Chapter Text
Jeongguk loved Jimin first.
He met Jimin in his last year of high school, and after a few months of hanging out with him together with their friends, Jeongguk realized that he had feelings for him. But of course, it wasn't easy. Jimin only saw him as a friend, a younger brother he loved to dote on.
"I'm sorry, Guk. I-I don't feel that way about you," Jimin said, lips downturned, as if it hurt him to say those words to him.
Jeongguk's face fell, still he hoped Jimin didn't notice. He fidgeted with his hands for a while before finding his voice again.
"Give me a chance, please? And if you still don't feel anything at all for me, then I'll give up," he said, voice shaky. Jeongguk waited for an excruciating minute, watching as Jimin gnawed on lips, and then finally titled his chin up and looked at him.
"Okay," he mumbled.
"Okay?" Jeongguk repeated, eyes wide.
"Yeah, okay." Jimin nodded, a blush high up on his cheeks.
Almost a year into pursuing him, and still nothing had happened, Jeongguk had started to lose hope. Maybe Jimin just felt bad and couldn't get himself to reject him because he was just a kind person like that. Always so considerate of other people's feelings, but for once Jeongguk hoped he'd tell him straight in the face that he didn't like him, that this just wasn't working out instead of leading him on, because everyday he’d find it harder to keep on fighting for what seemed to be a lost cause.
But Jeongguk held on for a while longer, and some time later Jimin finally told him he liked him back, that he wanted them to be together. That was one of the happiest days of his life. He couldn't believe someone as amazing as Jimin would want him. He couldn't believe Jimin chose him over all the other people that were tripping over themselves, enamored by his beauty, much like he was. He couldn't believe he had Jimin.
And he couldn't believe it either when Jeongguk asked Jimin seven years into their relationship if he wanted to marry him, and Jimin said yes. Jeongguk was only 24, Jimin 26. He knew that they were still a bit young and that they had so much ahead of them, but Jeongguk wanted this, he was sure Jimin was it, that he wanted to grow old with him and wake up beside Jimin to see his puffy face and sleep-addled morning habits, listen to him talk endlessly about all the cute cats he saw on his way home, and hold him tight when he complied he was too cold at nights. For him it was okay if Jimin rejected him, he could wait and try again, but Jimin said yes and they married as soon as the next year approached.
Marrying Jimin beat the day he said he liked him back all those years ago, and when he showed he wanted to be together with him forever, was one of the happiest moments in his life.
They moved to their new house a few months later. Jeongguk had a stable and a nice-paying job at a law firm, and Jimin had an online business where he sold his fashion items, mostly thrifted items, adding his own touch to them, and remodelling them. His business was growing well and he had built himself a name, and had orders coming in constantly. They were married, had a nice home, and had stable jobs.
Jeongguk still couldn't believe he was married to Jimin, who he had only pined over before, and had somehow also become his long-time boyfriend. Sometimes he'd get all choked up when he'd wake up next to him in their bed, Jimin's face snuggled in his chest, their limbs tangled, sleeping safe and sound beside Jeongguk as he snored lightly, unbelieving that this was his reality now.
Jimin was everything he could ever ask for in a husband. If he thought he couldn't fall in love with him more, he definitely did now. Jimin would wake up an hour or so earlier than Jeongguk to prepare breakfast for him and also a lunchbox because Jeongguk often forgot to eat when he was busy. He always put Jeongguk first, even though he was tired from his business and didn't get enough sleep. He'd also put really cute notes in his lunches that he couldn't help but break into a love-sick smile so often that his co-workers loved teasing him for, but he didn't mind.
Whenever Jeongguk got off of his work early or during his day off, he would help Jimin sort the others he got that day, which went from hundreds a day to almost half a thousand. Jeongguk sat with him quietly, exchanging shy glances and shy smiles, as if they were 17 and 19 again, as they sorted the items and packed all of them so they would be ready for the shipment the next day. Jimin never complained because he loved what he did and actually enjoyed packing items, but Jeongguk would gently pull him by the waist and massage his back because he knew it hurt from hunching for almost a whole day, and then he'd cup his tiny hands in his own and give them a good massage too, and it was always worth it because every time, Jimin would giggle and close the gap between them and kiss him breathless.
On particularly lazy days, they would lie down on the couch with Jeongguk's hand wrapped around Jimin's middle, with the television turned on just for the background noise, not really paying attention to whatever was playing on the screen. Most days, they'd lie there with Jimin sleeping, cheeks squished against Jeongguk's chest, but some days Jeongguk would kiss and lick up his neck, his grip on Jimin's hips tight. Things escalated quickly between them and they would always make a mess on the couch. Jimin blamed it on him, said Jeongguk was too hot and he couldn't help himself when he teased him like that. Jeongguk just laughed, then pinned him down on the couch and kissed him hard.
Jimin never complained that Jeongguk often stayed late at work, past his working hours. He knew how dedicated he was with his work. It didn't matter that he was alone all day long six times a week, his business kept him occupied and he'd finish so late most days, just in time for when Jeongguk came home. As soon as he’d hear their front door click, Jimin would run to him and pull him into a hug, nose buried in his chest. Jeongguk usually pushed his hair back away from his face and leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead, making Jimin beam.
"Have you eaten yet? You got off work really late today," he said, looking at the time in Jeongguk's wrist watch before dragging him to the kitchen. Jimin sat him down on a chair and smiled at him before heating up what he had probably cooked hours ago, and then served it to Jeongguk so he could eat. His mouth watered at the sight.
"No, I got caught up with work," he replied, taking his first bite, groaning at how delicious it was. "Mm! This tastes so good, baby," he said through a mouthful of food, eyes twinkling with happiness. Jimin, who had his head resting on his hand, grinned and kicked his legs excitedly.
"Do you like it?"
Jeongguk nodded. "A lot."
"How was your day? You must be really tired," he sighed, feeling bad for Jeongguk. "Do you want me to run a bath for you?"
"Kind of shitty, to be honest. I messed up and got reprimanded and it sucked, so yes, please!"
Jimin's shoulders sagged. "Oh, no," he said before he got up and off his chair, cupped Jeongguk's face and kissed him on the lips. Jeongguk was frozen for a second before he responded and moved his lips against Jimin's, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him flush against his chest.
"Feels better?" Jimin asked when he pulled away, and Jeongguk saw the apples of his cheeks reddening even under the dim light of the kitchen.
"So much better."
Jimin rarely left the house, he was someone who was more comfortable when alone than in someone else's company. He had his fair share of friends, and he did hang out with them, but maybe not as much as someone his age would. He only went out when necessary; when buying stuff to sell on his online store, getting groceries, going out with Jeongguk, or sometimes the inevitable hangouts with his friends. Jeongguk often encouraged him to go out and have fun, mostly because he was guilty of leaving him alone all day for work and also because he knew he needed to have fun. But Jimin refused, insisting that he was fine with being home and it was the place he found the most peace in.
One day, Jeongguk went home to see Jimin passed out on the couch, a waybill in between his fingers. He had fallen asleep packing orders, he usually didn't, but he must've reached past his limit. Jimin worked so hard.
Jeongguk put his bag down on the couch and then loosened his tie before he carefully scooped Jimin in his hands, carried him bridal style to their room, placed him gently on their bed, tucked a blanket under his chin, and left for the living room to finish packing the rest of the orders.
He finished packing at ten past two, he took a quick shower and slipped into the bed next to Jimin, slinging an arm around his middle and fell asleep quickly.
The next morning, Jeongguk woke up to Jimin peppering kisses all over his face. Jeongguk cracked an eye open while he smiled, and received a kiss on the lips.
"What did I do to deserve all these kisses?" Instead of answering, Jimin stood from where he was sitting on the floor beside the bed, tossed the comforter away and hopped onto Jeongguk's lap.
"Because you're the best husband! And you saved me from angry customers."
Jimin giggled, leaning forward to give him another kiss, squealing when Jeongguk cupped the back of his neck and deepened the kiss. Riled up, Jimin ground his hips against Jeongguk's hardening cock, making Jeongguk gasp in his mouth.
Well, things escalated quickly.
Jimin looked especially good in the morning, with his puffy cheeks, swollen lips and his hair sticking out everywhere, and Jeongguk wanted to fucking combust, dick so hard it ached. They stayed like that, kissing each other breathless, Jimin rocking his hips against him. Jimin got off of him after a while and Jeongguk thought he was done, but then his boxer shorts was being pulled down, and a warm and soft hand wrapped around his cock. Jeongguk hissed when Jimin moved backwards on the bed and took the head into his mouth, his hips bucking up unintentionally, making Jimin gag.
"Sorry," Jeongguk gritted through his teeth. In lieu of an answer, Jimin dipped lower on his cock, his lips stretched wide around him, the tip of his nose brushing against his pelvis. Jeongguk groaned at the sight, pleasure building in his gut, breath shuddering when Jimin ran the tip of his tongue over the slit of his cock. With a few more bobs of his head coupled with languid strokes, he came inside Jimin’s mouth, the other one always so pleasurably drinking it all. Jeongguk pulled Jimin back into his lap and kissed his cheeks, Jimin looking far too innocent for someone who had just swallowed his cum.
"I think I'll pack more often if this is what I get," Jeongguk said playfully, kneading Jimin's ass. Jimin bit his shoulder, earning a well-deserved yelp.
Jeongguk wouldn't believe it if anyone told his younger self that Jimin would ever love him back as much as he did right now, wouldn't believe Jimin would marry him. Only Jeongguk loved him first, but Jimin made up for all the years he had missed and loved him twice as much. He was everything Jeongguk had ever dreamed of, hence why he couldn’t come up with any justifiable reason why he was on a bed that wasn’t his and Jimin’s; naked, body shining with sweat, and holding someone else.
It had been a couple of years since he and Jimin had been married, and nothing had changed, he still loved Jimin, Jimin still loved him. He still looked at him like he hung the moon and the stars, but perhaps that would change when he found out that he had been sleeping with someone else for months now.
Jaesung was his name, he had met him at a club when he and his co-workers went on a night out after an exhausting day at work. Jeongguk had no idea why it happened or why he let it happen, maybe it was mere lust, but one second he was downing a shot of tequila and the next someone was going down on him in the shitty club bathroom and the rest was history. He beat himself up for it every time, told himself it was a mistake, just a one-time thing and that it was okay because Jimin would never find out. But he couldn’t stop, kept coming back to him.
Jaesung was five years younger than him, seven years younger than Jimin. He was immature, careless, attractive, and he was wild, and maybe Jeongguk was thrilled that someone like Jaesung wanted him, that he was okay with being a dirty secret. Jeongguk was thrilled, ‘cause Jaesung would do things for and with him that Jimin wouldn’t, and was too scared to try. Maybe he loved the fact that someone was making him feel this new rush.
It wasn’t like Jimin didn’t make him feel that way, Jimin wasn’t lacking as a partner in any way. Maybe Jeongguk was just some attention-seeking asshole, and having someone new stroke his fragile ego.
Jeongguk swore to Jimin that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt him or jeopardize their relationship, but here he was, balls deep into someone else that wasn’t his husband, someone else’s name leaving his mouth as he reached his climax.
“Damn, that good?” Jaesung teased, a sly smile on his face as he watched Jeongguk chase for his breath.
“Shut up,” Jeongguk said, but there was no bite to it. Jaesung laughed.
“One more?” Jaesung said, hands folded under his chin, batting his eyelashes at him. Jeongguk looked away and caught a glimpse of the clock at the bedside table.
Fuck . It was thirty past one.
“I need to go home,” Jeongguk said, already pulling his pants on.
Jaesung snorted. “Your husband’s probably passed out already.”
Jaesung usually wouldn’t say a word when Jeongguk told him he had to leave, he would roll his eyes and let him go but he was being stubborn right now. “Please, one more?” Jeongguk fought the temptation but failed miserably, hating the way his dick twitched in interest when he saw him already pumping his own cock into hardness.
Jeongguk went home at nearly three in the morning, careful not to make any noise just in case Jimin had fallen asleep in the living room. Thankfully, he wasn’t there, but his heart jumped out of his chest when he saw Jimin was still awake, sitting up against the headboard and reading a book.
“Why are you so jumpy?” Jimin laughed, taking his glasses off and putting his book on the bedside table before walking to him. Jeongguk stiffened when Jimin hugged him. He made sure not to leave any traces of Jaesung on him before he came home but his heart still pounded. Tentatively, he kissed Jimin’s forehead.
“Why are you still awake?” he asked and he hoped he didn’t sound as stiff as he thought. Jimin tilted his chin up from where he rested his head against his chest and looked at him.
“I can’t sleep, I was waiting for you,” he pouted. Jeongguk gulped.
“I-I’m sorry. I got caught up with work and I lost track of the time. You shouldn’t have waited up for me.”
Jimin hummed in understanding, always so trusting. “It’s okay, I wanted to. I missed you, I don’t see you as much lately.”
“I’m sorry,” he repeated. Jimin just smiled at him and they hugged for a few more minutes before he let go. Jeongguk showered, scrubbing at his skin until it was red and painful, hoping there was no trace of his earlier actions left on him. Jeongguk came out of the bathroom and saw Jimin already asleep, and his heart constricted. Jimin was clueless, and he wasn’t the type to accuse anyone because he was kind like that.
Just like any couple, they had their arguments over things but they made up before the day passed because none of them could bear being upset at each other. They didn’t have any serious problems in their relationship. Jimin was the perfect husband and he loved Jeongguk, cared for him like no one else did. He hadn’t fallen out of love with Jimin because his heart still beat a little faster whenever he would see him, his eye-smiles were still Jeongguk’s favorite thing in the world.
They were okay, their relationship wasn’t falling apart, but maybe Jeongguk was.
Some days, he’d feel so guilty that whenever Jimin initiated a kiss, he would turn his head away.
“Oh,” Jimin whispered, hurt written all over his face and Jeongguk felt like utter shit. “What’s wrong? Did you not want me to kiss you? I’m sorry,” he said, stepping back from him.
“It’s—it’s not that. I’m just tired.” Not tired enough to fuck him .
Jimin nodded and left for their room.
Jeongguk needed to stop this, he should stop seeing Jaesung. He couldn't keep lying to Jimin, he couldn't keep hurting him, his conscience eating him alive.
Jimin remained unsuspecting, and like the angel that he was, kept treating him like he had always done, and his guilt was making him crazy. He flinched at every kiss his husband initiated, tensed up when hugged, felt anxious around him every time, terrified that he'd find out and leave him.
Maybe if he stopped now, he could still salvage their marriage.
"Let's stop seeing each other," Jeongguk said firmly right after fucking Jaesung and he was disgusted at himself. Fucking hypocrite. "Let's stop this."
"Oh, so you're fucking done with me now? After using me for months?" Jaesung seethed.
Jeongguk furrowed his brows. "You knew this wasn't going to last. You knew I was using you and you let me," he spat out, glaring daggers at the other. "I can't do this to him anymore."
Jaesung laughed, borderline hysterical. "You fucking care about him now? What, are you going to tell me? That you love him? After you’ve fucked me and cheated on him? That’s hilarious!"
"What the fuck is your problem?" Jeongguk yelled, and Jaesung flinched, features softening.
"I can love you too! I love you. We don't have to stop, alright? I'm okay with this!" He yelled back, eyes wet with tears. "You don't love your husband anymore anyway because if you did, you wouldn't have done this. I can make you happier than he does!"
Jeongguk froze. No, he loved Jimin. This was a mistake. He could come clean, make things right.
"Shut the fuck up!"
"What? Did that hit home? He’ll never forgive you for this anyways Jeongguk," Jaesung scoffed and it was infuriating. He wanted to punch anything, so he did, he punched the fucking wall, denting it, and his hands bled but he felt like he deserved it, and he did. He glared at Jaesung one more time, fists shaking, and then left. He was more angry at himself than anything though.
Jeongguk had stopped seeing Jaesung for a month now, but it was harder than he thought. Not because he wanted him or the sex back, but because whenever Jimin would smile at him, Jeongguk felt like dying.
Would he still smile at him that way if he knew?
Jimin remained in the dark, utterly blind to Jeongguk's actions. He insisted on being everything Jeongguk could ever want, which drove him insane. He couldn't believe he had done such a thing to him. He had been in love with Jimin for a long time. Jimin was the one who offered him everything that he needed. He didn't know how to fix it, and he didn't think he could, but he desperately wanted to. He had no excuse for cheating; it was simply because he was a jerk who couldn't be satisfied with what he had. He forgot how valuable their relationship was because he had grown accustomed to being so high up, and he didn't realize his position until he was thrown to the ground. He had taken Jimin for granted who loved him with everything he had.
Jeongguk wanted to keep it from Jimin, he wanted, so selfishly, to have him forever. But going home to him and seeing his innocent and beautiful eye smiles, the way he would hug him, kiss him and ask him how his day went everyday without fail, his conscience got him and it kept him up at night every single day.
Maybe if he told him, and came clean, he would still have a chance. Maybe he could still save this, fix what he had ruined.
Jeongguk decided to get off work early, like he had been doing the past month. It made Jimin happy, and said he loved that they got more time to themselves now, unlike before. As he got in their house, his ears were buzzing, heart throbbing in his chest and his palms were clammy.
As always, Jimin ran to the door like an overgrown puppy excited to see his owner, and if he had a tail, it would be wagging. Jimin squealed when he saw Jeongguk, kissing him on the lips and tip-toeing for a bone-crushing hug. Jeongguk wanted to throw up.
He couldn't do this any longer.
"Can we talk?" Jeongguk choked out, chewing on his bottom lip.
"What about?" Jimin frowned.
"Take a seat first."
Jimin hesitated but he sat on the kitchen stool, and Jeongguk sat on one in front of him, bouncing his legs.
"What is this about? You're making me nervous! I hate the suspense," Jimin tried to laugh it off but Jeongguk could tell he was anxious.
Jeongguk didn't know how to tell him, if he should tell him. He didn't know what he should say, if he could handle it if Jimin left him after. He didn't know how he should tell his devoted, faithful and loving husband that he had cheated on him.
"Jeongguk, baby, what's wrong?" Jimin got up and off the stool, and tipped his chin up with his fingers, eyes going wide when he saw the tears running down on Jeongguk's face. He felt like shit, he didn't even deserve to fucking cry.
"I'm—fuck, I'm sorry," Jeongguk choked out. He looked at Jimin as he whispered, "I slept with someone else," and wished he hadn't because he saw the exact moment he broke Jimin's heart and crushed it into pieces.
Jimin frowned. "Is this some kind of prank?"
He shook his head, eyes squeezed shut. "No. No, it's not."
"Oh," Jimin croaked out after a few minutes and stepped back, hand falling off Jeongguk’s face, staring blankly at him.
Jeongguk had expected him to yell at him, slap him, punch him, hurt him and even ask for a divorce because he deserved it, and he would understand if he did, but Jimin just stood there and cried silently.
"I'm so sorry," Jeongguk sobbed, and grabbed Jimin's hand, squeezing at it. Jimin pulled away as if he had been burned and his hands shook, his fears coming true.
"How long?" Jimin asked, voice emotionless, but tears slid down his face.
"I—" Jeongguk hesitated. "Three months."
"Oh," Jimin said weakly, looking even more broken. "Okay."
"I stopped seeing him months ago. I-I don't want him, I don't love him. I want you. I love you. I'm so sorry, I don't have anything to say. I'm so sorry." Jeongguk's body racked with the force of his sobs. "Please, say something," he pleaded, but Jimin stayed silent. He reached forward and grabbed Jimin's hands again, pulling them towards him to try to hit himself. "You can hurt me, hit me all you want. I deserve it, just please… say something."
Jimin retracted his hands weakly, like he was going to break any second and wiped his face with the back of his hands, voice shaking when he said, "I would like to b-be alone," before retreating to their bedroom, unstable on his feet. Jeongguk let him go, everything he did catching up to him.
Jeongguk laid on the couch, heart crumbling when he heard Jimin's muffled sobs through the door. He turned the lights off on the living room, and cried himself to sleep.
He woke up the next day and called in sick for work and waited for Jimin to come out of their room. For a moment when he woke up and heard only silence, Jeongguk got scared and thought Jimin had left while he slept. He peeped into the hole and saw Jimin's sleeping figure, relief washing over him. He waited for hours, and it was until afternoon when Jimin finally came out of the room. Jeongguk's heart broke at the sight of him; eyes rimmed red and swollen, mussed up hair, and blotchy face. He looked like a complete wreck.
Jeongguk squirmed on the couch, staring as Jimin went to the kitchen, not sparing him a glance. It fucking hurt, but he deserved it. For the duration of the whole day, he just watched and let Jimin do his thing as if nothing had happened at all.
When the night fell and Jimin was going into the bedroom, Jeongguk spoke up.
"Baby," he said, and Jimin halted his steps. He looked at him and Jeongguk felt a shiver run down his spine from how detached he looked. "Please talk to me," he said, like he deserved it, looking at Jimin with wide and teary eyes.
Jimin didn't bother concealing the way he sighed, and went to sit down at the end of the couch, far from Jeongguk's reach. Jeongguk gulped.
"I'm sorry," he said, and even he himself was tired of hearing it. "Please, don't leave me. Please ." He didn't care that he was begging him to stay, that he looked so pathetic. It was his fault and he wanted to fix it.
"I won't leave," Jimin said after a few moments of silence. "Just…please don't do it again. It—it hurts." His voice broke in the middle, biting his lip to stop the hiccups. “I’ll be better. I’ll try to be good enough for you.”
It wasn't said sarcastically, Jimin meant every word he said and it hit Jeongguk right then. Jimin was blaming himself, not him. He said he was sorry , that he'd be better and try to be good enough when Jeongguk was the one who cheated on him.
" No . It's not you. It's not your fault. It's all me. I'm an unfaithful asshole, I fucked up. Please, please, it's not your fault." Jeongguk repeated those words like a mantra, hoping that the words could get through Jimin.
Jeongguk couldn't explain it but he didn't think he'd ever felt this intensely before. Seeing Jimin so small and broken, his chest was tight with the pain, his body going numb, as if he was being electrified.
"I promise. I—I won't," Jeongguk said desperately, scooting closer to him just for Jimin to stand up abruptly and leave the room.
Just like he had said, Jimin did stay, and Jeongguk was grateful. It was as if nothing changed, just that everything did.
Jimin said he had forgiven him, that it was okay, but it was far from it. He grew painfully distant, he changed and it killed Jeongguk, even more so because it was his fault. Jimin stayed locked in their bed until afternoon, unlike when he would wake at six in the morning to get his day going. It had been a couple of months since they slept together in the same room, since he told Jimin. He understood, Jimin was probably disgusted by him, probably couldn't even stomach to see him. Jimin ate less, sometimes Jeongguk had to remind him to eat or force him to just so he would. He stopped cooking, stopped his online business. He stopped doing what he loved, stopped doing what made him happy and it was all Jeongguk's fault.
Jimin was slowly drifting away, slowly slipping out of his fingers and Jeongguk was terrified.
Jeongguk tried making it up to him in ways he could. He went home early everyday, cooked food for both of them and also stocked some in the fridge for Jimin to eat when he was alone. Jimin wanted some space so he gave him space. He stood as far as he could from him, but he tried to talk to him, tried to make conversation that was immediately cut off by Jimin, and it stung but he deserved it. He tried everything he could even though he knew it was impossible, he could never make up for what he did.
What hurt him the most was that he barely recognized Jimin anymore. He couldn't remember the last time he smiled, couldn't remember the last time he looked at Jeongguk without his eyes immediately filling with unshed tears. He was just a shell of who he used to be. He hated himself for doing this to him, he wished he could turn back time, but he knew couldn't and now he faced the consequences of his actions.
One night, Jeongguk got caught up in work and got home two hours later than he usually did, and when he was in the elevator of their apartment building he realized he hadn't told Jimin, had forgotten to send him a text. When he walked into their house, all the lights were off, no sign of life at all and he panicked, thinking Jimin had left. He searched all over the house, almost turned it upside down only to find Jimin in the bathroom, curled up on himself, sobbing on the floor. Jeongguk swallowed a lump past his throat, blinked the tears back and rushed toward him.
"Baby," Jeongguk mumbled, and he knew Jimin heard him if the way he flinched was any indication, but he ignored him and kept crying, his whole body shaking, breaths coming out in huge puffs, like he couldn't breathe. Jeongguk kneeled down behind him, held his shoulders to get him up but Jimin screamed and thrashed in his hold, kicking his feet. "It's me, Jeongguk. I won't hurt you. It's just me."
Much to his relief, Jimin calmed down, if only a little, and let Jeongguk help him sit up, his arms around his shoulders. Jimin curled his hands tightly on Jeongguk's dress shirt and sobbed against his chest. Ever since Jeongguk told him, this was the first time he had ever seen Jimin like this. Most of the time, he'd heard him crying in their room when he thought Jeongguk wasn't listening and it broke Jeongguk's heart every time to hear him cry, to hear him in so much pain as he struggled to breathe.
"I'm so fucking sorry, baby," Jeongguk cried, his lips pressed on the crown of Jimin's head as he held him. "I'm here now. Fuck , I'm so sorry."
It took a while for Jimin's cries to die down, and Jeongguk expected him to push him away, but he only clung to him harder, burying his face on Jeongguk's chest.
"Guk…" Jimin breathed out. "You're...home." He blinked up at him, eyelashes wet with tears.
It dawned on him then, Jimin thought he wouldn't come home, probably thought he was out fucking some other guy again.
Jeongguk breathed through his nose, shaking the nerves away and pushed Jimin's hair back from his face. "I am. I'm sorry, I was swamped with work and I rushed home. I-I forgot to tell you through text." Jimin looked at him as if he doubted him. He didn't trust him and it was totally valid but it still hurt. "I swear, it's the truth. I...didn't do anything."
Jimin nodded even though he didn't believe him, buried his face on his chest and cried some more. Amidst it all, Jimin fell asleep. Jeongguk carried him to their room and gently put him down on the bed. He didn't deserve it, but he let himself sit beside him on the bed and just stared at Jimin. He looked so peaceful like this, even though his face was swollen, as if he hadn't gotten his heart broken by the person he loved and trusted the most. Jeongguk rested his elbows on his knees and let his head fall on his palms.
If Jimin wanted to leave him, he would let him go. But he selfishly hoped Jimin wouldn't.
Jeongguk had no idea how he ended up in this position but he woke up next morning with a sleeping Jimin in his arms. He didn't want to move, afraid Jimin would wake up and this would all be over. He let himself stare at him, let himself appreciate Jimin's beauty, heart aching when he was reminded of what he did.
Ten minutes later, Jimin stirred awake and much to his disappointment, pulled away from him.
"Good morning," Jeongguk hesitated, eyes meeting Jimin's.
Jimin side-eyed him. "Hi."
"How do you feel?"
Jimin just shrugged, hissing when his head throbbed in pain.
"Do you, uh, want to talk?"
"No," he replied curtly.
Jeongguk swallowed the hurt, and nodded.
He probably got too ahead of himself, and thought that just because Jimin finally showed him a bit of vulnerability, they'd go back to being fine.
Jimin was still as distant as ever, if not more, avoiding Jeongguk in any way, with every chance he could get, like he'd rather die than be near him. He was more irritable too, snapping at Jeongguk every so often. He didn't lock himself up in their room like before, instead he was barely home, and Jeongguk was left alone in their house, wallowing in sadness, slowly losing his mind.
Jimin changed.
He had no idea where Jimin went everyday, couldn't bring himself to ask him, didn't deserve to. Jimin never bothered to tell him, never talked to him. He knew Jimin was faithful to him, but he couldn't help but think that he was seeing someone else, someone better than him. Someone who wouldn't cheat on him just because he felt a little less loved. Someone who was much better than him. It drove him crazy, but he'd brush it away as soon as Jimin came home, relieved.
"Hi, you're...home late."
Jimin scoffed. "So?"
Jeongguk shook his head. "I'm just glad you're safe. You weren't replying to my texts." He hoped he hadn't come off like a possessive or jealous prick. He was just genuinely worried about him.
"Oh, sorry. I was busy dancing with other people, and didn't notice. Didn't care." He grimaced, going further into the room, and that was when Jeongguk saw how disheveled he looked; eyeliner smudged, shirt falling off his shoulder and his hair a mess.
Jeongguk never thought he would ever hear Jimin talk to him like this or act this way but here it was. Jeongguk knew Jimin was purposely trying to hurt his feelings, and it fucking worked because it fucking crushed him. He preferred this over the silent treatment though, at least he was getting what he deserved.
"It's alright."
Jimin tsked, and slammed the door to their room.