Chapter Text
Never in her life had Clarke felt such a sense of defeat as in the moment she walked back up his driveway. The house looked different now than it had back then, during that irreversible night in which she had promised herself to have a good time. A good time, for once! All of her friends were doing it, going out, having fun, enjoying themselves, flirting... all while she usually spent hour after hour in her tiny dorm room, headphones on to cancel out the noise, trying to focus on the heavy medicine textbooks. And this was, Clarke admitted, the truly ironic part of the story. As a medicine student and future surgeon, Clarke Griffin was no stranger to the human body. Clarke Griffin knew how babies were made. And yet, somehow, she had ended up here.
The doorbell was shrill and piercing and Clarke drew a deep breath. She had no idea who lived in this house, except for Bellamy – if that even was his real name. There was no name on the door either. She did not even know the last name of the man who was – at least partly – responsible for the situation she was in. But she had liked the sense of anonymity back then, when he had leaned towards her at the bar. A tall and handsome man, dark haired, freckled, and with a kind smile. But the night always tends to paint faces more likeable than they really are and in all honesty, Clarke was not keen on seeing him again. Looking into his eyes would mean for all this to become real and even though Clarke had always been a pragmatical type of person, she would prefer for that to not happen right now. Or ever. But the only thing worse than facing him would be to face this situation all by herself and at least he had to know... or did he? She might as well just handle this on her own and...
The door swung open and Clarke's heart stopped for a second as she looked into one of the prettiest faces she had ever seen. A face you usually expected on TV or in advertisements. A girl's face. Her heart stopped for a second and just like that, all her courage crumbled to pieces.
What a...
Her lungs felt heavy. Trying to breathe steadily, she stood there, starring at the girl.
Bellamy. What a disgusting piece of shit he was. All she had wanted was to have a good time, and while all her friends got away with this kind of behavior seemingly unaffected, of course her night off ended with a pregnancy with a guy who also happened to date the probably prettiest girl in town. She felt disgusting. Guilty. The girl in the doorway furrowed her perfectly grown brow and looked at her bewilderment in confusion.
“You looking for Bell?”, she finally asked, voice kinder than Clarke had expected.
Clarke didn't manage to answer that.
Luckily, the girl took matters in her own hands. “BELL?!”, she demanded with a firm voice into the back of the house. “IT'S A GIRL!”
Clarke wasn't too sure how to react to that. Was that the voice of a pissed girlfriend or did her tone imply that girls showing up at his doorstep was a common event?
There was no time for an answer. The brunette beauty vanished with a smirk from the doorstep and Clarke drew a sharp breath as she heard a guy's footsteps approaching. And there he was. With growing uncertainty, Clarke mustered the guy and admitted that she had misjudged the attraction she felt towards him – he was gorgeous, still. Maybe a part of her had wished that he'd look more normal, more regular, more forgettable but her heart jumped as he smiled in her direction. She cursed herself for it.
“Hey.”
His voice was smooth and deep and that didn't make things easier at all.
“Hey”, she replied, questioning whether it was right to act cool in this kind of situation. Probably not. Hard to stop, anyways.
“Thought about you”, he admitted and leaned against the doorframe.
Probably just a phrase, Clarke thought.
“Yeah...”, she finally struggled to press over her lips and looked at him. Could he just stop looking at her like that? Especially with his girlfriend being in the next room? He didn't seem to care though. What a disgusting man, Clarke reminded herself. You do not fall for guys like that. No matter how they looked.
“See... Bellamy, right?” Of course she knew it was right but she felt like she needed to establish an air of nonchalance. “We need to talk.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah. And you might wanna warn your girlfriend too.” She wasn't too sure what she meant with that but at least she had now addressed the elephant in the room.
“My girlfriend, huh?”, he replied and raised his brow, in the exact same way as the girl had done. “You mean...” With one hand he gestured over his shoulder back into the room.
Clarke swallowed and nodded. How on earth could he be so...
“You mean my sister?”
His voice sounded so firm, so certain that she had a hard time questioning what he just said. Still, she wouldn't be Clarke Griffin if she didn't.
“Your sister?!”, she replied, trying to hide her relief. Didn't work all that well, she admitted to herself, but a sister was, and that was a fact, the way better option in this situation. Irregardless whether he would... she would... they would... because they wouldn't. This was not a date, after all.
“Yeaaah”, he smiled back at her, slowly, cherishing the moment. Probably needed the attention, Clarke supposed. What a jerk. Her heart beat faster.
“We get that often, you know? Don't look that much alike...”, he continued in the meantime, looking at her like he wasn't paying attention to the conversation at all – like his mind was already kissing her, touching her, undressing her... well, he would regret that soon enough.
“Half sister, I assume?” Clarke was astonished at how fierce her voice sounded. “I mean, she doesn't exactly look...”
“...Asian?”, he concluded, smirking. “Nah. Different dads. Anyways... what was it I should warn her about?”
A sudden urge to run far, far away crossed her mind. She stayed, though.
“Maybe... it's best if I come in for a second. You might wanna sit down for this.”
///
“A... Baby?!”
It was the fourth time he had asked exactly that and she grew more and more uncomfortable with each time.
“Bellamy, could you please...”
“A... freaking... Baby?!”
“Don't use that word!”
“Which word?”
“Baby!”
He starred at her in confusion. “But... that's what it is, isn't it? I mean not that I'm the doctor here but...”
She shut him up with a quick gesture. He needed to stop talking like that because somehow Clarke wasn't so sure if he understood. She wouldn't keep the... pregnancy. She had known from the start. She was too young, on the way of becoming what she had always wanted to be and she would not give up everything for one mistake. It didn't feel good, no, but the decision was made and the sooner he realized, the better.
“So you...”, he started again and she nodded quickly, before he was able to even end the sentence.
“Oh”, he concluded.
“Yeah”, she replied.
The silence that followed wasn't exactly the most comfortable feeling Clarke ever experienced but she reminded herself to stay strong.
“See”, she finally gave in and sunk back onto the sofa next to him. “I don't think we even need to discuss this.”
He looked at her, quietly.
“We're not... I don't even know your last name and I'm pretty sure you didn't plan for this to happen so we should just...”
“Yeah...”
“And... that's why...”
“Yeah...”
And right then, when she least expected it, she suddenly felt his arm around her shoulders, carefully drawing her closer.
“That okay?”, he asked quietly and she nodded. Giving in to the urge she leaned against him – he smelled good and warm, like sheets, hot showers and coffee.
“It's gonna be okay”, he whispered and starred at the wall across the room for a while until he leaned his head towards her. “We're gonna get through this, we're gonna be alright.” Maybe, just maybe, he wasn't that much of a jerk after all.
“Yeah”, she muttered lowly, leaning her head against his shoulders.
“And hey?” She looked up. Was there a smile on his face?
“It's Blake.”
“What?”
“My last name. It's Blake.”