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Farah was sitting in her office using the silence of the early evening to take care of paperwork when she suddenly felt a familiar presence interrupt the solitude. Without moving she unlocked and opened the door for the intruder. The fairy raised her eyebrows in surprise as her specialist entered, a half asleep toddler nestled into his arms. The boy was in pajamas, but Saul was dressed for a mission. He was also juggling two duffel bags and a small blue backpack with a worn stuffed dog sticking out. Seeing him struggle with everything he was carrying, the fairy moved quickly around the desk and gently lifted the small blonde boy out of his arms. She positioned the toddler on her hip and rested her head on top of his, once he had flopped it down onto her shoulder. She watched curiously as Saul set down the backpack and one of the duffels before lifting the other higher onto his shoulder.
“Luna’s called me in for a mission.” He told her, his voice low and measured, so as not to disturb the sleeping boy.
Farah’s brow furrowed in confusion. “She didn’t say anything to me.”
“It’s not us, Farah, just me.”
Anxiety blossomed in her chest. Her eyes flared white and the knicknacks in the room rattled briefly before settling. Reflexively, the fairy clutched the small boy closer to her and tried to regulate her breathing. It had only been a few years since the terrible events at Aster Dell, and in those few years Saul and Farah had never been far apart. “No.” She whispered.
“It’s not an option. She’s called me in on my commission.”
“You’re my guard though.”
Saul shrugged. “She’s the queen. You know the law better than I do.”
Farah let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes. “Where?”
“I don’t know. Won’t know until I reach the rendezvous point. I’ll have to go radio silent too.”
“How long?”
The specialist shrugged again, looking both guilty at not having better answers and nervous. “Details are sketchy. But I can’t imagine I’ll be gone more than a week.”
“A week.” She confirmed flatly.
With a sigh, he set the bag down and moved into her space. Saul ran his hand down the back of Sky’s head and placed a soft kiss to Farah’s forehead. “It will go by fast, Farah. Especially with Sky to keep you busy.” He reassured her. “It will be okay.” With one final kiss to her forehead, he picked back up the duffel and walked out of her office.
I put away the groceries
And I take my daily bread
I dream of your arms around me
As I tuck the kids in bed
A week quickly became a month with no word. Farah had long since had to break into the headmaster’s chambers to bring more of Sky’s things to hers. In fact, it was looking more and more like the boy lived with her as time went on.
She had settled into a new routine, one that revolved around Sky, who was handling the separation about as well as she was. Each morning she made them breakfast before taking him to her office where Ben brought Terra and Sam, so he could teach his morning classes. She spent some time teaching them, and let them play in a designated corner she had set up for that purpose. The shield she kept around it often gave her a small headache, but it was worth the price to keep them contained. That lesson had been learned at the two week mark, when a fight between Sam and Sky had resulted in a crystal figurine shattering. The small doe had been unrepairable and a gift from Saul. She had held back the tears until she was alone that day, but the ache had been practically unbearable.
After lunch, Farah would take the three children to the greenhouse where Ben watched them while she taught. Sky’s separation anxiety weighed on her. Every afternoon, despite preparing him and reminding him, Sky started to scream and struggle in her arms as soon as he saw the greenhouse. Although he loved Ben, and was happy to play once she had been gone for a while, he cried and begged to stay with her when they arrived. Each day Ben had to pry Sky off her, and each day she stood outside the doors crying silently as she waited for him to settle once she was out of sight.
In the evenings, when she picked Sky up, he was clingy and demanded to be carried everywhere. Sometimes they had dinner with the Harveys, sometimes if Sky was very quiet and needy she simply took him back to her rooms and they ate there.
Each night, she tucked him into the too large guest bed in her suite. Each night the boy asked after his “papa.” At first, knowing Saul felt too guilty to allow himself to adopt Sky, she would correct him and remind him that the man was “Uncle Saul.” But by the one month mark, she didn’t have the heart to do so anymore. And so each night, she tried to reassure Sky that Saul was okay, without lying about what she did and didn’t really know.
I don’t know what you’re doing
And I don’t know where you are
But I look up at that great big sky
And I hope you’re wishing on that same bright star.
After two months, Farah had to admit that she had no idea when Saul was going to return. Every night she tugged on their bond, but he was far away and felt like little more than an echo in her mind. The last time she had snuck into his rooms, to finally grab the last of Sky’s clothing, she had also grabbed a few of Saul’s tee shirts and she wore them to bed each night, desperate to feel some connection.
Ben had begun to worry after both her and Sky was well. Admittedly, with good reason, she knew. Her appetite had all but faded, and it was becoming difficult to hide the circles under her eyes, even with make up. Sky was not doing any better. He had begun regressing, sucking his thumb, refusing to talk, and increasingly clingy. “We don’t know when Saul is going to come back.” Ben told her bluntly one evening, as they sat on the couch in her quarters having tea. “Sky, and you, need to have some stability. You have to stop living on the edge of a breath Farah.”
She dropped her eyes to the swirling dark liquid in her cup. “I know, but Ben...”
The earth fairy reached out and grabbed her hand gently. “Start with a small thing. Sky lives here now. Indefinitely. Accept that, give him the stability of knowing he always has a home with you.”
Farah thought about the guest room that Sky was staying in. Although his toys were strewn across the room, and her living room and office to be honest, the furniture was still her guest room set. His clothes were in the closet, but the walls were painted a soft grey she found soothing, and admittedly wasn’t really kid friendly. “You’re right.” She agreed after a moment. “Will you help me make that his room?”
Ben’s smile was soft and encouraging. “Of course.”
The next day was thankfully a Saturday. Farah let a couple of the older students babysit, giving Sky, Terra and Sam to the teens. Luckily, one of the girls had been an orphan and was familiar with things like separation anxiety. She didn’t bat an eye at Sky’s temper tantrum as Ben dragged Farah out of the room. After leaving the children, Ben and Farah spent the morning clearing the furniture out of the room and storing it in an empty room further down the hall from her suite. That afternoon, they painted the room with bright blue and white stripes. Farah found it dizzying at first, but once they started putting up bookshelves, and hanging pictures of trains and puppies, the stripes provided a vibrancy that reminded her of the toddler when he was happy and secure. A dragon bed and dressers completed the room. Although she had brought over his items from Saul’s rooms, she chose to buy all new furniture and art for his new room. She wasn’t sure if she did it so that if Saul came home Sky would have a bedroom in both of their suites, or if it was out of fear that there would be bad memories if Saul didn’t come home. Either way, she decided that it felt like the best decision. As Ben went to pick up Sky from the students who were babysitting, she put a picture of Saul and Sky on the night table, so he could see his “papa” and say good night to him before bed.
Sky’s eyes were wide as he took in the room, once Ben brought him in. For the first time since Saul left, he squirmed to be put down, and wandered the room, picking up certain toys and moving them, touching the wall and the bed gently. “Mine?” He asked uncertainly.
Farah bit her lip to keep from crying and squeezed Ben’s hand tightly. It was the first real word Sky had said in days. “It’s yours Sky.” She told him. “All of it is yours.”
He smiled, and ran to her, wrapping his arms around her legs. “I’m yours?” He asked as he hugged her.
This time she couldn’t fully hold back the sob as she knelt so they were eye to eye. “Absolutely.” She promised him. “Forever and ever.”
“And I’m Papa’s?” He asked, a quiver in his voice.
“And you’re Papa’s.” She assured him.
“Can we show Papa today?”
Farah couldn’t help but close her eyes, her heart breaking. “Papa isn’t home today.” She reminded the boy.
Sky’s eyes filled with tears and he put his thumb in his mouth, suddenly silent again. Desperately, Farah looked up at Ben for help. The earth fairy sighed and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It will take time Farah. But he talked today.” She nodded, clinging to that thought, and desperately trying to think of a way to do more to help Sky.
It was hours later, as Farah was tucking Sky in, that she saw a star glowing brightly outside of the window and came up with an idea. Gently she kissed the boy’s forehead, and told him she would be right back. Farah walked quickly back to her office, where she grabbed a jar of lavender and blue dragons tears that she kept for teaching precision. She carried the jar back into the room and set it on the nightstand, before fishing out one glass stone of each color. “While we wait for Papa to get home, do you want to send him wishes and dreams?” She asked.
Sky wiggled back into a sitting position and pulled his thumb out of his mouth, waiting. Farah held up the lavender stone. “We can use magic. You can whisper a wish for Papa to this stone, and a dream you want him to have to the blue stone. Then I can use magic to send the stones to him so he can have your wish and dream.”
The toddler held out his hand, patiently waiting as she dropped the lavender stone into his hand. Then he put it up to his lips and whispered loudly, “I wish you come home soon Papa.” He held out his hand again to trade stones, before whispering to the blue stone all about his room. When he was done Farah gently lifted the stones with her magic and sent them out of the window. Gently she left them to rest on a cornice that Sky wouldn’t see.
“There.” She told Sky with a forced smile. “Now Papa can dream about your room.”
The boy launched himself into her arms. “Thank you, Auntie Fawa!” He squeezed her tightly before flopping back onto the bed happily.
Worried that she may get the boy’s hopes up too high, Farah brushed his hair back as she tucked him back in and cautioned him. “Remember that wishes can take a while to come true, so Papa may still be gone a long time.”
The boy nodded solemnly. “Okay.”
I wonder, I pray
I sleep alone
I cry alone
And it’s so hard living here on my own
So please come home soon
Come home soon
Farah stared blankly at the date on the phone screen, willing the phone to ring, even as she brushed the soft blonde hair of the little boy who had woken up in the middle of the night and crawled into her bed. It had been three months. Three months of worry and exhaustion. Three months of carrying Sky’s fear as well as her own. Three months of juggling the duties to the specialists and fairies. Three months of being a sudden single mother. If it hadn’t been for Ben she wasn’t sure how she would have made it this far. But Ben could only do so much.
Sky had become so attached to her that she had to ensure he was napping before she left to teach. And the last time Ben had tried to take Sky overnight, the boy had snuck away and gotten lost trying to find her rooms. Luckily one of the battalion that knew Saul, Andreas and Sky had found him. Marco had handed the sniffing toddler over to her at two a.m. It was the last time she had tried to have Sky stay with Ben.
Occasionally, Terra and Sam would spend the night with her. Although Sky was barely speaking, the three toddlers still seemed to do fine communicating with each other, and it at least allowed her the evening to spend time with Ben, without Sky needing her constant attention. It was the only real break she ever got.
Farah was not one for prayer, her own faith vague and nebulous. But as the date mocked her and the toddler curled up in her bed sucked his thumb in his sleep, she found herself begging in her own head. “Please come home Saul.” She whispered as tears started to fall. “We need you.”
The next morning she woke up to a gentle tugging of her hair. Opening her eyes slowly, she realized Sky was sitting up in the bed, pulling on one of her curls and staring at her. She sat up, trying to gently dislodge the toddler’s fingers from where they were tangled into her hair. Sky tightened his grip and crawled into her lap. With a soft sigh she adjusted him to sit more comfortably and wrapped an arm around him. “Are you hungry?” She asked softly. The boy shook his head.
“Do you want to go play?” Again, the only response was the boy shaking his head.
Swallowing hard against the tears that filled her eyes, she tried again. “Are you sad Sky?” This time the boy nodded, and buried his face against her shoulder. “Do you want to tell me about it?” Sky shook his head again. “How can I help?” She asked.
Big blue eyes looked up at her. He untangled his hand from her hair, pulling it as he did and pushed his finger against her forehead. Somehow, the boy had learned, or figured out, that she was a mind fairy. Once he had, he doubled down on refusing to talk, except when sending the wishes and dreams to Saul, instead insisting she simply read his mind. Because Farah knew, and had called an old classmate who was a child therapist to confirm, that it was not good for Sky to rely on her reading his mind to the detriment of his speaking, she tried very hard to refuse. “Sky, you can use your words, and I would like you to.” She told him.
The boy frowned, balled up a fist and punched her in the shoulder before pressing his finger even harder into her forehead. She matched his frown. “Hitting is not okay.” She told him sternly. “You need to use your words.”
The way he glared at her was not the arrogant taunting glare of his birth father, but it matched the stubborn unhappy look her specialist sent her way when Saul felt she was being reckless. She met the glare impassively until the boy scrambled off her lap and stomped back to his room. He never shut his door, even mad, and so it was only moments later when she heard him crying. She hung her head, feeling like she was failing at taking care of the child, before dragging herself out of bed to shower and get dressed. By the time she was done getting ready, the crying had stopped. She peaked into the room, to see the boy, clutching tightly to the stuffed dog Saul had bought him when he was born, and fast asleep.
With a guilty sigh, she went to the kitchen to start tea and sent a text to Ben, asking him to bring Terra and Sam to her room for the morning, so that Sky could continue to sleep.
I know that we’re together
Even though we’re far apart
And I’ll wear our lucky penny
Round my neck pressed to my heart
She was in her office, trying to get through grading, when she felt someone enter the space. She kept the door closed, hoping that whomever it was would see the closed door and leave. Her time to get extra work done was limited with Sky’s separation anxiety, and the need to divide her time between the specialists and fairies. The fact that Ben had text her as her classes were ending to tell her that the three toddlers were contentedly watching a movie, and suggested she take the time for herself was rare. She knew Ben meant for her to take some actual time for her own needs; that he would tell her to read a book or enjoy a quiet bath and some music. But the quiet was too much for her, because it meant she focused on the quiet in her head, where Saul was too far to be his usual presence in the back of her mind. There was still only the soft echo of his heartbeat, and only when she concentrated. As a result, she had decided to use the time to work.
The intruder didn’t seem to take the hint, however, and instead knocked. “Headmistress?” The hesitant voice called out from the other side. With a sigh, Farah realized the intruder was a battalion member and a specialist. She let the door swing open and met the uncertain gaze of the dark haired girl.
“Noura. What can I do for you?”
Taking the question as an invitation, Noura moved quickly to stand in front of the desk. It was then that Farah realized the specialist had something in her hand. “I’m partnered with Macro, and its nothing special but we’re good friends, you know?” She watched until Farah nodded to continue. “I couldn’t imagine being separated from him as a combat partner for months.”
Noura swallowed. “And today, I had to go into Headmaster Silva’s office for some maps. While I was there I saw this hairpin.” She opened her hand, and Farah saw the silver stick, with the diamond butterfly on top. “I asked him about it once.” The girl explained in the wake of the fairy’s continued silence. “He told me that you saved his life with it, and that he kept it, because it was his good luck charm.” Farah simply continued to stare at the object, hypnotized and amazed that Saul had it all that time. It had been one of her favorite hair pins, but when the creature had attacked Saul, she had thrown it like a knife without a thought, embedding the end into the creature’s neck. She had thought it lost forever.
“I thought,” Noura continued quietly, “that since it was his good luck charm, maybe you’d like to hold on to it, until he comes home.”
Farah reached out a shaky hand to take the hair pin, and slide it into her hair. “Thank you.” She told the specialist hoarsely.
Noura’s nod was jerky, it was clear that she had no idea what to do with Farah’s emotional state. The girl all but fled the room, and Farah waved the door shut behind her. The paperwork sat untouched from that point on. Instead, with the pin secured in her hair, Farah pushed her magic further than she had ever tried, disregarding the headache it was causing her, to reach out to her specialist. The bright glow that was her magic’s recognition of him flared once, before fading back to an echo. Then Ben text her that the movie was over and Sky was pointing to the door insistently, his sign that he wanted to come find her.
I wonder, I pray
I sleep alone
I cry alone
And its so hard living here on my own
So please come home soon
Another month passed. Farah pushed through the pain and worry, which was starting to pulse through the student body as well, to keep going. She heard the whispers among the students, wondering if their headmaster was dead. She knew even Ben was starting to have doubts. She refused to consider it. But, in the privacy of her rooms, she was a mess. And although she tried to hide it from Sky, the toddler was perceptive for his age.
The boy had begun relocating his stuffed animals, all except the dog he carried everywhere, into her bed. Each day she put them back on his toy chest, and each night she found them piled on her comforter. He had started talking again, although only a little and only to herself, Ben, Terra and Sam. If anyone else was around he was silent. Additionally, any time someone he didn’t know, or someone in uniform was around her, the boy hung on her, either insisting on being carried, or latched on to her legs.
She had sent an email to her friend who was the psychologist, asking if Sky could start meeting with her. Two weeks into the appointments, the woman had delicately suggested that Farah too start attending therapy, and set her up with another professional in the same office to meet with while Sky was in his sessions.
Farah was surprised at how helpful the sessions were, not only in trying to deal with her worries about Sky and her own fears and anxiety at the lack of information about Saul, but also in processing Asterdell and her time in Rosalind’s army. It was also in those sessions that she finally admitted that somewhere along the way, she had fallen in love with the specialist.
Still, she and Sky settled into a new normal, one that looked like it would stabilize. Sky was starting to speak again, but as a concession to the same and a way to make sure Sky felt special and connected to her, she started speaking to him mind-to-mind. Just little things, like reminding him she loved him when he was with Ben in the afternoons and she was between classes. At six months without Saul, and with several weeks of therapy, the toddler had quietly asked to call her “Mama.” She had discussed it with his counselor, and the woman had assured her it was natural and appropriate. In fact, the therapist had even suggested that when Saul returned, he allow Sky to continue to call him “papa.”
As he recovered, Sky became more and more active. One morning she woke to find him zooming around her living room. When she asked what he was doing, he told her he was trying to be the fastest person ever.
Her smile was both amused and resigned as she took in the tables, lamps and chairs that had been knocked down and strewn across the room. “Maybe practicing being that fast is an outside activity Sky.”
The boy tracked her gaze at the mess around the room and looked sheepish. “Sorry Mama.” He tried to pick up the table next to him and struggled with the furniture. With a smile, Farah let her magic right the mess. Wide blue eyes met hers. “Was that magic?”
“It was.” The fairy reassured the boy.
“Why do I have to pick up my toys? If you can do magic?”
Farah laughed and picked the boy up, settling him on her hip as she walked to the kitchen to start breakfast. “Because they’re your toys, and your responsibility.”
“Does Papa pick up his toys with magic?” Sky asked as she settled him into a chair.
“No. Papa picks up just like you do.”
Sky’s long drawn out “oh,” was thoughtful. And then, with a speed Farah was only starting to get used to, Sky’s thoughts wandered. “Can I have waffles? And chocolate?”
Farah turned and raised an eyebrow. “Chocolate is not a breakfast food.”
“Papa gave me waffles with chocolate.” The boy pouted.
Farah shook her head, familiar with Saul’s sweet tooth and the chocolate syrup he often put on his breakfast foods. “No. But, if you’re very good today, I’ll let you stay up late and help me make chocolate chip cookies for snack tomorrow.”
Sky sat up very straight in his chair. “Okay!” Then he looked suspicious. “But still waffles?”
Farah laughed.
That afternoon, Farah called Noura into her office. The young woman entered nervously, her eyes flickering quickly to and from the diamond butterfly still in the headmistress’s hair. “Is something wrong headmistress?” The specialist asked, shifting from foot to foot.
Farah smiled gently at her. “You’re no longer a student here Noura, you can call me Farah.” The girl’s face showed her uncertainly and disbelief. Farah gave her a half smile. “I actually wanted to talk to you about Sky. He has far too much energy. I was hoping, since Saul isn’t back yet, and Sky is almost four, you might be willing to spend an hour or two in the afternoon with him, starting to teach him some of the athletic skills he will need as a specialist?”
Noura’s eyes widened. “You want me to train him?”
“Yes.” Farah assured her. “Saul thinks very highly of you. You’re skilled, but not arrogant or aggressive. And Sky likes you.”
The girl blushed at the compliment. “Thank you. I’d be happy to start working with him.”
Farah stood from behind her desk. “Excellent, if you have time, we can go get him now. He’s been trying to practice being the fastest person alive. Which is resulting in a lot of overturned furniture, and some upset plants in the greenhouse, as you can imagine.”
Noura couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her as she followed the fairy towards the greenhouse.
I still imagine your touch
It’s beautiful missing something that much
But sometimes love needs a fighting chance
So I’ll wait my turn until its our turn to dance
Farah sat on the bench near the specialist training fields watching Noura and Sky essentially playing tag. The boy’s laughter echoed and she found herself smiling as his lighthearted joy poked at the back of her mind. For a moment she felt her bond with Saul flare, as if he could feel Sky through her too, and the cool blue sensation she recognized as his wrapped around the yellow ball of Sky’s energy that had taken up residence in her mind. She wondered, momentarily, if the specialist was closer, but after a second the bond re-settled back into the soft quiet echo, and she realized it had either been wishful thinking, or maybe that he was trying to reach out at the same time she had been. Still, she pulled the feeling close, allowing herself to fall into the memories of his mind brushing hers.
Her thoughts were interrupted when someone sat beside her on the bench. She turned, startled out of her reverie, to see Ben. With a soft smile, she leaned against him. They sat silently for a while, simply listening to Sky and Noura’s laughter, before Farah realized that the earth fairy’s two toddlers were not with him. “Where are Sam and Terra?”
Ben lifted the baby monitor he had hooked to his belt. “Sleeping, thank heaven.”
Farah let out a huff. “Lucky you. I haven’t been able to get Sky to take a nap for the past three days. I think he might be done with them.”
Ben chuckled. “Well, maybe he’ll start sleeping better at night then?”
Farah rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Not so far, but I hope so. I don’t know how Saul got any teaching done raising Sky. I haven’t slept more than three hours at a time since left.”
“I think he was sleeping through the night with Saul, Farah.” Ben told her hesitantly. Farah took a deep breath and tried to release her worry that she wasn’t doing enough for Sky as she let it out. “Sky’s still not fully back to normal,” Ben reminded her, rubbing her arm soothingly. “Neither are you. Don’t think I don’t notice the way you zone out regularly. Or the fact that you take even less breaks than you used to, or how tense you get when you hear a car door.”
Farah shrugged. “It’s too quiet in my mind if I’m not busy.”
Ben sighed, and she heard the worry and a little bit of judgment in the sound. She knew both came from a place of love and concern, but she actively ignored the obvious indication that he wanted her to keep talking. “Sky’s birthday is in two months.” Ben started, when she chose not to respond.
“I know.”
“Have you thought of what you will want to do for it?”
She shook her head. “I’m sure Saul will want to plan it.”
“Farah..” Ben’s tone was stern.
“Not yet Ben.” She insisted, turning her gaze to the trees above the bench, who had lost all of their leaves in response to the coming winter. “It will be the first big milestone without him, if he doesn’t come back.”
“You can’t wallow in this pain Farah. I’m sure your therapist has said the same.”
The woman nodded, still tracking the twisted grey branches above them. “She has. But, there is something beautiful in the pain too. Like these trees. They’re dead, for now at least, but there is still something grand and awe inspiring about them.”
Ben frowned but looked up as well. “Next month.” He told her firmly.
Farah nodded, her head still tilted up. “Next month.” She promised.
“Mama, Mama!” A voice interrupted her. Farah looked down just in time to catch the blond toddler who leapt up at her, Noura approaching out of breath behind him. “Mama, I caught a frog!” The boy told her, thrusting the squirming creature into her face. Farah swallowed a shriek, having never liked amphibians, and leaned back involuntarily.
With a laugh, Ben reached over and gently pulled the creature from Sky’s too tight grip, holding it loosely and soothing it with a gentle touch and a little magic. “You must have been very quick to catch him.” Ben complimented the boy, redirecting his attention. Sky wiggled in her lap so that he was facing Ben and reached back out for the frog. Ben pulled the creature back a little ways and tipped his head to peer at Sky over his glasses. “You have to be gentle Sky.” He instructed. “Frogs aren’t like little boys, they are soft and can get hurt very easily.”
Sky’s eyes widened as he took in that knowledge. He reached his hand back out, pointing his index finger and slowly ran it down the frog’s back. “He is soft!”
Farah caught Noura’s eyes over Sky’s head and shared a smile with her. The specialist was still breathing heavily, and so Farah silently released her to go. With a grateful smile, Noura jogged away, after realizing that Sky was too invested in peppering the earth fairy with questions to say goodbye to her. After she left, Farah tipped her head back again, letting it fall and closed her eyes, listening to the conversation around her. She must have fallen asleep, because she she was suddenly startled by a tugging on her sleeve. “Mama, can I keep him?”
Farah sat up to see that the boy in her lap once again held the frog, thrust in front of her face, albeit in a far more gentle grip. “I don’t think so.” She choked out, once again leaning back away from the creature.
Sky pouted, his brow furrowing and lower lip jutting out. “How am I supposed to show him to Papa when he gets home?”
“Maybe you can catch him again?” Farah suggested, her voice strangled.
Ben chuckled and she glared a him. He was well aware of how she felt about amphibious creatures. With a broad grin, Ben stood. “You know Sky, frogs really like their ponds. How about we take him to show Terra and Sam, and then you three can help me build a home for him in the green house. That way he has a good home, and you can show him to Papa when he gets back.”
The boy bounced off Farah’s lap, his grip momentarily tightening on the creature, before he relaxed it again. A moment after, his excitement faded some, a bit of the separation anxiety he still wrestled with a little bleeding into her mind. “Okay?” He asked.
“Of course its okay.” Farah assured him. “Go have fun with Terra and Sam. I’ll see you for dinner in a little while.”
Sky took off running, shouting the names of his two friends. Luckily the doors to the green house were in sight of the bench, and so the two fairies simply watched him go. Ben shook his head. “You’ll let me know when that monster is out of sight?” Farah asked once Sky was out of earshot.
“If the poor thing is still alive by the time I get there.” He grinned at her, before giving her a kiss on the forehead and leveling a serious look at her. “Take a bath, or a nap, or something to relax Farah. No working.”
With a sigh, she nodded. Satisfied, Ben turned to head to the green house leaving her to find her way back to her suite.
I wonder, I pray
I sleep alone
I cry alone
Without you this house is not a home
So please come home soon
Farah meant to head back to her suite, but without conscious thought she headed towards the specialist hall instead, her feet carrying her to Saul’s suite. She checked to make sure the halls were clear before unlocking the door and sneaking inside. The rooms were in far more pristine condition than they had been, now that all of Sky’s toys were all over her rooms instead. Without Sky’s obvious presence, the rooms simply spoke of Saul. The rooms were done in a dark green and gold color scheme with ebony wood furnishings. There were books about martial arts, history of both worlds, and mythology. Tucked away in a corner, where no one would ask was a small table with a few stones, a candle, and a colorful etching of a woman who appeared to be a priestess.
There was a pile of dirty laundry on the floor of the bedroom. Saul’s reading glasses were perched on top of the book by his nightstand. Curiously, since this was the first time since the specialist had left that she had taken any time to simply be in his rooms, she studied the cover of the book. Farah was surprised to find that it was a book the language of flowers. While her specialist’s interests and hobbies were varied and deep, he’d never shown much interest in plants, let alone flower arrangements. She smiled, amused, and picked up the book, carrying it with her into his bathroom.
Tempted, she stared at the large claw foot tub in the corner. When they had taken over as heads of the school, Farah had modernized her bathroom, adding in a whirlpool tub and a shower with a rain head. She had offered to have Saul’s bathroom remodeled as well, and while he had taken her up on the shower upgrade, he had insisted on keeping the deep vintage tub. She stared at it now, wrestling with the propriety of using it. She had promised Ben she would take a break, and a part of her felt that might be easier surrounded by the impressions and energies Saul had left in the room.
Biting her lip, she rationalized that no one would ever know, and it would make her feel better, something she was supposed to permit herself. Having resolved her dilemma, she ran the water and stepped out of her dress. Looking at the shower, she noticed Saul’s shower gel, and added a few drops to the water, allowing the familiar sent to fill the room. She slid into the tub with a deep sigh, and opened the book she’d taken from the nightstand. As she read, she noticed Saul’s scratchy small handwriting had annotated different sections of the book. Curiously she tried to read the print, but his hand writing was atrocious and she had neither her reading glasses nor his to magnify the print. She had only gotten through a third of the book when the silence was interrupted by her phone ringing. She used magic to lift the device from where it was resting on the sink and answered it.
“Farah?” Ben asked after she did. “Where are you? The kids and I are at your door and you’re not answering.”
Farah blushed. “I went for a walk.” She lied. “I’ll turn around and head back, just give me a few minutes.” She quickly hung up, before stepping out of the tub and drying off. She emptied the water, put back on her dress and rushed out, not realizing that she had left the towel hanging over the sink, and the book on the floor.
She rushed back to her rooms, meeting Ben and the children in the hallway. Out of breath, she let them in, and quickly left to the kitchen to start dinner. She heard the sounds of a movie starting a few minutes before Ben joined her, handing her a glass of wine. “You want to tell me where you really were?” He asked as she chopped the vegetables for a salad.
“Saul’s rooms.” She muttered self consciously, maintaining her focus on the cutting board in front of her.
Ben shook his head with a sad smile. “Did it help?”
Farah shrugged and looked up as she put the last vegetables in the bowl. “Some.”
Ben nodded. “Good.” When she looked at him surprised, he smiled. “I still keep Rose’s pillow on our bed.” He told her. “Sometimes you need to hold on to a couple of things.”
Farah smiled back at him and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you.” She whispered to him. “I couldn’t do this without you.”
“Auntie Farah, we’re hungry!” Sam shouted from the other room.
With a chuckle, she pulled back and turned to grab the chicken she had set to marinate the night before out of the fridge. “I’m making dinner now Sam.” She called back, in a much softer tone.
After dinner, Farah and Ben worked to wrangle all three toddlers into bed. Once they were settled and asleep, Farah moved to the couch to sit. The earth fairy, however walked over to the table and the dishes that were still sitting on it. “Ben, leave them.”
“You cooked.”
“I’m not so self absorbed that I don’t know what today is Ben. Go, have the night for yourself. Terra and Sam are fine here.” He looked uncertain. “Go Ben.”
“Thanks.” He set the plates back down and left. Once he was gone, she sat back on the couch in the silence and closed her eyes. Farah reached out with her mind, brushing across the children in the room next to her, past the students in their dorms dreaming. She sent a soft nudge to Ben reminding him as he headed to the cemetery that he was not alone and felt the gentle touch of a vine in return. Then she pushed, letting her mind travel along the thin string of the bond she shared with Saul, trying to find him. Finally, she felt him, he was asleep and his body exhausted, but alive and unharmed. The connection was weak and she felt a headache bloom behind her eyes, even as she struggled to reach past the physical sensation of him and connect with him. Too quickly, however, her mind snapped back, as if a rubber band stretched to far. With a groan for the migraine she had caused herself, Farah slid until she was laying down on the sofa and allowed herself to fall asleep.
I walk alone
I try alone
I’ll wait for you
Don’t want to die alone
So please, come home soon
Farah sat in her office, late in the evening trying to get work done. The baby monitor sat next to her tea cup, and the hidden door from her office to her rooms was cracked open, so she would hear if Sky woke up. She was barely halfway through the stack when she heard the telltale signs of crying through the small speaker. With a sigh, the fairy set the pen aside and walked quickly down the short hallway back to her suite. She reached the living room just as the toddler appeared in the doorway to his room, hair disheveled, still sniffling and rubbing his eyes with one hand while his other held the ear of his stuffed dog. “Sky?”
He held his hands out, pushing at her mind to be picked up. Knowing he was still half asleep, she simply did so, settling him in her arms and moving to sit on the couch. She made soft shushing noises and rubbed his back until she felt him start to calm down. “Do you want to tell me?” She asked softly once he had stopped crying.
“I thought you were gone.” He told her, his voice muffled by his face pressed into her shoulder. “You dis’peared. And Uncle Ben said it was forever.” Her arms tightened around him. It had been a few weeks since he’d had a dream that she or Saul, or one of the Harveys had died. “I’m not going anywhere.” She told him, letting her magic settle over his fear. “And Papa isn’t either. He’s coming home soon I’m sure of it.”
She felt the certainty that Saul was okay fill her, grateful she’d been able to sense him the week before, and she hoped desperately that she was right about the timeline. She had to believe that whatever Luna had him doing, six months was enough time. She continued to gently rub the boy’s back, unintentionally lulling them both to sleep.
Saul was covered in dirt, exhausted and bone weary as he dragged himself out of the car at Alfea. His driver nodded curtly and drove away, leaving him staring up at his home in the pre-dawn light. A part of him desperately wanted to turn to the right and go straight to his rooms to shower and sleep. But he had turned down the ability to rest and shower in the palace when Luna had offered it, because he knew he had to go home. For too long, he’d barely felt his fairy in his mind, and it had nearly driven him crazy with guilt and worry. He knew her anxiety after Asterdell as well as he knew his own guilt, and he wondered how she had gotten along without him. Now, standing in front of the doors to the main hall, he felt her mind slip back in alongside his and let out a deep breath. She was asleep and feeling far more at peace than he worried. Still, he knew he needed to see her. To let her know he was home.
He trudged up the stairs and down several halls. Quietly, he touched the door knob to her rooms, allowing the ward to recognize him and unlock the door. Saul was happy to know the exception was still in place. A part of him had worried that Farah might have given up on him. As he slipped silently into the room, the specialist was greeted by a sight that made everything he had to do worthwhile. Curled up on the couch was his fairy, her hair half falling out of its up do and a familiar butterfly hair pin clinging precariously to one curl. Her arm was curled around the toddler softly snoring on top of her.
With a smile, Saul moved over to the couch and deftly pulled the pin before setting it on the end table. “Farah.” He whispered softly, brushing her hair softly. “Farah wake up.” She woke slowly, blinking her brown eyes before actually seeing them.
Her eyes widened in delight. “Saul!” She kept her voice a whisper, having gotten used to regulating her tone during certain hours when Sky was asleep.
“Hi.” The specialist greeted her with a soft grin.
“Are you really home?”
“I am.” He reassured her. She struggled to sit, so Saul lifted the boy off her and settled him into his arms. As Farah sat and pulled her legs under her, Saul sat next to her, gently rubbing Sky’s back as the boy continued to snore.
“Six months.” She whispered once they were seated side by side.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Farah shrugged, exhaustion and relief getting the best of her, and laid her head on his shoulder. “You’re home now.”
Saul looked down at the fairy in surprise, he could count on one hand the number of times in all the years he had known her that she had allowed herself to be so vulnerable. But her eyes had already started to drift closed again. With a smile he nudged her gently. “Let’s get you both into actual beds.” Farah nodded as she yawned and stood.
The specialist took a step towards the guest bedroom he assumed Sky had been sleeping in, but stopped when he felt Farah’s hand touch his wrist. “Will you stay?” She asked hesitantly.
Surprised again, Saul turned to look at her. Gone was the half asleep look she had sported only moments before. Her hazel eyes were bright and anxious. It was a request she had only ever made after particularly terrible nightmares. Reeling from the emotion he saw, and worried about what he had left her to deal with alone, Saul flailed. “I stink. I haven’t had a real shower in weeks...” He trailed off as she dropped her eyes, a bright pink blush spreading across her cheeks. Recognizing the tug of her mind trying to pull away, he shifted Sky’s weight so he could grab her arm. “Let me drop my things off in my room and shower. I’ll be right back.” He squeezed her hand. “I promise.”
She nodded quietly. Saul adjusted his grip so he was holding her hand and pulled her along towards the guest room. As he entered the room he came to a complete stop and stared. Even in the low light from the living room, he could see that the once stately guest room had been turned into a perfect bedroom for a toddler. “Six months is a long time, and we weren’t sure...”
Saul nodded silently as he looked at everything. As with everything his fairy did, the room was over the top in its shear perfection. It was exactly the right room for Sky. “I bet he loves it.” He responded, as he laid the boy in the bed and pulled the comforter over him. He pressed a kiss the the boy’s head, before standing and following her out of the room. Out of habit, Saul grabbed the knob and began to pull the door closed before Farah stopped him.
“He doesn’t like closed doors,” she explained. “It’s one of the things we haven’t been able to work past in therapy yet.”
Saul raised his eyebrows as he pushed the door back open. He swallowed past the lump in his throat, feeling out of place. Farah felt his discomfort and squeezed the hand still holding hers. “The past six months have been really hard on both of us Saul. I called Gemma to help.” She smiled at him. “Sky’s almost back to the way he was before you left. Hopefully now he’ll be able to get completely back to normal.” Her smile dropped. “But its been hard. We didn’t know where you were, or when you’d be home. He was scared and had a lot of anxiety we’ve worked through. For a while he wouldn’t even talk.”
The specialist felt regret fill him. “I’m sorry Farah.”
“Don’t be.” She told him calmly. “We did okay. And you’re home now.”
The fairy quickly glanced over his shoulder to take one last look at the boy in his bed before turning and walking towards her own room. Saul hovered in the doorway. She turned hesitantly and looked at him, uncertainty on her face. “You will come back?”
“Quick as an air fairy.”
Saul took a deep breath as he entered his rooms, his muscles unwinding at the familiarity. He moved quickly to the bedroom and into the bathroom, stopping in surprise at the towel draped over the sink and the book on the floor next to his tub. Immediately he was on alert for an intruder and began studying the room for signs of who could have broken in. It was the wheat colored strand of hair, several inches in length, he found stuck on the edge of the bath tub that caused him to be suspicious. Eyes narrowed, he kept looking, until he saw the small gold hoop earring that was laying on the floor against the wall. He picked it up as a slow disbelieving smile spread across his face. Saul showered quickly before grabbing a pair of sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt out of his dresser. Putting the earring in his pocket, he ran back to Farah’s room, just as the sun began to show over the tree line.
Farah had fallen back to sleep in her bed, and he was standing there watching her, the earring held tightly in his hand when he heard a gasp behind him. “Papa!” A familiar voice shouted. Saul turned just in time for Sky to barrel into him, and wrap his arms around the older man’s knees. “You’re home!” Saul knelt, pulling the boy into his arms. Two small arms wrapped tightly around my neck. “You got my wishes!”
The rustling of the comforter behind them as Saul hugged the boy had the toddler squirming excitedly out of Saul’s arms. Saul turned as the boy dove and climbed up onto the big four poster bed. “Mama, mama.” Sky started shaking Farah’s shoulder. “Papa’s home!”
Farah rolled onto her back, a slow smile on her face as she opened her eyes to see the excited boy on her bed.
“Sky...” Saul started to interrupt from the door. He wasn’t sure if he meant to correct Sky calling him Papa, or if he was going to remind the boy to be gentle, or to let Farah sleep, but he didn’t get to say anything more than the boy’s name before the fairy interrupted him.
Farah pulled the boy into her arms, cuddling him and squeezing him tightly as he laughed, even as she glared at Saul over his head in warning. “I did see papa was home.” She kept her voice light even as she loosened her arms.
Sky stopped wiggling and Saul’s heart constricted as he watched the boy lay his head on the fairy’s chest. “Now I’m yours and Papa’s forever and ever.”
Farah’s eyes met Saul’s, begging him to allow Sky to have this, even as she answered the boy himself. “Forever and ever.”
Sky lifted his head, meeting Saul’s and frowning slightly as the tears he saw. “Papa?” Saul moved into the room without a thought, the earring still tight in his hand. He sat on the edge of the bed and ran his hand through the soft blond hair on the boy’s head. “Forever and ever.” He promised, his voice rough. Swallowing hard, he took Farah’s hand in his other and met her wide eyes as she felt the earring he was holding. “Forever and ever.” He repeated, watching her.