Work Text:
'Got it.'
'What?'
'Pumpkin. That's your new name.'
'My... what?'
'On account of your perky...'
'Gene! No, never! Not at the office! Or home. Or anywhere else, for that matter.'
'What's your bloody complaint? Thought you'd like a proper pet name.'
'Yeah, well, what if I started calling you... Stallion? It'd sound bloody ridiculous!'
'Right, well, I am rather well-hung...'
'That's not the point, Guv!"
'And I do like to mount...'
'Oh my God! Just shut up!'
'Bloody hell, lighten up! Relax! Maybe shout a tad less... Pumpkin.'
'You're paying for this... you prick.'
'Careful there, Sammy-boy – not at work.'