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Richard’s eyes move from the television screen down to the floor, or rather, the carpet, just besides Severin’s left knee. It’s not the first time his eyes make that journey, and probably not the last, either. It’s an inviting spot, that. Just to the side of the coffee table, so he’ll be able to fit if he sits there, and the perfect distance from Severin to rest his head against him. Spending some time down there would be lovely, and maybe… Maybe today is the day to just come out and tell his boyfriend that he feels that way.
Richard’s eyes flicker up towards Severin’s face, now. Severin, who’s watching the telly, not noticing what’s going on inside Richard’s head, or perhaps simply not minding. It’s a question Richard doesn’t have the answer to, but spends a lot of time figuring out. Doesn’t Severin notice how submissive he is, or doesn’t he mind either way, or has he noticed but not realised what it means, or does he perhaps – possibly – know, and accept, but just wants Richard to come out and say it in his own time?
The reasoning back and forth has Richard’s heart beating so fast and hard inside his chest by now that he’s halfway convinced that it could be seen right through his shirt. He doesn’t dare look, in case he turns out to be right, so instead he focuses on the telly again. This is a difficult enough decision without the potential of Severin being able to look at him and tell just how much this means to him. At least, if Richard can somewhat keep his cool, he can pretend that it was a joke all along if Severin reacts badly.
The joke thing is the only upside to breaking such a difficult topic to his boyfriend in such a casual way that Richard has been able to think up. That, and the fact that he hopefully won’t have to explain himself in absolute, complete detail. At least not the first time around. And there’s always the chance that Severin will catch on himself, that he’ll be familiar with the acts if not the terminology. So even though Richard needs a moment first, to have a breather and chew his left thumb nail down into nothing, he decides to go ahead and risk it just as they cut to commercials.
“Severin?” he asks softly, turning to face his boyfriend. He must look as worried as he feels, because when Severin hums in response, he also drapes an arm around Richard’s shoulders. Richard has to admit to himself that the warmth of the gesture is comforting, and he doesn’t start in on his right thumb as he goes on.
“Do you think maybe I could sit on the floor?”
In the short silence that follows, a few scenarios go through his head. Severin, brow furrowed, asking him what business he has on the floor. Severin, not understanding, telling him that he can sit anywhere he likes. What he doesn’t anticipate is for a little smile to curl Severin’s lips as he says, “Sure”, and gives Richard’s shoulder a bit of a rub before he pulls back, allowing movement. Rather than calming down, Richard’s heart seems to skip a beat as he gets down in position. He settles slowly into his chosen spot, back against the sofa and head leaned slightly against Severin’s thigh. He’s still facing the television screen, just in case. Maybe something in the relative tenseness of his neck and shoulders gives him away, because Severin’s hand finds the back of his neck and touches it in a way that suggests motion.
“You feeling content there?” Severin wants to know, and Richard can’t very well lie to him now that he truly seems to understand.
“Yes, but… I’d prefer facing the other way.” Facing away from the film they’re watching. It wasn’t Richard who chose the channel, though, and while it’s got its exciting bits, it’s not the best film he’s ever seen. Richard only halfway expects Severin to not get it, this time, but Severin understands just as well as he had before.
“Yeah,” he agrees, “I thought you might.”
It’s a struggle, not reading too much into Severin’s words, but being on the floor helps. It’s easier to shut off his brain, like this, and that in turn makes it easier for him to round Severin’s knee and settle down between his spread legs. There’s eye contact for a moment, then Severin’s hand is back in his hair and Severin’s eyes are back on the screen. Resting his cheek against warm denim, Richard lets his own eyes slip closed and allows himself to just enjoy the moment. It’s been so very long since he was last petted.
It drags on for a while, with Richard slowly melting underneath the kind touches. Tensions he wasn’t aware he was carrying seems to go out of his back and shoulders, and before long, Severin’s thigh is the only thing holding him up. That, and Severin’s hand in his hair. The sounds from the telly and the traffic outside are nothing to Richard; he just sits and exists.
Somewhere, seemingly far away, a phone vibrates with an incoming text. Severin doesn’t reach out for it. After another few moments, he even shuts off the telly. Richard isn’t sure if he does it because the movie’s over, or because he’s gotten sick of it. Regardless, it doesn’t change anything. Severin isn’t getting up, and he doesn’t stop petting Richard, even though they’ve been sat there together for what seems like a very long time. The only other time Richard is able to hold Severin’s attention like this is when they have sex, and it slowly dawns on him what a suggestive position he’s put himself into. His cheeks turn pink and his face grows hot at the thought of it, and when he carefully opens his eyes to peek up at Severin, he can tell that his boyfriend knows what’s on his mind.
Neither of them says anything. Richard knows that he ought to say something, or sit tight where he is, or perhaps tell Severin thank you and get back up on the sofa… But he doesn’t. Instead, he closes his eyes again, and leans in closer, nuzzling Severin’s cock almost experimentally. The hand at the back of his head follows him but doesn’t steer, letting Richard go where he wants. When he gets there, Richard finds Severin’s cock soft – something which strikes him as a pleasant surprise, but quickly changes as he keeps nuzzling at it and kissing it through the fabric.
Severin’s hand stays on his head the entire time, gently guiding him but never forcing his motions, always petting and never pulling his hair. It doesn’t go away even when Richard leans back to open his fly and pull down his underwear, nor when he shifts forward again to wrap his mouth around Severin properly. It stays in place, gentle as ever, even when he swallows down Severin’s come. By then, Richard is so dazed and warm that he has no recollection of how much time has passed. For all he knows, he’s been on his knees for his entire life, and for all he cares, he could stay there for equally long.
It seems that Severin has other plans, though. After a few moments spent catching his breath, still petting Richard’s hair, he lets go to tuck himself back in. Richard spends these moments watching Severin’s face, the beautiful satisfaction on it, and he can’t help but think childishly to himself, I did that. It makes him feel warm inside, and proud, so when Severin reaches down to pull him up on the sofa, there isn’t any resistance in his limbs.
He ends up being spooned, held loosely by the man’s strong arms. Even though it strikes him as a little strange that he hadn’t noticed before, he slowly becomes aware that he’s hard, too. There’s a wet spot of precome at the front of his boxers and he marvels at it a bit, but doesn’t try and do anything for pleasure. It seems like he missed the window on that; Severin’s stroking the bare skin of his arm, now, drawing little circles and shapes on it. They’re both a little drowsy, he’s sure, so he doesn’t expect Severin to speak – and yet, he does.
“So… Where did that come from?” he wants to know, more curious than demanding, and for a moment, Richard is a loss for words. How is it possible that Severin doesn’t know that already? Then it comes back to him. He hasn’t told Severin yet.
“I like being on my knees,” he confesses, and then, boldened by the way Severin stays relaxed behind and around him, he takes a deep breath in and adds, “I really like being submissive, Sev.”
There’s a pause, during which Richard has another few circles and stars and hearts drawn on his skin with Severin’s gentle thumb, before finally, there’s a reply.
“I wouldn’t mind indulging you, sometimes, if you want.”
Richard’s heart beat speeds up. With some urgency, he moves around until he can face his lover, and see the earnest look in his eyes and the calm of his face. Severin means it, he can tell, and Severin knows what it means. Torn between wanting to throw himself into Severin’s arms and wanting to kiss him, Richard ends up putting his head in underneath Severin’s chin, and kissing his neck. From that position, Severin’s hand finds the back of his neck again, and starts drawing the same little patterns there. It makes Richard shiver.
“It doesn’t have to be always,” he adds, after another short silence. “But it feels nice, sometimes.”
He can hear the hum through Severin’s chest, can almost feel it in his own. It makes him feel safe.
“Just tell me when,” Severin says, fully relaxed underneath Richard still. Richard nods.
“I will.”