Chapter Text
The moving truck beeped as it backed into the driveway of the quaint suburban house. Two stories high, it had white paint and a mailbox by the street with the name “Queen” written on it. Oliver and Felicity stood there together, Oliver’s arm around Felicity’s waist.
“I can’t believe we actually agreed to this,” said Oliver. He looked at the house, and then at Felicity. “I’m really not good at this whole domestic thing.”
Felicity chuckled. “Smile, Oliver. We’re newlyweds, remember?”
Oliver leaned in slowly and kissed her on the cheek. He kept his lips close to her face, his breath hot on her cheek. “And we’re trying to catch a spy with stolen information. I haven’t forgotten.”
Felicity blushed and breathed deeply. “Come on, let’s go in the house,” she said. Oliver dropped his arm from her shoulder and held onto her hand. They came to the doorstep and Felicity paused before they could enter.
“Why aren’t we going inside?” asked Oliver, confused as to why they had stopped before the door.
“Because supposedly this is our first house. Tradition for married couples...you’re supposed to carry me over the threshold,” she whispered while glancing around the neighborhood. She didn’t think anyone was watching, but you never could be sure.
Oliver quickly picked her up, sweeping her legs out from under her. The movement surprised Felicity, even though she was the one who had suggested the action. She let out a small yelp of surprise.
“Come on, Mrs. Queen. Time to enter our new home.” He opened the door and carried Felicity inside. Once they were inside, he closed the door and they both breathed a sigh of relief.
“So you can’t do domestic well and I can’t do undercover very well. What an exciting team we make,” said Felicity dryly. They sat on the couch and looked at their new home. Well, the home ARGUS had set up for them. In fact all the movers were actually ARGUS agents. They probably had bugs planted all over the house. Felicity decided not to think about that.
“You know maybe that just means we can help each other,” said Oliver. “We’ll be just fine. We’ve handled much worse than just a spy.”
Felicity nodded in agreement, thinking back on all their terrifying foes, particularly Slade. “Hopefully we at least have interesting neighbors.”
“Well one of them is a spy,” replied Oliver.
As if on cue, the doorbell rang.
Felicity got up. “I guess that’s my cue to go be the cute wife.” She opened the door to find a woman with dirty blonde hair, sharp features, and thick eyeshadow at her door.
“Hi! Welcome to the neighborhood! I’m Natalie, I live right across the street from y’all. It’s so nice to meet you. I hope you like green bean casserole because that’s what I brought!” The woman waved a glass dish full of a creamy green mush. Oh god there was something brown on top. She handed it to Felicity who held onto it carefully.
Felicity’s eyes opened wide in surprise, and her stomach churned in disgust. “Hi, I’m Felicity, it’s nice to meet you.” She shook Natalie’s hand and gave her a big smile.
“Hi Felicity. Oh you just seem so sweet, we are going to get along so well! We’re having a barbecue tomorrow night over at our house to welcome you and your husband to the neighborhood,” she said. “It’s at six o’clock and you better come!” She pointed at Felicity and laughed.
Felicity tossed back her head in forced laughter. “Of course we’ll come, Natalie! I can’t wait to see you there.”
Felicity shut the door as soon as she could and sighed. “Oliver, we have our dinner for tonight!” she shouted. She found her undercover husband tinkering around in the living room behind the TV.
“Felicity the TV isn’t connected,” he stated, not looking up from his work. “I don’t think the DVD player is either. I thought ARGUS would do that for us.”
Felicity coughed. “Ahem.”
Oliver didn’t pay attention.
“Ahem!”
Still nothing from Oliver.
“Oliver!” shouted Felicity, the green bean casserole nearly flying from her hand. She carefully set the glass dish on the kitchen counter and stood in the living room right behind Oliver.
“What?” he asked.
“I graduated from MIT with a degree in Computer Science. With honors. Let me get the TV working?”
Oliver stood up. “Good luck.” He walked over to the kitchen where the green bean casserole sat. “Felicity what the hell is this?”
“Dinner,” muttered Felicity from behind the TV. “One of our neighbors gave it to us.”
Oliver removed some of the saran wrap from the corner and dipped his finger in it. He popped the fingerful of casserole into his mouth and nearly gagged. “Are our neighbors trying to poison us? That is disgusting.”
Felicity stood up from her work. “Our electronic system is all connected. Now what’s this about the casserole?”
The doorbell rang again. Oliver and Felicity stared at each other.
“I got it last time it’s your turn!” exclaimed Felicity, pointing at Oliver.
Oliver frowned and clenched his fists in frustration. “Dammit.” He walked over to the door and threw it open with a smile. Several moments later, he came back with yet another casserole dish in hand.
“Well Felicity, we now have corn casserole to eat for dinner.” He set the casserole dish on the counter.
Felicity grimaced. “What is it with these suburban neighbors all coming over and giving us elaborate casseroles that are marginally good at best?”
The doorbell rang. Through the next half hour or so various neighbors came by bringing a wide variety of dishes: casseroles, lasagna, cookies, pie, even a stew.
“Do you think they’re done?” asked Oliver.
Felicity shook her head. “I certainly hope so.”
“Well I don’t know about you, but I’m getting hungry. What do you want for dinner?” asked Oliver.
Felicity stared at all the food on the counter. “Wanna order pizza? There’s a bottle of wine in the fridge, too.”
Oliver smiled. “Throw out everything except for the dessert?”
Felicity stood up and opened the fridge. “You read my mind. Come on, I’ll order the pizza, you grab the wine. We are going to enjoy ourselves tonight while we can. Tomorrow the real work begins with the barbecue. But for now, we feast on greasy pizza and wine.”