Chapter Text
Josie looked at the forest in front of her. She could hear the sound of a deer running towards her. She readied her bow. The dear would get her enough coin to feed her family for the next week. The hoof steps were coming closer. Three...two...she fired. There was the thud as the majestic creature fell. She looked up, expecting to see the eyes of a deer, but it wasn’t a deer on the ground. It was Alyssa Chang, bleeding on the ground with an arrow sticking out from her throat.
“You did this!” a low voice said. Josie looked away from Alyssa and saw Rafael. He crossed his arms and spat, “You killed him!”
“Him?” Josie asked. She looked back at the body, and instead of Alyssa, Landon was there, his lips blue, and his leg bleeding out, “No, no I didn’t-”
“Josie?” came a soft voice. Josie turned around and saw MG, the spear buried in his chest. As he pulled it out, he fell, but it wasn’t his body that landed on the ground, it was Jed.
“What about him, Jo?” Rafael asked, “Who killed him?”
“I did,” Josie said, nearly inaudibly.
“You killed us all,” a voice growled. Josie turned and saw Roman, and nearly screamed at the sight of his body marred by the scars from the mutt attack, with his face peeling off.
“Get away!” she screeched, tossing her bow at him. It went right through his head, causing the whole thing to come off. Josie screamed.
“Josie? Josie?” Rafael asked, but it wasn’t his voice that came out, it was her sister’s, “Josie wake up! You’re dreaming!” Josie woke up screaming. It was loud enough to get her Mother to come running.
“Josie? Baby what’s wrong?” Caroline asked as she entered her room.
“Nothing is wrong,” Josie said, pushing her sister away, “I was just having a moment.”
“Jo, we could hear your screams from the other side of the house,” Lizzie said as Josie slid off the bed, wiping sweat from her forehead, “Something is clearly wrong, what is it?”
“Gee, I don’t know,” Josie said, “Maybe the fact that I was thrown into an arena where I had to fight to the death. Or have you all forgotten?”
“No one has forgotten, honey,” Caroline said, “Come on down with me, I’ll make you some tea.” Josie shook her head as she pulled her boots on.
“I don’t want tea,” she said, “I wanna take a walk.”
“A walk to where?” Caroline asked.
“I don’t know, I just don’t wanna be here,” Josie said, pulling her hunting jacket on. Caroline gently took her arm before she could leave.
“Hey, c’mon,” she said, “We can talk about this. Take your jacket off, let’s sit down.” Her Mom was being nice, caring even. But all Josie could see was Roman’s scarred face with the blood staining the grass. She shook her Mom off and said,
“I can’t.” She ran out of her room, taking two steps at a time. She crammed her feet into her new boots, fresh from the Capitol. She hated those boots, but her Mom had thrown her old ones out after one of them had fallen off while Josie was walking home, and she’d ended up coming home with an array of blisters on her left foot.
She left her house and ran over to Stefan’s, barging in. Since Josie was his only neighbor in over ten years, he never bothered to lock his doors. Josie went to his kitchen and pulled out one of the many bottles of whiskey. She unscrewed the cap, and nearly had the liquid in her mouth when a rough hand snatched the bottle from her.
“Hey!” she exclaimed crossly.
“Dude, get your own,” Stefan said, placing the bottle back in the cabinet, “You wanna explain why you’re stealing whiskey from me at…” he checked the small clock on the counter, “Two forty five in the morning?”
“The nightmares are back,” Josie said, “I thought I had them under control...it’s been a few weeks. But now they’re back at full force.” Stefan gave her an understanding nod and said,
“Come with me.” He led her into the living room, where he went to the coffee table, opening up the drawer on the right. He pulled out a photo album and said, “After my brother died, my Mother used to sit up at night, looking through an album. I usually just let her be, but then I got curious. I went up to her and I asked, ‘Mom, how does looking at pictures of Damon make you feel any better?’ You wanna know what she told me?” Josie nodded, and he continued with,
“She said that if she pictured him only like this, then it would feel like he wasn’t gone. So I took the album later that night, and I tried. I looked at the pictures, and I tried. It just didn’t work. So after my Mom died, and I came home to that empty house, I found that album, and I burned it.”
“Wait, then what’s that?” Josie asked.
“This is my own special album.” He handed it to her, “Take a look.” Josie sighed and opened the book. The first page had a date with two pictures. A girl and a boy. Josie frowned, but kept flipping. It was the same thing at every turn. A girl, a boy, and a date. Each date a year after the other. As the people started to get familiar, Josie realized what this was, but her thoughts weren’t confirmed until she got to the latest page, with Landon’s picture inside, and his date of death at the top.
“These are all the tributes you mentored,” Josie said, “All the ones who died.”
“Indeed,” Stefan said, “I keep their names, date of deaths, and ages all with me.”
“Why?” Josie said, “How does that help with anything?”
“It alleviates the guilt, in a way,” Stefan said as he took a seat next to her, “And it also reminds me who the real enemy is.”
“The Capitol?” Josie asked, and Stefan nodded, “No offense, Stefan, but keeping a photo album isn’t going to make them any less powerful.”
“No, but it keeps my mind open,” he said, “It stops the terrors at night by allowing me to focus on something else. Something real.”
“So you’re saying I should keep a photo album?”
“I’m saying you need to find an outlet,” Stefan said, “Something to focus on that isn’t what you went through in those games.”
“How can I do that?” Josie asked, “The tour is in two weeks, then the Reaping is in nine months. Won’t I be dragged back to be a mentor with you?”
“You will,” Stefan said, “Which is why, more than ever, you’re going to need to keep yourself sane. There’s no need to make those kids more nervous than they already are.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Josie said. She couldn’t look at Landon’s face anymore, so she slammed the album shut, “This album was a stupid idea.”
“You don’t see me waking up screaming,” Stefan said.
“But you’re still up,” Josie said, “Most people are asleep at this time.”
“You’ve got me there,” Stefan said, “But I wasn’t having a nightmare. I just had a little too much to drink, and I couldn’t sleep.”
“That sounds healthy,” Josie said sarcastically. Stefan shook his head and said,
“Like I said, we do what we can,” Stefan said, “But enough about me, this is about you. When’s lover girl coming into town?”
“Ugh, forgot about that,” Josie said, burying her head in her hands, “And there are gonna be cameras watching us make out! It’s so weird.”
“You two seemed friendly at the crowning ceremony,” Stefan commented.
“We’d spent the night together before,” Josie said, “Things were different back then, it was all so new. And now that I haven’t seen her in months...pretending just isn’t gonna be as easy as I thought.”
“I don’t wanna be mean or anything, but you’re gonna have to muddle through,” Stefan said, “If you don’t keep up the act, the Capitol will retaliate. Remember that.”
“Trust me, I do,” Josie said, “She gets here in two days. We’re spending the whole weekend together. I think Klaus is coming too.”
“Oh joy,” Stefan said, “I’m stuck with him more times a year than usual.”
“I thought you and Klaus were in a better place,” Josie said.
“I’ll never be in a good place with that man,” Stefan said, “You and Hope are just too important. What time do they get in?”
“After school,” Josie said, “The press will be in the neighborhood when they do. Look presentable.” Stefan nodded and said,
“You should give yourself that same advice. Your eyes are shot.”
“I haven't slept, asshole,” Josie grumbled.
“Oh right. Nightmares,” Stefan said, “I’m just saying, that outlet..”
“I don’t need a goddamn outlet,” Josie said, “I need more of those pills. My leg hasn’t been feeling that well lately. The pain keeps me up, too.”
“Fine, I’ll talk to Katherine,” Stefan said, “Are you taking those responsibly?”
“Of course. Only one a day,” Josie said, “I thought I had two bottles, but I only had one, so I’m out.” It was a lie, but she needed more. With going to school and the bakery, getting around town was putting too much stress on her.
“You’d better,” Stefan said, “There are a lot of mentors that have gotten hooked on that crap. You don’t notice it at first, but as the time goes on, suddenly you-”
“Josette!” Caroline’s voice called, interrupting Stefan, “Josette, you better be in here.”
“Dear God,” Josie grumbled. Stefan chuckled and said,
“We’re in here, Care!” Her Mom’s footsteps got louder as she came rushing into the room. She stormed over to Josie and said,
“You need to ask permission before you leave the house!”
“Can I leave the house?” Josie asked. Caroline shook her head.
“The sass needs to stop,” Caroline said, “Let’s go, we’ve bothered Stefan enough for one night.”
“It’s really no problem,” he said, “You and your daughters...you’re welcome here anytime.”
“Thank you,” Caroline said, “But uh, we should get going. Come on, Josie.” Her voice hardened at that. She was definitely in trouble.
“I’ll walk you out,” Stefan said, and Josie tried not to gag at his change in demeanor now that her Mom was in the house. He walked them to the door and said, “Have fun at school, Josie. I bet it’ll be a good outlet for you.”
“Man, shut the hell up!” Josie snapped, and while he laughed, Caroline gaped at her,
“Josette Saltzman!” she scolded, “That was rude.”
“Goodnight Stefan,” Josie said sweetly to the man in lieu of an apology.
“Goodnight,” he said with a wave. Josie turned on her heels and walked back towards her house while Stefan and her Mom said goodbye to each other. She was already back in her house and slipping her boots off when her Mom made it in.
“You are going to need to start listening to me, and soon,” Caroline said.
“Whatever, Mom,” she grumbled.
“Don’t take that tone with me,” Caroline scolded, “Look, I’m not mad at you. I know these past few months haven’t been easy on you, which I understand, but-”
“No,” Josie said, “No, you don’t understand.”
“Okay,” Caroline said, “Then help me understand. Talk to me, please .”
“I can’t,” Josie said, her voice breaking from newly forming tears, “I just, um, I can’t really get into what happened. I watched people, kids , that I knew die and kill each other. And then I...I dropped a nest on the Careers, and I shot Jed through the heart. Then I saved Hope’s life while Landon was dying in a cave, and then I lost him too. Then Roman…” she trailed off, unable to speak anymore.
“My sweet girl,” Caroline said, rubbing her back, “I’m so sorry that this happened to you. If I could go back in time…”
“You’d stop the games from ever being a thing?” Josie asked.
“You know it,” Caroline said, kissing her cheek, “Let’s go upstairs. We can lay together, you can talk to me about your dream.”
“No, I just wanna be alone,” Josie said, “I have school tomorrow, and-”
“Forget school, you’re staying home tomorrow. Maybe for the rest of the year…”
“I can’t do that,” Josie said, “I just want things to be normal. I don’t want to be the tribute from 12, or the Capitol’s golden child. I’m sick of all of it.”
“I know honey,” Caroline said, “But, like all the other victors, it’s something you’ll have to live with. But, I’m here, okay? For every step. You don’t need to be scared anymore. It’s over.”
“It’ll never be over,” Josie said, “I need to be alone right now, so…”
“Sweetheart, you aren’t sleeping. You don’t eat during dinner, and your sister says you skip lunch sometimes at school. You can’t keep going on like this.”
“Maybe you should stop worrying about how I’m doing in school, and spend some time explaining to Lizzie that I have to leave to live with Hope Mikaelson on Sunday.”
“Hey,” Mom scolded, “I told you, I would be talking to Katherine about moving. Just because Hope is an adult doesn't mean you are. And besides, both of you are still in school. There doesn’t have to be any moving in happening.”
“The Capitol will always win,” Josie said, “If they want me to move in, I’m moving in.”
“Josie-”
“I’m going to bed,” she said, “I’ve got school in the morning.”
“You’re still not going,” Caroline said.
“You can’t stop me,” Josie said, hurrying up the stairs before her Mom could get another word in. She was nearly in her room when she heard,
“Are you actually gonna move to District 2?” Josie stopped, and turned to look at her sister.
“Did you hear me and Mom?” Josie asked.
“I didn’t have to,” Lizzie replied. She pulled a letter out from behind her back and said, “Mom told me to make you some tea. I found this letter in one of the drawers. From Mr. Mikaelson. Is that why they’re coming this weekend? To take you there?”
“No,” Josie said, “We’re just spending the weekend together-”
“Don’t lie to me, Jo,” Lizzie said, “Are you leaving on Sunday night or not?”
“Not,” Josie said, “Look, Mom is gonna talk to Ms. Pierce about it and clear everything up. And in the meantime we’re just going to take some gushy pictures together, and say we love each other. That’s all.” Lizzie still didn’t look convinced, “I’m 16, Liz. I’m not moving out.”
“Promise?” Lizzie asked, holding up a pinkie. Josie shook it and said,
“Promise.”