Chapter Text
“ Lan Zhan, are you not coming?”
They are going back to Cloud Recesses.
Or rather –
Lan Wangji is going back to Cloud Recesses, where he is to take on the role of Chief Cultivator; Wei Wuxian is only accompanying him.
They still have a couple of days of travel, but Lan Wangji’s feet are almost dragging. Every step he takes feels heavier than the previous one. The weight of the choice he took is crushing him.
Being Chief Cultivator gives him the means to turn the Cultivation world into a safe place, where Wei Wuxian can live free. That’s more important than his own happiness.
He knows that he made the right choice. At the same time, he has regrets.
Because Wei Wuxian is going to leave now; after everything he went through, Lan Wangji can't think he would be willing to be tied down to one single place – especially if that place is Cloud Recesses – and Lan Wangji will never keep him against his will.
Maybe they will meet again. After Lan Wangji has done his work. If Wei Wuxian has not forgotten about him. If he hasn’t found a better place.
A better person.
For how much he tries not to, that old instinct of wanting to hide Wei Wuxian away raises its head deep inside his heart. Lan Wangji kills the feeling quickly, like he did all of his life. It’s been so long since the last time Lan Wangji had this kind of thought, it almost feels foreign inside his head.
Thirteen years, in fact. He always believed that these thoughts were linked to his Omega instinct. Nurture. Protect. But, apparently not. Apparently, they are linked to Wei Wuxian’s presence, not Lan Wangji’s hormones.
Apparently, it is just who he is.
Lan Wangji shivers. There has been a sick feeling simmering inside his stomach since that morning, growing stronger as they get close to Cloud Recesses; it makes him both tired and restless at the same time. He wishes that doing the right thing wouldn’t make him feel like he needs to vomit.
It is barely evening when Lan Wangji proposes they stop and take a room in an inn.
He is aware that they could still have several hours of walking in front of them before it becomes too dark to travel. They both are. In fact, there have been so many nights in which they just stopped to sleep under the stars.
Today, neither of them seem keen to make it back to Cloud Recesses anytime soon, because Wei Wuxian accepts immediately and enthusiastically.
Lan Wangji breathes out in relief. His skin is humming and there is something that pushes him to seek the warmth and comfort that only an enclosed room can offer. As he feels both tired and restless, as he pushes away the familiar desire to crawl into Wei Wuxian’s lap and never move again, Lan Wangji yearns for softness and solace.
And blankets.
As the hum under his skin grows to a distracting buzz, Lan Wangji can identify a needling sensation in the back of his head, whispering a familiar need. Like some part of him should recognise all of this as something . But Lan Wangji is too distracted by the looming separation from Wei Wuxian, and he can’t quite remember.
Despite being just a regular evening, the inn they choose is hosting several customers. Lan Wangji’s eyes rapidly dart to all of them, counting in his head how many Alphas, Betas and Omegas are present.
In the same way, some of the customers – the Alphas – lift their heads when they enter, eyes briefly lingering on Lan Wangji, then moving to Wei Wuxian. Assessing.
Then, the moment is gone, and everyone gets back to their own business.
The waiter welcomes them in and Lan Wangji distractingly wonders if it’s him, being more prickly than usual, which makes him take a step back, or if the Alpha is actually crowding his space. Before he has the time to answer the waiter, Wei Wuxian has already put himself between the two of them, asking for a room and a table with a tight smile.
Normally, Lan Wangji would sit across from Wei Wuxian, but, before he can really think about it, he sits himself beside him instead.
His head feels dizzy as he observes Wei Wuxian order a jar of alcohol for himself and some food. At the mention of food, Lan Wangji’s stomach twists, the mere idea of eating making him nauseous and uncomfortable.
“Only water,” he orders from the waiter. Even the floral taste of tea right now just sounds like too much.
As soon as the waiter comes back, Wei Wuxian grabs the small jar. He pours a generous amount into his cup and downs it.
“Little Apple will need a couple of days of rest, of course,” he says, keeping up his idle chattering, filling up his cup like he is filling the tense silence between them. “You’ll have to bear with me for a little bit longer.” When he laughs, his voice sounds sad and awkward.
Lan Wangji’s thoughts work a little slower than usual and it takes him a moment to blink. And then frown. Why is Wei Wuxian talking like that? Like he is… a burden?
Lan Wangji wishes he could find the right words to comfort him. Make him understand that he is the opposite of a burden, that he is… is…
Concentrating has become so hard. Why is this room so hot? Why doesn’t Wei Wuxian look at all bothered by it? Yes, Gusu has always been a bit cooler than other places, and surely cooler than Yunmeng but this… feels too much. He is sweating. His whole body feels moist and sticky. His back feels damp, as do his legs.
Lan Wangji lifts his cup to his nose and takes a covert sniff, wondering if maybe he ended up ingesting some alcohol by mistake… but no. It's just water.
He sighs and closes his eyes, feeling an unpleasant pressure against both sides of his head. A part of him just wants to excuse himself and go rest in their room. He feels sweaty and wound up. He wants to take off his robes and bury himself under all the blankets he can find.
He wants to stay with Wei Wuxian for as long as he can, searing into his heart and mind every last moment he can spend in his company before they must part.
“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian calls him, with the tone of someone who isn’t calling him for the first time.
Lan Wangji lifts his eyes to him. Wei Wuxian is looking at him with a worried expression, one that should never appear on Wei Wuxian’s face.
“Lan Zhan, are you listening to me?” Wei Wuxian asks, his voice tinted with concern.
Although he knows that he should answer him, the only thing Lan Wangji can do is stare at his mouth and at the way it shapes around the words.
Seeing him failing to reply, Wei Wuxian leans into him and Lan Wangji gets assaulted by his scent. If he parts his lips, he can almost taste it on his tongue. Lan Wangji finds himself pressed against Wei Wuxian’s shoulder and he shudders at the contact. Even if it’s only through their clothes, Lan Wangji feels like his skin is on fire.
He takes a few deep breaths, trying to regain control over himself, but he only wants to lean further into Wei Wuxian. He smells so good. He always smells so good.
As he tries to remember why he shouldn’t try to climb into Wei Wuxian’s lap, a shiver runs through him. His head starts spinning and the room tilts around him. He ends up with his cheek pressed onto Wei Wuxian’s shoulder.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji whispers, turning his head just enough to look at him through his lowered lashes. He doesn’t want to leave this position. Wei Wuxian’s scent is stronger near the neck. Lan Wangji wants to stay like this forever.
Wei Wuxian lowers his gaze on Lan Wangji and their eyes meet. Wei Wuxian takes a shuddering breath and Lan Wangji watches him lick his own lips. He can’t stop himself from fixating on the wet trail that his tongue creates across his red lips. Lan Wangji wants those lips on himself. On his neck.
Emptiness pulses low in his abdomen and Lan Wangji only barely manages to suppress a whimper.
Wei Wuxian furrows his brows. “Lan Zhan, you are not well.” His voice sounds controlled, but tinged with the tiniest tone of alarm. Lan Wangji wants to tell him that he doesn’t need to worry about him. That he will be fine as long as Wei Wuxian keeps touching him.
As if he heard his thoughts, Wei Wuxian lays a hand on the side of Lan Wangji’s face. His hand is soft and cool and Lan Wangji wants to nuzzle at it.
“Are you running a fever? Your face feels hot. And your pupils look dilated.”
Wei Wuxian draws nearer, his brows furrowed together in concentration.
Immediately, unconsciously, Lan Wangji tilts his head back to allow him a better access to his neck.
Wei Wuxian takes a quick sniff at his scent glands. His eyes widen comically as he pushes Lan Wangji away from himself, scuttling backward and knocking down his own cup of alcohol in the process.
“Gongzi, can I help you with anything?”
Lan Wangji lifts his eyes and meets the strangely fixed stare of their waiter, who has moved closer to their table. The waiter is looking at him, nostrils flaring, breathing heavier than before.
As the waiter realises he has Lan Wangji’s eyes on himself, he takes another step forward, trying to move into Lan Wangji’s space.
His smell, that has become stronger and more pungent in the last few minutes, aggressively hits Lan Wangji’s nose. It smells so wrong that his body automatically recoils away, moving instead closer to Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian’s head snaps up towards the waiter. “We are fine,” he snarls, baring his teeth and Lan Wangji feels himself melt.
He shudders as he feels something wet drip down his legs, seeping through his clothes and onto the cushion underneath him. His head is starting to feel empty and light, but even as dizzy and confused as he is, that sensation – unfamiliar yet known – sends an alarm ringing through his brain.
The waiter’s eyes flicker from Lan Wangji to Wei Wuxian, holding Wei Wuxian’s gaze for a longer moment than Lan Wangji thought possible, before sliding away.
When he finally leaves, Wei Wuxian exhales in relief.
That relief seems to last only a brief moment. Wei Wuxian curses under his breath and starts looking around himself, checking, one by one, all the people present in the room. His eyes lingering on those that Lan Wangji earlier identified as Alphas.
Wei Wuxian growls. A full, deep sound that reverberates through Lan Wangji’s whole body.
Lan Wangji whimpers as he feels more wetness pooling between his legs, drenching him. He is so hot. He squirms uncomfortably as he feels himself squelch around and his damp robes stick to his burning skin.
At Lan Wangji’s whimper, Wei Wuxian’s attention snaps back to him.
Wei Wuxian circles his fingers around Lan Wangji’s wrist. Lan Wangji loves feeling his touch upon his skin.
“We need to leave. Now.” Wei Wuxian orders, and Lan Wangji gladly lets Wei Wuxian pull him up. Now that he is standing, he feels the warm slick running down his legs and over his ankles. He is drenched in it.
The buzzing feeling deep inside Lan Wangji’s stomach keeps growing and growing and now his insides have started to contract and tighten painfully. Lan Wangji wants to fold onto himself and hide his face against Wei Wuxian’s abdomen. Bathe in his scent. Wei Wuxian always smells so good.
Pulled between the need to let himself fall to his knees and the need to follow Wei Wuxian everywhere, Lan Wangji sways. His skin tingles where Wei Wuxian’s fingers are touching him. He wishes Wei Wuxian would touch him more.
“Lan Zhan, endure a little longer,” Wei Wuxian tells him. His voice is so tender Lan Wangji wants to cry. For years, he dreamed of Wei Wuxian using this same exact tone with him, so soft and caring.
“Yes,” Lan Wangji shivers. He will do everything that Wei Wuxian asks him. Only him. That’s all he ever wanted.
Wei Wuxian is rapidly moving towards the upper floor, pulling Lan Wangji with him, and Lan Wangji is all too happy to just follow.
As they reach the stairs, two of the Alphas that were chatting in a corner when they entered approach them, stepping between them and their destination.
“Let us help you,” one of them says, his breathing erratic and his pupils blown wide, but Lan Wangji doesn’t want their help.
A moment later, the Alphas’ scent hits Lan Wangji like a physical presence. They smell nice, but… Lan Wangji lifts his eyes and regards them with confusion.
No.
They are not right.
They are not his –
Lan Wangji presses himself against Wei Wuxian’s back, burying his face in the back of his neck. He inhales, trembling slightly.
Yes! His mind screams at him. This is the scent he has been longing for.
Wei Ying. His Alpha. His –
Mate.
Lan Wangji barely registers the moment when one of the Alphas takes a step in their direction. If it weren’t for Wei Wuxian’s sudden roar, his voice cracking the silence of the room like a whip, Lan Wangji would have missed the Alpha’s movement entirely.
“Back off!”
In response, the second Alpha’s growl is pathetic. “Hey! Who do you think you...”
Wei Wuxian doesn’t let go of Lan Wangji’s wrist – and Lan Wangji is so grateful for that – while with his other hand he pulls Chenqing out from his sash, and crosses it in front of his chest.
Both Alphas look down at the black flute and pale. One of them scuttles away immediately, while the other one seems like he can’t decide on what he should do. He sways on the spot, alternatively looking at Chenqing and at Lan Wangji, until he decides to take half a step forward.
Wei Wuxian, without moving a muscle, starts whistling.
An eerie tune travels across the inn. Immediately, the room feels empty and cold; Lan Wangji can feel the sudden cool air gust upon his burning and buzzing skin.
He frowns at the feeling. What if Wei Wuxian is feeling cold now? That is not allowed. Lan Wangji needs to keep him warm, always. Wei Wuxian should always feel good. Lan Wangji can take care of him.
He nuzzles against Wei Wuxian’s neck, angling his face in order to rub his cheek against his pulse. Pressing more firmly onto Wei Wuxian’s back and wondering if Wei Wuxian would let him rub his whole body against him if Lan Wangji says it is to keep him warm.
His mind catches mercilessly on the image of rubbing himself against Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji can’t stop himself from imagining Wei Wuxian turning around and pushing him against a wall. Trapping him with his body while Lan Wangji does his best to not come on the spot. Several flashes run rapidly through Lan Wangji’s mind.
Of bucking his hips up into Wei Wuxian’s.
Of breathing deeply, his head swimming as he bathes in Wei Wuxian’s scent and attention.
Of Wei Wuxian, burying his face into Lan Wangji’s neck. Licking. Scenting. Biting. Bonding.
Oh.
Lan Wangji freezes. He takes a trembling step backwards as realisation finally hits him.
Heat.
This is heat.
His body went into heat.
After thirteen years, in Wei Wuxian’s presence, his body decided to… oh, gods. In an inn full of Alphas.
Lan Wangji’s legs tremble and he sways, now that he doesn’t have Wei Wuxian holding him up anymore. He can’t stop a whine from leaving his throat when the full realisation of the loss of contact hits him.
Wei Wuxian spins around and circles his waist with one arm, stopping him from sliding to the floor.
Wei Wuxian turns them around and bares his teeth at the waiter, who is staring at them from the other side of the room. “I want our whole floor empty . Do you hear me? If any of you Alphas tries to come upstairs, I will kill you. I will kill every single one of you.”
Lan Wangji moans and lets himself sag against Wei Wuxian. Yes . Wei Wuxian will take care of him.
He will take him upstairs and will mate with him. Will fuck him and fuck him and fuck him and will knot him for days and days and Lan Wangji will not feel empty anymore.
The thought is enough to make him leak all over himself.
When it appears clear that no one seems intent on following them, Wei Wuxian pulls Lan Wangji flush against his side and starts walking upstairs.
By now, Lan Wangji’s mind is a little more than an endless chant of Wei Ying. Alpha. Mate. Yes.
Anticipation is so strong and the relief of finally being where he always wanted to be is so high that Lan Wangji can feel his muscles relax and his legs turn to jelly. Walking becomes harder and harder.
It is only his conscious mind that pushes him forward. Wei Wuxian wouldn’t take him in the middle of the corridor. And so Lan Wangji needs to follow him. Wei Wuxian is bringing him to their room and, once there, he will take care of Lan Wangji.
He will fill the emptiness inside of Lan Wangji. He will make him feel whole. Claimed. Mate.
He can’t stop a blissful smile from spreading over his face at the thought: he has been dreaming of this – precisely this – since he was a teenager. Since the first time he met Wei Wuxian.
As the act of putting one foot in front of the other lulls his mind into a state of almost trance, Lan Wangji thinks of the past.
At the time, Lan Wangji hadn’t presented for long enough to be able to recognise a pattern in his heat cycles, so he can’t… really know if there is any real connection to Wei Wuxian, but regardless. Since that day his heats had become irregular and absolutely wild. Shattering in their intensity.
He would go into heat twice in one month and then not once for half a year.
He always, always , spent them alone. For how much he wished he had someone with him, for how much he called for a certain Alpha with bright eyes and smiling lips in his frenzy, he was always alone.
It’s been so many years since his last heat, but if there is one thing that Lan Wangji can still remember clearly is the sense of despair and abandonment what would overtake him.
In his life, he heard so often other Omegas complain about their physical symptoms above anything else, but what Lan Wangji remembers the most is the loneliness and the hopelessness.
Thinking back at those times – times that feel so far away now – he realises that it is a miracle he never went into heat while Wei Wuxian was in his company. Afterwards, yes. Always afterwards. And for how long Lan Wangji cried, alone in his room, begging and calling for the Alpha that wasn’t even there to hear him.
There was one time. The time he was closest to going into heat in front of Wei Wuxian.
The two of them, trapped together in the Xuanwu’s cave. Even while taking the decision to remain behind, Lan Wangji knew he was playing with fire (and maybe, maybe – if he wants to be honest with himself – that was one of the reasons that pushed him to remain behind).
Spending so many days in Wei Wuxian’s company, the overexposure to his scent… of course his body started going into heat.
Those last few days, they felt like a nightmare. Torn between the desire to just allow his body to let go, to spend his heat together with the only Alpha he considered his , and the awareness of how much that would have been wrong and unfair to Wei Wuxian.
Luckily, Wei Wuxian’s fever was too high and he didn’t even realise what was happening to Lan Wangji.
In the end, they were saved by Jiang Wanyin and Jin Zixuan, and Lan Wangji ran away from Wei Wuxian and his shameful desires. He found the closest Omega Inn – one of those places that offered refuge to Omegas during their heats – and spent three days there in pure agony.
Of all his heats, that wasn’t the worst he ever lived through, but it’s the one he remembers more clearly. I t was one of the worst… while at the same times being the better one.
Because he smelled like Wei Wuxian.
His skin, his clothes, they all smelled so strongly of Wei Wuxian. He could barely wait to lock himself in his room to take off his robes – the need to get naked almost overwhelming – throw them onto the bed and build a nest with them. He then curled into it, deeply inhaling Wei Wuxian’s scent, fingering himself while he rubbed his leaking dick against the fabric.
His heats never normalised themselves. They remained irregular, coming at unexpected moments, until Wei Wuxian’s death. After that, they –
Stopped.
It was Wei Wuxian’s death itself that kicked his body into that last heat. When he was told about the siege at the Burial Mounds, beat and trembling, he travelled there. With his wounds, with his heat.
He found A-Yuan, malnourished and feverish.
Lan Wangji spent his last heat in Wei Wuxian’s cave, cradling A-Yuan’s little shivering body, while his own body, clammy and sticky, screamed in grief and the need for release.
Lan Wangji can’t tell what happened to him that day, to his body. Even the healers appeared unable to explain why his heats never came back afterwards.
His brother suggested that between his wounds, the grief, and having found a baby he needed to protect, his Omega body ended up shutting down. Lan Wangji doesn’t know if that’s actually what happened to him, what he does know is that he never had another heat ever since.
He thought he never would again. He spent thirteen years with this conviction. With this knowledge. He would have recognised the signs of his oncoming heat sooner otherwise.
“Lan Zhan, we’re here.”
Lan Wangji lifts his gaze from his feet and finds himself in front of their room. His heart thunders. His head roars. Now Wei Wuxian… Wei Wuxian, now he…
Wei Wuxian’s hand slides down Lan Wangji’s back and gently pushes him forward, inviting him to enter. “Come on, Lan Zhan. Be a good boy and get in.”
Lan Wangji shivers as Wei Wuxian’s voice washes over him, soothing his mind.
But that doesn’t stop his body from burning. He is so hot. He wants to take off his clothes and throw them on the floor. But he can’t.
He needs them to build their nest. They will smell like Wei Wuxian. That is good.
He will have Wei Wuxian with him, too, this time, that is better. But he still needs the clothes.
Lan Wangji leans deeper into Wei Wuxian, burying his face against his collarbone, and breathes. He can wait. Wei Wuxian will tell him when he can take his clothes off.
Except –
When Lan Wangji steps into the room and finally throws his arms around Wei Wuxian’s neck, rocking his hips into him, trying to chase his lips with his mouth for a kiss, Wei Wuxian grabs him by the wrists. He disentangles them and pushes Lan Wangji back, away from him.
“Stop it!” Wei Wuxian widens his eyes as his breathing immediately turns shallow. His cheeks look flustered. He is so pretty. “We can’t… Lan Zhan, you are too far into your heat! You– you don’t know what you are doing right now! You don’t want me.”
Lan Wangji whines. But he wants him. He wanted him his whole life! How can Wei Wuxian tell him that he doesn’t know what he is doing? He whines again, since words are too far from his grasp and everything is once again rapidly taken over only by that Alpha Wei Ying Mate that has been chanting in the back of his mind for a while now.
“Wei Ying,” he whimpers, stretching his arms, trying to get back into Wei Wuxian’s embrace.
Wei Wuxian doesn’t let go of his wrists and instead makes him walk backwards until Lan Wangji feels the back of his knees hit the bed. He meekly sits down on it.
Lan Wangji looks up at Wei Wuxian with pleading eyes. I have been good, he thinks. Don’t leave me, he wants to beg.
Wei Wuxian lets go of Lan Wangji’s wrists with a sigh. He bends forward, brushing his fingers against Lan Wangji’s chin in a tender caress.
“I will bring back some water,” Wei Wuxian whispers. He lingers with his hand on Lan Wangji’s skin for half a second longer, then he resolutely turns around and stalks out of the room.
Lan Wangji watches in horror as Wei Wuxian walks away from him. He looks at his receding back while his thoughts almost shut down in panic. No no no no no no no.
Lan Wangji cries out and throws himself out of the bed, gasping as he feels more slick running down his already wet thighs. His legs immediately go under him, his whole body is trembling so much, they are unable to keep him upright. He falls onto the floor and he has to crawl across the room to reach the door. Closed.
He starts scraping at it like a dog, willing it to just open, as he calls for Wei Wuxian; his hole dripping and twitching. “Wei Ying, please.”
He feels so wet between the legs, he knows it is his lubricant by now, making him release pheromones as his body prepares himself to be taken, mated, bred.
Knotted.
He shudders. Lan Wangji has never experienced a knot and yet he… wants. He wants Wei Wuxian’s knot.
Lan Wangji starts sobbing as he presses his cheek against the door. Wei Wuxian should be there with him. He is in the same inn, but not in the same room anymore. Why doesn’t he want Lan Wangji? Lan Wangji wants him so much. He will be a good boy for Wei Wuxian. He will make Wei Wuxian so happy.
His sobs turn into pitiful whines. “Wei Ying.” The tears are streaming down his cheeks as he breathes shallowly. He feels dizzy.
He hears the sound of steps approaching, then stopping in front of his door. As Wei Wuxian’s wonderfully smelling pheromones hit Lan Wangji’s nose, his head becomes hazier, lighter, as he gets drunk on Wei Wuxian’s scent.
Lan Wangji’s hole clenches around nothing and more liquid slides, viscous, down his thighs, creating a pool of wetness underneath him. Lan Wangji is completely drenched with it by now.
Outside, Wei Wuxian has stopped. He isn’t coming in, but he isn’t walking away either and Lan Wangji dares to hope.
“Wei Ying, please. I need you,” he begs.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian moans. Lan Wangji can hear the sound of his back sliding down the door. He hears his knees hit the floorboard and a low thump on the door. Is Wei Wuxian pressing his forehead against the wood?
Lan Wangji inhales and shudders. He presses his body more firmly against the door, wishing for the barrier between their bodies would just go away.
He whimpers. He is too hot. He feels empty. And alone. Worse than he ever felt. Worse than his heat after the Xuanwu’s cave, even worse than his last heat in the Burial Mounds.
Because this time Wei Wuxian is here with him, just outside this door… and still Lan Wangji is alone.
At that moment, he hears three thumps against the door. Is Wei Wuxian hitting his head against it?
“I should. I should leave,” Wei Wuxian whispers softly, but Lan Wangji can hear him anyway. “But I can’t. What if they come up here? What if… they can’t have you!” he growls and Lan Wangji’s insides twist in arousal. His hole twitches, releasing more slick and more hormones.
Wei Wuxian sighs. “You smell so good.”
Lan Wangji nods, keening, lips trembling. “Please,” he tries to beg again. “Wei Ying.” And then, “Mate.”
“Fuck,” Wei Wuxian whimpers.
A moment later the door opens and the full force of Wei Wuxian’s Alpha scent, even stronger than before, hits Lan Wangji’s senses. He wants to drink it, get drunk on it. He wants to bathe in it, walking around with his scent on his skin for the rest of his life.
Lan Wangji is glad he is already kneeling on the floor, because as he looks up, he starts trembling like a puppy, overwhelmed, not knowing what he is supposed to do first now that his Alpha is right in front of him.
He closes his eyes and whimpers, wiggling his butt and feeling it squelch with how drenched with slick he is. Oh…
He pauses.
This isn’t what he is looking for, but… he starts rocking his hips in earnest, rubbing his cleft against his own heels, without looking away from Wei Wuxian, with parted lips and imploring eyes.
“Oh, gods… what can I… you wouldn’t be asking me if you weren’t…” Wei Wuxian buries his face in his hands and sways on the spot, staring at Lan Wangji through his parted fingers. He never looks away from him either.
Wei Wuxian’s words make little sense to Lan Wangji’s ears. Because Lan Wangji loves him so much, he always wants him. He has desired him and only him after all. His whole life there has been only Wei Wuxian.
He spent his first heat with his own fingers buried deep inside of himself and Wei Wuxian’s name on his lips. He spent his last heat shivering in a cave with a sick child in his arms and Wei Wuxian in his heart.
The conscious part of Lan Wangji’s mind wishes he was able to tell Wei Wuxian, to let Wei Wuxian know. To ask him… what does it say of Lan Wangji that his heats stopped after Wei Wuxian’s death, just like an Omega widow experiencing a broken bond? They never even mated, the two of them, and yet his body had chosen Wei Wuxian as his Mate.
Lan Wangji wishes he had the words to explain it to Wei Wuxian right now. But he can only sob a needy, “I want you,” and even that is more than he thought he could do.
Wei Wuxian kneels on the floor in front of Lan Wangji, tenderly cupping his face between his hands.
“Lan Zhan. I’m going to help you, alright? I will take care of you and then… I will help to take the edge off, and then I’ll leave. Promise.”
Lan Wangji looks at Wei Wuxian, panting heavily through his parted lips. He knows that Wei Wuxian’s words should make sense to him, but right now his mind is too clouded by the need of having him close. He doesn’t understand what he is saying, but he knows that Wei Wuxian is seeking some kind of answer from him, so he nods, knowing that that will make him stay. He whimpers softly under his breath, too far gone to form a coherent sentence.
He hasn’t had a heat in such a long time… he is completely overwhelmed.
He whines without ever stopping the aimless rocking of his hips. His skin is on fire.
He sobs. He wants Wei Wuxian to tell him what to do, he needs him to tell him want to do. He wants to beg, but he doesn’t know how.
“Wei Ying,” he manages to whimper. “Alpha.”
“Yes, Lan Zhan? Tell me.”
Lan Wangji blinks slowly, lifting his hips and pressing his forehead against Wei Wuxian. “Mate. You. It can only be you. Please. Wei Ying,” he sobs.
Finally, Wei Wuxian picks him up and brings him to the bed.
Lan Wangji smiles and nuzzles against the side of Wei Wuxian’s neck, inhaling his scent. Yes! His hole clenches around nothing, wet and needy, twitching in anticipation of what is going to come later, but isn’t yet. Which makes the emptiness even more excruciating.
Immediately, Lan Wangji tries to get to Wei Wuxian’s cock, sliding a hand under Wei Wuxian’s robes, but a cool hand closes around his wrist, stopping him. Lan Wangji wants to scream.
“Lan Zhan, no.”
Lan Wangji’s lips tremble and he looks up at Wei Wuxian with pleading eyes. Did he do something wrong? He whines and retreats his hand as a wave of shame hits him. He disappointed his Alpha: now he is going to leave him.
He whimpers pitifully. He only wants to be good for Wei Wuxian.
Lost as he is in his need and desperation, from the back of his Omega mind an old instinct comes through, whispering to him to turn around and put himself on hands and knees. Presenting , the whisper says, but–
There are too many clothes.
Lan Wangji is too hazy and drunk on his own heat and on Wei Wuxian’s scent to be able to actually think of taking them off, so he whines in frustration.
He waits like that, but when he realises that Wei Wuxian isn’t pushing inside his wet and open hole, his arms go out under him. He presses his face and chest into the mattress and starts sobbing into the pillow, tears rolling down his cheeks and soaking the fabric.
“Oh, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whimpers. A second later, Lan Wangji feels Wei Wuxian's hands on his body as he takes off Lan Wangji’s clothes one by one. Lan Wangji lets Wei Wuxian manoeuvrer his body, moving him like he is a cloth doll. He loves being at his mercy, finds solace in it, and slowly his sobs turn into tiny hiccups.
When even the last layer of his robes has been removed, cool air brushes against Lan Wangji’s scorching skin. Now completely exposed, his hole quivers in anticipation. Relief is near now and the excitement that follows is so sweet he could cry from it. He scrambles to get back to his presenting position.
After allowing him to get back to his hands and knees, Wei Wuxian starts caressing his lower back with tender strokes that only end up heightening his arousal. Lan Wangji moans and arches his back, presenting his wet hole. He is trembling, waiting for Wei Wuxian to finally push into him and take him.
But Wei Wuxian brushes soft kisses against the small of his back instead. He lets his fingers slide down his cleft and circle his hole, coating them with the slick that keeps running freely down Lan Wangji’s thighs. He pushes three fingers inside Lan Wangji, who opens gladly at the intrusion. His hole twitches and clamps down around Wei Wuxian’s fingers, hungrily trying to suck them in. Lan Wangji can’t stop his moans as he starts rocking his hips, pushing against the pressure, pitifully asking for more and deeper and harder.
Wei Wuxian effortlessly adds a fourth finger and that almost makes it worse, as the new fullness reminds Lan Wangji’s body that he could take even more. That it needs more.
Wei Wuxian fucks Lan Wangji with his fingers until he is drenched down to his elbow, until Lan Wangji is a sobbing mess, this close to losing his mind, arching his back and bearing down. Begging, pleading. He needs more than just fingers. He needs his Alpha’s cock. He needs his knot.
“Wei Ying. Please, please, please. I need more. I need you. Wei Ying. Alpha. Please,” Lan Wangji keens between the mindless rocking of his hips. As Wei Wuxian doesn’t show any apparent reaction to his pleading, Lan Wangji pushes back against his fingers one last time, then stops as a frightening realisation comes to him. His body shivers as his body twitches madly, asking for more, but even as the fog of lust and hormones cloud his mind, he doesn’t dare to move again.
Did he do something wrong? He whimpers. It must be his fault if Wei Wuxian isn’t giving him his cock. Is this… punishment? A long, pitiful whine leaves Lan Wangji’s lips as he finds himself paralysed between anguish and lust.
“Lan Zhan, what is it?” Wei Wuxian asks and his voice sounds strained, but so kind at the same time, it only confuses Lan Wangji more.
Lan Wangji’s lips tremble. “I’m sorry!” he breaks off as new tears start rolling down his cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’ll be good, I promise. Good for Wei Ying. Just… p-p-please. I feel so empty. I need you. I need you.”
Wei Wuxian whimpers behind him and he lowers his forehead, pressing it against Lan Wangji’s back. He never takes his fingers out of Lan Wangji’s hole, continuing their gentle twisting and thrusting, and for that, Lan Wangji is grateful.
“You are good,” Wei Wuxian murmurs, brushing his lips against his skin with tiny kisses. “You are such a good Omega, Lan Zhan.”
Lan Wangji shudders at the praise, but he shakes his head. If he really is good, Wei Wuxian would mate with him. He whines.
“Yes, you are so good, Lan Zhan! You’re doing perfect! You are perfect! You just need to endure it a little longer. Can you do it for me?
Lan Wangji twists his neck back to look at Wei Wuxian through the tears that are clinging to his eyelashes. He tries to listen to what Wei Wuxian is telling him, but the meaning of his words slide off him. Words are so difficult right now. He doesn’t understand. He only wants to make his Alpha happy. So Lan Wangji blinks, letting the last tears run down his cheeks, and spreads his legs wide, inviting. He arches his ass into the air. Presenting. Offering. “Alpha,” he begs.
Wei Wuxian shudders and steps back, taking away his fingers. Leaving Lan Wangji empty and twitching. Nononononono. Lan Wangji keens. He feels like dying.
“Wait. I… need a moment,” Wei Wuxian murmurs, voice trembling, passing a hand over his face and breathing unevenly.
“No,” Lan Wangji wails, pushing his face into the pillow and shaking his ass, begging to be filled again. “I’m sorry. Please! Please, I will be good. I will be good for Wei Ying. Alpha. Alpha. Mate. Don’t leave me. P-please.”
“Fuck!” Wei Wuxian cries out and circles Lan Wangji’s waist, pulling him up and flushing him against his own chest. He closes his fingers around Lan Wangji’s neck, who in turns shudders and relaxes under the domineering touch. Wei Wuxian makes him tilt his head back and kisses him deeply, devouring his mouth. Lan Wangji moans and melts into the embrace.
“I want you so much,” Wei Wuxian sobs into the kiss. “So fucking much.”
“Yes,” Lan Wangji murmurs into his mouth, his words slow and muffled, drunk and lost as he is in the sensation. “Mate. My Mate,” he sighs, nuzzling against Wei Wuxian’s face. “Only Mine. Breed? Knot?”
Lan Wangji pushes his hips back, against Wei Wuxian’s hard cock, trying to fuck himself in any possible way, even through the barrier of Wei Wuxian’s robes.
Wei Wuxian sits cross-legged on the mattress, pulling Lan Wangji down with him and into his lap.
Lan Wangji pants and arches his spine, head turned as his lips search for Wei Wuxian’s again.