging into the flesh, his feet moving to rest flat against the mattress. Toji thrusts up into you roughly, quickly reminding you that he’s the one in control of the situation. A gasp is ripped from your chest that breaks off into a loud moan, your nails digging into the skin of his chest. Toji holds you in place, thrusts slow and languid, his dick hitting deep each time, drawing out the pleasure. There’s hardly enough air left in your lungs from rapid panting.
It’s not enough, you don’t think it’ll ever be enough. You want more, want him to go faster to the point you lose your mind. “Faster, please,” you whisper.
Toji glares at you from behind the locks of black hair that fall into his eyes. That’s the last thing you register before the begins thrusting at a punishing pace. You're consumed by nothing but intense pleasure, suddenly everything that wasn’t enough becomes too much. Each thrust goes straight to your head so fast that you’re dizzy, overwhelmed by his dick relentlessly sliding in and out of you.
That fuzzy feeling in your brain is only making you sink further into the haze, makes you want to go pliant and be nothing but an obedient toy for Toji’s pleasure. Your thighs quiver and your arms begin to shake, the stimulation becoming too much as you’re unable to stop yourself from falling against Toji’s chest, the exhaustion making your limbs feel like mush.
You let Toji have his way with you, his hands trailing down to your ass and squeezing roughly. From this angle you can feel everything, can feel every quick slide of his dick, the pressure growing into a tight ball in your stomach ready to break.
He always fucks you so thoroughly to the point you swear you can see stars, your words completely failing you as a garbled mess of moans spill from your lips instead.
“This is what you asked for, isn't it?” his voice is a deep, low rumble, spoken right against your ear, “So shut the fuck up and take it.”
You can feel tears pricking at your eyes again, a string of broken moans and curses drifting from your mouth. Each low groan and gruff grunt that Toji breathes out beside your ear only gets you more riled up, lost in the moment and focused solely on Toji.
He licks a stripe up your neck, teeth grazing at sensitive skin after a particular harsh thrust that has you digging your nails into his skin, a gasp getting caught painfully in your chest.
It’s easy for you to tell when Toji’s close. The man’s breathing heavier, deep moans pulled from his chest and falling against your ear. He only goes faster and rougher, swallowed entirely by his own desire and his own need to finish.
He’s merciless, fucks as intensely as he fights, abuses a tight bundle of nerves and has the knot in your lower stomach increasing, your eyes clenching shut tightly and you aren’t able to muffle the loud, lewd moan that he rips out of you. Your whole body is draped in a fuzzy warmth, your limbs feeling satisfyingly numb.
You’re sucked so deeply in the hazy mindset you don’t notice Toji has reached his climax until he chokes on a moan, thrusting into you roughly two more times before stilling inside you with a low growl.
There’s nothing but heavy pants, both of you lying there catching your breath for a moment and recovering. You’re both covered in sweat, and you feel sticky and gross, that alone sobering you up enough. Toji slides out of you, has you hissing under your breath. He’s the first to move, disappearing for a moment before returning with a towel in his hands.
You lay on your back, eyes following Toji’s every move as he gently begins wiping away some of the sweat clinging to your skin. It’s so silent it’s peaceful, the most peaceful moment you think you’ve ever managed to share with the man. You do nothing but stare at him, brain filled with a million questions that you were suddenly curious to ask, but your relationship did not extend past fighting and fucking.
“If I stay here with you tonight, will I wake up to my throat being slit?” Toji mutters, soft and tired eyes capturing your own and stealing your breath away.
“Not likely,” you murmur, “If I stay here with you tonight, will I wake up to a bullet being shot through my brain?”
Toji shoots a look at you, the faintest hint of a smile on his lips. “Probably not.”
Something about this night felt different. Maybe it was the result of your post orgasm high messing with your mind, but the almost casual intimacy was disturbing. It was more disturbing that you were enjoying it, soaking up this awkward in between moment when typically one of you would’ve disappeared by now.
And maybe you want to share more of these moments with him, moments beyond the usual fucking and fighting, moments that give you small glimpses of who this man really is.
Toji is offering you his hand, eyes no longer looking like those of the predatory killer you know he is. “C’mon, let’s shower.”
You take his hand and let him gently lift you from the bed, leaning all of your weight against Toji’s body.
And maybe there’s a deeper reason why you two can never stay away from each other when you’re supposed to be enemies, supposed to be focused on killing the other.
You’re too terrified to think about it, so you push it away to the back of your head to worry about it the next time you two cross paths and fall right back into this unbreakable loop.