Work Text:
As Eddie is shot, he analyzes.
Eddie has seen his share of GSWs. He knows instantly that the sniper missed. His heart was not hit, nor his head. Something was definitely nicked, though. His subclavian artery? He’s not sure.
What he does know is how his body will respond. He will bleed, and the blood going to his tissues will diminish. His BP will drop. His heartrate will skyrocket, trying desperately to make up the difference. Eventually, he will become unconscious, as his brain is deprived of the oxygen it needs. The longer his body goes without oxygen, the more likely it will be that he dies.
He knows. He’s seen it, he’s treated it. But he’s never understood it – not like this.
*
As Eddie stares, he thinks.
Who is responsible for this? The mother? No, she was in the ambulance. That doesn’t make any sense. Must be unrelated, then. Oh, shit – the kid. That poor kid, he’s trapped in the ambulance, no one he trusts left to take care of him. Eddie was supposed to take care of him – was supposed to take care of Christopher. Oh, God. Christopher. What will happen to Christopher? Will Pepa take care of him? Eddie doesn’t want her to be overworked, and his abuela certainly can’t handle the stress. It has to be Buck. Eddie wouldn’t want it to be anyone else watching his son.
Oh.
Buck.
*
As Eddie falls, he feels.
Buck – his Buck, Christopher’s Buck. His family. Eddie watches Buck now, watches him be pushed aside, just narrowly missing a bullet of his own. Eddie thinks he is relieved, somewhere in the distant recesses of his mind. Buck doesn’t deserve to suffer like that. And if Christopher has to lose his father – God, he hates what he might be putting his kid through – he wants, no, he needs him to have Buck. For them to have each other.
Finding Buck was the safe haven Eddie never knew he needed when he moved to LA, but he knows he’d be lost a dozen times over if it weren’t for him. Taking him to Christopher after the earthquake, introducing him to Carla, building a skateboard for his son, the tsunami – the tsunami –
There aren’t enough words for all he feels for the man in front of him. He sees him, frozen still, and he tries – he tries so hard to reach for him. It feels like Buck is a thousand miles away, but out of the corner of his eye he sees Buck reach for him too, and he knows: Buck hears him.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
*
As Eddie fades, he prays.
God, please – please don’t take me. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be selfish, but I can’t – not yet – I can’t leave Christopher, please don’t make me leave my son. I know Buck will take care of him, but please – don’t make him, not all alone. I love him. I love them. My family. I don’t want to leave my family.
*
As Eddie’s eyes fall closed, he is quiet.