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Where did everything begin to change?
"Mikasa," Eren says as he looks at the distance, eyes indecipherable. "Why do you care so much about me?"
The raven-haired girl can't help but feel warmth spread throughout her cheeks, tickles of sweat running through the back of her head. "Where is this coming from?"
But he doesn't respond, instead, continues, "Is it because I saved you when we were kids," he heaves a sigh, "Or, because we are family?"
Indeed, why?
With her usual stoic expression gone, ashen orbs meet his expectant emerald ones.
"We're family," is her brief reply before their Captain calls for their attention.
When was I not enough any longer?
"Humanity's last hope and the Queen," Zeke suggests, "Sounds perfect, aren't they?"
Her heart shatters into pieces, trying her hardest to contain her emotion. But she can feel her knees shiver, good thing they are seated, and she feels Armin's worried grip on her left arm. She succeeds in keeping her indifferent expression but fights to hold back the imminent tears threatening to crash down.
Mikasa feels Eren's resolute emerald eyes glimpse at her before she hears him say, "I will marry Historia and produce heirs. That should solve the problem, right?"
Mikasa's body shakes from an intense sensation she could not identify, but as she is Mikasa Ackerman, she holds back her nearly-bursting expression. Even though she knows Armin and the captain could feel her trembling, probably.
Suddenly, swallowing is hard, and she has lost her superhuman strength.
Why didn't you tell me from the start?
"It is not your duty to do that." Historia objects, guilt seeping through her words as she glances at Mikasa. The blond knows – Mikasa is hurt, she might not be the nice Christa any longer, but Mikasa is still her friend.
"I am not doing it out of duty, I want to do it because I want to protect you."
The room is enveloped with deafening silence.
"So, that settles it?" Zeke once again voices out.
"Why do we have to listen to your stupid idea, Zeke scum?" Levi coldly hisses, sending shivers down Zeke's spine.
And for a moment, Mikasa's world stops spinning. Before the dam holding back her waterworks collapse, an elbow smashes against her face, enough to make her nose bleed.
"Ackerman," her Captain's voice utters beside her, unremorseful, "My elbow slipped." Lidded gray eyes meet ocean blue orbs, "Armin, bring her to the infirmary."
I'm the one you need, but not the one you love.
Holding a pack of ice against her nose, she silently sits in the quiet infirmary. Her heart in shambles, she doesn't really know how to deal with her feelings anymore. She doesn't even know what to call it. All she knows right now is that it hurts, more than the injuries brought about by rampaging 15-meter class titans trying to swat her like a fly in the air.
The door slides open, and she doesn't bother to look back, she recognizes his footsteps as the intruder closes their distance.
"Did I hit you too hard that you skipped the mess?" His cold voice kind of soothes her ears, she must be losing her mind.
"Thank you," was her curt reply, totally unrelated to the topic he brings up. It has been half a day and from the noise she hears outside, the meeting must have been over.
He acknowledges with a sigh, and Mikasa fights the urge to drag her blurry vision and meet her Captain's sharp orbs.
"Cry, but never show pigs your tears." Levi mutters, his voice unexpectedly soft and comforting.
And she lets it out and wails as she hears the lock click.
Where did my love lack?
"Mikasa doesn't deserve this, Eren!" Armin whispers, his eyes full of rage. Last night, he finds himself hearing Mikasa's cry as he waits outside the infirmary door, holding a tray of food in hand. "You know exactly how she feels about you." He places his untouched tray of food over the conveyor.
"And you know exactly how I feel too, Armin!" Eren bellows back, his voice a bit louder than it should be. "I don't feel the same–"
Even before the titan shifter can continue, his jaw clashes with a tightened fist, belonging to one of his squad mates.
"You, runt!" Jean cries out as he smashes his face with punches of wrath.
And surprisingly, Eren doesn't fight back. He allows him to beat him up, because he knows – he deserves it.
Because Mikasa's fault here is that she is an Ackerman – and not a royal blood.
I gave everything just to make you smile.
Jean finds himself tackled on the ground, and the receiver of Mikasa's dangerous blows. But even before her fist lands against his jaw, which for sure would finish Jean immediately, given her excellent combative skills, their Captain is quick to grab her off him.
"You, brats!" Levi barks, anger evident in his tone, as he holds Mikasa close who is trying to reach Jean. "What the fuck are you all doing?"
Armin scurries by Eren's side, he is conscious, but he doesn't move. Jean sits up, wiping his bloody lips with the back of his hand. Soldiers from different squads watch like they are watching a movie, Connie and Sasha's mouths are left agape as they witness the scenes that just occurred.
"See, Jean. She is that kind of girl," Eren breaks the deafening silence with a poisonous screech as he pushes himself up, refusing Armin's help, "Mikasa will always come to my rescue, no matter how sick I am with her. She is that kind of girl, she breathes for me, she lives for me and if I ask her to eat shit, she will."
Mikasa's body trembles terribly, and she feels her butt kiss the ground as their Captain vanishes, and even before she can collect herself, she finds Levi towering over her adoptive brother to beat him all over again. And she finds herself being restrained by Jean and Sasha.
He deserves it.
Why didn't I realize that you don't want me anymore?
She stares at the ceiling, eyes lifeless, body numb, heart in shatters. The three of them – Jean, Eren and her are currently being punished for starting a brawl in the mess hall.
Mikasa feels hopeless and unconsciously, she pulls the red scarf covering her neck. She wants to at least talk to Eren. He did not mean that, right. He is not sick of her, isn't he? But she isn't sure anymore. She wants to hear it straight, directed to her and not Jean. And maybe, she will be able to accept it. That her adoptive brother, as much as she hates to admit it openly, doesn't want her any longer by his side. Because he doesn't need her protection anymore.
"Mikasa," She hears Armin's voice, but she doesn't bother to look. She knows her blond friend is there, staring at her worriedly. "Eren is now okay. He is recovering. I thought you'd want to know."
The raven-haired girl pushes herself up and sits, "I'm fine, Armin." She throws the red scarf to her blond friend, who manages to catch it despite the iron cells separating them from each other. "I suppose Eren was right, if he asks me to eat shit, I will. Just to keep him safe. I just want to be by Eren's side, Armin."
Armin's brows burrows together, hesitantly, he looks at his right side before he faces her again, "You and Eren should talk this out, Mikasa."
I'm the one you're with, but you long for another.
Days passed by, but her heart still aches. Right after their detention, she didn't get the chance to talk to her adoptive brother as Commander Hange gave him a special assignment. It was said to be confidential. But she knows exactly who to go if she wants to know more about how safe this special assignment is.
She knocks gently. Mikasa hears an irritated grunt before he speaks, "Come in."
Opening the door, she finds their Captain's nose buried in a pile of paperwork. And for a moment, she contemplates if she should disturb him or not.
"Talk. Ackerman," he frowns, not bothering to even give her a glance.
She respects him, maybe not as much as how Eren does, but she still does. And not a lot of people are bestowed respect from Mikasa. "I want to know where Eren went."
The sound of his pen scribbling against the paper halts, but he still doesn't look at her. He answers her with silence, and it took a minute before the raven-haired girl figures that out.
"Captain, I just want to know if he is safe."
And he sighs a long one. "You haven't given up."
And if you're happy in another's arms, I will stop pursuing.
"Will talking to him be enough for you?" her Captain's eyes finally meet hers. But Mikasa is sure, there is something different in the way he looks at her this time.
"Yes, Captain." She barks in confidence. "And I will not cry in front of pigs from now on."
It feels forever as they stare at each other's eyes, and Mikasa kind of squirm at the sharpness of his scrutinizing gaze. But she is Mikasa Ackerman, so she accepts the staring challenge openly, albeit awkward as she still blinks, because her eyes burn every time she remembers Eren.
He drops his eyes, first to give up, Mikasa almost jumps as this is the first time she accomplishes victory against the Humanity's strongest soldier – even in the single form of staring challenge.
"Close the door," he orders, and Mikasa is quick to comply. "We'll leave once I'm done."
My only wish is for you not to get hurt and cry.
Mikasa stares at her Captain's back, confused at how and why things ended up this way. She sits still behind humanity's strongest soldier as his horse gallops through the dark woods, she identifies the path to be leading to the palace indeed.
Levi brings only one horse, he says it is a waste of resource if she brings her horse along. They will not stay long so it shouldn't be a problem. She just needs to talk to Eren, and she better make it quick – because it is not everyday that the Captain is in the mood to tolerate her antiques. She promises, and Levi could only sigh in defeat.
It is times like this that her respect for the Captain escalates to a height she cannot fathom.
Where did the truth end?
Historia stares at Eren's back, his mind obviously elsewhere. "Eren," she calls out.
Eren turns to look at the blond girl, "I'm sure about this, Historia." He confesses, "I have to let Mikasa go, I apologize if you feel like I am using you. I don't intend to. It's just that, I love Mikasa and I don't want her to be imprisoned in my world. I want her to be free as well."
Historia inhales, "Surely, this will hurt Mikasa."
Eren lets out a small smile not quite reaching his eyes, grabbing the queen's right hand as he kneels down, "This might hurt her now, but not in the long run. So, help me, your Highness."
Every time you say you love me.
Mikasa silently sits and waits as instructed by her tolerant captain. Hange sits on the opposite side of the table as she talks non-stop, annoying Levi in the process. And when the door opened, Eren did not seem to be surprised.
"I knew you're coming." He starts, and Hange stands as well as Levi. But Eren continues, "Please Captain Levi and Commander Hange, stay and hear us out."
Hange sits automatically while Levi continues to walk off, "I don't take orders from–"
"Captain, please stay." Mikasa's soft voice cuts him off.
The surprise in Levi's face did not go unnoticed by Hange even though as soon as it came, it vanished. "Why do we have to listen to these brats' shitty crisis–"
But Mikasa's trembling hand grasps his sleeve, and he feels the need to stay. Eren clenches his jaw unconsciously. "What is it you want to say, Mikasa?" the titan-shifter asks, emerald eyes still glued at her hand gripping on their captain's sleeve.
"I want to apologize, for not making everything clear. You are my only family left, that is why I wanted to protect you. Even if it cost me my life. If you ask me to eat shit, I will, as you've said, if that will guarantee your safety. It never crossed my mind that I had choked you with my overprotectiveness, because I thought we were always on the same page. I thought you understood." Her grip on their captain's sleeve tightens. "And if Historia will make you happy, I will wholeheartedly cheer for you."
"I will," Historia speaks in all determination as she enters the hall, "I will, Mikasa, I promise."
And for the first time in forever, a sincere smile creeped across Mikasa's face. It made everyone's heart drop, it is supposed to be a smile – indicating that everything ended up well – but everyone can feel the pain. The raven-haired girl stands, "Thank you, and please, take care of Eren."
Mikasa tugs her captain's sleeve, and at that moment, she feels like the older Ackerman understood. "Time's up."
And with that, they left – and the room is enveloped with loneliness. Historia and Hange weeps.
Eren, heartbroken. Because he has seen the future.
He knows who will really make her happy.
So, he must let her go.
Why didn't you admit that there's someone else?
Mikasa limply rides their Captain's horse. She doesn't have the strength to think but this set up must have been the perfect plan, maybe Levi expected this, or just a pure coincidence, the raven-haired girl wonders to herself, and she is too proud to ask.
"Hold on to my waist," He commands, and without the usual argument, she complies. This must have surprised her captain as he squirms a little at how tight she holds him close, because right now, she is trying to keep herself from crying. Until he continues, "Cry, it's an order."
And with that, she howls, drowning herself in the pain, hoping her tears and contained whimpers will wash it all away. And today, she will follow her captain's orders without protest. In the middle of the dark forest as the horse gallops, she cries her eyes out, loud, like a kid left alone in the park. Mikasa doesn't care anymore, as she has received permission to hold onto Levi's midriff and cry. Because there are no pigs around. And she doesn't consider humanity's strongest as such.
I'm the one in your arms, but you're thinking of another.
The humanity's strongest soldier, baby-sitting the possibly next humanity's greatest soldier. "Ackerman," he calls out, two hours of non-stop crying and she falls asleep. Pity, how her obsession with her adoptive brother ends up. They could have reached the base in an hour, but he feels bad about bringing her sooner as she hasn't calmed down.
She must have been wrecked inside, very badly. He sighs, he must be going mad, tolerating these kinds of antiques, but he recognizes her strongest squad member needs closure. Or else, she will only be a liability in the battlefield.
Her hands clenched tighter against his diaphragm. "Oi, brat," he calls out again, "We're here. Get your ass off,"
Levi doesn't understand anything about love. He has grown up and taken the title of Humanity's strongest soldier without experiencing such. They say love brings happiness, but he disagrees. Happiness is brought by life – when his fellow soldiers return with him alive, maybe injured but alive. That is how he describes happiness.
All he knows is that, with Mikasa Ackerman, he doesn't really need to worry much when she is on the battlefield. Her only flaw – for him – is her obsession with the titan-shifter. He also wouldn't understand, because family is one that was deprived from him from when he was little. But one fact he knows by heart is that loving someone might be a weakness.
"Eren," the raven-haired brat slurs, "I'm sorry."
Levi's eyes soften uncharacteristically. Maybe he can put up with this brat a bit more. Just a little bit more.
Why didn't I realize there could be an end?
Mikasa awakens with swollen eyes, but she doesn't mind. She doesn't care what others think of her. She only cares if it involves Eren, but starting today, that too will have to change. She swings her axe swiftly, cutting the chunk of wood in two perfect halves.
Beginning today, she must live for herself. Unconsciously, her fingers reach for her exposed neck. Her scarf, now gone, entrusted to Armin, and that too, she must let go. She swears, the next time she sees Eren, she will genuinely smile deep in her heart.
And her first step to a new her, is to thank their captain for what he did to her last night. She barely remembers but she knows it was him who brought her to the girls' quarters. He always says he hates baby-sitting brats, but he still does it anyway. So, she concludes, he cares.
After a couple more chunks of wood to chop, Mikasa decides it is time to go back when she spots the captain near the stables. Discreetly, she heads toward him and greets him with her usual expression.
"Good morning, Captain." She salutes, but he doesn't bother to acknowledge her, so she remains in her stiff formation.
Finally, after a few minutes, Levi turns to face her, "You look like shit, Ackerman." He greets back, albeit insulting. But she feels her blood rush up to her cheeks.
"With all due respect, that's not a nice thing to say to a lady, Sir." She barks, uncharacteristically, she silently wishes he doesn't notice how hot her face is, but she manages to keep her indifferent expression.
And for a moment, Mikasa thought she saw the sides of Levi's mouth twitch upwards. "Lady Ackerman, you're dismissed. Go fix yourself." He sneers, waving his hand back and forth, and just when Mikasa thought she couldn't get any redder, she did as she witnessed Levi let out a collected laugh.
"Captain," she relaxes, and his smile is contagious as Mikasa unknowingly smiles back at him, "You look very refreshing when you laugh, I like it. Thank you for last night."
And with that, she scurries away. Before she forgets the sight of her captain's bright face.
Pity how she fails to see how she caused her captain to go red. Levi tiredly plummets, hunching down, his face in between his legs, his ears burning and his hands desperately covering his head. "That brat," he scoffs, his composure lost to who knows where.
"Captain, are you okay?" Armin runs toward him worriedly, dropping the hays he was carrying.
I was the first, but he is the last.
Days, months, and a year had passed since her heart break. It doesn't hurt as much any longer. Mikasa guesses the saying is true, time indeed, heals all wounds. Her adoptive brother's wedding is simple, no grand gestures, intimate and not political considering this is a royal marriage.
It kind of makes her relieved, because that way, Eren and Historia's wedding is secured and safe. She watches as Historia walks down the aisle, and her bright blue orbs meet hers unexpectedly. But she smiles, a genuine one, and she hopes the message comes across.
"I wish you all the best." She mouths, sincerely. She really does.
And she fails to notice why everyone's eyes are on her.
The groom, who is supposed to be looking at her bride, is looking at the raven-haired girl – longingly.
And regrettably.
Mikasa diverts her eyes to her captain, who is sitting boringly beside her, "Captain, you should at least pretend you're happy. It's a royal wedding and you look stunning with your suit."
And it is then that Mikasa figures out Levi is certainly not emotionless. As she watches how red her captain has become. It starts with his ears, crawling to his cheeks, and he totally loses his composure as he tries to cover his face with the back of his hand. "Shut it, you brat."
Mikasa is intrigued. She wants to see more. Her smile broadens, oblivious and unaware that all eyes were on her. Instead of the bride.
And it can be seen in your eyes.
Mikasa unbuckles her maneuver gear, dropping it to the tiles and she starts to undress.
Filthy.
She can imagine her captain whining again. And lately, he keeps occupying her mind, it irks her though. But not in a bad way. She showers and scrubs herself hard, letting the water run through the rest of her body. They just came from a mission, and it took two days, but she is glad, there is no casualty this time.
That never happened before.
"Mikasa," She hears Sasha calling out, "Commander Hange is–"
"Mikasa, I'll join you!" the commander declares openly. "Let me just undress," Mikasa hears the clanking of her gears against the floor. The military shower room is quiet, and not a lot washes up right away when they return from an expedition, must be the exhaustion. However, being in the Levi squad, it becomes a requirement. Or he'll nag, unless injured, showering right away is a necessity.
"What is it, Commander?" she acknowledges, turning the shower off.
Mikasa hears the shower in the next cubicle set off, "Well, I just want to personally commend you, Mikasa. You have been a great asset to the Survey Corps," She sings, in her usual jolly voice. "How do you feel about leading your own squad?"
The raven-haired girl scrubs her hair, her motion starts to slow down. She is being promoted. But that would only mean one thing – she will have to leave the Levi squad.
For a while, only the drip drop of the shower can be heard, until the commander speaks again. Her head popping above the cubicle and looking down on Mikasa, "You are rather blessed, Mikasa. How nice?"
If she is a normal girl, she would have quickly covered herself, but she is not, so she stares back at Commander Hange, hands still over her bubbling hair, "I'd have to consult Captain Levi first, Commander Hange."
Hange brings up one arm, leaning one elbow against the tiles, seemingly planning to jump on her cubicle when she obviously has her own. But then again, this is Commander Hange and whenever she's on sight, there is never a normal conversation. "Hmm," she hums thoughtfully, "It was actually him who recommended that you are ready to be entrusted with your own team. He says you are prepared to handle your own."
Mikasa's gray orbs widened, but as soon as it came it vanished, but didn't go unnoticed by the ever-observant commander. Something is going on. And Levi screwed up, as whatever's brewing right now, Hange gets a good grip of it.
And the commander lets out a boisterous laugh.
Why you chose the other.
"Captain Levi," Mikasa storms inside his office, without even bothering to knock or let him know she is there. "Why are you getting rid of me?"
Mikasa is enraged and Levi can feel her subordinate's menacing glare burning through his head. If glares could kill, he'd surely be dead right now. "I am recommending you for a promotion, Ackerman. I am not getting rid of you." He replies calmly, "And I am still your superior so mind your manners." Levi doesn't look at her, and he can feel Mikasa's wrath rising.
"I don't want to. Please take back the recommendation." She demands, determined to get what she wants.
Levi drops his pen, he drags his gray orbs to meet hers, "Why?" he asks, "Do you have a logical reason why you are refusing to be promoted?"
In all honesty, he decides Mikasa is already prepared to handle her own team. Now that she had gotten rid of her obsession with her titan-shifter adoptive brother, she would be able to protect her unit.
But she is also making him crazy. And Levi doesn't like it one bit. He, himself, is confused with his own feelings. It is foreign, and he is too proud to admit it, even to himself. Which doesn't really help at all. He is at the verge of going to the psych ward to have his head checked. All he thinks about is his subordinate, and he chastises himself for it.
Mikasa is almost half his age, she belongs to his team, the most promising soldier in the Survey Corps and his direct subordinate. And it doesn't help that Hange has now a faint idea of why he is recommending Mikasa to handle her own team.
"Because I want to know more about you, if that is considered logical." She snorts, straight to the point, and she did not fail to get an unfamiliar reaction from her captain.
Levi's gray orbs widen considerably, his mouth slightly falling agape. But he composes himself right away, and lets out an awkward cough, "That is not logical enough, Ackerman." He slams his table, a few papers flying away.
Mikasa's expression morphed from determination to worry, "I know you don't need my protection, and this might be the most illogical reason I can tell you, but I want to stay beside you–"
"I don't say this often, Ackerman." Levi's expression darkens, "But I am humanity's strongest, and you being beside me, will definitely ruin me."
Awkward silence envelopes his room.
"Thank you for enlightening me, Captain." Mikasa's voice spits venom, and for the first time in his life, he regrets his words. "I will keep that in mind."
With that, she walks away, slamming his door closed.
And Levi was left there, angry with himself.
It's hard to go against fate.
She waits for the smoke signal before retreating. Mikasa has accepted her promotion but she doesn't want to leave her argument with her former captain in bad taste, so before the expedition, she attempted a few times to offer an apology. But fate doesn't side with her. And it must be the first time Mikasa cowers every time she spots him alone.
"Squad Leader, 20-meter class ahead." One of her scouts shouts, fear evident on his tone.
Mikasa fastens her blades, "Shoot a signal," she orders, and her squad members nervously assemble their flares as they struggle to keep up with their galloping horses.
"Redirect the horses, Floch, and you–" but even before she could continue her order, the Aberrant's fists were quick to swipe up two of her squad members. "Give up the horses, prepare to withdraw."
The screams of her two squad members are deafening, and she could have sworn, they are both calling out her name. She shifts into her 3D maneuver gear, realizing she can still save Floch, the boost of bangs of her hooks fill the air, she flies midair, swinging her blades against the monster's nape. With gracious speed, she bloodily snatches her comrade from the titan's grip. And before he loses consciousness, he tightly hugged Mikasa in both fear and relief. She guesses cowardice is a trait that's difficult to let go, even with experience.
Looking down, her unit and horses are nowhere to be seen, and she hopes and prays they are safe and has found their way to the others. But for now, she checks her gas, it is almost empty. And Floch damaged his.
She's stuck deep in the woods, without any spare gears and flare.
But they are alive.
I leave her up to you.
Levi scans the survivors, there has been a lot of casualty in today's expedition. Mostly because most scouts are new recruits. But he feels agitated, nervous even. He is currently looking for her former squad member. Or even her squad, he personally handpicked them for her, so he'll be able to remember their faces.
Until he finds one. And when he meets her watery eyes, the poor girl is visually shaken. "Captain Levi, sir." The girl salutes, "Our squad leader–" she sobs, "She's gone."
No. "What happened to Mikasa?" Levi loses his cool demeanor, as he glares at his informant, attracting the attention of the other soldiers beside them.
"S-she's…" the girl hiccups, trembling terribly. "We encountered an Aberrant, 20-meter class in the forest while waiting for the signal to retreat. The monster ate Kana and Floch, but the Squad Leader still dashed to retrieve them. It should have been a lost cause, Captain Levi. She should not have gone back, but she still did–"
"She's alive." Levi's usual stoic face is back, his gray eyes enraged. "Your captain's the strongest woman I've known, she is not one to die easily."
And even before he orders anyone to prepare his horse, the Levi squad waves at him. Armin shouts, "Captain, we are ready."
I leave her up to you.
Every nook and crooks, his gray orbs searches. His squad yelling out her name in worry. He made a choice, to let her go, but how did it end up like this? He fully trusts Mikasa can handle herself, but he forgot her over-protective nature. And once she has grown attached, she finds it hard to let go.
"Mikasa!" Jean's voice echoes throughout the now dark forest, with only their torches illuminating half of the way.
Levi is always rational in making decisions. And this is one of those irrational decisions he is sure he will never regret in the future. He will face disciplinary action later as he conducted a search mission without consent from the commander, but screw the consequences and protocols, his priority right now is to find Mikasa Ackerman, and he isn't going anywhere until he does.
He hadn't apologized.
He plans to, a hundred times, but to no avail. He is a proud man. And he hates that about himself. Every time he spots her alone, he is very tempted to call her out, but he refuses to admit he is wrong.
But now, he wonders, if he is indeed wrong.
"Damn it, Ackerman. Show yourself, brat!" He roars, unable to control himself.
"Hello," a voice from above hollers, a shadow of a man shows overhead a big trunk. Levi squints his eyes, "Captain Levi, is that you?" the man cries, and he disappears for a moment only to be back with another figure.
And he hears the loud boost of hooks from a maneuver gear. "Captain!"
His heart almost bursts out of his chest as he recognizes the woman standing before him, all in a salute formation. And he is unable to stop himself from jumping off the horse and holding her tight in his arms, never wanting to let go. He feels her body stiffen against his chest, but she welcomes the warmth. "I knew you are not one to die easily, Ackerman, you brat!" One hand searches her face, another caresses her hair, as if he could not believe she is truly there and might disappear any second.
Once Levi felt their skins touched, realization hits him – hard.
He needs her like he needs air. Levi Ackerman is in love – albeit he is not prepared to admit that out loud, first step is to admit it to himself first.
"Mikasa!" shouts from the other 104th training corps members calling out the girl could be heard as they joyfully run towards her. "Mikasa!"
He lets her go, and she hugs back her former squad mates. Pointing up, she says, "One casualty in my squad, sir. I was able to retrieve the other. At least before I lost them."
Levi's facial features soften, his kind eyes mesmerized her, sucking all her strength left. Another extraneous expression for Mikasa. The very reason she doesn't want to leave the Levi squad, is because she wants to learn their captain reactions in unusual circumstances. And she is yet to discover more.
Unrealized feelings will plague her. But for now, she must beat the feeling, something akin to yearning, forming, brewing in the bottom of her stomach.
After all, she has her own unit to handle now.
And she leaves it up to fate.