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Silence was something precious in their lives.
Musa had always known silence was not something usual, nor easy to get, and thus she had cherished it since she could learn how to say the word.
After the first day on Alfea, she had sat on her new bed and had literally uttered the word “goodbye” to the absence of noise.
She had thought that was the worst she would have to bear in her committed sentimental relationship with silence, but she had been proven wrong.
War had been a chaotic full orchestra in which every instrument made it its purpose to fall out of rhythm. She had been sure her mind had been a breath away from giving up on her, and even now, she wasn’t sure how she would have ended if her training hadn’t intensified to avoid her brain melting.
But a war didn’t simply stop one day, one second. It dragged through the debris, carried the toll of actions and settled the burden of rebirth on foreign shoulders. Win a war you were losing and you get to skin your hands while rebuilding the shattered remains of everything.
So, the first time she had been able to breathe after the war, she had said “goodbye” to the absence of mere sound .
Ever since, her days were filled with masses of people, nervous turmoil and the quiet, underlying expectation of something coming at them from the sky seeking their deaths. She didn’t know if that last feeling would ever go away. It had been months and she still felt the need to throw a glance behind her to see if she was being followed, or pushing her powers to check for a threat before turning a corner. She still had trouble hushing her mind to sleep and she still knew that silence had left her for good.
Sometimes even her music was just unwanted noise.
These days, she was keen on just one sound around her and it was Riven’s.
It had more to do with Riven’s incessant storm of emotions and less with his voice, even though some days Musa wished it was otherwise.
He had fallen more silent lately.
She could easily affirm she saw his mouth around a joint more often than she saw it enouncing words.
She didn’t mind, she understood. To some extent, at least.
She knew he had so much more on his shoulders than she could feel on her own.
She just wished the only sound she actually wanted to hear weren’t the one she heard the least.
They weren’t the best version of themselves, they were chipped and jagged at the edges, lost in this trying world of ashes. There were weeks in which they didn’t really talked to each other, even though they were always there, side by side.
There was a large amount of work to do to pick up after the war and, ironically, the return to classes were only complicating the return to normality. There was no normality anymore, she felt.
Thus, they created their own.
Musa liked to think about it as an insulated bubble or a safe house island in the middle of the ocean. But it had been Riven’s idea and he had called it a “break” while snapping a branch in two.
A break from the war.
A break from rebuilding.
A break from trying.
A break from everything .
Every Saturday of every week, they walked up to an old, thick oak in the forest on Alfea’s outskirts that Riven had shown her long ago.
They hadn’t missed a day of it and that had created a sort of silent agreement that they wouldn’t.
Saturday was a popular day, so when plans had started to pop up in conversations, they had just looked at each other. It wasn’t an obligation, not even a should . They just shared the same priority. A priority they would sacrifice other things for.
It was the only thing they could have for themselves and it had become clear that they needed it.
They arrived at the beginning of the evening and stayed until the very last minute curfew would allow them.
Riven sat with his back on the heavy roots of the tree and his legs sprawled on the ground before him.
Musa threw herself on the grass and laid her head on Riven’s lap before he could draw his legs up. She liked to stay like that for the first part of the evening.
Maybe they would talk about something banal, maybe not.
Their glances would meet and settled there for as long as they needed and then they would return to observing nature.
When the sunset light had slithered up them both and dissolved into stars above the tree tops, Musa waited until Riven looked at her to give him a smile and making him leaned down to kiss her.
His lips were slightly chapped but his movements were soft. Heavy with intent and slow with adoration, drawing a confession over her mouth. Their kisses were not usually like this, they tended to be more electric and fiercer. But Musa liked to know that every week, she would have, at least, one of these slow kisses.
She watched him lick his lips absentmindedly when they broke apart and she grinned widely at him as she rose her head a little to put her headphones over her ears.
She closed her eyes and breathed in. Clean, cold air refreshing the inside of her lungs and leaving a calm feeling on her chest.
Silence greeted her mind.
It was more of a pseudo-silence as it would always be with Riven besides her, but —out here, in real silence, with the warmth of his body under her neck and the taste of his lips on hers— his emotions were like the soothing murmur of a storm or a river’s course.
She sighted contently.
Riven always took her headphones as a cue for starting to work on a joint. His fingers moving methodically over the bag, rolling the cylinder carefully and entertaining himself moulding it until it was perfect.
She opened her eyes when she felt his arms pause and he looked down at her as he licked the end of the paper. He winked at her before the tip of his tongue hid back in his mouth and he closed the joint.
She sent him a smirk and accommodated her head further up his leg, feeling the cool leather of his jacket resting on her cheek.
She knew he would not smoke it now. He never did.
He just fumbled with it, keeping his fingers occupied. Sometimes he would tuck it between his lips and he would roll it from side to side of his mouth; but never light it.
She had the suspicion it was because of her. Perhaps he had realised how much she relished the fresh forest air.
Lost in her thoughts, Musa’s breath caught when she felt Riven’s hand slowly rest at the base of her neck.
He was looking directly at her and his eyes were the brightest tone of green in the entire forest. The glints in his gaze were swimming with warmth and intensity, and sincerity shaped an unconscious smile over his lips.
Musa’s heart suddenly pounded against her ribs, a tidal wave of an emotion drowning her.
Sometimes she thought that her powers were developing a mind reading aptitude because she could swear she heard an “I love you” in Riven’s voice, but his lips never moved.
Her smile in return made him blink and widen his own, looking away, and Musa closed her eyes again with the feeling of his fingers caressing her skin, his thumb running the length of her throat and tracing her jaw.
She would assure to anyone asking that this was the thing in her life that kept her going, kept her sane.
This was the thing that kept her happiness high and tangible.