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Giyuu drops his spoon on the table the moment Kyoujuro finishes speaking, his mind going blank but full of static noise at the same time.
Kyoujuro was definitely not expecting that reaction, feeling his body tense but his smile unwavering in an attempt to make himself look calm.
"What… what did you say?" Giyuu asks incredulously.
"That I like you, Giyuu!" He repeats, making sure he pronounced it loud and clear this time. "Romantically, I mean, just in case you weren't sure."
"... Oh."
Giyuu always has been someone hard to read for most people, he wasn't very expressive, so Kyoujuro had to get to know what he means or feels by little hints in the way he acted or changes in his voice. It's something he liked about being together, it felt like he was the only one would could get to truly see what Giyuu felt.
So Kyoujuro tenses even harder, because that "Oh" was filled with many different feelings, and he's sure all of them were negative.
"It's okay if you don't feel the same!" He's quick to say, trying to fix the mess he brought upon himself. "I just— I just thought you should know, that's all, you don't have to date me or anything, we can just stay as friends—"
"That's not—" Giyuu raises his voice, surprising Kyoujuro. He takes a deep breath before continuing to speak. "That's not the issue here." He says, almost in a whisper.
It takes a while for him to speak again, eyes focusing on the food he had in front of him in an attempt to stop looking at Kyoujuro.
Kyoujuro can feel his mouth get dry, unsure of what to do or say. He probably should leave, after all this is Giyuu's apartment, and he came uninvited under the pretense that he didn't have dinner at home, just so he could confess.
He tries to pretend he isn't being bothered by this, it's not like Giyuu outrightly told him no, but he is definitely rejecting him, why else is he taking so long to answer?
Before Kyoujuro could make up his mind and leave, Giyuu finally speaks.
"I… I liked you too…"
"Huh?" Kyoujuro feels his heart soar for a second until it comes crashing down again. He said liked, past tense.
"For a long time, I think for more than a year." Giyuu confesses, still not daring to look at Kyoujuro. His face is a deep shade of red, eyes glassy but Kyoujuro knows he won't cry, or more likely, he won't let himself cry.
"Then why didn't you—"
"You liked someone else back then," Giyuu sighs. "I couldn't bring myself to do it, you looked so happy… even if you two didn't end up together, even when you told me you got over that "silly crush" you said you had, I just— I just couldn't bring myself to do it."
"... Oh."
"Yeah…"
"... But what about now?"
Giyuu finally dares to look up. Kyoujuro isn't smiling, it's hard to maintain his facade in front of Giyuu now, and his smile would be completely out of place in a moment like this.
"... I'm… I'm actually seeing someone else."
He definitely regrets confessing now.
There's another long moment of silence as Kyoujuro's brain tries to process the information it was just given. He believed he understood completely Giyuu's little hints in his actions, in his voice, his entire being, but now, he doesn't know what to believe.
"...Since when?" He manages to say, voice coming softer and more tired than he meant to.
"A few weeks ago," Giyuu says. "I was actually planning to introduce him to you tomorrow…"
"Hm, I see." Now it was Kyoujuro's turn to look everywhere else but Giyuu.
"Kyoujuro, I'm sorry—"
"No no! There's no need to apologize." He smiles, it doesn't feel right, but his need to reassure Giyuu that everything is okay is stronger. He still can't look him in the eye though. "It is okay! Really."
Giyuu looks like he's going to say something else, but reconsiders it and shuts his mouth.
Kyoujuro doesn't know what else to do or say; he expected two outcomes out of this, he either was going to get rejected or walk out of Giyuu's apartment as his boyfriend, but this? He doesn’t know what to say.
He feels guilty, like an idiot, believing he understood Giyuu, for not noticing the other liked him for a long while, for not noticing the pain he had caused him.
But thinking of what ifs isn't going to fix anything, it won't take time back and undo his confession or will take him back so he could slap himself in the face and tell him the one he was always looking for was right in front of him.
He's an idiot.
"I… I think I should go." Kyoujuro stands up, his food remaining partially untouched, but with all that’s happened, his appetite has died. Giyuu doesn't say anything. "I still would like to meet him."
"You don't have to—"
"It's okay!" Kyoujuro interrupts, forcing his smile a little too hard. "It's only if you want, of course, I won't mind." Yes he will. "We're still friends, I care about your happiness, so if you still want to…"
"I… I'll think about it."
"Alright." Kyoujuro nods before grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair. "Uh, see you later then?"
"... Yeah, see you later."
They say nothing after that.
Kyoujuro walks out of Giyuu's apartment in complete silence, his forced smile unwavering until he knows he's far away enough, deep into the night. He keeps walking, either back home or wherever his feet would let him, feeling his eyes sting but trying his hardest to not let himself cry, not yet.
Meanwhile Giyuu stares silently at the empty seat in front of him, his heart and mind a mix of confusing emotions. He takes a deep breath, trying to forget about what just happened there.