Chapter Text
After making sure he had his favorite Adidas tucked away, Louis zipped up his beat-up duffel bag and began lugging it downstairs, praying the frayed handles wouldn’t finally put themselves out of their misery and snap from the weight. He had plenty of money to buy a new goddamn suitcase, but the bag had been with him since their first tour. He was a sentimental sap, despite how hard he tried not to show it.
That side of him had been more exposed in the past few weeks, but he still felt a little silly being so attached to a duffel bag.
Before Louis could even make it to the staircase, Liam was already calling out for him. “Lou!” Louis rolled his eyes even though no one was around to appreciate it. Liam didn’t have to be so cross about him putting off getting his stuff gathered. He was the last of the boys to get everything packed, he didn’t know why Liam was so bloody surprised.
“I’m coming,” Louis called back, resisting the urge to add ‘you prick’ to the end. Sometimes he forgot that there was a little one in the house now.
He made his way into the kitchen, where Liam was standing by the island, looking over something on his phone, probably an email from management. His boyfriend finally noticed his presence and asked, “Do you have everything you need packed?”
Louis tossed his duffel bag at Liam’s feet, on the tiled floors. “Yes, Daddy.”
Liam looked up from his phone to glare at Louis. “I told you not to call me that when the baby isn’t around.”
“Sorry, Daddy.” Louis flashed Liam that shit-eating smile he could never resist, and gave himself a mental pat on the back when the Wolverhampton native failed to hide his fond and let the corners of his lips tug slightly upwards. “Speaking of our baby, how is he?”
Liam tucked his phone in his pocket and said, “He’s playing in the lounge. He ate all his lunch too, not that that’s a surprise.”
“I meant how is he taking us getting back to work?” Louis walked past Zayn, who was finishing the washing up from lunch at the sink, and opened the fridge. “I know we all talked about it with him a few days ago, but I wanted to make sure he’s still holdin’ up alright.” He pulled two beers out, one for himself and one for Liam.
They hadn't even had any alcohol since the change in their polyamorous relationship, and even though it was hardly one in the afternoon, Liam didn't see the harm in just having one beer. Not that they couldn't have had a beer in the past few weeks, but they had been a bit too distracted for boozing. Liam accepted the drink after his shorter boyfriend opened it for him. “Niall’s doing fine. He’s not exactly happy about things having to go back to normal, but he's a trooper. He's just enjoying the rest of today, can't say I blame him.” Liam leaned against the island, shrugging thoughtfully. "We finally get to do this for him and now we have to go back to how things were before."
Zayn sighed as he set the last plate in the washer after rinsing it off. They all loved their lives as One Direction, but their recent existences as Daddy, Papa, Dada, Baba, and Baby Niall had been refreshing.
“It’s not like we’re going to quit being his daddies, either,” Zayn finally piped in after turning off the sink. He dried his hands off on a dishcloth and added, “Ni’s still our baby even when he has to act 21 and he knows that.”
Louis smirked around the brim of his beer bottle and took another swig before saying, “Ah, always the insightful one, babe.” He held the bottle up and asked, “Want one?”
Zayn shook his head as he hung up the dishcloth. “Nah, I shouldn't, it’s almost naptime.”
Louis nodded understandingly, and Zayn took that as his cue to leave. He made his way into the lounge, where he found Niall sitting on the floor, dressed in a loose white vest and black jogging bottoms. He looked like an adult, but the little toy cars he was pushing around and the top of the nappy poking out from the hem of his joggers reassured Zayn that Niall was his baby boy. Their baby boy.
“Hi, love,” Zayn softly said, kneeling down next to the blonde. Niall looked up from running a little red car over his leg and smiled at Zayn. “What’ve you got there?”
“Racecars, Baba,” Niall told him, not exactly in a higher pitched voice, but one softer than his usual boisterous tone. He held up the red car, leaving the blue one on his thigh. “This one’s winnin’.”
Zayn smiled down at his Irish boyfriend and gently scooted the blue car down his thigh and onto the carpeted floor. “That’s great, baby, but I think it’s time for my little man to take a nap.”
Niall pouted at the toy car in his hand, but sat it down next to his other and lifted his arms up to be carried. He wasn’t looking to get in trouble, not today, at least. He just wanted to have one more fun day with his daddies, even if he had to take a stupid nap.
“Good boy,” Zayn softly said as he hefted Niall onto his hip with expertise.
Niall snaked his arms around his Baba’s neck and rested his head on his shoulder. He noticed the stuffed giraffe he had left on the couch and quietly said next to Zayn’s ear, “Can I have Gracie, please?”
“You sure can.” Zayn swiped the plushie up and handed it to his baby, who crushed it to his chest, and placed his now free hand on Niall’s back. “You’ve been such a nice boy for your daddies today, Nialler. Maybe we can have some ice cream later,” Zayn said as he began to carry the boy to their room.
Niall actually was kind of sleepy, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Ice cream sounded really good, though. “Cookie dough?” he asked, as if asking permission. He was pretty sure that was the only kind they had, at the moment, so he wasn’t expecting a no.
He didn’t get one, either. “Of course.” Zayn gave his bum a pat with the hand that had been cradling it. The padding underneath his hand reminded him to check Niall’s nappy, so he did so with his other hand quickly to avoid embarrassing him. Niall still got flustered when it came to that aspect of their new lifestyle, but he wasn’t fooled and knew exactly what Zayn was doing.
“Baabaaaa,” Niall moaned, balling some of Zayn’s shirt in his fist. “I’m not wet.”
“Just checking, love. Don’t whine at Baba,” Zayn firmly told the boy as he entered the master bedroom. “Little boys who whine don’t get ice cream, do they?” Niall merely lifted his head off Zayn’s shoulder and gave it a few feeble shakes. “That’s right. Now let’s get you settled in.”
Zayn didn’t really want to be too strict with his little boy, especially over something so minor, but he didn’t want to let him get away with everything, either. He realized discipline was a part of this life that Niall wanted, and he was very willing to scold him for acting out. Luckily, he had never had to actually punish him. Not yet, anyway.
He held up the duvet for Niall, who crawled under it and made himself comfortable. Zayn fluffed his pillow and ran a hand through Niall’s hair as he and Gracie settled in.
“Love you, Baba,” Niall mumbled sleepily, finally shutting his eyes.
Zayn smiled at the sleepy boy. “Baba loves you too. Sleep tight, sweetheart,” he quietly said, placing a soft kiss on Niall’s forehead and made sure the covers were just the way Niall liked them before walking out of the room and shutting the door behind him.
As Niall drifted off, he couldn’t help but think about what led to this change in their lifestyle. Ironically enough, it kind of started in the very bed he was currently napping in.
Jay and Dan, having six kids to take care of, didn’t get much time to themselves. The older girls were out of the house for the day, so Louis offered to watch the twins so the couple could be off parent duty for the day. Louis didn’t get to see Doris and Ernest too often, since he had been on tour for most of the few months since they had been born, so it was a good excuse to get to spend some time with them. That, and his boyfriends had met them but hadn’t really been around them, and it was a good chance to get the twins used to them.
Niall, picking the colorful toy keys off the floor that Harry had previously been dangling in front of one of the babies before he had left to use the toilet, sat down on one of their couches and took in everything happening in the lounge. They had fed the twins lunch not too long ago, and right now Louis was in the middle of picking out a movie for them all to watch, since they seemed to be all played out. Liam was keeping Ernest occupied and Zayn and Doris were on the other couch doing an activity the two seemed to have in common: napping.
Niall couldn’t help but smile at the sight of one of his boyfriends with a baby sleeping on his chest. He was kind of tired himself, but there wasn’t exactly room on Zayn’s chest for him too.
Was it bad that he wanted to be in Doris’ place?
“Uh, Louis?” Liam’s voice snapped Niall’s attention from Zayn, even though he wasn’t the one being called.
“Yeah, babe?” Louis asked, not looking up at his boyfriend as he rifled through the few child-friendly DVDs they had on hand.
“I, uh, I think Ernie… used his nappy,” Liam slowly said and, when Louis finally glanced up, he saw that Liam was holding the baby at arm’s length, meaning he probably messed rather than wet.
The corners of Louis’ lips quirked. He could tell he was in for a show. “Well, I don’t know how they raise babies in Wolverhampton, but where I’m from, we change the nappies when babies do that.”
Liam let out a deep breath. He should have expected this. “I’ve never changed a nappy before! What if I do it wrong and… break him or something?” He knew how dumb it sounded the instant the words came out of his mouth but, damn it, he only had experience holding and playing with babies. He had always been able to hand them back over to their mums when they stopped being cute.
“How the bloody hell do you think nappy changes work?” Louis barked through a laugh, as he went to retrieve the changing mat, then laid it down in front of Liam. “Put the little lad down, I’ll walk you through it. Y’gotta learn sooner or later.”
Liam complied, but nervously added, “Maybe I could watch you do it? Y’know, to see how it’s done.”
Louis resisted the urge to laugh at Liam’s expense. He was a damn good boyfriend, despite what the others said. For the most part. “Liam, wiping a poopy bum isn’t exactly rocket science. You’ll do fine.”
Niall nervously fiddled with the toy keys in his hands as he watched Louis give Liam step-by-step instructions on what to do. It was sickeningly adorable how big, strong Liam was so anxious about changing a baby’s diaper. Louis had to take his hands and practically force him to go faster because he was going so slow, but Liam was very gentle, and quietly spoke to Ernie as he worked, as if the baby was the one that was nervous instead of himself. Making sure others were taken care of was where Liam found his own comfort, and it only made Niall’s heart long for that same type of treatment.
Not that Liam didn’t take care of him, but… It wasn’t the same.
“Aaaaand, there you go,” Louis said as he guided Liam’s hand to securely tape the nappy. He tugged Ernest's trousers back into place and lifted him into his arms, casting Liam a side glance. “Now you just have to throw the mess away and we’re good to go!”
“I’m pretty sure you only wanted to teach me how to change a nappy so you wouldn’t have to,” Liam grumbled, though he gathered the wadded wipe and used nappy and went to dispose of them anyway. There was no point arguing with Louis, and he knew that by now.
The blue-eyed lad’s smirk confirmed Liam’s accusation, though Liam didn’t see it. He still knew. “Li-Li’s silly, huh, buddy?” Louis asked, his voice barely above a whisper, as he tickled the baby’s partially exposed belly where his jumper rode up, earning a teeny tiny giggle that only made Louis’ smile wider. Niall felt a twinge in his heart, though it wasn’t a good one, like he thought it should be.
Niall was… envious, for a lack of a better word. He wanted to be in Ernest’s place, and he felt disgusted for it. He shouldn’t want his boyfriend to treat him the same way he treated his infant brother.
He gripped the multicolored keys tightly in his hands and made his way out of the lounge. He was overwhelmed with feelings that he had always tried to push away, and he needed to be alone before someone noticed something was wrong. He blindly walked up the staircase and stumbled into their master bedroom before stumbling into their bed, still fully clothed, and finally allowing himself to cry.
Why did he feel this way? Why did he feel this odd sort of envy whenever he saw a baby with a dummy contently bobbing in his mouth or a toddler being carried around by her daddy so she didn’t tire her little legs out? Niall had had these desires for a while, but he always hoped it was some weird teenage fetish he would grow out of. But here he was, 21 years old and crying like a baby because he wasn’t being treated like one.
He wasn’t sure if it was a fetish persay, it didn’t really seem like one. Niall was pretty sure these feelings had nothing to do with sex, but that’s all anyone would think it was about, right? And then he would just look like a creep.
The Irish lad rubbed his thumb over the smooth texture of the plastic keys under the covers, finding a comfort of sorts in them. He wanted to stick his thumb in his mouth, something he always fought himself from doing when the urge came along, but when the door creaked open, he was glad he hadn’t.
“Niall?” The blond boy’s eyes slowly opened to find Harry in the doorway with something small in his hand, but his vision was too blurred to see what it was. “Niall, love, what’s the matter?” Harry asked, walking into their room and shutting the door behind him.
“N-Nothing,” Niall mumbled, burying himself under the covers so he wouldn’t have to face Harry. He felt the mattress dip slightly, meaning Harry must have sat down on the bed. The duvet was gently tugged away, so Niall couldn’t hide his teary eyes any longer.
Harry smiled sadly and wiped Niall’s dewy cheek with the pad of his thumb. Niall closed his eyes and allowed Harry to do so as he said, “It doesn’t seem like nothing. Talk to me, Nialler.”
If only he could. Niall wanted more than anything to be able to tell his boyfriends how he craved being babied and pampered and protected and loved- but he just… couldn’t. They would never understand. They would think he was a freak or a child molester or… or a child molesting freak.
Okay, deep down, he knew nothing would change how his boyfriends felt about him, but he still knew there was a good chance they wouldn't be into it and then he would feel humiliated, sad, and just plain awkward. It was better to just keep it to himself.
“Seeing the babies just… makes me miss Theo, is all,” Niall sniffled, feeling heat rise to his face. Damn his Irish complexion. At least he was able to pull something out of his ass.
“Aww,” Harry quietly said, running a hand through Niall’s soft, ungelled hair. “It’s okay to miss him, babe. I’m sure you’ll get to see him and the rest of your family sometime soon. No more tears, huh? We’re going to have fun today, right?”
Niall sniffled once again, attempting to smile as he slowly nodded. Moments like this made him feel warm and fluttery deep down, like his tummy was being tickled on the inside by the softest of feathers. He wanted these moments of gentleness and comfort all the time, and that just made him want to cry more.
Despite that, Niall pushed himself so he was sitting up, and finally noticed that there was a dummy in Harry’s other hand. “W-What’s that for?”
Harry lifted it up, forgetting that he had it for a moment, before he said, “Oh, it fell out of Dory’s mouth while she was napping, so I cleaned it off. But then I noticed you were gone, so I came to find you.”
Niall knew it was ridiculous to be disappointed that the dummy wasn’t for him, but a guy could dream.
“Do you want to come downstairs? We’re going to watch Up,” Harry told him. Niall couldn’t recall why five grown-ass men had a copy of Up on Blu Ray but he wasn’t complaining. He loved that movie.
“Yeah, just… start without me. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” Niall lied, slowly scooting himself until he was just propped up on his elbows.
Harry nodded and gave him a small smile. “Alright, babe. You’ve seen how the movie starts. You don’t need more things to cry about anyway.” He ducked down to peck Niall on the lips before slowly exited the room, shutting the door behind him. He wanted to allow Niall a few more moments of alone time, and Niall took advantage of them by burying himself under the covers and pretending everything was alright.
It didn’t work.
A soft knocking interrupted his slumber. Niall groggily blinked and glared at the closed door, even if it was the person behind it at fault for waking him.
“Niall, it’s Papa,” he heard through the door. He didn’t really need that clarified, Harry was the only one of his daddies who ever knocked on the door before waking him up from his nap. He always came in a few moments later anyway, but Niall always figured it was a force of habit or something. Even if they were all dating and didn’t need that much privacy, he still found himself trying to be polite.
Niall was so warm and snuggly under all the blankets Baba had tucked him and Gracie under. He didn’t want nap time to be over. He pulled the comforter over his head and hoped that Papa would think he wasn’t there and leave him alone.
He heard the sound of the door opening and Yves Saint Laurent boots clacking against the hardwood floors in their bedroom, but the footsteps stopped suddenly. “Ni-Ni?” Harry was about to go over and pull off the blankets, but he saw the boy squirm around under them. He could tell Niall was trying not to laugh, and just then did he realize that Niall was hiding from him.
Two could play at that game.
“Where did my baby go?” Harry asked, loudly feigning concern. “I could have sworn Baba put him down for a nap in here…”
Niall bit his lip to keep from laughing, but a few giggles may have snuck out. He thought he was being quiet, at least.
Harry failed to resist the smile that spread across his face. “Maybe he’s in the closet…” He made a racket out of rummaging through the various articles of clothing he and his boyfriends tended to share, his smile only widening when he continued to hear Niall’s giggling. “Hmm, nope. He’s not there. The dresser?” He slammed some drawers open and shut, his eyes set on the lump wriggling under the duvet the entire time. “He’s not there either!” He flopped down on the bed with a dramatic huff, right next to the lump he pretended not to notice. “What are we going to do without our little Niall?”
Niall had to cover his mouth with both hands to keep quiet. Papa was right next to him and he still didn’t know he was there all along!
Well, Harry was a dreadful actor, so a small part of him in the back of his mind kind of knew Harry was just humoring him. But that part of him was dumb and boring and he didn’t like it at all, so he was ignoring it.
Harry, continuing with his melodrama, sighed and said, “Maybe if I take a nap, Niall will come back and join me…” He rolled over, partially over the covered blond boy, and acted shocked by the lump. “I don’t remember this bed being so lumpy!” He wiggled around, making sure not to put too much of his weight on Niall, and that was all it took to get Niall to stop trying to hide his laughter. As Niall loudly giggled at how silly his papa was, Harry made a confused noise before finally lifting the covers up to reveal a curled up blond boy.
“Y-You found me!” Niall said between giggles.
Harry gasped. “Niall! I thought you were gone forever, baby! It’s not nice to scare Papa like that,” he jokingly scolded, tickling Niall’s sides and making him laugh even louder. He let up and allowed his baby to finally calm down before combing Niall’s hair away from his forehead. Babies don’t use product in their hair, so it had hardly been styled up the way Big Niall did it. “Did you sleep well?”
“Mmhmm,” Niall hummed in confirmation, leaning into his papa’s touch but not attempting to actually sit up. He was comfy and he wanted to stay that way.
Harry carded his fingers through his baby’s soft hair and said, “Good. Now come on, up and at ‘em.” He didn’t give Niall the option to get up or at ‘em, as he tucked his hands under Niall’s arms and lifted him into his lap, jolting him awake slightly more. “Dada’s getting a bottle of juice ready for you right now. Are you thirsty?”
Niall nodded, burying his face in his Papa’s neck. He hoped Papa would take the hint and carry him downstairs. Luckily, Harry was pretty good at knowing what Niall wanted without him saying it, baby or not. He tucked a hand under Niall’s bottom and hoisted him onto his hip as he stood up and made his way downstairs. Carrying him around like that had taken a while to get used to, but he was more than glad to make the adjustment.
When Niall had finally told the boys about his interests in age play, something all five boys referred to, at least in their heads, as The Confession, the other four had been more than willing to take on ‘daddy’ roles for their Irish boyfriend. Harry, however, had been the most excited.
It was no secret that Harry loves kids. Despite all the ‘somebody give Harry a baby’ jokes from fans, he really did want that, in a sense. He knew having an actual child while being only 20 years old, and especially with his job, would be ridiculous, but he had always loved the idea of having a small, innocent little person of his own to nurture and shower with love and affection. He had never imagined that one of his boyfriends would end up being that little person that Harry desired so much, but he had never imagined falling in love with four different boys at once, either.
It was unconventional, but it worked. That’s what Harry loved about his relationship with Zayn, Liam, Louis, and Niall, and that’s what he loved about being one of Niall’s daddies.
It seemed so easy now… but getting there wasn’t exactly a breeze.
Doris and Ernest had been gone for a few days, but the memories Niall had of how nurturing and loving and daddy-ish his boyfriends had been was still fresh in his mind. He had usually been able to forget those urges, or at least push them to the back of his mind for a while, but he was starting to think this time was different.
The lads could tell something was amiss with their blond boyfriend, but Harry had told them the semi-lie Niall told him, so they assumed he was still a little homesick. Niall had visited his family in Mullingar when the tour had first ended, but he hadn’t had the chance to stay long. And Niall did miss his family, so there was truth in the excuse he had given Harry, but homesickness was the least of his worries.
Niall had forgotten to slip the plastic keys back in the babies’ bag before Louis took them back to his mum’s. He kept them hidden in the underwear drawer of his dresser in his room, which was the last place any of them would look. The boys all shared a room at night, with a huge king bed to cram all five of them into, but their home had enough rooms that each of them got their own space, especially when it came to closet space for Harry and his many hats. That and, while their families had all been rather accepting of their polygamous relationship, at least after a while, none of the boys really thought their parents would appreciate the mental image of their son sharing a gigantic bed that was the perfect size for a fivesome.
After Liam would discuss the upcoming interviews they had so they could promote the new album, or the book signings they would have to prepare for, or the award shows they would have to attend, Niall would find an excuse to sneak upstairs, go into his room and fiddle with the toy keys for a minute or so. He would rub his thumb over the colored plastic, rattle them around a bit, and all that scary stuff didn’t seem so overwhelming. Once, while just jangling the keys and watching them clack against one another, Niall found his other hand slipping closer to his mouth. At first, he just bit the tip of his thumbnail, but before he knew it, he had begun sucking his thumb.
He had always thought about it, but he had never actually done it.
Before he could really react, he heard Zayn call for him from downstairs. Apparently, they were going to watch one of the Thor movies, he hadn’t mentioned which one. Niall slid his thumb out of his mouth and wiped it on the leg of his skinny jeans before tossing the keys haphazardly in his open dresser drawer and heading down the steps. He was greeted by the sound of corn popping and three lads messing around in the kitchen, and the sight of Zayn searching under the coffee table in the lounge. “Can’t find the remote?” Niall asked, scratching the back of his neck.
Zayn sighed and got back onto his feet. Their coffee table was made out of glass, so he probably should have known it wasn’t under there. “No. Like that’s any bloody surprise,” Zayn muttered. Between the five of them, you’d think it would be easier for them to keep track of their possessions. Nope.
“Lemme help.” Niall looked under the cushions for one of the sofas, while Zayn searched the other. Niall laid down on his belly and poked his head in the large space under the couch. Lo and behold, there was the remote, but it wasn’t alone. A bright purple dummy, which he recognized as the one Harry had cleaned off for Doris, was not too far from the remote. It must have slipped out of her mouth once again and gone unnoticed that time, eventually ending up getting kicked under the sofa.
Niall paused, and he must have done so for a noticeable long time, because Zayn nudged Niall's socked foot with his own and asked, “Bebs, you stuck down there?”
“No. I-I found it.” Thanks to the small flap of fabric covering his shoulders, Zayn couldn’t see what Niall could. He slid the remote across the hardwood in Zayn’s direction with one hand and snagged the dummy with the other. He heard Zayn mumble his thanks and felt him tap his bum with his foot before the Bradford lad shuffled off to figure out what Liam was yelling at Louis for. It most likely involved the popcorn, but knowing Louis, it could be anything.
Niall took the opportunity to get out from under the couch and slip upstairs to add the dummy to what was becoming his collection. He kind of felt bad for hoarding toys and dummies that used to belong to actual babies, but it’s not like he stole them from them.
Well, he technically, accidentally stole the keys, but Louis bought the twins enough toys when they were born that they would hardly notice some dinky toy keys or a silly little dummy.
Little did he know, those dinky toy keys and that silly little dummy would lead to a big reveal.
“Look who’s awake,” Harry announced once he and Niall made their way into the kitchen where Louis, as Harry had promised, was finishing up a bottle for their baby boy.
“Don’t wanna be ‘wake, though,” Niall mumbled, not really in a grumpy way, ‘cause being grumpy was mean, but he still kind of wanted to be in bed.
Louis looked up as he twisted the top of the bottle shut, and he couldn’t help but smile at the drowsy baby. “Someone’s a sassy little boy today, isn’t he? Just like his dada.” Louis gestured for Harry to hand the boy over, and they managed to shift him from one daddy to another as seamlessly as possible, considering Louis only had one hand available. Niall usually wrapped his arms around their shoulders, so that helped, that and he didn’t really weigh that much. “Come on, lovey, you’ll wake up after you get some juice in your tummy.”
Niall wasn’t going to argue with that.
Louis had been busy getting his shit pulled together for their flight, so he hadn’t been able to spend as much time with Niall that day. He was the one who usually gave Niall his after-nap bottle, and it was something he had begun to look forward to every day. He hoped they would get to do it at least sometimes during promotions for Four, but he knew it would be hard to find privacy to do stuff like this. All four of them had agreed that they would still do little stuff to reassure Niall that he was always their baby, but they would both just have to cherish this while they could.
They settled down on the couch and Louis allowed Niall to slide into his lap and cuddle up to him before he offered the tip of the bottle, which Niall quickly slid between his lips. Liam insisted that Niall drink organic juice rather than just the normal kind, because there were more nutrients and he claimed the last thing Niall needed was more sugar, but Niall didn’t mind. To be honest, he kind of liked his daddies making sure he ate healthy.
“How’s my sweet boy doing today?” Louis asked after a peaceful moment of silence between them. “Good?” Niall simply nodded, still drinking his apple juice. He made the mistake of verbally responding to Daddy with a mouth full of milk last night and getting it all over himself, but at least he got fussed over after that while Liam cleaned him up. “That’s good,” Louis said, smiling at his baby as he focused on his bottle. “Are you excited for tomorrow?”
Niall hesitated longer this time, but he eventually nodded. He would miss being able to call his daddies his daddies, and he would miss playing with his toys and, even though it was still something he was sheepish about, he would miss being in nappies all the time. Despite that, he loved what they did, and he loved being a part of One Direction, just as much as he loved being the boys’ baby. As much as Niall didn’t like it, he knew he couldn’t always be both.
Louis gave Niall a proud grin and kissed his forehead. “That’s my good boy. We’re so proud of you, baby.” He rocked him gently, and Niall rested his head on his dada’s shoulder, comforted by the motion. “We know you don’t want to be a big boy, but no matter how big you are, you’re still Dada’s baby boy, and that goes for your other daddies too. Got it?”
Niall removed the nipple of the bottle from his mouth and made extra sure there wasn’t any juice that was going to spill out before he said, “Got it, Dada. Love you.”
Louis’ smile only got wider and he blew a raspberry on Niall’s cheek, causing the boy to burst out into laughter. Louis never could keep things serious for too long, but Niall knew that was an ‘I love you too’.
The dummy became another comforting item to Niall, as they kept getting updates about different talk shows and televised performances they would have to do. Their job was stressful, and it always had been, but he had always been able to handle the pressure. And he still could, the dummy just helped a little, that was all.
He knew had to use it in the privacy of his own room, when the others were preoccupied, but it was just a little something that made life seem a little less scary.
Harry, Liam, Louis and Zayn had been planning to go out for the day, some separately and some together, something about getting stuff taken care of before they were supposed to head out of London in a few weeks to begin promoting their album. Trips to certain shops or something like that, Niall hadn’t really paid attention. He just knew he was invited to come along, but he claimed he was tired and wanted to take a nap.
Well, that wasn’t technically a lie. That’s what he planned on doing.
After sliding his jeans off, leaving him in just a black t-shirt and his boxers, Niall peeked through his blinds to watch them leave. When the front door slammed shut and Niall made sure all of his boyfriends had really left, he slid into bed and poked a hand under his pillow. The dummy and plastic keys were waiting there for him, right where he had left them.
He wanted to tell them so badly. As much as he tried to convince himself that his boyfriends would be into it, he was aware of how likely it was that they would just be confused, and maybe even put-off by the idea. They were all into some weird shit, but he knew how weird it would be to change one of your boyfriend’s nappies. Even if he did have the nerve to come clean, how would he even start? ‘Hey lads, wanna be my daddies and wipe my ass and feed me applesauce?’
Actually, coming out as bi to his parents had been more casual than that, but that was beside the point. This was a completely different kind of closet, and Niall wasn’t sure he would ever be completely out.
These moments of comfort he provided for himself in the past couple of days had been the closest he had come.
He tried to push those thoughts aside and allowed himself to suck on the dummy lightly, letting the bobbing plastic soothe him in a way he hadn’t thought was possible. It was too small, as his mouth was clearly bigger than Doris’, but it was enough for him. The Irish lad drifted off not long after that, but the guilt of hiding this side of himself from the four boys he loved still remained in the back of his mind.
Unfortunately, remembering to set his alarm hadn’t also been there in the back of his mind.
Zayn had kept true to his promise and later on, they all had ice cream. Niall wasn’t usually the neatest eater anyway, so it was probably a good thing one of the boys had been feeding him in the past two weeks. Even with Harry spoon feeding him, he still managed to get vanilla ice cream all around his mouth and on his chin. “I think more of that got on you than in you,” Harry joked, kissing the tip of Niall’s nose and standing to rinse the boy’s bowl, as well as his own.
Absentmindedly, Niall rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand and only then did he realize that probably wasn’t the best idea.
Luckily, his daddy had been heading his way with a damp washcloth to clean him with. “Ni-Ni, honey, don’t do that,” Liam chided, though his voice didn’t have any scolding edge to it, as he crouched to wipe his face off. He couldn’t help but smile as he wiped off Niall’s hands too. “I guess I shouldn’t bother. You’ve always been a messy little tyke, and it looks like that hasn’t changed one bit, huh?”
Niall just grinned back and shook his head, earning him a poke in the belly from Liam. Niall hadn’t been changed since that morning, so Liam knew he was due for another sooner or later. He could have already gone for all he knew, but Niall was still so shy, Liam was hesitant to ask if he had gone and not told any of them.
Liam lifted Niall up from the chair and took his place, setting Niall in his lap. He simply cuddled the boy for a moment, just to lull him into a false sense of security. Niall rested his head on his daddy’s shoulder and hummed softly, and Liam took that as his chance. He slid two fingers under Niall's joggers and nappy to check and see if it was dry. It was, but Niall whined and buried his face in Liam's neck regardless.
Liam sighed. "I'm sorry, babe, but we have to check. Your other daddies and I tried to let you tell us when you needed a change, but you kept fibbing to us and then you ended up with a nasty rash."
He could feel his baby shake his head. "It’s 'mbarrassing," Niall mumbled.
This was what he had wanted, and they all knew that, but Liam couldn't bring himself to point that out to him. Niall was too embarrassed about his interest in age play to even tell them about it, so actually doing it was quite the adjustment. He had come a long way in the two weeks they had been doing it, but nappy changes were one of the things he was still bashful about, no matter how many times his boyfriends told him it was okay.
“I know this has been a lot to get used to in such a short time, but it’s our job to take care of you, Niall.” Liam kissed the top of his head and added, “And that includes nappy changes. You haven’t gone potty since this morning. Do you have to go now?”
Niall didn’t say anything. Zayn had been clearing the table off at the time, and even though he wasn’t actively participating in the conversation, he couldn’t help but listen. When he realized Niall wasn’t going to respond, he tapped the boy on the back. “Niall James, you answer Daddy when he asks you something.”
Niall didn’t move his head, but they got a muffled ‘yes’ out of him.
“Okay, thank you for being honest,” Liam said, standing up with Niall in his arms. He began walking to the staircase and quietly murmured in Niall’s ear, “Daddy will take care of you.”
Louis got home right around the time he said he would, maybe a little earlier. He hadn’t had any serious errands to run, unlike the other boys. He had just gone to pick up some new panties for Harry because the pair he had that they all liked so much were literally ripped off the last time he wore them.
They were into some weird shit.
Luckily, if anyone noticed him, they would assume he was shopping for Eleanor. And at least they had the same pair in stock.
“Niall,” Louis called out, wandering toward the staircase when he realized Niall wasn’t anywhere downstairs. “Oi, babe, I got another pair of that lacy little number for Harry.” He shuffled his hand around inside the pink striped shopping bag and walked into their bedroom. “Try not to use your goddamn teeth on these ones, alright?” he asked, expecting to find a grumpy Niall glaring at him for interrupting his nap.
Except there wasn’t one.
“Babe?” Louis called out. He wasn’t in the en suite bathroom either. Maybe he was napping in his own room… But why? Niall hated sleeping in there.
Louis nudged the door open, as it wasn’t completely shut, and almost questioned Niall about why he chose to nap in there. But the sight before him shut him right the hell up.
Niall was sprawled out under his covers, but his right hand was sticking out enough to see the toy keys loosely gripped in them. And if he had missed those, he certainly wouldn’t have missed the dummy bobbing in his mouth. How Niall wasn’t woken up, or even disturbed, by his shouting was lost to him, but he didn’t have time to consider that. He just shut the door as quietly as he could and walked back down the steps.
… What the actual hell was that?
Louis didn’t have to ask where those things came from. He bought those things when his mum had first told him she was pregnant, but he certainly hadn’t bought them for Niall.
Louis honestly didn’t know what to think or what to do, so he did the first thing that came to mind.
He googled ‘why the fuck is my boyfriend sleeping with a dummy’ on his phone.
Niall was laying on the bed, Gracie in his arms and his sweatpants pushed down around his ankles. It had been fairly easy getting him in that position, and he wasn’t crying, like he had been during his first few nappy changes. He had sniffled a bit when he finally used the nappy before Liam laid him down, but some reassuring words and placing Gracie in his arms was all he really needed to calm down.
“It’s okay, baby boy, Daddy’s gonna get you cleaned up real quick.” Liam kissed Niall’s tucked up knee as he began unfastening the nappy and got to work cleaning him up. Niall focused on the skylight above him, burying the bottom half of his face in his plushie’s soft body. “Lift your bum up, please,” Liam told him, and Niall pushed his hips up, allowing Liam to slide a new nappy underneath him. “Thanks, sweetheart.” Liam made sure to gently dust his bottom and privates with powder, and though it had taken Niall some time to get used to the texture, he found he liked it. Then again, he tended to like everything about this new lifestyle that he had been previously unsure about.
Niall took Gracie away from his face and asked, “All done?”
“All done,” Liam echoed back, pulling Niall to his feet before he tugged his joggers back up. “You were such a good boy for Daddy,” Liam said, planting a kiss to his forehead. Niall smiled and allowed Liam to engulf him in his arms. He had been called a ‘good boy’ more in the past two weeks than he had in his entire life, he was pretty sure, but he loved to hear it every time. He loved being a good boy for his daddies and making them proud.
He wasn’t always good, but he craved the praise from when he was.
When Niall had woken up, his eyes lingered to the digital clock, which caused him to literally spit his dummy out in shock. He was supposed to wake up almost an hour ago!
He picked up the dummy and slipped it and his keys under his pillow before he bounded down the stairs to find Harry and Liam watching a show. Okay, they were there, and he could hear Zayn and Louis in the game room, so everyone was home. That meant there was four times the chance he had been caught.
Harry glanced behind the couch to find Niall standing there. “Hey, love, there you are. Have a nice nap?”
All Niall could think to do was nod. Harry and Liam didn’t seem to be acting all that different, so maybe they hadn’t seem him in his… state. “Whatcha watchin’?”
Niall couldn’t even remember what Liam told him. He was just trying to sound as normal as possible and make light conversation before he went to check in on Louis and Zayn and see if they acted any different.
When he finally did manage to make it into the game room, he wasn’t bombarded with questions about why he had been sleeping with some rather strange items. That was a good sign.
Zayn seemed to be the only one playing the game. Louis was lounging next to him on the couch, his head resting on his shoulder. He noticed Niall was standing in the doorway and grinned at him. “Hey, Nialler. Haven’t seen you since we all left. You must have been sleepy.” He motioned for him to join them on the couch and he did so, cuddling into Louis’ side. Louis kissed the crown of his forehead and cuddled him closer. He said they hadn’t seen him since they left, so that must have meant they hadn’t checked on him when they got home and assumed he was still napping.
That didn’t really seem like something they would do, but he was just glad that his secret was safe.
The brown-haired boy cuddling him and planting gentle kisses on him every now and then while Zayn kicked Kirby’s fat pink ass in Smash Bros. was just waiting for the right opportunity to share with his three other boyfriends the information he found out in his surprisingly fruitful Google search.
“Papaaaa,” Niall cried out, waddling over to Harry, who was sitting on the couch with a book.
Harry looked up and said, “Niaaaaall,” in a mockingly whiny tone. He broke out into a grin and dog-eared the page before setting the book down and focusing on the blond boy. “What’s the fuss about, babe?”
“Nothin’,” Niall said, looking down at the case in his hands. “I jus’ wanna watch a movie.” He held up a Blu-Ray of The Lego Movie to his papa. After they had begun age play, the boys realized that Up was the only movie they had that was even remotely family-friendly, so they quickly stocked up on every movie that Niall had asked them for. There had been some ‘girlier’ movies in the mix as well, but his daddies had reassured him that liking those were okay.
“That sounds fun, Ni-Ni,” Harry told him, taking the case from him so he could set it up. “Why don’t you go get your other daddies so we can all watch it together?”
Niall beamed and nodded, remembering the rule against running in the house as he did a quick toddle (which was definitely not running) out of the lounge. He eventually found his daddies in the foyer, checking their bags and making sure everyone had everything. “Zayn, you told us you bought more boxers,” Liam grumbled, zipping his bag back up. “You can’t always borrow ours.”
“Yes, I can,” Zayn said matter-of-factly.
“... Yeah, you can.”
“Daddy, Baba, Dada,” Niall said, getting their attention.
“Yeah, baby?” Zayn asked.
Niall walked over and took Zayn’s hand, yanking on it slightly, “Papa say we watch a movie.”
The three had to resist cooing at Niall’s horrible grammar. “That sounds a lot more fun than talking about the fact that Baba only seems to own two pairs of pants,” Louis told him, taking his other hand and ignoring Zayn’s mock glare. Niall led the two into the lounge, Liam trailing behind them.
“Papa, I got ‘em!” Niall exclaimed, letting go of Dada and Baba’s hands and walking over to Harry, who had gotten the movie set up.
“Good job, love,” Harry encouraged, kissing the center of Niall’s forehead. “I’ll make us some popcorn, how does that sound?”
Niall just nodded and Harry handed the remote to Zayn before making his way into the kitchen.
Louis and Liam had plopped down on the couch by that point, and Liam pat his lap. “You want to sit with Daddy, Ni?”
Louis scoffed, taking Gracie into his hands so Zayn wouldn’t squish her as he sat down where the toy had been. “You don’t want to sit next to him, Nialler. I’m a lot cuddlier than Daddy, and look who I have!” he enthusiastically said, holding Gracie out to him.
Zayn ‘tsk’ed and muttered, “Bribes get you nowhere, Lou.” He gestured for Niall to join him and said, “Come to Baba, love. I don’t think Dada deserves cuddles right now.”
“What about Daddy?” Liam asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Daddy can go sit by himself and complain about Baba’s underwear stock,” Zayn mumbled quietly enough that Niall couldn’t hear.
Niall didn’t give much thought to any of them as he walked over and laid himself out on all their laps. None of them were opposed to his decision.
The day after Louis had discovered Niall’s secret, after they had finished dinner, the lads had planned on doing their own thing. At least, that’s what Niall had planned.
Niall had made some last-minute plans to go hang out with some friends who were in town. Louis in particular seemed glad that he was going to spend the evening out with them, but he also warned Niall to be extra careful. Louis usually did the opposite, but Niall didn’t think much of it. He just wanted a distraction, for the time being. Maybe a nice pint would make him wish he was in a nappy a little less.
After the designated driver picked him up and Niall gave them his goodbyes, Louis knew he had to spit it out, or else he never would.
“Lads,” Louis called out before the others could walk out of the foyer and do whatever each of them had planned on doing. “Can we chat? It’s about Niall.”
That got their attention. “What about him?” Zayn asked. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing’s the matter,” Louis said, and he hoped that after he told them what he found out, that would really be true. “I just think I found out a little secret about him that we should all be aware of.”
“Did you walk in on him talking to that Obama statue he has on that bench in the garden?” Liam asked. “Because that’s not really much of a secret, we’ve all caught him doing it.”
Louis rolled his eyes and nudged Liam in the direction of the lounge. “Not that, you twat. Sit down and let me explain what I think is going on.”
And he did.
Halfway through the movie, Niall had gotten sick of laying down, so he wiggled himself between Liam and Louis, with his own little bowl of popcorn that Harry had made for him, and contently watched the movie. But the salty snack made him really want something to drink, and as much as he hated bothering his daddies, he knew he wasn’t allowed to get stuff from the kitchen himself when he was little. He tugged on the bottom of Liam’s t-shirt and quietly said, “Daddy, ‘m thirsty.”
Liam looked away from the screen and rubbed his hand on Niall’s knee. “What do you want to drink, sweetie?”
Niall looked down at the bit of fabric between his thumb and pointer finger, fiddling with it before glancing back up at Liam with the cutest expression he could muster. “Soda, please?” He hadn’t had any in the past two weeks, so he was hoping he could get some now, at least a little bit.
Liam wasn’t so easily swayed. “Sorry, Ni, soda’s for big boys. You can have water or milk, if you’d like.”
Something deep down inside him wanted to argue, but a tiny part of him, a literally tiny part, loved it. He liked not being allowed to have soft drinks, in a way he didn’t really understand. “Water, please,” Niall murmured, releasing Liam’s t-shirt and focusing his attention back to the flat screen TV.
“Coming right up,” Liam told him, kissing the side of his head before getting up to fill a bottle for him.
Niall snuggled closer to Louis, who very kindly wrapped part of the fuzzy blanket he typically refused to share with the others around him. But Niall was his baby now, and everybody knew their baby needed to be nice and warm.
So maybe not getting soda wasn’t all that bad.
Niall had ordered one pint while at the bar, and he had only drunk half of it, at the most. He hadn’t even gotten buzzed.
He just hadn’t felt like drinking, despite how hard he made himself try, and he knew exactly why. He couldn’t tell his buddies what was really up, that’s for sure. He texted Harry, the first of his boyfriends in his contact list, that he was going to be home a little earlier. He had just told his friends he wasn’t feeling well. It wasn’t a complete lie.
After being dropped off, he made his way into the house and didn’t bother to take his shoes off as he wandered around. “Lads? Y’here?”
“Ni, babe, can you come up here?” Liam called out. He sounded like he was coming from upstairs, so that’s where Niall went. He found them standing in their bedroom, just standing, which was an odd sight in itself. Usually by that point in the night, they either put on more comfy clothes or just took clothing out of the picture completely, but they were all still dressed the way they had been when he left.
They looked so… serious. Nervous, almost. He had only been gone for a few hours, what the hell had happened while he was out?
“Hey,” Niall breathed out, trying to pretend like he couldn’t tell something was up as he kissed every one of them. None of them could taste alcohol on him, so they knew he wasn’t drunk. That would hopefully make what they were about to do easier. “What’s up?”
“We wanted to talk, honey,” Harry gently said. Honey? That was a new nickname. “Can you sit down for us?”
Instead of answering, Niall simply did so, sitting on the edge of their bed. “Wh-What’s going on?” His boyfriends stood in front of him, and he got a feeling of deja vu from when his dad sat him down and had a Very Serious Talk with him about the birds and the bees, except he knew that that couldn’t be what they were going to talk to him about, because they all knew he was very experienced in that department.
“It’s nothing bad,” Liam reassured. “And we don’t want you to feel embarrassed or bad about this, so just hear us out.”
Niall felt his stomach drop, and he hoped it was anything other than what he thought it was.
“Babe,” Louis started, hands behind his back, “when I came home the other day, when you had stayed home to have a nap, I went to check on you.” No no no. “And I, uh, I found you sleeping with these.” He brought his hands out, revealing the toy keys looped onto his left pointer finger and the small handle of the dummy around his right. Fuck fuck fuck.
“Oh, that?” Niall scoffed and waved his hand in a dismissing manner. “I just did that as… as a joke, like if you, y’know, walked in.”
Louis sighed and quietly said, “I don’t think it was a joke, Niall. Do you know what I think it was?” Niall didn’t know what to answer, so he didn’t. Louis still continued. “I did some research, and it seems to me like you might have an interest in age play.” Just hearing those words together brought tears to Niall’s eyes. No. They weren’t supposed to know! They were never supposed to know!
Zayn nodded and said, “Now, Louis told us about the stuff he found, and we all looked into it too-”
“Nooooooo, no no nooooo,” Niall’s moans interrupted him. “Oh my fucking God.” He grabbed clumps of hair and tugged on them, refusing to look any of them in the eye.
His boyfriends exchanged glances. Louis had mentioned the unlikely chance that he was wrong about Niall being into age play, but they all knew he wouldn’t be reacting like this if they weren’t right. They weren’t expecting him to be on the brink of a panic attack, though.
“Ni, don’t do that,” Harry pleaded, taking the hands Niall was gripping his hair with, which Niall snatched back in an uncharacteristically rough way, and added, “We’re not bringing this up to make fun of you or anything.” They had planned out how they were going to discuss this, but in all honesty, they had forgotten what they were going to say. Now that it was happening, and Niall was taking it even worse than they had ever thought, they were completely blanking on what to say to him to make the situation better.
“This isn’t happeniiiiing,” Niall groaned, clutching his head.
“This isn’t a bad thing, babe,” Louis told him, though he wasn’t sure he was really listening at that point. “We-”
“I’m not a freak!” Niall cried.
“No one’s saying that you are,” Liam tried to tell him.
“You’re thinking it, though, I know it!”
Zayn tried to step closer to him. “Niall, love, calm do-”
“No!” Niall shouted, jerking away even though Zayn hadn’t touched him. “No, I won’t!” He instantly realized how childish he sounded, and that certainly didn’t calm him down any. “I-I can’t be-believe...” Niall could feel tears pooling in his eyes, and he resisted them with every ounce of strength he had left. They already knew he wanted to be a baby, but he didn’t want to act like it in front of them. “I tried so- I ne-never wanted y-you to-”
“Niall!” Liam called out. “Ni, come back!”
He hadn’t even realized he had gotten up and started leaving. He was overwhelmed. He couldn’t be around them right now, not with the knowledge that they had figured him out. They knew, and now everything would change. Niall couldn’t stand the thought of it, his boyfriends knowing his secret. He was sure if he stood there any longer, the emotions whirling through his body would cause his heart to explode.
He needed to get out of there.
Niall made his way down the steps, and he could hear the mixture of his lovers’ voices and their footsteps following after him. He knew they weren’t going to leave him alone for a walk, so he did the first thing that came to mind.
He ran.
He ran down the steps. He ran out the door. He ran through the garden and past the gate. He ran down the pavement.
He ran away from his boyfriends.
He ran away from those dinky toy keys and that silly little dummy.
He couldn’t run forever, and he knew that.
But running made him feel less like his world was crashing down around him.
“Food’s here!” Liam called out as he shut the front door. After the movie had ended, the four daddies really didn’t feel like rooting through their very limited supply of food to make a proper meal, so they decided to order Chinese food. At least then, they could order some vegetables and pretend like they were giving their baby something healthy. Liam had called one of their bodyguards and asked him to pick it up and bring it there for them, since they didn’t really trust delivery guys. He offered the guard quite a bonus for it, so he didn’t seem to mind having to leave his home in the middle of the night at all.
They had been keeping Niall distracted with Legos while waiting for their food, since the movie seemed to inspire him. Zayn, Louis and Harry had no idea what Niall was trying to build, but they were apparently helping by sticking blocks in random places. Niall seemed to think whatever the hell they were making was good, and that was all they cared about.
But Niall was super hungry, so when he heard Daddy stomp back in and go to the kitchen, their creation was the last thing on his mind.
“Food!” Niall squealed, jumping up onto his feet so he could run to the kitchen.
Harry had other plans. “Ni,” he said, taking his hand before he could bolt, which he could tell he was planning on doing. “You know you shouldn’t run, pumpkin. The food will still be there if you walk.”
Louis and Zayn went into the kitchen to help Liam put their orders on plates, leaving Niall there with Harry. They were wasting time! “Bu-But, Papa-”
“Niall,” Harry cut it, standing up and looking into Niall’s eyes, still holding his hand. “We’ve had a very nice day, and I’d like us all to have a nice night too, but if you aren’t going to listen to Papa, you can have a timeout before your dinner.”
Niall’s bottom lip poked out in a perfect pout. They were having a good time… He didn’t want to ruin that, not now.
“Sorry, Papa,” Niall quietly apologized, rubbing the heel of his sock-clad foot against the hardwood floors. “Didn’t mean t’not listen.”
Harry’s stern glance faded and he lifted Niall into his arms, carrying him to the dining room. “It’s alright, baby, you’re just excited, aren’t you?”
“Mmhmm,” he murmured into Harry’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around the younger man’s neck. A part of him knew it was a little weird that someone younger than him was acting like a daddy to him, but like everything else they had taken on, it just seemed right.
Harry nodded, patting Niall’s bum with the hand protectively cradling it. “We just don’t want you to get hurt, Ni-Ni.”
All running had done was make him feel even more hurt than he had before.
Niall ended up at the curb of one of their neighbor’s houses on the opposite end of the block, his feet tired from the running. The houses themselves in their neighborhood were quite far from the actual pavement, so luckily he wouldn’t disturb the people in the home with his pathetic sobs. Or maybe he could have, he was being rather loud.
But at that moment, he couldn’t have cared less about anything.
It had rained a while ago and, while it had stopped before he ended up out there, the dark, gloomy appearance outside matched how he felt perfectly. What was he going to do? They knew, holy fuck, they knew. Louis could have easily just pretended he didn’t see anything and Niall could have lived his life in ignorant bliss, but no, he had to go tell the others and now they knew too. They knew about more than just the stupid dummy, they knew about age play too. Out of all the weird shit they were into, Niall knew age play was never one of them, so they had to have done some research about that. He was still upset and he could hardly think straight, but he still vaguely wondered why Louis looked into it instead of just thinking he was a fucking freak and leaving it at that.
Having not noticed the puddle of rainwater on the ground, Niall had ended up sitting in it and splashing it all over himself. The wet patch on the seat and front of his trousers made it look like he had pissed himself, but with the way he was acting, he might as well have.
Niall could feel his phone vibrating non-stop in his jacket pocket, but he couldn’t bring himself to answer or even acknowledge any of the calls or texts. He suddenly felt really silly for running away from home, like he had when he was five and got in trouble with his mum and he thought she didn’t love him anymore. Where he had ended up wasn’t all that far away, in the grand scheme of things, even if their house was on the direct opposite end of the neighborhood. He would at least have some time to calm down. The Irishman was still crying like a little boy who dropped his ice cream cone, but at least the feeling of panic seemed to have melted away.
The only source of light was coming from the post Niall had sat directly under, until headlights became visible in the distance. Niall recognized the car as one of Harry’s, and Louis hanging out of the passenger’s seat window confirmed it. “Niall! Harry, stop, we found him!” Niall let out a wail and scrubbed at his eyes with his fists, but in all honesty, he was glad they had found him. He was starting to get scared out there by himself, even if he was still humiliated.
Harry didn’t even bother to turn off the car or the lights when he parked, and the band began to pile out and make their way over to where Niall had plopped himself down. Niall was still crying like a baby, barely putting up a struggle when Harry tucked his hands under his armpits and pulled him to his feet. Harry wrapped his arms around the blond and practically suffocated Niall with his partially exposed chest, allowing his boyfriend to cover one of his sparrow tattoos with tears and who knows what else.
“Niall,” Harry whispered, while Zayn rubbed his back and soothingly shushed the crying boy. “It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.”
For the first time that night, Niall kind of believed that.
Niall finally managed to calm down, at least enough that his breathing was regular and he wasn’t vocally crying. He sniffled and looked up at Harry, who gave him a sad smile. He took his hand off Niall’s back to slip off the headscarf he had used to tie his hair back and bunched it up as if it were nothing, even though Niall was pretty sure it cost more than most people spend on groceries for a month. Harry gently wiped Niall’s teary cheeks with it, then placed it in front of Niall’s nose and simply said, “Blow.”
“Harry, I’m not-”
“Blow,” Harry told him with a bit more firmness in his voice. Not wanting to argue with that tone, he did as he was told, cringing when Harry pinched his nose with it afterwards. The curly haired boy pat Niall on the cheek and tossed the scarf in their neighbor’s bin. He certainly wasn’t going to put it back on after that.
After a bit more silent support from Zayn, which was his specialty, it was Liam’s turn. He pulled Niall close and refused to let go, as if he was worried he would run off again. “Oh, Niall,” Liam breathed out, one hand holding onto the small of his back and the other cradling the back of his head. “Baby, we were so worried.” Liam usually called his boyfriends ‘babe’, but not ‘baby’. Niall didn’t really think much of it at the time.
Before Niall knew it, he was being engulfed by another pair of arms, more heavily tattooed than Liam’s. “Thank God,” Louis sighed into his blonde boyfriend’s neck. “We ‘bout lost our fuckin’ minds trying to look for you.”
Niall cringed in guilt. “Louis, I’m-” A loud smack interrupted him and when he finally felt the pain on his ass, he realized that Louis had swatted him. Not a cheeky swat, or a sexy swat, it was like... a swat you gave a toddler for misbehaving. Niall was both confused and stunned, but thankfully Louis started talking again before he could ask what the hell that was about.
“Niall James Horan, don’t you ever scare us like that again! That was a very naughty thing to do!” Louis scolded after pulling Niall away at arm’s length to look into his eyes. Louis Tomlinson was scolding him. The shift in his language was so abrupt, from swearing to scolding, Niall couldn’t help but notice, more than he did Liam’s subtle pet name. Louis was treating him like a child. Then again, he was kind of acting like one.
A part of Niall felt like they were mocking him, but a bigger part knew they wouldn’t do that, especially after they saw how upset he had been when they found out. A really big part of him, however, just wanted to cry because Louis looked mad and that swat bloody hurt.
“You’re lucky I don’t pull you over my knee right now, mister,” Louis reprimanded, his grip on Niall’s forearms tightening. He wasn’t gripping hard enough to really hurt, but he was very firm. “We have a lot to discuss.”
Harry stepped in besides Niall, rubbing a comforting hand up and down his back. “Lou, the last thing he needs right now is a spanking.” Since when did he get punished? And with spankings? “I think we can let him off the hook, just this once. This is kind of a… kind of a special circumstance.”
Louis took a quick breath and released Niall’s arms. “We do still need to have a little chat. We can all agree on that.”
“And I think we can also agree we shouldn’t run away during said chat,” Zayn piped in, not exactly in a stern tone of voice, but it certainly made Niall feel about two feet tall. In a good way, a little bit. He was still very confused and tired and his bum cheek stung.
He let Zayn help him into the backseat of the car and didn’t say a word on the drive back. He had a feeling he was going to do a lot of talking when they got home.
Zayn took it upon himself to cut up some of Niall’s sweet and sour chicken, and the broccoli Harry had ordered for him. The others had begun eating already and made small conversation about upcoming events. He was kind of hungry himself, but he wanted to get Niall taken care of first. “Looks good, huh, babe?”
Niall took a drink of the bottle Liam had refilled with water for him and nodded. “Mmhmm.”
“Do you want Baba to feed you, or do you want to eat like a big boy?” Zayn asked, holding out a plastic fork with a small piece of broccoli on it. Niall hadn’t even held a fork in the past two weeks and while Zayn was more than happy to feed him, he wasn’t sure if Niall would want to get back into the swing of feeding himself. He realized it was silly to be worried about whether or not Niall would be able to feed himself, since the boy clearly never had trouble eating before, but it was his job as Niall’s boyfriend to worry about him, and it was also his job as one of Niall’s daddies to worry about him even more.
Niall stared at the vegetable and simply said, “I hafta be a big boy tomorrow,” before opening his mouth.
Zayn smiled at his little goof before bringing the choo choo into the station that was Niall’s mouth.
It was… weird talking about it so openly. Niall was expecting one of them to stand up in the middle of him talking and scream ‘EW’ and jump out the window, but they were very attentive to him. He talked about being taken care of, and talked about the comfort, and the softness, and… and it suddenly didn’t seem so scary. They nodded at the right times, but they didn’t interrupt when he explained his feelings and let him work through what he wanted to tell them.
When Niall didn’t seem like he knew what else to say, Zayn sat down next to him on the bed and quietly said, “Thank you for telling us, babe. We know this was hard for you.”
Niall nodded, looking down at his lap. Hearing the word ‘hard’ made him remember another point he wanted to bring up. “It’s not like… a sex thing, before you start trying to get me to suck on your nipples during foreplay or anything.”
“You do that anyway,” Louis muttered, earning a smack on the back of the head from Liam. He barely flinched. He was practically immune to those, at that point.
“Only because you like it,” Liam rebutted, looking back at Niall. “Keep going.”
“I mean…” Niall shrugged, looking around the room to avoid eye contact. “That’s all, I guess. I know it’s dumb and gross, so like you guys don’t have to do it or anything-”
“Niall,” Louis interrupted, crouching in front of him. “You did a very good job talking to us, but I think we should do some talking right now, alright?” Niall just nodded in response. “We were expecting you to be gone all night, so we would have more time to prepare what we were going to do…” Louis shrugged and sarcastically muttered, “Which is why things went so well when you came home early,” but quickly looked back up at Niall and added, “But once I showed the boys some of the websites I found and we talked about everything… We would all like it too.”
Louis could have told Niall he was pregnant and it would have made more sense to him than that. “Wh-What?” Did he really just say what he thought he said?
Liam crouched down next to Louis and said, “We’d like to be your daddies. If you want us to be.” The websites had all talked about ‘caregivers’ and they assumed Niall would want that aspect of infantilism incorporated into his life, as well. And though there was some brief hesitation, more out of fear of how it would work with their busy schedules, all four of them had been on board with the idea after some planning.
“I… I, uh.” Niall could feel tears in his eyes, but they weren’t the sad ones from before. “I, I couldn’t ask you lads to do that for me.”
“You didn’t ask,” Harry reminded him. “You practically ran away from home when we even brought it up the first time.”
Niall huffed. The others resisted smiling at the fact that he was already starting to act younger. “You know what I mean. It’d be selfish to ask that, and I’m sure you’re just offering to make me feel better.”
“Babe, you know us better than that.” Harry told him, sitting on the side of him that wasn’t occupied by Zayn. “Would any of us, especially Louis, offer to do something we really didn’t want to?”
Louis rolled his eyes at being singled out, but it seemed to get the point across to Niall, so he couldn’t be too mad. “I-I guess not. But it’s just…” He sheepishly shrugged. “I dunno. It’s a lot to ask.”
“To be honest, we already kind of baby you,” Liam said, taking Niall’s hand and rubbing his thumb across the back of it. “We just haven’t gone as far as putting you in nappies.”
Zayn noticed how red Niall got when Liam brought up nappies. One of the pages Louis had bookmarked for them on his laptop mentioned that age play wasn’t exclusively about being a baby. He could have been interested in having the headspace of a bigger toddler, so he decided to ask, “Do you not want nappies? We can do all the research we want, but that won’t tell us what you want to do. You probably know more about this stuff anyway, so if there are certain things you want or don’t want, please tell us.”
He almost wanted to tell them no to avoid even more embarrassment, but he had already embarrassed himself enough that night, so he might as well add some more, since it seemed like it was going to work out in his favor after all. “N-No, I… I do want nappies. I just didn’t know if that’d be too much for you guys. ‘cause… y’know, I’d like… and I’d also… y’know.”
“Niall,” Louis sighed, giving him a look. A look he imagined he was going to give Niall a lot more if he was going to be one of his daddies. “We’ve all given you rimjobs before. What, you think we’ll eat your ass but we won’t wipe it?”
“Louis, don’t swear in front of the baby,” Harry scolded, smacking him in the shoulder.
Niall’s stomach did flip-flops at being referred to as ‘the baby’ but he loved the feeling. It just registered in his mind that this was actually happening, and they were actually going to do this. They wanted to do this. He started crying again, but it was out of happiness and relief.
“Thank you,” Niall blurted out, rubbing at his wet eyes with the palms of his hands. “Thank you so much.”
He hadn’t technically said yes to their offer, but that was all the confirmation they needed.
Bathtime had quickly become one of Niall’s favorite and least favorite times of the day. He got to play with all kinds of bath toys and got lots of extra attention from his daddies. But that also meant lots of extra nude attention from his daddies, and while Big Niall really liked that, Little Niall still didn’t like getting his privates washed for him. Thankfully, they had gotten him enough bath toys to distract him from that. For the most part.
Making tiny propeller noises as he moved his toy boat around, Niall just barely passed Louis and Liam’s boats at the unofficial finish line (which was one of Niall’s feet). “He beat us again!” Louis overdramatically exclaimed, flopping away from the edge of the bath and nearly knocking Harry over while he was diligently washing Niall’s hair. “I’m telling you, he’s a little cheat!”
Liam merely shrugged and said, “It’s not Niall’s fault he’s better than us,” as he gave Niall’s tummy a small tickle. Waiting for Niall’s giggling and wriggling to cease so he wouldn’t get shampoo in his eyes, Harry shook his head at his silly boyfriends and tipped Niall back so he could rinse his hair out.
Zayn, who was on washcloth duty for the night, soaped said washcloth up and began cleaning places Niall would have been all for him touching a few weeks ago, but not so much now. Niall whined, which was basically his go-to noise of protest as Little Niall, and abandoned his toys to cover his eyes with his hands.
“Come on, monkey, don’t do that,” Zayn said as he finished up as quickly as possible. “Baba has to get his little boy clean. You’ve had a busy day, haven’t you?” Niall nodded but refused to uncover himself. It was rather endearing, on their end. Their loud, excitable boyfriend who had no shame had become this shy, but precious little boy, and as bad as it sounded, it was adorable when he got flustered over the silliest thing. And for some reason, Niall liked getting flustered over tiny things like that, at least a little bit.
He was just adorable doing anything, and he always had been. This was a different kind of adorable, one they wish they had been able to witness earlier.
At least they got to make up for lost time.
“What about this one?”
“No. Too small.”
“This one?”
“No. That one’s blue.”
“What’s wrong with blue?”
“I wanted one that wasn’t blue.”
“What color do you want?”
“Not blue.”
Louis felt like he was supposed to be angry at Niall’s stubbornness, but he honestly just wanted to laugh at how ridiculous he was being over a stuffed animal. Then again, they had had a very long night, and they were in an Asda at three in the morning with a cart full of adult nappies, some toys, and bottles and dummies that would hopefully be big enough for Niall’s adult-sized mouth, which he would have found even more ridiculous three days ago.
Niall had gone into detail of what he wanted to do with this new way of life and what he didn’t, so the things they needed and the things they didn’t need were fresh in their minds. The journey out to get the supplies had been because they wanted to be able to start right away, and none of them had been able to sleep anyway. That, and not many teenage girls who would stir up a fuss were out in the middle of the night.
All that was left that Niall had requested was a stuffed animal. He didn’t have a particular kind in mind, but he wanted one that would make him feel… smaller. The problem was, the stuffed animals he had seen so far were the perfect size for, y’know, an actual child, so they just made him feel like a giant.
“We don’t have to get it here, sweetheart,” Zayn told him, placing a hand on the small of Niall’s back as his eyes gazed over the shelves of plushies. “We can wait until tomorrow and find it somewhere else.”
He wanted to stomp his foot and say ‘No, Baba, I want it NOW’ but he wasn’t quite ready to call the boys by the names the boys had bickered over during the car ride there. That, and they were nice enough to go out in the middle of the night to get this stuff for him, so he didn’t want to throw a tantrum and make them regret starting this. He merely sighed and was about to agree with Zayn until his eyes fell on a stuffed giraffe that was on the bottom shelf he hadn’t even noticed. He grabbed for it by one of its legs and held it up. The giraffe was slightly bigger than the other plush animals the store had available, but it wasn’t one of the ridiculous jumbo ones that the boys absolutely refused to let him have (“Two of us would have to sleep on the floor, Niall”). It was perfect.
He hugged the plushie to his body and looked up at his boyfriends with a smile. “Can I have this one?”
“Of course you can, silly boy,” Harry told him, booping him on the nose. “What’s your new friend’s name going to be?”
Niall peered down at the plushie, still gripping onto it for dear life. The others were going to have to pry the toy out of his hands in order to pay for it. “Gracie,” he said after a moment of contemplation. He looked up at his new daddies, as if waiting for their approval, and that was exactly what he got.
“That’s a lovely name, sweetheart,” Liam told him, rubbing his arm lovingly. “What do you say that we get everything checked out so you and Gracie can cuddle with us back home?”
Niall was really sleepy, so he obviously nodded.
He knew Gracie was just a toy, but she was probably sleepy too. He could tell.
Niall wasn’t all that interested in dressing like an actual baby, and he wasn’t sure if he ever would be. For the most part, he still wore the clothes Big Niall wore, but the boys knew he was still their baby no matter how he dressed.
However, there was one thing in particular Niall liked to wear in his headspace.
Niall had admitted to his boyfriends that even though he wasn’t wanting to be dressed in Garanimals or anything, he did really enjoy onesie pajamas. They had a few they had collected from weird photoshoots over the years, and Niall had worn them around the house before The Confession, but his lovers just thought he was being his usual silly self. After The Confession, however, the boys may have gotten a few for him online.
If a few translated to seventeen.
And counting. Harry really needed to stop browsing Amazon before bed.
Niall certainly wasn’t complaining. They made him feel warm and safe and cuddly all over, especially if they were the footie kind. Or the costume kind that made him look like different animals! Those were the best, in his opinion. Being the baby was great, but being a cute little baby froggy or a baby dinosaur or even a baby giraffe like Gracie was even better.
His boyfriends couldn’t deny that seeing Niall sitting cross-legged on the floor playing with his toy cars in a hooded onesie that made him look like a penguin was probably the cutest thing imaginable.
All four of Niall’s daddies crouched down next to him. They hated to end the day, but at least they could end it on a good note. Niall looked up at them knowingly, and only when they had his attention did Zayn start talking. “Okay, baby, we let you play with your cars a little bit more just like we promised. But it’s getting late and we have to get up pretty early tomorrow. It’s time for bed.”
Niall’s little lips tucked into a frown, and a small sniffle let them know tears were coming on. “Oh, sweetie, no, please don’t cry,” Harry pleaded, taking his hand and giving it a loving squeeze. “We’ve talked about this, remember? You’re going to have to be a big boy a lot, but even big boys have daddies, alright? That’s not going to change.”
Niall pitifully nodded, and it didn’t look like he was going to cry anymore, but he was still sniffling.
“We should all get some rest,” Liam told them as he stood back up. “The last thing I need to deal with tomorrow is four grouchy babies.”
Louis stuck his tongue out at Liam before looking back at Niall, putting on a happy face for him and poking him in his tummy. “If it’ll give us a little more time with our little penguin, I’m in.”
Niall weakly smiled, allowing Zayn to lift him up and place him in the middle of the bed. They had discussed getting him a crib and converting his bedroom into a nursery, but that was another thing he hadn’t really wanted. He didn’t want to be so far away from the others, especially at night. Besides, putting a claustrophobic person in something that was basically a cage didn’t seem like the best idea to anyone. Being crammed between his boyfriends was different.
Liam, Zayn and Louis were already dressed in their pajamas (Harry just slept in his underwear, and he was an expert at stripping down in little to no time at all). They made themselves comfortable and exchanged kisses before shutting off the lights and allowing themselves to enjoy the stillness of the night. They knew they weren’t going to get that feeling for a while.
Gracie had miraculously ended up in Niall’s arms at some point, but he wasn’t complaining. His boyfriends took care of him, just like they always had.
But things were different now. And despite what Niall had feared for as long as he could remember, it was for the better.