Chapter Text
Elles partiront dans l’ivresse
The title of this story is taken from a powerful book (Original title : Ils partiront dans l’ivresse / English version : Outwitting the Gestapo), written by Lucie Aubrac. Aubrac was a French Resistance member who kept a diary during WWII, in which she told her story and that of her family and friends living under the Nazi occupation. The original book title refers to one of the code phrases used by Free French Forces, living in the UK and providing encoded information and assistance via the BBC. « Ils partiront dans l’ivresse » is the specific line by which Lucy Aubrac knew a plane was on its way to take her and her family to a free zone.
Chapter 1 : I Follow Rivers
« I, I follow,
I follow you Deep sea baby,
I follow you I, I follow,
I follow you Dark doom honey,
I follow you »
I follow rivers – Lykke Li (2011)
There they were. Facing each other. Standing completely still, barely aware of the world around them. Even from a few metres away, Villanelle could see both fear and relief swimming together in Eve’s eyes. Despite the physical distance between them, she could feel Eve’s inner battle, smell it in the air. It made her shiver.
In direct contrast to this hyperawareness, Eve’s tear-filled eyes kept her from noticing Villanelle’s shallow breathing and the involuntary thrills running all over her body. And this was exactly how Villanelle needed it to be : because just as Villanelle was always acutely aware of her counterpart’s emotions in that moment, she was unable to cope with the reality of her own feelings, her own weaknesses.
A minute passed, and there they were still. Standing, facing each other, unable to turn around and unable to leave, but equally unable to take a decision, either. They needed a sign, some divine help, anything. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Eve broke the silence between them : « It’s not that easy, huh ? »
Villanelle offered her a genuine smile. « I’m sorry. I really thought you’d leave. »
« Well, I didn’t…» Eve tightened her coat around her waist and took a few steps forward. « I’m not that brave, after all. »
A light laugh escaped Villanelle’s mouth. « In our situation, Eve, it’s not bravery you should look for, it’s common sense. »
Villanelle moved forward to meet Eve at the same spot they were about to leave each other a few minutes before. Eve smiled. « Yeah - common sense. I guess I don’t have a lot when it comes to you and me.»
They were now close enough to touch each other. Eve was actually picking up on Villanelle’s signs of anxiety now that she was a few centimeters away from her face. The blonde girl was biting her lower lip and subtly avoiding eye contact.
« Maybe we should try again. Until it works ? » Eve said, so unsure of herself she burst into laughter. « I mean… if you have a few decades to spare for…this. »
Villanelle stared directly into Eve’s eyes, and then suddenly grabbed and pulled her tightly close. Eve didn’t fight back. Instead she leaned into Villanelle’s body, burying her face in her neck so that she was intoxicating her with her smell. It poisoned her last coherent thought of leaving. « Yeah, maybe… »
They stood there in silence, inhaling each other, feeling each other, cherishing the almost peaceful moment. Eve’s eyes were tightly closed, as if to prevent the memories she was making of this moment from ever escaping her soul.
Suddenly, Villanelle tightened her embrace around Eve’s shoulders. « We have visitors, Eve. » she murmured into her ear, her Russian accent sharp.
She hugged Eve fiercely to prevent her from moving. « Don’t move. Check the other side of the bridge - do you see people coming ? »
Eve’s eyes opened and she reluctantly removed her face from Villanelle’s warm neck. « I… I don’t know… I don’t see anyone suspicious. » She tried to escape Villanelle’s embrace but the blonde woman continued to wrap her arms strongly around her.
« Don’t move, they haven’t seen us for now. »
« Who are they ? » Eve’s voice was trembling and she was pretty sure she was only able to stand because Villanelle was holding her.
« Who cares ? MI6 ? FSB ? The 12 ? They are here for us. »
Eve couldn’t prevent tears of fear from falling from her eyes. Her whole body was shaking.
« There are two people coming from the other side » she murmured, terrified.
Villanelle broke their embrace to face her, her hands clawed into Eve’s arms. « Hey, Hey ! Eve, look at me ! »
Villanelle’s face was calm, almost cold. Her eyes were focused on Eve. « It’s not a good time to panic. We have to make a decision. Now. »
Eve nodded silently, unable to restrain her tears.
« We don’t have many choices. If we stay here, they’ll catch us. We know too much after this evening. »
Villanelle’s hands released Eve. « There’s only one way to escape. »
Eve was looking at her, eyes wide opened, not quite understanding what the blonde woman was talking about. Villanelle’s right hand gently stroked Eve’s cheek when she said in a whisper « We need to jump.»
Eve’s body froze and she almost screamed. « WHAT ? Are you out of your mind ? You told me five minutes ago that I’d die if I jumped off that bridge ! »
« There’s a chance we might do serious damage if we jump, yes. But if we don’t, we’ll die for sure, Eve. »
Villanelle’s tangled her fingers of her left hand in Eve’s hair. The brunette’s legs were shaking ominously, threatening to collapse under her from the coursing adrenaline of fear.
« That’s insane ! » she muttered « I… I can’t do that »
« Eve, look at me » Villanelle’s voice was sharp, tensed.
Eve raised her face to meet the hazelnut-colored eyes she dreamt about every night for months now. They were so close that Eve could smell Villanelle’s perfume.
« You can’t, but I can. » she offered Eve a shy smile. « They’ll find us in a minute now » She looked upon Eve’s shoulder « Maybe less. I need to know one thing. »
« What ? »
« Do you trust me ? »
Eve’s heart skipped a beat.
« I do. »
Villanelle’s hands reluctantly released Eve’s face and hair. She took a deep breath and in one expert movement, climbed onto the railing of the bridge. She took a few second to find her balance, then offered her hand to Eve, who was looking at her from above, petrified but mesmerized.
« Come with me. »
It took Eve 2 seconds to finally make this cornelian choice she hadn’t had the courage to make. She climbed onto the railing, her breath shallow, and offered her body to the wind and the night. And to Villanelle.
« Don’t look down ! » commanded Villanelle. « Look at me. »
Eve’s eyes focused on Villanelle. She couldn’t help but find her incredibly beautiful and powerful, balancing on that railing, her yellow coat as a kind of rampart against the dark water below.
« They have probably seen us now. » Villanelle’s Russian accent was strangely reassuring in its thickness. « I need you to listen carefully. Remain totally straight and stiff during the fall. And whatever happens when we reach the water, don’t let go of my hand. Okay ?»
« Okay. »
Villanelle expertly moved on the railing to wrap herself around Eve. She could feel the other woman’s eratic heartbeat against her own chest. She looked around one last time, saw at least four people starting to run towards them. Villanelle closed her eyes, buried her face in Eve’s neck and murmured softly
« Are you ready to jump, Baby ? »
Eve was unable to speak, she made a weak, fearful whimper as an answer. Villanelle’s body arched and she made her and Eve’s bodies, joined together, fall gracefully, silently, almost in slow motion, into the void between them and the loud rumble of the Thames.
***
*
Eve didn’t scream during the fall, as if her voice had stayed on the bridge together with her previous life. It lasted only a few seconds and yet she felt like she spent hours in the air, her body locked in Villanelle’s, warm and secure, removed from any coherent thought.
The Thames woke her up from this suspension. The water wrapped her in a violent and frozen embrace, emptying her chest. She felt something breaking in her body but the pain didn’t come, as if she were already dead and viewing scene from another perspective. She tried to breathe but water filled her mouth and lungs. She tried to move her legs, to try to reach the surface, but the weight of the current was far stronger than her. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see, couldn’t feel anything. She could, however, understand what was happening in that instant but, gratefully, she didn’t feel it. However, panic didn’t come either Only one thought was floating at the periphery of her consciousness : keeping Villanelle’s hand in hers.
She spent seconds, maybe minutes, out of her body, not living, not dead, unable to fight for her life, but just floating in a cold, moving, hostile limbo. Until suddenly, she felt something, someone, fiercely pulling her against something, someone soft. One second later, pain and suffocation ripped any coherent thought away from her, and she passed out.
***
*
What seemed like hours later, Villanelle woke to her entire body aching. She was laying on a muddy bank, Eve’s unconscious body against her. She was unable to move or breathe properly for a second, her mouth forgetting to breath and crying Eve’s name instead. There was blood and mud all over her clothes and face. She coughed roughly for a minute, her body shaking uncontrollably.
« Eve ! Eve ! Eve ! »
The small woman’s body was inert and cold against her’s. Villanelle managed to get herself up on her knees to provide first aid. Eve wasn’t breathing, and her usually red full lips were blue. Villanelle put her hands on Eve’s chest and started to give her CPR with the minimal strength she had left.
« Come on, Eve ! » She was crying so much she couldn’t see anything.
She bent over Eve’s face and blew three times into her mouth. Nothing happened. Villanelle could feel a panic attack welling up inside her exhausted body. She cried and screamed while pushing on Eve’s chest again and again.
« Come on Eve ! Don’t leave me alone here ! »
A few times in her life she’d faced true, pure fear. The kind that makes your heart beat so strongly you think it might burst. The kind that makes everyone, even the most atheist of atheists, pray. So, while frantically trying to make Eve breathe again, Villanelle prayed. She prayed to every available God or Goddess that could hear her to save Eve. She made, as an offering, the unorthodox promise that she would spend the rest of her life searching for all 12-related people to kill them so Eve could live the rest of her life in safety. She also promised she would give her life in exchange for Eve’s.
« Please ! Eve ! Come back to me ! »
Suddenly, Eve’s whole body arched and water escaped her mouth, along with a strangled cry. Villanelle turned Eve’s face to the wet ground to let her find her breathing. She leaned against Eve, shaking, tears all over her face.
« You’re alive ! Thank you ! » She lay down on the cold ground, still slightly aware of their precarious situation, but unable to do anything else. She buried her face in Eve’s neck and closed her eyes. Eve’s breathing was improving, her shaking body seemed to calm down. They were alive, safe. For now. Eve muttered in a broken voice :
« I’ll never swim with you again. »
Then she passed out again, her head falling heavily on the ground.
« Oh yes, you will, Baby ».