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You hadn’t felt this happy in months. In fact, the memory of the last time you held your arms up high and sang at the top of your lungs was such a distant one it barely felt real at all. If you squinted, maybe the thought of Sam came into play.
It was hard now to recall the feeling of him smiling at you.
Two months since you moved out and the most you had heard from him was a text message about the cardigan he found stashed in the back of the closet. He had bought it for you when you first met during a cold New York night out. You had replied with a simple keep it, happy birthday and forgot about the exchange altogether as if it had never happened at all. He didn’t reach out again.
But as his birthday came to pass, yours was just on the horizon. It was all blue skies and a house full of people you loved and some you didn’t recognize at all (you can thank Natasha for that), but it was loud laughter, and beer sipped out of red cups that made it feel so much like you.
God, it made you feel loved.
“Y/N!” A voice exclaimed from the crowd of people, catching your attention right as Wanda made you snort from laughter at her terrible sitcom-style jokes. It was none other than the golden boy himself, Steve Rogers, and you couldn’t the giddy smile and laugh as you ran to tackle him in a hug.
You were thankful, above anything, that The Avengers never chose a side in the breakup. They loved you, and they loved Sam. It was as simple as that.
Giggling like a madwoman, you felt him lift you off the floor and spin you around. “Rogers!” You greeted, beaming up at him as he placed you back down gently and was greeted why the others at the party.
“How’s the birthday girl?”
“Still younger than you.”
“Touche,” he chuckled and shook his head. “You care to dance?”
It was some song playing that you didn’t recognize, and you wondered who had made the playlist for this evening.
The offer made you smile nonetheless; after all, who could pass up a chance to dance with the one and only Captain America?
With a simple nod, you were swept up by your friend into the middle of the living room as the sounds of piano and guitar filled the house. Steve kept his hands on your waist, never moving even an inch in either direction. Your hands rested on his shoulders, holding him close.
“You talk to Sam lately?” He tried, ever the peacekeeper. If you had better news for him, you would have loved to give it.
“No, not since before his birthday. I don’t think I will. It’s not meant to be, you know? I have clarity now about what happened.”
Steve nodded, stoic as ever about the situation. “He still loves you, you know? Anything that happened; that doesn’t change it.”
You knew. You knew because you felt it too and maybe always would. He wasn’t your first love, but perhaps he was your greatest, your worst, the one that leaves a scar you can never heal from.
You knew because you loved him too.
“I get that, Steve, but it’s not that simple. Not after everything.”
Steve had opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by Tony loudly exclaiming, “holy shit!” Over the music as the front door of Wanda and Visions house was propped open and there stood Sam in the doorway.
“Y/n,” he breathed out. “Happy birthday?” He asked, more like a question than anything else, like he didn’t know what else to say to break the awkward tension.
It felt like all the air in your body had been forced out by one big punch. It would have knocked you on your ass if Steve hadn’t been there to catch you. “What the hell are you doing here?” You asked, weakly but not quiet.
“Y/n,” Sam tried again. “I can’t breathe without you. Shit, no, that’s corny. I just- can we talk?”
“Anything you have to say can be said here, Sam. Just get on with it.” It was a little shorter than you intended, but it’s all you could think of.
Silence for a minute, you almost assume he would leave and then he steeled as he stood on the porch. “I showed up at your party. I’m swallowing my pride in front of all our stupid friends. Bucky is the stupid one.” He pointed out, a muffled laugh escaped from you.
“I know what happened, okay? I stopped caring. I took you for granted. That? That was the worst fucking thing I have ever done. I know you think I cheated, but I promise I didn’t. I swear, it was just a long car ride with an agent who wears too much perfume. I would never hurt you like that. I hurt you in a lot of other ways, but I just,” he sighed. “I showed up at your party; I want you; I’m wearing his goddamn cardigan because it’s the only thing I have left that reminds me of you.”
You stared at him, shellshocked, unable to move or stay much of anything in return to his ramblings of love and apology. He hurt you, unimaginably so, and that doesn’t erase with well-timed confessions and verbal promises he had made before.
It was hard to think with every pair of eyes in the room on you, awaiting an answer you didn’t know how to give.
“You weren’t invited,” you croaked out, unsure of what else to say at this moment that wouldn’t seal a fate you weren’t sure of yet. You felt Steve shift behind you, and it clicked in your head just as fast as you turned to shoot daggers at him. “I kinda told him where the party would be, and when, and every other vital piece of information.”
You wondered how much it would hurt to punch a super soldier in the jaw.
“I saw you dance with him,” Sam nodded between you two. “Baby, I don’t know anything. But I know I miss you.” You nodded, looking down at the ground at the unwanted attention made you feel small, and the feeling of Steve backing away almost caught you off guard until you felt warm hands cup either side of your cheeks.
It felt right; it felt like coming home.
You had never thought that a person could be a home, but Sam had proven you so wrong.
With the front door still open, wind rustling your hair just slightly, you stood on your tiptoes to conjoin your lips to his. It was soft, subtle, almost nothing at all at first until Thor cheered out in a roar at the sight, and Sam took your smile as the good ahead to hold you just a little bit closer and kiss you just a bit harder.
The applause seemed unnecessary, but it still made you laugh at your friend’s antics and the way Wanda was grinning at Vision like it was the ending to her favourite episode.
“I love you,” Sam whispered into the shell of your ear.
“Now, let’s party!” He cheered, wrapping one arm around your waist as he was directed to the drinks with Steve and Bucky already pouring cheap beer to hand around.
“I love you more.” You whispered back, leaning into his arms and feeling him sway slightly to the music. “But I want my cardigan back.” You teased, sneaking out of his arms to find Peter as he watched you with a shocked grin.
This time, he ran right after you, holding you closer than he ever had.