Chapter Text
December, 1997.
The modern miracle of mako energy was an incredibly helpful resource, but it was not a resource that was easily accessed as a front line SOLDIER. They were often deployed in areas that relied on other industries, industries that Shinra had usually already shut down or bombed out to lower Wutai's defensive abilities so there was no using them. Even necessities such as light, heat and food storage had to be set up at camps and those were the priorities. There was a lot of hurry up and waiting, particularly in the case of a SOLDIER First which had to be utilised to their full potential, but with little to do and as the weather had turned colder, the little power to spare for recreational usage made most SOLDIERs irritable and Genesis was no exception.
While Genesis could indulge himself in LOVELESS by firelight, after four months of the slog, it had been a welcome change of pace to have Sephiroth join him for one last push inland. Not that he could say as much – wouldn't want it going to his head – but even for the briefest stint that he was in trooper training, Genesis had never gotten along well with his fellow troopers or SOLDIERs and Sephiroth was in his own strange way one of the few people who seemed more than willing to engage with him. In simple terms, Genesis had missed having his friend around even if he didn't like the implication he couldn't manage the last push on his own.
Sephiroth had explained it was not a matter of ability but one of time; the President was going to be unveiling some new horrible contraptions in a bid to placate the Midgar bigwigs and financiers, so naturally he wanted the most accomplished members of SOLDIER there for the event. It would be the first time all three had any time together since July and more to the point, he had not seen his boyfriend in four months and things were getting a little bit out of hand using only his hands.
If you added Sephiroth to that equation, it added another layer of difficulty because Sephiroth was undeniably, ethereally and disgustingly beautiful no matter where he was or what he was doing. While saying his teenage crush on his friend had returned felt juvenile, Genesis could hardly deny where his mind wandered when he was fantasizing and things had begun to get a little awkward from it. Friendly touches felt like a static shock to his system, feeling the lingering warmth on his skin long after he'd moved his hands away and it was distracting, intolerably so.
It wasn't as if he didn't still feel hopelessly, wonderfully in love with Angeal and desperately want him, but Angeal was not here so he imagined it to be a fantasy of convenience. Sephiroth was here, attractive and he was certainly not the only person there employing him in their carnal fantasies so he shouldn't feel guilty about it. He had no idea where this sudden practical streak his fantasizing had decided to enforce came from, but it really had made the last few weeks more difficult because it wasn't as if he could explain that he was just a very physically charged person and that he loved sex, the feeling of it, the demanding spotlight of it and that going without made him feel bereft and disconnected. It felt as if he were asking for something and while Sephiroth was usually accommodating and he doubted he'd mind his guest starring role, it felt wrong to use a friend that way without permission to do so.
So Genesis had done his best to stay busy despite the limited resources, but getting on the carrier back to Midgar was more than welcome. Even bunched in with Thirds who needed to be pulled back into line when they got too rowdy was worth it to see Midgar up ahead, the beacon of the city against the still dark morning sky welcoming them home. Signal came back to his PHS and Genesis found himself smiling as he looked through the latest pictures Angeal had posted of his plants which were slowly but surely waging a takeover campaign of their own on his apartment. With any luck, one of the messages he sent earlier that failed but said it would try to send again over a secure connection would go through and Angeal would meet them.
As they disembarked and the SOLDIER Thirds went running the moment they could, Genesis tried not to deflate from Angeal's conspicuous absence. Perhaps he had simply not been missed in the same way he had missed Angeal or he was away on a mission of his own. Even Sephiroth must have noticed, because he put his hand on Genesis's shoulder hesitantly and said that Angeal may not be awake yet, but once they had gone through their respective medical check ins and debrief, he would be. He must look like quite the sad sack if even Sephiroth was noticing.
“Where's the fire?” Director Lazard exclaimed as he met them on the landing. “I just had a group of Thirds running for dear life. You didn't use fire materia on the carrier again, did you?”
“Certainly not,” Genesis replied. A fire in such close quarters required a level of control his distracted mind would not handle well.
“He treated them to a reading of LOVELESS on the ride back,” Sephiroth replied.
“A reading?” Lazard asked.
Sephiroth smirked, “Or twelve.”
“I see,” Lazard said, nodding slowly.
“None of you have an ounce of taste between you,” Genesis declared, even if Lazard was actually quite dapper at the moment. Perhaps he'd invested in a good personal shopper.
“Welcome back,” Lazard replied. “If there's been no trouble, I'll schedule a debrief for this afternoon after you've had medicals and a decent meal.”
Sephiroth ducked his head in agreement and Genesis followed suit, even if what he wanted right now was to lay down in his ridiculously large bath and feel every ache in him soothe. Save for one, he supposed, but he was sure Angeal would be amenable to soothing that one when he decided to join them in the land of consciousness.
Or perhaps sooner, as when they entered the building, Angeal came bounding up with the most adorably messed up hair and if he was not mistaken, his harness on backwards.
“I got your message fifteen minutes ago,” he said, coming to a skidding a stop in front of them. “You're both okay?”
“I'm well,” Sephiroth replied. “You look disheveled.”
“Bit of a rush,” Angeal admitted, but before he could launch himself into a diatribe about his oh so fascinating morning, Genesis pulled at his stomach guard to get his attention then used his other hand to pull him into a kiss: not a chaste, welcoming and public one but one he hoped communicated that he'd been dreaming for weeks of his weight driving into the bed, leaking and desperate and moaning his name over and over.
“Genesis!” Angeal hissed breathlessly, pulling his mouth pack. “We're in public!”
Privacy was hard to come by here, so they did try to keep things behind closed doors. Angeal was not entirely comfortable with the idea of wearing his sexuality on his sleeve the way Genesis was, so while they weren't hiding it specifically, they also did not advertise it.
“They won't say anything if they know what's good for them,” Genesis licked his tongue over his lower lip, satisfied that Angeal took the time to watch it.
The sound of the generic PHS beep that indicated a text did sully the mood a little as Sephiroth fished his PHS from his pocket. Genesis decided he was going to change that noise to something ridiculous the first moment he could. “We're supposed to be getting work ups,” he said, the neutral façade slipping just slightly at the realisation that this was nor going to be a quick once over but a more thorough undertaking. None of them enjoyed it, but Hojo had always been especially heinous and on occasion, he could be gone for a day, perhaps even two.
If Hollander ever tried to do that without due cause, Genesis would introduce his face to the bottom of Genesis's boots.
“I'm teaching this morning,” Angeal replied, putting his hand on Genesis's to pluck it from the stomach guard. Genesis fought the urge to pout. “I'll be done at lunch. I could make something.”
“Or we could just keep the Science division waiting an extra twenty minutes,” Genesis suggested, pushing up on his toes so he could press his forehead to Angeal's. “Maybe ten, I love a challenge.”
Maybe even less than that. Genesis had been harbouring the idea that Angeal, for all his fluster, seemed to find a little playing in front of Sephiroth attractive. Or at the very least, Genesis's more showy tendencies were rubbing off on him finally and it added something to it to have Sephiroth right there. If he were a betting man, Genesis would put a decent bit of gil on him finding Sephiroth as interesting as he did even if he was far too honour-bound to admit such a thing. It didn't take much to test his theory, pressing his mouth against Angeal's again and putting his hand through his still damp hair.
Sephiroth naturally had to wreck the whole proceeding. “Incoming.”
It was followed by the vocal equivalent of nails on a blackboard via Hollander calling his name as if that was going to deter him.
"Put him down and come downstairs!” Hollander actually sounded a little flustered, perhaps he was a little bit of a prude and it was always a little bit of fun to mess with him. So Genesis didn't let go, instead flipping Hollander off from behind his shoulder without turning around to face him and smiling into the kiss as he heard the telling throat clear that meant Sephiroth found it funny enough to laugh but as usual, didn't have it in him to do so uproariously. One day he was going to make him.
Angeal, however, had put on his most annoying shoes on today and pulled away. “Lunch,” he said, looking over Genesis in a way that made his whole skin prickle to life. “I'll make dinner tonight for the three of us.”
“You can catch up,” Sephiroth offered obligingly, checking his PHS again. “We could eat tomorrow night.”
“Tonight will be fine,” Angeal insisted. “I want to see you too.”
Oh, for crying out loud, between Angeal trying not to let Sephiroth feel left out and Hollander whinging, he was doomed to live a life of celibacy. “If you're able to stand and cook for an hour tonight, I'm rustier than I thought.”
“Go,” Angeal gave him a little push. “I need to go get ready for the Third classes .”
“The wandering soul knows no rest,” Genesis grumbled, pulling away with slumped shoulders. “Did you at least miss me?”
“I always miss you,” Angeal said dopily. Cute.
Sephiroth at least held the elevator for him but didn't hold it for Hollander. Genesis had ordered a set of sparkly gold stars before he'd left for such behaviour and he supposed, if he were feeling generous later, they could have dinner together just so he could affix one to his coat in recognition of misbehaviour well learned.
“Is that why you're distracted?” Sephiroth asked after a beat. “You – missed Angeal?”
“Did you not miss him?” Genesis asked, because if he was so obvious in his distraction Sephiroth had noticed, it was a little embarrassing.
“I did,” Sephiroth answered, almost as if he didn't particularly want to admit to something as human as missing someone. “But your relationship has changed and you've been sloppy.”
“I have not been sloppy,” Genesis snapped back at him. “Yes, I missed my boyfriend but I am not some lovesick ingénue incapable of functioning without him and to imply as much is insulting to us both.”
“I meant no offense,” Sephiroth replied, and damn him, he probably didn't. It was just a natural talent to sound so accusatory when it came to questioning Genesis's abilities.
“It's difficult to be parted for long periods and maintain the level of intimacy we like,” Genesis huffed. “Not to mention the lack of a halfway decent orgasm in months.”
Sephiroth started at him blankly for a minute. “You take care of it yourself.”
“Of course I take care of it myself!” Genesis rolled his eyes. “It's just not the same as it is with someone else. Surely even you know that.”
“No,” Sephiroth replied.
“If it's no better with another person, you're fucking the wrong men, or women or otherwise inclined.” Genesis looked him over for a moment. It occurred to him that he had never really figured out who or what Sephiroth liked. It had never come up what got him up. “I don't think you've ever told me what do you like.”
“No,” Sephiroth echoed.
“Why not?” Genesis asked. After everything they had been through together, surely it wasn't a lack of trust. Genesis was the last person to judge what another person liked, sexually or romantically.
“I don't know,” Sephiroth replied. What a marvel, something the great Sephiroth did not know.
“You can tell me if you want,” Genesis said, on the off chance this was something to do with nerves.
“I didn't mean I don't know why I didn't tell you,” Sephiroth replied. “I meant I don't know what I like.”
And why would he, Genesis realised with a start. How could he? Up until Angeal had begun to cook for them, he hadn't even been able to express a preference in food let alone anything else.
“When the option is available,” Genesis tried again, using the same method he used when trying to buy him clothes of giving him a this or that answer. “What do you prefer to go to?”
“I don't,” Sephiroth replied.
“You have no preference at all?” Not unheard of, Genesis supposed, but Sephiroth could be quite particular about certain things. It would surprise him if he had no opinion at all once made aware of the fact he could have an opinion and express it freely.
“I don't go anywhere,” Sephiroth replied.
“You do understand it's a metaphor for fucking, don't you?” It never hurt to ask.
“I do,” Sephiroth shook his head minutely. “But I don't.”
“You don't understand part of it?” A dawning realisation hit like a train. “Or you don't fuck?”
“I don't have a romantic partner,” Sephiroth replied. “You knew that.”
“That doesn't mean you don't fuck,” Genesis said, trying to wrap his mind around the idea. “Do you not want to?”
“It seems to require a level of trust with another person,” Sephiroth replied. “I do not, as you put it, 'person' well.”
“Well, no.” Genesis could admit that. “But you're disgustingly attractive. Surely people have asked.”
“Most of my body functions are maintained by either myself or medical staff,” Sephiroth replied. “I don't know many people I would feel comfortable being – intimate, as you put it, with.”
Genesis stared at him blankly. “Are you telling me you're a fucking virgin?”
“If I were fucking, I wouldn't be a virgin,” Sephiroth told him, the pedantic bastard.
Genesis let him have it. He was far too flabbergasted by the concept. True, he had never indicated he was indulging in sex with anyone but he assumed him to just be a little prudish about sex! It had never crossed his mind that he was simply abstaining from it and he could kick himself for not having realised it sooner.
It stayed on his mind as they parted to the different levels, as for the sake of the sanity of all concerned, Hojo and Hollanders domains were kept separate. It stayed on his mind through his check ups, which he swore either Hollander had become more incompetent or he was dragging his heels to delay him getting back. If he found out it was the latter, Genesis was going to set his coat on fire.
The First Class apartments were smaller than he'd like but given he was only here half the year, he put up with it. There was also the perk of being able to take two elevators up and end up in the hallway, punching in numbers instead of using his keycard because he didn't currently have it on him. It was a weight falling from his shoulders, still high and tight from being poked and prodded. Even if he knew that he'd have to go around and remove all of the surveillance he could find, Genesis was tempted to blow it off and sink into a bath. It was after eleven, Angeal would be another hour, perhaps two.
Ultimately, he decided he'd feel better if he could sink into said bath privately so he popped a meal left in his fridge with timings on it (thank you, Angeal) into the oven and spent half an hour going over the place until he was relatively satisfied with his own privacy. He ate quickly, then ran a bath with oils and slipped in. It couldn't be more different from the quick shower he'd had in medical if it tried. It felt almost like home.
Still, there was a game plan afoot and he wasn't about to waver from his goal. He got out of the bath, drying his hair so it still had some of it's fluffy frizz that usually tamed but he knew Angeal both liked and was going to make a mess of anyway. Then he sat and meticulously did his nails, a light touch of natural makeup and looked in his closet to find that there was nothing he wanted. Usually, when he felt like that, he let Angeal go in and pick what he wanted: he often bought things with Angeal's preference for feminine clothing in mind, even things he wasn't sure would work for him due to his frame but for someone who shopped the bargain racks, he had an eye for what worked for Genesis – at least, he had eye for what would make Genesis feel pretty and desired, which was the point. Angeal seemed to understand how he wanted to look better than he did sometimes.
However, he didn't know how long a lunch Angeal was going to take and choosing what he wanted was a often a good fifteen minutes minimum. He needed to update his wardrobe. If they were in Midgar for a while, he could head down to Wall Market and find either what he wanted or commission things discreetly. He had already been thinking about something to treat him with for the upcoming festive season: something with a little pizzazz and something to help fuel his own fantasies when they were inevitably parted again by the war.
Alas, none of these things were what he wanted today. Perhaps it was sentimental, but he wanted nothing between them, to feel his sweat prickled skin on his own, to both get his hands on him and have Angeal's on his body in return. So he just put down one of his throws, threw on a dressing gown and dove instead into his toys. Honestly, these could use a little updating too now he had a better idea of what worked for him but he found the desired item – one of his thicker, bejeweled plugs – and got to work opening himself up with slicked fingers, then the plug until it was sliding in and out easily.
It was a good thing Angeal made an appearance when he did because he had gone beyond prepping himself and much more fucking himself with it.
“Don't stop,” Angeal said, as his fingers stilled. He sat down on the bed with him, looking over him sharply.
“I won't be able to hold out if I don't,” Genesis admitted.
It had just been too long.
“I want you to come,” Angeal told him, his voice low as he took the edges of the plug from Genesis's fingers and started thrusting it inside him shallowly.
Genesis had to choke down a whine. “I don't want to come until you're inside me.”
“You're going to come for me now,” Angeal said, picking up the pace with his fingers. The tone left little room for arguments without safetying out, which he didn't really want to do because even knowing Angeal's fingers were pushing at his hole was enough to make it so much better. “You'll come again when I fuck you.”
Fuck, yes. Genesis reached his hand down to stroke himself, readjusting so Angeal could enjoy the view. He'd missed even this much, knowing he had his attention and making sure he was getting worked up over barely touching him. The sudden tightness pulled at him, coming harder than he had in months and he worked his cock through the aftershocks. He felt limp, the tension in his muscles draining out as he took small, deep breaths.
Angeal was staring at him, and yes there was the undercurrent of desire there, but something else too. He smiled at him, “You looked like you needed that,” he said, leaving the toy to one side and wiping his hand on the throw.
“I needed you,” Genesis told him, knowing full well he loved being needed. “Did you not say we were going to fuck now?”
“I want to take my time,” Angeal explained, undoing his pants and shimmying out of them and climbing onto the bed beside him. “I asked someone to take my classes so I could welcome you back properly.”
“Define properly,” Genesis sat up and grabbed some of the wipes from the side table, wiping himself down since it didn't look like round two was imminent.
Angeal put his hand though his hair and kissed him, the barest touch. “Can we just do this for a while?”
Genesis nodded slightly. Sometimes he did fail to account for Angeal's sex drive being different from his own, that he liked to reestablish emotional connections before physical ones and that he could be for lack of better term, sweet. It had been part of the reason he maintained the occasional sexual encounter outside of their relationship, as he enjoyed sex on it's own without an emotional component. It could just be something fun to do.
Now it was coming up on almost a year since Angeal had said he was ready to have sex at all, something they'd taken slow and steady because the last thing Genesis had wanted was for him to feel pressured to doing something he wasn't ready for yet. He hadn't really tested what it was to be without for so long, but he also didn't want to fuck around in the field where he'd have to deal with the person daily for a while.
It wasn't as if Genesis didn't enjoy a long, slow make out session either. There was definitely something to gentle, exploring touches and whispered I love you's that would make him climb the walls if it was what they did all the time because he needed the passion and fire and desperate need too. Feeling loved was wonderful, of course, but he also wanted to be desired, he wanted it to hurt just enough that it still felt good so they worked around it. Sometimes that meant soft spoken things they didn't really say outside of this closeness, as if being largely naked and entwined made it easier to say it and sometimes, it meant Angeal knowing he was too worked up for this and needed release first. Like the meal when he returned to the apartment, it was just another way Angeal liked to take care of him.
It meant that when they did fuck again, it wasn't really the getting slammed into the bed he'd been fantasizing about: Angeal drew it out, let them exchange kisses and smiles. It meant he could show off his own flexibility by wrapping his legs around Angeal's shoulders so he could still feel the burn of pleasure while Angeal got to feel – whatever it was that he needed from this closeness. At least, until he braced his hand on the headboard with the other on Genesis's hip and picked up both pace and pressure, keeping up the pace until Genesis's orgasm crept up on him and he came with a half-bitten sound, warmth going all through him in a way it really only did when they fucked this way.
“Okay?” Angeal asked, waiting on his nod before he began to thrust hard and fast as Genesis rode his own aftershocks. He groaned, low and guttural, his hips moving in that telltale jerky way as he began to slow down and eventually, relax his grip. “Sorry.”
“For what?” Genesis tried to ignore the pinch as he moved Angeal's cock from him, letting his legs down before they cramped too badly.
Then he saw the vague shape of a hand on his hip where Angeal must have lost control for a minute.
Genesis smiled at him lasciviously. “If only it was somewhere I could show it off.”
“Gen,” Angeal complained, putting his arm over his eyes.
“Your come is literally dribbling out of my ass,” Genesis told him. “I think you lost any hope of playing the blushing virgin with that.”
Angeal was already a little pink from the exertion, so it was hard to tell if he was blushing but Genesis would bet he was. “If anyone could figure out a way to show off their hip, you could.”
“I was just thinking I could use a wardrobe upgrade,” Genesis wiped his hair out of his eyes, tacky to the touch. “I have to keep you on your toes in terms of choice.”
“You look perfect no matter what you wear,” Angeal said, so sweet.
Genesis leaned up and kissed him, “Especially when I don't wear anything at all.”
Angeal excused himself to go and shower, because apparently inviting Sephiroth to dinner had not been an idle threat but Genesis minded the idea a little less than he had this morning. Perhaps there would be less tension now and he could curl up on the couch to watch Angeal fuss in his kitchen while he had a nice glass of the '79 (an excellent vintage for both himself and the wine) and read through his treasured copy of LOVELESS that never left the apartment.
“You're going to behave tonight, aren't you?” Angeal asked, attempting to look threatening with a strainer.
“I always behave,” Genesis replied.
“That's not reassuring,” Angeal said, as he dumped some sort of liquid through it. “I don't want him to feel left out.”
“I promise to a pillar of friendship,” Genesis said, tapping his book against his chest. “Though remind me to see if I can find him someone suitable to fuck, all that stress is going to cause a repetitive strain injury in his wrist without intervention. Did you know he was virgin?”
There was a clattering sound and Genesis looked up to see Angeal fetching the pot which he had apparently let go of. “What?”
“I know, I was shocked too.” He didn't fuck, he couldn't spar with most people, he didn't indulge in illicit substances – one of these days, that man was going to snap without some kind of relief. “I'm sure he's had his fair share of offers, but he is very awkward – perhaps opening his mouth is causing some problems. I think I still have an unopened gag in the back of the closet, perhaps he ought to try using it.”
“I'm going to gag you in a minute!” Angeal said. “Sephiroth not having sex isn't a problem for you to solve.”
“I'm being helpful,” Genesis replied.
“You're pushing,” Angeal told him.
“Sometimes, he needs to be pushed.” Genesis indicated Angeal. “If I hadn't decided two years ago that enough was enough, we were clearly meant for one another and given you a shove, we'd probably still be dancing around the subject. I want him to be happy.”
“Is that what it is?” Angeal asked. “Or is it because you're attracted to him and you want to push him towards someone else?”
“I already admitted I'm attracted,” Genesis said, placing the book down on the coffee table in favour of getting up to talk to Angeal. “So did you. So does half the city, if not the planet! What matters is what he feels and if this isn't something he wants, he's got no issue saying no to me.”
“You did tell him you wanted him to,” Angeal reminded him.
“I'm very proud of his continuing journey into defiance,” Genesis said. “But he deserves to be loved, doesn't he? And if not loved, he deserves a little stress relief. If he were wound any tighter, he'd bounce.”
“Just be careful not to let what you want get in the way of what he wants,” Angeal said, relenting in his own way. “Don't set him up. Let him figure things out in his own time and if he wants it then do it. I don't want him to feel like we're intruding.”
“He needs a good intruding,” Genesis told him. “Actually, he may be more of an intruder than an intrudee. Something to ask, I suppose.”
“I'm going to need a stronger drink for this dinner,” Angeal exclaimed, reaching for a much larger glass.
Contrary to Angeal's dramatics, dinner was pleasant. Obviously they were both more thankful for Angeal's cooking at the moment, having gone a while without it but Genesis had the good grace to wait until they were done eating to ask his questions.
“You've definitely been propositioned before,” Genesis said bluntly, hearing Angeal take a sharp breath. “I just assumed it was because you didn't find the person attractive.”
Sephiroth looked at him for a long moment, “For sex?”
“Yes, for sex!” Genesis said. “I'm just wracking my brain trying to think of any sort of inclination you've shown and I'm coming up empty. I can't even tell if you're straight and I'm usually excellent at this sort of thing.”
“Does it matter?” Sephiroth asked.
“A little,” Genesis admitted. “I thought you were just being discreet. I didn't realise you were going without.”
“I can handle it on my own,” Sephiroth replied.
“It does often feel a lot better if someone else handles it with you,” Genesis replied. “What about fantasizing?”
“I'm going to go and get that gag if you don't stop,” Angeal all but hissed at him.
“I'm not against an options demonstration, but it's a valid question.” Genesis smiled at Angeal sweetly. “You said yourself your imagination is lacking, but there has to be some component of fantasy to it – do you think about mouths, asses, cunt, what?”
“I'm not against knocking him out until he finds some manners,” Angeal muttered.
“I don't think of anything,” Sephiroth shrugged. “Arousal happens occasionally and if it doesn't go away, I simply think about the act and that's all.”
“The act being?” Genesis asked.
“I've shared a tent with you,” Sephiroth replied. “I know that you know what masturbation is.”
Genesis rolled his eyes, “Not even I am so narcissistic that I think about only my own hand when I do that.”
“You think about – Angeal,” Sephiroth replied.
“Oh, gods,” Angeal hid his face behind the glass.
“Usually, more 'oh, goddess, yes',” Sephiroth replied bluntly, startling a laugh out of Genesis at the attempted impression as Angeal began to go pink. “He's not subtle.”
“I wouldn't mind if you wanted to use Angeal for that,” Genesis said graciously. “Fantasy or otherwise, he's quite talented. If you like masculine, that is.”
“I don't want to be intimate with women,” Sephiroth replied.
Finally – progress!
“Because you prefer men, or those otherwise gender inclined?” Genesis asked.
“What other options are there?” Sephiroth asked.
That was opening something he hadn't really expected to go into tonight. “Gender can be – constructed, in body language, in how someone chooses to present themselves, in their physical body or simply because it's what makes them comfortable. As such, the possibilities are innumerable. Some people are fluid, it shifts for them from one to another and others are static. Some have no gender at all.”
“I see,” Sephiroth said, but his brow was getting scrunched up in that irritatingly adorable way it did when he wasn't quite grasping something.
“Do you still have the alliance pamphlets from last year?” Angeal said, still a little beetroot round the edges but clearly more interested now. “It's more simplistic but it might help.”
“I think so,” Genesis said, padding his way into the bedroom to look for LGBTQ+ alliance pamphlets he'd been sent to sign as part of a charity give away. Given he was the only openly out First, he'd taken the job and ended up putting it on his own charitable donation list with his parents. Just because Midgar was more metropolitan didn't mean it was always easier to be yourself here, as Angeal's discomfort with the public knowing his sexuality proved.
Locating one, he walked back into the living space and handed it to Sephiroth. “It's not comprehensive,” Genesis said, flopping back down on the couch and pulling his bare feet under him. “But it's a crack in the door. No, you can keep it, I still have a few.”
Sephiroth looked it over, then nodded. “Thank you,” he said.
Of all the things he'd expected to come out of trying to set Sephiroth up with a fuck buddy, not once had he considered his understanding of gender and sexuality would be very basic and likely based in biology only. Why he hadn't considered it was ridiculous on his part: he knew Sephiroth struggled with the very basics of identity, why had he never thought that the more complex parts of identity may need be taught as much as preference, disobedience and even how to pick out furniture he liked had been?
“You can ask questions too,” Angeal said, sounding like one of those awful public service announcements. “I don't claim to speak for bisexual men everywhere, but I'll explain if I can.”
Sephiroth nodded, “Bisexual is liking two sexes, I know this much.”
“It's liking one or more,” Angeal clarified patiently.
“You've also attracted to women,” Sephiroth said. “Both of you?”
“I'm attracted to the person, what they identify as is not relevant to my attraction to them,” Genesis replied.
“And that's different in some way?” Sephiroth asked. It looked almost as if he was forming a plan of attack, and perhaps in a way, he was as he was attacking his own lack of knowledge on the subject.
“I prefer pansexual,” Genesis explained. “It doesn't always mean something different to bisexual, but it's what feels comfortable for me. That's all it is, this mess of gender and sexuality – what makes you feel as comfortable as you can possibly be in your own skin, what feels like your authentic self.”
“It's very nuanced,” Sephiroth replied.
“It's just another way of finding you you are,” Genesis said. “But if you want to talk about it, or ask things, it's a journey I've been on a little longer than Angeal and I know it isn't always easy to find what makes you feel – like you.”
“I'll keep it in mind,” Sephiroth replied, and with that, Genesis let the issue go. If he wasn't sure of what it meant to be attracted to men, women and anyone outside of such binary thoughts, then it would be hard to pinpoint who and what he found attractive in simple language. And it would have to be simple language for now while he got his bearings on what options there were out there, both in terms of sex, gender and sexual exploration.
At least they'd be here for the rest of the festive season, so there would be plenty of time yet to find him a very special fuck buddy to put a ribbon on and put under the tree.