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“I’m on the medication, there’s no chance anything bad could happen”
“Bad” he says, as though getting pregnant by Will is the worst thing he could imagine. The actual sentiment— which Ethan vows to take to his grave— is more along the lines of “inconvenient”. It wouldn’t do to have a pregnancy slowing him down while he’s on assignment, and if IMF knew? Shit, they’d put him on leave for god knows how long.
Will sighs.
“Listen, Ethan…”
He looks distinctly uncomfortable, trying not to stare, trying not to breathe too deeply while they’re alone in this safehouse bedroom together. And Ethan is all ears, big, too-bright eyes and sweaty temples, more than eager to listen.
Will can’t seem to finish the sentence, and Ethan knows he’s won, knows that he has Will cornered. Because for all of his talents as an analyst, Will can’t come up with a single logical reason not to give Ethan the comfort he wants— all his reasons are emotional, and emotion has no place on the job. Ethan knows this, and feels a little cruel… but only a little. He’s torturing himself too, considering how long they’ve been dancing around this thing between them. Will likes him… and he likes Will— more than a little. It seems unfair to the both of them to sidestep the necessary rituals so callously and get straight to fucking.
But Ethan needs this.
His heat is a dreadful, dire buzzing underneath his skin and behind his eyes. He’s too cold, he’s too hot, he can’t stop sweating, he can’t stop piling on layer after layer of suffocating clothing in a mockery of the nest he really wants to build.
He’s been managing it alright so far, but the hours are stretching longer, and the flash of seconds on his digital watch seems to keep getting slower and slower, throbbing in time with the awful ache inside him. There’s no more ignoring it now, and for the sake of the mission, Will needs to know.
“I’m listening.”
“But … fuck, what the hell am I supposed to say? You know I can’t say no to you.”
“We can make it quick if you prefer.”
Based on the look that Will is giving him, Ethan suspects that Will does not prefer.
“Ethan…”
“Will, it’s gonna get a lot worse before it gets better, but if you do this for me it’s gonna calm me down a whole lot. I’ll get a full night’s sleep, and we might not lose any time at all.”
And sure, Ethan already knows he’s won, and he was expecting Will’s familiar resignation to one of Ethan’s bad ideas… but the unexpected sadness in Will’s eyes makes his hollow victory echo even deeper, like a stone thrown down an empty well. Maybe this isn’t really worth it after all… but he’s already come this far.
“I…”
The look on Will’s face is too much, and to spare him the pain of verbal capitulation, Ethan hooks one finger into the waistband of Will’s trousers and pulls him the rest of the way into the bedroom before kicking the door shut. Seconds later he has Will pressed against the wall, and is already starting to undo his pants.
“You don’t have to do anything Will… I’ll take care of—“
But Ethan doesn’t get to finish that thought before Will is knocking his hands out of the way with a clumsy frustration that belies his considerable combat skills.
“I can do this part myself, alright?”
...Which is what Will says moments before standing there with his pants unzipped, looking completely lost.
“Relax, okay? Just relax,” Ethan replies, giving Will some momentary space as he undoes his own zipper, pushing his jeans down low on his hips.
The resulting effect isn’t quite instantaneous, but the cloying scent of Ethan’s heat hits Will like a sack of wet cement, pinning him to the wall as effectively as Ethan’s arms had just moments before. Wincing, Ethan reaches to swipe one finger through the slick between his legs, as if he himself had momentarily forgotten just how pungent he’s become.
Will recoils as though he’s been struck.
“Jesus, Ethan!”
For a second, he looks almost disgusted with Ethan, with Ethan’s heat, with this whole inconvenient scenario… and that’s enough to bring back all the petty cruelty in Ethan’s heart. Good, he thinks. Let him suffer like I’m suffering. Let him feel how I feel.
Not bothering to apologize (or bothering with words at all) he reaches for Will again, and pulls Will’s cock out of his fly with an eerie efficiency. Will is stiff as a branch already, but with the air between them this thick, Ethan can’t imagine he wouldn’t be.
“I’ll take care of it, okay? I’ll be quick, just like I said.”
Leaning in close, Ethan slots their hips together, Will’s cock fitting neatly between his slick thighs and snug against his cunt. He falters then, his head swimming with need, his eyes and lungs full of the fog of heat.
Conversely, Will’s expression is pure alarm, his mouth falling open in a wordless cry of incredulity… and he looks so helpless, and God Ethan wants him so much.
“Put your arms around me,” Ethan says, the room feeling like it’s about to turn upside down. And Will wordlessly complies, his pupils large and dark enough to stick Ethan’s gaze in place like tar.
Ethan moves his hips then, hitching up on tiptoe again and arching forward, once, twice… and then on the third stuttering lunge, the head of Will’s cock catches and slips inside him.
“AH…”
It’s like ripping off a bandage, and Ethan is already coming, shuddering with the orgasm he’s held at bay for so long, groaning as if in pain. He tries to hold still and just let his body react, his cunt doing a fast, hard squeeze around Will’s length.
“Ethan, holy shit…”
But Will won’t be still, he’s panicking and his hands are everywhere, touching Ethan everywhere and landing nowhere, gripping his hair, his chin, his throat.
“Will, it’s okay…”
“No, it isn’t fucking okay! We need to talk about this, you can’t just—“
Ethan’s knuckles make a hollow thump against the cheap wood plank behind them as he pins Will’s wrist to the wall.
“So we’ll do it out of order! We’ll make it up as we go along… just like always!”
Ethan’s voice isn’t quite right. It’s a little too high-pitched, a little too fragile… and it changes something in Will’s expression, a new layer settling on top of the sadness as lightly as newfallen snow.
“Just like always,” he concedes, and eases his wrist from Ethan’s grip. His touches are seemingly done wandering now, and his arms circle slowly around Ethan’s shoulders to hold him steady. Ethan can’t tell if he’s trembling, or if it’s just a natural contrast to Will’s terrifying stillness. And all of a sudden, Ethan wants to be done, wants to be across the room from Will, wants to be a thousand miles from Will and this thing he’s made Will do. But the needs of the body lock him in place, and his reply is so small and helpless that it makes him sick.
“I… I just need a little more.”
“Do it, then. I’ll be whatever you need, Ethan.”
The solicitousness in Will’s voice makes Ethan want to rear and fight, but his hips are already moving against Will’s again, lifting and dropping, trying to fit Will’s cock deeper inside him in this awkward standing position. It’s more than enough, though…. Will’s body smells good. Alpha and aroused, his sweat close enough to taste now, if Ethan were to reach out. If Ethan had the right to reach out.
“Oh fuck…”
“Will….”
Ethan’s cunt is gripping and shuddering again before he even realizes he’s having a second orgasm, and Will’s name leaves his lips in a sigh that desperately wants to become a scream. But Will is just tension and silence and that awful, awful stillness.
“Is that enough?” He asks, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously. And Ethan knows he takes way, way too long to give him an answer.
“…No.”
“No?”
The mania of heat is still shimmering and seething in his guts, and Ethan knows that if he isn’t honest with them both right now, then this all will have been for nothing. Will will pull out and leave him bereft, with nothing but awkwardness and doubt to whisper in his ear all night long as he tosses and turns, soaked in sweat and pheromones, his cunt cramping around nothing… and Ethan knows he won’t be able to live through that. Not all of him, anyway.
“I won’t calm down, like—really calm down or be able to sleep unless you…come inside me.”
Will doesn’t make a sound, but he finally drops that heavy, sticky gaze that makes Ethan feel like he can’t breathe. It occurs to him that he’s been in gunfights that have felt less tense. Will doesn’t reply, and doesn’t reply, and keeps on not replying until Ethan is losing his mind, and taking matters into his own hands quite literally.
“What are you doing? Ethan!”
But Ethan has already leaned back far enough to wrap his thumb and forefinger around the base of Will’s cock, easing off of him so only the tip still remains inside, milking him slow at first… and then faster.
“It’s fine, you don’t even have to move, just stay still, stay way too still like you have been, and fucking come inside m-“
Will’s hands come up to grip his shoulders and push him off, and Ethan makes an ugly gasp of dismay as their bodies separate. Slick gushes out of him as Will’s cock slips free, soaking his pubic hair and the front of his jeans, and it’s a long moment before either of them can look at each other.
Finally, Will speaks.
“Not to sound like a broken record… but I can do this part myself.”
He moves his hands to Ethan’s waist and walks him back toward the bed, laying him down much too gently and peeling his damp jeans off his legs. Ethan knows Will has never seen him like this before, but Will takes everything in stride, parting Ethan’s knees and climbing on top of him.
“I’m going to fuck you now, Ethan. Because I want to. Because I care about you, and I want to help you.”
Ethan wants to reject him, wants to retort that “care” is a poor word for what they’ve been doing for years, and that when (if) they make it through this assignment alive, it will all be addressed in the conversation they’re saving for later. That he will show Will exactly how inadequate “care” sounds as an adjective to describe their regard for one another, and that doing this fucked-up courtship all out of order will mean precisely shit in the grand scheme of things.
But the brief lucidity that anger bestows is banished the second Will mounts him. He does it calmly like Ethan is just another sweet-smelling omega to be had and not Ethan Hunt, the most feared and revered persona of the Impossible Mission Force. Like he’s not the love of Will’s life.
Just as Ethan promised, it doesn’t take long. Ethan is so wet that friction is a thing of the past, and the sound that Will’s cock makes as it spears him over and over is a filthy, primal thing. Ethan wants to fuck back, wants to buck and writhe and wrap his limbs around Will until all his muscles cramp and lock, wants Will to knot him hard enough to tie them together for the rest of the night. Instead, Will keeps him at arms length, holding his knees apart and fucking his cunt until Ethan comes again, crying and snarling, unkissed and unkempt.
Will barely even makes a sound when he comes, just gives one long icy shudder and grips the base of his own cock to keep his knot from swelling as he spills. He’s a creature of efficiency now, keeping his emotions cool and dry, keeping their sex “convenient”. Ethan would like to claw that placid look off his face, if Will’s come wasn’t having the desired effect.
It’s a heady snap of warmth, and Ethan’s hormones are finally responding, the feel of Will’s spend inside him drugging him pliant, and making his vision swim with tears of relief. Will is in deep, pulsing slowly, and Ethan lets the fire and rage drain out of him like pus from a wound.
His legs fall open easily now, and his mind alights in a place where he welcomes Will’s seed. Behind his eyelids, he entertains another life in the span of seconds, where a fresh mating mark is healing just out of sight under the collar of his t-shirt. His clothes stop fitting properly, and he has Will’s hands to caress his wantonly swelling midsection. The ninth month finds him straining over a carefully crafted nest of his own making, his overfull body laboring his and Will’s offspring into the world. No one needs “Agent Hunt” anymore, and Ethan can fade into quiet obscurity and lose himself in love instead of duty.
It’s soft and rose-tinted, and Ethan knows it will vanish the moment he opens his eyes again. But Will will be there, and Ethan realizes (perhaps belatedly) that the conversations they’ve been putting off are something he’s looking forward to.