Chapter Text
“I should go.”
Xiao doesn’t respond, and she would have thought him still asleep if not for the way his arms tighten around her waist, dragging her just a tiny bit closer.
She smacks his arm, trying to squirm free. “Xiao! I’m going to be late for class!”
He groans, and she shivers as his breath ghosts against her shoulder, his hair tickling her neck. “Skip,” he says, in a voice husky with sleep, and for a second, she wavers.
Xiao is warm and his bed is cosy. Xiao doesn’t have any roommates. And, if she stays with him, maybe later they can wander around campus discussing where to go for lunch, and she can continue pretending that there’s something more between the two of them.
Something more than just this, whatever this is.
But she thinks about her grades and the fact that she really, really wants to get that extra credit for perfect attendance, so she pushes his arm away and slides free, nearly falling off the bed in the process. “I need to go.”
“Lumine.” Xiao yawns, extending his arm, and she feels his fingers graze her bare hip, a fleeting touch that has her sucking air between her teeth. “Stay a while longer. Please?”
He’s a blessed sight first thing in the morning. Sometimes, she thinks he must have been loved by an angel—the way the sun tries to kiss him through his window, the light gently caressing his face, his amber eyes almost glowing as they reflect the dawn…
She could spend ages waxing poetic over his good looks, but she’d never admit that aloud. Instead, she peeks at him, unable to resist the temptation he presents, and instantly she regrets it, mesmerised by the tiny plea she sees in his smile.
Xiao so rarely, rarely smiles that every time he does, it feels like the whole world stops.
“I can’t.” She shakes her head, scrambling around the room in a half-hearted search for her bra. Damn thing has got to be here somewhere. “I have class! But we can meet later if you want.”
He pushes himself up from the bed as she finally finds and plucks her bra off the back of his chair. “It’s not the same,” he complains, and when she looks at him, he’s pouting.
That brings a smile to her face. He probably doesn’t even realise what he’s doing.
Xiao is always so different right after he wakes up—more open, more vulnerable, and infinitely more talkative. She likes staying over with him because of that.
“Does it matter?” she asks as she hooks her bra together and turns to look for her shirt. He needs to stop throwing her clothes all over the place. “It’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything.”
He doesn’t answer straight away, but when he does, his voice is quiet. “Yeah, we’re not,” he says, and she blinks at him, still in the process of putting on her crumpled blouse—which for some reason had been hanging off the doorknob?
His face is half-turned towards the window, his expression contemplative, and she wonders what might be on his mind. “You seem a little gloomy today.”
“Do I?” He glances back at her. “I’m just tired. I haven’t had my coffee.”
He’s back to normal then. Her cute, drowsy, clingy Xiao is no more, much to her disappointment. “Then I’ll see you later,” she says, grabbing her bag off his desk before rushing towards the door. “We can get lunch if you’re hungry.”
He lifts his hand to wave goodbye, but before he can even say a word, the door is swinging shut and she’s already gone.
Sometimes, she wonders what Xiao wants out of this.
It’s strange to think about how they got together in the first place. Or maybe that’s not the best way to phrase it—getting together implies a certain level of commitment neither of them is willing to acknowledge.
Friends with benefits, then.
She’s comfortable with this arrangement, even if she can’t quite wrap her head around it. After all, they live in separate dorms, have no shared classes and belong to completely different social circles. Under typical circumstances, she doubts she’d even know who he was.
But then the social representative for her dorm suddenly dropped out of school just before Ludi Harpastum, leaving them floundering, and she was tasked with securing, by hook or by crook, some form of entertainment for the afterparty.
It was a day before the event. They all knew they were hoping for a miracle.
She started asking around, hoping to find someone who could play music or deejay or something, but to no avail—most of the hobbyist musicians were already booked for the night, and the rest were charging fees way beyond her dorm’s budget.
Soon, the despair was sinking in and she began wondering how she should go back and explain her failure to the others, but then Aether—her amazing, capable, super smart brother Aether—popped up out of nowhere and asked why she was moping about.
Fast forward a few minutes later and she was knocking on Xiao’s door, desperately hoping that she could convince the infamously reclusive music major to help her this one time; when the door swung open, she tried to launch into her spiel, but then their gazes met and she faltered.
Aether never told her just how beautiful Xiao was. He just said he had an acquaintance, that they weren’t super close but he majored in music and from what Aether remembered, he deejayed on the side. Xiao rarely appeared at school events, being mostly booked for private gigs, but since she was desperate, Aether told her there was no harm giving him a shot.
Xiao stared at her, dark hair tousled, eyes half-lidded, and she wondered if he had just woken up. “Hi, sorry for suddenly knocking on your door, but I wanted to ask if—”
”Who are you, and what do you want?” he interrupted, eyes narrowing, and she shivered, an instinctive response. His voice was husky, and it felt almost tangible, like a lover’s caress against her skin. “If it’s about Ludi Harpastum, then I’m not interested.”
“Wait! I know, I get it,” she said, waving her hands in front of her. He cocked his head, but thankfully allowed her to continue. “Aether said you’re busy and you don’t like wasting time at school events, I know. But our person in charge dropped out and at such short notice, we don’t have alternatives, so I was hoping…”
He leant against the doorframe, watching as she rocked back and forth on her feet, twisting her fingers together. “You know Aether? Are you his sister?”
She nodded, startled by the unexpected question, and he sighed. “I do owe him a favour, so I’ll help you out, but only if you agree to my conditions.”
“Oh! Uh, how much do you want?” she asked, relief surfacing in her chest, her lips curving into a giddy smile. If he was willing to help, then maybe their afterparty wouldn’t flop after all.
He shook his head. “I don’t want money,” he said. His gaze was focused, unblinking—another shiver ran down her back, sudden and distracting. “I want your time.”
She frowned, confused. “My… time?”
”Yes.” He glanced over his shoulder into his room, as though purposely avoiding her eyes. “People think my major is easy, but it’s not. I tend to forget to eat and sleep, especially during crunch periods. My father has been nagging me to change my habits, so I thought I’d try this semester, but to do so, I’ll need your help.”
“My help?” she echoed. “With what?”
“Minding my schedule,” he answered. “I need a timekeeper. Someone who can wake me up and get me to sleep at the right hours.”
“Oh.” She wrinkled her nose. It was a strange request, but it wouldn’t take anything out of their budget and it didn’t seem like it’d eat up too much time, so she nodded and extended a hand. “I’m fine with that. This means we can expect to see you tomorrow, right?”
He nodded as well, and when they shook she couldn’t help but notice his long, slender fingers, wrapping around hers and swallowing her hand completely. “I look forward to working with you,” he said, and she’d never looked back since.
In the beginning, it was just her waking him up. Xiao was annoyingly difficult to pull out of bed—he slept like a log, and she had to resort to all sorts of creative measures to get a response.
One way that usually worked without fail was trying to stick something up his butt. That tended to wake him up pretty fast. Xiao was also ticklish, so if she was feeling patient enough she’d sit beside him and poke his ribs until he started turning away from her, laughing in his sleep.
But if she thought waking him up was a chore, getting him to sleep was a million times worse.
Before she can continue down this winding trail of memory though, a hand suddenly sticks out in front of her, waving, and she startles.
“Stop spacing out,” Aether scolds, letting his hand drop back to his side. She smiles, sheepish. “And look at you, you’re a mess,” he adds, eyeing her crumpled blouse. “What were you doing before this? Did you wear this shirt to sleep?
“Kind of.” She shrugs, leaving it at that, and Aether shakes his head before turning back to the podium, where their professor is droning about market forces and the economy or something along those lines. She isn’t paying attention.
Instead, all she sees is amber eyes, blinking slow and languid at her, the slight curve of his lips as he props his cheek on the back of his hand, waiting.
She shakes her head, drawing a strange look from Aether, but she ignores her brother for now, tapping her fingers against her desk. Xiao has been popping up in her head a lot lately, and it’s starting to affect her ability to concentrate in lectures.
Maybe they need some time apart. But the mere idea sends ice crawling through her belly, and she frowns, picking up a pen and scribbling a few words from the slides in her notebook.
She’ll figure something out.
“Xiao,” she gasps as she arches her back, trying to press closer, her legs wrapping around his waist. “Xiao, I can’t—”
“Shh,” he murmurs, lips pressed to her neck, sending tiny shivers through her body every time he speaks. “Shh. Be good. Listen to me.”
Her hands are trapped against the mattress, Xiao gripping her wrists tight as he slides into her, slow and easy, her core still fluttering from the echoes of orgasm. She’s already crying, warmth trickling down her cheeks as she twists in his hold, trying half-heartedly to break free. “I’m—”
Before she can continue—she isn’t entirely sure what she wanted to say, anyway—he leans in and seals her mouth shut, his lips soft and questioning as he pushes inside her again, so deep that her toes instinctively curl, overwhelmed by all this sensation.
Xiao is a tender lover. One wouldn’t think that looking at him—after all, he’s distant and aloof and reluctant to speak. While he’s talented, he tends to stay away from the rest of the student body, keeping to himself and only interacting with his classmates when necessary.
So, it never fails to surprise her when he whispers her name this way, as though he wants more of her, wants to keep her here with their fingers intertwined and his lips just barely grazing hers, a kiss that questions more than it promises.
It makes her wonder, sometimes. Whether he does want more from her. From them. But before she can get too carried away, she reminds herself what he told her all those months ago. Xiao’s not looking for a relationship, and to be fair, neither is she.
Which means it makes no sense to think about what-ifs and could-haves. Since they have agreed to this arrangement, then she shouldn’t try to change it but rather make the best of what she’s been given. So she sets her feelings aside and wraps herself around him, drowning in his scent.
Xiao always smells like the wind. Like a fresh spring rain, delicate and pure; like sunlight cutting through the mist of morning. She buries her face against his shoulder, kissing down his neck as his scent weaves all around her, leaving her giddy.
He catches her chin, forcing her to look up before he leans in and kisses her, tender and reverent, making her gasp against his mouth. His other hand drops between them, fingers circling her clit, and she bucks up, trying to pull away, too sensitive.
But he doesn’t release her, forcing her to stay as he devours her, and when she falls it’s his name she cries, her hands scrabbling at his shoulders as she trembles underneath him.
He doesn’t allow her time to rest, pulling out just to slide slow and teasing back in. She whimpers, a plea in her voice as her fingers twist in his bed sheet. “Stay the night.”
“I-I need to leave,” she pants, chest heaving as her core throbs, still trying to recover from the climax he had forced upon her. “M-My roommate, s-she’s wondering where I am.”
“Lumine.” There’s an unspoken command in his voice, and she pauses, staring up at him, her mind going blank with anticipation. “Stay with me tonight.”
He thrusts into her again, and she moans, legs falling apart to better accommodate him. It’s hard to think when he’s watching her like this. She feels vulnerable, exposed, and it sends a thrill down her back, heat lancing through her veins.
“I’ll make you feel good,” he adds, reaching out to cup her cheek. She inhales, trying to find a reason to say no. She has to return to her room or else Paimon will complain. But Xiao is tempting and warm and when he shifts, his lips mere inches away from hers—
She shakes her head, mustering up her final dredges of resolve, turning away so she wouldn’t have to see his mouth, so tantalisingly close. “I have to go.”
He stills, and she can feel his breath fanning over her face, sweet and light. For a moment, the world is suspended, silent save for the sound of her heart roaring in her ears.
Then his thumb swipes over her bottom lip, and she gasps, eyelids fluttering as he rolls into her. “Look at me,” he says, his voice low and husky, and she does exactly that, unable to resist.
All she sees is amber and black. He’s watching her, his eyes narrowed, and when his head drops, his lips hovering next to her ear, she thinks she might combust. “I’ll write you a song.”
The offer is so unexpected that all she can do is rear back, staring at him, trying to find the right words to say. Her lips part, but nothing comes out, and he watches her, studying her expression—he’s still buried within her, and when his fingers glide over her clit, she shudders.
“A-A song?” she finally manages to say, trying her best to pull her mind away from the feel of his hand slipping between her thighs. “You’ll write me a song?”
“Mm.” Xiao smiles, a flicker of fang that has her tensing around him, her hands reaching up to curl over his shoulders. “A song dedicated especially to you. Or I could serenade you outside your window if you’d prefer that?”
Heat spreads across her face, and this time it has nothing to do with the way he presses against her, heavy and solid. “No! You don’t need to do that!”
“Why not?” he asks, his hand leaving her sex—she mourns the loss of his touch, if only for an instant—and reaching up to her face, twirling locks of her hair between his fingers. “I thought that girls liked this sort of thing. Being serenaded, I mean. But if you don’t want ballads—”
“No, it’s not that.” Her face must be blazing by now. She’s grateful for the dim light; at least he won’t be able to see how red she is. Hopefully. “I mean. It’s a very sweet offer, and I appreciate it, but shouldn’t you only do that for, um, a girlfriend or something?”
Her heart is racing, She can feel it battering her ribs, a constant beat that aches. He blinks at her, catlike and languid, and she’s entranced by the soft, inky sweep of his eyelashes against his cheeks.
It makes her want to kiss him. “Really? And why is that?”
With anyone else, she might think he was teasing, but she knows Xiao is being perfectly serious. "Because… it's, uh, I don't know. Romantic?" she squeaks, averting her gaze. "That's not something you should do for just anyone."
He pauses at that, his expression quizzical, almost confused. “Do you think you’re just anyone?” he asks, and he sounds so terribly earnest—
Before she can come up with an answer, his hips snap forward and she’s clinging to him, lights flickering behind her eyelids as her moans filter into the cool air. She’s so sensitive it borders on pain, a push and pull between sensations that leaves her breathless and wanting.
When she shatters, she almost doesn’t realise it, the pleasure cresting through her so quickly it feels more like an afterthought. Lumine twines her fingers through his hair, mind blank as she tries to recover; she swears she feels tiny sparks skittering down her spine, making her tremble as she ducks her head against his shoulder, her hair plastered to her skin.
Through it all, he’s still not finished, watching patiently as her lips part, her voice lodged in the back of her throat. She wants to beg—what for, she isn’t certain—but when she looks into his eyes something yawns open in the pit of her belly, and she forgets what she’s hoping to say.
“Sleep with me,” he tells her, taking her face between his hands as he pulls back, the tip of him gliding down her folds. She flinches, and he exhales as he catches her chin, holding her head still. “I have a meeting early tomorrow, and you said you would help wake me up.”
She isn’t sure how to describe the emotion that surges through her. Relief? Disappointment? Either way, it’s sudden and overwhelming, and for a moment she’s dizzy, her fingers tightening in his hair as she tugs—Xiao hisses, and that’s what brings her back to reality, makes her shake her head and blink as his words settle firmly in her mind.
“I don’t have to stay the night to wake you up tomorrow,” she points out, voice catching as his lips glide down her throat, warm and searching. His hair, soft and silky smooth, slips out of her grasp, and already her fingers itch to run through those dark locks again.
“It will make things easier, though.” He stops, gazing at her, and she feels something shift in the air, an intangible promise—then his hands fasten upon her waist and the whole world blurs. The next thing she knows, she’s straddling his hips, her heart pounding as she stares down at him, her lips parted in surprise.
Every time he opens his mouth, it sounds like sin, his voice velvety and delightful and unfairly enticing. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” He’s still gripping her waist, holding her down, and she shivers when she feels him pressing against her back, hard and slick.
“You’re always making me promises,” she mumbles. “It’s a little scary sometimes. Are you sure you can deliver?”
“I can, and I will.” At this angle, he looks different—open and trusting and sweet, and something in her chest twists. She ignores it.
“What will I get out of this, then?” she asks.
“Minimally a meal. Or two, if you’re still hungry afterwards,” he says, pushing her as he speaks; she yelps as she’s moved back, sliding easily onto him, and she moans at the sensation of being forced open once more, scrabbling for his shoulders as her hands instinctively seek support.
“Do you honestly believe that’s enough?” she grumbles once she finally regains her bearings, her palms pressed flat on his chest as she props herself up. Xiao lets go of her waist, ceding control, though he never once stops looking at her. “Give me more.”
“You’re greedy.” She wriggles her hips, letting him sink deeper inside her, and Xiao groans. “Then I promise to play for your dorm at the next Ludi Harpastum.”
She opens her mouth, tempted to bargain further, but then she stops herself, gnawing on her lip. Xiao for the next Ludi Harpastum. That’s already plenty, coming from him. He’s not a very sociable person; this is a considerable sacrifice that he’s making.
But still. She can’t explain the feelings churning in her gut, can’t help but want more than what he’s offering. It simply feels insufficient, though she doesn’t know why.
Yet, it’s unreasonable to expect anything more, and her dorm will be more than pleased to have Xiao again, so she swallows her doubts and nods. “Fine.”
”Is there something else that you want?” he asks, and he’s so utterly genuine that she instinctively draws a breath, tempted to reveal the truth.
But instead, she clamps her mouth firmly shut and shakes her head, shifting forward so she can take him in again, and secretly she revels in the way he gasps, in how his eyelids flutter as he’s sheathed within her sex.
This isn’t a face that anyone else gets to see, and a flicker of possessiveness curls through her, making her drop her forehead against his as she murmurs his name. He grits his teeth, his hands slipping down her thighs, and for a second she wonders what things might be like if they were something, anything more.
But the moment passes, and as their lips meet, the familiar taste of him flooding her mouth, all she can think about is what excuse she’d need to make to get Paimon off her back this time.