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It’s in the aftermath that is happens. They’re curled up in the middle of the bed, bodies pressed together as fingers gently dance across one another’s skin, eyes closed. Ben feels like he’s floating, like he’s suspended between the most perfect dream and reality and that any moment now he’s going to wake up. Callum sighs, nestling in closer and Ben peeps his eyes open to see the soft smile on his face.
“Say it again,” he murmurs, watching as Callum’s smile grows in response.
“Yes,” Callum whispers, eyes opening to meet his, sparkling with joy.
“Again,” Ben insists, feeling the thump-thump-thump of his own heart beating.
“Yes.”
And because he can’t resist – “Again.”
Callum giggles, a beautiful sound, and then he’s moving and suddenly Ben finds himself pinned to the bed.
“Yes, yes, yes,” Callum grins, hovering over him and leaning down to press a kiss to his neck. “A thousand times yes.”
And it’s real. Callum really did say yes. They both said yes to each other. For so long Ben thought he would never have something like this – that finding someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with was an impossibility, let alone someone who wanted to spend the rest of their life with him. And yet he’s found that in Callum; in this beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous man who loves him unequivocally and without condition. He’s so incredibly lucky and he makes a silent vow to himself that he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to make Callum as happy as Callum has made him.
Callum settles on top of him, head burrowed into the crook of Ben’s neck and Ben takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around him, hold him there, and commit the moment to memory. All his life he has felt like he’s been lurching from one disaster to the next, from one trauma to another. But it’s never been like that with Callum. Callum quietens the noise in his head, makes the bad times more bearable, and when they’re together, Ben feels like he can just stop and breathe. He feels weightless with Callum around.
“You know you’re stuck with me now, don’t you?” Callum mumbles and Ben almost doesn’t catch it. He tilts his head to get a better look at Callum who moves a little so that Ben can read his lips if he needs to. “You and me,” he adds, “we’re forever now.”
There’s a teasing lilt in his voice and his eyes are glistening, but despite the playful tone of his statement it still makes Ben’s heart stutter at the thought.
“Forever, eh?” Ben asks, feeling the way his lips curl upwards and he has to bite at them just to stop the beam that he knows is desperate to appear. “You sure you don’t wanna run?”
Callum shakes his head, reaching up to run a thumb along Ben’s jaw. “Never.”
He huffs out a laugh, happiness still bubbling away inside his chest, before fixing his eyes on Callum’s own. “Well then, together forever it is then, eh?”
Callum grins at that, dipping his head in a way that makes him look shy. “And you call me a soppy git!”
Ben kisses him then, unable to stay away any longer and wanting to hide the blush that he knows is spilling out onto his cheeks. He feels like a teenager who is falling in love for the first time – a mix of nervous and excited energy that never seems to go away whenever he thinks about the two of them together. Of course, Ben knows that he’s being soppy, knows that this whole day has been spent putting together an elaborate proposal and wearing his heart on his sleeve, and if anyone had told him two years ago that he’d be doing this now he would have laughed in their face, but he’s so caught up in this love, so caught up in Callum and the bubble that surrounds them both, that he can’t bring himself to care.
Tonight the love of his life became his fiancé and he’s happy. He’s the happiest he’s ever been.
Forever.
Yeah. He likes the sound of forever.
It’s the next day when it comes up again. Callum is in the kitchen, his back turned as he finishes wrapping up the sandwich he has just made in tinfoil. Ben traipses down the hallway towards the kitchen and leans against the doorway to watch him for a moment. The feelings of happiness from last night are still lingering and the memories are vivid in his mind. He still can’t believe they’re doing this – that they’re engaged now.
Stepping forwards, he closes the gap between them and wraps his arms around Callum’s body, feeling the way Callum relaxes into them.
“Do you have to go to work?” he asks pushing his forehead into the dip between Callum’s shoulders and closing his tired eyes.
There’s a rumble underneath Ben’s fingertips as Callum lets out a low chuckle. “Yes, Ben. We’ve talked about this, remember?”
Ben nods because he’s tried to persuade Callum to stay at home several times since last night to no avail and Callum being the saintly person that he is just doesn’t feel fair right now. They had been awake long into the night, basking in the glow of being newly engaged, and by the time they had drifted off to sleep, it barely seemed like any time had passed at all before the alarm was ringing and Callum was making his way out from underneath the duvet. It had taken all the persuasion that Ben had to get him to climb back in again and stay for a little longer.
“Can’t believe you’re choosing work over me,” Ben pouts, feeling like a child who isn’t getting his own way.
Callum turns towards him and Ben catches him rolling his eyes. “Well, maybe if I’d known that I was going to get proposed to last night and kept up ‘til the early hours of the morning than I might have booked today off.”
He tries to feign petulance but it’s hard when he sees the warmth on Callum’s face and in the end love wins out and he finds himself smiling. They stand there for a moment, swaying slowly in each other’s arms before Callum breaks the silence.
“Besides, it won’t be for long and then I’ll be coming straight home to you, won’t I? Together forever now, aren’t we?”
Ben swats at his side and Callum laughs, pulling out of the embrace and making his way over to the table.
“I knew you were going to tease me for that!”
“Couldn’t resist,” Callum responds, picking up his bag and throwing his sandwich inside. “Must be rubbing off on you.”
Ben scoffs at that. “Yeah, well, if you weren’t going into work then you could be rubbing off on me right now, couldn’t you? See what you’re missing out on?”
Callum moves towards him again and leans down to place a kiss on his lips.
“We’ve got forever, Ben,” he whispers when he pulls away.
It leaves Ben momentarily speechless, lips tingling from the soft touch and breath caught with the way Callum is looking down on him. Callum doesn’t seem to notice the effect he’s having though, instead stepping back again and making his way down the hallway to leave the house.
“Cal,” Ben calls out, finding his voice again.
Callum turns back to face him, the same soft smile still on his face. Ben smiles back at him.
“I love you.”
And it’s rare that he says it out loud like this. Usually it’s whispered softly in the dark, or murmured when it’s just the two of them with no one else around to hear. Or he’ll say it as a way to back up what they’re talking about or when he knows that Callum really needs to hear those particular words. It’s very rare that he says it just for the sake of saying it. But here he is now, saying goodbye to his fiancé who is leaving to go to work, knowing that he’ll be coming home to him again later today. And it’s just so domestic and lovely and everything he has always wanted and never thought he’d get.
And he feels it. He feels the love he has for the man at the end of the hallway wrap around him and take hold and he never wants to lose it. He never wants to let it go.
Callum’s smile widens and he nods. “I love you too.”
It becomes a thing a few days later.
They’re sitting in the living room with Lexi between them, book opened out in front of her, and Ben stifles a yawn as he watches her turn to the last page. He has to wonder at what point he stopped reading bedtime stories to her and she started reading them to him instead.
“And they all lived happily ever after,” she sing-songs, closing the book on her lap. “The end.”
Ben smiles down at her, brushing a hand through the soft curls on the top of her head as she turns to look at him.
“That’s like you and Callum,” she announces. “You’re going to live happily ever after now too just like in all the fairy tales.”
She’s so matter-of-fact about it, as if it’s just a given, and he glances up to see Callum looking back at him with just as much certainty. Ben feels tears spike in the corner of his eyes and he blinks rapidly in a bid to keep them at bay. What has he ever done to deserve someone as amazing as Callum; something as amazing as this? He doesn’t know, but what he does know is that he’ll treasure it always.
“Yeah, alright,” he dismisses, unprepared for the sudden vulnerability he feels. He looks back at Lexi and takes the book out of her hands, tapping her gently on her back. “Why don’t you go on up to bed? I’ll be up in a bit to tuck you in.”
Lexi nods, hopping up off the couch and issuing them both with a goodnight.
“And don’t forget to brush your teeth!” he calls out as an afterthought before becoming aware that Callum is still looking his way. “What?”
Callum shakes his head a little, small smile on his face.
“What?”
“Nothing, just…..even Lexi agrees.”
He frowns, feeling confused as he thinks back over her words. “You’ve lost me.”
Callum leans in close, a cheeky twinkle in his eye, and Ben finds himself hanging on the moment, mesmerised by the boy in front of him.
The words are whispered between them.
“Together forever.”
And just like that the moment is broken and Ben shoves at him, causing a ripple of laughter to burst out of Callum.
“You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”
“Nope!” Callum grins, grabbing hold of him and pressing a kiss onto his lips and for as much as he has been teased for his words, Ben can’t find it within himself to feel embarrassed about them when they’re making Callum happy like this. In fact, Ben will gladly be teased for the rest of his life if it means he can keep seeing this radiating smile reflecting back at him. “And she’s right,” Callum adds, “You, me, Lexi – we’re our own little happily ever after, aren’t we?”
The butterflies return in force, they never seem to disappear around Callum.
“Who’s the soppy one now, eh?” he quips before meeting Callum’s lips again. This time he kisses with purpose, pushing closer as he curls his fingers into the soft material of Callum’s t-shirt. For all the things Callum is able to convey through words, Ben hopes he himself can convey through actions. They meet each other halfway, balancing each other out with their different strengths. In many ways they are different, and in many ways they are the same and it’s this that makes them work; it’s this that makes them what they are.
“Dad!”
Ben groans at the sound of Lexi’s voice and leans his forehead against Callum’s. In times like this he forgets that it’s not just himself and Callum in the world and he clings on to the moment for a little longer.
“Dad!” comes Lexi’s voice again from the top of the stairs.
“You promised you’d tuck her in,” Callum says softly, seemingly caught up in that same moment as well.
Ben nods and pulls away, shouting out to let Lexi know that he’s on his way, before standing up from the couch.
“Give me ten minutes and then I’m all yours,” he tells Callum, sending a wink in his direction.
“Early night and a movie in bed?”
And yeah, that sounds like bliss. He nods in agreement before leaving the room, making his way upstairs towards Lexi.
It’s later that night when Callum suggests it. Ben has his head on his chest, slowly being lulled to sleep with the way it rises and falls, when Callum suddenly asks, “What d’you think about getting the rings engraved?”
He’s already planning every detail of the wedding despite it only being a few days since they got engaged – matching suits, colour schemes, flower arrangements – and Ben has been happy to let him get on with it, knowing that whatever Callum decides it will be perfect. None of those things really matter to Ben. They could get married on a back street corner and it wouldn’t matter because if Callum was there then it would still be perfect. But the thought of engraved rings has him tilting his head to look at the man beneath him.
“What, you mean the rings we haven’t got yet? We might have to go ring shopping first, babe.”
“I know,” Callum smiles, “I was just thinking about it that’s all. And we don’t have to if you don’t like the idea.”
But Ben does like the idea. The thought of wearing Callum’s ring for the rest of his life fills him with an emotion that he hasn’t yet found a word for, but the thought of that ring being engraved, something private just for the two of them, brings him a rush of excitement.
“I like it,” he nods, shuffling up the bed so that he can look at Callum properly.
Callum’s smile grows. “What would we get on them? It’d have to be something personal, wouldn’t it?”
“Together forever?” he jokes, waiting to hear Callum’s laughter in response. But it never comes, the smiles on Callum’s face unchanging.
“We are though, aren’t we?” Callum says, slipping a leg between Ben’s to draw him closer. “This is it now for me. All I want is you for the rest of my life and I know that no matter what happens, that won’t ever change.”
Ben feels tears spring into his eyes again and for the second time tonight he tries to hold them back. Callum says these things as if they come so easily to him, and perhaps they do, but the simplicity of his words touch at a part of Ben that has long since been protected by the tall walls that took so long to be built. And yet, Callum has always found ways to seep in through the cracks, dismantling the brickwork piece by piece and infiltrating the dark with his own light.
“I’m so lucky I’ve got you,” Ben whispers, voice cracking. “You’re always here by my side and I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
“You’re not going to lose me, Ben,” Callum affirms. “I’m never gonna let that happen.” His fingers reach out and Ben takes them, tangling them together and squeezing gently. “We can do anything together. You know that don’t you? You and me, we’re unstoppable, and I’m never gonna let anything get in the way of it.”
Ben nods, believing the words. Callum is right. Whatever comes their way, they can do anything as long as they’re together.
He huffs out a laugh, thinking back on the words that Callum has been teasing him with for days, and realising now just how true they are.
“So,” he says, laying so close to Callum that he no longer knows where Callum ends and he begins. “Together forever it is, eh?”
Callum smiles and sighs happily, closing his eyes.
“Together forever.”