Chapter Text
Bette had arrived early, per usual. It seemed like the entire restaurant stopped to admire her as she made her way to her table wearing a purple dress that hugged all of the right places nicely. Bette did not notice any of it. She hardly ever did which was both good and bad depending on the situation. She was sat at a table with the most beautiful view of the water. She watched the lights dance at random over the wide, soft ripples. Lost in thought. Waiting.
Bette’s thoughts turned to earlier that day when her phone message alert sounded. She was surprised to see it was from Tina. They had only communicated twice since that fateful night. The brunette stared at the phone for a long while before she opened the message.
“Are you available to meet me for dinner tonight?”
Bette wasn’t sure what to do or think or feel or how to respond. She didn’t want to seem too eager or too aloof. Tina wanted to have dinner with her. Suddenly, Bette’s heart started beating really fast and tears sprang to her eyes threatening to spill out all of the feelings she hadn’t allowed herself to feel. Tina was finally ready to talk to her.
“Yes. Just let me know when and where.”
“The Harborview. 8pm.”
The Harborview? That was one of their favorite restaurants. Bette permitted herself a glimmer of hope. This was a surprising turn of events. It had been a week since Tina walked in on Bette and Candace. Bette tried to explain that Candace had kissed her. Not the other way around. Tina did not care. All she knew is that she saw her supposed life partner in the arms of another and she was done. Bette will never forget that day and will always regret it.
***
Candace did such a phenomenal job with Provocations that Bette retained her for the next show without discussing it with Tina. Bette had explained that one piece needed to be suspended from the ceiling. Candace had a few ideas and she was showing Bette a rough sketch of how they could make it work without any obstructions. Bette put both hands on the table and leaned in closer. Candace placed her right hand next to Bette’s left hand and leaned in too. Bette took in everything that Candace was saying. Her gaze following Candace’s left hand as she pointed and gestured. So focused that she hadn’t noticed Candace’s right hand covering her own until she did.
Bette looked at Candace and before her brain knew what was happening, the carpenter kissed the brunette. It lasted all of two seconds. Bette put both of her hands on Candace’s shoulders and firmly pushed her away. Bette looked over Candace’s head and saw Tina standing in the doorway. Tina didn’t have to speak. Her eyes had flashes of sadness, hurt and finally settled on anger.
“Tee.” Bette looked down at her hands still on Candace’s shoulders and quickly back to the love of her life’s face. Tina turned on her heels and ran out of the room.
“Oh my God. Tina”, Bette whispered.
“You’re fucking fired. Do you hear me?” She spewed with venom right before she sprinted after Tina.
Tina had expressed how she didn’t like the way Candace spoke to Bette and looked at her. Bette dismissed her concerns and said there was absolutely nothing going on. Tina became increasingly distant after the miscarriage. Nothing Bette did or said was the right thing to do or say. Bette began spending more and more time at the Gallery. A defense mechanism that she had honed to perfection. She always threw herself into her work when everything else was crumbling around her. She could control the little fires at work. And Bette needed to control something because the rest of her life was in chaos. Candace thought Bette’s presence signaled a green light.
This particular afternoon, Tina decided to surprise Bette and apologize to the brunette for being so crazy about Candace. Tina was ready to put it behind her since Provocations was over and there was no need for Bette to ever see Candace again. Tina walked in as they were pulling away from each other. Tina watched as Bette’s hands caressed Candace’s shoulders. Blinded by rage, Tina mistook the look in her lover’s eyes for passion.
Bette grabbed Tina before she bolted through the door. “Tee. Wait!”
Tina violently yanked her arm out of Bette’s grasp surprising them both at the forcefulness of it. “Don’t you dare fucking touch me.”
“Please let me explain. It’s not what you think.” Bette was trying to be calm but every nerve in her body was firing off in full panic mode. This cannot be happening.
“And to think, I came here to apologize to you for the way I’ve been acting. To try to reconnect.”
“Tee, nothing is going on. Candace…”
Tina didn’t let Bette finish. Instead she slapped her. The sound echoed throughout the gallery. Bette grabbed her cheek and muffled a scream. She took a step forward and engulfed the blonde in a bear hug. Whispering in her ear “Listen to me. I’m sorry.” Tina interpreted those words as an admission of guilt. She pushed Bette away again. Bette froze at the look in Tina’s eyes and then watched her as she disappeared through the door. Bette fell to the ground. She doesn’t remember how long she sat there crying.
She felt her phone vibrate.
“She’s here,” Alice texted.
“I’m on my way.”
“Not a good idea. She’s a fucking mess. I know you have a good explanation as to what the fuck Candace’s lips were doing on yours but you’ll only make things worse by coming over here tonight.”
“I’m coming.”
“No.”
Bette loved her friend and was so grateful that she was always there for Tina. When she and Tina first started dating, Alice was the first one to embrace the mystery blonde into their close-knit group. Initially, it was to find out everything she could about the straight woman who charmed her best friend and notably the hottest lesbian in town. It was big news that the infamous Bette Porter was no longer on the market. The woman who made women swoon simply by walking by them. The woman who could turn anyone into putty with that big smile that lit up her entire face. Bette was a unicorn and Alice was fascinated to learn all she could about Tina Kennard, the unicorn whisperer. But Alice’s interest in Tina quickly turned from one of her subjects to friendship as she got to know her. Alice and the rest of their circle were so happy for Bette. They knew Tina was going to be good for her. Tina calmed her.
“Al, take care of her.”
“I will. You take care of you.”
The next thing Bette remembered was Shane picking her up off of the floor.
“I didn’t, Shane.”
“I know.”
Fuck me they both thought.
***
The blonde sat in the car a few more seconds, contemplating driving off. She almost did but the valet opened her door and offered his hand to help her out. Tina was stunning in her own right. As she stood, she smoothed the front of her green dress. Trying to settle her nerves more than trying to knock the invisible wrinkles away. She garnered several admiring glances as she entered the restaurant.
“Party of two for Kennard.” Tina was hoping she’d beat Bette to the restaurant. She wanted to calm herself before she had to look into the chocolate pools of Bette’s eyes and say what she had to say.
“The other party has already been seated. Let me show you to your table.”
Fucking hell, Tina thought.
As if on cue, Bette snapped out of her trance and looked up just in time to watch Tina getting closer. She swallowed hard. Tina looked amazing. Bette wondered if she had worn that particular dress for her. It was one of her favorites. She loved the way that specific green enhanced the blonde’s hazel eyes. Who was she kidding? She loved Tina in anything and especially loved her in nothing at all. Bette smiled at that thought. Tina blushed when she saw Bette smile. She knew that smile. Bette wanted to stand and pull Tina into her arms but decided against it. It was too late anyway; the waiter was already pulling out the chair for her.
Neither of them spoke. And then they both spoke in unison. “Hi.”
“Hope you haven’t been waiting long,” Tina said. Bette thought I would wait for you for all eternity.
“No, not long at all.”
The waiter appeared with the menus and a bottle of chardonnay. Tina looked at Bette as the waiter poured their drinks. Bette sensed what Tina was thinking and also knew she didn’t approve. “I didn’t order this.” Bette said quickly.
“Compliments.” He grinned mischievously and nodded towards the bartender before he sashayed off.
They were used to such forwardness. Simultaneously, they gave a polite smile in thank you lifting their glasses toward the bar. Satisfied with the acknowledgement from the ladies, the bartender smiled broadly. And they both chuckled.
Reaching the glass to her lips, Bette was delighted in the choice. Tina watched Bette take a slow drink before picking up her menu for a distraction. She couldn’t believe she wanted to taste the wine off of Bette’s lips but she did. Bette had an effect on Tina and her body was betraying her. Tina admonished herself for being weak for the woman across from her. The woman who cheated on her. And she was a little annoyed that Bette decided to wear the purple dress of all dresses in that department store she calls a closet.
Bette instantly noticed the shift in her partner’s demeanor. This was not going to be easy.
“I was surprised to get your text. The last time we spoke, you said you needed time.”
“I’m leaving.” Tina unexpectedly blurted out. Damn it! She didn’t mean to say it so soon and so loud.
“What? You just got here.” Bette’s eyes widened unsure of what was happening. She tried to mask her surprise but it was too late.
“I’m going to Vancouver for this new movie,” Tina said a little softer after recognizing the look in Bette’s eyes before she keenly covered it up. Someone else would not have picked up on the fright behind those chestnut eyes. Bette recovered quickly but Tina noticed. She always noticed. “They need me on set. I’ll be gone for a while.”
Bette spoke slowly. “How long is a while?”
“A few months. Maybe a year.”
“MAYBE a year?” The words hit Bette like a blunt object to the back of the head. She blinked back the tears. “When are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow afternoon.”
Silence.
Barely audible, she spoke with a sad coolness, not able to keep the disappointment out of her voice. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Tina shifted in her seat. The conversation was getting tense and she was thankful they were tucked away in a discreet corner. Semi-sheltered from the rest of the restaurant.
“I need to go to the house and pack my things. And I don’t want you to be there.”
Bette just looked at her. “How long have you known about this trip because this is the first I’m hearing of it? It’s only been a week.” Bette downed the rest of her wine. Visibly agitated.
“Just came up.”
“Did they assign you this movie or did you request it?”
“Does it matter?”
“It matters to me, Tee. It matters to me.”
“I’ll be by to get my things tomorrow.”
And with that, Bette knew the answer. Tina had requested to be the producer on this movie. A movie that would take her away. She’d volunteered to move to Vancouver. Tina wanted to put as much distance between them as she possibly could.
They stared at each other, speaking volumes. Sometimes it felt like they were one soul, often knowing when one was in trouble, finishing each other’s thoughts and communicating through slight touches or a glance or a nod.
Their eyes said it all.
Bette stood in front of Tina in disbelief. She wanted to unload her fury, at the very least yell or more truthfully, beg her to stay. Make a scene. But Bette didn’t do any of that. To a stranger, she did not look angry or upset or surprised. Her body was expressionless. That was one of Bette’s superpowers…to always appear confident and in control. However, Tina couldn’t bear what she saw in Bette’s eyes – so much panic and pain.
Bette gazed at Tina with an odd awareness. She’d never looked at her that way before and Tina didn’t like it. She could already feel Bette’s walls going up. The brunette tried to breathe deeply, but surges of anger and hurt cut her breath short. Bette could feel her hands trembling. She closed her eyes. Her heart broke into a gazillion tiny pieces that rose up, plugging her throat.
She needed some air.
Then she was gone.
With that, a heavy sigh escaped Tina and she turned towards the window. This was not how this was supposed to go.
****
When Tina arrived at the house the next morning, she was surprised to find three large suitcases by the door with a note in Bette’s handwriting.
Tina,
Since you’re in such a hurry to get away from me, I packed your things for you. Feel free to take anything else you’d like. I will not contact you while you’re gone. You know where to find me when you’re ready to talk. Unlike you, I’m not going anywhere.
Bette
“Well, shit,” Tina exhaled.
The night before, Bette poured a large glass of chardonnay upon returning home. She downed it in one gulp and poured another. She was fucking livid. She screamed, “Tinnnaaaaaa!” It was a sound she had never made before. It bubbled up from the core of her. Shane came running in from the garden. Out of breath.
“Bette. What’s going on? Is Tina here?”
“No, Shane. Tina is not here and after tomorrow she will never be here again.”
“What…what does that mean?”
“She’s leaving. I just got back from meeting her at the Harborview and she so kindly informed me that She. Is. Fucking. Moving. To. Vancouver... Tomorrow.” Bette nearly choked trying to get the words out.
Shane stood there. Dumbfounded. She didn’t want to believe it was true but from the state Bette was in, it had to be. Her first priority was to try to calm Bette down the best she could.
Shane walked over to Bette and asked her what she needed. She told her younger friend that Tina was coming by in the morning to get her things. “Stay with me while I pack them up tonight?”
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“No, Shane. I don’t want to do this. I’m not sure of much of anything else but I’m sure of that. I’m also sure that I don’t want her to have to do it alone.” Shane saw that even in the depths of her hurt, Bette wanted to spare Tina as much pain as possible. That made her love her friend even more.
“I’ll order a pizza. You need to eat something.”
Shane made Bette eat a slice of pizza. Then she sat in the chair by the window in their bedroom and watched as Bette cried while she packed Tina’s belongings. She never spoke of that night to anyone. Bette was grateful.
Tina walked through the house feeling the emptiness. She noticed the wine glass, beer bottles and pizza box. Shane had been with her. Tina was glad of that. She entered the bedroom and the tears began to flow. One of the drawers was ajar. The closet door was open. All of her things removed. No longer occupying space. Before she left, she turned back to see if Bette had packed her favorite sweatshirt. Technically, it belonged to Bette but Tina claimed it as her own when they first started dating. She opened the drawer and saw the Yale sweatshirt staring back at her. This made Tina angry. She snatched it up and walked out.
She stopped in the hallway when she saw Shane. Her eyes darted around the room expecting Bette to be there as well.
“She’s not here,” Shane said matter-of-factly. “She asked me to come help you take your stuff to wherever you needed me to take it to.”
“She did?”
“She did.”
“You don’t have to go, Tina. This will kill her. And you.”
“Did she ask you to talk me into staying?”
“You know us both better than that.”
Tina was still too angry about the baby, Candace and the sweatshirt to truly process what Shane was saying.
“Thanks for the offer, but I have a car out front waiting for me. I’ll call when I get settled.”
“Ok.” And with that, Shane plopped down on the couch and watched the driver remove the suitcases from the place Bette and Tina had called home for so long.
“Bye, Shane.”
“Bye, Tina.”
Shane looked around. All signs of Tina gone.