Work Text:
„Dammit!“ belted Tom as he missed his desired target in the form of his beloved colleague Semir with his Nerf gun yet again, blaming his suddenly sore arm for his failure. It was the time of the year when there was next to none work to do, except for paperwork, so they all collectively decided to compete against each other by having a Nerf gun war, because what else were they supposed to do under these circumstances, and whoever ends up being the winner of this grand climatic battle, is given the opportunity to become the chief for the upcoming month, being able to do whatever they desire, leaving their colleagues with an assload of papeprwork to fill out and an even bigger load of coffees to bring to the forementioned temporary chief. Even though Andre has managed to win this competition for 2 years straight already, nobody was willing to give up their hope and still fought with all of their might to try and claim the reward.
„What, having trouble concentrating today? Is it perhaps because your mind’s preparing for all of the paperwork you’re gonna have to fill out after you lose?“ shouted Andre after firing the rest of his foamy magazine at his poor colleagues who have managed to stay in the game until now, when they’ve met their inevitable mildly painful demise. Now it was just the three of them along with the chief’s assistant Ule, who’s been on the defensive side the whole time, but apparently it’s been working out just fine for the green haired woman, who was currently cowering behind a flipped over Nerf bullet infested desk.
Semir, who has spent half the time reloading his own Nerf gun after dropping all of his bouncy ammo all over the floor because Tom bumped into him at one point and didn’t even apologise for making him undergo this struggle, sent Andre a pleading look, obviously telling him to go easy on him, but little did he know that Andre‘s been planning on doing just that all along since he loves Semir with all of his might and can’t believe he hasn’t noticed yet, especially since Andre’s supposed to be the oblivious one, maybe Semir is taking his revenge on him by doing this? Surely he would‘ve just shot Andre already and made him quite literally suffer for the next month if he wanted to do that, since Andre can’t fill out paperwork to save his life. Then again, apparently Semir really wants him to suffer slowly and keep giving him a hard time, but Andre’s having none of that andhas finally decided to interfere.
He proceeded to lean over to Semir, who was just one flipped over desk away, readying himself to snatch his prey by the nape of his neck, but alas, Semir has managed to reload his deadly weapon and pointed it straight at Tom, who managed to dodge the bullet at the last moment before he took an exceptionally precise shot at Semir himself.
Andre couldn’t just stand by and watch Semir get shot while he was so close to him so he decided to take action, refusing to miss his opportunity to save his damsel in distress, launching himself between Semir and the bullet, seemingly in slow motion. However, before the bullet could hit its desired target, a large cloud of yellow smoke appeared out of thin air right in front of Semir and Andre, who was still moving protectively in front of Semir ready to take the shot and sacrifice it all for his soon to be lover, revealing a small pale figure of a man.
Once the smoke had dissipated, a very accurate copy of Semir wearing a kimono appeared. The copy looked at all four of them with its seemingly dead white eyes and exclaimed in a high pitched, echoey voice: „Who has just tried to harm the mortal copy of myself?“ Without thinking, Andre, Semir and all of their supposedly dead colleagues pointed at Tom, who was currently contemplating if he was awake or asleep and merely dreaming.
„Who-or what the hell are you?“ Asked Tom, his apparent disbelief painted all over his suddenly pale face. The room suddenly appeared to feel colder, making Semir unconsciously scoot closer to Andre, not because he was too cold, but obviously because he just found working in a team of ast least two people better, because why else would he be glued to his colleague holding on for dear life. Andre accepted it as a green light to finally grab Semir by the nape of his neck to ensure him that he was safe, even though he himself had no idea what was going on at the moment, but was ready to throw hands as soon as the ghost thing would move even a step closer to them. Nevertheless, he was glad the uncannily Semir looking thing was casting all of its attention at Tom instead of them.
„I am Semtex, the guardian of pure souls. I was assigned by the higher forces to take care of Semir Gerkhan, because they said so. So now, you filthy man thing, please explain your reason to hurt this innocent creature right before everyone’s eyes, or you will meet the terrible fate that awaits you.“ Stated the mysteroius figure, staring right through Tom with its piercing lifeless eyes.
„W-we’re just playing our annual Nerf competition, it’s nothing serious, see?“ said Tom after nearly recovering from this sudden event in false belief that the ghost-like creature would leave them alone right before firing a bullet at Semtex, which appeared to be a very bad idea, for the creature started making peculiar noises and sending flashing lights all over the office as if gathering all of the universe’s darkest powers, but that didn’t last long because Ule, the miracle worker she’s always been, has managed to shoot a rahter pointy foamy bullet right into the creature’s temple, making it hiss in theatrical pain, only for it to avert its attention from Tom to the little bullet which fell onto the ground and kept on bouncing after it made impact with its head, Semtex was seemingly pondering why it was still alive.
„What was that? Explain why I did not get hurt by this pathetic rocket looking thing!“ Yelled Semtex, sending a fresh wave of hurricane-like freezing wind all over the office, sending Tom and Ule flying into the nearest wall, having Andre taking an extra firm grip on Semir before he could too be blown away, because after all, he is a very tiny man. The only sentence Tom could muster before giving in to his concussion inducing experience and passing out was: „Well at least this thing knows what a rocket is, so we’re alright, right?.“. Semtex hissed in response and seemed to be preparing for another attack, but, it was then that Semir has decided that this was just too much madness to handle and he had to have a say in this, because after all, the creature was a very accurate copy of himself and it claimed to be there to protect him, but Andre was faster and pressed his palm over Semir’s mouth before he could aggravate the creature even further. Andre knew Semtex would rock their shit once Semir would move, because he cannot handle things diplomatically even if it meant saving all mankind. Then, after Tom stopped mumbling nonsence in his sleep and Andre successfully prevented Semir from having any oxygen intake, Semtex turned around, facing Andre, stating in its very echoey voice: „Let go of him.“ Andre looked at it in disbelief, asking Semtex if it was alright in the head with his facial expression, because there was absolutely no way he was going to let go of him. Semir suddenly nudged Andre, getting his hand off of his mouth and going into a heroic mood, saying „You don’t have to do this, I’ll take care of it. After all, it’s basically me, so I can get rid of it myself.“ Andre didn’t even acknowledge what Semir said because even he knew too well Semir could not in fact take care of it. „You’d trip over a desk and fall right in front of it, it’d tear you right up, so just stay down.“ shot Andre back at him, sparing a quick glance at Semir before turning back to the ghostly creature, nearly getting lost in Semir‘s perfectly smooth complexion, but being able to withstand it in order to protect him. All of the other coworkers are long gone, lying on the floor pretending to be dead and showing no signs of offering help in this once in a lifetime predicament they found themselves in.
After a short staring contest with Semtex, Andre decided that there was only one way to get out of this situation by distracting the creature, as well as him gaining something from it, so he took Semir’s terrified face into his hands, pressing a tight kiss onto his lips, expecting to receive no reaction since Semir has never taken the iniciative in giving Andre a clear sign, let alone a mere clue about having feelings for him, but all of his negative thoughts came to a halt when he was met with a very hungry and passionate kiss in return, surprising him pleasantly. Semir proceeded to get a tight grip on Andre’s gorgeously styled hair that everyone in existence is jealous of, nearly tearing it out in the heat of the moment, deepening the kiss even further. both of them got into it so deeply they forgot they were in this seemingly drug induced dream-like situation, because one can’t make this up.
There was a long moment filled with nothing but the sound of the two new lovebirds kissing like it’s the only thing they’ve ever learned to do, the moment was long enough to wake Tom, Ule and some of the other unfortunate coworkers up out of their brief slumber. All of them started watching the scene unfold before them, silently hoping kissing would be all they’d do in this moment. Semtex was left speechless, just observing what the people around him were doing, realising that none of them did in fact mean to do his assigned human to protect any harm. He pondered for a moment when, with another wave of yellow smoke, he finally boomed: „Enough!“ everyone turned to Semtex, shocked, unknowing what it’s going to do next. Andre pulled away from Semir’s soft lips, upset that he was robbed of this precious moment. Semir was still in disbelief as to what has just occured, left feeling and looking as flustered as ever, unable to meet Andre’s piercing gaze at the moment.
„Is it... blushing?“ asked Ule carefully from where she was standing between a wall and a table in case Semtex decides to go on a windy rampage again. „No idea,“ answered Tom, „anyways, why’s its piss coloured smoke rising?“ Because it was indeed emanating further and further across the entire office, enveloping everyone in the odorless yellow cloud.
Everyone except for Andre started screaming, because after all, he is the manliest man of them all, proceeding to shout threateningly at Semtex. „What do you want then huh? You’ve already taken away our fun and our moment claiming you’re protecting Semir, so please do tell us before I run out of patience.“
Semtex looked at him, completely flabbergasted and still mildly blushing, stating „Fine. I... was wondreing if I could join you guys, since you all appeared to be having so much fun before I showed up.“. Nobody expected that from the ghost, but they all noddes simultaneously in agreement, because it'd be plain stupid of them to reject this mysterious entity floating about in their office. Semtex apparently didn’t care about what the others thought though, for he kept his colourless stare on Semir, who hasn’t reacted to anything yet, still speechless from the kiss that happened earlier. „I mean.. I guess? There are spare guns over in the changing room there.“ Semir pointed at the place in question, watching the ghost disappear into the room and come back with his very own Nerf gun, seemingly having figured out the rules already, poiting the weapon at the remaining four officers who haven’t pretendet to be dead out of fear yet.
„Oh I’m having none of that, Ule, I’m sorry.“ Said Tom before shooting his colleague, who fell to the ground with a gasp, not expecting this kind of betrayal from one of her most favourite coworkers, who was currently celebrating his first and only direct hit of the day. „Now, it’s showtime.“ Exclaimed Tom, readying to reload his gun, quickly coming to a realisation he’s got no bullets left to shoot and visibly panicking after seeing Semtex’s gun aiming right into the dead center of his forehead, taking the shot.
The bullet made a distinct ‚bonk‘ noise, sending Tom flaing backwards, yelling that this shouldn’t be allowed since Semtex joined the game at the very last moment, but to no avail, for Andre was standing protectively in front of Semir, waiting for Semtex to make his move so Andre could outsmart him. And that he did, because he grabbed one of Herzberger’s stink bombs, throwing it at Semtex while plugging his nose.
It was then when Semir came back from his stupor to shout „Andre, you’ve gotta unlock it first! Here!“ Proceeding to hand Andre the alredady unlocked grenade, he didn’t even pay attention to Andre’s grateful look, even though it was the rarest and purest thing a person can only see once in their lifetime. As soon as Andre threw the stinky load into the middle of the room everyone in the office immediately began to retreat, for they did not want to spend the rest of the day getting the stinky smell off of themselves.
Andre was looking forward to getting his revenge by enveloping the ghost in the smell, but a mere second before the blast was supposed to happen Semtex went „Nooo screw this, y’all ugly anyways.“ Proceeding to disappear before anyone could beat him up for that disgustingly false insult, terrible smell or not, that was just rude. After the smoke has dissipated and all of the building’s windows had been open, they all celebrated the two winners, Andre and Semir, who have managed to survive this great battle, they ultimately decided to give Semir the win as well since they had to go through this unbelieveable ordeal, choosing not to summon the rude Semir looking ghost again.
After about half an hour of celebrating the winners‘ success and the losers‘ failure, Semir reached out his hand towards the man who’s just kissed him and didn’t even explain anything. „Andre, could you come here for a second?“ Asked Semir before dragging Andre by the hand into an empty room, exhaling deeply, asking Andre the question that he’s been meaning to ask him ever since he kissed him. „So, first of all, was my ghost twin good?“ Asked Semir with a smirk and a glint in his eyes, implying he’s done something very much crooked. „What?“ Andre was speechless, he’s never seen semir like that, so he gave him an incredulous look, thinking he was talking to the forementioned twin. „Well you see, I had my cousin Hurikhan dress up as me today so I don’t lose again, because filling out paperwork is just not my thing. We’ve actually been planning on doing this for a while now, but nevermind that, I’m really glad that you managed to win again this year.“ That made Andre chuckle, because how did this man, who was standing mere inches from him, Semir Gerkhan, manage to keep this secret for this long was beyond him since Semir has always been a terrible liar. Not that Andre would notice anything anyways, it was just rather peculiar.
„Where the hell did you come up with that name?“ Asked Andre after a long silent break when he was trying to absorb this new information. „We saw it in a stupid book somewhere, anyways, what was that all about?“ „What’re you talking about?“ retorted Andre with an innocent look plastered on his face, leaning against a wall to look more laid back than he actually was. „Oh you know exactly what I’m talking about... why-why did you kiss me back there?“ Semir demanded an answer from him, whatever it took. „I was just trying to protect you, and that seemed to be the best form of distraction available.“ Said Andre smoothly and begaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (there was supposed to be a sweet scene there when they were making tf out and Tom came into the room and silently left after realising what was going on and then Andre and Semir were supposed to exploit their reward in the form of having babymaking time but it was just tooo much and I just couln’t stop staring into nothing along with my brain completely blanked out waiting for something to come up so here we goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo