Work Text:
Professor Caleb Widogast of the Soltryce Academy has a hot, floaty boyfriend. All of the Dynasty’s spies can confirm this, and yet it seems too easy to be true – surely the former Shadowhand of their nation, spymaster and traitor and impeccable liar, wouldn’t be so bad at hiding from his enemies? It must be a trap. It has to be.
Besides, with what the Dynasty now knows, there are surely those on the Cerberus Assembly who would want Essek, no longer of Den Thelyss, dead. The question then remains, why have they made no move, even when the one who could spill their secrets and compromise their irreproachable titles is living in their capital city, right under their noses? Do they know something that the Dynasty is not aware of? Have they come to some sort of accord?
After months of careful watching, waiting and gathering of information, the Dynasty is as puzzled as ever. There is no reason that a war criminal, wanted by both sides, should be able to float around Rexxentrum in only the barest of disguises, doing grocery shopping of all things.
So the Dynasty makes a move.
The assassins disappear without trace. The next week, all of their vessels are inexplicably blocked from docking in Nicodranas, disrupting trade most inconveniently. It’s unrelated, surely, but it’s bad luck all the same.
The second time, the Dynasty tries for kidnapping. The next day, the highly-trained band of mercenaries they hired for the job reappear on the doorstep of the Lucid Bastion, transformed into kittens and trying fruitlessly to escape a cardboard box. Two weeks later, several ancient and valuable volumes on Transmutation are stolen away from the Marble Tomes Conservatory by a “force of unstoppable ninjas”. The theft can’t be traced, and since it’s not Dunamancy it’s not a political concern, but it still feels pointed, somehow.
The third attempt to bring in Essek – he’s still using his real name in public, how is he getting away with this? – results in all five highly-trained warriors reporting back with a rare form of syphilis. Also, over the next three weeks, every holy temple to the Luxon within the bounds of Rosohna is defaced with phallic imagery in the most obscene locations. It takes a long time to remove all the dicks.
The fourth time, the assassins are better prepared than ever. No one in the Dynasty is quite sure what happens, why it doesn’t go to plan, but there’s a huge fire in the Shimmer Ward of Rexxentrum and none of the assassins are ever heard from again. Widogast and his war criminal vanish, and for a while the Dynasty assumes that they were both caught in the blaze, but one week later they’re back, moving into a new house and continuing as if everything’s perfectly normal, although the observant among the spies may notice that they seem to be spending less time apart than previously. Over the next month, eight Dynasty ships are beset by pirates and all their goods stolen, their crews strangely unharmed but for the inane tattoos bestowed upon an unlucky few. It’s not hard to start seeing a pattern here.
The fifth time, the task force doesn’t even get close. That’s the brief version of the report they give, two months later, when they’re found wandering the Savalierwood claiming that only three days have passed and they were on the outskirts of Rexxentrum just yesterday. A day after they return, a familiar figure teleports into the Lucid Bastion requesting an audience with the Bright Queen. Allura Vysoren is unwaveringly polite, as she explains how the Arcana Pansophical has found themselves in possession of some very interesting research, which they have no intention of returning to the Dynasty but are happy to keep under wraps as long as the Dynasty remains courteous to them. Neither Widogast nor the former Shadowhand are so much as hinted at, but Leylas Kryn can put two and two – or perhaps five and five – together. Perhaps it’s time to cut their losses and bring this game to an end.
Essek and Caleb are never bothered by the Dynasty again.
