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Yamada Nanami POV
I was shocked when Ikumi put up her hand beside me. I was even more shocked when she said she would go out with me. My panic was really obvious but I wasn’t rejecting her! …Technically, I guess I was but not really on purpose or because I hate her or anything like that. I was just really really surprised! She seem okay for the rest of the shooting but a wall of some kind had gone up.
After the taping, everyone was gathering their things to go home and I heard someone come up behind me. When I turned around, it was Ikumi who was already back in her normal clothes.
“Ah, Nanami I’m sorry for saying something weird today.” Ikumi’s voice was high and she was speaking fast. She didn’t meet my eyes either which hurt but it hurt more that I made her feel like she had to apologise and it was because I reacted weirdly that we couldn’t just talk easily like usual.
Actually, I was starting to panic a little myself, because how could I fix this? I didn’t want things to be strange between us. She was starting to blink faster, oh no, she was going to cry… because I hadn’t said anything yet? Ikumi’s a crybaby after all.
“It wasn’t weird.” I didn’t know what else to say but I did grab her hand. It was out of instinct because she was clenching both and I don’t if I thought if she relaxed her hands then everything else would relax too? Maybe.
“Do you want to go get something to drink?” I ventured because a few other members, mostly senpai, had glanced over a few times. “We can talk some more…?”
Ikumi made a small sound of agreement and nodded, letting go of my hand to grip the straps of backpack. Oh she was ready to go but I was still…
“I’ll wait for you outside while you finish packing your things then.” She turned and left, following some other departing members out the door.
At least she wasn’t making a face like she was going to cry anymore. She seemed more cheerful as she left but maybe that’s just me.
Nakano Ikumi POV
“I really like Yamada.”
I said it, in front of everyone… I wonder if it will be cut. Even if it isn’t, they probably think it was just a joke. Nanami probably thought I was just kidding too but she seemed more nervous for the rest of the show’s shooting. Even though I tried to keep acting normal, my stomach didn’t feel good, it was all clenching up just thinking about what to say to Nanami after. Maybe I really should take it back, be all ‘haha, I can’t believe you took that seriously’ or something and then we’d just get along like always.
But no… I really did mean it and I was very happy when I got to say it out loud. After the taping, I changed as fast as I could and just dumped everything into my backpack. There was no way I could risk Nanami leaving before I got to talk to her. Even if she probably didn’t like me back in that way, I needed to know that we could still be friends. She had seemed so uncomfortable when I’d thoughtlessly confessed. With everything up in the air, it felt like if I couldn’t talk to her I would probably die from anxiety, questions, awkwardness… everything. But I didn’t know if she was okay with me liking her like that or if I would have to pretend I didn’t feel that way at all.
I spotted her still putting away her things and made my way over. I told myself to be calm and I took a slow breath but it felt as though my chest was gonna burst.
“Ah, Nanami I’m sorry for saying something weird today.” I managed. ‘Don’t hate me’, I thought. Just the thought of her hating me though made me feel awful and she wasn’t saying anything so surely she did. I dug my nails into my palm to try distract myself from wanting to cry.
“It wasn’t weird.” I was so surprised, even in a bustling changing room full of members, her silence had been deafening and then it broke. Suddenly my hand was warm, she was holding it! What did this mean? She asked if I wanted to go out for a drink - of course I did! I was positively humming but I settled back on gripping the straps of my backpack and appearing collected. After all, a talk could mean anything.