Chapter Text
A quiet drink at the bar for Steve and Kate, eventually became a quiet night-in in Kate’s living room, with a takeaway from their favourite Indian. The pair spent the evening making up for lost time, making jokes at each other’s expense and watching trash telly. Soon enough, the conversation came back around to Kate’s transfer to AC-12 once again, and the impending meeting with the high up people, to whom she would have to plead her case. One of many things on her mind.
The evening was drawing to a close, ending with Kate’s feet up on the sofa, each with a glass of wine in hand.“I’m sorry I haven’t been around, mate” Kate said in a low voice. “You needed me, and I wasn’t there, but my minds been...well, I dunno where it’s been to be honest.” She held her head and looked away from him, processing. “You had enough on, mate” Steve responded softly.
“Didn’t know whether I was coming or going most of the time. ” Kate said, shaking her head in disbelief. She took a sip of her drink.
“Sounds like you needed me and all”.
Kate flashed a slight smile at him.
“You weren’t to know what Jo was involved with”, Steve continued.
“But I should have, that’s the thing. It should have smacked me in the face, Steve. You knew from the start”.
“I also knew you cared about her, you were just looking out for her. She was your boss...You and me both know working in anti corruption fucks with your perception of people, you just managed to get out of that way of thinking for a bit”. ”
“She confided in me. At least I thought that was what she was doing. Like mates I guess”.
Beat.
“You can’t save everyone Kate”, Steve said in a moment of earnesty. And you shouldn’t try to, it’s a lot of pressure to on yourself.
Kate attempted to break the tension. “You’d be screwed then.”
Steve continued with a chuckle under his words. “You’ve got form mate I’ll give you that, you’re always saving me. I need to give someone else a chance”. Steve said this in jest, not immediately making the connection.
“Steph Corbett?” Kate responded, which surprised even herself, as she’d spent a lot of the evening avoiding the elephant in the room. Steve made eye contact with Kate for a few seconds, then the floor, clearly uncomfortable.
“No.” Steve finally said, in a low voice.
“What’s going on with you two mate? You can tell me”.
“Nothing. And nothing ever will.” He said calmly. “It’s not...It wasn’t like that”. He paused, waiting for Kate to respond, she didn’t. She just listened. Steve took a slow breath and then continued. “I felt responsible for her and that I owed it to John to make sure she was okay- that she wasn’t alone.”
“It wasn’t your fault Steve”.
“I know.” Steve continued. “I felt as though we failed her…’Cos we couldn’t protect our own. She was always lonely, but this time it was different-for what? This time, he wasn’t gonna come back. We’d both lost something to the job. It was like, she...got it.”
“We’ve all sacrificed stuff to be in this line of work, mate.” Kate added. “That’s not gonna stop any time soon.”
Steve looked up at Kate, and her eyes found his. There was a stillness followed by a moment of clarity and understanding between them. His head slightly nodded. “I know”. He finally responded calmly. The corners of Kate’s lips flashed towards her temples in a defeated smile. Steve’s gaze returned down to his bottle, still grasping it with both hands around the neck. “I didn’t know how to deal with it. The thought of letting her down again. I guess I just wanted to be there for her.”
Kate couldn’t help but think to herself that in reality, he wanted someone to be there for him, he just wouldn’t say. Or even realise.
“Then what?” Kate asked.
“She wanted me there more. Asking me to ring her, see when I was coming over next...I didn’t plan it.
“And it became difficult to say no.”
Steve nodded slowly, embarrassed. “I don’t know when or how it happened, I just one day found myself in the middle of something I didn’t plan to be.”
“What changed?”
A visceral memory flashed across his mind’s eye. The buzz of his phone, and the pit in his stomach upon reading it.
‘Menton Road, Douglass Common, BZ5 5CN’.
In a few seconds the memories had retreated abruptly, but simultaneously, they seemed to replay in slow motion. He looked back at her. “Things just became a bit clearer”.
There was a pause.
“If I’d known mate, about any of it-“
“You’re here now.” Steve said, before she could finish her sentence.
“You’ll be sick of the sight of me” Kate joked.
“Who says I’m not already?” Steve said as he looked away from Kate sat opposite as he took a sip of beer from bottle. He looked back at her and smirked. Her eyes met his and a grin tightened across her face. “Prick” she muttered. They both let out a slight chuckle.
“I’ve missed this” Steve admitted.
“Yeah me too, mate .”
Beat.
Steve took a sip of his wine whilst glancing at the digital clock under the television set.
“Christ it’s nearly midnight.”
“And it’s a school night” Kate responded.
“When did we get so old?”
“Speak for yourself.”
They both laughed, and enjoyed the brief few moments of comfortable silence. This was the longest they’d spent together for a very long time, and neither of them wanted the night to end. Kate was getting tired and so was Steve. Steve hadn’t known how much he actually missed spending time with Kate until he had to leave, and how much he actually came to miss her when she was gone. Her words rang in his ear, and for the first time in his life, he started to understand the statement he’d heard so many times before. He never realised what he had, until she was gone. Almost gone.
“I better get going, you’ve got a big day tomorrow.” Steve tilted his head back and swiftly downed the last mouthful of beer that was left.
“Easy mate, you’re a crap driver at the best of times. We need you in one piece”
Steve smiles. “You nervous?” Kate doesn’t respond. Steve continues. “It’ll be like you’ve never left”.
“I just want to do right by everyone.” Kate said in a pensive tone.
“You will. It’s not been same without you there.”
“It won’t be the same without the gaffer” Kate replies.
“Yeah, I know.”
“Do you think it’ll be weird?”
“Maybe at first. You’ve got me though mate. Always.”
“You’re weird when you’ve had a drink, getting all sentimental over a lager.”
Steve smirks. “Let’s do him proud, yeah?” Steve said, adding a cheeky wink.
Kate smiles. “You’re on.”
They both smiled.
Beat.
Kate gestured to the empty glass on the coffee table. “Pass that over then, you need to call your cab. Don’t make a habit of me cleaning up after you, will ya?” He does so, after which Kate moved into the kitchen and starts throwing away bottles and other momentos from the night. Steve began to redo his tie, so not to leave it behind, and straightens out his waistcoat. He moved towards the hallway to find his coat, with the mobile phone in its pocket. He looked across and sees Kate with his back to him in the kitchen and just watches her, only for a moment then proceeded to reach into the coat pocket, pulling up the taxi app on his phone, but he hesitates.
Kate was rinsing the empty wine bottles in the sink ready for the recycling to come that morning. She began to dry her hands with a tea towel from the counter besides her but found herself reluctant to put it down, twiddling the corners between her thumb and fingers. She was suddenly aware of her heart beating in her chest. She turned around to Steve standing by the kitchen door, holding his phone in one hand and gripping his coat in the other.
“Jesus, you scared me then”. She said, with a nervous laugh.
“Anything I can help you with, before I-” Steve asked.
“Nope, all taken care of. Thanks. You all sorted?”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah all good. Be here in 5.”
“That was lucky.” Kate replied.
“Yeah, it makes a change.”
“What does?”
Steve paused before answering. “I’ve never been great with timing.”
“Good job you’re a DI and not a street dancer.”
“Just another pipe dream of mine.”
They chuckled to themselves and then there’s a pause. Their eyes found each other again.
“Kate?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks. For tonight”. Steve suddenly found himself struggling to find his words.
“Likewise”.
Kate and Steve both began to notice how much they had been smiling throughout the evening, their faces ached. Steve walked back into the hall, wand waited for Kate to return before leaving. Kate emerged from the top of the stairs, swaddled by an oversized grey cardigan cardigan, and the smudged mascara under her eyes now clean. He watched her walk down, caught himself and looked away in attempt not to linger.
“You not gonna put your coat on? It’s freezing out there”.
“I’ll be alright”.
The truth is, Steve felt as though his body was flushing all over, completely unrelated to his surroundings, especially at this November hour.
“Oh. Sod ya then”. She leaned against the radiator on the wall opposite sleeves, and crossed her arms, covering her hands.
Steve leaned into Kate, putting his free arm around her for an embrace, to which Kate reciprocates.
“Night mate” said Steve.
“Night...thanks for coming mate.”
“No worries. See ya tomorrow yeah?”
The thought of working together again meant they simultaneously broke out in an unstoppable smirk.
Kate leans across to reach the door. At first Steve doesn’t move. As Kate turns the lock, Steve was suddenly aware of the slightly too close distance between them both, and steps back. Kate pulled the handle to open the door, Steve holding the weight of the door and began to step towards it. He paused as Kate says;
“Get home safe. Text me...when you-“
“I will.” Steve nodded, as their gaze locked again. Once again, Steve filled the silence.
“Cya mate.”
...”Cya.” replied Kate.
Beat.
Steve turned away but barely manages to take another step as though his feet were sunken into the floor. It was in that moment, Kate mumbled. “Steve-“. He looked back at her. “Yeah?”
There’s no response as Kate can’t quite keep up with what she just said or why. She just about managed to fumble together a sentence in her head that might make sense, when she registered that Steve has closed the door, and was now right in front of her. He gently touches her upper arm, placing his coat on the floor beside them. One final time their eyes lock on each other, their faces with barely any space apart. He leaned in and gently kissed her cheek, lingering there, as they felt their cheeks brushing against each other. She turned her head slowly to meet his lips and felt his hands on her back when finally, he kissed her. Though tentative and shy at first, they quickly found a rhythm that almost felt familiar. Their lips only parted very briefly, and never fully. Kate felt Steve’s hands gently holding the sides of her waist as her hands found the sides of his face, just as gently as his found her. Their kiss deepened and Steve’s grip tightened around her.
The kiss came to a natural conclusion, and they fell into an embrace as their breathing and heartbeats began to sync. There was content silence neither of them knew how to break, or even wanted to, as they enjoyed the sensation of being so close, feeling every muscle of each other's bodies tense and relax as a warmth charged around their bodies.
“I didn’t call the cab.” Steve whispered softly.
There is a pause as Kate is still pressed into him. Her eyes widen and a look of relief flushes over her face very briefly before she moves away slightly to look at him. “You better get upstairs then.” She said with a glint in her eye. Steve smiled and said nothing, not being able to take his eyes off her. He couldn’t even if he wanted to. Kate tentatively placed her hand in his and squeezed. He squeezed back, and their fate was sealed.