Chapter Text
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The first time he almost tells her, it's a revelation to him.
Only a few days earlier he spoke to her about angry warriors and a newfound peace, and this story was the best – perhaps the only - way he knew to share what the last two years had done to him. He didn't fully comprehend the extent of it all when he made up this not so ancient legend, only knew that he was neither able nor willing to define this journey or build borders when he couldn't yet see where it would lead him.
He is about to understand now though.
The change in him came gradually, slowly. Respect. Loyalty. Friendship. She won them all of him, and out here in the Delta Quadrant they did not only mean the world but more often than not survival, too.
He never questioned those little steps he took, nor did he notice just when wanting to make sure she was alright became more ingrained into his nature than was at all required of someone in his position.
For years he had been driven, haunted, restless. Always on the search for something he seemed unable to find.
On Voyager his smiles came more easily, his dreams grew calmer and his heart felt lighter despite the dangers that just appeared to wait for them at every corner. For a time he had thought that it was the distance which was doing him good. That being away from the war and breaking his life down to one single task was what set him at ease:
Bring this crew back home.
It's what they agreed on. It's their premise. But it's not what helped him let go of his anger.
She is sitting right next to him now. Bare arms are slung loosely around her legs, her chin resting on her knees as she watches the sun set.
They do that sometimes, here, on this planet that they named New Earth. They walk up to that little hill close to their camp, sit down in silence until night is falling and her shoulders sink in relaxation. Usually, by that point he has already made up his mind on what to cook them for dinner.
Her chest rises and falls in an easy rhythm. She undid her braid on her way up, allowing her hair to flow freely across her shoulders, contrasting nicely with her blue dress. The gentle breeze plays lazily in it, sends it dancing around her delicate frame to almost glow in the late evening light.
He mimics her pose, his thoughts free and wandering. He watches the sun draw patterns on her skin that remind him of warm summer days and of home. For the first time in what feels like forever he is truly content and it's right then that, without warning, it hits him. The realisation is as earth-shattering as it is trivial, because being honest with himself he already knew, didn't he? But seeing her like this – without any of her walls up – he is struck by the scope of it all.
He loves her.
Truly. Unequivocally.
Wholly.
It fills his entire being, consumes him in the best possible way. His lips part, his breath hitches in his throat. Something irrational in him wants her to know.
In the same instant a flock of birds rises from the nearby trees, like diamonds in the darkening sky. She looks up at them, an unexpected trace of sadness and of longing in her eyes as she watches them disappear from view, and the moment is gone.
He cannot burden her with this when she is still learning to let go.
His lungs release the air he held in them while his gaze follows hers into the distance.
It doesn't matter, he figures. He has all the time she needs.