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Razor was never good with his words. Not just because he was literally raised by wolves, but because words were complicated. They felt heavy on his tongue. They were supposed to make communicating easier and yet they felt insufficient in convey what he felt.
What could mere words do that actions could not?
Razor knew that his lupical was his family because they were the ones that took care of him when he could not take care of himself. They were the ones that protected him and not ask for anything in return. They were the ones that did not abandon him.
He could not eat words. He could not sleep with words. He could not trust that the words would keep him safe. No, words were just words. Spoken and most of the time forgotten. He didn’t need words to know who to trust. No, he knew who he could trust without words.
Words were noisy. Words were used as masks to hide one's true intentions. Words made lying easy.
When he was selling the furs and leathers to a traveling merchant, Razor hated how the man's smile and his eyes did not match his words. The merchant would tell him that the goods he had brought with him were not of high quality, that he was doing him a favor by giving him the amount he did. But the greed in the man's eyes, the way he sneered--it made his stomach turn. He was a man that hid his true thoughts with words that were crafted and woven into pretty lies.
He did not like words. He did not like the way people twisted it. He did not like how easy it was to lie by stringing a few together. He did not like it—Or at least that’s what he had thought.
When he first heard her voice, he liked the sound. It was soft and pleasing to listen to. And the more she spoke, the more he learned that he really liked the sound of her voice and the words she spoke.
Her words were sweet to his ears and they never hid anything from him. When she said something it matched her actions. When she called out his name with a bright smile on her lips, he felt something fluttering in his stomach. A strange but..pleasant feeling.
A feeling that lingered like her scent, a scent that made him feel good, a scent that reminded him of her kindness, a scent that he had grown very fond of. The feeling made him want to say something but he couldn’t find the words, he didn’t know the words that could properly covey this feeling.
Could he tell her that when she smiled at him like that it reminded him of the sun peaking through the clouds? Bright, warm, and full of life. How he wanted to protect that smile most? To make her happy, that seemed like a great way to spend his day. When the wind picked up, her soft and bright scent drew him in.
She smelled of the stars, bright and shining. A companion during the night as he gazed up at them, wondering what stories that they could tell him. For stars never lied, they were honest and good. She smelled of the sea, a little salty but at the same time, fresh. Of the cool breeze that would blow through his hair. She smelled like endless possibilities and adventures. And like the light sweet scent of Windwheel asters, he was reminded of the flower fields in the spring. The sweet and floral scent that could not be mimicked in any perfume.
A scent that was uniquely hers. “You smell…good.” He whispered softly. He wished he had a better way of communicating how he felt, how she made him feel. He wished that he had better words than just that she smelled good. He wished he could write poetry like the bard or even like Bennett. He wished he could tell her so many things because she deserved it and more.
He expected her to look confused like so many others did. He expected her to shrug it off and just continue on, but instead she smiled at him. Her gaze softening as she took his hand in hers. “You smell good too.” She said with a beautiful and bright smile.
His heart stopped. She understood him. She understood his words. She understood what he meant. She listened.
His smile grew and he gave her hand a squeeze. Yes, she smelled good. Yes, he wanted to protect her smile. Yes, she was his lupical. He decided before following behind her.
“I’ll practice with you.” She said kindly as she sat down next to him and looked at the book in his lap. Lisa had given him a fairy tale book to read through and practice, to help him find words.
As he read through the sentence, she helped with his pronunciation, always patient, always kind, always smiling at him. He felt when he was with her, even words became easier. When he was with her, he wanted to find the words that could properly convey everything he was feeling as he felt her shoulder brush against his. The way his ears tingled when she read out a sentence for him. He wanted to give her the prettiest words.
“My words…are they alright?”
Her eyes moved to glance over at him. A curious brow was raised before she shook her head. “Your words were always alright.”
“But—They aren’t…”
“They are honest and I never have to worry that you'd say something you don’t mean.”
He pressed his tongue to the inside of his mouth before nodding. She was not fond of liars, either. “I want to get better at words.”
“You will but you don’t have to push yourself too hard. Because no matter what words you use, I’ll always listen. I’ll always try to understand your words, Razor.”
Safe. He was safe here. Not only from outside dangers but from his own worries. He was happy by her side because it was safe and good. “Because you are my lupical…you understand me…I like that.”
He said those words and yet it did not feel like it was enough. He liked hash browns. He liked his friends. He liked his lupical. But to say that he liked Lumine…It didn’t feel quite right. This feeling was more than just like. It was like the first time he got his vision, the cackling feeling of electricity coursing through his veins. Everything felt so heightened, so exciting, so—
Ah. His head hurt.
He set his head down onto her lap and she let out a sound of surprise before laughing. “You worked hard, Razor.” She said gently as she combed her fingers through his hair and he smiled to himself.
He really liked this. He really really liked this. He liked the way her fingers felt in his hair. He liked that she allowed him to rest his head in her lap. He liked that when he opened his eyes, she was all that he saw. He reached up and lightly touched a piece of her blonde hair. “Pretty.” He said softly.
“Are you saying that I’m pretty or that my hair is pretty?”
“Both.” He said quickly before rubbing his fingers together. Playing with her hair as he looked at her happy expression. He really liked when she looked at him like that. He really liked that she smiled so easily, so brightly around him. He liked that she never felt the need to lie or put up her guard around him. She trusted him like he trusted her.
They were each other’s lupical.
“Lumine.”
“Hmn?”
She was more than pretty. She was more and he felt frustrated at the idea that there was no word to properly describe the color of her eyes, the shade of her hair, the way she made him feel when she smiled at him like that. She was more than pretty and words would never be enough.
Razor frowned slightly before an idea struck him. If words were not enough…
He lifted his head slowly before his lips met hers. The sweet taste of the berries that they had been sharing while reading together still lingered. The soft way her lips felt against his before he parted slowly. His ruby eyes sparkling as he lowered his head back onto her lap.
He watched as her eyes wide with surprise did not show any dislike for his actions. Instead, her cheeks flushed a light pink and there was a faint smile on her lips. “Where…did you learn that?”
“Lisa…gave me…a book…”
“Did she give you a romance novel?”
“She told me..it would help…”
Lumine laughed before she brushed his hair away from his forehead and looked at him warmly. “And did it help?”
Did the book help? It talked about how kisses could properly convey one’s affections for someone and he did feel that way for Lumine. And he did like the way her lips felt against his, the lingering warmth that it left behind. He wanted to do it again. Maybe the books did help, he felt that it did. After all, he could still feel her against his lips. And it was a very nice feeling. "I am not sure...I don't..."
“It looks like it wasn’t enough.”
“Hmn?” His ruby eyes moved up to see her teasing and playful smile before she leaned down to kiss his forehead. It was now his turn to be surprised. And then she gave a kiss to the tip of his nose and then back to his lips.
He really really liked this feeling. He really really liked kissing Lumine. He really liked—her.
Words may not be enough, but this was. Maybe whenever he felt this way, he could just kiss her to tell her how he felt. Maybe whenever he felt this ticklish feeling in his chest, the way his heart jumped and raced around her, he could take her hand and hold her. Maybe…one day he’d find the best words to give to his lupical, his Lumine. To the girl who smelled good.