Work Text:
Acquiescence: The reluctant acceptance of something without protest
Intransigence: Refusal to change one's views or to agree about something
There is something regal, yet sinister about the Zenin estate. Despite its grandiosity and luxurious traditional estate, it’s sterile and stiff. It’s always been like this, despite how spacious it is, it’s suffocating. Naoya arrives back at the estate, he just finished a meeting with business partners — they’re getting him ready to be the next head of the Zenin Conglomerate and to be the next head of the family. His father was never meant to take the position as family head, he only took it once his older brother passed away. Originally, the spot of the next family head and the next CEO of the Zenin Conglomerate was supposed to go to his older brother’s son, Toji. Toji, the man Naoya once admired; he no longer admires him.
Toji was the embodiment of perfection; a goal a person should strive for, yet an unreachable goal no one could ever obtain. Tall, handsome, strong and eloquent — the embodiment of perfection, he was an idol to Naoya, Naoya wanted to be just like him since a child. He longer admires him, he hates him.
Naoya undos the tie from his collar and walks through the veranda of the traditional home, attendants taking his suit jacket and preparing things to make the rest of his afternoon and evening a calming one. While walking he sees him, the man he once put onto a pedestal standing there holding onto that thing he loves so damn much called his son. He remembers being in the same position as that kid when it was only just the two of them. He remembers being held up high and being loved by Toji, the same smile and tenderness as well. He hates it. He hates Toji. He hates that kid. Naoya continues to stare at them and he sees Toji spare him a glance when it should be the other way around. Toji soon walks away with his son. Naoya hates him, he no longer admires him.
Naoya is adorned in traditional wear at home, a white button-up shirt under a black yukata and white hakama pants. “Naoya, I told you, your hair and piercings are unfit for the future head of the Zenin Conglomerate. It’s unprofessional.” Naobito lectures him and he takes it like usual. He wants to speak, but he knows it will be followed with a reprimand — he loves his dyed hair (albeit it’s unconventional and gaudy) and piercings, it gives him a sense of individuality among the mundanity of a conglomerate lifestyle. “You should dye it back to a normal hair color.”
Naobito continues to lecture and reprimand Naoya for his choices, it’s normal. Every choice he makes and every decision he does is under a microscope — it’s his position now as the future head to take these words, it’s unpleasant but he takes it; he acquiesces. It hurts him, it stresses him out, he tries to calm himself but the anxiety and guilt never ends. “Give him a break Naobito. Let the kid do what he wants at least he’s working.” He hears Toji’s words behind the shoji. He’s dressed in a dark yukata and a gray haori, he glances in the room staring down at Naoya and his uncle. Those intransigent eyes, to this day still remain unwavering and prideful.
“You don’t have a say in this, you’re a stain in this family. The only reason you’re still here because your little boy is going to be the next head of this family. He is going to serve his family unlike you.” Naobito scowls and Toji shrugs his shoulders.
“You begged me to come back here when you found out I had a son to fulfill your weird traditions.” Toji eloquently retorts. It’s how Naoya remembers it.
“But you came back here. You’re the desperate one here.” Naobito scoffs and Toji laughs.
“Am I really though? You went to find me. The shit stain on this family. I only said yes because I get a free place to stay and he gets amazing top tier education for free. I wonder who’s the loser here.”
They both have a stare down. Naoya feels nervous, he’s in no man’s land — one wrong move and he’ll get shot by both sides that are fighting in the trenches across from each other.
“Why did you give him such a feminine name? It’s unfit for a boy. Was that harlot’s pussy that good you had to give him a girly name and change your last name to her’s?” Naobito scoffs and that was a shot he definitely did not want to shoot.
Toji’s glare that was a peer at best, but now it’s threatening, that stare sharp enough to kill someone. “Don’t you dare insult Megumi and her like that. He is our blessing. I can leave with him right now. Watch your tongue, old bag.” Toji threatens with contempt and makes his leave.
Naobito and Naoya know he’ll do it. He’ll pack his bags and leave with his son, he’s done it once and he’ll do it again. He’ll leave Naoya alone in this icy home. He’s the definition of intransigence — he makes no compromises or agreements, it’s on his terms and will always be on his terms. The one thing Naobito wants the most is to keep Megumi, the next head, in the estate.
Naobito sighs. “There’s no point in changing something that isn’t causing any problems.” Naobito gets up and excuses himself, leaving Naoya to himself. Naoya waits until Naobito leaves out of respect. He soon gets up, sprints out of the room and tries to catch up to Toji, he doesn’t see Toji down the veranda but he knows where he’s going to go. Naoya feet pitpat on the wooden veranda until he sees Toji slowly strolling. He runs to him and hugs him from behind as if he was still a young boy hugging his older cousin those many years ago. He hates him, yet yearns for that warmth and that tender affection they once shared as youths.
Toji stills himself, Naoya’s hands slide under his yukata and explore his chiseled, muscular body. He can feel every crevice and definition of his muscles, Naoya loves it, it’s something he still admires of him. Naoyo presses his face in the crook of Toji’s neck, he smells the nice body wash he uses along with the lingering shampoo and conditioner as well, there’s a small hint of the cigarettes he smokes. “Nao…” Toji mutters and he continues to smell him. That smell, that heat he it somehow lowers his stress and calms him. He’s confused, but he yearns for it and Toji doesn’t protest his touches. He begins to drag his fingers to the front of Toji’s abdomen and begins to slide his fingers below the tight obi.
“Let me repay you for earlier, Toji-kun… Use me anyway you want…” Naoya whispers against his neck giving it a lick. He just wants the stress gone, to let it all go he needs him to use him just like how everyone else does it. He needs to know that Toji is just like everyone else, that Toji is just as horrible as they are. Toji grabs his hands, pulls them off his body and abruptly steps forward, they hear small footsteps approach them. Megumi peeks out from the corner and he smiles. Megumi dressed in a school boy’s uniform: white button up shirt, suit coat, tie, shorts and knee high socks.
“Dad!” He smiles, Toji squats and Megumi runs into his arms.
This scene makes Naoya envious. He hates Toji, he hates Megumi and he hates that woman that is the root of all his pain. The pain of being placed into a position he didn’t even want to be in and all because of that woman Toji loves so much. That woman who was the reason Toji abandoned his family. She is the one who gave birth to Megumi. Megumi is the reason Toji refuses to take back his original spot as the next family head. Megumi, who will be the one to take Naoya’s spot when he’s older. Naoya is just a substitute for Toji and a placeholder for Megumi, all the pain he goes through is because of her. He hates her, he hates Toji, he hates Megumi. He hates how tender Toji is to his son — how loving he is to him just how Toji was to him when he was younger.
“How was school?” Toji ruffles Megumi’s head and he grins.
“It was great! I got to read a lot of books and hang out with friends!” His boy smiles and Toji grins. Naoya knows Toji’s actually listening to him and engrossed in what Megumi has to say.
“Are Maki and Mai taking care of you at school too?”
“Mhm. Aunt Maki and Aunt Mai are looking out for me. Why are they my aunts? I thought aunts are supposed to be older than me. A lot older.”
“Well my dad’s younger brother had kids late. They’re my cousins so what does that mean Megumi? When they are my cousins, but you’re my son.” Toji is trying to teach Megumi a lesson. The boy ponders a bit and he comes to an epiphany. Naoya is envious on how patient Toji is with his son.
“They would be my aunts!” Toji smiles and rubs Megumi’s hair a bit more.
“That’s why they’re Aunt Mai and Aunt Maki, but I’m sure they would like it if you call them cousins Mai and Maki instead, alright kiddo?” Megumi nods.
“I want to finish my homework, I’ll see you later dad. Don’t bother me!” Megumi points at him and he laughs.
“I won’t, but if you need help I’m here Megumi.”
Megumi runs off. Naoya stands there, his body shakes in anger, jealousy and frustration. He hates him so much. Toji sees him shake, Naoya acquiesces. He’s envious of Megumi’s position. He wants that unconditional love he’s never received; a loving, gentle, yet stern parenting he never received — he’s jealous. He sees Toji and Megumi, he’s envious of them. Toji is the embodiment of everything he is not. He’s intransigent.
“You’re really insolent, you know that? Ignoring me to look at your son when the head of the family is noticing you.” Naoya degrades and Toji remains unwavering, the words bounce off his skin. Naoya hates it.“You fucking know where to meet. Same place same time. Waste of space.” Naoya spits at the floor towards Toji, but aims at the garden next to them. He doesn’t mean those words, it’s a way to see if Toji is just like them. Those insults are shallow, it's his way to “assert” his position as the head of the family. A way to mask his acquiescence that he calls his life now. He walks away leaving Toji there. Like clockwork, he throws shallow insults at him since he’s in a higher position than him and Toji takes it, but Naoya knows that’s not the case. Toji is steel, impenetrable, unwavering and unyielding; intransigent.
The estate is silent, the sound of crickets are the only sounds around the manor and the only source of light is the bright moon that illuminates the verandas. Naoya sneaks his way to their designated spot, like clockwork and he sees Toji there. His arm is tucked in his yukata, his back against the wall while smoking a cigarette and looking at the moon. Naoya knows this image is ephemeral, he burns the image into his brain; no matter how much he detests him he admires his beauty and the way he carries himself.
“Naoya.” Toji calls out. He knows he’s there. “Stop staring, let’s get this done and over this I’m tired.”
Naoya acquiesces and he opens his yukata, revealing small rings through his nipples and he licks his lips, a small metal ball peeks through them.
“I’m still not used to all the piercings you have. You really are all pierced up.” Toji sighs and Naoya pins him to the wall, his smaller body cages him. He takes Toji’s cigarette and throws it to the floor and puts it out. When it comes to these trysts, he takes charge and it’s the only time he does.
“I like them, do you like them?” Naoya licks his lips, flashing the barbell playfully again and brings Toji’s hand to his chest, the cool ring turns warm from his hands. Toji knows what to do. He hooks his finger through the ring and tugs on it, the pull makes Naoya whimper under him. The pleasurable pain goes through his body and he revels in it.
“I guess so. They look really kinky.” Toji’s tone sounds inquisitive, but nonchalant at best. He brings his other hand to the other ring and hooks it, pulling it. The pain shooting straight to Naoya’s cock, he loves the pain — it feels better than the nitpicking, the criticism and the inadequacy he feels.
“P-pull on them more.” Naoya orders, Toji tugs on them with more force and Naoya shivers. Toji puts his leg between Naoya’s legs; Naoya knows what’s happening and he grinds his cock against it. He loves this, he loves the attention Toji gives him when this happens. He never argues back and lets it happen, he’s gentle to him no matter how messed up he wants it. It plays into his fantasy of being used by the one person who gives him kindness.
Naoya steps on his tip toes and licks his bottom lip, Toji opens his mouth slightly and Naoya wraps his arms around his neck and pulls him down. It’s the taste of the cigarette he was smoking and mint probably the toothpaste he used earlier. Naoya tongue explores his mouth, he’s the one taking charge and Toji follows him. His older cousin sucks on his tongue and plays with the piercing in his mouth, using his tongue to flick at Naoya’s barbell. Despite Naoya leading the initiation, Toji becomes more forceful, his arms off his piercings and now helping Naoya grind against his leg. Naoya doesn’t give in and his teeth clash against Toji’s, his kiss turning desperate.
His stiffening cock rubs against Toji’s muscular thigh while the suffocating kiss between them is too much for Naoya and he pulls away first, his face completely flushed. He takes a look at Toji’s face and couldn’t help but feel pure elation. His face which is usually composed is rosy, his gaze slightly glassy, his breaths are heavy as he tries to steady them. Naoya is quick to move off of Toji’s thigh and on his knees, his face near his waist. He fumbles with his obi and quickly loosens it, his robes flow open and show his boxers which confines his massive cock that’s tucked to the side. It’s hard and leaking through his boxers. Naoya looks up at Toji and sticks out his tongue to show that shining piercing.
“Toji-kun, do you hate this?” He asks while he rubs his dick through his boxers. He sees Toji furrow his brows as he tries his best to hide his reaction. Toji, whose face never wavers no matter the situation he’s in, no matter what insults and abuses are said — his face remains stoic or fear-inducing. Only to Naoya, the man who is an inflexible and intransigent force is bending to his will, his face is warping into sexual bliss.
Toji looks at him and brushes his hair tenderly. “I don’t Nao. I don’t hate this.” That stern and cold voice he always has sounds so warm to him. Naoya has his front, he acts cold and like he detests him (and he does), but he loves that tenderness Toji never fails to give him. That warmth and kindness he once gave to him as a child when it was just the two of them.
“Good.” Naoya kisses the bulge of his boxers and slowly feathers kisses, bit by bit until it’s at the damp spot. He lightly sucks and he feels Toji reach his hand to his blond hair and grips onto it. He loves it, the rough grip and the slightly painful pull he does.
Naoya pulls the elastic waistband and his dick falls out from the confinement, its girthiness hitting Naoya’s face creating a slap from the impact. He takes the base of his cock and examines it. “Why are you so big?” Naoya looks at him and Toji is taken aback and Naoya laps at the side of his cock, the cool metal making the older man twitch. Naoya drags his tongue to the tip of his cock, pressing doing kitten licks at the trickling slit. He slowly moves his tongue down his glans to the underside of his cock stopping at the base. He rests Toji’s cock on his face, the size almost as long as his face and his bangs being pushed up by it. He moves his tongue lower to his sac and gives it a kiss.
He looks up at the man and sees his mouth ajar, his hand lightly brushing his hair encouraging him to do more — as if he’s telling him he’s doing a great job. He’s the only one who tells him he’s doing a good job, who rewards him for an achievement no matter how little it is. Naoya lolls his mouth and takes his balls into his mouth and massages it with his tongue, his nose nuzzled against Toji’s wiry hairs. He can smell a slight musky scent and his body wash, he only wishes he didn’t bathe before this, he wants him to stink. He lets his heavy sac rest on his tongue and he lightly sucks before trailing his tongue over it.
“F-fuck Nao…” Toji groans and he feels his hand petting him. His cock leaking onto his bangs and trickling onto his face.
Naoya hums in accomplishment, the vibration makes Toji moan and Naoya feels his cock leak more. This man who remains unfazed from everything is trembling from him.
“Naoya. Stop.” Toji mutters and lets his balls fall from his mouth and he grins at him.
“Or what? You’ll cum? What if I want on my face?” Naoya drags his tongue back up and kisses the tip before lapping up the precum. He grins and looks at him, Toji’s essence glistens all over his face. “Unless you want to shoot it up my ass like usual.”
The look in his eyes tells him everything and he laughs. Those eyes tell him everything he wants and needs. He stands up and undoes his hakama and lets it fall and Toji’s eyes widen and sees a lacey black thong and a small gleam of metal under the sheer fabric. He can see Toji drooling at the sight and he giggles some more.
“I put it on tonight since you were so nice to defend me.” Naoya trails his fingers down to the lacey fabric and pulls down the band revealing a patch of dark hair. Toji quickly grabs his hand and drags him to the wall, Naoya now facing it. His hands splay on the wall and he can feel Toji’s hands on his hips. The older man pulls his hips out, kicks his ankles to spread his legs and he can feel his cock on the cleft of his ass. Naoya can already feel his cock leaking through the fabric, he’s ready for the painful thrust and the painful stretch from Toji’s large dick. Instead he hears a thud and a warm breath nears his ass. He feels Toji’s hands spreading his cheeks moving the thin piece of fabric away from his hole.
“What’re you doing?” Naoya retorts and Toji breathes against his rim.
“Whenever we do this it’s because you’re stressed, lemme help you.” Toji bluntly says before his tongue circles around the pucker and Naoya’s legs begin to shake. The sensation so pleasurable and foreign, he clenches his hands so hard his knuckles begin to turn white.
Toji uses his thumbs and spreads Naoya’s hole which gapes and clenches on nothing. “It’s so lewd…” Toji mutters, his warm breath tickles the rim.
“Just do it already…” Naoya grits his teeth as he looks to the green grass they stand on.
Toji slips his tongue into his hole and Naoya shoots his head back, the wet muscle stretching him wide. Toji slowly sticks his tongue further in until his nose is touching the cleft of his ass.
“F-fuck… that feels amazing…” Naoya groans, the stretch and the way his tongue squirms inside of him is euphoric. Toji begins to move his tongue in circles, then left and right making sure to use extra spit to make it nice and wet for him. He can feel the entirety of Toji’s tongue probe him and it’s thick just like his cock. Toji moves his tongue around trying to find that spot in Naoya, his drool leaking from his mouth and getting it on Naoya’s ass. His breath is so hot, it’s starting to make Naoya leak uncontrollably through his thong. Toji’s tongue soon brushes against that spot and Naoya screams.
Toji taps his leg as a hint to keep it down and Naoya uses his hand to muffle his moans. The last thing he wants is people to see is him in this position with his cousin, the cousin who disgraced the family, the cousin who abandoned his family. The selfish and heartless cousin. The cousin who chased his own happiness rather than put his family’s honor, lineage and beliefs first. The black sheep of the family. Toji uses the tip of his tongue to brush against this spot over and over, his cock leaking through his panties. Toji moves his hand to let his cock out and begins to stroke Naoya’s dick.
“T-Toji-kun…” Naoya struggles to say, his legs tremble from the pleasure. Toji uses the precum leaking from Naoya’s cock and teases the piercing that’s through his tip. He wiggles it with his finger, the younger man struggles to not scream and cum right there. Toji could feel his rim clench around his tongue and he pulls out.
“Naoya, you have to keep it down.” Toji lectures while he stands up and angles his cock to his twitching rim.
“D-don’t tell me what to do.” Naoya retaliates and Toji stands up and shoves his fingers into Naoya’s mouth, his salty fingers that were covered in Naoya’s precum press down on his tongue, the piercing lodged between them.
“Sure thing Nao.” Toji presses the head against his rim and thrusts in one go. Naoya clenches his teeth on Toji’s fingers to muffle the moans — that stretch is what he wanted.
Toji uses his free hand to lift Naoya’s hips higher so he’s now on his tiptoes as Toji pulls out and slams back in. Naoya's body shakes and his teeth bites down on Toji’s fingers, drawing blood. Every drag Toji does and every pound back in, Naoya could feel his feet lift up, each slam and every pound too much for him.
“Naoya keep your hands on the wall or you’ll fall.” Toji whispers. His free arm wraps around Naoya and he slowly drags his dick out. Naoya knows what’s going to happen and he braces himself. Toji punishes his hole and slams his cock in, hilt deep and Naoya’s legs are no longer touching the floor. Toji’s thrusts become jagged and short, each pound brushes against his prostate. He’s no longer clenching his teeth on Toji’s fingers, instead he’s drooling from his mouth and it dribbles down his chin. He could feel with every short punishing thrust his legs flail like a ragdoll and he loves it. He loves being used and adored by Toji, he loves feeling his erratic breath on his back, he could imagine his face contorted in pleasure. That face that always show a prideful unwavering resilience, wavering to him from pleasure and lust.
“F-fuck Naoya, you’re so tight. I’m gonna cum…” Toji moans against his neck and Naoya’s usual moans change into something louder reaffirming with him.
Naoya could feel Toji’s balls slap against his, his ass sore from Toji’s muscular thighs slapping against them over and over. He feels like a fleshlight meant for Toji, a sex doll meant for Toji to pump his cum and be a cumdumpster for him. Toji presses his cock right at his prostate and Naoya’s cum shoots from his dick, hitting the wall he’s using as support. Toji feels his rim tighten and Toji grits his teeth, he pumps his length into Naoya a few more times and he does one final slam. His cock deep in Naoya all the way to the hilt and he groans, filling his ass full of his thick cum. Toji throws his head back in pleasure and he trembles, the ecstasy too much for him. Naoya’s legs are still dangling in the air, the strength of Toji’s arm lifting him up.
Minutes pass since their orgasm, Toji feels his cock softening and gently lowers Naoya. Naoya’s legs are weak and he immediately falls to the floor, sitting in the grass. Toji’s cum covered cock near his face. He takes it and immediately cleans it, lapping up his essence until it’s all clean.
Naoya smiles on the floor, his face completely disheveled and his eyes still sultry. “I... can stand don’t worry…. Toji-kun. I just need a… bit of time.” Naoya breathes. Toji bends down and ruffles through their clothes and finds his cigarettes and a lighter, he lights himself another cancer stick.
“Alright, I gotta go. I have to go take a piss.” Toji begins to fix his robes and Naoya stops him.
“No.”
Toji looks at him incredulously.
“What?”
“I said ‘no’.” They look at each other and Naoya is ready to make Toji cave to his whim. No matter how much Toji dislikes it, he will always give in when it comes to him. “On me, do it on me.”
“Huh?”
“Do it. Use me like a urinal, I want it.”
He sees Toji doesn’t want to, but he caves in. Toji spoils him and he always has. Their situations have switched, Toji acquiesces.
Toji holds his heavy thick cock and aims it at Naoya, there’s reluctance in his eyes and Naoya opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out, that metal barbell gleams in the moonlight. “On my mouth and face.” He struggles to say with his mouth open.
Toji groans and he lets it out, the warm yellow piss shoots on Naoya’s face, the pressure strong enough for it to leak down his mouth. Naoya swallows bit by bit, the taste too salty for him, but it only makes him wants more. He pulls Toji’s hips towards him and hugs his legs, his mouth wraps around his peeing dick.
“Naoya! Stop!” Toji protests but he doesn’t fight back. He takes the entire flaccid length in until his nose is against his wiry hairs at the base. He feels the warm liquid go down his throat and fills his stomach, he loves how warm it is and how it comes from Toji. He can feel his stomach getting full from his piss and feels utterly used. The stream keeps going, he can feel Toji grip his hair and keeping him there. Naoya glances up and sees Toji’s head thrown back and his eyes shut. A groan leaving his lips.
“F-fuck Nao...” He mutters as he continues to piss down his throat and fill up his stomach, it’s so much for Naoya and he feels so full, but he doesn’t care. His throat tightens trying to milk as much as he can. If he could get hard again, he would. Toji’s stream becomes weak until there’s nothing left, Toji’s chest heaves and he looks at Naoya completely debauched.
Naoya lets that heavy dick drop from his mouth and he licks his lips. He looks at Toji waiting to see the utter disgust, but Toji still looks at him with tenderness despite how filthy he is. The younger man takes his heavy cock, kisses it and sucks the tip not letting a drop go waste, making sure it’s clean of piss and cum.
“Thank you Toji-kun.” He looks up at him with a perverse smile. He knows no matter how disgusting and perverse he is, Toji will still care and spoil him. When it comes to the two of them, Toji acquiesces.
Naoya is still as busy per usual, more meetings to step up to become the next head of the family. Business meetings, family meetings, finishing up with school — stressor after stressor, it’s overwhelming him but he does it for his family. His family relies on him, he needs to step up as it’s his duty as the next oldest son. To him, family is everything and his purpose is to make his family happy — to harmonize the disharmony Toji created.
He sits in a room with his father, it’s another one of these meetings between him and his father, it is always tense and stressful. The air is heavy and Naoya could feel the tension in the room. “Naoya, have you found a girlfriend?” Naobito asks him.
Naoya has never really considered it. He was raised with the idea that women really have no use except to be mothers, birth babies, cook, clean and do domestic work. They have no other purpose besides that, it was something his father preached to him. Dating women never really occurred to him and he frankly found more interest in men than he ever did in women. The only real person he ever found interest in was Toji, he was perfect in his eyes until he abandoned him.
“I haven’t no. You said the only purpose of a woman is to cook, clean and birth children. Never really found a purpose to date breeding cows and borderline servants.” Naoya responds with a cold tone while they both sip their tea.
Naobito throws a folder in front of Naoya and he opens it. A picture of a woman dressed in an elegant kimono and her makeup done.
“An omiai?” Naoya stutters and Naobito nods.
“You’re getting to that age where you need to find a wife and have children. Carry on the Zenin name.”
His face begins to pale. Marriage to another woman was the last thing on his mind. He knew it was going to happen eventually, but he couldn’t imagine it right in front of him. He could feel his chest tighten, an indescribable fear overcoming his body. He wants to regurgitate, but he doesn’t, he composes himself. “W-wait. I’m only 21. It’s still a bit early. Besides, we have Toji-kun and Megumi? Uncle Ougi might have a son too. Uncle Jinichi, he might bear a son too!” Naoya begins to bargain, it’s the first time he attempts to argue back to Naobito. He doesn’t want this, he’s not ready and he’s scared, everything is moving too quickly for him. Naobito looks at him incredulously.
“Why are you protesting an omiai? I picked out a beautiful woman for you. Unless there’s something else you’re hiding?” Naobito begins to examine him. He could feel his eyes probing him, he could feel a hole forming and he’s about to fall. “Do you have something you want to tell me, Naoya?”
Naoya could feel a pool of spit forming in his throat, he could feel his anxieties form. His anxieties are manifesting and they’re strangling him, his airways are tightening, he can’t breathe and he’s suffocating. He wants to cry, but crying means weakness — men don’t cry. Men don’t love other men, it’s not masculine. A man’s purpose to marry a woman and have children to carry on the family, straying from that is betrayal to his father — to his family. His sole duty is to carry on the bloodline, by being only interested in men will end that. He will fail his family who cared for him as a child, he will fail his duty to repay their debt for raising him. He has to maintain an image of being the next head, to serve his family before himself.
“You know your duty as my son is to carry on this family. To marry a woman and to have a son is your purpose. A woman’s purpose to her family is to marry another man and bear sons. A man’s purpose is to marry a woman, bear sons and carry on the family name and traditions. You need to do that as my son, it’s the least you can do after I raised you. Unless you like men?” Naobito begins to interrogate him, Naoya is afraid, he’s about to fall into that hole. He can feel his anxieties strangling him and they’re about to break his windpipe.
He sees a familiar form again standing at the doorway, Toji is standing there with his son who clings onto his kimono.
“He’s only 21, give him a break. Marriage at such a young age is weird.” Toji sighs and Megumi looks at Naoya. Despite the arguing between his granduncle and his father, there is no fear in his eyes, but only unwavering kindness. Naoya sees those eyes from the young boy, they’re exactly like Toji’s. He’s kind and he will be intransigent just like him.
“You ran away from your omiai multiple times.” Naobito retorts.
“Is that a problem? They weren’t my type, maybe she isn’t Naoya’s type.” Toji walks in with Megumi next to him. He looks at the folder and he looks at Naobito; he refuses to sit down in front of him and stays eye level — in a sense showing he doesn’t bow to him, he will not cave to his words. “Maybe you shouldn’t be pushing this kind of stuff on him.”
Naobito scoffs at him. “You were always such a softie towards him. He’ll never grow a backbone like you if you keep babying him. It’s his duty to produce a son and continue the bloodline. My brother only has daughters and they can’t carry on the family. Who knows if your son with the feminine name is defective. We need Naoya to make sure our bloodline doesn’t end.” Toji yawns and Megumi continues to look at Naoya, the small boy hugs him. Naoya’s shocked, he’s trying to understand how this little boy he hates so much can be so kind to him. He was so cold to him. Every time Megumi would try to get his attention, he would ignore him — Megumi still chose kindness, he really is Toji’s blessing.
“Defective or not, Megumi is my son and I will love him regardless. Maki and Mai can have children if they want. If they don’t or can’t have sons, so be it. The whole carrying on the family shit is stupid to me.” Toji jeers and Naobito stands up. He’s unhappy, extremely unhappy.
“You’re so disrespectful. You have no respect for your family, your traditions and your elders. You weren’t even there to bury your own father.” Naobito shouts at him. Megumi tries to help Naoya up and pulls him, trying to get him out of the room.
“No, I just don’t believe in this bullshit. We don’t belong to you just because we’re your children. We’re people, not your little minions to continue your bloodline and the family. Families and bloodlines die out all the time, our ancestors hundreds of years ago aren’t even related to us anymore; we’re only related by name. Just like people, families will die, lineages will die. That’s fucking life. Just like my father, everyone and everything dies.” Toji argues, pointing his finger at Naobito’s chest and kicking the omiai away, Naobito is taken aback by Toji’s argument.
“Besides, Naoya is still in his 4th year of school, he’s working for the company and also doing meetings. The last thing he needs is another thing in his shitty life.”
Naoya sits there and Toji looks back at him. He’s envious of Toji, he’s intransigent. No matter what Naobito says or argues, his views stay the same and he never backs down. He’s so envious of him, despite the things people say about him he remains unfazed.
“Nao, let’s go. You’ve dealt with enough stress for today. Let’s leave this old bag and get you some beer or something.” Toji helps him up along with Megumi. Megumi grabs his hand and leads him out with Toji leading the way.
“They treat you so harshly Uncle Naoya, you’re already trying your best. I know sometimes you can’t talk to me because you’re busy, but I know you work hard.” Megumi smiles, excusing his cold treatment as him being busy. Naoya feels bad not giving Toji’s son a time or day just because he came from Toji’s deceased wife. Naoya wishes he could hug his nephew but he’s arms feel like jelly. Megumi is kind just like his father.
“I didn’t even get my first omiai until I was 22. Then again, I left after that. They’re just really trying to make sure you don’t do what I did. I’m sorry Nao.” Toji turns around and ruffles his hair. That same head pat and hair ruffles makes him melt, he wants to cry but he can’t. He melts into the tender affection that he remembers as a young boy. When it was just him and Toji and Toji gave him the love and affection he needed.
His smile is solemn and he leads him away from the meeting. Naoya needs to thank him again for his help, he just hates himself for being so weak. How he acquiesces to his father’s words, everything he says, he obeys. Anything he preaches, he listens without question. Naoya always acquiesces.
Naoya silently opens the shoji to Toji’s room, he’s fast asleep, his blankets are all over the place, his yukata disheveled and his legs are spread open. Naoya remembers how proper he used to sleep, how he used to carry himself with such poise but now he’s so lax and impolite — Naoya loves it, it shows he’s truly free.
He slowly closes the shoji and silently makes his way to Toji’s sleeping body, his body cages him. Toji has always been a deep sleeper since they were in their youths and it still hasn’t changed. Naoya pulls down his boxers and sees his massive cock resting on his thigh, he tucks his hair behind his ear and holds onto the base. It’s heavy enough for Naoya to carry with his two hands, he lolls his tongue out and pops his jaw before taking it into his mouth. He begins to hollow his cheeks and bobs his head up and down.
Toji grumbles in his sleep, his brows furrowed and he begins to scratch his stomach during his deep slumber. Naoya continues to hum and suck, he wants him to get hard and make this quick. He just needs to feel him split him in two, he needs to destress, but he doesn’t want to wake up Toji, he wants this to be the last night he does this. He doesn’t want to use Toji anymore, he doesn’t want to use his kindness and be weak anymore. Naoya needs to change and stop relying on Toji. He wanted Toji to use him, when really he was the one using him. All he wanted was to justify his contempt towards him.
Naoya feels Toji’s cock hardening in his mouth with each bob and with each suck. Naoya takes a deep breath through his nose and forces Toji’s cock down his throat until his nose is against the wiry hairs at his base. Naoya is gagging and choking, the spit coming up and leaking from his mouth getting it all over Toji’s cock and his sac. He feels Toji’s cock fully hardening from the way his throat is massaging his glans; Naoya rises his head up and forces himself down once more, gagging again.
Toji grumbles in his sleep again. “Mmm… Naoya…” He mutters and Naoya’s eyes widen.
‘ He’s calling my name in his sleep… ’ Naoya slowly pulls his mouth away from his Toji’s cock and it falls from his mouth. Naoya’s already hard, but he’s ready to just let loose. He stands up, pulls out the small bottle of lube from his pocket, begins to fumble with the sash that holds up his hakama and swiftly removes them along with his boxers. He prepared himself already while he was bathing, he just needed him now.
He squirts the bottle of lube over Toji’s cock, the cold liquid creating a small reaction on Toji’s sleeping face. Naoya squats over Toji’s waist, grabs his cock by the base and angles it to his rim. He slowly lowers himself, the spread has him hooked. He's sad that tonight will be the last night he’s going to be doing this. He doesn’t want to use Toji anymore. He doesn’t want to use him because he’s weak, because he can’t say what he wants to say, because he can’t be himself. He doesn’t care if it hurts and lets gravity do its work and sinks all the way down to the hilt.
He throws his head back. “F-fuck… that hurts… I feel so damn fucking full...” Naoya whispers trying to keep himself down. He lifts his hips up and slams himself back down all the way to the hilt. He loves the sensation of feeling full, then the slow emptiness of his hole and the sudden feeling of being filled. Rinse and repeat. His cock leaks from the sensation alone. He readjusts his position so Toji’s cock is aiming at his prostate and he hops on that spot, his bounces turning more shallow so he can keep abusing it.
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck.” Naoya quietly moans as his length bounces up and down, his precum dripping on both their abs. “It feels so fucking good.” Naoya breathes, his mouth drooling from the intensity. He places his hands on Toji’s stomach and continues to ride him.
He lifts his hips and slams back down and at times he fully sheathes Toji’s cock deep in him.He wants it to rub against his sweet spot and at times he change the angle to have the tip of Toji’s fat cock hit that bundle of nerves, both sensations satisfy Naoya’s stress-induced libido — his repressed sexual desires he keeps hidden. He can feel himself almost finishing, after he’s done he’ll leave. Use Toji like a toy just like how it’s always been except it’ll be the last time. He scratches his nails against his abs and his drool drips onto his stomach, his eyes are glassy as his mind wanders chasing his pleasure — drunk from Toji’s dick.
“Mmm… Naoya?” Naoya pays no attention assuming it’s Toji sleep talking again. He’s soon knocked out of his drunken state and sees Toji slowly lift his body, slowly awakening from his sleep.
“Nao, what’re you-” Toji asks before Naoya shoves his hands over Toji’s face and begins to lift his hips up and move them faster do he can finish.
“Just let me finish, just stay there and let me use you.” Naoya coldly says with a trembling voice. He doesn’t mean this and Toji knows; Toji takes Naoya’s hands off of his mouth and kisses them. His kiss so tender, a feeling so new to Naoya it confuses him.
“I’ll help.” Toji grabs the globes of his ass and lifts him up, Toji then slams him down right at that spot and Naoya’s legs give out. Toji crosses his legs and continues to lift him up and drop him down on his dick. Naoya moans, it’s not loud because he knows Megumi is in the next room, but loud enough for him to let it out.
“You’re actually trying to control your moaning without me telling you.” Toji adds and Naoya glares at him.
“Shut up and finish me off.” Naoya jeers and Toji chuckles. Naoya uses the last energy he has in his legs and lifts his hips slightly along with Toji’s arms. Their bodies in sync as they both chasing the clenching pool in their lower gut.
Naoya’s little huffs and Toji’s pants are creating a heat between them. This time Toji kisses his lips, it's the first time he’s ever done it and Naoya accepts. His arms wrap around him and it’s different from the others — it’s not lust driven, but passionate and caring. Naoya loves it, he loves how gentle and caring Toji is despite how flawed he is. Despite how pathetic and fucked up he is, Toji still cares for him unconditionally. Naoya cums when Toji’s cock presses at his spot and from the loving kiss he’s receiving. The younger man is so affection starved that alone made him cum. His rim clenches Toji’s cock like a vice. Toji lifts him a few more times until he slams him down one more time. Naoya sits on Toji’s cock all the way to the hilt and Toji shoots his thick cum deep in him. Both their bodies shake from the endorphins as they both reach their orgasm. Toji’s hands begin to softly touching Naoya’s back. The soft touches are so foreign to Naoya, the gentle touches and affection to foreign to him he begins to sob.
They both lay naked next to each other in Toji’s bed. The gentleness and tenderness is something Naoya never experienced before especially with someone he loves. He has to repress this. He has to repress his emotions, his wants, his desires for the sake of his family. He revels in this fleeting moment. He’s enjoying the warmth he wants, the affection he wants and the touches he wants. It’s something he wants not something the family wants. Naoya lays on Toji’s arm and he sighs.
“What’s wrong Nao?” Toji knows when there’s something on his mind, he knows when there’s something wrong. He knows him too damn well.
Naoya acquiesces. “Why do you do this Toji-kun? These things with me, it’s wrong and disgusting.”
Toji turns to face him and brushes the dyed hair from of his face with a gentle smile. “Because I care about you Nao.”
Naoya can feel himself about to cry, but he knows that isn’t the full answer. He demands more, his tear filled eyes look at him and Toji acquiesces. “I… also feel guilty leaving you here... You’re forced into this position because of me. You’re suffering because of my selfishness. We only had each other and I left you all alone, I’m sorry Nao.” Toji says and Naoya listens. The answer makes him click his tongue.
“You better be sorry.” Naoya laughs and he trails his fingers over Toji’s body which moves up and down from laughter too. He jokes, but there’s sadness in him because of the guilt Toji carries because of him. “You were obviously unhappy though. Before you left, you were miserable. I could tell. I wanted to be just like you, but you weren’t really you.”
Toji chuckles at his words. “I guess so. I’m a whole lot happier that’s for sure. I don’t think I could ever be happy with a person I didn’t love, much less have a child. That’s why I love Megumi so much, he reminds me of how happy I am and the happiness I experienced once I knew what I wanted.” Toji brushes Naoya’s hair through his fingers and he looks at the younger man. His eyes are full of kindness and at the same time worry. “What about you Naoya? What’re you going to do? There’s a reason you snuck into my room and fucked me when I was sleeping.”
Naoya already knows what he’s going to do, he hates it. He does it because in the end he loves his family more than anyone else. He loves Megumi despite how coldly he treated him, Megumi still showed him kindness. He loves Toji more than anyone else. He’s willing to do things he hates because they’re his family. They’re the only family that care about him. He’ll take the abuse, the insults, the nitpicking and the unhappiness for him. Even then, in his heart he does it for his entire family — it hurts him, it stresses him, it feels like his body isn’t his own and that he has no control over his life — but he does it out of obligation and a sense of duty. It’s the right thing to do and as his position as a son, he has to do it even if he hates it.
“I’m going to see that woman. Accept the omiai, who knows maybe things will work out.” He mutters with a cold tone and Toji sighs. The older man pats his head and Naoya begins to cry. He hates it, he can’t be himself anywhere except in Toji’s arms and in his room.
“I know this was going to be the last time, but Naoya you can always come here. I care for you. You can come to me.” Toji reassures and Naoya cries loudly. He accepts his offer from those tears alone, no words as those tears tell Toji everything.
Naoya acquiesces to his family, he does this for his family and gives up his individuality and his emotional needs for them. He no longer hates Toji, no he never hated him, he was just envious of him and hurt by him. He felt abandoned and alone when he left, he always loved him. He always admired his the willpower to stand up for what he believes in, to follow his heart, his happiness and not to let his family control him or guilt him into obligations that make him unhappy. To cut the chains of familial obligation and at the same time using it to his advantage to make his only son, his happiness, have the best things in life. Naoya wishes he was like him; he wants to be happy, he wants to be himself, he wants to be loved without conditions but he can’t — his family comes first. He wishes he was like Toji, he wants to be intransigent like him but all he can do is settle for his touches and hopes it can one day rub off of him. For now he acquiesces, one day he hopes to be intransigent like him.