Chapter Text
Conan and Ran were sitting in silence in the living room over the agency, eating dinner, Kogoro was out, playing Mahjong with some friends. Conan was thinking about the next week, he and the Detective Boys were planning a nice trip to the mountains, starting tomorrow. Ran was sighing. When Conan couldn’t ignore it any longer he asked: “What’s the matter, Ran-neechan? Why are you sighing so often?” “Oh, I’m sorry, Conan-kun. Did I worry you? I’m fine.”, she answered smiling. Conan did not believe her but let it go.
They continued in silence when Ran suddenly asked him: “Conan-kun, when, do you think, will he return?” “Hu, Oji-san?” Conan looked her into the eyes, Ran chuckled, “No, I mean Shinichi.”, she paused, “You two are so much alike, I thought you could perhaps know something I don’t.” Shaking her head she said: “It’s okay, never mind.”, and resumed eating. Conan looked down sheepish. “I’m sorry!”, he said barely hearable. “What did you say?”, Ran asked, trying to look into his eyes. Conan took a deep breath. “I said: I’m sorry!” Ran looked puzzled, “What for?” “That I can’t be Shinichi for you.” Conan aspirated, adding “Right now” in thoughts. Ran laughed affectionate. “You are sweet, Conan-kun, I love you!” Then she continued eating with lightened mood.
Conan had his head down, trying to calm his racing heart and willing his face to take a more normal colour. When he left that evening to go to Agasas he was determined to get Haibara to hurry with the antidote. Each day Ran had to wait for him was a day too much. But when he arrived and Agasa sent him downstairs with the words, “She wanted to talk to you privately.”, and a pitying gaze he felt queasy.
"Kudo-kun, I’m afraid, I won’t finish that antidote for you!“, Haibara told him the moment he arrived in her room. She was sitting at her computer, typing something.
Conan took a step further in, "Oi, oi, what? Don’t mess with me! You promised you’ll get a solution to this problem not just for me but also for your own benefit!“
"The poison was never supposed to have an antidote. It was intended to be untraceable and kill instantly. You should be happy that you are still alive. Even if it’s under these circumstances.”, she turned around and looked him right in the eyes, there was just determination to see. “I tried everything I could think of, but it is not possible to be completely reversed. And with how much antidotes you tried in the last two years, there won’t be one that will last more than a few hours. Conclusion: I give up. And that’s it.”, with this she turned back to her PC.
Conan didn’t know how to react, he stumbled backwards, Haibara’s desicion seemed final, but he had to try. “Haibara, you can’t be serious about that. There has to be a way! We just have to get the complete formula of the APTX and then…”, he tried to reason, but Haibara interrupted him “I was able to restore the formula, and I was also able to invent something to oppose the effect of it, but only under exact laboratory conditions. If you had taken this antidote the moment you took the original APTX, it could have worked.” She smiled woefully, “But after all this time, there is not even an 0,001 percent chance to have it working. The chance to have you dying while trying for this percentage is unlikely higher. And my final decision is, I won’t bet on this outcome, so I destroyed everything I developed the last two years. So you’ve got no chance to ask anyone else. I had to make it final, else you wouldn’t give up. I do know you by now. Don’t try to change my mind, this conversation is finished.”
Conan stormed out of her room and trudged upstairs. -Ah, this stupid, stupid girl, I can’t believe it!- When he met Professor Agasa he asked: “Did you know, what she was planning?” Agasa scratched the back of his head. “Well, she had me have a look over her notes and when I found nothing amiss, she decided. I tried to reason, but she isn’t persuadable.” He took Conan over to the kitchen and got him a cup of tea. “You know, she didn’t decide easily, she stayed awake many nights. I heard her scolding herself and sometimes she seemed really down.”, he thought back on the last weeks. “And she actually planned something out for you, so you could become Conan Edogawa officially. With the possibility to also travel abroad. You would get your own pass and you would be able to start your life all over.” He put a hand on his shoulder. “I know that there will be things or persons you’ll miss, but I couldn’t think of a better plan. She even got your parents to cooperate. Your mother will start with the plan right after we come back from the mountains.” Conan put the cup down. “She did what?”, he asked frowning. “She planned for me? What the hell is this bullshit? No one did even as much as ask me! This is my life, I alone should have a say at what I want to do and what I need.”
“I have to dissent, Edogawa-kun.” Haibara stood at the door to her room downstairs, her arms folded. “The life of Shinichi Kudo should have ended that day in Tropical Land. Just one act of nature beyond control caused your surviving. And this is as far as it goes. You’ll have to live with what you can get or go and kill yourself.” She turned around and started downstairs. “Some things can not be changed and you could go crazy with trying. I know you think about that girl and your promise to come back, but she would have lost you this one day two years ago and that without the possibility to tell her ‘good bye’.” Conan leaped angrily to his feet. “How can you say something like that? I don’t understand you one bit!” He took his jacket, that was lying across a chair. “I have to go!”, he told them and went to the entrance door. “Shinichi, didn’t you want to stay tonight? So we could take a look at all your gadgets? And don’t forget that we will be going camping tomorrow with the Detective Boys, some days just ourselfes and the mountains, they won’t be happy, if you can’t come along.“
“I’ll leave the gadgets in your care, take the glasses as well, I’ll use the spare ones without use. I have to think. I’ll stay at my home or back at the agency later, for now I just have to get some fresh air. Tell the Detective Boys I don’t feel well and to have fun for me, I need some time alone.” He opened the door. “And do me a favour, don’t tell Ran I’m not coming with you, I don’t feel like coping with her right now, I’ll just have to get a clear head beforehand, I’ll tell her myself.“, with this he left them.