Work Text:
timer
Atsushi has just come back from walmart. He bought himself a clock ⏰ ‘Im so excited for this clock! its going to be the best!!’ Atsushi hurried home to show his emo boyfriend his new clock ⏰
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“omg atsushi youre so smart” Akutagawa gets up from his chair and greets atsushi. “thanks akutagawa now lets test this clock ⏰”
akautagawa smirks, he has a very good idea on how to test the clock. “atsushi how about while the clock is running we go around for an hour anf see if it rings when we come back from running around to see if the clock works” atsushi beams, “omggg youre rlly smart lets do that”
*it is currently 12am so the clock is gonna ring at 2am*
atsushi and akutagawa put their coats and walk down the street. they decide to try and do illegal activities so they try to break into dazais home. “okay so this window is open akutagawa, push me up.”
“ok”
atsushi successfully opens the window. while he tip-toes to the fronf door he sees dazai sleeping peacefully through his half open door. “omgggg hes so cuteeeee” whispers. he hears a high pitched voice behind him say “ohhh yes, daddy” he turns around to see chuuya with red eyes while also looking sickly. atsushi runs to teh front door and opens the door in a flash. akutagawa busts in and watches chuuya dance around the kitchen singing russian songs dostoyevsky taught him. akutagawa jumps and chuuya and ties him up. atsushi then goes to dazais bed room. ‘wow’ atsushi thinks while looking around dazais room. he looks over and dazai and gets on top of dazai staring down at him. he then puts his hands around dazais neck and starts choking him. osamu then opens his eyes to see atsushi choking him. he smiles and says “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” atsushi then gets out of his shinji kinnie mindset and gets off of dazai. “omggggg im soo sorry dazai” dazai replies with “dont worry it was very alarming which is good for ny muscles.” dazai and atsushi start laughing while hugging then dazai grabs his gun and points at atsushi. “PUT YOUR HANDS UP CAUDE THIS PARTY IS HOEING DOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN” chuuya busts in and starts hoeing down too!! atsushi got emotional from all the happiness he encountered. he looks over at dazais side table where you could finds gauze, bandages, glass strawberry cups, and a death note. atsushi takes everything and grabs akutagawa where they move onto the next victims house. its was of course, fyodor dostoyevsky’s home. “omggggg so cute” atsushi is amazed. akutagawa and atsushi go to the front door and walk up slowly, to their surprise fyodor left his home unlocked. atsushi and akutagawa started walking towards fyodors room when suddenly akutagawa startef coughing. it got so bad to the point where he startef honking. atsuhsi shushed him and continued walking. he opens fyodors bedroom to see dostoyevsky sitting him a chair and saying “i was awaiting you :)”
looking closely you could see how tired fyodor was. atsushi walked up to fyodor and said are you getting enough sleep 😴?” fyodor was surprised but regained his cocky attitude and got up from his seat. he walks over to his kitchen where atsushi follows. fyodor opens his fridge and shows him his collection of cheese. “you dont need sleep when you have cheese.” atsusi was amazed “omgggg youre so smart my little fyo.”
fyodor pins atsuhsi amd says “dont say that!!!!!!” fyodor was obviously blushing. akutagawa then attacked fyodor with a axe 🪓 (haha get the reference ;) ) “OWWWWWWWWWW” atsuhsi and akutawgaw run to the next house.
atsushi and akutagawa decide to go to moris house and kill him lol. they both sneak in and go to his kitchen. while atsushi is stealing all the cupcakes a cat appears and jumps on akutagawa. “omgggg why is there. a cat????”
akutagawa looks down to check. the cat leads them to a door where they hear muffled sounds. atsushi and akutagawa opens it to see their bosses playing chess. fukuzawa looks at them with shocked eyes. mori just stares and chuckles. “so when did you guys start breaking into other peoples homes?,” atsushi puts on a defensive face. “it’s probably a trend in your generation.” lolololololol
“that littleeeeee-“
“stop aku.... this... isnt like ... you...”
“ok”
next stop is higuchi and gins home. it will be a tough one.. :00
akutagawa suddenrtk gets rlly thirtsy so he goes to the kitchen and make himself some fig cupcakes. atsuhsi goes to the tv to watch some shows. “omg lets go to their bathroom” atsuhsi says. “okayyyyyyy”
when akutagawa opens the door he sees a ton of small dogs piled on top of eachother. they slowly close the door wnd move onto gin and higuchis room. their plan was to steal their pillows and leave. atsuhsi slowly walked to gin and took the pillow. higuchi grabs her gun and shoots and the cieling!!! “WHO IS THERE???” akutagawa runs 🏃♀️ along witj atsushi.
tired from all the running theu decide to go to mcdonals to get some figs and fries 🍟. right when they arrive home the alarm rings and off to bed they go.
the end!!!