Chapter Text
When Jim had informed Spock that he intended to lead a landing party with only himself and a few other security officers, Spock had understandably been against the idea. James T. Kirk was known to be what Doctor McCoy liked to call a 'danger magnet'. Of course, Spock would never use that type of informal description to describe Jim's luck with away missions. However, Jim did tend to be the center of attention when it came to dangerous situations. Jim's chances of being the main target were already increased by almost 71.49% due to Jim being the captain of the most renowned and respected Starship in space. However, the chances of him being the main target due to him just being James T. Kirk were increased by almost 12.56%. Spock had tried to make sense of the whole ordeal by analyzing who Jim Kirk was.
Jim's kind and accepting personality made him more susceptible to being kidnapped by 34.92%, not to mention that his aesthetically pleasing appearance made his chances of being abducted go up by almost 46.21%. His baby blue eyes made up for 34.01% of that 46.21%. Jim also tended to make very rash decisions even if he doesn't mean to on purpose. Spock had noticed that instead of taking the logical way out of dangerous situations, Jim tended to take the long and most exciting path. Sometimes Spock wondered if Jim had a death wish.
Regardless, Spock was not very happy that Jim made him stay back on the Enterprise while he and a few officers explored the surface below. They had received a distress call from a planet just outside of Federation territory. The nature of the distress call was strange in and of itself because it had specifically been transmitted to the Enterprise and not to any ship in the vicinity. Regardless, Jim did make a valid point that it was their job to answer these calls in uncharted space. Spock could not argue with the specific plan layout of their five-year mission. That didn't mean the Vulcan was happy, however. He just knew Jim was not going to come back intact.
So, Spock was barely surprised when his comm beeped, signaling a call from the transporter room. He gently clicked the button on his captain's chair and prepared himself. "Spock here."
"Commander? You... uh... might want to come down here..." Scotty's nervous voice echoed through the transmission, leaving a giant hole in Spock's stomach. It was unlike Scotty not to give Spock at least a hint of what was happening down in the transporter room. Not to mention, those words were a bit too close to the words that continue to torment Spock in his dreams.
Sir, you'd better get down here. Better hurry.
Spock shook his head to clear those unwanted thoughts before he swiftly got up from the captain's chair. He turned on his heel, briefly making eye contact with Uhura across the way who looked at him worriedly. The entire bridge seemed to be watching him leave, obviously concerned themselves about what awaited Spock down in the transporter room.
"I will return. Lieutenant Sulu, you have the con." Spock ordered as he entered the turbolift and closed the doors behind him. He stood with his hands curled together at the small of his back; a common stance for the Vulcan. It was also a stance that prevented him from unnecessarily fidgeting, a trait he was beginning to pick up from the Terrans around him when he was nervous. Of course, feeling nervous was illogical in itself. Spock did not feel nervous; he was just... curious. Yes, curious. He wanted to know what had caused Scotty to be so distant and hesitant with his call. It's only logical for him to want to know what has come of his captain as it would severely affect the effective running of the ship.
The turbolift doors opened, and Spock stepped out quickly. The corridors were seemingly empty leading up to the turbolift, making the ordeal very, very strange. Spock debated whether he should pull out his phaser or not just in case it was some sort of trap. However, he didn't have time to pull out his phaser before he felt someone run right into his back. Spock whipped around just to hear a loud groan coming from behind him.
"What the hell, Spock?" Doctor McCoy growled, stepping back. He had his PADD in his hand, and Spock can only assume that his PADD was the reason he ran into Spock without seeing him. McCoy also held a small medkit in his hand, which was something Spock was almost accustomed to seeing the Doctor with every waking moment. "You got called down too?" McCoy grumbled, placing his PADD into his bag. Spock nodded curiously, the pit in his stomach growing uncontrollably.
"You were called down as well, doctor?"
"Of course I was. I might as well be stationed at the transporter room whenever Kirk goes down." Bones and Spock began to walk right next to each other down the hallway. "Scotty wouldn't tell me what the hell happened which makes matters even worse. I swear to God if that kid died again, I'm going to kill him."
Spock frowned. "I'm afraid I fail to see how you would end his life when he would already be dead."
"Of course." Bones muttered under his breath. Spock furrowed his eyebrows. He never understood why the Doctor always dismissed his confusion instead of actually explaining his illogical statement. This was illogical in and of itself.
Both Spock and Bones were interrupted by the distant sounds of yelling and what sounded like... barking? Before either of them could react, a small bundle of pale yellow came flying down the corridor, barking hysterically. Spock and Bones stopped dead in their tracks with Spock instinctively pulling out his phaser as he saw the creature practically fly into the doctor to his right. Spock watched as Bones dropped his medkit as he stumbled backward, trying to keep his balance as an overly excited dog jumped up and down, slapping his paws against McCoy's stomach.
"What in the bloody hell-" Bones leaned up against the wall, looking down in bewilderment at what seemed to be a golden retriever dog jumping up at him. He was barking hysterically in almost a desperate tone before the dog turned right towards Spock. The Vulcan kept his phaser pinned on the dog, having no idea where the animal came from or what its intent was. The dog whined and dropped back on the ground, staring up at Spock with bright, baby blue eyes-
Spock furrowed his eyebrows. He's seen those eyes before. They almost looked like...
"Commander!" An ensign came running from around the corner, clearly out of breath as he came to a screeching halt right in front of the three. A few others followed behind him, including Scotty and Keenser. "We're very sorry. We were planning-"
"What the hell is this?" McCoy scowled, looking down at the dog that was now sitting in the middle of the circle being formed. His eyes were still glued on Spock, almost like he was pleading with him. Pleading with him for what, Spock did not know. "Where did this dog come from, and most importantly, where the hell is Jim?" McCoy demanded as he bent down to snatch his medkit that he had dropped from the sudden attack.
"Well, sir..." The ensign started, his face turning slightly red.
"We donna exactly know where the Captain is, sir, but I believe yer lookin' at em." Scotty tilted his head right at the mutt who finally broke eye contact with Spock and looked right at Scotty. The dog barked and wagged its tail, nodding its head in a very human-like way. As illogical as that statement seemed, Spock found himself actually considering the possibility.
Bones just snorted. He looked down at the dog. "You mean to tell me that the Captain of the USS Enterprise, and most importantly, my best friend, currently has four paws and a tail? You've got to be kidding me." Bones laughed, even though his laugh slowly died out as he gained eye contact with the golden retriever. Soon, Bones was staring in disbelief and awe. "Holy shit."
"I know how crazy it sounds, sir, but it's true." One of the younger female ensigns, who Spock recognized as one of the ones Jim brought down with him on the landing party, stepped forward. "When we beamed down to the planet's surface, we were in the middle of what looked like a large castle. It was almost like a fairytale. We decided to explore in search of the cause of the distress signal, but we soon got split up. We found each other back in what looked like the main throne room where the Captain was... Well, sir, I'm not even sure what happened." The ensign frowned. "All I know is one minute the Captain was himself and the next there was a dog sitting right where he had been. That was when we were all beamed up finally."
"Jim. Jim Kirk. James T. Kirk is this dog." Bones stared blankly down at the animal, who barked and nodded in comprehension. Bones growled. "God damnit, Jim. When I told you you had the personality of a golden retriever, I didn't expect you to take it so damn seriously, you idiot!" McCoy bent down as Jim went prancing over to him, his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Spock continued to stare down at the dog, trying to wrap his head around how this was at all possible. Spock could not name many species or beings that would be able to accomplish such a task. The art of shapeshifting or causing others to shapeshift was not a common trait among many galactic species. However, the possibility of the individual who transformed Spock's Captain into a dog being unidentified by the federation was very high.
Spock cleared his throat. Before he was to jump to any conclusions, he felt the need to confirm that this dog was indeed their captain and not some other individual impersonating him. There was really only one way he could accomplish this...
"Doctor, if I may, I find this entire situation highly illogical. I believe it is of utmost importance that I confirm this canine is indeed our captain." Spock bent down and held out his hand. Jim, or the dog who was believed to be Jim, immediately came striding over to him with absolutely no hesitation. He sat right in front of the Vulcan, lifting his head up as if he knew what Spock was thinking. This was already sending alarms inside of Spock's head. His captain should not be so familiar with the Vulcan mind meld to know exactly what to expect.
Bones watched the ordeal with confusion before his eyes shot up to Spock with a warning glare. "You're not performing some strange or dangerous Vulcan-voodoo, are you? If that is Jim, I don't want you screwing around with his brain!"
"To be fair, Doctor, it seems that 'Jim' is perfectly fine with me, as you would say, 'screwing around with his brain'," Spock said calmly. "I would never incite a mind-meld with a psych null without permission. That action is of the highest crime in Vulcan society." Spock stated carefully as he looked into the dog's electric blue eyes. The human side of him was already yelling at him that this was, indeed, the Jim Kirk he knew and loved. That thought in itself alarmed the Vulcan side of him, as it brought up one of Spock's largest struggles.
Spock had broken off his relationship with Nyota Uhura exactly 3 months ago. The two had grown distant ever since the Khan incident, and they finally decided to break it off exactly two weeks after the Enterprise docked back on Earth. Although the loss of feeling was neutral, Spock knew that it was ultimately his fault for the entire situation. Spock came to a very drastic realization the day he had watched James T. Kirk die in that radiation chamber right in front of him. He had experienced heartbreak and grief before, specifically with the loss of his mother, but never before did Spock feel like he had lost a part of him due to another's death. As illogical as it may sound, Spock felt like a small part of him died along with Jim that day, hence why he lost control so easily after. Spock felt grief like he had never felt before and also felt anger in an amount he didn't think was possible, given his mental barriers.
As soon as Dr. McCoy had brought Jim back due to Khan's blood, Spock felt his emotional stability return. It was almost like that piece of himself came right back to him and filled in the gaping hole it had left earlier. At first, he didn't understand what that feeling meant, but after three days of meditation, Spock figured it out.
Spock was in love with James T. Kirk.
Not just in a romantic way. Spock lived for Jim. Jim was his very being. His very existence.
James T. Kirk was his T'hy'la.
When Jim had died, Spock experienced not only the emotional anguish of losing his closest friend, but he also experienced the anguish of an unformed T'hy'la bond breaking. Part of his Katra was destroyed along with Jim's, causing him to lose control and become emotionally compromised within seconds. T'hy'la bonds were extraordinarily rare, and because of that, they were extremely sacred and strong connections between two beings. And Spock seemed to share one with his Captain. He could now feel the abandoned bond in the back of his mind, waiting patiently for the time when Jim and Spock would completely bond with each other. This, of course, was a situation Spock could only dream of. He knew that Jim most likely did not share his feelings and probably never would. Spock would just have to live with the premature T'hy'la bond for the rest of this life since he would never, ever force it upon his captain.
Spock was suddenly pushed out his thoughts as he felt a paw hit his leg. He looked down as saw Jim's paw laying awkwardly on his knee, waiting for Spock to initiate the meld to confirm Jim was who he claimed to be. Spock quickly pushed aside all his personal thoughts (for he didn't want his thoughts to bleed over into Jim's mind) before he placed his hand on Jim's psych points. He had never melded with an animal before, but he had a good enough idea of where to place his fingers.
"My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts." Spock murmured quietly before he was promptly surrounded by the warmth and comfort of his T'hy'la's mind.