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Donghyuck is dangerous. In the true sense of the word he's as harmless as a newborn puppy, with a loud bark and a bite that's nothing more than a nibble, so dangerous may not be the right word. But dangerous or not, Donghyuck always means trouble.

It isn’t anything new and Jaemin has known this for almost as long as he's known Donghyuck. But having that knowledge does not make it any easier to handle him and for how much he tries his best to not have to deal with him, it so happens that sometimes Donghyuck does manage to corner him.

The best strategy is to run away– it has always worked for Jaemin and Donghyuck never follows, not far enough to catch him anyway, lets Jaemin slip away as easily as he cornered him– because Donghyuck will push for as long as Jaemin lets him and never longer, but Jaemin has a hard time setting boundaries. So Jaemin plays along until Donghyuck slips in too close and then he turns tail and runs.

Jaemin knows it’s cowardly, can tell Donghyuck enjoys it tremendously when he forgets to be, when he’s a tad too slow to pull back and away. His eyes light up when Jaemin forgets himself and lets his touch linger, when he lets the anger he’s so used to swallowing down until it burns holes inside of him bubble up, when he indulges Donghyuck or himself or both maybe. But Jaemin has only just started to settle into himself, has only just come to terms with the fact that it’s easier not to want things and this is dangerous.

Donghyuck is dangerous.

“Okay, rock-paper-scissors, let’s go!” Mark says excitedly, shaking out a fist between them as all seven of them gather in a circle, the formation reflexive at this point, second nature even. Jaemin ends up right in front of Mark and a smile pulls at his mouth when he meets Mark’s eyes, his hand shaking with a nervous sort of excitement like this is some big event and he needs to win. Jaemin thinks it’s cute really, and he almost wants to bite on Mark’s cheeks when he mirrors Jaemin’s smile.

“No take-backs, the moment the loser has been decided the others have to leave immediately.” Donghyuck says in a conspiratorial voice, much to Chenle’s gleeful laughter, taking each of them in as his grin spreads even wider. He’s right next to Jaemin, so Jaemin only catches sight of his teeth and the pretty line of his smile from the corner of his eye, gaze set resolutely on Mark’s fist in the middle of the huddle.

“Alright, let’s do this, one, two-” Mark stops just before he says three, letting the charged silence stretch for a second longer as his eyes twinkle, “Three!”

Everybody shows their choice, but Jaemin looks at his closed fist and the open ones and v signs around him and not a second later Mark’s throwing his hand back as he asks for another. It takes a few tries, no winner nor loser managing to get chosen for a bit, but then Jaemin throws rock again– hasn’t bothered with another one– and all he sees around him are open palms.

The screams are immediate and Mark’s jumping on Jeno while Jisung pats Jaemin’s back and Chenle high-fives Renjun through his loud, manic laughter and in the sudden burst of sound Jaemin almost doesn’t notice the loud frustrated scream next to him and the other closed fist held close to his. He keeps staring at his hand for a moment longer, trying to make sense of what just happened, but when he finally looks at Donghyuck, he’s already looking back.

Jaemin’s nails dig into his palm as he watches Donghyuck’s open mouthed shock morph into something that almost looks like mischief when their eyes meet before he bursts into bright, easy laughter. Mark throws an arm around Donghyuck, his excitement at not having lost contagious, and Donghyuck easily leans back into him– touch clearly a language he speaks fluently.

“It’s between you and me now, Jaemin-ah.” Donghyuck winks badly, both his eyes closing, and then turns to Mark with wide, shiny eyes, “That’s unless hyung would like to join us too, you know, like a reliable leader.”

Mark just laughs, patting Donghyuck’s hair heavily enough that his whole head leans forward with each pat, but his smile doesn’t waver, “No thank you. You can be the leader if you want.”

Jaemin can’t help but snort at that and Donghyuck scrunches his nose at him, but he doesn’t get to complain about it before Chenle’s throwing himself between Mark and Donghyuck, a cat-like grin that can only spell trouble stretching wide on his face. Jaemin does not want to be involved in whatever Chenle’s planning, but if the glint in his eyes is any indication, there’s no escaping it.

“You know, I have a much better idea,” Chenle begins easily and Jaemin kind of wants to squeeze his cheeks, pull on the soft, pliable skin, but instead he just finally lets his stretched out arm drop and watches as Chenle tells them what is bound to be a horrible idea, “Why don’t you and Haechan stay behind together since you both lost? It’s more fun this way.”

Mark’s eyes widen and he’s immediately nodding along to the proposition, even though he’s not even involved in it at all, letting his hand drop from around Donghyuck’s neck to wrap it around Chenle’s waist, “That’s actually a great idea! You two can get it done quicker too if you’re together!”

Jaemin would much rather do it alone and he opens his mouth to say as much before he gets interrupted by Renjun telling them to hurry up and Mark quickly wishing them good luck and pulling Chenle along towards the entrance. Chenle turns to wink over his shoulder as he obediently lets himself be pulled along, a proper wink, and Donghyuck flips him off. Jaemin just sighs.

He looks around at the mess of dirty plates and leftovers and half empty cups and sighs again. He’s not entirely sure how everyone ended up gathering in their dorm, just knows he had barely woken up when Donghyuck barged in his room to get him to join them before Jeno dragged him out and told Jaemin to take his time. Before he knew it he was roped into helping with cooking and now cleaning up while the party moves to Chenle’s apartment because he’s worried his dog’s going to miss him if he doesn’t come back.

Jaemin doesn’t mind not being part of the party too much, has already had his fill of it, enjoyed everyone’s presence until all his energy for it ran out, but he’s not particularly looking forward to dealing with dishes and much less with Donghyuck.

“You can go ahead to Chenle’s place if you want to,” Jaemin says as he watches Donghyuck roll up the sleeves of his very soft looking sweater before frowning at them when they immediately roll back down and just outright taking off the sweater, “I can take care of this myself and just join you later.”

Donghyuck blinks at him, hair standing up at odd angles, frizzy from the sweater, “Mm, but I don’t want that.” Because of course he wouldn’t, when has Donghyuck ever chosen to be reasonable? “Plus you’re definitely not gonna join us if I leave you alone.”

Donghyuck’s left in only a white shirt as he thoughtlessly throws the sweater on their couch, so loose it might not even be his, and he doesn’t bother righting the crooked collar of it, the pretty line of his collarbone exposed as his sleeve reaches almost past his elbow. He’s staring straight at Jaemin, gaze confident and unwavering, like he’s certain he’s right or ready to argue it if Jaemin doesn’t agree, but when their eyes meet, his skitter away after barely a few seconds.

Jaemin doesn’t mention it, just shakes his head as he turns around to start piling up the plates, “We see each other daily anyway, I’m sure you’ll have fun even without me for a few hours.” It’s a sound argument, as Jaemin’s pretty sure Donghyuck could have fun in an apocalypse, and he hopes it’s enough to convince Donghyuck and get him out of here, so he can get this done and finally get back to his room.

Unfortunately, it never works out quite so easily when it comes to Donghyuck, and Jaemin sighs when Donghyuck makes his way around the table, leaning forward over it and properly meeting his eyes this time around, too stubborn to let himself look away even if Jaemin can make out a blush starting to bloom a sweet red over his cheeks. He looks pretty like this, dangerously so, determined and flushed with it and staring Jaemin down, and Jaemin’s fingers twitch as he holds himself back from reaching to turn Donghyuck around so he doesn’t have to look at him anymore.

“Well, I wanna have fun with you. So I’m gonna help you with the dishes and then hang out with you and there’s nothing you can do about that but enjoy it.” Donghyuck’s eyes are bright with it and this is exactly what Jaemin was trying to avoid in the first place.

Being alone with Donghyuck is never a good idea and Jaemin’s gotten so good at avoiding him that he’s not ready to deal with this anymore, with the whole weight of Donghyuck’s presence and absolutely no buffer between the two of them. He does stupid things when it’s just Donghyuck and him and Donghyuck always does the opposite of trying to stop it– sees the big, red button with all the warnings screaming not to press it and gleefully slams his hand down.

“I could kick you out.” Jaemin says, seriously considering it, but Donghyuck just shakes his head and points at Jaemin, index finger so close to his face that Jaemin could just lean forward and bite it clean off. Donghyuck doesn’t seem worried about the possibility of that happening one bit, his smile wide and very self-satisfied, clearly very pleased with the decision that he made all by himself.

“But you won’t. Now get to work so we can get this done faster.” Donghyuck doesn’t wait for Jaemin to argue it, just takes the plates from his hands and easily makes his way to the sink, humming under his breath as he turns on the water. Jaemin just stares at his back for a moment, briefly considers texting Jeno to come take Donghyuck away from here, but in the end he just sighs and starts gathering all the used cups.

Donghyuck’s surprisingly quiet while they clean up, handling washing the dishes while he lets Jaemin deal with everything else, the only sound filling the room the clinking of dishes, the running water and the song Donghyuck’s humming. It’s the one they’ve just started recording a few days ago and Donghyuck’s been adding little twists to it, his voice sweet and calming, nothing like the man himself.

“I can wash the rest if you want me to.” Jaemin says when he finishes wiping the table, voice low and careful as he makes his way to Donghyuck. He’s not wearing any gloves, even despite the clearly hot water, and he’s already gone through most of the dishes, careful with each of them, but very efficient– used to this.

Donghyuck just shakes his head, glancing over his shoulder for a second as he places another plate into the drying rack, “Nah, I got it. Thank you though, Jaemin-ah.”

He’s slouching, back bent even though the sink’s high enough that he could stand up straight and still do it comfortably, and Jaemin’s not quite sure what possesses him– maybe the comfortable quiet that’s settled over them, the way Donghyuck seems to know that Jaemin needs time to catch his breath after dealing with people, the way he smoothly took over the dish washing because he knows Jaemin hates it– but Jaemin finds himself pressing his palm to Donghyuck’s back to get him to straighten up.

He doesn’t, not immediately anyway, and Jaemin can feel him tensing under his fingers as he slowly slides his hand higher up between his shoulder blades, pressing on his spine as Donghyuck’s hands still under the running water. Neither of them say anything and Jaemin takes in the way Donghyuck’s breath hitches when he wraps his other arm around him, pressing his palm to his chest to pull him up, back to Jaemin’s chest.

“You should stand up straight.” Jaemin says, voice coming out entirely too low and quiet, but he can feel the way Donghyuck’s heart rate picks up under his hand, whole body tight in his arms, “Slouching is terrible for your back.”

Jaemin has no idea what he’s doing and he feels out of his depth in a way he only gets around Donghyuck. And yet he can’t get himself to pull back, Donghyuck’s warmth in his arms unfairly comforting, just like his voice and his perceptiveness and the way things come so easily to him, and Jaemin hates it. He wants to throw Donghyuck out the first window and feel like he’s in control of himself again.

But instead he just listens to the shuddering breath Donghyuck lets out, finally relaxing in his arms, back straight as he leans back into Jaemin, quick to gather himself. “Well, I guess not even I can be perfect.” he says, keeps his words quiet even though his voice is higher than Jaemin’s, sweeter too.

“Yeah, your personality ruins it for you, but this is something you can fix.” Jaemin presses just a bit more on Donghyuck’s chest when he leans his head back until he can rest it on Jaemin’s shoulder and meet his eyes, cheeks red and eyes bright, curious almost. When he’s the one doing the pushing he’s loud and unstoppable, but when Jaemin initiates anything, he settles down, lets Jaemin set the rhythm, something almost quietly inquisitive about him.

“My personality is stellar, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Donghyuck laughs and Jaemin can’t help the smile that pulls at his mouth, gaze fliting down to Donghyuck’s pink mouth, plump and shiny with lip balm, before he licks his own dry lips. “Plus you love my personality.”

Now that pulls a snort out of Jaemin, “In your dreams maybe.”

It doesn’t dampen Donghyuck’s grin one bit, maybe only serves to widen it even more, and he doesn’t look away from Jaemin as he shuts off the water, shifting a bit in Jaemin’s arms until he slides his hand from his back and brings it around to his front, both of his arms settling around Donghyuck’s waist. “In yours too, I’m sure. I must be a regular in them.”

Donghyuck fits just right in his arms, tiny waist perfect for Jaemin to wrap his arms around him, and he feels solid and real in ways he rarely does for Jaemin. Most days he just feels like a bad sort of a fever dream, loud and inescapable and yet utterly out of reach despite how close he always seems, like Jaemin wouldn’t be able to touch him even if he wanted to. He doesn’t let himself want that, but it plays in the background anyway, white noise as Jaemin deliberately doesn’t let himself look deeper into it.

“My nightmares maybe.” Jaemin says, just the tiniest bit distracted as he watches Donghyuck’s throat shift when he swallows, his head leaned back to reveal the long line of his neck, pretty moles winking at Jaemin. He’s slow to drag his gaze back up to Donghyuck’s eyes, but when he meets them there’s a darker shift to them, something more intent about his gaze.

His mouth curls into a pout, dangerous, dangerous, dangerous, and Jaemin swallows when he whines, “Now that’s just mean!” but there’s something more to his tone. He doesn’t sound particularly upset, not really, he just sounds sticky sweet and whiny, just the way he does before he asks Jaemin outrageous things, “So you have to kiss me to make up for it.”

Jaemin wouldn’t say he was expecting it, but years of practice and constant exposure to Lee Donghyuck mean he manages to rein in his surprise almost perfectly, the only indication that Donghyuck got to him, which he’s sure Donghyuck’s not going to miss, is the way his breath gets stuck in his throat for just a moment too long, and he tightens his arms around Donghyuck when he grins.

“Do I now?” he asks, voice perfectly steady, “What if I say no?” And he’s not really asking that, not exactly, because a no is a no and Donghyuck’s never going to push further, will only get in as close as Jaemin lets him, perfectly so, terribly so. Instead he’s asking because this is a game, because Donghyuck enjoys the push and pull, and even though all Jaemin wants to do is push, he finds himself pulling before he can stop himself.

“Then I am going to kiss you.” Donghyuck says around a giggle, so utterly pleased with himself that Jaemin wants to squeeze him, or worse, actually do what he’s asking. Jaemin should have never agreed to staying behind with Donghyuck in the first place, should have kicked him out when he had the chance or maybe not gathered him in his arms like some stupid monkey who does not understand that its actions have consequences.

Still, Jaemin’s not going to lose to Donghyuck of all people, not when he’s already so full of himself that Jaemin’s surprised he hasn’t burst yet, “Now don’t start making promises you’re not gonna keep.” Because Donghyuck’s better than anyone at talking, so good that Jaemin almost believes him sometimes, but he’s much more careful than he likes to make it seem, meticulously making sure that he’s not overstepping despite how loud and overwhelming he is.

Donghyuck huffs, scrunching his nose and opening his mouth to no doubt try to convince Jaemin that he’s wrong, maybe even succeed at it, but before he gets any of those words out, Jaemin’s leaning in. Donghyuck’s lashes flutter when he gets close, mouth half open on words he doesn’t get the chance to say, and Jaemin smiles before he presses a kiss to the fine skin of his collarbone.

It’s fleeting and barely there, but it pulls a tiny gasp out of Donghyuck when Jaemin lets his lips catch, tongue peeking out just the tiniest bit, just to feel Donghyuck’s skin break out in goosebumps under his mouth, muscles tensing despite how carefree Donghyuck’s trying to seem about all of this. Jaemin tightens his arms around Donghyuck when he places wet hands on his forearms, maybe as a warning, or just to steady himself, but he easily lets go when Jaemin steps back and away.

“Made up for it. Now get out of here before they come back looking for you.” Jaemin says quickly, trying to ignore the urge to pull Donghyuck back in, his warmth lingering as he rubs sweaty hands over his pants and turns around before Donghyuck can catch sight of his expression. He’s not even sure what face he’s making, but he’s sure he doesn’t want Donghyuck seeing it.

Thankfully, Donghyuck doesn’t follow him, but if Jaemin really lets himself think about it, he didn’t expect him to in the first place. There’s this precarious balance that Donghyuck’s trying to maintain between being the most annoying person in a room and the most considerate and no matter which way he gets pushed, he always sways back up. Jaemin wishes he would choose one and stick with it, but Donghyuck has never liked it when things are too simple.

His phone vibrates with a message when he closes the door behind him with a soft click and he stares at the question mark on his screen for just a moment too long before reading the question before it, can already imagine Jeno’s open, inquisitive face asking him if he’s okay. And it’s a weird question, because there’s no reason Jaemin wouldn’t be, not really, not in the way Jeno’s asking, so since Jeno’s not actually here to stare him down until he tells him something of substance he just locks his phone and lets himself flop down on the bed.

His peace doesn’t last long however and there’s a knock on his door not much later, Donghyuck’s face peeking in when Jaemin sighs and tells him to come in. He hasn’t bothered putting the sweater back on, but he has fixed his shirt so that it doesn’t sit crookedly anymore, the wide collar of it dipping low down his chest to show golden skin and a pretty mole lower down his sternum, one that rarely peeks out when Donghyuck’s all dressed up.

“Thought you left already.” Jaemin says, takes in the way Donghyuck’s mouth curls into a pout at that, spreading his arms in front of him and opening his palms wide at Jaemin. It makes Jaemin frown as he stares at Donghyuck’s overly pink hands, at the way the tips of his fingers are almost red, all wrinkly from the water, and he raises a brow at him when the sight doesn’t actually give him any insight on why Donghyuck’s still here.

“Look at my hands, Jaemin-ah, I can’t go anywhere like this!” Donghyuck whines, shaking them at Jaemin when he sits up properly. He doesn’t step further inside, door slowly closing behind him, and for once he’s actually sitting up straight.

Jaemin licks his lips, “And what do you want me to do about that?” He always seems to find himself going along with Donghyuck’s whims, sometimes without even realizing, and he barely glances at his phone as it vibrates in his lap, lighting up with yet another question mark from Jeno, “Maybe you should have worn gloves.”

“It’s much better to wash the dishes without them, what are you talking about?” Donghyuck scrunches his nose, wiggling his fingers for emphasis, “I just need some hand cream because they’re all dry now.”

Jaemin blinks, slow to catch up, but in the end he just sighs, “Come over here,” he says, because the faster he deals with this, the faster Donghyuck will be getting out of his room. Donghyuck’s expression brightens at that and he’s immediately making his way to Jaemin, stopping right in front of him before so smoothly getting down on his knees in front of Jaemin that for a second it almost doesn’t register for Jaemin, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Mm?” And Donghyuck doesn’t seem to find this particularly weird, or if he does, he’s very good at hiding it, intent on making Jaemin feel like he’s losing his mind as he cutely tilts his head to the side, “You don’t like other people on your bed though, do you?” he says, sliding his hands over Jaemin’s knees before turning them palms up in his lap, the way one would show that he’s unarmed.

Even if he had them tied behind his back, Jaemin wouldn’t be able to think of a person more dangerous than Donghyuck.

“When did I ever say that?” Jaemin asks, because he knows he hasn’t. The only time he let himself slip was when he was too tired for coherent thoughts and he came to his room shower warm and ready to sleep and found Jeno in his bed and supposedly made such a disgusted expression that Jeno couldn’t stop laughing for a solid five minutes.

(“You know, if you told people about the things you don’t like, they would know not to do them.” Jeno had said, getting off Jaemin’s bed without much fuss, nothing unpleasant about his wide smile and curved eyes.

“You already know about the things I don’t like.” Jaemin huffed, watching Jeno sit down in his desk chair before pulling Jaemin’s feet in his lap to massage at the sore muscles there, completely unaffected by the fact that Jaemin had basically kicked him off his bed. Jeno didn’t seem affected by much of anything really, so accepting that Jaemin even doubted him for a while, but he was either a fantastic actor or actually this good of a person.

“Yeah? What exactly?” And it wasn’t even accusing, or even insistent, the smile on Jeno’s face unwavering as he tapped on Jaemin’s toe and snorted when he wiggled it for him.

“Strawberries and dairy and strong smells-” Jaemin began, but he didn’t get far as Jeno easily followed up on that, digging his fingers into the arch of Jaemin’s foot and making him groan at the feeling.

“And other people sitting on your bed.”

It made Jaemin purse his mouth, but there was no winning with Jeno, not when he was made only of good intentions and pretty smiles, so he just sighed and poked at Jeno’s tummy with his foot, “And that, I guess. But you can still sit on my bed, Jeno.”

“I won’t.”

And Jeno didn’t, nor did he bring it up again, just knew not to do it.)

Donghyuck’s not the same, however, and he isn’t supposed to know, but he just shrugs, eyes wide and pretty as he meets Jaemin’s, suddenly able to hold his gaze when he’s trying to find something in it, “Don’t think you did, I just kinda figured that was the case.” His fingers twitch in Jaemin’s lap, like he wants to run them over his thighs, like he needs the contact, but ultimately he stops himself, shrugs as he says, “Honestly, it’s one of the least weird things about you.”

And it makes Jaemin snort, because he can’t deal with this right now, can’t give Donghyuck the satisfaction of knowing that he’s right, that he’s somehow managed to see through Jaemin even despite all his efforts to keep that from happening, “What’s the weirdest then?”

“Everything else.” Donghyuck laughs, just a bit breathless as Jaemin wraps his fingers around each of his wrists, rubs his thumb over the fine skin on the inside of it, maybe just to feel his pulse quicken under the pad of his finger. But touch doesn’t make Donghyuck tense, quite the opposite really, he seems to relax under Jaemin’s hands, like he’s been waiting for it.

Jaemin wishes he could bring himself to pull back, to let go and kick Donghyuck out of his room, but there’s something almost magnetic about Donghyuck, like Jaemin never had a chance in the first place. “Just come over here.” he repeats, using the hold he has on Donghyuck’s wrists to pull him up on his feet, before pointing with his chin towards the bed, “I’ll let you sit on my bed if you keep quiet.”

Donghyuck’s smile is enormous as his inquisitive gaze shifts into something brighter and he smoothly sits himself in the middle of Jaemin’s bed, on his knees as he sits back on his heels. He takes very little space like this, Jaemin’s comforter barely creasing under his weight, and yet his presence still feels overwhelming, making Jaemin feel like there’s not quite enough air with him in his room, in his bed.

“You’ll have to give me more than that.” Donghyuck says easily, predictably unable to keep his mouth shut as Jaemin rolls his eyes and makes his way off the bed to look for hand cream so he can get this over with.

Donghyuck doesn’t try to keep the conversation going when Jaemin doesn’t deign that with an answer, but he starts humming the song from earlier as he patiently waits for Jaemin, always managing to fill any room he’s in with sound. There’s the rumble of an incoming storm outside, the air heavy with the smell of rain as it flows in through the open window, but Donghyuck’s just barely louder than it is, not yet loud enough to be annoying, always straddling the line of too much, but never quite crossing it.

“Ah! How did you know that’s my favourite brand?” Donghyuck asks excitedly as Jaemin sits down in front of him, crossing his legs and gesturing for Donghyuck to give him his hands.

There’s no hesitation as he stretches them in front of him and when Jaemin grabs them in his, he immediately curls his fingers around Jaemin’s hands, maybe without even realising he’s doing it. Jaemin can never be sure with Donghyuck– whether everything he does is deliberate, purposely trying to mess with Jaemin, or just instinctive, touching and letting himself be touched because it helps him relax in a way Jaemin would never admit to.

“I didn’t.” Jaemin lies, wouldn’t tell Donghyuck that he smelled it on his hands and bought it for himself just to never use it because it reminded him too much of Donghyuck. He’s already dangerous enough even without Jaemin helping him out.

Donghyuck just hums, “Guess I’m just lucky then.” he says cheerily, smiling as he watches Jaemin squeeze out a bit of cream on the back of his hand to slowly start to rub it in. He could have just given it to Donghyuck and sent him on his way, but maybe Jaemin is actually a masochist and he enjoys the way being around Donghyuck seems to be making everything harder.

“How lucky could you be when you literally lost at rock-paper-scissors and ended up having to wash the dishes?”

Donghyuck’s knuckles are pink and his skin is terribly soft as Jaemin starts rubbing the cream into it, starting from his wrist and slowly making his way down the back of his hand and over his knuckles all the way to his knobby fingers. He can feel Donghyuck looking at him, hand completely relaxed in his hold as he lets Jaemin handle it, but Jaemin keeps his eyes resolutely on his still slightly flushed fingers.

“Very lucky since I got to spend time with you.” Donghyuck’s voice doesn’t waver when he says it, but when Jaemin looks up to meet his eyes, he can only hold his gaze for barely a moment before it’s skittering away and he’s laughing breathlessly.

“And you were making fun of Jeno for his bad jokes.” Jaemin snorts, sliding his fingers between Donghyuck’s, hand warm in his as Donghyuck squeezes back, fitting his palm to Jaemin’s and making it so much harder to spread the cream. He’s a little pink in the cheeks, focused on the way their hands fit together, and Jaemin can’t help but stare for a second, holding on for just a moment longer before he untangles their fingers and watches Donghyuck’s lashes flutter over his cheeks before he’s looking up again.

“That’s a false accusation! I love Jeno’s bad jokes!” And there’s something completely dizzying about the way Donghyuck doesn’t try to hide himself, flush deepening on his cheeks and hands hesitating to let go when Jaemin pulls back, eyes intent like he doesn’t mind being vulnerable, like it doesn’t make him any weaker.

Jaemin swallows and tries not to linger on the fact that it serves to somehow make him even more dangerous. “And yet you still call them bad.” he says as he slowly presses his thumb into the arch of Donghyuck’s palm, watching his expression shift as he lets a tiny contented sound slip out at the feeling.

“Not even my love for them or Jeno himself can change that unfortunately.” Donghyuck says as he grabs onto Jaemin’s thumb, grinning at the unimpressed stare he levels him with before easily letting go and offering his other hand. “But honestly now, I really do enjoy spending time with you.”

“More like you enjoy bothering me.” Jaemin’s hands feel a little tingly, warm and a bit sticky with cream and despite the open window, his room still feels a bit stuffy, like he can’t quite breathe properly with Donghyuck so close. There’s the rumble of thunder outside as he takes Donghyuck’s other hand in his and squeezes out some cream on the back of it, warning Jaemin that he should be closing his window before it actually starts raining, but he puts it off for a little longer as he focuses on the feeling of Donghyuck’s hand in his.

“Maybe, but I do it very cutely.” Donghyuck bats his lashes at him, wincing when Jaemin squeezes just a bit too hard on his hand, but not really trying to pull it out of his grasp. Neither of them bothered with opening the overhead light when they came in and with the gathering clouds outside, the only proper source of light is Jaemin’s bedside lamp, so it serves as a backlight for Donghyuck’s pretty smile, illuminating the back of his head like a halo and making some frizzier strands stand out.

It makes Jaemin want to run his hands through his hair, feel it slide between his fingers and watch Donghyuck’s eyes widen, but he swallows the bubbling need down, licking at his lips instead. They’re always terribly dry and Jaemin runs his tongue over the particularly dry spot at the corner of his mouth, fingers slowly working the cream into Donghyuck’s skin.

“You should stop doing that.” Donghyuck says softly and Jaemin’s fingers still on his hand, but when he looks up, Donghyuck’s staring at his mouth instead with a tiny frown, his brows drawn together, “It’ll only make it worse.”

“So what do you propose?” Jaemin doesn’t look away as he slowly watches Donghyuck’s gaze travel up his face to stop on his eyes and he raises his brows at him when they meet, resuming the gentle massage on his hand as Donghyuck scrunches his nose at him.

“I don’t know, maybe use lip balm like normal people.” Donghyuck says, squinting his eyes at Jaemin when he snorts, so expressive as he tilts his head to the side, “Or maybe that won’t work for you since you’re definitely not normal.”

Jaemin completely ignores that statement, because playing along with Donghyuck is always more trouble than it’s worth, and he focuses instead on the subject at hand, “Haven’t managed to find one that works for me.”

Donghyuck blinks at that, “You should give the one I’m using a try then.” he says after a second, pursing his mouth to emphasise his pink lips, all smooth and shiny with it. And it’s probably a lapse of judgement, or a combination between the heavy air and Donghyuck on his bed and his hand in Jaemin’s and the smell of Donghyuck’s hand cream between them, but Jaemin’s leaning in before he can stop himself, close, close, close until he can feel Donghyuck’s breath on his face, the way it catches in his throat.

“Yeah? Will you let me?” he asks lowly and there’s a flash of lighting as he stops just short of touching Donghyuck, illuminating his wide eyes and flushed cheeks, followed by a clap of thunder and the inevitable downpour, loud and unstoppable even with all the warning that came before it. Jaemin should have closed the window, but it’s too late now– can’t bring himself to look away.

Donghyuck swallows and Jaemin’s eyes flit to his throat, to the way it shifts as he swallows, before slowly looking up to stop at his mouth, just slightly parted as his pink tongue peeks out to lick at it. Jaemin knows he should be pulling back and getting out of here or kicking Donghyuck out of here, but instead he stops breathing entirely when Donghyuck brings a hand up to fist in the collar of his shirt– warm and still a bit sticky from the cream Jaemin rubbed into it as his knuckles brush his skin.

“Yeah, but only the first time is free.” Donghyuck says easily, words just a little breathless as he pulls Jaemin in. And Donghyuck’s a liar because it isn’t free nor is it the first time, but his lips are soft and warm and lip balm smooth when they press against Jaemin’s and he can’t focus on anything else as Donghyuck’s mouth slides against his.

Because kissing Donghyuck has always been easy in a way dealing with Donghyuck and the man himself have never been and despite Jaemin telling himself that he shouldn’t be doing this, Donghyuck makes it so hard to stop. It’s always been like this– Donghyuck pulling out the worst impulses from Jaemin and somehow managing to make Jaemin’s self preservation instincts fly out the window when he’s around– and yet Jaemin can’t seem to learn no matter how many times it happens.

So he lets Donghyuck pull him in and part his lips until he can fit Jaemin’s lower lip between his own, slow and teasing and much too soft until Jaemin’s biting down and Donghyuck’s hold on his shirt tightens. It’s all very familiar and Jaemin can’t help but be reminded of dark practice rooms and late hours and Donghyuck’s incapability to shut up and he finds himself digging his teeth in, sucking on his tongue until he’s whining and Jaemin’s pushing back.

Donghyuck lets himself be pushed, carefully chooses when to push back, and falls back into Jaemin’s bed when Jaemin leans into him, thighs parting to let Jaemin fit between them and free hand sliding around the back of his neck as he pulls on his shirt hard enough that Jaemin’s sure he’s going to stretch it. Jaemin constantly feels stretched thin around Donghyuck so it feels almost ironic that Donghyuck would make sure that his clothes match.

(“Taking a break when it feels like too much does not make you replaceable.” Donghyuck says, ice cream in his hand and a determined expression on his face, voice barely louder than the music as Jaemin catches his eyes in the mirror.

He isn’t even supposed to be here, Jaemin made sure everybody left before he went back to practicing, but if there’s something about Donghyuck, it’s him being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jaemin just sighs and walks over to stop the music, knows he wouldn’t be able to focus with Donghyuck’s eyes on him anyway. “Didn’t you leave earlier with Mark-hyung?”

He can’t exactly keep the annoyance out of his tone, but Donghyuck doesn’t even blink, placidly licking at his ice scream as he takes Jaemin in with a much too knowing gaze for Jaemin’s comfort. “Yeah, but you know how he is. We happened to meet Ten-hyung on our way out and obviously he had to show him his latest choreo, but Mark-hyung promised we would eat together, so I didn’t wanna leave without him and now I’m here.”

“To bother me.” Jaemin says as he rubs his sweaty hands on his pants, the room overly quiet without the booming music that had been keeping Jaemin focused. When he’s not running through the choreo and trying to catalogue any mistakes he might be missing, it’s harder to ignore the twinge in his back when he moves. He manages to keep his expression neutral at least, because the last thing he needs is Donghyuck figuring it out.

“Only if you look at it like that.” Donghyuck points his ice cream at Jaemin, quickly bringing it to his mouth before it can drip on the floor and smiling around it, lips shiny red, “You might also see it as me offering you my invaluable company.”

“Mm, then if I pay you, will you get out of here?” Jaemin uses the hem of his shirt to wipe at the sweat beading on his temples, grabbing a bottle of water as Donghyuck purses his lips like he’s considering it. Jaemin knows it can never go that well with Donghyuck so he just lets himself sit down, back against the mirror as he tries to ignore just how cool it feels against his sweaty back.

“Nope, sorry, I enjoy bothering you too much for that.” Donghyuck grins, towering over Jaemin as he stops right in front of him, the tips of his sneakers almost touching Jaemin’s calves. Jaemin has to tilt his head back to meet his eyes and Donghyuck’s smile only widens when he does, laughing when Jaemin levels him with an unimpressed gaze and just pulls his laces open.

“I’m not Mark-hyung though.” Jaemin says, can’t stop himself. Today has been weird and Jaemin’s already stretched too thin and Donghyuck’s presence and his smile and overly familiar, sweet smell are not helping one bit.

Donghyuck either doesn’t notice the cutting tone however or he ignores it, and Jaemin almost considers just getting up and leaving when Donghyuck plops himself right next to him, thigh pushed against Jaemin’s knee when he pulls his legs up to his chest. He can see him in the mirror in front of him, but it’s too far to make out his expression and Jaemin doesn’t want to check it for himself.

“No worries there, you’re plenty fun to bother too. Actually hyung has gotten pretty used to my teasing lately, so it’s not as fun as it used to be and I’m considering finding other targets, you know, branching out.” Donghyuck says, words a little mumbled around his ice cream. Jaemin can feel his eyes on him, can see him turned towards him in the mirror, but he keeps his eyes resolutely forward, doesn’t want to meet Donghyuck’s eyes and find something there that Donghyuck can’t quite put into words.

It’s easier to focus only on the words, familiar too, nothing like the uncharted territory of Donghyuck’s body and the way he seems to instinctively know the language Jaemin understands best. So he keeps talking, pushing back in a way that’s almost become safe, second nature even, “So I’m next on your list?”

Donghyuck shifts closer to him, just a bit, not yet touching him, but he’s close enough that Jaemin can feel his warmth, both of them wearing short sleeves in the overly hot practice room. “Maybe. It wouldn’t be a surprise anymore if I told you.”

“I hate surprises.” Jaemin says and finds himself shifting the rest of the way so their arms brush and he shivers, skin breaking out into goosebumps. Donghyuck’s just a bit colder than he is, having not spent the last half hour running through their choreo, and so his skin is not sweat damp, but rather soft and completely smooth.

Jaemin can’t make up his mind about whether he wants to push Donghyuck away or pull him in until they’re touching everywhere, but he’s not sure he wants to either, doesn’t know if he’ll be able to live with the conclusion he comes to.

“Jaemin-ah,” Donghyuck says, voice just a bit lower, careful even, and Jaemin blinks when he leans forward and into Jaemin’s space, his smile having shifted into something a tad more serious, the ice cream nowhere in sight, “I meant what I said earlier.”

Jaemin swallows, because Donghyuck’s words are clear in his mind, annoyingly so, sticking to his thoughts much like the man himself, but Jaemin has always been good at running away, “About wanting to bother me? Or about me being almost as fun as Mark-hyung to bother?”

But Donghyuck seems intent on meeting him head on, “About you not being replaceable.” he says and Jaemin makes the terrible mistake of meeting his eyes, gaze dark and intent and unwavering in a way that makes Jaemin dizzy, a way that Jaemin’s not quite ready to deal with right now.

“It doesn’t matter if you mean it or not, the only one irreplaceable in this room is you, Haechan. If I fuck up again, who knows for how long they’ll keep me around.” And it’s a bit too honest, but with their practice piling up and recordings stretching long into the night and no time for Jaemin to just catch his breath, he’s been feeling off in the worst way possible. It’s unfounded for the most part and he’s aware of that, but he can’t help but think back to when he was sidelined for so long that he wasn’t even sure he would be coming back.

Donghyuck doesn’t say anything for a moment, but then he’s moving and Jaemin barely gets any time to figure what’s happening before Donghyuck’s throwing a leg over his and settling himself in his lap like he belongs there, knees on either side of Jaemin’s hips and face suddenly so close that Jaemin stops breathing for a second there. Jaemin’s fingers twitch by his sides and before he can even stop himself he’s sliding his hands over Donghyuck’s thighs, maybe only to make sure that this is actually happening.

“You know that’s not true,” Donghyuck says, cupping Jaemin’s face between his hands and squeezing on his cheeks until he meets his eyes, gaze so terribly determined that Jaemin can feel his stomach twist inside him, and for once, he’s not looking away. Jaemin wishes he would. “You’re as important as any other member and there’s nobody we could do without and you getting hurt is not your fault, so if you don’t stop beating yourself up over that, I’ll beat you up myself.”

Jaemin can’t help but laugh at that, at the absurdity of this situation, “You scream when Jeno squeezes your hand a bit too tight, I don’t think you would do much damage.” he says, voice a bit weird, breathier than expected and low enough that he’s not even sure Donghyuck can make it out even with how close he is, breath warm on his face. His hands slide higher up Donghyuck’s thighs when he shifts and Jaemin squeezes at the muscle there before he can stop himself.

It makes Donghyuck’s lashes flutter and he presses on Jaemin’s cheeks until his lips pop out in something like a pout which Donghyuck immediately mirrors, “It would be focused damage though, very precise and very deadly.” he says, frowns when Jaemin keeps laughing at him and leans forward until he can not so gently press his forehead to Jaemin’s, “I’ll show you right now if you don’t believe me.”

“And what would you do?” Maybe Jaemin doesn’t actually want to know, maybe the proximity to Donghyuck and the way he can’t focus properly on his expression with how close he is, going cross-eyed trying to hold his gaze, is messing with his head. Jaemin has always tried his best to keep his distance, but Donghyuck’s so good at finding the parts of the least resistance in Jaemin’s carefully put up walls that Jaemin almost never sees it coming.

“Now that’s a surprise, telling you would just ruin it.” Donghyuck’s voice catches on the words when Jaemin slides his hands higher up his thighs until he can wrap them around his waist and pull him even closer. He’s so warm and he feels so right under Jaemin’s hands that he has half a mind to just push him away and run until he gets rid of the nonsensical thought of wanting to keep Donghyuck all to himself.

“Told you I hate those.” And the problem is that Jaemin has no idea where these urges are even coming from, because Donghyuck is so loud and awfully bright and so much that Jaemin just wants to tie him up somewhere far from himself most of the time. But then Donghyuck will figure out things about Jaemin that he’s been trying to ignore himself and look at him like he knows what he needs and let Jaemin touch him like he knows that it grounds him almost as much as it makes him feel untethered– so totally out of control of himself that he doesn’t know how to stop anymore– and then Jaemin won’t know what he wants anymore.

Donghyuck smiles, pulling back until he can properly meet Jaemin’s eyes, and gently cups his jaw with one hand while he slides the other higher, dragging warm fingers over his ear until he can pull on it, just a bit, just enough for Jaemin to bite down on his lip as he tries his best to avoid Donghyuck’s eyes, “But it’s okay since you love me.”

Jaemin snorts at that, can’t help but meet Donghyuck’s eyes to show him the disbelief in his, “Now that’s a surprise.” he says, raising his brows at him even though it makes something flutter inside his chest, a weird, almost uncomfortable feeling like his lungs aren’t sitting properly inside his ribcage anymore.

“But the good sort. Doesn’t it just make you wanna kiss me?” And it’s so absurd that Jaemin can’t help but laugh, pulling Donghyuck even closer in his lap as Donghyuck tugs on his ear, smiling like he’s somehow won, though Jaemin has no idea what.

He knows it’s meant to be joking, but there’s something else to Donghyuck’s expression, a certain hesitation to the glint of his eyes like he’s not quite sure how Jaemin will take it. It’s something Jaemin only gets to see when it’s the two of them, the confidence that comes from playing it up for the camera nowhere to be found, and the softness of Donghyuck’s bare face, open and sweet, makes something twist inside Jaemin.

He can’t find it in himself to push Donghyuck away when he’s like this, and even though he knows he shouldn’t– knows it’s going to be more trouble than it’s worth in the end– he can’t help but want to indulge Donghyuck, “Maybe. Do I get something if I do?”

Donghyuck grins, his expression brightening like Jaemin turned on a switch, and Jaemin’s arms tighten around him, “As if there’s anything better than kissing me. Maybe you should be the one giving me something in exchange.”

Jaemin doesn’t even get to protest before Donghyuck’s pulling him in, suddenly much more confident. He stops just short of kissing Jaemin, lips a breath apart, and for a second he just waits, eyes fluttering closed when Jaemin just pulls him even closer, arms wrapping all the way around his waist. It’s electric, the slide of Donghyuck’s mouth against his, and for a moment Jaemin almost forgets why he’s been avoiding this.

Donghyuck’s hand slides into his hair, fingers gentle as they pull on the strands for a better angle and Jaemin can barely breathe under the sweet weight of Donghyuck’s mouth. There’s none of the desperation that Jaemin was expecting, everything about kissing Donghyuck dizzyingly soft, tentative even, like for once, not even Donghyuck knows what he’s doing.

And Donghyuck takes his time, lets Jaemin slowly get used to the feeling, his lips plump and terribly soft under Jaemin’s, parting easily when Jaemin runs his tongue over the seam of his mouth, letting Jaemin in like it’s no big deal, like they’ve done this before and they both know where this is going. Jaemin has no idea, but there’s something comforting about the way Donghyuck’s fingers dig into his scalp, pulling him even closer like he can’t stop himself, like he wants more.

He tastes like the ice cream he was munching on when Jaemin slides his tongue against his, overly sweet and soothingly cold, the slight tang of the green apple maybe making saliva gather in Jaemin’s mouth. It only makes Donghyuck suck on his tongue, tilting his head back and licking over the back of his teeth and sliding his tongue over the soft skin of his cheeks, unexpectedly sensitive as Donghyuck explores his mouth like he’s been waiting for this.

It’s wet and warm and so sweet that Jaemin feels dizzy and yet he can’t bring himself to pull back even when he feels lightheaded from the lack of air and the smothering proximity to Donghyuck, and when Donghyuck is the one to pull back, he has to stop himself from leaning back in.

“See?” Donghyuck asks, flushed red and panting like he’s been running, lips swollen from Jaemin’s mouth and eyes bright, making it very hard for Jaemin to hold himself back when he has Donghyuck in his arms, so close that Jaemin can smell his breath, can feel the warmth of it on his face on each exhale, “Don’t you think I deserve a reward for how good that was?”

And this is dangerous, because Jaemin wants to argue it, but it’s much too hard when he can feel the taste of Donghyuck’s stupid ice cream when he licks his lips, “So what do you want then?”

Jaemin wants more even though he knows he shouldn’t and being around Donghyuck is making it very hard to remember why he shouldn’t, why this is a bad idea in the first place, because Donghyuck is overwhelming, bright and unstoppable and Jaemin’s already burning like he’s gone out in the sun and completely forgot to wear sunscreen.

Donghyuck tugs on his hair a bit, thumb slowly tracing the line of Jaemin’s cheekbone, smile stil wide even as he tilts his head to the side, eyes travelling between Jaemin’s mouth and his eyes like he’s unsure what he wants to look at more, “I’ll only tell you if you promise to do it.”

Jaemin shouldn’t, “Okay, I promise, just tell me already.” But he’s an idiot and Donghyuck’s smiling and Jaemin wants to taste that smile because he has already found out how easily Donghyuck melts when he sucks on his tongue just right and he wants to try it out again.

It’s so easy to forget why this is a terrible idea when Donghyuck beams at him and leans in to press a tiny, soft kiss to the center of his mouth, but it wouldn’t be Donghyuck if he didn’t do something to remind him, “Want you not to practice anymore when your back hurts.”

And he says it so easily that it almost doesn’t register for a second and Jaemin blinks, eyes fliting to Donghyuck’s mouth as he tightens his arms around him. He hasn’t been moving much with Donghyuck in his arms, so there’s only a dull ache radiating from his lower back towards his neck and he’s mostly been ignoring it, but it comes to the front of his mind in sharp focus at the words, and he frowns. “How did you know?”

Donghyuck just shrugs, “I know a thing or two about hiding pain,” he says softly, letting his hands drop to Jaemin’s shoulders like he can somehow tell he’s panicking, like he can see through Jaemin no matter how carefully Jaemin’s been making sure that nobody could, “And I know you, Jaemin-ah, even if you make no sense to me.”

He tries to soothe the blow with a smile, light and easy and making Jaemin’s hair stand on end, “No you don’t.” he says, voice too rough even despite how hard he’s trying to keep it level, and Donghyuck’s expression shifts, like it’s clicking for him that he took a wrong step, but there’s also confusion there, like he’s not sure which one it was. Jaemin’s not going to wait around for him to figure it out. “Get off me.”

Donghyuck barely hesitates, quick to listen when he’s still trying to make sense of things, and he looks up at Jaemin with wide eyes when he stands up, frowning when Jaemin can’t fully hide his wince at the twinge of pain from the sudden movement, “Are you okay, Jaemin-ah?”

He almost laughs at the question, but it wouldn’t do to have Donghyuck reading any deeper into this, so he just smiles, the widest, best smile he can muster and tilts his head towards the door, “It’s getting pretty late, so you should probably check on Mark-hyung. We both know he could go all night if you let him.”

“I’m sure hyung can handle himself,” Donghyuck says, blinks when Jaemin offers him his hand, but takes it nonetheless and easily stands up, frowning when he immediately lets go and takes two steps back. He can barely stop himself from rubbing it on his pants to get rid of the feeling of Donghyuck’s soft hand, the sweaty warmth of it, but Donghyuck’s eyes flit to it nonetheless, frown deepening, “Hey, for real now, what’s wrong?”

“Just go, Haechan. I’m not gonna practice anymore, so there’s no need for you to hang around.” Jaemin says, just a little too sharply, and Donghyuck just keeps staring at him for a moment, expression making it clear that he has quite a lot to say about that, but thankfully, in the end he just sighs and lets it drop.

“Don’t forget to close the lights behind you.” he says, as if he doesn’t take all the light with him when he leaves. It’s okay though, since Jaemin’s always felt much more comfortable in the darkness where he doesn’t have to make sure he’s not crossing any lines or showing off the wrong image.)

“Eating my lip balm is not gonna make your lips feel any more hydrated.” Donghyuck giggles when he pulls back, holds Jaemin close by the collar of his shirt, barely letting him pull back enough for them to catch their breath.

The only place of contact between them is Donghyuck’s hand fisted in his shirt, his knuckles brushing his skin, and yet Jaemin can feel his warmth everywhere, wants to pull Donghyuck’s legs around him and slide his hands in his hair and lean down and kiss him until he can’t breathe anymore and Jaemin feels intoxicated with the taste of him. It’s also exactly why he shouldn’t be doing it, because anything that makes him feel so utterly out of control is dangerous.

“You sure?” Jaemin asks, can only feel the sweet, smooth taste of Donghyuck’s lip balm when he licks his mouth, “My lips feel pretty wet.”

It makes Donghyuck slap his shoulder, but he’s also laughing, pulling Jaemin back down for more. His mouth’s already open and he whines when Jaemin sucks his lower lip between his own, biting down on it before he soothes it with the flat of his tongue. And the problem is that Donghyuck has this way of letting Jaemin make the first move before he reacts, always giving Jaemin time to make up his mind and decide if he wants to keep going, that makes Jaemin’s head spin.

Jaemin almost wishes that Donghyuck would take the lead instead, that he would push Jaemin and take and take and take from him until he couldn’t even think anymore. Then he would at least be able to blame Donghyuck if he took it too far, if it was too much, but as it is, Jaemin slides a hand in Donghyuck’s hair and tilts his head back and tries not to think about how much he wants this, how little he wants to pull away from the sweet comfort of Donghyuck’s mouth and have to face everything he’s been trying his absolute best to avoid.

“Thought only the first one was free,” Jaemin says against Donghyuck’s mouth, not really pulling back even though they’re both panting, their breaths overly hot in the space between them, “Or is kissing me so good that you can’t stop?”

And it’s mostly meant to be teasing, something about kissing Donghyuck making him forget his filter, but then Donghyuck meets his eyes, pupils blown dark and cheeks flushed red and he smiles like he knows something Jaemin doesn’t, “Yeah. I like kissing you very much.” he says, so honest and open and easy that something twists inside Jaemin, ribcage pressing on his lungs like it’s not quite big enough to contain them, “And I think you do as well.”

Jaemin can’t breathe. There’s a second there where he just stares at Donghyuck, tries to think of a way to prove him wrong, to come up with something to deny it, but Donghyuck’s lips are swollen red from Jaemin’s mouth and he’s spread out in Jaemin’s bed and Jaemin can’t breathe. He’s not even accusing him of anything, as Jaemin doesn’t think there’s anyone who would be able to say they hate it after kissing Donghyuck, but there’s something more to his gaze, like if Jaemin agrees, he’s going to reveal something about himself that he hasn’t even acknowledged to himself.

He opens his mouth to say something, anything really even though he has no idea what will come out, but before he gets any words out there’s a knock on his door, three soft taps, followed by a pause and the door clicking open and Jaemin freezes.

“Ah,” Jeno says when he peeks inside, eyes stopping on Donghyuck in Jaemin’s bed. He hides his surprise almost perfectly, eyes barely widening before he’s blinking at Jaemin, “Sorry.”

And he’s already moving to close the door, but Donghyuck’s sitting up before he gets the chance, “Did something happen?” he asks softly, hair standing up where Jaemin’s fingers tangled in it, legs on either side of Jaemin’s hips. He looks thoroughly kissed, nothing subtle about his flushed pretty cheeks and his red lips, shiny with Jaemin’s spit, but he’s not trying to hide himself, fingers still curled in the collar of Jaemin’s shirt.

“Ah, not really, you just weren’t picking your phone, so the kids got worried something might have happened.” Jeno’s eyes stray to Jaemin’s face, not holding his gaze for more than a second before he’s meeting Donghyuck’s eyes and smiling all wide and pretty, “But I guess everything’s alright, so I’ll just let the two of you be. Sorry for interrupting.”

“No, no, Jeno-yah, there’s no need for you to leave.” Donghyuck says easily, finally turning around to face Jeno properly, swinging his legs over the edge of Jaemin’s bed and letting go of his shirt. Jaemin’s fingers twitch by his side and he has to swallow down the urge to pull Donghyuck closer to him, his stretched collar warm from Donghyuck’s fingers, “I’ll go tell the kids that everything’s fine myself.”

“There’s no need-” But Donghyuck’s already standing up, patting Jeno’s shoulder on his way out, a brilliant, way too wide smile pulling at his lips as he glances at Jaemin before easily closing the door behind him. “What- what was that?”

Jaemin just huffs and lets himself fall back into the bed, the sound of the rain through his still open window the only thing filling the heavy silence between them, hard to ignore no matter how hard Jaemin’s trying to, “Just Haechan. You know how impossible he is to deal with.”

“And yet you seemed to be doing pretty well.” There’s no inflection to it, no teasing tone or amused tilt to Jeno’s voice, yet Jaemin still finds himself flinching, can feel the heavy weight of Jeno’s gaze on him. But Jaemin wasn’t dealing with Donghyuck, quite the opposite really, he was making it so much worse.

He doesn’t know how to explain that to Jeno however, who’s smiling serenely at him when he sits up on his elbows, having easily sat himself down in the middle of Jaemin’s room, legs crossed and hands grabbing his ankles, “How so?”

“He was sitting on your bed.” Jeno says lightly, doesn’t mention that Donghyuck was splayed out on said bed, that he was flushed red, that Jaemin was between his legs, because Jeno’s not trying to accuse Jaemin of anything, even if he has all the evidence.

Jaemin licks his lips and they taste sugar sweet, like Donghyuck’s lip balm, “Yeah, well, he’s an idiot who has no concept of personal space.”

“Mm, really now?”

There’s a flash of lightning, flooding the whole room with it before the low rumble of thunder builds until it crackles and Jaemin sighs and gets up to finally close that damn window, pulling his blinds closed for good measure. He can still hear it, the gentle pitter patter of it against the windows still too loud to ignore, but he focuses on Jeno’s open expression instead. He glances at his bed for a second before ultimately sitting down in his computer chair, leaning back as Jeno blinks at him.

“What do you actually want me to say?” Jaemin asks, because Jeno is too nice for his own good and he’s going to skirt around the core problem until Jaemin gets it, never one for direct confrontation. But Jaemin is tired and he doesn’t want to get it, and yet kicking Jeno out feels like too much, even more so since Jeno would most likely not even protest.

Jeno blinks, leaning back on his hands with an unreadable expression, “Nothing. I guess I’m just sorry I interrupted you, that’s all.” He’s good at hiding what he’s feeling, just like Jaemin is, but their motivations could not be more different. Jeno doesn’t want to upset anyone, while Jaemin just doesn’t want to be the one getting upset– doesn’t want to give enough for people to know what can hurt him.

“It’s okay, I was going to stop anyway. You just made it easier for me, so no need to apologise.” At least Jaemin likes to tell himself that he would have been able to stop himself even without Jeno interrupting them, that he could have looked at Donghyuck’s pretty mouth and prettier eyes and pulled his shirt from his grasp.

“Why would you do that?” Jeno asks and there’s an open sort of confusion there, like he genuinely doesn’t get it. He looks like he wants to get it, however, like he wants to understand where Jaemin’s coming from, but Jaemin’s not sure he will. He’s always been good about understanding Jaemin, or at the very least respecting what he doesn’t get, but Jaemin still hasn’t gotten any better about opening up to him.

He licks at the corner of his mouth, where the skin feels the driest, and holds Jeno’s gaze as he waits for him, always so patient, maybe even more so than Jaemin deserves. Why would you do that? Because Donghyuck is dangerous, because he makes Jaemin forget himself, because he laughs when Jaemin pushes him away, but doesn’t try to step any closer than he lets him. Because Jaemin wants nothing more than to pull him in and Donghyuck makes it at once both so terribly hard and irritatingly easy.

He can’t quite bring himself to say any of that outloud– feels like something he shouldn’t be allowed to say, something that reveals more than Jaemin’s comfortable with– so he goes with the obvious answer, the more important one, “What do you mean why? This is Haechan we’re talking about. Lee Donghyuck? There’s no way that’s gonna work out.”

Jeno just stares at him for a moment, gaze steady and intent, like he’s waiting for Jaemin to keep going, like he’s waiting for a but even when there is none. Jaemin just holds his gaze and tries not to shrink under the weight of it, “Mm, okay then.” he says then, as softly as always, and yet Jaemin can’t help the anger that bubbles up at that.

Jeno’s good at keeping things to himself, but he’s not much of a liar and there’s no mistaking the fact that he’s not buying it one bit. He’s clearly not planning on saying that to Jaemin’s face, however, no matter how obvious he’s being about it and Jaemin can’t quite swallow down the anger that rises up at the fact that Jeno might think he can’t take it. “What? Just tell me, we both know you have more to say on the subject.” he snaps, leaning forward on his knees as Jeno just blinks at him.

Jaemin thinks that Jeno’s not going to rise up to it for a second, always so infuriatingly patient, but then he’s sitting up straighter, not looking away from Jaemin for one second, “I think you just like telling yourself that because you don’t want to accept that it could work out.” he says, so easily and definitively in that low, gentle tone of his that Jaemin almost deflates, muscle memory at this point, “You gave Haechan a finger and you’re terrified that he’s going to take your whole hand, but this entire time he’s just been tightly holding on to that one finger.”

And if it were Donghyuck, or anyone else for that matter, Jaemin would maybe try to come up with a convincing enough lie, but this is Jeno and he’s not going to fall for it, “You’re full of shit.” Jaemin settles on in the end and it makes Jeno laugh, throwing his head back as he lets himself relax.

“Maybe, but I don’t think you’re one to talk.”

“I’m not scared of Haechan.” he insists, wanting to have this if nothing else, but Jeno just keeps smiling at him, just as certain in his opinion as Jaemin is in his, and Jaemin doesn’t really want to think about who’s actually right.

“Okay. Just tell me when you actually want to talk about it and I’ll be here okay?”

“There is nothing to talk about!”

Jeno just laughs and waves Jaemin away as he stands up, dusting his sweats off on the way out, “Goodnight, Jaemin-ah.”

There really isn’t anything to talk about and Jeno seems to accept it for the most part, doesn’t even mention it again, but he does stare at Jaemin a bit more pointedly than usual when he starts avoiding Donghyuck. The thing is that he’s not even avoiding him, not really, he’s just not talking to him much, or interacting with him when he doesn’t have too.

It’s nothing too obvious, as Jaemin has never been huge on interacting with anyone for that matter, and between recordings and never ending practices and the stress of upcoming promotions, he runs out of energy much quicker than usual, so he doesn’t really make nice with anybody. They don’t even bother him about it, with the exception of Mark, who takes his leader role a bit too seriously at times and more than that doesn’t like people being left out and isn’t as used as the others are to Jaemin’s utter lack of energy.

The best one about it is actually Donghyuck. He doesn’t bat an eyelash when Jaemin outright turns around and leaves when they’re close enough for a conversation and instead he just moves on to the next willing person to bother. This is more of a recent development, as before, Donghyuck was actually the most annoying one when Jaemin tried to ignore him.

It’s something of a cycle really, Jaemin tries to stay as far away from Donghyuck as possible, and mostly succeeds, until he doesn’t anymore and he ends up doing very stupid things which remind him why he was trying to stay away from Donghyuck in the first place and he goes back to avoiding him. The first time was the hardest, as Donghyuck wouldn’t understand why Jaemin would want to avoid him after kissing him and he was so awfully obnoxious about it that Jaemin swore not to do it again.

He has broken that so many times now that he doesn’t even try to convince himself anymore that this will be the last time. Maybe it’s inevitable after all, maybe despite how far away he wants to stay from Donghyuck, he still needs his stupid Donghyuck dose, like some sort of addict who keeps going no matter how much it fucks him up.

It doesn’t help that Donghyuck has gotten much better about it as well, giving Jaemin as much space as he needs before slowly making his way back, fitting himself under Jaemin’s skin like he belongs there. Sometimes Jaemin doesn’t even get to push him away before Donghyuck’s stepping back and away, not letting himself linger anymore, and sometimes, some very rare times when Jaemin almost forgets that he shouldn’t want this, he finds himself wanting to reach for Donghyuck to pull him back in.

He never does in the end, but the urge still burns hot inside him no matter how much he tries to stifle it. It somehow gets worse every single time they do this, like Donghyuck’s getting better and Jaemin’s getting worse about it, and Jaemin wonders how bad it will have to get before he finally stops entirely.

“How is it possible that none of you have any?” Donghyuck whines loudly enough that even Jaemin looks up from his phone to see what’s happening. They’re all trying to catch their breath before they go back to practice and Donghyuck’s almost on the other side of the room, surrounded by Mark and Renjun and Chenle who’s just grinning as he hangs off of Mark.

“Why would we have any?” Mark asks, never one to back off when it comes to Donghyuck, eyebrows raised high, “Since when do you even use hand cream?”

Donghyuck snorts, shoving his hands in Mark’s face to most likely show them off, “Since forever. While it hurts me that you haven’t noticed, how do you think my hands would be so soft and nice smelling and just perfect otherwise?”

It’s Renjun that grabs them instead, just as Jeno makes his way to them to see what the fuss is all about, “Say that after you stop chewing on your nails.” he says, but his frown turns into a grin easily enough as Donghyuck pouts at him.

“That has nothing to do with how soft they are! And how is it that the one time I need it, you don’t have any hand cream on you? You traitor!” Donghyuck complains, using the hold Renjun has on his hands to shake him a bit.

“It’s not my fault! Jisungie took it out of my bag this morning when he was looking for something and forgot to put it back! How am I a traitor?” Renjun’s tone is getting louder with every word and Donghyuck’s smile is growing proportionally. The culprit in question is closer than Jaemin is to the group, but he’s still keeping himself safely away, fidgeting a bit as he smiles tentatively while watching them argue back and forth.

The argument strays from the core problem– mostly Donghyuck’s fault, always way too fond of riling Renjun up– but after watching them with a serene smile for a while, Jeno finally steps in to put them back on the right track, “If you’re looking for hand cream, I think Jaemin might have some.” he says gently, glancing at Jaemin with such a perfectly angelic smile that he can’t even get properly mad at him for turning the attention to Jaemin.

“Ah, right, Jaeminie.” Donghyuck says, turning towards him with a perfectly bright smile which Jaemin returns with one of his own, a camera perfect one, all teeth, “My favorite person in the whole world.”

Jaemin can barely stop himself from snorting at that, grin unwavering as he watches Donghyuck take a step towards him. He has the hand cream he lent Donghyuck in Jeno’s bag, Donghyuck’s favorite brand, so Jeno could have easily given it to him, but he chose not to. He’s smiling when Jaemin glances at him, clearly content with his ploy, so Jaemin just smiles wider, “Sorry, just have my airpods and phone on me.”

He raises his hands for emphasis, shows how he’s not hiding anything in them, and Donghyuck just sighs dramatically before easily turning around to go back to bothering Renjun. Jeno keeps looking at Jaemin however, staring with that same pointed look he reserves for moments like this, but Jaemin just keeps showing him the sharp line of his smile until he shakes his head and turns back to the others.

He waits until he’s sure nobody’s paying attention to him anymore before he quietly beckons Jisung over. He was clearly contemplating joining the others in their little huddle on the other side of the room, but he easily comes when Jaemin calls him, smiling at Jaemin cutely as his hair flops over his forehead.

“You’re not gonna join them?” Jaemin asks easily, letting his smile melt into something warmer, something reserved for Jisung as he takes a seat in front of him. The newly purple hair suits him, though Jaemin’s not sure there’s any color that wouldn’t suit Jisung’s cute face, the lighter ones just making him look even more adorable.

“It seems tiring, so no. Practice is already tiring enough since I’m trying to pace myself, so I’ll pass this time.” Jisung has been waiting for quite a bit to join practice, basically buzzing every day after his doctor gave him the okay, but he’s been told to take it easy for a bit. So despite how badly he clearly wants to give his all, he’s been letting himself ease into it.

Jaemin just laughs, can relate to the tiring part, although his reasons couldn’t be more different, “Then will you do me a favor?”

Jisung blinks, pushing his hair back from his eyes just for it to fall back over his forehead, the strands stiffer from bleach and standing up cutely, the frizz almost making it seem like he has a halo. “What will you give me in return?”

Jaemin badly wants to run his hand through it, “That’s not how favors work!” he laughs, leaning in to pout at him, “Is that how you’re going to treat your hyung?”

“My favorite hyung!” Jisung says, so very easily appeasing Jaemin, and he blinks when Jaemin finally gives in and reaches to ruffle his hair, making it stand up at odd angles, disgruntled expression even cuter like this.

“Okay, you got me, tell me what you want in return.” Jaemin settles on in the end, laughing when Jisung’s expression immediately brightens at his words. The purple really reminds Jaemin of a grape and he’s having a very hard time holding himself back from just eating Jisung whole.

“Want you to cook dinner tonight! Anything I want!” He sounds very excited about it, so Jaemin finds himself agreeing even before the words register, his smile wide on his face.

“Okay, deal. Now for my end of the-”

“No, no, hyung, you have to promise, pinky promise so you can’t take it back!” Jisung’s already offering Jaemin his pinky and his smile is huge when Jaemin just stares at it for a second before laughing and finally crossing his pinky with Jisung’s. It’s shorter than Jisung’s, but thicker and colder than his and Jisung squeezes it for a second before he tries to pull back, but Jaemin keeps it there.

“Woah, you’re gonna do a pinky promise but not seal it with a kiss?” he asks sweetly, exaggerating his tone when Jisung just blinks at him before scrunching his nose. His ears are endearingly pink, but in the end he fits his knuckles to Jaemin’s and presses their thumbs together.

“There, now it’s sealed, so you can’t take it back.”

“Only if you do me my favor.” Jaemin loosens his grip and they both relax their hands, but they keep their pinkies loosely intertwined between them, Jisung’s eyes wide and attentive. Jaemin has gotten better about not babying Jisung all the time, but he’s always so cute that Jaemin has a hard time keeping himself back from just pulling on those cute cheeks of his.

“Right, right, so what’s the favour?” Jisung asks, staring at Jaemin as he pulls Jeno’s bag open with his free hand and digs around until he finally finds what he’s been looking for. He does glance around to make sure nobody’s watching before he pulls it out, but Jisung’s expression twists into a confused little frown as he brandishes it to him, “That’s hand cream?”

“Yup. I’m not gonna use it though, so I need you to put it in the vicinity of Haechan’s bag without him knowing.” Jaemin says, keeps going even as Jisung’s frown deepens, “And if he finds out, just tell him it’s from you.”

It’s not an absurd request, no matter how unsubtle Jisung’s expression is in making it seem like that. Jaemin’s just not going to use it and it would be a waste to just throw it away and Donghyuck’s clearly in need of it, so it makes sense that he would want to give it to him. Jaemin just doesn’t want to give it to him himself.

And maybe that says something, something that Jaemin simply refuses to think about, and maybe in a way this is a win for Donghyuck, even if he may not know it. But Jaemin will gladly take his loss in this battle if it means winning the war.

“But why.” Jisung says, no inflection to his voice as he just stares at Jaemin like he’s lost his mind. He absolutely hasn’t and he’s pretty sure he’s done weirder things before– much weirder, so that nothing he ever did would look out of place when everything was already out of place– but Jisung just keeps staring, like this is the one thing he can’t understand about Jaemin.

“Just give him the cream, Jisung-ah, and you get to eat whatever you want tonight, ok?” He briefly wonders if Jisung would get it if he knew, or if he would just find it even more absurd, but in the end Jisung lets it drop and just nods.

He looks completely suspicious as he makes his way to Donghyuck’s bag, looking around like someone’s after him and Jaemin’s not sure if he should cry or laugh. He doesn’t get to ponder much on it however as Mark suddenly stops in front of him, crouching so he can meet his eyes and smiling when Jaemin raises his brows at him.

“What drink would you like?” Mark asks easily, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning closer as Jaemin just stares at him. His hair is a mess, frizzy curls and matted strands and still wet tips from his sweat, but it somehow only adds to his charm and Jaemin licks the corner of his mouth, something about the eager brightness of Mark’s smile making him want to look away. Or lean in until it’s too much.

“Suddenly?”

Mark just shrugs, fixing his glasses on the bridge of his nose, “Lost a bet with the kids so I’m buying everyone drinks. You can ask for anything and I’ll get it for you.”

It’s a pretty stupid bet to make, all things considered, because Mark would just buy everyone drinks if only you asked him to, but despite how much everybody loves to tease Mark, none of the punishments for him are things that he wouldn’t really do. Still, Jaemin can’t help himself, “A car.”

And it makes Mark burst into laughter, loud and bright and making him lean forward with it, “Do you even have a license?”

It’s not a no, even if it should be the obvious thing to say, the question somehow even more absurd than Jaemin’s request, “Will you buy me one if I get it?”

Mark purses his mouth, whole face scrunching as he seriously considers it for a moment, much too serious, “Maybe for your birthday?” And he doesn’t even look like he’s joking, something entirely too earnest about his expression. It makes something squeeze inside Jaemin and he lightly pushes Mark to get rid of the feeling, getting up when Mark falls on his ass with a tiny sound.

He’s always so very loud. It’s a different loudness than Donghyuck’s, however, because Donghyuck is perfectly aware of how much noise he’s making at any given point, turning it up or down depending on the situation, while Mark just has no idea. It makes Mark endearing, in a completely oblivious sort of way, and it also makes Jaemin want to be loud in turn, though there would be nothing unaware about it.

It’s a baseless urge, stupid and childish, so Jaemin swallows it down and offers a hand to help Mark up with a smile, “I’ll come with you, hyung, to help you with the drinks.”

Mark doesn’t hesitate before taking Jaemin’s hand, grasp warm and just a bit sweaty even if he mostly stands up by himself, “You sure? I don’t mind going alone.”

“Nah, I wanted to get some air anyway, so it’s perfect timing.” It’s a lie really, Jaemin wanted to move as little as possible until they had to go back to practice, but somehow he can’t help himself. Mark just beams at him, doesn’t doubt it one bit, not that he ever would, and throws an arm around Jaemin’s neck, pinching at his cheek as he pulls him along.

Jaemin just leans into it, has never been able to bring himself to push Mark away. Maybe because Mark never expects to be pushed away, or maybe because he wouldn’t mind it even if he did, or maybe because Jaemin wishes his touch could be as warm as Mark’s.

Jaemin just licks his lips as Mark starts humming one of the songs he’s been into recently and glances at Jisung on the way out, having briefly forgotten about the hand cream. He’s next to Donghyuck’s bag, but Donghyuck is next to it as well, having thrown an arm around him similarly to how Mark has and he’s smiling brightly. Jaemin didn’t really expect Jisung to make it without being discovered, but Donghyuck’s not looking at Jaemin, so at the very least he must have told him that it’s from Jisung.

Maybe he should have just thrown that stupid cream away.

“Did something happen between you and Haechan?” Mark asks after the door closes behind them, letting Jaemin go so he can properly look at him.

Jaemin just keeps walking, trying not to let his surprise show, “Eh? Why would you think that?'' His voice veers into an overly polite tone and he can feel Mark’s gaze on him as he easily matches his stride with Jaemin’s.

Mark just shrugs, bare arm sliding against Jaemin’s skin, “I don’t know. You two have been kinda weird since we left you alone last time, so I was thinking maybe Haechanie said something stupid, or like, I don’t know. Guess I just wanted to ask.”

Jaemin swallows. They haven’t been weird, not any weirder than they usually are at least, but this is Mark Lee and for how oblivious and dense he can be sometimes, he’s surprisingly sharp when it comes to them, awfully good at figuring out when things slip out of line. How very leaderly of him.

“Weird in what way?” Jaemin asks instead of answering, stubborn despite the fact that he’s painfully aware that Mark has only good intentions. Donghyuck didn’t even say anything, not in the way Mark is thinking, something stupid, because that’s something that Donghyuck saves just for Mark, knows exactly how to rile him up and knows Mark’s just going to keep falling for it even if he sees it coming.

It’s different with Jaemin, Donghyuck doesn’t fight fire with fire. If he said things just to annoy Jaemin, this would be much easier and Jaemin could just ignore him and move on. But it’s nothing so simple and Donghyuck has a way of finding out exactly how to get under Jaemin’s skin, how to get him to do stupid things without thinking twice, how to make him forget that they are stupid in the first place. Jaemin wishes Donghyuck just said something stupid.

“Mm, just weirder than you normally are?” Mark says, vaguely gesturing as Jaemin raises a brow at him, “I mean, you two have always been weird and hard to figure out, but you’re kinda different to each other, like the way you act. And now you’re avoiding each other, which is somehow weirder.”

And yet he seems to be figuring them out just fine. “I don’t act different towards Haechan.” Jaemin likes to believe he doesn’t at least. He has actually been avoiding Donghyuck, but he never thought anyone else would figure it out as he has never been one to seek out Donghyuck, not obviously, not where other people can see, and even now, he just never let himself be alone with Donghyuck, nothing too extreme.

Different. Jaemin wonders what gave that away, what exactly gave Mark that impression.

Mark just frowns at him, a confused little frown as his brows knit together and his face scrunches up in something like disbelief, “Dude, for real?”

Jaemin licks his lips, can barely stop himself from biting on the dry skin, “Nothing happened between me and Haechan.” he says in the end, because he doesn’t want to deal with this, doesn’t want to think of how obviously different he is around Donghyuck when Jaemin’s always been so good at hiding.

“That’s okay,” Mark says after a beat and his voice is full and confident, reliable, “I just thought I’d ask. It’s better if you two can resolve it yourselves without anyone else intervening.”

Jaemin bites down the there’s nothing to resolve because there’s nothing wrong on the tip of his tongue and tilts his head to the side, “When would you intervene then?” It’s none of Mark’s business really, but they’ve all been into each other’s business for so long that it’s second nature at this point and Mark’s overly helpful nature does not help either.

Mark just scrunches his nose, “If either of you asked me or if it started getting in the way of our schedules or practices I guess.”

“How very leaderly of you.” And this time Jaemin actually says it outloud. It makes Mark glance at him, something to his gaze that Jaemin can’t quite read despite how much of an open book Mark tends to be. It seems there are things not even Mark Lee wants people to know about himself.

“I like to think that I do it as a friend,” he says softly, like he’s not quite sure he wants to say it outloud, “But whichever’s easier for you to rely on.”

Jaemin doesn’t deign that with an answer, mostly because Mark is already infuriatingly reliable, always so cute and perfect and yet still so steady whenever they need him to be. Stupidly, it makes Jaemin want to drag him down, but he’s aware of just how absurd that is, so he just easily swallows it down, used already to the ridiculous flashes of unfiltered envy.

Instead, he wraps himself around Mark’s back when he orders drinks for all of them, leaning into him when he reaches for Jaemin’s hair and mindlessly pets the soft strands while they wait. Mark’s so warm that Jaemin almost wishes he could burrow himself under his skin, make himself small and live inside him for a while, but he makes do with kissing the side of Mark’s neck and letting the disgruntled little giggles wash over him as Mark mostly does a terrible job of pushing him away.

When they make it back to the practice room, Donghyuck’s already waiting for them, immediately jumping to take the drinks from Mark’s hands, so Jaemin makes himself scarce, doesn’t want to deal with that right now. Donghyuck doesn’t stop him, barely even glances at him, but when Jaemin makes his way to the corner of the room, he finds an overly familiar lip balm placed carefully right next to Jeno’s bag.

There’s nothing else to it, no indication of who might have left it or why and when Jaemin glances at Donghyuck, he’s still not looking at him, stubbornly trying to kiss Renjun as he keeps his drink away from him. Jaemin has half a mind to just throw it away, but before he can bring himself to do it, he’s already opening it and rubbing it into his lips, the smell and taste of it almost as fresh in his mind as the feeling of Donghyuck’s mouth on his.

Jaemin bites the inside of his cheek and just slips it in his pocket, neither of them mentioning it even when he takes it out later in the car and Donghyuck’s gaze lingers for just a second too long before he’s looking away, eyes set decisively on the familiar scenery as it passes past them. It’s raining again so Jaemin just lets the familiar pitter patter of it wash over him and goes to sleep.

It doesn’t change anything between them, Jaemin just keeps himself away from Donghyuck– acting perfectly civil in front of the cameras– and bites down on the need to step closer every time Donghyuck carefully maintains the distance Jaemin has decided on. It works out for the most part, as they’re both way too busy with practicing and all kinds of schedules to deal with each other, but Jaemin has no doubts that something’s going to snap at one point.

He just doesn’t expect it to be him.

A few days before their jacket shooting, their clothes for their shoot arrive for them to try on so they can get them fitted, nothing new about it as one of their coordinator noonas ushers them into a room to get them changed. They have several outfits for the different locations, but they try them on fairly fast, the staff making quick work of writing down what needs to be fixed and marking up the little changes for them to fit perfectly.

Jaemin’s only half paying attention to the chatter around him, mindlessly watching as Donghyuck tugs on Jeno’s overly loose collar and laughs when Jeno tries to pull it up only for it to fall back open, but then he’s given his last outfit and Jaemin freezes.

“You can keep your shirt on, I just need to see how it fits.” one of the noonas tells him and Jaemin swallows, making quick work of his pants and replacing them with the new ones. It’s a floral themed suit and the color matches Jaemin’s hair perfectly, but it only comes with the pants and the jacket.

It fits Jaemin almost perfectly, he just needs the pants trimmed a bit, and the coordi noona looks him up and down appreciatively before writing something down and telling him that he can change now. The only problem is that that’s all there is to it, no shirt underneath and only one button on the jacket to close it.

Jaemin swallows down the nausea that bubbles up in his throat and runs his hand over the front of his shirt. He hasn’t been working out lately, not consistently anyway, and while he’s been watching his diet, practicing late into the night leads to them snacking on things that should definitely not be allowed.

It’s no excuse really, as Jeno has been consistently working out, would probably not have to worry for one second if they told him he has to take his shirt off for their stages, but Jaemin hasn’t. Jaemin has let himself get carried away even though his body is the one thing he’s expected to consistently take care of and he can’t help the panic that claws its way between his ribs to dig into his lungs and make it hard to breathe.

He’s running through the benefits of a crash diet, trying to calculate how little he can eat without fainting while also keeping up with practice and additional gym hours, before he looks up and finds Donghyuck staring at him. His expression is unreadable, eyes dark as he holds Jaemin’s gaze, taking him in like he can tell what Jaemin’s thinking. He can’t, Jaemin knows as much, but his stomach still twists and he turns away before Donghyuck gets any ideas and tries to talk to him.

Nobody else notices it thankfully, although Jeno levels him with a pointed stare when he doesn’t even touch his food that night, but he doesn’t say anything– is probably aware that nothing he could say would change Jaemin’s mind. He goes to sleep with a growling stomach and a pounding headache and sore muscles from pushing himself too hard, but he manages to fall asleep at the very least.

It’s probably a mix of all those things and a touch of nauseating relief that the next day– when they’re asked to try on the clothes that the staff has gotten around to modifying and he’s given a white top to go with the floral suit– the first thing Jaemin does is ask why.

“Ah the top? We thought it would work without one, but Haechanie told us that you’d prefer having one.” she says, motioning for Jaemin to turn around so she can make sure everything fits well, “We have other options, so if you’d like to try some of the other ones, just tell me.”

Jaemin swallows, mind moving slowly as the words register to him. He’s not really looking at anything, but then his gaze drifts to Donghyuck before he can help it and Jaemin finds Donghyuck staring at him. Donghyuck’s mouth curls into a wide smile when their eyes meet, winking very badly at Jaemin before melting into a bout of giggles as one of the noonas tries to fix his shirt.

“No, it’s okay, thank you very much.” Jaemin says, smiling politely when she looks up to show him a thumbs up.

It works perfectly with the suit and in the end everybody seems to agree that it looks better like this, yet when Donghyuck makes his way to him after the fittings, falling into step with him easily, eyes bright and smile even more so, Jaemin can’t help himself, “You know that was none of your business, right?” he asks, tone just the slightest bit snappy. It’s subtle enough that most people wouldn’t notice it, but Donghyuck’s always been particularly good at picking up the subtlest of cues.

His smile doesn’t budge, but his eyes glint with something Jaemin can’t quite figure out, “If that’s your way of saying thank you, then it really sucks.”

Jaemin’s lips taste like Donghyuck’s stupid lip balm when he licks them, for once smooth instead of crackly under his tongue, and Donghyuck’s not really close enough for their arms to brush, but it’s enough for Jaemin to feel his warmth and smell his annoyingly sweet perfume, “It’s my way of saying that you should mind your business.”

Donghyuck just snorts, letting the back of his hand brush Jaemin’s, maybe only to piss him off, “You know, being stubborn is only cute for a while before it gets annoying, Jaemin-ah.”

“You would know everything about being annoying, wouldn’t you?” Jaemin’s skin feels prickly and Donghyuck’s presence is not helping, yet Jaemin can’t bring himself to step away, not when all Donghyuck has done is let him. Their knuckles keep brushing with every step and Jaemin’s trying very hard to stop himself from just grabbing Donghyuck’s hand.

“I’m sure you could still teach me a thing or two.” Donghyuck says, laughing when Jaemin simply doesn’t reply to that and leaning in even closer, smile wide when Jaemin shivers, “Just so you know, I’m not gonna apologise for helping you out.”

And Jaemin stops at that, clenching and unclenching his fists as he tries to ignore the feeling of Donghyuck’s skin on his. It’s the reason he doesn’t like it– letting Donghyuck touch him, touching Donghyuck himself– because it always lingers, like a burn, setting Jaemin’s skin on fire, so very hard to ignore no matter how much he tries. He keeps wanting more too, like the pain of it somehow only registers to his brain and not the rest of him, his body seeking Donghyuck out.

“I never asked for your help.” he says, lower than intended, voice raspy and quiet in the empty hallway as he meets Donghyuck’s eyes properly. Their conversations always seem to go in circles, round and round and round because Jaemin refuses to give Donghyuck what he wants. It never deters Donghyuck however, as it seems to annoy Jaemin more than it does Donghyuck.

“That’s because you’re an idiot and you’d rather die than ask me for help.” Donghyuck steps closer and it takes everything Jaemin has not to step back, or even worse, even closer, “I’m just wondering when you will realise that it’s okay to tell us when things make you uncomfortable.”

Jaemin swallows, tries not think of what Donghyuck saw in his expression yesterday that he felt it necessary to intervene, wonders how he can make sure that it never shows again, but he can’t think properly when Donghyuck’s looking at him like this, unwavering as he takes him in. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t care enough to be uncomfortable.”

“Sure.” he says, agrees so very easily that there must be a catch, “You don’t care and you don’t start avoiding me every single time it slips out that you might and you don’t try your best to make sure that nobody figures out that you actually do.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” It makes bile rise up, bitter and terrible as Jaemin swallows it down, clinging to the back of his tongue as he tries to keep himself steady even when he can feel his heart picking up in his chest, so very loud, giving away too much when Donghyuck already knows so much.

“Mm, really? I think I know even better than you do.” Donghyuck says and Jaemin can’t deal with him, never could, can only ever run away as far as possible.

“Being an idol must have really gotten to your head if you think you know everything, Lee Donghyuck.” he says, low, intent, terrible, “The world doesn’t revolve around you, no matter what ideas of greatness are going on through that head of yours, and just because you’re uncomfortable with your own body, it doesn’t mean everyone needs to be.” The words are acid on his tongue, burning the whole way out, but he can’t seem to stop even if he knows it’s a low blow, even if he can see Donghyuck’s eyes widening, not expecting it. He’s moving before he can even make the conscious decision to, stepping back and away, as far as possible, “Just leave me alone and mind your own business.”

Donghyuck doesn’t try to stop him, doesn’t even move to follow him and Jaemin just keeps walking, steps quicker until he’s running. He can only get so far, can’t just drop everything and go somewhere far away, never really could, no matter how much he wishes to. Ultimately he ends up in their manager’s car, waiting for the other members to be done so he can go home, lock himself up in his room and not have to think of anything at all.

He shared the car with Donghyuck and Renjun on the way here, but the one that pops his head in is Jeno, smile sweet and unassuming, and even though he must know something’s up, he doesn’t prod, doesn’t ask Jaemin anything, just sits next to him and lets him be. It’s one of the many things Jaemin appreciates about Jeno, but it also makes him wonder if Jeno’s giving him space because he knows he needs it or because he thinks Jaemin’s just too much to deal with.

It’s a stupid thought, Jaemin knows, even if he can’t help but consider it, because he’s the only one that would think like that– not Jeno, never Jeno– but sometimes he wishes he wasn’t the only one.

It starts raining again by the time they get back to the dorm, like the weather’s somehow out to annoy Jaemin too, loud and relentless even after he closes his window and pulls the blinds closed as well. Fortunately, it’s not that late, so he doesn’t have to worry about complaints as he turns on his music, the bass loud enough that it makes his bed shake when he lays down in it and closes his eyes.

The better idea would probably be to eat something and go to sleep, but Jaemin just lays there, can’t be bothered to move or even mess around on his phone. Donghyuck’s stupid face keeps popping up behind his lids, his sharp eyes and easy smile, so Jaemin just presses a pillow to his face and tries to think of something else, anything really. Nothing would be the best option, but his brain rarely cooperates.

“This would be a pretty pathetic way to go.” Donghyuck says suddenly, voice loud enough that Jaemin hears it over the music, startling him out of his thoughts. For a second there he almost thinks he made it up, as pathetic as that would be, but when he pushes off the pillow from his face there Donghyuck is, peering down at him from the side of his bed.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asks and it’s not his finest moment, but Donghyuck doesn’t even flinch, just keeps staring down at him as he shrugs. Maybe Jaemin is making this up, maybe he’s just locked in an overly vivid daydream. Or nightmare, maybe his brain’s just torturing him.

“I knocked. Not my fault you had your music on way too loud to hear it.” It’s not a real answer, doesn’t even have anything to do with Jaemin’s question, “One day I’m gonna steal some of your speakers. What are you even doing with so many?”

“Making sure I can’t hear you.” The room’s dark enough that Jaemin can barely make Donghyuck’s expression out even as he sits up on his bed so he can’t look down on him anymore, but he’s keeping it carefully neutral. Jaemin doesn’t think he’s doing as good of a job at it.

He’s not even sure if Donghyuck dropped by his dorm before coming over, but his hair is damp, a few strands clinging to the side of his face, and he’s wearing one of Jeno’s shirts, its sleeves reaching past his elbows. There’s nothing threatening about his presence and yet Jaemin can’t help but feel like he’s too big somehow, staring down at him as Jaemin tries his best to keep himself from slipping.

“Doesn’t seem to be working though.” Donghyuck says, smiling when Jaemin turns off the music and turns on his bedside lamp, maybe only just to make sure he’s not actually making this up.

“Not my fault you’re terrible at shutting up.”

He steps back when Jaemin moves to the edge of his bed, knees almost touching Donghyuck’s legs before he easily moves back and makes his way to Jaemin’s chair, sitting down in it and letting it turn around once before he meets Jaemin’s eyes, “I like saying what’s on my mind.”

But that’s not really true, because for how much Donghyuck likes to talk, he doesn’t let much slip, not what he wants nor what he’s thinking. It’s why Jaemin has so much trouble dealing with him– he doesn’t really know what to expect, doesn’t even know how to keep himself from saying something he can’t take back when Donghyuck can be so good at coaxing it out of him.

“And yet you’re not telling me why you’re here.” Jaemin says, watches Donghyuck tilt his head back on his headrest and look at Jaemin down his nose, considering him. It makes Jaemin want to turn that chair around, or throw something at Donghyuck’s face, but instead he just sits and waits, holds Donghyuck’s gaze steady.

“After you so rudely told me to leave you alone? Guess it just made me want to bother you more.” There’s a challenge there, shining in Donghyuck’s eyes and pulling at the corner of his mouth and Jaemin swallows.

“Get out of my room, Haechan.” He’s not quite sure which counts as loss with Donghyuck between agreeing that he’s bothering him or trying to deal with Donghyuck, but the last thing Jaemin wants to do is to let Donghyuck know that he actually wants to win.

“Not before you apologize.”

Jaemin blinks, can barely stop himself from moving back when Donghyuck stands up, makes his way to him, smile so easy on his face, letting nothing show, “I don’t feel particularly sorry.”

“Mm, why don’t we make a deal then?” he asks, stops just in front of Jaemin, not quite touching him as he stares Jaemin down, eyes a few shades darker. Everything about his face looks unfairly soft, all gentle lines and sweet curves and his skin is all dewy with skincare and it betrays absolutely none of his intentions, contrasting with the sharp glint of his eyes.

“Why does it feel like it’ll be unfairly rigged in your favor?” Jaemin says instead of no, like an idiot, and his breath catches in his throat when it only makes Donghyuck’s smile widen.

“Well how about you hear me out first and decide if you’re in after that.”

“If I don’t like it will you get out of my room?”

“Sure.” Donghyuck steps closer as he agrees, knees bumping into Jaemin’s, and this close Jaemin can make out the smell of his shower gel, takes him a second for the familiar scent to register as the one he uses.

It makes his head spin, “Fine, I’ll hear you out if that’ll get you to leave me alone.” And it shouldn’t be such a big deal, Donghyuck probably came back with Renjun and Jisung to their dorm and ended up washing up here, probably didn’t care what he used in the process, but Jaemin can’t help but wonder if he did it on purpose, if he knows what he’s doing. He’s not sure which is worse.

“Let me spend the night with you.”

Jaemin blinks, waits for a second in case he misheard that, but Donghyuck doesn’t try to correct himself, “What? Did you hit your head on your way here?”

“No, no, just hear me out,” As if Jaemin hasn’t already heard enough, “That’s the deal, you spend the night with me, let me do anything I want, and if you still don’t feel like apologizing after we’re done, then I’ll let it drop and just leave you alone.”

“You do realize how stupid that sounds, right? I don’t have to spell it out for you.”

Donghyuck just sighs, “You’re the stupid one who keeps running like a cowardly idiot.”

Jaemin should say no, it’s the sensible thing to do, smart even, and it would get Donghyuck out of his room, away from him. But somehow he can’t bring himself to say that, not as Donghyuck looks at him, expression soft as he waits. “So what? If I agree with your half-baked deal, you’ll leave me alone after tonight?”

“Yup, if you still want me to. So is that yes?”

It shouldn’t be, Jaemin should know better, he really should, “Fine, but no taking it back tomorrow.”

And that’s all it takes for Donghyuck’s face to relax into a smile, sweet and pretty and easy like he was nervous, like he didn’t know what Jaemin would say. It almost feels like a win, the fact that he still can’t quite figure out what Jaemin’s thinking and Jaemin finds himself smiling before he can help it, legs falling open as if on command when Donghyuck gently taps his thigh.

“Same goes for you,” Donghyuck says, fits himself between Jaemin’s legs as he lets his hands rest on his shoulders, warm and suddenly so close that Jaemin can’t help but swallow, breath catching in his throat, “No running away.”

“Never did.” Jaemin licks his lips when Donghyuck slips a hand in his hair and pulls, just a bit, just enough for him to feel it, eyes dark as he takes him in. It makes Jaemin want to curl a fist in his shirt and pull him down, press his mouth to his so he can’t look at him anymore, so he’s too busy trying to breathe to focus on whatever Jaemin’s expression is telling him.

Maybe Jaemin just doesn’t like to be looked at, doesn’t really want to be seen, or maybe it’s just Donghyuck, and Donghyuck knowing him feels so much more dangerous than anyone else’s eyes on him.

“Sure you didn’t.” And Donghyuck doesn’t give him time to protest as he leans down and fits his mouth to Jaemin’s. The angle isn’t ideal and Jaemin’s neck hurts, but Donghyuck’s mouth is warm and soft and so familiar that Jaemin can’t help but sigh into it, parting his lips when Donghyuck runs his tongue over the seam of them.

It’s a slow kiss, gentle, like Donghyuck’s trying to ease Jaemin into it, taking his time as he licks over the back of his teeth and sucks on his tongue, fingers tightening in his hair when Jaemin runs his hands over his hips. He tastes like toothpaste and his sweet, stupid lip balm and something inherently Donghyuck and Jaemin can’t help wanting more as he slips his hands under the hem of his shirt until he finds skin.

Donghyuck doesn’t let him take more, not all at once, not like Jaemin wants to. He pulls back to nibble at his lower lip when Jaemin tries to pull him closer, making sure to slow him down, to keep him grounded. There’s something dizzying about it, like Donghyuck’s keeping himself just out of reach even when he’s in Jaemin’s arms and it only makes Jaemin want to keep pulling.

“Why do you keep running then?” Jaemin asks against Donghyuck’s mouth, going cross eyed as he tries to hold his gaze. Donghyuck just giggles and pulls back, tapping on Jaemin’s chest when he just tightens his hands around his hips, not wanting to let him pull back any farther.

“I’m not, I just like to take my time.”

It makes Jaemin snort, because of course Donghyuck’s going to ask for one night and drive Jaemin absolutely crazy during the entirety of it– he wouldn’t be Donghyuck otherwise. “Yeah? Thought you were gonna make me apologize.”

“Mhm, don’t you already feel apologetic for acting like an asshole?” Donghyuck smiles, scratching gentle fingers on Jaemin’s scalp, his other hand slowly travelling up his chest to wrap around the side of his neck, touch so utterly gentle. It drives Jaemin crazy, because he can never get used to this, wishes Donghyuck would just dig in his fingers and take what he wants.

“That’s your plan? Making me apologize before you’ll properly touch me? You think I would beg, Haechan-ah?” Jaemin lets all his teeth show as he drags his hands higher up, sliding the tips of his nails over Donghyuck’s ribs and digging them in just a bit, maybe just to feel Donghyuck shiver under his hands, his pupils huge as he looks down at Jaemin.

His tongue peeks out to lick at his lips, but there’s something almost smug about his expression, like he knows something Jaemin doesn’t, “Guess we’ll see about that.” And Jaemin knows already that there’s nothing to see, that he’s not going to give in, not going to give Donghyuck the satisfaction no matter how much he wants it.

He still plays along, can’t help but want to see what Donghyuck’s trying to do, and he lets himself fall back into bed easily when Donghyuck pulls back and softly pushes at his chest, “Confident, aren’t you?” Jaemin easily rearranges himself when Donghyuck taps his knees, leaning back on his pillows as he watches Donghyuck get in Jaemin’s bed like it’s his own. It’s almost annoying how little Jaemin minds, the urge to pull Donghyuck closer making his stomach twist.

“And you love me for it.” Donghyuck grins, the light shifting on his face as he throws a leg over Jaemin’s waist and smoothly sits himself down in his lap. He’s wearing shorts, possibly Jeno’s as well, and they ride up with his movement, thighs flower petal smooth and slightly sticky when Jaemin presses his hands to them, skin soft from the lotion Donghyuck rubs into it.

Jaemin licks his lips, swallowing the extra saliva that gathers in his mouth, and it only makes Donghyuck’s grin widen, like he knows, like he can tell how much Jaemin wants him even despite himself, how he can barely stop himself from digging in his fingers until they leave imprints on his pretty skin.

“You wish.” Jaemin’s voice catches on the words when Donghyuck shifts in his lap so he can properly rub his ass on his dick, already half hard in his pants. He stops after just a second, obviously proud of himself as Jaemin squeezes on his thighs.

He’s still smiling as he leans forward to press a soft kiss to Jaemin’s mouth, “Nah, you wish you didn’t.” And he doesn’t give Jaemin a chance to say anything else as he slides his hands up his chest and properly kisses him.

It’s easier like this to bring a hand up to Donghyuck’s cheek and tilt his head for a better angle, sliding his fingers up the side of his face until he can pull on his ear, tugging on his lobe when Donghyuck bites down on Jaemin’s lip. He soothes it with the flat of his tongue, but pulls back when Jaemin licks into his mouth, giving him just enough to have him wanting more.

“Where did you even get that idea?” Jaemin asks when he pulls back, just the slightest bit breathless as Donghyuck starts kissing his cheek, then down lower over the line of his jaw, letting his teeth catch on the sensitive skin when Jaemin tugs on the baby hairs at the base of his neck, “Don’t leave a mark.”

Donghyuck doesn’t protest that, never does when Jaemin expects him to, just licks a stripe up the side of his face and laughs when it makes Jaemin grimace, leaning in to kiss his nose, “You wouldn’t be letting me kiss you if you didn’t.”

Jaemin just snorts, pulling Donghyuck back in to properly kiss him, something greedy about it, messy as he licks into his mouth and sucks on Donghyuck’s tongue until he’s whining, warm hand cupping the side of his throat, just a bit, just enough for Jaemin’s pulse to jump under his fingers, “Maybe I just think you’re a good kisser.”

“Woah, Na Jaemin praising me, I should mark this down.” he sounds breathless too, voice airy and honey sweet as he presses the words to Jaemin’s mouth, breath catching when Jaemin slips his other hand under his shirt, sliding it up the knobs of his spine, maybe just to feel it arch under his touch, hips grinding down on his lap.

“Don’t get used to it.” But Donghyuck’s smile only widens, eyes dark as he presses a thumb to the underside of Jaemin’s jaw and tilts his head back, lips soft and wet from Jaemin’s mouth as he presses them to his throat, slowly kisses down the column of it. And Jaemin can feel his smile against his skin when he swallows, letting his tongue peek out to press against the hollow of his neck.

He stops when he reaches the collar of Jaemin’s shirt, kissing along the line of it before he slips a finger under it and pulls, just a bit, “Can I take this off?” His eyes are dark when Jaemin meets them, pupils blown and lips red, swollen from Jaemin digging his teeth into them, gaze intent like he wants to eat Jaemin, but he waits patiently, like he thinks Jaemin needs it.

Jaemin just tugs on his hair, hard enough for Donghyuck to feel it, “Thought you were gonna do anything you wanted to me.” Because Jaemin almost wants him to, wants Donghyuck to take and take and take until this urge under Jaemin’s skin finally gets satisfied, until his chest no longer aches like his lungs can’t quite fit inside his ribcage when Donghyuck looks at him with those eyes, looks at him like he can see right through Jaemin.

“Mhm, and what I want is to make you feel good.” he says, so very easily as he sits up a bit and slides a hand all the way to the hem of Jaemin’s shirt, playing with it for a second, but not making any move to pull it off as Jaemin just stares at him, “So, can I?”

And Jaemin should probably say no, because Donghyuck already knows too much, has already been let in too far, and Jaemin can’t take this, doesn’t want to let him in further if he’s going to treat it like some kind of honor– if he’s going to treat Jaemin like he’s something precious. But he’s nodding before he can stop himself, letting his nails catch on Donghyuck’s spine, “Yeah, just hurry up already.”

Donghyuck’s smile is terribly satisfied as it pulls at his mouth, something entirely too soft about his pleased expression, and Jaemin almost stops breathing as he slowly starts pulling off his shirt, “Actually, I’m gonna take my time. Want to make you thoroughly enjoy this.”

There’s no teasing edge to his voice, words round and sweet with something Jaemin can’t quite grasp, something that makes warmth spread inside his chest, fluttering like his heart can’t quite settle on a rhythm, “You’re not doing a very good job at it though.” It comes out shaky and lower than intended as Donghyuck pulls his shirt over his head, watching Jaemin’s expression every step of the way.

It makes Jaemin want to look away, or to press something to Donghyuck’s face so he doesn’t have to see it anymore, to see that fond little smile spread on his face, “Really now?” he asks, leans over to continue where he left off, slowly pressing a line of kisses along Jaemin’s collarbones, stopping to gently nibble at the skin when Jaemin shivers, not enough to bruise, but enough for goosebumps to raise under his mouth, “You’re not enjoying this?”

Donghyuck makes the tiniest little sound of surprise when Jaemin uses the grip he has on his hair to pull him up and kiss him, melting into it easily even despite it. There’s something utterly addicting about kissing Donghyuck, about the way he figures out what Jaemin needs so quickly it almost makes him dizzy, sucking on his tongue and biting on his lower lip until it’s throbbing and Jaemin’s tilting his head for more.

But he slows Jaemin down when they both run out of breath, panting against his mouth before slowly licking along the seam of it, mouth overly wet as he slides his tongue against the inside of his cheeks. It makes spit spill down Jaemin’s chin when Donghyuck sucks on his tongue, sticky and hot as Donghyuck pulls back to lap it up before pushing it back into Jaemin’s mouth, messy and overly wet.

“Not at all.” Jaemin says against Donghyuck’s mouth, a smile pulling at his mouth before he can help it when it makes Donghyuck burst into laughter.

“Now, c’mon Jaemin-ah, if you’re gonna lie, at least make it believable.” Donghyuck tilts Jaemin’s head back when he pulls back, fits his palm to the line of his jaw and gently runs his thumb over his lower lip, presses the pad of it to the center of his mouth, tender from Donghyuck’s teeth, “You’re supposed to be good at it.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, lets his tongue peek out so he can brush it against Donghyuck’s finger, watches his eyes darken as he takes him in, thumb digging into the fine skin, “I’ve never told a lie in my life.”

And Donghyuck’s so focused on his mouth that for a second he just keeps staring, but then his eyes widen and he’s laughing, falling over Jaemin, “Okay, we’ll go with that.” he says between giggles, pressing on Jaemin’s lower lip until he parts them for him before leaning in and fitting his mouth to his, easy and familiar.

It doesn’t make it any less hot and Jaemin’s already breathless as Donghyuck starts kissing down his throat, licking over his collar bones before making his way lower, slow and careful as he kisses every inch of revealed skin. He keeps looking at Jaemin, lingering on the spots that make Jaemin bite down on his tongue to keep quiet, eyes dark and intent, making Jaemin’s head spin because it almost feels like too much, like he’s giving away too much no matter how hard he’s trying not to.

“One night-” Jaemin says, tries not to choke on his own words when Donghyuck slides a hand up his ribs to knead at his chest, fingers digging into his pec as he slowly kisses his sternum, “-is not gonna be enough if you keep going like this.”

“Will you give me another then?” And it’s so sweet and careful that Jaemin almost says yes, fingers tightening in Donghyuck’s hair as he kisses his way to one of Jaemin’s nipples, slowly kissing around it as Jaemin’s chest flutters under his mouth, breath too quick and heart too loud in his ears.

It’s why he didn’t want to do this in the first place, because Donghyuck is disarming in his sweetness, only taking what Jaemin will give him while carefully pulling at all his loose strings, unraveling him with gentle fingers, so thoroughly that Jaemin doesn’t even know where to begin putting himself back together. It’s a terrible thing too, because for how vulnerable it makes Jaemin feel, he can’t bring himself to stop Donghyuck.

“Not if you don’t make this one worth it.” It’s not a no and Donghyuck doesn’t miss it, smiling up at him as he easily fits his mouth around a nipple and sucks until Jaemin’s stifling a moan. He runs his thumb over the other, rolling it between his fingers as Jaemin’s back arches into his touch.

“I think I’m doing a pretty good job.” He sounds proud of himself too, pupils blown when Jaemin meets his eyes and face all flushed like he’s been running, like this is somehow affecting him just as much as it’s affecting Jaemin. It makes him wonder how Jaemin looks right now, how his hot cheeks and unfocused eyes translate to Donghyuck, if he looks as unsteady as he feels.

His brain refuses to cooperate with him, too full of cotton to properly come up with the right words, so what comes out ends up being, “Haechan-ah, do you like me?”

Donghyuck blinks up at him, a string of saliva stretching from his mouth to Jaemin’s nipple when he pulls back, lips swollen red, so plump that Jaemin can barely stop himself from pulling him up to bite at them, “Obviously I do.”

Obviously. Jaemin swallows. Donghyuck just keeps looking at him, gaze so very sharp that Jaemin can’t help but look away, chest overly tight all of a sudden, pressing down on his lungs and making it hard to breathe, “And you called me a liar.”

Donghyuck doesn’t answer that, but before Jaemin gets the chance to catch his breath or get his heart to settle down, Donghyuck’s already sitting up and reaching for Jaemin’s face, hands so soft and warm as they cup his cheeks, “You are a liar,” he says, an amused little smile pulling at his lips. It easily morphs into a grimace as his whole face scrunches when Jaemin pinches his side, but he keeps going nonetheless, “And an idiot, but I still like you very much. I also think you might relate to that.”

“Are you calling yourself an idiot and a liar?” Jaemin asks, because he can’t quite deal with the other part, Donghyuck’s eyes honest and his expression open as he takes Jaemin in. It makes his stomach twist, something terribly warm unfurling inside his chest and pressing against his ribs.

“Both things you love about me very much.” He doesn’t let Jaemin protest as he just leans in and kisses him square on the mouth, laughter bright against his lips as Jaemin tilts his head for a better angle before he can think better of it, his body responding to Donghyuck’s touch like he’s been craving it.

He’s letting Donghyuck get away with way too much, but he can’t help it when Donghyuck pulls back just to press one more kiss to his mouth, softer, like an afterthought, before kissing the tip of his nose and making his way lower down Jaemin’s body. He’s all smiles as he slides off Jaemin’s lap and taps on his thighs, slipping between them like he fits there as Jaemin lets go of his hair and shifts lower down his pillows.

His hair is still a bit damp, standing up where Jaemin ran his hand through it, and his face is flushed all pretty, skin shiny with sweat. It makes him look even prettier, makes Jaemin want to pull him in and bite those red cheeks of his if only to hear him laugh. It’s a terrible thought, one that fills him with a terrible need, bubbling inside the pit of his stomach and making him swallow it down when Donghyuck shows him his teeth before leaning in to press a kiss above his belly button.

His tongue is hot as it circles his belly button, kissing along the fine line of hair underneath until he reaches the waistband of Jaemin’s pants. “Can I?” Donghyuck asks, eyes wide and shiny as he looks up at Jaemin, and his dick twitches in his pants at the sight, already painfully hard from Donghyuck’s relentless ministrations.

He’s not sure what Donghyuck has in mind, but Jaemin can do nothing but nod with Donghyuck’s mouth so close to his dick, his hands sliding along his thighs as he digs his fingers in soothingly, just a bit, just enough for Jaemin to let himself relax under his touch. “Will you already?”

“Impatient, aren’t we?” Donghyuck grins, sliding warm fingers underneath the waistband of his pants but not really pulling them off for a second. Jaemin’s fingers twitch and he grips the comforter to hold himself back from reaching for Donghyuck– from pulling him in and letting slip just how much he wants this.

It’s enough that Donghyuck can tell already, Jaemin doesn’t want to spell it out for him, bites his lip to keep himself quiet when Donghyuck gently sucks on the skin stretching over his hip bone, so careful not to leave a mark that Jaemin shivers, thighs tensing under his hands. “Isn’t that what you’re going for?”

“Not really,” Donghyuck says, finally pulling off Jaemin’s pants. He doesn’t reach for his underwear just yet, just gently pulls off his pants before reaching for his feet to take off his socks as well, fingers ticklish as they drag over his ankles, “Just want you to let yourself be honest sometimes.”

Jaemin feels dizzy as he watches Donghyuck bend his leg back until he can press a kiss to the inside of his ankle, fluttery and so warm that it makes Jaemin’s head spin and it takes everything out of him not to just kick Donghyuck away and run, “Why would I be honest to you?”

Donghyuck doesn’t even hesitate, as if expecting it, “To yourself then.” And the gaze he levels Jaemin with is dark and so heavy that he can’t even breathe under its weight, sliding over his skin like molten fire and burning him down to his bones. It doesn’t help that Donghyuck keeps peppering kisses up his leg, slow and sweet and making Jaemin’s skin feel like it’s not his own.

“I’m plenty honest.” It comes out utterly out of breath and Jaemin has to clear his throat, the words all scratchy on the way out. Donghyuck just hums, pressing one more kiss to the inside of Jaemin’s knee, the skin overly sensitive there, vulnerable under Donghyuck’s mouth.

“Why do you keep running then?” It’s not a fair question, but nothing about this feels fair, like Jaemin’s just fighting a losing battle, already rigged in Donghyuck’s favor no matter how much he struggles.

It makes the truth bubble up, making it hard to breath– because Jaemin’s terrified, because wanting things is dangerous, because he’s never wanted anything as much as he wants Donghyuck, because having him in his bed feels too real, like he could let himself forget why this is such a bad idea.

“Maybe I just don’t like you.” he says instead, utterly unconvincing with how breathless he sounds, with Donghyuck between his legs, kissing his way up his thigh as Jaemin struggles to deny how much he wants this.

It would be easier if Donghyuck wasn’t so infuriating, if he wasn’t at once the best and worst thing that has ever happened to Jaemin. Maybe it would have been better to just not meet him in the first place, but it’s hard to think of what-ifs when Donghyuck smiles against the inside of his thigh and presses another kiss there.

“Maybe.” And Jaemin chokes on his own breath when Donghyuck slips his fingers under the hem of his underwear. He’s not yet touching him, not properly anyway, but it’s enough to make Jaemin’s whole body tense under his touch, his dick straining against the material. “Can I leave a mark here?”

Donghyuck presses his teeth to the fine skin, just enough to make his point clear and Jaemin just keeps staring at him, brain too full of fog to figure out why he’s even asking for permission for a second there. He can’t seem to find his balance around Donghyuck, can’t seem to get used to the way respects every single line Jaemin draws between them, pushing only when Jaemin lets him, so careful that it makes him sick.

“If they make me wear shorts, I’ll have you explain it.” Jaemin says instead of no, wonders if he’s even capable of saying no anymore or if Donghyuck’s presence has just managed to fry all his means of self-preservation.

“No worries, I’ll wear them for you.” he says easily, doesn’t waste another second before he fits his mouth to the sensitive skin on the inside of his thigh, so high up that Jaemin can barely stop himself from just pressing his thighs together. He doesn’t even stop there, intent on making bruises bloom all over Jaemin’s thighs, and Jaemin can’t find it in himself to stop him, watches mesmerised as red marks in the shape of Donghyuck’s mouth litter his skin like Donghyuck wants to make sure he remembers it.

It would be hard to forget in the first place, but Jaemin’s still having trouble convincing himself that he’s not just making all of this up, even if every touch of Donghyuck’s makes his skin burn. It only gets worse when Donghyuck starts mouthing at his underwear, fitting his mouth to the wet material and sucking at his head through it, eyes dark when Jaemin slips a hand in his soft hair, if only to have something to hold onto.

“Too much?” Donghyuck asks, mouth red against the black of Jaemin’s boxers, lips smooth and swollen. Jaemin swallows, tries to hold himself back from just thrusting up or pushing Donghyuck’s head down, the sight making his skin thrum.

“More like not enough.”

And it makes a smile spread on Donghyuck’s face, the picture of innocence even with Jaemin’s dick brushing against his chin, his features so utterly soft and gentle that it makes something hot bubble in the pit of his stomach, a terrible urge to ruin him building under his skin. But Donghyuck has other plans for him, dipping his fingers under the waistband of his underwear and pulling just a bit, just enough so he can rub the elastic over the head of Jaemin’s dick, “We’ll see about that.”

He doesn’t wait for Jaemin to think of a reply to that, finally pulling off his underwear before settling himself back between Jaemin’s open thighs, cock hard and arched against his stomach, twitching under Donghyuck’s touch when he runs his fingers up its length. It makes more precome bead at the head and Donghyuck licks his lips before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the vein on the underside, just enough pressure to make Jaemin groan.

It’s all gentle, fluttery touches that only make Jaemin want to beg for more as he starts kissing all the way down to the base, pressing his tongue between his balls before taking one of them in his mouth maybe only to drive Jaemin crazy, his hands slowly kneading at the tense muscles of his thighs. But he doesn’t stop there and Jaemin’s breath catches in his throat when he slowly starts kissing lower down the sensitive skin, stopping only when he reaches Jaemin’s hole and he presses a kiss to his rim, making Jaemin bite down on a whine.

“Too much?” Donghyuck repeats, nothing teasing about his tone as he takes Jaemin in, watches him swallow as he tries to get his breathing in speaking order, heart pounding way too fast in his chest, so loud that he can’t help but wonder if Donghyuck can hear it too.

It feels like too much, Donghyuck’s hands and mouth and eyes on him and the unwavering way he waits for Jaemin like he’s not in any hurry, like he has all the time in the world. It makes Jaemin feel off balance, like he can’t do this, like he won’t be able to make it out in one piece, but Donghyuck’s hands are so terribly warm on his skin and he feels so big in Jaemin’s room, taking over every single one of Jaemin’s thoughts when he looks at him like this.

“I told you already,” he says and neither of them mention how he has to clear his throat to get the words out, his voice so low he’s not even sure Donghyuck can make it out, “Not nearly enough.”

Donghyuck just keeps staring at him for another moment, maybe to make sure that he’s not going to change his mind, as if Jaemin’s not too far gone already, “Okay. Where do you keep your lube?”

And Jaemin can’t help but snort as he points to his bedside table, watching Donghyuck rummage around in the first drawer before coming back with a victorious smile and settling between Jaemin’s legs, easily pushing them wider and stealing a pillow to slide under Jaemin’s lower back.

“Comfy?” he asks, as if Jaemin’s not fighting the urge to push Donghyuck off the bed and cover himself up, finding it hard to breathe as Donghyuck rubs his thumbs on the inside of his thighs. He eases him into it, kissing the head of his cock before easily taking it into his mouth, rubbing his tongue on the underside of it before sucking at the precome gathering at the tip, not enough to give Jaemin what he wants, but enough to get him to relax.

“Never been better.” It makes Donghyuck snort as he licks a stripe up from his rim all the way to the base of his dick, letting the saliva pooling over the flat of his tongue spill over his balls and down his perineum, watching Jaemin carefully as he shivers at the feeling.

“Really gonna have to work on that honesty.” The words barely register before the bottle of lube clicks open and he’s pouring it over Jaemin’s rim, the flash of cold making him cry out at the feeling. But Donghyuck’s immediately rubbing his fingers over his hole, touch careful and warm as he teases his rim with the pad of one of his fingers.

“You should work on learning to shut up.” Jaemin says around a moan, thighs tensing when Donghyuck takes his dick in his mouth, slipping just the tip of a finger inside him before he stops, watching the way he bites down on his lip to keep quiet.

It fits in easily, the slide smooth even if the feeling is just the slightest bit foreign, and Donghyuck’s mouth feels way too good on Jaemin’s cock for him to focus on any sort of discomfort. But he can’t really seem to relax, whole body tight as he just waits for Donghyuck to move, to do something– to get this over with.

Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be Donghyuck if he did what Jaemin wanted, taking his time as he just lets Jaemin get used to the feeling, slowly kissing up the length of his dick as he cradles his balls in his other hand. It’s infuriating how terribly patient he can be, peppering Jaemin’s skin with wet, hot kisses and gently rubbing his thumb over his rim as he watches him, waits for Jaemin to look at him, to ask for something.

Jaemin purposefully doesn’t meet his eyes, staring at the way Donghyuck’s red mouth stretches around his cock, lips wet and shiny with spit and precome, “Move Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck just lets his dick slip out from his mouth, rubbing his cheek on the side of it as Jaemin swallows, the feeling of Donghyuck’s flushed, soft skin on his cock making his head spin, no sign of displeasure on Donghyuck’s face even as Jaemin’s precome sticks to his skin all messy, “I will when you stop looking like you hate this.”

“I don’t.” Jaemin says immediately, but Donghyuck doesn’t seem convinced, softly kissing along the v-line of his hips as he drags gentle fingers up his balls to rub at the underside of his dick, thumb pressing just under his head.

“Okay.” he says even if clearly doesn’t buy it, so Jaemin slips a hand in his hair and pulls, can’t help the flutter of satisfaction in his chest when Donghyuck comes easily, lets himself be pulled. He melts under Jaemin’s mouth, parting his lips for him when Jaemin licks along the seam of them, mouth hot and tasting vaguely like Jaemin. “See? Now this is something you definitely didn’t hate.”

Donghyuck’s smiling when he pulls back and Jaemin’s still hazily aware of Donghyuck’s finger inside him, but he can’t really focus on that when he meets Donghyuck’s eyes, warm with something Jaemin can’t quite grasp, something that makes him want to cover Donghyuck’s face so he doesn’t have to see it anymore, “I don’t hate any of this.”

And it’s a bit too honest, slipping out before it has the time to register, but Donghyuck blinks, his eyes widening like he wasn’t expecting it. It makes Jaemin smile, satisfied with taking him by surprise for once, because maybe Donghyuck can’t quite read him as well as he thinks, maybe Donghyuck’s just as unsteady as Jaemin feels.

“Already getting better with the honesty.” Donghyuck presses yet another kiss to his cheek before making his way back between Jaemin’s legs, much too smug for his liking even if Jaemin can’t help the smile that pulls at his mouth.

“Fuck you.” But it doesn’t hit quite as it should with Donghyuck between his legs and if his expression is any indication, he can tell as much too, slowly pressing his finger inside Jaemin, the feeling familiar enough at this point that it doesn’t even make Jaemin wince.

“Sure.” he says, pouring more lube over his rim as he sucks on the fine skin at the base of his dick, not caring much about how sloppy he is, way too much lube and spit spilling down his perineum to drip on Jaemin’s sheets, “Is this okay?”

Donghyuck’s finger is thicker at the base, knobby and warm inside Jaemin, but he finds that he doesn’t dislike it when he slowly slides it out just to push it back in, so wet that there’s almost no friction and Jaemin has to bite down on the whimper that bubbles up in the back of his throat, “No, you’re making a mess of my freshly washed sheets.” It comes out breathless and raspy, but Donghyuck just smiles.

“I’ll wash them again for you.” Donghyuck presses a kiss to the inside of his thigh as he says it, fitting his mouth to the fine skin there and sucking yet another mark where only Jaemin will see it, feel it whenever he shifts. He doesn’t add another finger just yet, simply rubs the pad of it on his rim as he licks up his perineum, watching Jaemin with dark eyes and smiling when he tugs on his hair, hips pushing back on his hand.

“I’ll hold you up to that.” he says, voice catching on the words when Donghyuck teases the tip of a second finger, slowly pressing it in as he pours even more lube over his fingers. It slips in embarrassingly easy and Jaemin feels his face burn, the stretch bordering on pleasure, something utterly terrible about the way Donghyuck’s fingers fit inside him.

He can’t really breathe as the pads of his fingers brush against his prostate, sending a shock of pleasure up his spine, whole body tensing as he fails at stifling a moan. And Jaemin can feel Donghyuck’s eyes on him, the weight of them making him burn, but he can’t bring himself to meet them, not right now, not as Donghyuck slowly pulls his fingers back just to slide them back in.

Jaemin brings an arm over his eyes to cover them, his whole body shivering when Donghyuck keeps pressing on his prostate, massaging it until it almost feels like too much, sparks of pleasure running up his skin as he tries to keep himself silent. He can’t look at Donghyuck right now, doesn’t want to see his expression when Jaemin’s melting under his touch, because it was still fine while he was getting used to it but now it feels good.

So good that Jaemin can’t even breathe, but then Donghyuck stops, fingers pushed in all the way to their base inside Jaemin and just held there, filling him up. Jaemin whines, something embarrassingly desperate about it, but Donghyuck still doesn’t move, makes Jaemin jump under his mouth when he presses a kiss to his rim, to where it’s stretching around his digits. “Jaemin-ah, look at me.”

But Jaemin can’t. “Just move already.” he says, so needy that it makes him burn when he hears the tone of his voice, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes when Donghyuck just waits, rubbing his thumb over the sensitive skin of his perineum. “Donghyuck, please.”

He still doesn’t move and Jaemin can’t take this, pulls his arm off his face just to glare at Donghyuck, to get him to do something. He’s not quite sure his expression gets the desired effect, but it makes Donghyuck’s eyes widen when he meets them and he can feel the tears gathering in his eyes finally slip down his skin.

It takes a second, but then Donghyuck’s fingers shift inside him and Jaemin moans when he presses one more against his rim, slipping it in so easily that Jaemin feels dizzy, the sound loud and obscene as all three fingers fit inside him, the slide overly wet and easy. It feels like too much, but his body opens up under Donghyuck’s touch like he’s been craving this, so easy for him that he feels sick.

He should have never let Donghyuck in his room and in his bed and between his legs in the first place, but now he can’t take it back and he hates how good it feels, just how careful Donghyuck is, how easily he finds out exactly where to press to make Jaemin melt. He keeps kissing up the length of his dick, sucking on the tip until his head’s spinning, but never giving him quite enough to push him over the edge, so aware of exactly what Jaemin needs and keeping it just out of reach.

“Jaemin-ah,” Donghyuck says and Jaemin blinks at the tone of his voice, high and sticky sweet and needy, not unlike how Jaemin feels, and he can’t help but meet his eyes, shivering at the unadulterated need there, like Donghyuck can’t help himself either, “Can I fuck you?”

And he presses the pads of his fingers to Jaemin’s prostate, not giving him one second to think, his other hand wrapping around his dick to slowly stroke up its length, the rhythm way too inconsistent and his grip too loose to do anything more than drive him crazy. But this is the most desperate he’s seen Donghyuck– because he’s been holding himself back, making sure to unravel Jaemin until there is nothing left of him– and for once he seems like he’s falling apart too.

It makes Jaemin realize that Donghyuck hasn’t even taken off his clothes, too focused on his own pleasure to even notice, and he swallows, reaching to pull on the front of Donghyuck’s shirt, “Take this off first.” Donghyuck doesn’t even hesitate, pulling off his shirt and letting a tiny sound of surprise slip out when Jaemin just reaches for his neck and drags him up to kiss him, both of them too breathless for a proper kiss, just panting into each other’s mouths as their lips slide together, wet and sensitive. “Pants too, off.”

It makes Jaemin’s skin spark when Donghyuck’s bare skin brushes against his and they’re touching everywhere, Donghyuck’s body burning hot under his fingers. It all feels like too much, Donghyuck’s presence overwhelming, but when he reaches for Donghyuck’s dick, he melts against Jaemin, burying his head in the crook of his neck and letting out the filthiest little sound, not trying for one second to be quiet.

He’s desperate, just like Jaemin, all of this getting to him as much as it’s getting to Jaemin, and it makes warmth burst inside him, filling him up until there’s nothing else, until he’s melting and he finds himself pressing a kiss to Donghyuck’s temple, voice raspy and low as it comes out, “Yeah you can fuck me.”

Donghyuck shivers at the words, his eyes utterly dark as he pulls back to meet Jaemin’s– holding his gaze until he’s sure he means it– but then he doesn’t waste anymore time, leaning back to pour more lube over his dick before taking his fingers out and pressing the head of it to Jaemin’s rim, “Don’t look away.”

It’s not exactly an order, his voice too shaky for that, eyes too unfocused, but Jaemin knows he won’t move if Jaemin doesn’t listen, so he holds his gaze even as he feels his face burn, his whole body tense with anticipation. His cock feels different than his fingers and Jaemin’s breath catches in his throat when he finally pushes it in, slowly, so slowly that he feels every inch of it, feels the way it stretches him open, filling him up until he can’t breathe.

His eyes are wet with tears by the time Donghyuck bottoms out, something entirely too devastating about the way Donghyuck fits inside him. And Jaemin feels vulnerable like this, exposed, spread open just for Donghyuck too see, but he can’t bring himself to push Donghyuck away when he leans in and licks one of the tears sliding down his cheek, kissing the corner of his eye so gently that Jaemin feels dizzy, “Too much?”

Jaemin can’t even think like this, his skin buzzing, because it is too much, way too much, but he doesn’t want Donghyuck to stop, “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

Donghyuck presses yet another kiss to his cheek and then one more to his nose and his other cheek, “It’s definitely too much for me,” he says sweetly, so honest that Jaemin’s heart does a terrible little jump in his chest, “There’s no way I’m gonna last long.”

He grinds his hips down for emphasis and Jaemin moans at the feeling, digging his fingers into the back of Donghyuck’s neck as his hips push back on his dick, “Me neither, just move already.”

And Donghyuck seems pleased with the sudden honesty, for once actually listening to Jaemin and pulling out until only the head of his cock is inside him before pushing back inside in one smooth move, making the both of them moan at the feeling. It’s unfair how good this feels, just how properly Donghyuck fills him up, and Jaemin bites down on Donghyuck’s lip when he finds his prostate easily, like he’s done this before, like he knows Jaemin’s body even better than he does.

He can’t even find it in himself to be annoyed at it, his body giving easily under Donghyuck’s touch, so perfectly responsive as Donghyuck settles into a rhythm, movements smooth even despite Donghyuck’s shallow breath. There’s sweat beading along his temples, face flushed red and shining in the dim light and Jaemin’s disgusted at just how beautiful he finds him. The feeling that rises up at the sight feels so permanent that it makes Jaemin feel dizzy, like he’ll never recover from this.

Donghyuck doesn’t slow down for one second, wrapping a hand around Jaemin’s dick and jerking him off as if he’s not way too close already, leaning in pant against his cheek, “Fuck, Jaemin-ah, I’m gonna-”

“Don’t pull out.” Jaemin says lowly, the words bubbling out of him before they even register, but Donghyuck doesn’t question it, just presses his mouth to Jaemin’s and fucks into him until Jaemin’s vision goes spotty and he’s coming all over Donghyuck’s hand and his stomach, going boneless in his arms.

He can vaguely tell when Donghyuck comes, filling him until it spills past his rim, and he wraps his legs around his lower back to keep him there, doesn’t want him to pull back, not yet. But Donghyuck doesn’t seem to want to pull back either, just letting himself fall on top of Jaemin, his weight almost comforting as it presses him down into the bed.

It takes a while for them to catch their breaths, but neither seem too eager to move and Donghyuck just shifts closer to Jaemin, sitting up on his elbows to cutely blink down at his expression, “You okay?” And he looks fucked out, hair a mess and eyes blown, but his smile is bright and easy and Jaemin can’t help but return it, feeling too warm and good to hold himself back.

“You ruined my sheets.” Jaemin says instead, sliding a hand in Donghyuck’s hair to ruffle the soft locks when he bursts into laughter and simply leans in to kiss Jaemin, warm and familiar, languid now that the fire under his skin has subsided.

“They were ugly anyway.” Donghyuck says around a grin, biting on Jaemin’s cheek when he pinches at his side.

“I’ll kick you out.”

“No, you won’t.”

And he sounds so sure of it that Jaemin can’t even find it in himself to refute it, knows it would only be a lie and for once he doesn’t feel like running, not when he feels so warm and comfortable, unfairly safe in Donghyuck’s arms. The rain has stopped too at one point, the room silent around them, the dim light of his bedside table giving almost a dreamy quality to the moment, like if Jaemin closes his eyes he’ll wake up from it.

Jaemin really doesn’t want to wake up.

“No, I won’t.” he agrees after a moment, maybe only to see Donghyuck’s smile spread wide and pretty on his face before he leans down to kiss him, so real in his arms and so sweet as he licks inside his mouth that Jaemin could have never dreamt it up, everything about this almost too good.

After all, Donghyuck has always been dangerous, but maybe Jaemin doesn’t mind it.