Archive of Our Own

"Would you calm the fuck down already" Brian yelled at his best friend as he continued to squirm in the seat beside him.

"I can't help it" Michael exclaimed giddily as he tried to control his actions for fear of another outburst from Brian. "I am just so excited to see our old high school and our old friends again"

"Christ Mikey…it isn't like the high school isn't less then five blocks from where you live and as for our old friends…who the fuck cares anymore. It isn't like we have kept in touch with any of them since we blew out of that place the day of graduation" he growled… focusing on the road located ahead of him as he drove. "I don't even know why we are going in the first place when we could have gone to Woody's and Babylon instead"

"We are going because you owe me for missing the last reunion" Michael gently reminded his friend. "You had to go and get yourself and Justin arrested for drunken and lewd behavior and I was the one that had to bail you out…remember?"

"Actually I don't remember much of that night" Brian laughed for the first time since picking Michael up at his apartment.

"I bet you don't" Michael laughed back…punching his friend in the arm. "You must have had one hell of a night to get that wasted that you still don't remember anything five years later"

"It wasn't for the reasons you think" Brian mumbled under his breath as he pulled into the high school parking lot.

"What was that?" Michael questioned…not really waiting for an answer as he practically bolted out the passenger's side door. He didn't know why he was so excited about going back to his old high school… but something told him deep within his soul that tonight was going to be spectacular. The feelings had been haunting him ever since he had received the invitation a little over a month before hand. From the first moment that he read the contents he knew that after that nightlife was never going to be the same again. Brian on the other hand became sullen and obtuse…practically refusing to even consider the possibility of going. He would never tell Michael his reasoning… only get pissy before storming off to find a trick or just leaving him alone. However…Michael was determined to go and no matter what he had to do…Brian was going to be by his side.

"OMG…it's like a blast into the past" Michael exclaimed as he stepped into the fully decorated gym loaded with mementos from the past.

"Name…" he heard a woman sitting at table besides him speak.

"Um…Michael Novotny and this is Brian…" turning around he came face to face with an empty space and no Brian to be found. "Excuse me for a moment" he blushed at the women still staring at him boredly. "Brian…" he called out as he made his way back out into the cooling night air. "Brian…where the fuck are you?" his breath was low…but deadly as he continued to search for his elusive best friend. "What the fuck are you doing?" he said in clearly irritated tones as he walked over to stand beside the man smoking a cigarette behind a tree. "I thought you were behind me as I talked up a storm and now Stacy Washington thinks that I am an even bigger nerd then she did in high school"

"Who gives a fuck what Stacy Washington thinks about you. She's a lazy assed housewife whose husband fixes toilets for a living" Brian bit out…taking another drag from his cigarette in an attempt to calm his fully frazzled nerves. "She was a snotty bitch in high school who treated you like shit just because she was the prom queen and in with the popular kids. Come on Mikey…lets just get the fuck out of here. Hell…lets go anywhere else but here and have some fun of our own" he teased…grabbing Michael by the front of his suit jacket… pulling him tauntly against his body. "I promise you I will make it worth your wild" With slow and deliberate measures he leaned down and covered the frowning lips of his best friend with a simple kiss. However…the kiss quickly turned into more as Brian poked his tongue across Michael's lips before shoving it into his mouth. Back and forth their tongues dueled with heated intensity that soon had them wanting…needing more from each other then they had ever needed before. "Do you remember this tree Mikey" Brian asked once they broke their shared lip lock.

"Um…I think that Tommy Higgins fell out of it and broke his arm sophomore year" Michael replied winded…wondering where the hell Brian was going with his line of questioning and why his eyes seemed to carry a far away look about then.

"Is that all you remember about this tree…this very spot" he barked out clearly irritated at Michael's response. "You can honestly not remember anything else about this tree"

"What…did you fuck a trick here? Or let me guess you got your dick sucked by one of your many admirers on this very spot" he responded playfully…punching Brian in the arm in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"No Mikey…" he replied sullenly. "Our first kiss…remember? It was here under this very tree that we shared our first kiss nearly fifteen years ago"

"I remember…" Michael replied wistfully. "You were supposed to meet me here after school…but you didn't show up for nearly an hour. You gave me some really lame excuse and I couldn't figure out what was dumber…me waiting like an idiot for you or that flimsy excuse" he laughed…clutching onto Brian's shoulder in order to remain standing from his laughter. "Man I was so pathetic back then when it came it you"

"Yeah…" Brian said under his breath as he pulled Michael tighter into his arms. "You were so mad at me. You cussed me a blue streak and then tried to leave…but I stopped you"

"You almost ripped my arm out of the socket"

"I grabbed onto your arm and pulled you against my body like this" he continued…wrapping his arms even tighter around the man who had been such a huge part of his life for so long. "I didn't plan on kissing you…only stopping you from leaving mad…but you were pouting like a little brat and you looked so cute. I couldn't help myself. Man…I still remember the way that you smelled" he went on allowing himself to fall back fifteen years earlier when the lines of friendship changed between him and Michael on that very day. "You smelt like strawberry candy and tasted just as sweet"

"I had eaten two boxes of strawberry nerds before you showed up" Michael blushed…remembering his childhood addiction other then Brian.

"You tried to pull away from me…but I wouldn't allow it. You tasted so good Mikey…your lips were so soft" Slowly he leaned his head downward until it was resting on the heated softness of his best friends forehead. "I was addicted from my first taste. I wanted to kiss you forever under that tree…but then…"

"Jesus Christ…will some things never change" they heard an unknown voice cry out behind them…causing both of them to jerk apart frightfully.

"Dex…Dexter…Omg..." Michael yelled out once he realized who it was that was taunting them. Moving away from Brian he rushed over the short distance needed to bridge the gap between his old friend. "Holy shit…look at you" he laughed as he pulled him into a quick hug. "Man…being married to a plastic surgeon has its benefits" his laughter continued…ducking as he avoided the playful fist coming his way.

"Well what can I say as long as we are together I will always look young and beautiful" Dex laughed as he wrapped his arm around Michael's shoulder.

"Hey Dex…you remember Brian don't you" Michael questioned giddily forgetting about the moment that the two of them were sharing before he showed up.

"Brian…yeah I remember Brian" he nodded nonchalantly in the direction of Brian. "Good to see you again Brian"

"Whatever…" was his response as he pushed passed to two whispering amongst them selves as they made their way towards the gym. Brian searched for the bar the minute he entered the overly decorated place of his past. He couldn't believe that he had actually allowed Michael to talk him into revisiting his former high school years. Years that meant nothing but heartache and pain to him…except for his Mikey. Michael has been his only saving grace all through their high school years…and beyond if he wanted to be truthful about it. It was Michael who had allowed him to keep his sanity when life at home got to unbearable to deal with. It was Michael who for the most part kept him on the straight and narrow when it came to school work as be reminded him over and over again just how important grades were if he intended to prove to his family and the world that he was not a fuck up. "Jack and coke" he spoke to the bartender…avoiding the look of lust that was being thrown his way. Taking the drink he downed it in one shot before handing the glass back to the bartender.

"You graduate from this class" the man spoke deeply…running his finger along the length of Brian's hand as he handed him the refilled drink.

"Fuck off…" he spat as he grabbed the drink and made his way as far away from his ogling eyes as possible. He wanted to hide…wanted to find a quiet corner and drink himself stupid until Michael got tired of the nostalgia and took him home. He didn't want to reacquaint himself with his old classmates. He could have cared less to chat with old teachers who no doubt would claim their shock that he had done as well as he had in life. He didn't want to relive the past… didn't want to recall the most famous fuck up of his life. Scanning the room he searched desperately for this place to hide…his breath hitching in his throat at what he saw from across the room. With determined steps he broke through the crowds of people…most whom were trying to chat with their former schoolmate…but he just ignored them intent on one destination only.

He could feel his mouth go dry and he stood before the over sized picture taken of him and Mikey during an unnoticed moment in time. The picture was of the two of them walking down the hall way in what he remembered to be their senior year. Brian had his arm around his best friends shoulder…their heads pressed together with smiles of mischief spread across both of their faces. He couldn't help the smile that reached across his face as he recalled the exact moment that this picture was taken. It was the day before spring break of their senior year and that picture was a testament to the plans the two of them had made for themselves. Brian remembered the bubbles of excitement as they made their way towards their planned escape to freedom. He remembered his nervousness for what he had planned for his best friend…something that was going to change the basis of their relationship towards what he hoped was for the better. His smile quickly disappeared as he recalled that nothing he had planned happened all due to his father and his drunken ways. Instead of the two weeks of fun and possibility spent with Michael. It was instead spent in the home of his much hated Aunt and Uncle in a nearby town as his father laying near death in an alcohol related auto accident.

"Can you believe how we looked back then" Michael laughed…walking up beside his friend who was staring at a photo of the two of them together. "Man…put anymore wings in those haircuts and we both could have flown away"

"I loved you hair like that" Brian spoke softly…placing his hand upon the back of Michael's head…running his fingers through its softness. "You were so hot back then Michael" turning towards Michael as he continued to explore the contours of his head with his fingers. "But not as hot as you are now"

"Yeah right…" was his laughter filled reply. "I looked like a complete dork. Back then only the nerdy girls were after me and Dexter" his laughter continued as he attempted to put his arm around the waist of Brain.

"I need another drink" Brain grumbled as he left a stunned and speechless Michael in his wake. He needed more then just a drink he thought to himself as he strode over to the bar…barking out his drink order before the man who had been eyeing him earlier had a chance to speak. His mind was a mess…his brain cluttered and confused as he tried to focus on the now and not the what could have beens of the past. Turning to face the bartender…he came to an abrupt decision as he walked behind the bar…grabbing the man by the loops of his pants as he jerked him to a secluded area. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you won't be able to sit for a month" he growled against his newest tricks ear as he slammed him against the wall of the locker room.

"Shut up and fuck me already" the man moaned lustfully as he leaned down and tried to capture Brian's mouth hungrily.

"No fucking kissing" Brain yelled at the trick as he quickly undid the zipper of his dress pants…letting them fall to the ground below him. "Now start sucking…" As instructed he fell to his knee's taking Brian's member deep into the confines of his mouth. Brian's mind was everywhere but where it should have been as the trick tried to stimulate Brian with his skillful mouth…quickly realizing that all efforts were proving to be useless.

"It's kinda hard to fuck me if you can't fucking get it up" he snapped at Brain…recoiling in fear at the look of pure evil that radiated from his eyes once he did.

"Forget this shit" Brain spat out as he retrieved his discarded clothing from off of the floor before bolting out the side door. "What the fuck is wrong with me" he questioned himself fully confused at not being able to perform the one skill he had been known for since he was a teenager. "I knew that coming back here was going to be a mistake" his continued to rant to himself…laughing out loud once he realized where it was that his wayward feet had taken him. Sitting under the protectiveness of the tree he jerked a cigarette from out of the pack in his pocket…lighting it quickly in desperate need for nicotine. "Jesus…" he cried out in frustration as he leaned back against the base of the tree…closing his eyes as he tried to gain control of his fucked up emotions.

"God that was such a familiar site all through high school" Michael heard Dexter say from where he stood beside him as he continued to gape at the picture before him. "The two of you were inseparable. Where you saw one…you were always sure to see the other not to far behind" he chuckled…placing his hands in his pockets as he pulled his eyes from the picture and onto his high school crush. "I was always so jealous of the relationship that the two of you shared…even when we were dating" he continued to speak…his mind wandering back to a time when he and Michael were more then just good friends.

"You never had anything to be jealous over" Michael assured as he turned to face his former lover and friend. "Brain and I were best friends…but you were my lover and I was always faithful"

"I know that" he sighed as he grabbed onto Michael's sleeve…urging him to follow. "I didn't mean to make it sound like I was accusing you. I knew from the first moment that you and I got together that Brain was always going to be a constant in our relationship. The closeness that you two shared was legendary among the students. Long before either one of you even came out of the closet there were rumors about the two of you. I knew you two were close…but I was so hung up on you that I didn't care. I couldn't understand how it was that as close as the two of you were that not once did Brian every do anything about it. He said cryptically…ignoring the questioning look he had received from Michael. "However…his stupidity was my gain and when the opportunity presented itself I pounced" he laughed…recalling the spring break where everything changed for him thanks to Brian's dysfunctional family"

"Are you sorry that it ended the way that it did" Michael asked… sitting upon one of the many wooden desks located in one of the old classrooms Dexter had led them too.

"No…I was crazy about you Michael…but the timing for us was never right. Brian came back from visiting his family and he needed you and even though you denied it….you needed him just as badly. I was just glad that we were able to remain friends after our extremely short affair ended" he winked trying to lighten the mood as he sat on one of the desks besides Michael. "Besides I met Johnny the summer after graduation and my life has never been happier. So Michael tell me…how long have you and Brian been together?"

After what felt like forever…Brian had had enough. He had had enough of the memories…had had enough of the numerous lies that he had held within his heart for the last fifteen years. He wanted nothing more to do with the knowledge that because of stupid pride and fear he had lost the part of Michael that he longed for the most. His ass was wet and cold from the damp grass and his head was beginning to hurt… that he could deal with. What he could not deal with was the suffocating regrets of the past and even the ones from the up coming future. Anger and frustration began to consume him. Anger because he had made it blatantly clear to Michael that he had wanted nothing more to do with this romp down memory lane and yet despite that Michael had still insisted that he go. With each step towards the high school his anger grew. He intended to inform Michael in high and loud decibels just how pissed off he was at him…but all anger subsided in an instant as the sounds of familiar voices echoed around him in a nearby class room.

"So Michael tell me…how long have you and Brian been together?" he heard the voice of his high school enemy question his best friend. His heart stopped beating within his chest…his breath caught in his throat as he awaited Michael's response.

"Brian and I are not together" he spoke in what appeared to be a sad voice. "Were just best friends…always have been…always will" Brian didn't think that it was possible for his heart to break…even in its none beating phases…but he was wrong as he leaned against the wall… sliding to the floor as the two old friends continued to speak.

"Jesus…are you kidding me" Dexter said stunned that even after more then fifteen years the two men were not together. "Well you must have gotten together some where along the last fifteen years…right?" he asked…already knowing what his response would be by the look of upset across Michael's still handsome face. "Man…being with Brian was always your dream. It's all you ever wanted for as long as I've known you"

"Well some dreams don't come true" Michael responded sadly…pulling his knees into his chest as he laid his chin upon them. "I kept hoping that one day the two of us would become more then just best friends…but as the years passed it got easier and easier to let go and move on"

"Have you been in love with anyone else Michael" Dexter asked saddened at the possible notion that Michael had indeed given up any chance for love and happiness because of a selfish prick that didn't deserve Michel's friendship or love. "Please tell me that you didn't put your life on hold for the chance to fall in love with someone who could really love you because of Brian Kinney"

"I found love" he responded with a small smile. "I fell in love with a wonderful man named Ben. We were together for nearly three years before he passed away"

"Oh Michael…I am so sorry" Dexter replied startled. "How did it happen if you don't mind my asking?"

"Cancer…" Michael lied…not really wanting to explain that Ben had in deed died from complications associated with his HIV status.

"I really am sorry to hear that. It sounds like you really loved him"

"I did" Michael's smile increased as he remembered his lost love. "He was a beautiful man…inside as well as out and I loved him so much. He was a professor at Carnegie-Mellon. He taught gay studies" he continued to speak. "I think that I was in love with him from the first moment that I met him. I never expected to find anyone like Ben…and although he is gone I am grateful that I at least had those few years with him before I lost him. It's been almost a year now" he sniffled softly. "I don't think that I would have gotten through it if it hadn't been for Brian. He was there for me ever step of the way…just like he always has. We may not be together in a relationship…but I still love him as much as I did when we were teenagers"

"Well if you ask me Brian is still the same arrogant prick that he was in high school and doesn't deserve that love" Dexter snapped angrily. "He's used you…lied to you…hurt you and yet till this day you still hold him up on a pedestal. I don't get it Michael. I know all about the great god Kinney of Liberty Avenue. I know that despite all that he has done to you…that you still love him. I can see it in your face when you speak of him…can see it in eyes as they get that far away look you used to always get whenever his name was mentioned. He loved you so much in high school and despite the fact that he knew you loved him in return…he never once did anything about it"

"What are you talking about. I know that Brian loves me…he always has. It's the love of a friendship…the love of…"

"No…" Dexter shouted…cutting Michael off in mid sentence. "Brian was in love with you all through high school. It was common knowledge to everyone that knew the two of you. He was in love with you and yet because he thought he was too cool for love…he never gave you the only thing you ever really wanted from him"

"You're crazy" Michael rushed out…jumping off of the desk as he began to pace the length of the classroom. "Brian and I are just friends. He never loved me…not like that. He would never do that to me…to us. I…I have to go and find him. He was right…coming back here was a huge mistake. Take care of yourself Dexter"

"Did you ever wonder why you had such a hard time finding someone to be with Michael?" Dexter yelled behind him. "You were so sweet and popular and just about everyone loved you. You never judged anyone for who they were. You always accepted them…tried to make them your friends…despite the cliques that they were in. You never realized just how much you were liked in this school…just how many people had huge crushes on you…because Brian wouldn't let you" he went on…hoping to break through to the thoroughly silent man in front of him.

"Freshman year…Stacy Washington was desperate to go out with you… before she became the prom queen. She knew that you and I were friends and she hounded me mercilessly to get any sort of information on you. Brian told her that you hated her and would never date anyone with red hair and freckles. After that she hated you…all because of Brian. Sophomore year…Tommy Pachelli. He was head over heels in love with you. He wasn't even out of the closet yet and still he was willing to risk coming out for you. Brian took him into the locker room…fucked him and then used it as black mail in order for him to stay away from you. Junior years…French exchange student Andre' Belanger. Andre' was smart and sexy and thought you were just the cats meow. He was openly gay and wanted nothing more then to be the one to make you love the French. Brian again had other ideas. He tried to seduce him and when that didn't work he pulled out the big guns. He paid the school bullies Frank Monroe and Jeffrey Saunders to beat him up. He had them warn him to stay away from you or he would get worse the next time. Senior Year…Dexter Jackson. I was lucky enough to get under Brian's radar…but only because he had been sent away. I thought that once I was in that he would back off and leave us be. However…that was not the case. The minute he found out that you and I were seeing each other he showed up at my door. He tried to play it off like it was no big deal…that he was glad that you and I were together…but then he started his rumors and lies and then before I knew it we were through. He had you convinced that I cheated on you and despite the fact that you claimed to believe it…I could still be the doubt in your eyes every time that I looked at you"

"Stop it…stop it" Michael cried out as he whipped around to face the man saying things that made absolutely no sense at all. "You are making all this up to get back at Brian for all the horrible things he did to you in high school"

"Michael…you have to believe me when I tell you that everything that I have said is the gods honest truth"

"How then…how did you know about all of this?" he asked…still refusing to believe that Brain could have been so underhanded during their teen years.

"Remember how nasty Stacy used to treat you after she fell in with the popular crowd? Well we had detention together one afternoon. She had gotten busted for smoking under the bleachers and I had gotten in trouble for starting a food fight in the cafeteria. One that Brian started I might add…but somehow he convinced the principle that it was me. Anyways…so I asked her. I asked when it was that she grew to hate you so much when she used to have such a huge crush on you. She told me everything that Brian said and despite the fact that I was shocked that he would be so low…it was just the beginning. When he fucked Tommy…he had someone hide in the locker room and take pictures of them. I saw the pictures Michael. Right before he was killed in that car accident Brian gave them to him. Tommy and I were dating at the time and I found them be accident. He told me every gory detail when I confronted him that night and needless to say we broke up shortly there afterwards. I over heard Frank and Jeffery gloating one day behind the school about how Brian had paid them fifty dollars to beat Andre' up. You didn't have to be a brain surgeon to know for what reason"

"It can't be true" Michael whispered in stunned upset as he fell into a nearby desk. "He wouldn't do that to me…to them…to us" his murmuring continued as he stared at the man who had literally devastated the foundation of his and Brian's relationship. "Would he?"

Pulling himself off of the cold hard linoleum…Brian made a bee line for the crowded gym in hopes of escape before either on of them found out he had been listening. He couldn't believe that the secrets he had held so close to his heart were actually out. Despite the fact that he had to control the urge to beat Dexter into the ground…his words had rang true. Brian had been in love with Michael…had been head over heels in love with the boy that was his best friend. For four years of his life he wanted nothing more then to tell Michael the depths of his feelings for him…but fear and pride would never allow him to do it. He never truly felt that he was good enough for the sweet…loving and all too trusting Michael and so he continued to keep him at bay…using what every means possible to ensure that his Mikey never found anyone to take his place. He may have not been able to commit to the man that consumed his entire existence…but by golly no one else would be able to either.

However in a moment of weakness he had decided to let his guard down in an attempt to take a chance on love…but then fate intervened in the form of a trip to Maryland in thanks to his drunken father. During those two weeks of spring break Brain had done a lot of thinking…quickly coming to the conclusion that he was ready to tell Michael his true feelings towards him. But…all thoughts of loving expressions came to a halt once he returned from his impromptu trip. It was on his first day back as he raced over to Michael's house intent on sharing his new revelations with his potential boyfriend… then his hopes of new love came to a crushing end. He had opted to ignore the ringing of the door bell as he raced into the house he practically lived in…up the stairs leading to his bed room…throwing open the door…stopping dead in his tracks at the sight be saw before him. There on Michael's bed…lay the man he had been secretly in love with as he got fucked by none other then his worst enemy…Dexter. It was then and there that he vowed he would never try love again. His heart had shattered into a million on that day as he ran away unseen by the two lovers.

He watched from the crowded sidelines as Michael raced across the dance floor…Dexter in tow. Fear quickly encompassed him as Michael pushed through people of his youth…a fear so deep that he knew if he let him walk out of that gym that things were never going to be the same again. "Michael…" he called out towards the retreating figure… catching up to him with long stride as he grabbed onto his swinging arm…pulling him tauntly against him. "Let's dance" he whispered against his ear…pretending that he didn't over hear each and every word that he and Dexter had spoken just mere moments before hand. He was good at pretending since he had had nearly twenty years of practice at it.

"I don't want to dance" Michael replied in near defeat as he tried to pull away from the touch of the man that he thought he knew inside and out and yet seemed he knew not at all.

"Come on Mikey…it seems like I haven't seen you all night" he whined… pulling his struggling form even tighter within his embrace.

"I said no dammit" Michael raised his voice even louder…still trying to control the confusing range of emotions that were brewing just under the surface. "I can't talk to you right now" With determined measures he wretched himself away from the heat of the body he thought he would crave for eternity.

"Leave him the fuck alone" they heard the angered voice of Dexter cry out behind them as he grabbed onto Michael's hand…pulling him as far away from the man he hated with an all fired passion. "Don't you think that you have done enough damage to him over the years" he fired directly…smiling smugly at the look of guilted terror placated across Brian's face. "Come on Michael lets get the hell out of here. I will take you home"

"Your not going anywhere with him" Brian retorted evilly…grabbing onto Michael's other free hand…pulling him forward. "Michael… please. I need to talk to you. I can explain everything to you…if you'll just come home with me"

"Explain what?" Michael screamed…pulling his hands free from both of the men trying to control him. "What exactly do you have to explain?" he questioned once again. "The fact that our friendship… our whole relationship has been nothing but one huge fucking lie"

"Mikey…what the fuck is your problem?" Brain roared…crossing his arms tightly across his chest. "I told you that coming here was a mistake. Were going and were going now" Lunging forward he tried once again to grab onto Michael's hand…only to fall flat on his ass as the hand he was trying to grab smashed brutally across his face. He couldn't move…couldn't speak as he looked up at the purely angered face of his great love.

"The mistake was believing anything that you have ever told me" he screamed madly…clenching his fists into tiny balls of hate as he attempted to lunge for his former friend once again…only to stop short as a pair of arms encircled his waist. "So is it true Brian?" his screams continued as he fought like hell to release the hold that Dexter still had on him. "Did you love me back then? Did you love me so much that you had to lie and hurt people who tried to get to close to me…just because you were to much of a coward to follow through with it"

"Mikey…Dexter doesn't know what he is talking about" Brian lied… trying to defend himself in Michael's eyes. "I love you Mikey…always have…always will…remember" he spoke the last word wistfully as he continued to gaze into eyes so full of hate that it chilled him to the very bone.

"I remember" Michael spat hatefully. "I remember Stacy Washington being my friend one day and then hating me the next and up until now I thought it was for no reason at all. I remember Tommy asking me out of a date and then not less then a day later telling me that he changed his mind. I was stumped as to what I had did to him to not want to date me…but when he told me that he didn't want to be my friend anymore I was completely dumb founded. I remember what it was like to have Andre the exchange student flirt with me. I remember when he told me that he was crazy about me and gave me my first kiss. I remember the way it felt to know that someone loved me as much as he said he did and then he ended up in the hospital. I remember the look of pure terror on his face when I walked into his hospital room…but what I remember most is the loudness of his screams when he told me to leave him alone for good. I remember how happy I was with Dexter while you were gone that spring break…but it didn't last long did it?. You came back home and started telling me all these lies about him. You convinced me that he had been cheating on me…and I believed you. I never once doubted your word because you were Brian…my best friend in the whole world. You told me you loved me for the first time that night and I although my heart was broken… it soared at the same time. I was in love with you Brian…and you knew that. You knew it and you used it against me…used it to keep anyone that might get to close at bay. God Brian…you could have told me that the sky was purple and I would have believed you because we took care of each other…never lied to each other. I took our friendship to heart…took the love that I held for you…have always held for you to heart. Never once did I think that you could possibly have loved me in return…and yet I held out hope"

"Mikey…please don't do this…not here" Brian pleaded as he pulled himself from off of the floor. "Lets go somewhere and talk"

"I can't talk to you right now. Hell…I don't want to talk to you ever again. I hate you Brian…hate you so much right now that I don't think that I will ever be able to forgive you. But tell me one thing Brian" Michael asked his anger subsiding…quickly being replaced my heart crushing despair and curiosity. "Do you love me now?" he asked simply…his broken heart beating wildly within his chest. Anger once again began to consume him as Brian continued to stand before him… gaping at him with his mouth opening and closing…but no words were coming out. "I said do you still love me now?" he screamed madly… finally breaking the lock Dexter had around his waist as he strode up to where Brain stood. "Fucking answer the question"

"Yes…" Brain rushed out finally as he awaited what he hoped to be Michael falling into his arms as he voiced his love for him in return. What he got instead was the complete opposite as once again his ass end came in contact with the hard wooden floor. He felt the tissue of his lip rip…felt the first drops of warm blood as it trickled down his chin…and before he had a chance to get his bearings Michael was walking away from him.

"Don't worry honey" he heard the bar tender call out after Michael and Dexter. "You can do better anyways. He couldn't even get it up" Brain could feel his heart drop into his stomach as Michael turned to face him once again. The look on his face was unlike anything Brain had ever seen on his handsome face. It was a look of pure and complete hatred. A look that told him that he had finally fucked things up so much so that they could never go back to where they were before. Tears misted his eyes as he watched Michael's form disappear out the doors of the gym…but it quickly turned to pure embarrassment at the gawking onlookers standing in complete silence around him.

"That's all folks" he screamed out madly as he pulled himself from off of the floor. "Hope you enjoyed the show" with a wave of his hand he bounded for the door Michael had just exited…never once looking back.

"Let me take you home Michael" Dexter spoke softly as Michael leaned against the first car they had come up to in the parking lot in an attempt to stop his world from spinning out of control. "You don't look too good"

"How the fuck do you expect me to look after laying all this shit on me" Michael belted out madly as he turned to face the man he couldn't figure out if he should be thanking or beating into a bloody pulp. "You took the only constant in my life and destroyed it in an instant. I know you were trying to help me…but Jesus Dexter I would have preferred to live in the land of denial if it meant that I got to keep Brian in my life. Now…it's all been destroyed" taking several deep breaths he tried to control the tears that threatened to consume him.

"You still love him…even after everything that I told you" Dexter said matter of factly…stunned beyond belief at the amount of love that Michael held for Brain.

"He's the love of my life…my soul mate" was his simple and honest reply. "I've loved him from the first moment I laid eyes on him…but none of that matters now. No matter what happens now…the truth is that he lied to me. He held back the one thing that I've wanted for almost twenty years…his love. Everything was a lie…and I just can't deal with the lies any longer. I have to get out of here" he spoke sadly. "Reliving the haunts of the past has been…heartbreaking. Take care of yourself Dexter"

Dexter couldn't move…couldn't speak a word as he watched the man whose whole outlook on love he had shattered into a thousand pieces. Lost in his own thoughts…he never felt Brian's presence until he felt cold metal plastered against his backside. He waited for the blow… waited to feel the damage upon his deserving body as Brian got the revenge he so rightly deserved. Yet…what he got stunned him so much so that once again he was rendered speechless. "You've ruined my entire life you mother fucker and now you must pay" he heard Brian scream at him…before he fell to the ground at him feet. "Are you happy now Dex? Are you happy that you once and for all turned the only man I have ever loved against me?" Dexter could only lean against the car in stunned silence as the once strong and confident Brian Kinney crumbled before his very eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing here" Debbie cried out to her son as he threw open the front door of his childhood home…racing past her without speaking a word. "Michael…honey what is it?" she called out to him as he ran up the stairs leading towards his childhood sanctuary. "What the fuck have you done now Brain" she questioned the empty living room as she made her way towards her only sons room. She could feel her heart break within her chest as sobs of outright pain emanated through the wood door. "Michael…" she spoke softly as she entered the room of his youth…shutting it behind her as she made her way to where he laid on his bed.

"It's all been a lie" he howled into the pillow…drenched with his tears. He didn't know why he hadn't just gone back to his apartment… but he found as he was walking away from the nightmare of his reunion… that he was headed towards the one place where it had all began nearly twenty years ago.

"What's been a lie sweetheart" she coerced tenderly as she sat upon the side of the bed…rubbing soothing circles across his back like she used to do when Michael was a kid.

"Everything…Brain…love…me" he hiccupped into the pillow where he continued to hide his tearful face.

"I'm afraid that you've lost me" she continued with her soothing ways. "But then again it's hard to understand anyone when they are speaking to a pillow. Michael…come on baby" she continued…grabbing him by the shoulders as she gently nudged him to turn over. "Speak to you mother…tell me what the fuck Brian did now"

He wanted to keep his words to himself…wanted to flee from the room where so much of his past with Brian had taken place…but he couldn't. This was home…the place where his mother and uncle Vic were always there to take away the hurt and the pain…always there to share the joys and the laughter. It was home. She was his mother and despite the fact that he was a grown man…he needed his mother more then he had ever needed her in his lifetime. "I love you mom" he whispered through his tears as he sat up and pulled her into his arms. "I love you so much" he didn't know why he needed her to know that…but somehow he needed her to know just that.

"I know baby and I love you too" she gave a small laugh…wrapping her arms around her son who seemed to be filled with so much pain. "Now why don't you tell me what's going on…ok"

"Ok…" he sniffled as he loosed the grip he had on her. "Brian loves me" he rushed out…wiping at the tears that still continued to flow from his eyes.

"Well no shit Sherlock" Debbie burst out perplexed. "Brian has always loved you and you have always loved him. So what does this have to do with the state that you are in?"

"He's in love with me…has been in love with me since we were kids" he sobbed into his mothers comforting shoulder.

"I don't understand Michael" she said perplexed. "Isn't that what you always wanted for Brian to love you. Isn't that what you have been waiting to hear?"

"It was all a lie" he wailed…soaking the silk of her nightgown with his tears. "He did things to people…said things to people so they would stay away from me. He loved me and yet he never did anything about it. He allowed me to love him whole heartedly…wishing against hope that he would love me just a sliver of what I did…and he did…he just never told me"

"Michael…sweety. I love you more then life itself…but I am afraid that I am still lost…so why don't you start from the beginning" And so he did. He told her every grueling detail of what he had found out earlier that night. Told her of the confrontation with Brian in front of the whole graduated class of nineteen eighty-eight. His tears got the better of him as he described the utter heartache when Brian had finally admitted his true feelings for him…and how confused he was now that he knew the truth. He told her that despite the fact that practically his whole stash of childhood memories with Brian were a lie…that he still loved him like no other. The emotion of the evening soon became too much as she laid him across the softness of the worn comforter as sleep overtook him. "Fucking asshole" she mouthed angrily as she kissed her son tenderly upon the cheek before leaving him to his restless slumber. She couldn't wait to get her hands on Brian…and at the ringing of the doorbell she knew that she didn't have to wait long.

"Hey kiddo…" Vic greeted Brian as he opened the front door. "What the hell happened to you" he questioned in astonishment as he took in the wreck of his face. He didn't know what had happened to the kid he thought more of as a son then he would ever let on…but the black eye and split lip were nothing compared to the haunted look in his eyes.

"You have a fucking lot of nerve to show you face here you son of a bitch" he heard Debbie scream out behind him as she raced down the last few steps…hands outstretched as she reached out to pound the man who had broken her sons heart once again. Confused as hell…but suspecting it had something to do with Michael…Vic grabbed onto his sister tightly before she had a chance to do any more bodily damage to the already obviously broken man. "Let me the go" she screamed out in madness…arms flailing as she continued her attempt to inflict pain on Brian.

"Brian…go into the kitchen. Sis…sit down and cool off. Once you are under control you can come into the kitchen and we will discuss whatever it is that is going on" he ordered…pushing his sister onto the nearby couch…blocking her view as Brian slowly made his way into the tiny kitchen.

"What the fuck are you doing" she cried out more upset then before as she tried to get up…only to be pushed backwards once again. "You have no idea what he did to Michael tonight. He fucking deserves everything that I am about to do to him" she screamed out…making it a point for Brian to hear.

"You will get control of yourself before you come anywhere near him" Vic threatened…giving her a look severe that it stopped her right in her tracks. "You have meddled enough in their lives…it's now time for them to work things out between the two of them…without your or my input" He could see that she was about to disagree…but once again he flashed her an look so evil that it rendered her unable to move. "Take a few minutes to control yourself while I fix up Brian's wounds. When you are ready then…and only then can you come in" he didn't say another word and didn't give her a chance either as he turned and made his way into the kitchen. **Good lord this is going to be a good night** he thought to himself as he sat down beside the man who sat at the table…head buried in his hands as his shoulders shook heavily from his heart shattering tears. "Ok…you wanna tell me what the hell is going on"

"Mikey knows…" Brian bawled into his hands as he continued to hide his beaten face from the world.

"You finally told him?" Vic replied in confusion.

"Dexter…"

"Michael's ex-boyfriend. Yeah…that makes sense since he hated your guts"

"Over…"

"No way that it's over. You and Michael have been through much worse then this and have survived"

"Love"

"I know you love him Brian…you've always loved him. You were just to stupid not to tell him"

"Die…"

"No you won't die if Michael's not in your life…but that won't happen kiddo. Not in this lifetime anyways. Michael loves you just as much as you love him. You just have to give him some time to process it all"

"Hate…"

"Yes he hates you now…but this is Michael we are talking about. Once the two of you have calmed down you can sit down and work your way through this like you always do"

"Debbie…"

"Who cares what my meddling sister has to say? This is about you and my nephew"

"You…"

"Brian…I love you like a son and I have wished for years that you would get you head out of you ass and tell Michael how you truly felt about him. But…you never did. I hate to say this to you kiddo…but you've had this coming for a long time. I know how hard it is for you to understand this…so I will be a blunt as possible. You fucked up…you fucked up big…but you can fix it"

"How…"

"Talk to Michael. Get over yourself and your evil ways and be with the man you have been in love with since I don't know how long. I don't know how…only you can figure that one out. But do it…and do it now. Because I would like to see the two of you together and happy before I move into the great gayland beyond"

"Christ…you understood all of that" Debbie asked in awe as she stood in the entrance of the kitchen.

"Gay men have their own secret language sis" Vic laughed as he kissed Brian tenderly upon the side of the head. "Come on Brian my boy…lift up that head and let me clean up that ugly mug of yours"

"Let me know who the person was that did that to you so I can remember to give them a years worth of free meals at the diner" Debbie sneered…enjoying the way that Brian flinched each time that Vic cleaned a tender spot.

"Michael" he whispered sadly…staring at the floor unable to look at the women whom he loved like a real mother.

"Well good for him. It's about fucking time that he got the balls to put you in your place and another thing…"

"That's enough mom" Michael spoke softly behind his mother as he made his way into the entranceway where she stood.

"Michael…" Brain cried out as he jerked his heart broken body from off of the chair he had been sitting on. "Michael…I need to talk to you. Please…if you would just listen to me I could make you understand"

"The fuck you are going to talk to him. Get your ass out of here Brain before I call the cops on your stupid ass and have you hauled out" Debbie cried out in upset…knowing full well that if Brian got his wish that Michael would forgive him and eventually get his heart ripped out again.

"I'll be upstairs" Michael spoke clearly…looking at Brian as he kissed his mother on her cheek before heading back up to his bedroom.

"What…what…what…" Debbie stammered as she tried to make sense of what just happened.

"Go to him" Vic whispered as he stood behind Brian. "Make him understand. Come on sis…lets go into my room and watch some late night TV" he spoke strongly as he grabbed onto his sisters arm… literally dragging her kicking and screaming into his bedroom.

Paralyzing fear over took him as he continued to stand in the empty kitchen. Fear of not knowing what to say to make the man that he loved wholly understand. Fear of fucking things up worse then they already were. But his biggest fear was that maybe he would come up with the right words…that he could get Michael to understand why he had kept his vow of silence and then he would have to deal with the real world. He knew that he loved Michael…knew that he couldn't stand for him to not be in his life…but he was utterly terrified of what he would do if it would happen. Taking several cleansing breaths he slowly made his way up the creaking stairs he had climbed up and down to numerous times as a child with Michael to count. Normally he would just burst into Michael's room…hoping to find him in some sort of disarray…but that time knocking seemed to be for the best.

"Come in" Michael voice came muffled through the door. Taking another deep breath he turned the doorknob and took the final steps needed to enter the unknown. Silently the two stared at each other… neither wanting to speak first…both afraid to. Brain felt as if he couldn't get enough air into his lungs…while the room began to spin a little as he pulled in massive amounts of air. Michael however felt just the opposite as he continued to haul large amounts of air into his over expanded lungs…beginning to feel lightheaded. "Talk Brian… or leave" his words came out in a shaky rush as the silence of the situation began to grate on his nerves.

"I don't know what you want me to say" Brain said truthfully…still standing in the doorframe. He didn't know what to do…how to react as Michael sat upon the bed he had slept in on more then one occasion during his childhood and adult life.

"Start talking Brian…or get out" was his simple reply as he pulled his legs up under him as he awaited Brian's response.

"You already know everything Mikey. You already know that I love you… what more do you want from me?"

"I want to know why. Do you understand that?" he questioned his anger beginning to get the best of him. "Just tell me why. Make me understand how it is that what we had…what we have is all a lie"

"Everything that we have is not a lie Mikey" Brain bit out…moving forward into the room. He knew that Michael had a reason to be upset with him…but he had to admit that he was more then a little aggravated at the way that he was acting. "Jesus Michael…so I didn't tell you that I was in love with you. So I kept things from you to insure that you never fell for anyone else…so what. It's not a big deal…people lie to each other all the time" Brian knew that he was being an ass…but he felt exposed with Michael's words…but what bothered him the most was the look of pure…unadulterated hurt that stared up at him though chocolate depths. He was wrong…he was pushing Michael too far…he knew it…but he didn't care and pushed even further. "It isn't like you have never lied to me before…kept things from me that you didn't want me to know. Besides…if I hadn't of kept my secret you would have never met Ben. You wouldn't have met the man of your dreams…wouldn't have gotten to play house with the good professor. So in a sense I did you a favor" he smirked a bit…biting his lip he waited for the tears that he knew were to come and despite the fact that it tore at his heart…it reflected the spotlight from the real reason that they were there. The tears came just as expected. Large drops of water that bled from his eyes…down his cheek…landing onto his folded lap as he continued to stare up at him with huge doe eyes. "Michael…" he continued…taking a step forward… only to fly backwards…his head slamming into the wall as Michael flew off the bed…pinning him to the wall behind them.

"You know what Brian…I never in a million years thought that I would hate you as much as I hate you right now. You have done some awful things to me in the time that I have known you…have said things to me that have broken my heart in a million pieces…but those are nothing compared to the things you have said to me tonight. Your right…if you hadn't have kept your secret Ben and I would have never met…would have never fallen in love. I loved Ben with all that I am…more then I thought I could ever love another person that wasn't you" He screamed squarely in Brian's face. "And he loved me. He loved me so much and unlike you he wasn't afraid to show me that love. I will never regret meeting Ben…never regret giving him my heart because he kept it safe and warm. He never hurt me in the ways that you have hurt me…he wouldn't know how too. But you…you are such a miserable person that you're not happy unless you're making the people around you just as miserable. You know Brian…you are really a sad person when you think about it. You have this air about you that says you are all man…that you have it all together. However…nothing could be farther from the truth. You are a fucking coward. You knew that I was in love with you. Knew that I would have given up everything in my life if it would have meant that you and I could have been together…because that's what you do when you are in love. You do whatever you have to do to be with that person…whatever you have to do to make sure that they always feel loved. You may have loved me… but in all the years I've known you I've never felt truly loved by you"

"Michael…I do love you" Brian cut in…his heart feeling like it was going to die right there in his chest.

"No Brian…you love you. It's always been about you…it will always be about you" Michael spoke sadly…releasing the hold that he held on the man he didn't know anymore. "Just go…please I can't do this with you anymore. I can't take your games anymore. So please…Brian…I am begging you…if you love me…if you ever loved me then leave me alone"

"I won't leave you alone Mikey" was his frightened retort as he wrapped Michael within his arms…pulling him tauntly against his trembling body. "I love you…you have to know that. Jesus Mikey…" he continued…releasing his love as he began to pace the length of the room. His heart was beating so fast that he just knew he was going to drop dead on the spot from the scare of it all. He knew he had to explain…knew that he had to somehow make Michael believe that he still loved him…that he too was tired of the games and ready for the next step. Gone was the self assured Brian that everyone knew so well and in his place someone that was scared shitless that they were about to lose everything that ever meant anything to him. "Do you want to know why I kept my love for you such a secret?" he asked… running his hands through his hair in frustration. When Michael didn't respond he continued. "I remember the first time that we met. You were running away from some bullies that were chasing you. You were running so fast that you didn't have time to see me as you rounded the corner of the school and you knocked the two of us to the ground. Do you remember that?"

"I remember" was Michael's response as he fell back against the wall he had pinned Brian to moments ago…using it for leverage as he slid to the floor below.

"You were fourteen" Brian smiled as he recalled the first time he had met the kid who had become such a huge part of his life. "Your eyes were huge as you landed on top of me and in an instant I was sucked into those beautiful brown eyes. You kept trying to get off of me… but all you managed to do was to tangle us up even more. I didn't care…for all I cared we could have stayed there forever just like that. I didn't know it then…but just like out of those trashy romance novels I fell in love with you at first sight. The next thing I knew you were being ripped from off of me and before I had a chance to comprehend what was going on…you were being dragged away. I was new in the school. I didn't know a soul…but I wanted to know you and so I did what I had to do to ensure that"

"You kicked all of there asses" Michael chuckled sadly…as he allowed Brian to drag him down memory lane.

"Yeah…I had to. I couldn't let them hurt the cutest guy I had ever seen in my life. I knew that I was gay…and with just one look I knew that you were too"

"That's why they were chasing me. I wasn't even sure that I was gay… but they sure seemed to know"

"After that we became inseparable. You were my everything Michael. From the first moment we met I was hooked and…"

"Then why now?" Michael cut him off…pulling his knee's into his chest. "If you knew then…then why didn't you tell me?" he questioned…tears once again littering his face.

"As I got to know you I realized that you weren't like me all together. Yes…you were gay…but you wanted the romance and everything that came along with it. You've always been stronger then me Michael. I've always known that. You wanted to hold hands in the hallway…kissing behind the bleachers in the gym…school dances where we ignored the gasping crowds full of shock"

"You didn't know what I wanted…you just think that you did" Michael interjected once again.

"It's what you wanted Mikey" Brian whispered…falling onto the bed as an over powering exhaustion began to set in. "I was your best friend. You told me everything…remember? We used to sit here in this very room and talk about our love lives and what we wanted once we graduated from high school. I wanted to graduate and get as far away from the Pitt's as possible. I wanted to fuck my brains out and not think twice about it…but you…you wanted more. You would talk about meeting the man of your dreams. Your face would get this glow about it as you talked about falling in love and settling down. You've always wanted the man of your dreams with the house and the white picket fence. You wanted the romance…wanted to be swept off of your feet by the man that you loved…and despite the fact that I secretly wanted it just as much as you did…I knew that I could never give you what you wanted…what you needed"

"You were scared"

"I was petrified" he responded as he slide to the floor…leaning against the frame of the bed as he went on. "I knew that I could never give you what you needed and yet I was scared shitless that someone else would. I knew it was wrong…knew that it was selfish…but I couldn't have anyone else take you away from me" he sighed heavily… once again running his hand through his hair. "I've always known that the two of us would end up together in the end. It is just something that I knew it my heart. I knew that one day I would get over my selfishness and be with the only man that I ever loved…and then you met Ben and he was everything that you had been waiting for. My life fell apart after that…but I knew you were happy and in love so I made an attempt to move on as well"

"With Justin…" Michael whispered softly…more tears escaping down his cheek.

"Yeah…" he responded just as sadly. "I won't lie to you Michael…I cared deeply for Justin…but please don't ever think that it matched the amount of love that I hold for you. I realized during the time I was with Justin just how stupid I was to have let you get away from me…but it was too late. You were in love with Ben and planning the life you always wanted. But…know this Mikey…I never once gave up the hope that you and I would come together in the end. I wasted a lot of years…let you slip away from me on more then one occasion…and I can't take any of it back. You have no idea how much I would if I could…but here it is the plain and simple truth. I love you Michael. I've fucked up…made huge mistakes that you should never forgive me for…but I need you to forgive me Michael. Just tell me what I need to do to make you love me once again. Tell me what it is that you want to ensure that you won't ever leave me again. I'll do anything that I have to…"

Michael's head was spinning as he listened to Brian's words. For as long as he could remember those were the words that he had longed to hear…and despite his heart told him to throw himself at Brian and forgive him on the spot…his mind talked some sense into him before he had a chance to respond. "I want it all" he stated simply…staring deeply into hazel eyes that haunted him during every waking and non- waking hour of his life. "I want the romance…want the seduction. I want you to stop tricking for good. No more drinking or drugs. I want to be the only man in your life besides your son. But most important I want you to leave me alone for awhile. I don't know how long" he cut Brian off before he had a chance to respond. "I just need some time to think about everything that has happened tonight"

"Will you come back to me?" Brian asked fearfully…his breath catching in his throat as he awaited Michael's response.

"I can't answer that right now" was his response as he pulled himself from off of the floor…opening the door of his bed room as he stood beside it. "Just give me some time to think" No more words were said… and both knew that none were needed as Brain dragged himself from the floor and slowly made his way towards the front door.

"I'll wait forever if that it what it takes" Brain whispered against Michael's ear as he leaned in and kissed him tenderly upon his cheek. "I love you Mikey. Always have…always will…no matter what you decide"

In near defeat Brian slowly made his way down the stairs…nearly tripping over his own feet as a blinding flash momentarily blinded him. "Just a little souvenir for later" he heard Debbie speak nastily as she held the developing Polaroid picture in front of him.

"You really hate me don't you" he questioned sadly…as he sat heavily upon the bottom stair.

"I don't' hate you Brian…I should…but I don't. What I hate is the way that you have treated my son from the moment that you met him" was her response as she plopped upon the step below him…turning to face him once she had.

"I love him Deb and I am going to do whatever I can to get him back"

"I know you do and I know you will. Hell…I know that I am going to help you in the end…but leave him alone for right now. Whatever hell Michael puts you through you deserve…and he is owed. Just give him time honey is all that I am saying"

"I'll wait forever…he knows that"

"Yeah…he does. Now get the hell out of my house Brian Kinney" Debbie chuckled as she pulled herself off of the creaky old step…leaning over to kiss the obviously down beaten man upon the forehead.

If Brian thought that anything could be worse then having Michael find out about his long hidden love…he quickly found out just how wrong he was. It had been less then a week with no word from Michael and he felt as if he was about to go out of his mind with fright. He had given up the drinking…the drugs and the tricks…but after the first night without touching…speaking…seeing Michael he realized that he didn't need those things to live…what he needed was his Mikey. Michael was his drug…his addiction and despite the fact that he loved and trusted him with his life…he couldn't help but wonder what it was that he was doing as he slowly went mad at home all alone without him.

For Michael…it was no better. At first he was just plain hurt. He could not believe the nerve of Brian holding his love back from him when he knew that it was all that he ever wanted. However…hurt quickly turned to somewhat of an understanding. He knew that Brian's family was more then a little dysfunctional and due to this Brian had been hurt more times they he could actually remember. It had been a topic of discussion during more then one Novotny family dinner. On one side there was his mother who was insistent that he make Brian pay for his lies and deception and then on the other side there was Vic who reminded Michael that Brain was wrong in some of the things that he had done…but in the long run he did what was best for the both of them. At first Michael had been confused at his words…but as they weighed upon his mind constantly…eventually they began to make sense. Three weeks into his self imposed time away…he decided that it was time to take the first step of rediscovery with his relationship with the man that he still loved with an undying passion.

To say that Brian was surprised to hear from Michael was an understatement. When he had received the call on his cell phone while he attempted to keep his mind on his work. He almost began to do cartwheels right there in his office as he relished the sound of his voice. Michael had ask him to meet him at Babylon later that night…but not to expect too much. He wanted to take things slow… wanted to make sure that this was the right thing for the both of them. Brian didn't care how slow Michael took things at that time. He was dying to lay eyes on his potential lover and a night at Babylon could prove to be just what the two of them needed to start the repair work on their fucked up relationship.

He hadn't been to Babylon since the night of the reunion and even though it had only been three weeks it felt as if it had been a lifetime. The twinks were all over him the instant that he had entered the over crowded dance club. Rumors had been spread far and wide as to why the king of Liberty Avenue had not shown hide nor hair of himself to the one place that he practically lived in. He wanted nothing to do with them since only one man was on his mind. He ignored their looks of shock and then disdain…ignored their nasty whispers as they scurried away like the little cockroaches that they were to him. He didn't care what the gay masses thought of him anymore…he only cared what one person thought…because as he had always known…he was the only one that mattered.

Scanning the club he searched frantically for Michael as he made his way towards the bar where Ted and Emmett were huddled together. "Have you seen Mikey?" he grunted at them once he made it to the bar.

"As always nice to see you too Brian" Ted spoke condescendingly.

"Have you seen Mikey or not" Brain bit out…trying like hell to control the urge to smack the man he truly did not like. No words were spoken as he followed Ted's pointed finger towards the middle of the dance floor. His breath caught within his throat…his heart stopped beating as he took in the sight of his Mikey dancing very closely with another man. All hopes for a perfect evening with the one that he loved were dashed in an instant. Pulling his eyes away… he turned towards the bar barking out an order at a nearby bartender for a jack and coke. Bringing the glass to his lips he could smell the over powering scent of the mind number…could taste the fumes as he snaked his tongue forward towards the bitter tasting liquid…only to slammed the potion upon the bar as Michael's words came back to haunt him. **It's a test** he though to himself as he turned away from the drink once again watching the man he was willing to give it all up for bump and grind with another.

He knew Brian was watching him…could feel his eyes as they burned angrily into the back of his head…and he loved. He knew that it was mean and it was spiteful…but he wanted Brian to feel just a tad of what he had been dealing with most of his life when it came to him and his many…many…many men. He could feel every bit of his anger and jealousy and so he moved even closer to the anonymous stranger he had picked out specifically for his performance. He was hot and he was built and there was no denying as he ran his muscular hands up and down Michael's back side as to what he wanted from Michael. Turning… he locked eyes with the man whose own eyes were literally glowing with almost unreserved anger and it caused him to smile. Playtime was over…it was time to give Brian a morsel of what Michael hoped he truly wanted. With an extended kiss upon the handsome mans lips…he excused himself as he made his way over to Brain…whom had not once taken his eyes off of him once since he had spotted the dancers. .

"You wanna dance" Michael asked Brian as he took his hand…not waiting for a response as he led him towards the dance floor.

"You sure took your sweet time Mikey" Brian pouted as he attempted to wrap his arms around Michael's slim waist. "I've been here for almost two hours" Aggregation quickly consumed him as his hands were removed from where he longed for them to be and placed at his own side.

"Mikey…" he whispered in shock as he once again tried to pull the man who's body he needed to feel close to his once again…only to be brutally rebuffed yet again.

"Hands to your self Mr. Kinney" Michael laughed…turning around as he wiggled his ass against that of Brian's causing him to groan in response. He was in control…and he wanted to enjoy his control for as long as he could…because he knew that once he took Brian back into his life for good all control was going to slide down the tubes. They danced only inches apart for as long as Michael could stand it before he took hold of Brian's hands…wrapping them around his shoulders as he leaned into him. He could feel his resolve slipping already in just the short amount of time he and Brian had danced together and he knew that it was time to bring their evening to an end before he lost control completely. "I gotta go" he whispered against his ear as he turned his head and came face to face with a look of pure want across his face. "I have to go" he spoke loudly once again against his ear…ignoring the look that was slowly beginning to suck him in.

"Mikey…no" he exclaimed as he tried to pull the determined man back into his arms. However…Michael was having none of it as he leaned up and kiss Brian quickly upon his cheek before heading off in the direction of the clubs exit. "When will I see you again?" he shouted towards the retreating figure.

"Soon…" Michael responded with a grin and then in an instant he was gone.

It was three more days before Brian heard from Michael again and despite the fact that he knew that Michael deserved to give him payback…he was more then a little tired of the games. He had been sitting at the diner all alone…drinking his third cup of shitty coffee when Michael has walked in and sat down in front of him. Brian was cranky and more then a bit horny as the two continued to stare at each other from across the table. It was as if they were trying to see who could last the longest without saying a word and despite the fact that Brian wanted to be the stronger of the two… since Michael's ultimatum he found that he was anything but. "You're killing me Michael" he spoke in defeat as he slumped back against the worn and cracked seat.

"I'm not trying to kill you Brian" he spoke softly as he reached across the table and took Brian's hands into his own. "I just can't rush into anything with you right now. I still love you Brian. Jesus I wish that I could just stop…but I can't. However…despite that I refuse to fall into the same pattern as before. You say you love me Brian…and I believe that you do…but if we are to have any kind of relationship things have to progress slowly. It's not about making you suffer anymore…even if it was a little fun at the beginning" he chuckled as he graced Brian with one of his playful smiles. "But like I told you before…I want it all. I want to be romanced…want you to prove to me that you truly do love me. I want to know that when and if I do finally give into you…that it is going to be for more then just one night. I want the commitment…the monogamy…but most of all I want your complete and total love"

"You have my love Michael…you always have…you know that"

"But I want more Brian…I need more" was his response as he leaned over and kissed Brian tenderly upon his cheek. "It's all up to you now Brian. You need to make the next move. I'll be waiting" and with that said he was gone once again.

"You really are a stupid son of a bitch" he heard Debbie laugh beside him as she slid with a grunted groan into the seat before him.

"Nice to see you too Debbie" he bit out…throwing a couple of dollars upon the table before he tried to leave.

"Not so fast Mister…" she said…grabbing onto his arm as he jerked him back into the nearly vacant seat. "Brian…I love you…but you really aren't too bright are you?" he questioned with a laugh as she reached over and smacked Brian playfully on the head.

"Well pretending that I have any idea of what you are talking about… why don't you elaborate on to just how stupid I am" he growled… picking up his formerly discarded cup of coffee…swirling the contents around.

"He wants you to make the next move. He's waiting for you to give him what he wants most. Jesus Brian…do I have to spell it out for you" Debbie went on in a high screech…causing the whole diner to turn and look at what all the commotion was all about.

"Maybe you'd better" he said…leaning forward as he awaited her words of wisdom.

"He wants to be romanced…just like he said. He's waiting for you to call him and ask him out on a date. He wants you to show up at his door with flowers and shit like that. He wants you to take him to an expensive restaurant…shower him with complements. He wants to be pampered"

"Christ…were not hetro's Deb" Brian laughed…cutting it short at the look of pure irritation that soon crossed her face. "Were fags…we go for the fucking…forgoing the romance and flowery shit"

"You may think like that you little asshole…but Michael doesn't. He's always been a little different and you know that. Hell it's the reason that you were to fucking chicken to admit your feelings to him from the start" she yelled…reaching over to smack him in the head once again. "Now I won't say that he hasn't fucked his share of strangers…but when it comes to the men that he loves…Michael always expects more"

Brian knew that Debbie was right and as much as he hated to admit it… he was desperate for her help. "I've always sucked at the romantic shit" he sulked…dropping the coffee cup he had been holding onto the table. "I wouldn't know where to start"

"Well lucky for you…you little asshole…I know all about the romantic shit" she laughed…huddling with Brian as the two of them came up with the perfect evening for the man that they each love fully.

The Next Day…

"Hello" Michael huffed into the phone as he rushed across the store… nearly knocking two kids to the ground in his attempt to catch it before whomever it was hung up.

"Hey Mikey" Brian returned giddily…hardly containing himself with what he had planned for the two of them that night.

"Hey Brian…what's up" Michael asked as he rang up the purchases for some of his customers.

"I'd like to take you out tonight" he rushed out quickly…his giddy demeanor quickly over taken by fear as he awaited Michael's response.

"Take me out…like on a date" he stammered…unable to believe what he had been hearing. Sure it was something that he had been dying to have happen with Brian…but something that he never thought that would.

`Yeah…on a date" he chuckled uneasily. "I mean…that's if you would like to go…or not…I…"

"NO…I'd love to" Michael cut him off before he had a chance to change his mind. "I'd love to go out on a date with you Brian. What time will you be picking me up?"

"I've made reservations at The Red Room for seven o'clock" he returned…unable to stop the smile gracing his lips.

"The Red Room…" Michael repeated in shock. "Brian…no. It's too expensive. We could do to the diner…or eat in"

"I'll pick you up at six-thirty and I don't want to hear another word about it" he laughed…already knowing how much Michael was freaking out. "I love you Mikey…see you tonight"

"Tonight…" he repeated in shock as he hung up the phone. He didn't know what to do as he continued to stand there with the phone plastered to his ear…the empty dial tone ringing loudly.

Hey Mike…you ok" he heard one of his regulars question him as he finally got his wits about him.

"Yeah…fine" he spoke quickly…forgetting about Brian during the rush of the afternoon. Hours later he was exhausted as he finished cleaning up the mess left by the after school crowd. He could help but check his watch ever few minutes as he waited for the final moment when he could close up shop…head home and prepare for his date with Brian. He was giddy with excitement at the prospects the night had to offer…but he was always nervous as well since the truth of the matter was he had never really been on a date with anyone before.

"Michael Novotny" he heard someone speak out in front of him as he continued to conjure up all sorts of ideas as to how the night would end up.

"Yes…" he answered…his heart hammering in his chest as he eyed what the man held within his hands.

"Sign here" he continued…placing a sheet of paper in front of him before handing over the object over to him. "Some one must really care for you" the man spoke with a bit of jealousy in his voice. "This particular arrangement is quite expensive"

"Um…yeah…thanks" Michael stammered as he reached into the pocket of his pants…sliding the few dollars he found towards the man.

"No need for that…tips all ready been paid. Enjoy your flowers" the man said as he began to take his leave. "Oh wait…I almost forgot. This is a list of what each color rose stands for. The person who sent this to you must really love you since just about ever color of the rainbow is present. Well…enjoy them"

"I will…thanks" he spoke absent mindedly as he waited eagerly for the deliveryman to leave before jerking the card out of the enormous flower arrangement.

**Dear Mikey…I know that I haven't always treated you with the greatest respect. I know that I've hurt your feelings on more then one occasion…only to ignore the look of hurt in your eyes as I pretended everything was fine. I know that I have led you on with my teasing and flirting…only to pull back before my true feelings could be reveled. However…I want you to know this…I love you with everything that I am. You are my whole world Michael…you always have been and you always will be. I love you Michael…plain and simple and I will wait as long as I have to until you can love me the way that I love you.*** tears misted his eyes as he turned the card over and continued to read Brian's heartfelt words. ***We will be together Michael…together forever and I hope that tonight is just a start of that. I love you Mikey…and will till the ends of time.***

"Together forever" he re-read Brian's words wistfully as he leaned over and inhaled the beautiful fragrance of the basket of multi colored roses. He couldn't stop the silly smile that he knew was covering his face because the fact of the matter was that no one had ever sent him flowers before. Picking up the card the delivery man had placed on the counter he began to read it…tears blazing down his face as he learned what each color rose represented between he and Brian.

Red…I love you
White…Purity
Pink…Please believe in me
Yellow…Friendship
Yellow with Red Tip…Friendship/falling in love
Orange…Desire
Red and White…Unity
Lavender…Love at first sight

Without a second thought he hustled the lingering customers out of his shop…closing up early as he grabbed his bouquet and raced home to prepare for his date with Brian.

"Ok…explain to me why you are making such a big deal about this date with Brian" Emmett questioned as he waded through the piles of clothes littering Michael's bedroom floor. "In fact you have a lot of explaining to do young man" he continued with a flounce as he fell dramatically across the crowded bed. "I mean for weeks all you can talk about is how much you can't wait for your high school reunion… and then it comes and goes without a word said otherwise. You and Brian are barely speaking to each other and then…"

"It's complicated" Michael cut in…rummaging again through the pile of clothes in desperate need for something suitable to wear.

"It always is when it comes to Brian" was his quick retort. "And just where did you get that fabulous bouquet that I saw sitting on the dinning room table"

"There from Brian" Michael replied with a goofy grin as he fell atop the mounds of clothing strewn around him.

"Brian…as in Brian Kinney" he spoke astounded as he got up and tripped his way over to the bouquet intent on finding out just what the hell was going on between his two close friend. Try as he might… Michael was not quick enough to stop him as he ran after his wayward friend…dancing like a ballerina across the expanse of the apartment. "OMG…I think that I am going to cry" he heard Emmett exclaim as he held the card Brian had written above his head as Michael tried like hell to swipe it. "He…he loves you. He wants to grow old with you"

"It doesn't say that" Michael bit out…jumping up one final time to retrieve the card he would never part with…ever.

"Close enough sweety. OMG…Michael…Brian loves you. He wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Wait…" he stopped with his overly dramatic acting. "Brian loves you. What the fuck? Oh Lucy… you have lots of splaining to do" his dramatics kicked in once again as he grabbed onto Michael's unsuspecting hand…as together they both fell onto the couch located behind them. "So…spill and don't you dare leave out one single detail"

"How do I look?" Michael asked nervously as he stood before his friend an hour later after filling him in on everything that had happened since the reunion.

"Oh baby…Brian is going to hard pressed to leave this place once he gets one look at you. You look so hot" he exclaimed in exuberance as he pulled Michael into his arms…dancing him around the living room. Unable to control Emmett's enthusiasm…he allowed the skinny man to whirl him around and around until he was giddy with laughter.

"Should I be jealous" they heard an all so familiar voice speak out around them…jerking them to a complete standstill. "Here these are for you"

"Brian…you didn't have to do this" Michael spoke in awe as he took another large bouquet of flowers from Brian's outstretched hands… bringing them immediately to his nose as he inhaled there beautiful essence. "There…there just beautiful. Thank you Brian"

"Nothings to good for you Mikey" he spoke…a reddened blush edging its way across his beautiful cheekbones. "So…shall we go" he spoke more clearly as he reached out his hand waiting for Michael to take it.

"Emmett…could you…" he motioned to the kitchen as he handed the flowers over to the tearful…unspeaking man.

With a shy grin upon his face…he gently placed his hand into the softness of Brian's hand…beaming over his shoulder at a still unspeaking Emmett as he was lead out of his apartment. They rode in nervous silence as Brain drove towards the overly trendy restaurant. Michael felt as if every nerve was on edge once they reached pulled in front of the restaurant. He knew that Brian was trying to impress him…but truth be told he always felt uncomfortable in places like The Red Room and prayed like hell the his uncomfortableness didn't show on the outside. "Come on Mikey…" he heard Brian speak lovingly as he opened the passenger door…lending him an elbow as he assisted him out of the car. "You look spectacular tonight" he whispered softly against his ear…sending chills of wanted lust down his spine.

Brian watched Michael's eyes as they darted back and forth nervously as they were led towards their table. He knew that Michael normally hated fancy…over priced places like that…but he was determined to make sure that he enjoyed himself for once. He wanted Michael to be pampered…because he deserved to be pampered. "Jesus Brian…its too expensive" he heard Michael blurt out as he hid behind the over sized menu as they prepared to order. "They want thirty dollars for a piece of chicken…and I have never heard of any of the other things on this menu"

"Money is not an issue tonight Mikey" Brian assured…lowering his menu as he gave Michael a reassuring grin. "Tonight is all about you and what you want"

"Do you mean that Brian" he asked hopefully…jerking his eyes once again around the over crowded…over priced restaurant. "Because what I really want in a bacon cheese burger from the diner and then a piece of cherry pie alamode to top it off"

"Is that what you really want Mikey" Brian questioned…already knowing the answer at the look of hope that radiated from his handsome face.

"Please Brian…I love that you want to take me to a place like this… but I just don't feel comfortable here"

"Good evening gentlemen" they heard a penguin looking man speak as he waddled his way up to their table. "Tonight's specials are…"

"Hold it…no need to go over tonight's specials" Brian cut him off… lifting his hand up towards the confused waiter as he removed himself from his chair. "Come on Mikey…let's get out of here"

Michael couldn't keep the smile of relief off of his face as he took Brian's out stretched hand as together they practically raced out of the restaurant. With lightening speed they made it to the diner where they spent the rest of the night getting reacquainted with each other. "Jesus…I can't believe I ate all that shit" Brian moaned as he rubbed his overly full stomach. "but…damn I have to admit that it was damn good" he laughed…setting Michael into a fit of giggles as he shot him a funny face across the table.

"I'm really having so much fun Brian…thank you" Michael chuckled… rubbing his own full stomach.

"Are you really Mikey" Brain asked as he removed his hands from his aching tummy as he reached them across the table…laying them palms up in front of the grinning man before him.

"Yeah…I really am" he returned happily as he laid his own hand atop Brian's…sighing contently as they sat in comfortable silence. "Well I guess that we should go…it's getting late and we both have to work in the morning" he finally said reluctantly…breaking their contented silence.

"Yeah…I guess all good things must come to an end" Brain spoke sadly as he slide out of the booth…never breaking contact with Michael's warm hand. Hands inter-joined they walked slowly towards Brian's car… neither speaking…neither wanting the night to end…but knowing it must.

"Well I guess that I better go in" Michael spoke halfheartedly once Brian had walked him to his front door of his apartment building. "I really did have a nice time tonight Brian…thank you"

"Your welcome Mikey" he spoke nervously…clutching at Michael's hand… unsure on what he should do next. He knew that straight date protocol called for him to kiss his date tenderly upon their cheek before leaving them for the evening. However…as he looked down at Michael he knew that he would die right there on the spot if he didn't get at least a goodnight kiss from him. He knew that he was pushing his luck…but his mind was in dire need as he slowly leaned over and covered Michael's soft lips with his own. At first he didn't move…only continued to lay his lips atop ones he craved to ravage…and when he got no resistance he increased the intensity of the kiss.

"Do you want to come in" he heard Michael gasp once they broke their shared lip lock.

"Not tonight" he heard himself answer as he leaned down and kissed him tenderly one final time before taking his leave. His mind kept cussing him a blue streak as he drove down the lonely roads of the city…but his heart praised him for it knew that there was no need to rush. His dick however…had to agree with his Brain as he parked the car and practically raced towards his bed and much needed release.

The Next Day…

Michael had been walking on clouds all day as he went about his work at the comic book shop. He couldn't stop thinking about the wonderful time that Brian had showed him…but most importantly he could not believe that when he had offered Brian a chance to come up… he had turned him down. Normally in his frantic normal ways he would have been freaking out at being turned down for sex…but this time… with Brian…he felt the complete opposite. He knew that Brian got what he was trying to do…that it wasn't about revenge or spite. He knew that Brian realized that it was about taking it slow…making sure that being together was what they both wanted. He knew Brian understood and that thought alone made him love him even more. However…despite that fact that he loved Brian for having the will power to say no…it didn't help the fact that he was desperately horny the rest of the night.

"Michael Novotny" he heard a voice speak before him…pulling him away from thoughts of him jerking himself off after Brian had left him at the door.

"I'm Michael Novotny" he spoke quickly…a blush rushing across his face as he shuffled closer towards the desk he was standing behind in order to hide his bulging woody.

"Sign here…" in a scene from the previous day he signed the slip of paper that was shoved his way…having two packages placed before him once he did. "Have a nice day"

"Thank you…you too" he rushed out as he looked at the packages before him…knowing who it was from already without even opening them. He tried to control himself…tried to push the packages away…but the kid in him got the better of him as he jerked them back to where he stood… ripping through the brown packing paper. "Holy shit…" he exclaimed to no one in particular as he removed the cardboard box located within…placing it off to the side. With quick and nimble hands he did the same with the other package…whopping with glee at what he found.

"What's wrong Michael" he heard his Uncle Vic question in panic as he raced from out of the backroom where he was stocking the overstock comics. "Everything ok"

"Everything's fine…look" he exclaimed as he raced around the counter… taking his uncles hand into his own as he led him back to where he was standing. "Look what Brian got me. Can you believe it? They don't' even make these anymore"

"Well I would guess not since they have all those new confounded contraptions now" Vic gasped for breath as he got in on his nephews excitedness. "So I take it that things with Brian are working out"

"Oh Uncle Vic…he's really going out of his way to prove to me that he loves me" Michael gushed…assisting Vic towards the chair located behind him. "I can't believe that this is happening to me. I mean it's always been my dream to be with Brian…but it might actually happen"

"It will happen Michael" Vic assured…as he leaned up and kissed Michael upon his cheek. "Brian loves you…he always has. He just needed to grow up some before he could prove it to you"

The ringing of the phone jerked both men away from their thoughts as Michael leaned over and brought the handset to his ear. "I love it Brian. I can't believe you found it" Michael babbled quickly already knowing who was on the phone before they even had a chance to speak.

"I'm glad you like it Mikey. It was worth every penny if it makes you happy" Brian beamed into the phone…already knowing that he had made Michael's day with his impromptu gift of affection.

"Where did you find it…they don't even make them anymore. It looks like its brand new…not even taken out of the box and…"

"Breath Mikey…breath" Brian laughed…loving the way that his surprise had really gotten to him.

"I'm sorry" Michael blushed…giving Vic a dirty look as he chuckled behind him. "Thank you Brian" he spoke seriously…tears misting his eyes. "Thank you for the gift…thank you for our date last night…but most of all thank you for understanding"

"I love you Mikey and I will do anything in my power to ensure that you love me back" Brian spoke truthfully…not caring that he sounded like all the other so called dickless fag couples he had taunted throughout his lifetime. Since the night of the reunion he had changed. Changed into something that he had fought so long to not become and as he continued to speak to the man who was the cause of it all…he couldn't for the life of him remember why he had put up such a fight.

"I do love you Brian" Michael shouted happily…blushing like a mad man once again at the looks that he was receiving from the few meandering customer as well as a still chuckling Uncle Vic. "I love you more then you will ever know" he spoke a bit quieter into the phone piece. "Would you like to come over tonight? He asked…biting his lip as he awaited Brian's response. "We can set up my new Atari and I can cook dinner for us"

"I'd love to come over tonight Mikey" Brian spoke almost to quickly… smiling like an idiot within his empty office at his eager outburst. "See you tonight"

"Ok…see you tonight. Oh and Brian"

"Yeah Mikey…"

"I love it and I love you" and with the said he hung up the phone…the goofiest…dreamiest smile covering his face for the rest of the day.

Later That Night…

Michael was beginning to get nervous as he looked at his watch for what felt like the hundredth time. It was already well past seven o'clock and Brian was nowhere to be seen. He had called him at work… had called in at the loft and even had tried his cell numerous times with no reply from any of them. Cynthia his receptionist had told him that Brian had left work early that day and that she hadn't heard from him since. By the time eight o'clock had rolled around he was in full panic mode after tossing the burnt chicken he had prepared into the trash…he then began to pace the apartment franticly in tune with the ticking of the clock. By eight thirty he was fully out of his mind with worry after having called every person that he could think of that might have known of Brian's whereabouts. He was about to grab his keys and start searching for him himself when there was a knock upon the front door. Racing towards it…he nearly ripped it off of its hinges as he opened it…reveling a grimy looking Brian.

"Where the hell have you been?" he screamed out in panic as he rushed forward…wrapping his arms around Brian's neck as he pulled him tightly against his body. "I was so worried when you didn't show up"

"Shhh…hey…it's ok" Brian soothed as he continued to allow Michael to crush him against his trembling body. "I'm ok Mikey…I just had some car trouble coming back from Bethel Park and my cell phone battery took an that opportune time to die out on me as well. I've been stuck on the Pennsylvania turnpike for the last three and a half hours. I'm really sorry to have worried you Mikey…but I there was nothing that I could do. I tried to get here as fast as I could"

"Jesus Brian…what the hell were you doing in Bethel Park. It's like almost four hours from here" he questioned reluctantly releasing the man he wanted to hold for the rest of his life from his arms. Still trembling he attempted to lead him into the sanctuary of his apartment…confusion covering him when Brian resisted.

"Hold on" he spoke quickly as he kissed Michael softly upon the lips before disappearing down the corridor steps. Within moments he heard Brian's heavy footsteps echo once again up the flight of stairs…his hands over loaded with a huge wicker basket. "This is what I drove to Bethel Park for" he puffed as he marched passed a stunned Michael… setting the basket up on the table before rushing back to where he continued to stand unmoving. "Well…open it" Brian laughed…jumping up and down like an impatient kid as he waited for Michel to open his gift.

"Brian…you didn't have to. I mean…you have already given me so much" he stammered as he looked into his shimmering hazel eyes.

"I haven't even started to give you the things that you deserve" was his truthful reply as he leaned down and stole a quick kiss from the man he loved like no other. "Now…open it"

With tears glistening in his eyes…he began to unravel the brightly colored cellophane wrapper. He knew that his mind had to be playing tricks on him…for he was sure that he could smell the scent of strawberries. However…with each layer that he removed the smell became stronger and stronger. He couldn't stop the giggles that inhabited him at what he found nestled deep within the basket as he began to root through the goodies. Boxes of Nerd candies of every shape and size were strewn around an oversized plush toy holding a felt box. "Brian…you are so crazy" he laughed giddily as he reached in…plucking out a calculator in the shape of a nerd…as well as refrigerator magnets of all sizes. "I love nerds…but how did you get all this stuff?" he asked…placing the items in his hand back within the basket as he grabbed a box of the sweet candy…ripping it open as he placed his favorite candy upon his eager tongue. So into the delectable treat he quickly forgot about the felt box as he sprinkled another coating upon his tongue.

"I remembered that we ran advertising for a candy company located in Bethel Park a few years back. So I called them and asked them to make up the biggest basket filled with nothing but nerds…since I know how much you loved them as a kid. I remember you always had a box nearby…your pockets…your locker…you even kept them in your trapper keeper" he grinned…plucking the box from off of the stuffed toy nerd. "And then I got you this" with nervous measure he laid the box in Michael's outstretched hand…praying like hell that he wasn't pushing his luck to soon.

His hands trembling…Michael slowly opened the box…tears rolling down his cheeks once he laid his eyes upon the contents. "There beautiful Brian…just like we had in high school" his voice quivered as he reached down and removed the silver name bracelet with his and Brian's names on them. He recalled back to the days when he and Brian had exchanged name bracelets…but for the life of him he could not remember what had happened to the one that Brian had given to him all those years ago.

"There's an inscription on the back" Brian's own voice got the better of him as he tried to play it off and clear his throat.

"Best Friends…Lovers…Soul Mates…until the end of time. I love you for always…Brian" Michael read through his tears as he lunged forward into the waiting arms of the man he knew would be his for all eternity. "I love you Brian Kinney…so much" he rasped as he began to litter the also tearful mans face with love soaked kisses. "You have no idea how much I love you"

"I love you too Mikey…always have and always will" he sobbed…pulling his soon to be lover deep into his embrace. With tender movement Brian captured Michael's lips under his own…immediately drawn back to the very first strawberry flavored kiss they had shared as teenagers. He knew that he would never tire of the tasty kisses as he drew his Mikey even closer against his needful body…deepening the kiss with a delectable sweep of his tongue. His mind was swimming… his manliness beginning to take on a life of his own as he once again increased the intensity of their shared lip lock. He was falling and he was falling quickly into the abyss of pure want and need of the man he continued to hold within his arms. He knew that if he didn't stop things soon that everything that they were working towards was going to change in an instant. "Mikey…" he murmured against the insistent urgings of Michael's lips. "Mikey we have to stop" his murmuring continued as he pressed forward and inhaled the softness underneath his own. Lost once again in the sensation he demanded entrance into the warm cavern of his mouth…exploring every nook and cranny. "NO…" he cried out…wrenching himself backwards in an attempt to create a divide between the two of them.

"Brian?" Michael panted in confusion. "It's…its' ok. I'm ready" he gushed out…rushing towards the man he had been dying to make love to for as long as he could remember. "I'm ready to take our relationship onto the next step" With determined motions he wrapped his arms tightly around the slim waist of his best friend and soon to be lover. Closing his eyes he leaned up and kissed the man softly… but softly quickly turned into needful as he lost himself once again in the familiarness of his kiss. His hands became life forms of their own as they glided up the silken softness of his shirt…rounding over his shoulders as his expensive suit jacket slide to the floor behind him. Next to go was the tie…his mouth never once breaking the hold that he had on Brian's insistent lips. He longed to rip the beautifully tailored silk shirt from off of his body…but he controlled his urges as he slowly and tortuously undid every single button until his rippled chest lay heaving before him.

Brian's hands were not idle themselves as with precise measures he… with one fell swoop yanked Michael's knit shirt over his head. Tossing it to the floor in an instant those same hands began to caress the supple skin of his chest and shoulders. "Lets go to my room" he heard Michael sigh as he continued with his gentle exploration. Gentle however turned into needful once again as he grabbed onto Michael's hand as it laid upon his chest…tugging him into the darkened room. Giggles of excitement wafted from the two of them as they tumbled like teenagers onto the queen-sized bed. Hands explored…tongues and lips matched wits as they lay chest to chest… skin-to-skin. Needing more…Brian pinned his willful lover under the bulk of his frame. He wanted more…required more as he explored every line…nook and cranny of Michael's stunning body.

He was on fire…fires that threatened to explode into pure and unadulterated passion as he gave into the insistent urgings of the man lying atop him. His skin was damp with perspiration…heated to scorching degrees as a warm wet tongue and fiery hands traced…teased and tortured every bit of exposed skin. Closing his eyes he allowed the simple torture to bring him to heights he had only dreamed about when it came to Brian. He tried to control his cries of passion as the man that controlled his heart and soul…bit roughly into the tender skin of his neck…failing miserably as if on it's own his body arched up wanting more…demanding more.

Brian was in heaven as Michael's cries urged him on further but with a strength he didn't even know that he possessed he pulled away from the strapping body writhing underneath him.

"Bri…Brian?" Michael cried out questioningly as he knelt before him with a look he could not quite comprehend upon his chiseled face. Passion quickly turned to outright fear of what was to come next. The truth was that he knew what was about to come next…because it was the same thing that happened every time when things got more then a little out of control between the two of them. Fear turned into anger as memories of all the other times they had gotten to that exact same place rained over him…only to have Brian draw back and make light of it time and time again. "I knew it" he cried out in defeated upset as he attempted to push his way from off of the bed.

"You knew what Mikey" Brian asked puzzled…jerked from the daze he was in as he gazed at the perfection that was his lover and best friend's body.

"I knew you were gonna do this to me again" Michael bit out nastily as he once again attempted to move past the clearly stunned…then angered form of Brian.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean" Brian continued with his line of questioning at Michael as he grabbed onto his bare shoulders… hindering all attempts of escape.

"Let me go" Michael cried out…slamming his hands into the bare chest of the man he should have been making love too…instead of pulling away from.

"Not until you tell me what the fuck is wrong with you" Brian growled… letting up on the grip he had on Michael as he rubbed at the angry red spots blazing in the center of his chest.

"You are what the fuck is wrong" was his spite filled reply as he crossed his arms determinedly across his equally bare chest. "I knew you were gonna do this to me again…I just fucking knew it"

Brian could only stare at him dumbfounded…but then realization quickly dawned on him as he stared into eyes filled with anger…but twinged with rejected defeat. "Oh Mikey" he cried out…lunging forward as he brought the two of them back to their original position. "I love you so much and I wasn't rejecting you…not this time" he vowed truthfully. "I was just admiring that hot…tight little body of you and I guess that I got caught up in the shock of what is about to happen between us. It's been a long time coming hasn't it?" he questioned…already knowing the answer at the look of remembered upset the floated across Michael's handsome face.

"Yeah…" Michael replied softly…unable to look into Brian's eyes.

"Look Michael…I know that I have been shitty to you in the past. I know that I have led you on…only to pull back like a coward once things got too intense…but you have to trust me that things will be different now. I'm a different person then I was then…but at the same time you can't expect me to change over night. I have hid my feelings for you for so long that it has just become second nature to me…but I promise to do what I have to do to make sure that you always know how much I love you"

"Oh Brian…I know…I know how much you love me" Michael exclaimed as he rushed forward…locking his arms around Brian's neck…laying his head upon his heaving chest. "I just got so scared that you were going to reject me again. I guess that old habits die hard…on both of are parts huh" he chuckled uneasily as he continued to lie upon his chest… looking up into eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"Yeah…" was his simple response as he leaned down and placed a ghosted kiss across pouting lips spread out in a sad smile before him. "But…don't worry Mikey nothing…not even insecurities on either of our part is going to stop me from making love to you tonight" he shot a sexy grin Michael's way before rolling him onto his back.

"Oh really" Michael beamed back with a mischievous grin plastered across his face.

"Oh really…" was Brian's hurried reply as he stretched out across his body…capturing Michael's lips hungrily beneath his own. Insecurities vanished…Brian set to the task at hand. With nimble fingers…never once breaking the kiss he had possessed from Michael…he managed to undo the buttons of Michael's jeans.

"Your really to good at this" Michael chuckled fully winded…once he realized his jeans and briefs were located at the middle of his calf's. "But you seem to have too many clothes on now" With determined measure he pounced…knocking Brian onto his back before he had a chance to comprehend what had happened to him. He couldn't help the smile that crept across his face at the rush of air that escaped across pouty lips as he straddled Brian's waist…his hands resting upon the waist of his dress slacks.

"Mikey…"

"I really love you Brian" Michael cut in before Brian had a chance to continue. "I just wanted you to know that"

"I know Mikey…I know. I love you too….always have…"

"Always will" they finished together as Michael leaned over and kissed Brian tenderly upon his lips. Within seconds both men were nude as Michael began to do some exploring of his own. He knew the sight of Brian's body from head to toe…but that night…a night of firsts he planned to use other means of through exploration. It began with a heavy and heated kiss shared with the man that he knew he would love until the ends of time. Breaking for air…he furthered his exploration as he licked and nipped his way along the curved slender of his neck…biting playfully at the stern manly chin that he loved so much. His hands were not inactive as they blazed a trail across the sculptured tightness of his chest. He couldn't control an evil chuckle as he tweaked a sensitive nipple between his fingers… causing Brian to arch even further into his touch. Wanting nothing more then to give that man nothing but extreme pleasure he moved his way back up to his tempting mouth…scraping his nails across the same swollen nub as Brian cries echoed deep within his mouth. He knew that Brian needed more and who was he kidding he needed more too as he reluctantly broke their kiss of passion…tracing his tongue across the slope of his chest…the rigid abs of his stomach…stopping just short of his half masted member.

"Oh Jesus" Brian cried out in delirium as Michael graced him with a playful smile before wrapping the plumpness of his lips around his shaft. Coherent words were no longer accessible as he gave into the pleasureful torture that Michael seemed intent of bestowing upon his quickly hardening member. Never in his life had he felt as alive as when his Mikey was pleasuring him in such an extreme way. Sure he had been with lots of other men…hundredth if the truth be told…but none of them had ever made the hair on the back of his neck stand up… none of them made his toes curl into painful balled nubs. None of them put his senses into full overload as every sound…touch…sight caused him to cry out in animalistic pleasure. With every swipe of Michael's tongue…every suckle upon his heated dick his body came alive with bolts of pure lustful electricity. His ears were ringing from his own cries of passion and just when he thought that it couldn't get any better…with one final pass from his talented mouth he reached such heights that had never reached with any other person before.

Michael could not get enough of the sights and the sounds of his lover as he arched off of the bed with each thrust of his tongue and mouth. The soft moans…the thunderous howls of ecstasy as he gave into his bidding filling his mouth with the spoils of his victory. He couldn't help the silly smile that plastered its way across his face…but it turned into a look of shock as Brian slinked his hand up under his armpit…literally yanking him up onto the bed besides him. "My turn" he heard Brian growl lustfully as he captured a quick kiss before delving down below the equator.

He tried to cry out…tried to voice the feeling of ultimate pleasure that Brain was laving upon his hyper sensitive penis…but none came. No…he couldn't speak…could barely breath as the heated moistness of his mouth blazed a fiery trail up in slow and torturous measures…and then down with a quick and slippery movement that had him hovering upon a cloud of air in a second. He felt as if he was floating. Floating above the hemisphere on a wave of ultimate pleasurement. Sex…not even with Ben had ever been as exhilarating and primal as it was with Brian that night and as he continued to make love to his pulsing manhood…he knew that he could never allow another to touch him in the way that Brian was touching him on that very night.

He wanted to enjoy the intense sensations that Brian was instilling deep within him…wanted to ride out the wave of passion that was building with extreme velocity within his manly member…but he knew that he could not. He didn't know if it was his skill or the fact that it had been too many years in the making…but within mere moments of Brian's oral gratification he gave into the orgasm that inhabited his entire being. Puffs of excited breath expelled over kiss-swollen lips as he closed his eyes and relished the after effects of what Brian had just done to him…however Brian had other ideas. "Oh but we are so far from done" he heard him chuckle as he slinked up his sweat induced body.

"Oh yeah" was his winded reply as he leaned up upon his elbows… meeting Brian half way. "What else you got it mind" he teased… licking a path across pouting lips salty with his own essence.

"I'm going to fuck you Mikey" was his declaration as he gazed into dark pools of chocolate laced with surprise and outright need. "I'm going to fuck you and then I am going to fuck you again…and again and again" he promised…forcing Michael to lay down as he pressed the tip of his finger into his chest.

Who was Michael to try and detour the only man that he had truly ever loved with his heart and his soul away from what he wanted most. "Make love to me Brian" he cried out as Brian began to explore every exposed bit of flesh across the expanse of his abdomen and chest. He watched as Brian literally flew from off the bed…ripping open the top drawer of the dresser as it crashed loudly to the floor below. "You break it…you buy it" he laughed as he continued to watch him search frantically for the necessary materials for their coupling. His heart warmed with such love as Brian broke away from his task for the briefest of moments with a look of pure suregrin plastered across his face. "Now get that beautiful ass over here and fuck me" Michael demanded as continued to lie back on his elbows waiting for what was about to happen next.

"I love it when you talk dirty" Brian laughed happily once he located what he was looking for…springing back upon the bed as he pinned Mikey onto his back. Doubt quickly inhabited him mind as he lay atop his best friend and soon to be lover…but it was gone in a flash as Michael gazed up at him with love filled eyes. "I love you Michael" he spoke in a whispered vow as he leaned forward and kissed him deeply and thoroughly as if to show just how much. Michael didn't say a word…but he didn't' have to because with one final glance into his ever expressive eyes he knew exactly what he was thinking and feeling. With precise measures he positioned himself for what they were about to share as he guided Michael's lean legs over his shoulders. As one hand rested upon a slightly quivering thigh the other held onto his own trembling penis as he positioned it at a once thought forbidden place.

Leaning over the stealth form of his lover…he quickly covered his lips under his own as he invaded his tightness. He swallowed down the small cry of pain that expelled from Michael's throat once he was fully sheathed. Never once did he break their shared lip lock as he began to set the pace needed to bring them towards the depths of the purest pleasure possible. He knew he was being greedy but he didn't care as he continued to inhale every breath…every sigh and every outcry coming from his lover's throat. He could feel its warmness as it traveled down his own throat…could feel it as it rested deep within the recess of his stomach…surging throughout his entire body. Guilt began to consume him as he attempted to pull back just enough to give Michael a chance to draw cleansing air into his lungs…but as Michael wrapped his arms tightly around his neck…drawing him back he quickly sent his guilt packing. Increasing the rate of friction he brought the two of them closer to their impending orgasm…their bodies drenched with perspiration. Reaching down between their sweat slicked bodies…he wrapped his hand around Michael's re-awakened member…still wettened with his juices and began to set a rhythm.

"Brian" Michael cried out powerfully…arching as far off the bed as possible in order to gain greater contact with the body suspended above him. "Oh Jesus Brian" he cried out again as Brian released his imprisoned lips. He couldn't believe the streaks of electricity that blazed up and down his body as Brian continued to fuck him with his glorious dick as well as with his perfectly skilled hands. The feeling of floatation once again inhabited him as he reached out and pulled lips that he would never tire of tasting back towards his hungry mouth. The kiss was passionate and unadulterated as the two of them swapped heated and slippery spit. "B-R-I-A-N" his final cry of ecstasy echoed deep within the heated confines of Brian's mouth as he arched his body forward before coating his stomach with his semen.

His cries were loud and long as Brain unlatched his mouth from the grimacing one of Michael's as he increased the pistoning power of his lovemaking. Gripping on tightly to Michael's straining thighs…he continued to pound unmercifully into the tightness of his tight hole… quickly losing himself into one of the most powerful orgasm he had ever experienced in his lifetime. Completely spent…he fell like jelly like upon the equally heaving form of the man pinned below him. No words were spoken as they clung almost painfully to each other. Breaths were ragged…heart rates staggering as they continued to adjust to the newly remodeled relationship spread out before them. Exhaustion coated the two of them as they gave into its urgings…only to jerk back into the world of reality at the loud outcry coming from behind them.

"OMG…" They heard Emmett cry out in complete shock…hands covering his openly stunned mouth.

"Jesus Em" Michael screeched as he frantically searched for the elusive comforter in order to hide their nakedness.

"OMG…they finally did it" Emmett exclaimed…his shock vanished as he jumped up and down like an excited child. "OMG…Teddy can you believe it…they finally did it"

"Yes…now the rest of the world can go on as we know it" Ted replied snugly as he grabbed Emmett's swinging arms and attempted to drag him away for the scene playing out before him. "Now I am sure that the two of them would like to be left alone"

"Alone…oh no" he shrieked once again as he bounded over to the two huddling men…falling across the bed once he did. "Details…I want every gory detail" he pressed on…making it painfully obvious that he had no intentions of moving from his spot until he did.

"Beat it girlie man" Brian growled…pulling a fully blushing Michael tighter within in the protection of his embrace. "Or we won't just tell you about it…you will get a floor show as well"

"Brian" Michael chuckled in shock as he smacked playfully at his lovers glistening chest. "Em…please. We will talk to you and Ted later"

"With all the gory details" Emmett reminded as he finally allowed Ted to drag his reluctant form out of the bedroom.

"You do know that by this time tomorrow everyone in Liberty Avenue will know about us" Michael spoke on a serious note as he pulled away from the heat of Brian's body.

"Who gives a shit what they think" he replied truthfully as he reached up and cupped Michael's cheek tenderly with his hand. "I love you Michael and I want Liberty Avenue…Pittsburgh…Hell…the whole United States to know just how much I love you" Slowly he leaned up and placed a slow and lingering kiss upon his grinning lips.

"I love you too" Michael whispered against their softness as he allowed Brian to lead him back to where he belonged…deep within his embrace forever.

Epilogue…

"I don't think that this is such a good idea" Michael whined beside his partner as they drive in near silence towards their destination. "Let's just forget about it. This was a bad idea…"

"Mikey…we're here" Brian broke in…grinning madly as he leaned over and kissed the love of his life quickly before racing out of the driver's side door. "Come on pumpkin butt" he teased…calling Michael by the pet name that he had branded Michael with after the first of their five years together.

"You know I hate it when you call me that" he lied…trying to control the goofy smile that was threatening to cover his face.

"I know…I know" Brian laughed light heartedly…smacking him upon his gorgeous ass before taking took Michael's hand…assisting him out of the car. Together they walked in silence as they made their way towards the sounds of wafting music before them.

"Name…" they heard a women speak boredly as she held a black marker poised in her hand…ready to write their names on the stack of name tags in front of her.

"Brian Kinney and Michael Novotny" Brian spoke proudly as he gave Michael's hand a playful squeeze.

"Didn't think that the two of you would have the nerve to show your face since the last reunion" the women…whom neither of them could recall from their high school days sneered.

"What and miss the opportunity to mingle with former classmates who have nothing better to do then bitch about other classmates…never" Brian quipped as he grabbed the marker from her hand…writing he and Michael's name upon two separate name badges…leaving the women open mouthed and speechless in their wake.

"You are horrible" Michael giggled…laying his head upon Brian's shoulder as they made their way deeper into the overly crowded room.

"But you love me anyways" he retorted giddily as he leaned over and stole a quick kiss.

"Forever…" Michael vowed into the softness of Brian's jacket sleeve as he gazed up at his man. For the next several hours the two mingled with their former schoolmates and teachers. They relived the years of their youth through pictures and old yearbooks as they marveled at just how far they had come from those days of when. Michael couldn't keep the smile off of his face as he watched his lover of five years mingle with their old friends…but his smile was marred with suspicion for he knew that Brian was up to something. The thing was that he had no idea as to what it was. He knew Brian inside and out…and even though Brian hated to admit it…Michael always knew when something was amiss with him.

"Come on Mikey…lets dance" Brain whispered in his ear…breaking him from this thoughts as he led him towards the dance floor. Closing his eyes he allowed Brian to envelope him within the strong warmness of his arms as the sounds of "Every rose has its thorn" By Poison played loudly in the background. He loved the way that their bodies swayed in sync to the music…loved the way that the heat from his body melted deep within his own as he continued to lose himself in the sensations. "I'll be right back" Brian excused himself once again forcing Michael out of his dream world and back into the reality. He watched as he walked over to the D J…watched as he spoke intently to the man…smiling broadly when the man gave him what appeared to be a nod of approval.

"What are you up to?" Michael questioned as Brian once again pulled him deep within his loving arms.

"Me…up to something…never" Brian laughed…avoiding answering the question by kissing the man he had a surprise for upon his cute up turned nose.

"Ladies and Gentlemen I have a special request sent out to our very own Michael Novotny from his loving partner Brian Kinney. Michael could only stare up at Brian dumb founded as all the other dancing couples around them exited the dance floor…until it was only the two of them.

"Brian…" Michael whispered…not able to say much more as Brian gathered him even deeper into his embrace.

"Just listen to the words Mikey…they will tell you all you need to know" Brian whispered cryptically against his ear.

Taking Brian's heed…he allowed himself to be absorb himself within the music as the two of them continued to dance to the beautiful words.

***How can I convince you what you see is real
Who am I to blame you for doubting what you feel
I was always reaching', you were just a girl I knew
I took for granted the friend I have in you

I was living for a dream, loving for a moment
Taking on the world, that was just my style
Now I look into your eyes
I can see forever, the search is over
You were with me all the while***

Tears shimmered in his eyes as he listened to the words of Brian's truth through the words of the group "Survivor" Tears of happiness… tears of remembered pain and tears of the promise of a bright and loving future with the man he would have waited a hundred years for or more.

***Can we last forever, will we fall apart
At times it's so confusing, these questions of the heart
You followed me through changes and patiently you'd wait
Till I came to my senses through some miracle of fate

I was living for a dream, loving for a moment
Taking on the world, that was just my style
Now I look into your eyes
I can see forever, the search is over
You were with me all the while

Now the miles stretch out behind me
Loves that I have lost
Broken hearts lie victims of the game
Then good luck it finally struck
Like lightning from the blue
Every highway leading me back to you***

He could feel Brian's breath hitch deep within his chest as he laid his head upon it. Could feel the tears land upon his spiky tresses as he too allowed the truth of the words to overcome him.

***Now at last I hold you, now all is said and done
The search has come full circle
Our destinies are one
So if you ever loved me
Show me that you give a damn
You'll know for certain
The man I really am

I was living for a dream, loving for a moment
Taking on the world, that was just my style
Then I touched your hand, I could hear you whisper
The search is over, love was right before my eyes***

Slowly the two broke apart as the song…Brian's promise to Michael came to an end. Despite that fact that he didn't want them to…the tears rained down his reddened face as he lost himself within the dark depths of Brian's eyes. Neither spoke a word as they shared a private moment between the two of them as their former classmates looked on. "I love you Michael" Brian finally broke the silence as he gathered the still unspeaking mans hand into his own. Never breaking contact with the warmness he knelt before his stunned love as he reached into his pocket with his free hand…pulling out a tiny velvet box.

Michael's heart began to beat wildly within his chest as Brian continued to kneel before him. Tears of fear…tears of happiness blazed even harder down his cheeks as he waited for the love of his life to speak. "Michael…I have loved you from the first moment that I met you right here in these very halls. I loved you and yet I was so afraid to pursue it for fear of never being enough for you" he continued to speak…letting go of his hand as he opened the box holding it out before him. "But I'm not afraid anymore Michael. I now realize how stupid I was to let so many years pass us by…but I can guarantee you that if you give me the honor of becoming my husband I will never waste another minute of our lives without letting you know just how much you mean to me. So Michael…from the bottom of my heart…will you marry me?" With no need to even think about it…he fell to his knees before his love…knocking them both to the floor behind Brian as he wrapped his arms tightly around his neck. "So I take it that this is a yes" he laughed through his own tears as he forced the wayward man from off of him.

"Yes…Yes…Yes…Oh god yes" Michael nearly screamed with pure and utter happiness as fought like hell to fall back into Brian's arms… frustration growing as Brian continue to fight him off. However… frustration disappeared in an instant as Brian placed the glittering gold ring upon his finger.

"I love you Michael…" Brian whispered on winded breath as he fought to control his skyrocketing emotions.

"I love you too Brian…with all my heart and soul" was Michael's equally emotional response as they shared a slow and beautiful kiss of love and pure understanding. Oblivious to the shouts of approval and applause the two men removed themselves from off of the floor as together they made their way towards their future together as husband and husband.

The End…