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Aether got 162 primogems tossed into yet another acquaint wish purcahse, babey. Kazuwhore’s banner was open at last like his mouth was going to be in the cumming hours or days for some deep, deep cock. The traveler had been waiting a whole month for this glorious sake-drinking warrior who could also take 8 men at once. Maple leaves blowing like Kazuha on him, Anemo wind swirling like his tongue around the tip—
Enough. It was time. Although Aether’s pity was definitely not built thanks to accidentally pulling Eula just after Zhongli and Diluc, he slapped in a 10 wish with the force of Klee’s bomb explosions. A Bennet constellation, not bad. Another roll; finally! Rosaria! But the next roll set was solely comprised of fucking bitch weapons, the kind that always pissed him off.
His last 10 roll... “HOLY-“ he yelled, his heart skipping a beat, as he saw the 5 star rainbow threshold…!
And then…
SHBAKSJSVWJKQWHWKLQUA KAZUHA!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAA JAIAHAKWHWJW MG BWNAJHSKSAKQGQJLBZHAJANAVGAJANWHSHSHSNQLKQHWNQKWUWHQKKA!!!!!!\!\!\£\¥\’bznamabMaluww!!! He fucking did it, man!! YEAH!! SCREENSHOT!!
Once he somewhat settled down from the high, he read through his talents — or, not really, because deep down he was Jared and 19. He didn’t process shit. Weapons?— Oh. Hah. His weapon stash was of dirty butthole quality. Kaeya hoarded the one 5 star weapon in his entire arsenal, Razor took the best 4-star sword, and Diluc took… the exact same build of sword. Yeah. Everything else was either already claimed by someone else, could die in a weapon enhancement hole, had unsuitable attributes for him, or simply did not match his aesthetic at all. And the artifacts he still had left? Sadder than all of his weapon-only rolls combined. He tried to grind for a strong anemo artifact, but his underlubed asshole could not thanks to both questionable RNG and how underleveled his party was.
Welp! Before they could make proper conversation, Aether leveled up Kazuha to 24 with books he’d gotten from ley lines just for him. Even though he was currently about as prepared for battle as college students for anal with shampoo for lube, he made sure to create a whole new party except it was only compromised of this pretty anemo-wielding samurai. He finally fucking did it.
Aether hugged him tightly with the squeal of a 1D fangirl, instantly simping. Kazuha seemed confused, but hugged back anyway.
“You’re finally home!” Aether clamored before he broke the hug. “Hi, um, I’m Aether and you literally have carried last week for me. Thank you so much.” He looked into his eyes, possibly also into his soul. “I would do anything for you. I will absolutely build you once I get all the proper materials, I promise!” Slumping into his ultimate degenerate state, he knelt with his hands together as if praying to the RNG gods. “I’ve only had you for about 69 seconds, but I love you, Kazuha, and you are so beautiful ! Oh my god!!” He stood up and composed himself. “Ahem. May I kiss you?”
Kazuha was flustered; a little spooky Peppa Pig shooketh’d, even. But he accepted the offer, still processing all that this moron just said. He had to admit, though, he was a cute kind of moron. This traveler was like a shorter version of himbo. Stupid enough to ask what region Inazuma was in, physically strong, and bearing kind intentions. He may have been a simp, but he could sense he still had a shred of dignity.
“Sure,” Kazuha answered with a smile.
Maybe Aether wasn’t the only dumbass here.
Aether kissed him, a hand cupping his soft cheek while an arm wrapped around his waist. Unexpectedly, Kazuha initiated another smoochie because fuck it.
“Oh-“ the simp whispered in surprise.
“Would you like this to escalate, traveler?” he offered, pulling his lips away. “At a better location, of course.”
Aether blushed, nearly at a loss of words. “Oh, shit- okay.” He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Then let’s teleport to Inazuma. I’ll row my boat into the middle of the ocean, where no one will see us.”
“Holy fuck!” was all Aether could say before he initiated said teleportation.
A sunset began when they arrived at the dock. Beyond them lay the sea and distant mountains…Lord bBarbatos, forgive him for what he was about to do.
Kazuha’s recently constructed boat was there by the shore, especially indicated by the distinct flagpole. He gathered the rowing paddling thingies and pushed it into the water. He took a seat at the front, while Aether sat behind him.
“Do you know how to row?” Kazuha asked.
“Yes. Do you want me to handle it?” Aether submitted like a doormat.
“More like both of us doing so.”
“Oh, no problem.”
Kazuha rowed into the middle of the ocean with the grace of Zhongdong’s giant cock sliding down Tartar sauce’s throat during a legendary face-fuck. Aether took on the supporting back end. Though he hadn’t used a non-mechanical boat in a hot minute, he got used to the rowing motion quickly.
By the time they were finished, the moon showed up in the sky. Kazuha stood to anchor the boat, then faced Aether. He liked how small he looked from above.
“Are you ready?” he asked, smiling cutely.
“God yes,” Aether said before his self-control snapped. They ended up somehow laying in the boat, him on top of Kazuha. They made out like it was a Wattpad story, their tongues dancing the tango as their lips met. The moment Aether began to grind against him out of pure thirst, Kazuha loosened his luscious long braid, imagining his lips would becum stained with semenakke in this state.
Once their lips separated with your typical string of saliva, Aether savored his lewd, half-lidded expression. And now they got back to it. Progressively, their clothes began to reduce while the raw horny only ascended. Aether was soon as nude as could be, and Kazuha’s shirt was off. So of course, it was time to get to his pants… and he had an idea.
“I want to suck your dick,” Aether told him, straightforward as his torso rose a bit. This made room for his fingers to circle around his bulge. “And I want to swallow all your cum.”
“Mm, yes,” Kazuha irresistibly let him.
Yeah, baby! No better moment than now to suck some dick in the moonlight. Aether slowly tugged down his pants and briefs, then wrapped his lips around long, now slippery dick. It tasted divine and as clean as Mr. Clean’s penis.
Kazuha already began to squirm as Aether licked the sensitive underside, following the veins. He bobbed his head with just the right amount of hollowing in his cheeks.
He never looked down on anyone except when he was getting a blowjob, so he took a glance at his face and was met with a slutty wink. A hand with a mind of its own placed itself on his balls with a massage.. That was it. Kazuha’ fingers made their way into blonde hair, effortlessly reaching the scalp, but not pushing. However, they did squeeze slightly into his temples. If not for the hard surface beneath him preventing it, he would have thrown his head back.
“ Fuck , Aether, ahhh…” he relished. “So good…”
A few more minutes of such pumping of the balloon later, Kazuha wasn’t sure how much longer he’d last. He was growing louder by the minute. His body had begun to feel heavy by now, his heartbeat began to accelerate, and… yes, he was certainly close.
Through the haze of his mind, Kazuha noticed dark clouds approaching.
“Nya…! A storm is coming,” he drew out, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, “and so am I.”
Aether absorbed all the helpless moans and mewls as his mouth became a cum vortex, milking the samurai of it all through a powerful orgasimic over roughly 20 seconds. Fucking delicious to swallow down. Finally, some good fucking food. What a goddamn meal.
Now this was love at first cum.