Chapter Text
Married life suits me, Anthony thought to himself happily as he munched on a biscuit, sitting languidly in his study at Bridgerton House as the afternoon wore on. Katharine, Viscountess Bridgerton, his wife of just over a month, was out shopping with his sister Daphne the Duchess of Hastings. He rarely would permit to have her out of his sight if he could help it—newlyweds must be forgiven their strange manners of behaviour after all—but he wanted Kate to start enjoying the perks of being a viscountess—meaning, spending money on jewels and dresses to her heart’s content like she’d never done before.
So far, all attempts to spoil her had been met with you don’t need to or it’s unnecessary or even oh honestly, Anthony, have you considered giving more to charity? Not that he would mind if his wife established a charity, his own mother sat at the board of a few—but he also wanted to give his wife things. Pretty things.
Daphne was under strict instructions to just purchase whatever Kate seemed to like, and to not listen to any refusals. If anyone could get through to Kate, it would be Daphne.
He heard a knock on the door, shaking him out of his musings, and the Butler entered.
“Miss Edwina Sharma is here to see you, my lord.”
Anthony frowned, he hadn’t been expecting his wife’s sister, but he couldn’t very well turn her away. Perhaps she was late to meet Daphne and Kate and wanted to know where they were. He hastily wiped the crumbs off his mouth and stood up to receive Edwina.
“My lord.” Edwina curtsied; her eyes demurely cast to the ground.
“Please, none of that, Edwina.” Anthony chuckled, motioning for her to have a seat. “Are you well?”
“Oh, as well as can be expected.” Edwina shrugged, her beautiful smile making Anthony wonder why on Earth people thought Edwina and Kate did not look alike. They had the exact same bright smile. “And you, my lord? I hope I’m not interrupting important work.”
“Not at all, I welcome the reprieve. However, Kate has already left with Daphne, I’m afraid.” Anthony said, smiling apologetically. “Would you like me to ask the driver to take you to where they are? I’m fairly certain they’re at the confectioner’s—”
“Oh, no. I’m here to see you, my lord.” Edwina serenely said, putting her hands together on her lap. Anthony raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “I would like to discuss something with you.”
Ah, perhaps she is here to talk to me about the gentleman who has been courting her, Anthony thought to himself, pleased that Edwina thought of him as part of her family and would come to him for a matter such as that.
“Of course. Would you like me to call for tea?” Anthony asked. He didn’t really care for tea at this time but would not be rude to his new sister. Before Edwina could reply, he had rung the bell and requested for a tea service. Not long after, it was brought in, and they helped themselves to biscuits and tea.
“Now, what is it you would like to speak to me about?” Anthony asked as he sat straight up, assuming a lordlier pose.
“It’s about Kate.” Edwina began. Anthony did not miss the way his heart tightened at the sound of his wife’s name. Ridiculous. Is this what being in love really is like? He could not get enough of her.
“What about my wife?” Anthony asked, the crease on his forehead folding as he thought of what the matter with Kate could be. He was suddenly worried, and he banished those thoughts away as quickly as they had come. He had no reason to be worried, but it was in his very nature to be protective.
“I…well, it’s almost her birthday.” Edwina began, looking at him pointedly. “As you may know.”
“Oh, yes, of course, quite right.” Anthony coughed, shaking his head in relief that it wasn’t anything serious. “We should plan something, a dinner or—”
“Oh, you don’t know, do you?” Edwina’s eyes widened. “Of course, you wouldn’t, you haven’t known her that long.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I mean no offense, my lord, truly.” Edwina giggled, the sound filling the afternoon air. “It’s just…well, Kate is difficult to surprise. She cannot be surprised.”
“What do you mean?” Anthony scoffed. “Anyone can be surprised.”
“Well, I suppose…” Edwina bit her lip thoughtfully. “Kate is the most wonderful older sister. She always seems to know what I like before I even know it myself. Throughout the years, she’s come up with the loveliest surprises for my birthdays…you see, we’ve never been able to afford anything…erm…extravagant but she never let that stop her from giving me the best. This one time she arranged for a picnic in the meadows and asked a girl from the village who knew how to play the harp to join us…Kate asked her to play some of my favourite childhood lullabies.”
Anthony could see that Edwina’s eyes were misting with tears. He offered her a handkerchief, but she refused and blinked her tears away.
“But…” Edwina gave a heavy sigh, and her disposition changed that Anthony was surprised. “I could never do the same for her, not even with mama’s help. She always seemed to guess what exactly we had planned days or hours before the surprise. It didn’t matter, of course, we still enjoyed ourselves, but…” Edwina let out a laugh. “It always annoyed me that I could never surprise her, and I never really had a fighting chance, did I? Nothing gets by Kate. Well, until now that is. Now, I have an ally.”
“What?” Anthony looked at Edwina in surprise, wondering at the triumphant smile she had on her face. He suddenly thought back to his childhood at Aubrey Hall when he and his siblings would play in teams. Edwina’s smile reminded him of Daphne’s or Colin’s when he would pick them for his team over Benedict.
“You are my sister’s husband, my lord.” Edwina grinned. “If you and I put our heads together to plan a most grand surprise for Kate, she would never catch on. I may not be clever enough to do it myself, but together, we would be undefeated.”
“I do admit the thought of throwing a celebration for Kate pleases me.” Anthony thoughtfully said, a small smile gracing his features. “And of course, it being a surprise would just make it even more delightful.”
“Hmm.” Edwina hummed happily. “She must never suspect a thing, so you must be very discreet my lord. Tell only family, and make sure none of them tell Kate.”
Anthony inwardly groaned as he thought of Hyacinth. She could very well be listening outside of the door at this very moment.
“We have…what? Four weeks to plan this?” Anthony tapped his fingers on the table and ran the dates in his head. “I’m certain we can keep it quiet until then.”
“Really, my lord, you are certain?” Edwina looked at him, bemused. “You can lie to your wife for four weeks?”
“Lying is a strong word.” Anthony chuckled. “We’re just going to…choose our words carefully?”
“And you believe Kate won’t see through it?” Edwina asked, still doubtful. “That was how she always caught on to our surprises back then. She’d pick apart our words, add things up, and figure it out herself.”
“I have seven younger siblings, Edwina, and I practically raised most of them.” Anthony replied, rolling his eyes in a manner that had Edwina in a fit of giggles. “Trust me, keeping this information from Kate won’t be the issue. It will be throwing her off the trail.”
“Off the trail?” Edwina asked curiously.
“Yes. Your sister is very clever. She’ll suspect something is in the works soon enough.” Anthony offhandedly said, feeling his heart widen at the thought of a challenge. He loved challenges, and Kate did too. It was one of the things that made their courtship so exciting. “We must make sure to keep her…distracted at the appropriate moments.”
“Then it shall have to be a group endeavour indeed.” Edwina clapped her hands excitedly. “This is terribly exciting; I’ve never had allies before.”
“You speak as if we’re going to war, Miss Sharma.” Anthony teased.
“We are talking about Katharine, aren’t we?” Edwina retorted, and Anthony had to hold back a loud laugh. He wondered at the people who only saw Edwina for her beauty and charm, for she was every bit as witty as her older sister.
“Allies, then.” Anthony grinned cheekily, offering his hand to Edwina, who put on her very serious look just to shake his hand.
They continued with their tea, discussing possible plans when they heard a rustle from outside followed by airy feminine laughs. The door opened, and in entered Kate and Daphne. They both stood to greet the newcomers.
“Edwina!” Kate trilled, not even looking at Anthony’s direction as she sped to embrace her younger sister. “I didn’t know you were here!”
“Yes, well, I was hoping to join you shopping, but I arrived a bit late.” Edwina ruefully said, bowing her head. Anthony nodded, impressed at Edwina’s quick thinking.
“Oh? Surely you could have spared a carriage to take her to us, brother.” Daphne frowned at Anthony, who merely shrugged.
“Oh, I did not want to trouble anyone. Besides, Lord Bridgerton offered tea and I couldn’t refuse.” Edwina smiled demurely.
“Oh, how lovely. Thank you, Anthony.” Kate hummed as she walked over to her husband, who dutifully dropped a kiss on her cheek. “I feel less guilty about leaving Edwina behind now, knowing you were here to keep her company.”
“It was nothing, I was very happy to.” Anthony replied, feeling his stomach tighten at her happy smile. It truly was nothing for him to entertain Edwina, it was practically a duty, but Kate had a way of making these small insignificant gestures of his feel not so insignificant—she made him feel as if he were eight feet tall. “Did you enjoy shopping?”
“Oh, yes.” Daphne gave Anthony a knowing look. “Kate purchased this lovely hat from this marvellous new milliner down at Oxford Street, as well as a pair of lovely satin gloves—perhaps you could wear them tomorrow evening, Kate?” Daphne asked, referring to the Hastings ball she was hosting tomorrow.
“I cannot believe you are hosting a ball while pregnant, sister.” Anthony glowered, putting his hands on his hips exasperatedly. “How Simon allowed this, I do not—”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake.” Daphne exasperatedly said, glaring at her brother. “I’m pregnant, not incapacitated. It’s going to be great fun—hopefully it won’t rain like last year, and you’ll be there of course, Anthony.”
Anthony bit his tongue. He hadn’t been able to attend Daphne’s first ball as the Duchess of Hastings last year given the incident with Sienna. He remembered feeling forlorn and utterly miserable because of what had happened, and he felt tremendously guilty afterwards for not being there for his sister.
And he did it all for Sienna. He closed his eyes briefly and sighed—he’d behaved childishly in his ridiculous attempt to grab at anything that could remotely resemble happiness. Not only that, but he did it at his family’s expense and missed a very important moment in Daphne’s life. It was inexcusable for a viscount, and for a Bridgerton? Unforgiveable.
But at least it cleared his vision.
It was for the best, he thought as he glanced at Kate, who was now talking animatedly about the ball with Edwina and Daphne. He loved the way her eyes shone whenever she talked with her loved ones—as if they hung from the moon. He thanked his lucky stars and good fortune that it would be Kate—his Kate—on his arm tomorrow evening at Hastings House. She was so very perfect for him, and he loved her so much for it that he was going to show her off to anyone who didn’t yet know how much he adored her—not that they numbered plenty, their courtship had been the talk of the ton. Nevertheless, how he loved showing off his new bride—his new, perfect bride.
Edwina and Daphne bid their goodbyes, leaving Anthony and Kate alone in the study.
“Should we head off as well?” Kate asked, leaning on the table. “Are you finished with work?”
“Quite.” Anthony murmured, sitting down as he sorted the papers out. It could all wait until tomorrow or the following day. “You know, one day we won’t have to leave. This will be our home. This is our home.”
“Yes, your mother’s been saying how eager she is for us to move here…she says they’ll be plenty of room for children.” Kate put her hand over her mouth as she giggled. She still could not move past how overt Violet was in her attempt for her children to marry and give her grandchildren.
“Oh?” Anthony easily pulled Kate into his lap, narrowly missing the teacup perched precariously on his desk. “Then perhaps we should start making the children, then?”
“Don’t start.” Kate grumbled, trying to pull away but Anthony was strong. He kept her steady on his lap. Her cheeks bloomed red. “This is a study.”
“You didn’t seem to mind locations much during our honeymoon.” Anthony retorted, giving her a teasing wink. It was true that they’d christened many nooks and crannies inside and outside Aubrey Hall. Kate had been mortified afterwards, and she prayed that by the next time they returned there, the servants would have forgotten how loud and brazen they’d been.
“That was different. We were the only ones at Aubrey Hall then…well…” Kate blushed. “Except for the servants. Here, well, your entire family’s just downstairs.”
“Don’t you like a little risk?” Anthony asked, nibbling on her ear.
“You’re the one who likes risks, Anthony.” Kate sighed as his hand began trailing up her skirt. “I just happen to indulge you from time to time.”
“And you’ll indulge me tonight, and tomorrow, and the next…”
“Perhaps not tomorrow. We might too tired after Daphne and Simon’s ball.” Kate hummed thoughtfully as Anthony played with the tops of her stockings, eager to slide them down her marvellous legs. “Speaking of which, why didn’t you attend last year?”
Anthony stilled.
He removed his hand from her stockings. Kate, intrigued by his response—or lack thereof, used the opportunity to push herself off him and stand up. She arranged her dress and took a seat next to him. She looked at him expectantly.
Kate was surprised. He seemed to be struggling with his words. He was getting worked up again, and it reminded her of how strung up and agitated he’d been on the day he’d proposed to her in the garden, right before the bee stung her and he went mad. She was worried it would happen again.
“Anthony, try taking a deep breath—”
“Hmm?” Anthony turned sharply to her, as if snapping out of his thoughts. “Oh, Kate, no…don’t worry. I just…”
Now, she was even more intrigued.
“I…” He didn’t know where to start. “The truth is I almost went. I was supposed to be there. However, there was…a complication.”
“A complication?” Kate frowned, wondering what kind of complication would keep him from such an event. The man practically worshipped the ground his family walked on. “More important than your sister’s first ball, hosting as a Duchess?”
“I…you see…” Anthony stammered. Kate raised an eyebrow and leaned forward. She needed to know now, and she would give him no quarter until he told her.
“Yes?” Kate pressed.
Anthony sighed, resigned. He shook his head. He could never be untruthful to Kate, especially not about something like this. She deserved better. He loved her.
“A complication with my then mistress.” Anthony continued quietly. “The opera singer whom you overheard during the…”
Oh.
“Oh.” Kate stopped, her heart skipping a bit and a knot forming in her stomach. “Yes. Yes. I…I remember now. The night before we were…engaged.”
“Yes.”
“What was it?”
“What was what?”
“The complication? What was it about?” Kate asked, looking him hesitantly in the eye. His eyes widened and Kate once more feared he’d lose himself to panic and agitation. She pulled back. “You know what, you don’t have to tell me, not if you don’t want to—”
“Kate, you’re my wife.” Anthony softly said. He remembered the love his parents shared, and how his father had pressed on to him the value of complete honesty between husband and wife. Back then, it had made him excited to find someone to share that with, but after his father’s death he decided closing himself off would be the best thing to do. That is, until he met Kate and she deftly shattered the walls around his heart using his mallet of death and her own iron grip on his heart and soul. He loved her, and he would be completely honest with her even if it hurt. “There isn’t anything I would keep from you.”
“That’s…that’s nice.” She murmured, shrugging as if she didn’t know what to make of it. “Thank you.”
“I asked her to attend the ball with me.” Anthony responded to her question, looking down at his desk shamefully.
Kate blinked. It wasn’t unheard of for men of power to flaunt their mistresses in public, and Kate would hardly judge any woman for their circumstances, but she couldn’t believe Anthony had even thought of such a thing. Anthony, who had narrowly avoided a duel to save his sister’s honour, Anthony who had three more sisters to put into the marriage mart and therefore had to avoid scandal—if he had done that, it would have affected Eloise’s, Francesca’s, and Hyacinth’s prospects. Not that it should, Kate thought to herself, but the ton was vicious. Any hint of scandal ruined entire families.
It was so unlike the Anthony she knew. The Anthony she married put family and honour above all else. Which begged the question, who exactly was Anthony before he courted her? He was a rake, yes that she knew—a capital R Rake, but she never thought him reckless or foolish.
Which could only mean one thing.
It was like a veil had been lifted, and behind that, another veil. They would just have to keep lifting veils off each other.
“My goodness.” Kate breathed after what seemed like an eternity. “You were so broken, weren’t you?”
It wasn’t the answer Anthony had expected. Truth be told, he didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. He stayed silent as Kate made her way to him, pulled him up to stand and put her arms around her middle. She pressed her chest against his and put her head on his shoulder. She held him tight, and he tentatively put his arms around her as well.
It was a moment of vulnerability he didn’t know if he should allow. Did loving his wife mean that she would see him stripped of all dignity and pride, his very soul bared for her to see?
“Meeting you set a lot of things straight for me, Kate. You would never have done anything that stupid and…and I admire you for that.” He murmured, running his hand through her dark locks as much as her hairstyle would allow. “You’re right that I was broken.”
“Not because there was anything wrong with you.” Kate admonished, looking up at him. “The burden on your shoulders, Anthony, it’s natural that you wanted someone to—”
“I could never have shared that with her.” He sighed. “I know that now. I was foolish to think that acting out would have fixed things, that it would have made me feel more in control of my own person.”
She knew how difficult this was for him. She had only been married for over a month, and she knew Anthony well enough to slow down when appropriate. It wouldn’t do either of them good if she decided to continue pressing at his mind at this very moment. One step at a time. We’ll get there. We just can’t strain ourselves too much in the process. So, she pulled back.
“Foolish is the right word.” Kate chided, a soft chuckle leaving her lips. She sighed and gave him a smile. “Well, thank goodness you made the wise decision to marry me.”
Anthony was relieved she chose to go down that route.
“Wisest decision I’ve ever made in my life.” He laughed in relief, shaking his head as he dropped a kiss on her temple. “How could I ever thank you for your love?”
“Love me.” She sighed contentedly, closing her eyes as his heartbeat lulled her into peace. “Just love me.”