Archive of Our Own

Most people Ainosuke knew were afraid of the forest. His aunts have warned him, over and over, that it’s a dangerous place he should never enter. There are wild animals out there, like wolves, and it would be all too easy to get lost among the trees. The path that leads from their private estate into the city, where his father lives and works, is the only thing to be trusted.

The servants who help around their manor have their own stories of danger, which Ainosuke listens in on in secret. Creatures that were neither man nor beast once lurked among the wood. People disappeared there all too often, never to be seen or heard from again. The depths of that forest swallow up intruders so thoroughly it's as if they never existed.

When Ainosuke makes the mistake of asking his aunts about those stories, they remind him - with love, always with love - that only superstitious fools believe such things. He shouldn’t be paying any attention to what the staff say. Listening in on their gossip is beneath a member of the Shindo family.

He tries to be good and listen to them. He stays away from the treeline surrounding their property, and when their carriage passes through the road into the city, he keeps his eyes straight ahead instead of drifting to either side. But when he’s alone at home - which is so very often, every single day - he finds himself staring out at the seemingly endless expanse of those woods. People disappear in there. That’s something everyone agrees on.

Sometimes, he wonders if that’s really true. Do they actually disappear completely? Or maybe... they just find a different path, one that leads to a secret place. Somewhere no one can ever find them.

One night, when his arms and back hurt so badly he can’t sleep, he takes his red cloak - his very favorite, even though his aunts keep calling the bright color garish - and almost dares to find out. It’s a full moon, and the sky is full of stars. As he sneaks out onto the grounds and heads for the trees, it feels exciting. The kind of adventure he’s read about in books. It’s only when he’s on the precipice and about to cross over that he can’t help but pause. If he’s right and he can make it far enough, that’s all well and good, but if he’s wrong... if he’s wrong, and his aunts find him after he tried to run away...

They love him so much. Very, very much. It’s only natural they’d be furious if he tried to leave them like this. His arms throb and his back stings painfully under his shirt.

He swallows a lump in his throat, and forces himself to turn back towards the house, clutching at the hood of his cloak around him tightly. If he catches the glint of green eyes peeking out at him from the dark, he’s too consumed by the worry of being discovered to think anything of them.

It’s not much longer, though, before the temptation presents itself again, and much more strongly. After he turns eight, his father tells his aunts to let Ainosuke start coming down to his townhouse once a week, to watch him work and learn about governing from him. In practice, this usually means sitting very still and very quietly while his father conducts his business, and then being drilled at the end of the day about details of what happened. If he does well, he gets a quick word of approval and can go home. If he doesn’t, his father sends a note to his aunts along with him, to let them know he needs to learn to pay better attention.

On days like that, he can’t help dragging his feet on the way back. At least he’s allowed to actually walk to and from his father’s work, instead of having to take a whole carriage all by himself. It hadn’t been easy to convince his aunts to let him, but they came to agree that the exercise would be good for them. Help him work off all that unruly, troublesome energy he always seemed to have, especially since he had to be on his best behavior for Aiichirou. 

It’s one such day, when the note acts as a chain around his ankle and slows his steps to a crawl, that he finds his eyes pulled towards the trees just beside him. It pulls at him. The possibility that he could just... not listen to them, and set off into that dark, green wood right this second. Nothing’s stopping him out here. This road is Shindo property as well, so apart from themselves, only employees on errands and invited guests use it. Even his father only comes up to the manor for special occasions, too absorbed with his work as governor to waste time going back and forth.

He could go. Disappear and not have to face what’s waiting for him at home. At that moment, he thinks just about anything would be better than turning this note over to his aunts and facing their disappointment and love directly.

So that’s just what he does. He takes one more look before and behind him, to make sure no one’s watching. No one ever is. And then, Ainosuke takes a deep breath and turns to walk deliberately into the trees.

Even when he gets deep enough into the woods that the sun only barely dapples through the leaves, it doesn’t feel scary. Nor does it frighten him when he eventually turns around and realizes he can’t see the path at all. In a way, it feels protective. He’s sure that he’s right. There’s something wonderful on the other side of all these trees - he just has to find it.

He’s so absorbed in the thrill and his own admiration of the forest, that he forgets. This place doesn’t exist for him either. It’s its own beast, and too hazardous to drop one’s guard around for long. He doesn’t realize this until, awed by a large boulder that trees have managed to grow out of, he takes a wrong step. The ground shifts under him, and he finds himself falling backwards, tumbling down a steep slope before he realizes what’s happened. The best he can do to protect himself is try to cover his head and keep his eyes shut, grunting as he hits and rolls over rocks and roots and underbrush, until he winds up rolling into a larger, sturdier bush. He has just enough time to feel relieved that it stopped him, before he gets a look at himself. His clothes are covered in dirt and plant litter now, and there’s a tear in his sleeve. His legs are all scratched up, including a particularly bad one just under his knee. And his cloak’s stuck in the bush. 

Hands still shaking, he tries to pull it loose, but he can’t seem to gather up any strength. All that runs through his head is what his aunts will think if they ever see what a mess he made. However mad they might’ve gotten over the note, this will make it so much worse. 

He looks around anxiously. He doesn’t know where to go from here, what direction will take him deeper or bring him back home. Even if he knew where he wanted to go, he wouldn’t be able to find it on his own. And... he doesn’t know how long he’s been out here. Time’s hard to gauge with the trees blotting out the sun so well. But it might start getting dark soon, and then what will he do?

Big, helpless tears well up in his eyes as it starts to sink in just how much trouble he’s in, and he can’t help but sob. He should’ve listened to his aunts. They’re always telling him they know what’s best for him, and here’s proof. He finally made a decision all by himself, and it just wound up being an awful mistake.

He doesn’t hear the crack of twigs and leaves as something approaches, or see the almost glowing green eyes watching him. All he can do is cry and wish he hadn’t done any of this, until he hears a soft voice say, “Excuse me... are you okay?”

Ainosuke jumps, looks around wildly for the source. What he finds is another boy in a gray cloak, hood pulled down far enough that he can’t see his face very well under the shadows of the trees. But from his height, he looks only a little bit older than him. What’s someone like that doing out here?

“You’re from the big house, right?” The boy crouches down, and Ainosuke can see a little better that he’s smiling. “Do you need some help?”

Ainosuke isn’t supposed to talk to strangers. But he’s already done a lot of things he’s not supposed to today, so it’s not like he can make anything worse. He wipes his eyes with his sleeve, and nods. 

The boy’s smile relaxes a little, and he looks at the scratch on Ainosuke’s leg. After a slight ‘hm’, he tears a strip of cloth off his own cloak and ties it around the injury. Ainosuke can’t help but notice how long his nails are - they look kind of cool. “You’ll want to clean it when you get home,” he instructs, before turning to carefully work Ainosuke’s red cloak out of the bush’s brambles, “But at least it’s not still bleeding much. Do you think you can walk on it?”

“Y- yeah. I think so,” Ainosuke says, though he would’ve said the same even if it was broken. Pain was something to be worked through, and admitting you couldn’t do something when someone was going out of their way to help you was just not acceptable.

“If you’re sure,” the boy says, standing once he’s finished freeing the cloak, and offering Ainosuke a hand up. “But we’ll go slowly just in case, okay? I know a shortcut, so it shouldn’t be too far a walk.”

“Mm... thank you,” he says, because that’s the polite thing to do, and takes the boy’s hand. His palm feels a little rough, almost scratchy, but he helps him up carefully and even steadies him when Ainosuke wobbles a little.

“Are sure you’re alright?” He sounds so honestly worried, like the servants sometimes are, that Ainosuke can’t help but pause. He tries shifting his weight a few times, before nodding more confidently. This much pain really isn’t bad. The boy tilts his head, still sounding uncertain when he says, “If you say so... but let me know if you need a break, okay?”

“I will,” Ainosuke assures him, and the stranger smiles again before leading him by the hand away from where he’d fallen. This still doesn’t really feel real. Meeting a mysterious and helpful stranger like this... it’s more like something from a fairy tale than his life. “Do you, um... live out here?”

“...Yes. Further in, though,” the boy says, not looking back at him, “It’s pretty lucky I heard you. There’s some really scary animals that could have instead, you know.”

“I know,” Ainosuke says, grumbling just a bit. He does, really, but he hasn’t seen anything bigger than a rabbit so far, so the reminder leaves him feeling a little petulant. To change the subject, he asks, “Do you like living out here? Is it fun?”

“...Well, it’s my home. There are a lot of things I like about it. Not very many people to talk to, though.” He says it lightly, like it’s not really a big deal. But Ainosuke looks down at their joined hands, and wonders. Especially when the boy turns back to add, “There’s a lot of people in your house, right? I’m sure a place like this seems a lot more boring, compared to that.”

Ainosuke pauses. His first impulse is to smile and praise his family and house, because he’s supposed to, and it will keep the conversation going. But what he winds up saying, quieter than he meant to, is, “There are, but... I can’t really talk to them either. Any of them.”

“Oh... I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

The soft way the stranger says that, the easy way he apologizes instead of demanding that Ainosuke feel grateful for what he has, makes his chest feel tight. For a moment, it’s enough to distract him from a rather pressing question. Only a moment, though. “...How do you know I live there, anyway?”

“Oh, um. Well...” Now he sounds embarrassed, which is kind of a relief. The way he keeps acting all calm and confident reminds Ainosuke of adults - it’s good to be reminded that this boy really isn’t much older than him. “I go watch, sometimes. Just from the trees.” Then he turns back and even under the hood, Ainosuke can see he looks a little nervous when he asks, “Don’t tell anyone, please? I’m not supposed to get that close.”

That makes sense - his aunts never allow trespassers. Ainosuke squeezes his hand, and promises, “I won’t.” 

The boy sounds relieved when he thanks him, and turns back ahead to keep leading him through the woods, helps him over fallen trees, steadies him when he almost trips on roots or stones. Every now and then the boy pauses and seems to sniff the air, before continuing with just a slight adjustment to their route. It’s a funny little habit - does living out in the woods help your sense of smell? Ainosuke can’t quite bring himself to ask. He’s worried it might be rude.

He doesn’t know how long it takes, but gradually the trees start to thin and more sunlight makes its way down to reach them. That, at least, is a relief. Maybe he hadn’t been gone as long as he thought - that sparks a bit of hope in him, even as he can see the manor in the distance. He still has the note to deliver, and his clothes are still filthy... but if he can get inside without his aunts seeing him, maybe he can change into something clean before they realize. The outfits they buy for him all look the same, it could work.

Well before they actually reach the treeline, though, the boy stops. With obvious reluctance, he says, “This is as far as I can go.” He hasn’t let go of Ainosuke’s hand yet, and looks down with some worry at the still-bandaged scratch. “Is your leg still okay? Can you manage the rest of the way yourself?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” But he doesn’t let go of the boy’s hand either. He doesn’t want to. Meeting this mysterious boy is the most interesting thing to ever happen to him, and there’s still so much more he wants to know about him. But Ainosuke knows how important it is to get back quickly, if he’s to have any hope at all of doing damage control. Still- “I won’t... I won’t tell anyone you were here. So... can I see you again?”

Even under the shadow of his hood, Ainosuke can see his eyes widening with surprise. “Eh?”

“I go into town the same day every week. If- if you want, we can play together on my way back. Or just talk, or walk together.” He grabs both of the boy's hands, squeezes them tight, and gets close enough that he can tell the boy’s eyes are green. “Please?”

“Um...” For a horrible moment, the boy looks away, and Ainosuke is sure he’s going to say no. But then the uncertainty clears into a slightly shy smile. “...Sure. Okay! If you really promise you won’t tell anyone.”

“Of course!” Ainosuke just can’t help beaming at the agreement. He’s making a friend, he realizes. A real one, who he can see every week. “My name’s Ainosuke. What’s yours?”

“...Tadashi,” the boy says, shyness starting to ease into a warmer smile, “Now hurry up home. And make sure to wash that scratch properly, okay?”

Ainosuke nods, feeling as light and excited as he had when he first thought of trying to make his way through the forest. It hadn’t gone the way he wanted, but he had found something special out there in the woods after all. His decision hadn’t been a mistake. He waves back at Tadashi as he leaves, and then hurries to sneak inside as quickly as possible.

As if all the planets aligned just right, Ainosuke’s little adventure managed to go unnoticed. He was able to sneak his clothes into the laundry without his aunts finding out, and the servants in charge of the washing apparently chose not to bring it up to them. Sometimes they do things like that - overlook little problems he causes - and though he can’t thank them, he’s always desperately grateful. He faces nothing worse than the usual punishment for failing with his father, and only gets a normal scolding for falling and scraping his leg, accepting that as the explanation for why it took him so long to make the trip back.

It still hurts, as it always does. But knowing how much worse it could’ve been, he’s able to accept their love with sincere gratitude.

Even so, he plays it safe the rest of the week, listening to everything they say extra carefully and not taking a single step out of line. The only betrayal he makes of his own feelings is in private, where he can’t stop himself from perching at the nearest window to stare out at the forest, or from taking out the gray strip of the boy’s robe he carefully cleaned and hid in his room to look at. He wonders where Tadashi lives in there. Maybe his father’s a hunter, or a woodcutter. His aunts always talk like there’s no one around their land for miles and miles, but maybe they don’t know everything. That’s kind of an appealing thought.

He counts down the days carefully, impatiently. Only the knowledge that letting his eagerness show would get him a sharp smack for being fussy keeps the bubbly feeling in check. At last, when the week is up and it's time for him to go into town again, he dons his eye-catching red cloak and sets out early. Tadashi should definitely be able to spot him, as long as he’s wearing this.

There’s still a little nervousness, though, as he sets down the usual path. He wonders if Tadashi will really be there. Ainosuke knows it’s... probably not okay for them to play together. When his father caught him talking with some of the children in town once instead of going straight home, he’d pulled Ainosuke away from them so hard he’d left bruises in his arm where his fingers dug in. Then sent Ainosuke back with a note about it to his aunts. He told them that Ainosuke had been wasting time playing around, and that they clearly hadn’t taught him well enough what kind of people were suitable companions.

So they reminded him, lovingly, that their family was special. They explained, over and over, that he mustn’t lower himself like that by playing with the wrong sort of people, until he’d repeated his agreement so many times the words felt branded on his tongue. Another night he wasn’t able to sleep, and had to bury his sobs into his pillow so no one could hear them and get mad at him for being a crybaby.

But even if he wanted to try again, more carefully, the next time he went into town the children there gave him a wide berth. He wondered if his father also told them that they weren’t supposed to talk to him. Of course, he didn’t ask; he didn’t want to make it sound like he hadn’t learned his lesson.

Still... Tadashi doesn’t live in town. He might be special too. So maybe it’s okay to talk to him.

Ainosuke really, really hopes it’s okay.

A few minutes after he turns to check and sees the manor’s disappeared from view behind him, he finally hears a soft voice call out, “Ainosuke?”

Right away, Ainosuke’s heart skips, and he looks around frantically for the source. It’s a little funny how easily Tadashi blends into the trees with that cloak, but once he really starts looking closely he’s able to spot him quickly. Beaming, he runs right over to the boy. “You’re here!”

Tadashi nods, tugs his hood further over his face. “I told you I’d come, didn’t I?”

“Mm, you did.” Ainosuke grins, grabs his hand just like last time. “C’mon, let’s walk to town together.”

But Tadashi hesitates, doesn’t even take a step towards him. “...I know a quicker way through the woods,” he says, eyeing the path behind Ainosuke with an odd look, “Let’s go that way instead.”

“If it’s quicker, we won’t be able to talk as long,” Ainosuke retorts, with a small pout. “Don’t you want to?”

“I... I do, it’s just...” Tadashi tugs at his hood again, which strikes Ainosuke as odd. Why’s he even wearing it, anyway? It’s such a nice day out, and they’re alone... why does he still want to hide? In fact, a lot of things are standing out as a little strange, now that he’s looking more carefully and they’re somewhere with more light. Tadashi’s nails aren’t just long, but sharp. His hood looks oddly lumpy, and his cloak keeps shifting a little even though he’s standing still. And he still won’t step out from the trees, still seems to be hiding in shadow.

A kind of frustration bubbles up in Ainosuke. He’d been so excited the whole time, but Tadashi’s acting like he doesn’t really want to be here. On impulse, he grabs both of Tadashi’s hands and yanks him forward, saying, “ C’mon , what’s the big deal?”

“Ah-!” Tadashi stumbles forward, then jerks back out of his grip, hard enough to fall backwards. It hurts. It feels like rejection. At least in the few seconds between Tadashi’s fall, and his hood slipping off. Revealing a head of fluffy-looking black hair, and two furry, pointed ears.

Immediately, Tadashi clamps his hands down over them, and his eyes snap up to Ainosuke’s face. Ainosuke can see better now the fur on Tadashi’s face and neck, and a black tail just showing under his cloak too. He thinks of the stories he’s heard, the ones he’s not supposed to listen to, and wonders why Tadashi’s the one who looks so scared.

“...I’m sorry,” Ainosuke manages to say, voice very small, “I shouldn’t have grabbed like that.”

“N-no, it’s...” Tadashi looks away, presses down on his ears harder. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t... trying to trick you, really...”

There’s a long moment of quiet between them. He is afraid too, Ainosuke realizes, but... only that Tadashi might run away if he doesn’t say the right thing here. “...It’s okay,” he says, almost forcefully, “You look a little like a puppy, y’know? It’s cute.”

Tadashi blinks, lifts his eyes back up towards him. “Cute?”

“Yeah! I’m not allowed to have a dog... one of my aunts doesn’t like them at all. But I do! A lot, actually.” Tadashi keeps staring at him like he can’t believe it. Ainosuke finds he doesn’t mind. Now that he can see Tadashi’s eyes in full light, it’s amazing how green they are. “So, what are you?”

“I’m, um... I’m a wolf, actually,” he mutters, letting go of his ears slowly, though they stay pressed pretty flat all on their own. “My father says... I shouldn’t leave the forest until I can change right. This is the best I can do right now.”

“Oh...” Ainosuke thinks first of the punishments he’s faced for breaking the rules, and then of hunters, and the fur skins he’s seen adults wear, and has to suppress a small shudder. Instead, he nods and offers Tadashi a hand up. “Alright. We can walk in the forest, then.”

For a moment, Tadashi just looks at the outstretched hand, before raising his eyes tentatively to Ainosuke’s own. “You... don’t mind?”

“I’ve taken this stupid path a hundred times - it’s probably way more interesting in there.” Besides, if Tadashi was going to do anything bad, he wouldn’t have brought him home safely in the first place. And he can’t really see Tadashi as one of the scary animals he’s heard about - even less when the wolf bursts into a relieved smile and takes his hand to first stand, and then lead him through the forest.

That it is absolutely more interesting going Tadashi’s way winds up being a nice plus. The forest itself would be enough of a spectacle on its own, Ainosuke knows that from yesterday. But with Tadashi’s intimate knowledge of it, each little sound and sight begs a demand for answers. Ainosuke worries, at first, about asking too many questions. He knows it’s rude. He knows it’s better to be quiet and obedient, to not pester the boy going out of his way for him. 

But Tadashi answers everything with a smile, looking happy at Ainosuke’s interest. He doesn’t get impatient or scold him for asking stupid questions. He identifies an unusual bird call, and tells him how old an especially large tree is likely to be, and gives him the name of a flower Ainosuke’s never seen in the manor’s garden. When Ainosuke asks, just to be sure, if he’s talking too much, Tadashi seems honestly surprised at the question.

“No, not at all! I’m really glad you like this place.” He smiles, and from the way his cloak swishes back and forth, Ainosuke’s pretty sure his tail’s wagging. 

Before they leave, Ainosuke asks if Tadashi will walk back with him too. The wolf’s tail wags again, and he promises, though he’ll wait further in. It shouldn’t be too much trouble to know when to come back, he assures. Between his sharp sense of smell and Ainosuke’s bright red cloak, Tadashi’s absolutely sure he’ll never have any trouble finding him.

The first thing Ainosuke does, now that he knows seeing Tadashi isn’t just going to be a one-time thing, is ask his aunts for a pocket watch. He does it as sweetly as he can, insisting he never wants to keep them or his father waiting. They frown and insist that if he just did what they said when they said rather than daydream and drag his feet, he wouldn’t have to worry about being late for anything. 

But the next day, a butler gives him one with a smile and a wink. “It’s a bit old, but it should keep time well enough. Take good care of it, young master.” Ainosuke beamed and promised he would.

Now he’d always know how long he and Tadashi could play together, and when he’d have to head back to his family in one direction or the other. And when he proudly shows it off to Tadashi the next time they meet, the wolf is fascinated by the ticking and design. He asks how it works and how Ainosuke knows how to read it. It makes him feel a little proud, that he’s able to show Tadashi something new and teach him, too.

Especially since Tadashi seems to have an endless supply of knowledge and adventures to share. Everything he says is fascinating. He teaches Ainosuke how to climb trees, then worries in a way that’s cute instead of suffocating when Ainosuke winds up going even higher than him. He shows him a whole clearing full of wildflowers, and demonstrates how to weave them into a crown. He explains what he knows about the forest’s history, and how there used to be more wolves like him and his father living here a long time ago.

Now they’re the only two of their kind left here. When the Shindo family built their estate out in the woods, most of the ones who could turn human left on their own, either to integrate or find a more secluded place to live. Even his mother left when he was younger, after a close call with a hunter, though his father refused to leave the place that had been his home all his life.

Ainosuke doesn’t interrupt, but he does absorb the whole story with a deepening sense of worry, and can’t help but ask at the end, “Are you mad at me, then?”

Tadashi looks at him with surprise. “Why would I be?”

“Because... my family caused problems for yours.”

“ You didn’t, though,” Tadashi says, tilting his head curiously. “Getting mad at you for something someone else did wouldn’t make any sense.”

It’s a relief, but there’s always a piece of Ainosuke that can’t help but wonder. Tadashi seems to have an endless supply of patience and kindness, but surely one day he’ll reach the end of it. What will he do then? 

The only solution he can come up with is to try and give back as much as he can. At least Tadashi does seem equally fascinated by Aionsuke’s stories of what his own home and the nearby city are like, but that alone doesn’t feel like enough. Ainosuke starts bringing a bag with him, under the excuse that it’s to carry paper and assignments his father gives him. His aunts seem pleased that he’s taking these excursions more seriously, and don’t notice at all when he starts sneaking things like snacks and picture books out with him.

The books Tadashi really seems to love in particular. His green eyes sparkle at the intricate illustrations, and while he can’t read himself, he listens with rapt attention at each twist in the fairy tales when Ainosuke reads it out loud for him. Seeing how much he likes it, he offers to let Tadashi keep one for a while, but the wolf shakes his head and says, “I wouldn’t have anywhere to keep it nice.” 

So Ainosuke just decides to bring more books with him and share even more stories. Maybe he can even teach Tadashi to read - surely that would be a good way to make up for everything Tadashi’s taught him. The idea leaves a proud, fluttering feeling in his chest. He likes it, he realizes. He likes being able to make this person - this wolf - who’s been so nice to him happy.

It’s even worth the days he winds up coming home a little dirty, or when his aunts find some of his belongings are misplaced, and has to face another scolding. Not that he likes making his aunts upset, of course. It’s not nice to upset the people who love you. It’s ungrateful, and Ainosuke never wants to be ungrateful. But he wouldn’t give up Tadashi for anything.

One day, though, the morning after an especially vicious night, he can’t help but feel a little down. Even though Tadashi greets him with his usual gentle smile, he can’t bring himself to return it as brightly as he wants to.

When he sees that, Tadashi’s expression shifts into puzzlement. “Ainosuke? Are you okay?” He reaches to take his hand, and Ainosuke can’t help but flinch back, only able to worry about Tadashi touching his still-tender arm.

“Yeah, of course,” he says, trying to sound convincing and failing, from the way Tadashi’s confusion deepens into concern. His eyes are so big and anxious... Ainosuke looks down, and lets out a small sigh. He really doesn’t want to talk about it, but he can’t just ignore that pleading puppy look. “I just... had a bad night, that’s all. Or rather, I was bad, so-”

“What do you mean?” Tadashi asks, still looking entirely lost, “You’re not bad, Ainosuke.”

It hurts that Tadashi really seems to believe that, and even more that he has to correct him. “No, I was... I got some dirt on those books I brought with me last time, and my aunts noticed and got mad at me. Apparently they were pretty old, so it was a bigger deal than I thought.” 

“‘That’s just a mistake, then. That’s different from being bad.”

“...Even if it’s a mistake, it’s important for them to correct me. Otherwise I’ll just keep getting things wrong.” He catches himself rubbing at his forearm, and has to make himself stop. “I mean, you know, right? Your father loves you, so he must...” He trails off as no understanding dawns on Tadashi’s face. Did wolves not do this kind of thing? Ainosuke pauses, but the confusion finally drives him to pull back one of his sleeves to show the pattern of bruises there, all the way up to the elbow. “Doesn’t he make sure you learn how to behave?”

Tadashi doesn’t say anything, but from the uncomprehending way he stares at Ainosuke’s arm answers his question just fine. “They did that to you over some books...” Tadashi mutters, like he’s trying to make the words make sense to himself, then he looks Ainosuke in the eye and asks, “Do... most humans do this kind of thing to their children?”

Is Tadashi... angry? Ainosuke’s never seen the wolf angry before, so he’s not completely sure. But there’s a kind of growl in his voice, and a sort of shadow in his green eyes. If he is, Ainosuke doesn’t understand why, but worries it’s his fault.

“Um... well...” Ainosuke furrows his brow, never having considered it. “I guess... I don’t know. I’ve never asked anyone else.” Not that he thinks he could have, even if he had the opportunity. It’s embarrassing, after all, how often they need to fix him. “But they only do it because they love me. Your father really doesn’t do anything like this?”

Tadashi shakes his head. Oh. Hm. Ainosuke really hopes it’s just that wolves do things differently, or that Tadashi’s just good enough that he’s never needed correction - he hates thinking that Tadashi’s father might not love him. Tadashi’s so nice, Ainosuke thinks he deserves all the love in the world. 

As if to prove his point, Tadashi says more quietly, “If... if you’re gonna get hurt like this over it, then you don’t have to bring things out to me anymore. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

Ainosuke huffs at the idea. “I get in trouble all the time. If it wasn’t that, it’d be something else.” It’s true, there’s always something about him to criticize. But when he actually says it out loud like that... something about it sounds a little strange. Almost like his aunts try to find things wrong with him. No, no, even if they do, he insists to himself quickly, it’s just proof they love him, that they work so hard to make sure he’s perfect. And in any case... Ainosuke puts his hands on his hips and says with certainty, “I like reading to you, and showing you things. It’s really fun. Even if they get mad about it, I don’t want to stop. I’ll just be more careful, that’s all.”

Tadashi’s eyes widen, and for a moment his mouth hangs open with surprise. Then he looks away, before asking, “Then... at least, can I do something for you that my father does when I get hurt?” Ainosuke nods. He can’t help feeling a little wary - he’s never really gotten anything nice from his father when he’s gotten hurt - but he trusts Tadashi.

At the approval, Tadashi starts to change. The process is smooth, almost fluid, but makes Ainosuke’s head hurt to actually try and watch. The closest comparison his mind can make is an ink blot taking shape, and that’s not really right either. But it’s over quickly, and the result is a small, black puppy of a wolf who paws at Ainosuke’s arm. This is the first time Tadashi’s ever shown himself like this to him... realizing that makes Ainosuke’s heartbeat quicken. He’s really small, Ainosuke thinks as he kneels down, even though Tadashi’s taller than him as a boy.

When he offers his arm out, Tadashi gives the bruises a few gentle licks, before trying to climb up into Ainosuke’s lap. At first, Ainosuke just blinks at him, but quickly smiles and pulls the small wolf into a tight hug. Once he starts... he finds he doesn’t want to let go. Tadashi’s fur is more wiry than fluffy, but he’s warm and solid. It feels nice to hold him this close, even though it makes his arms sting. Tadashi doesn’t fuss or squirm the way a regular dog probably would - he just nuzzles his nose against Ainosuke’s arm and accepts his need as patiently as always.

Of course, Ainosuke decides, wolves are different from humans. It only makes sense that their love would be different too. What a relief it is, to know that there’s at least one kind out there that doesn’t have to hurt.

No one catches them. No one stops them. For years, the highlight of Ainosuke’s week is the time he gets to spend with Tadashi. It doesn’t matter what the weather’s like, if it’s burning or freezing out, Ainosuke makes the trek no matter what. His aunts take it as proof of how dedicated he is to learning from his father. He lets them.

As he gets older, too, he grows bolder. He stops waiting for just one day a week and finds other chances to sneak out into the woods and call for Tadashi. Sometimes it takes a little while, but Tadashi always shows up eventually, smiling and happy to see him. 

It doesn’t matter what they do, whether Tadashi takes him to show him some new facet of the forest he discovered, or if they play a game, or just sit and talk for a while. As long as they’re together, Ainosuke can breathe easily. He knows now that he doesn’t have to be afraid of annoying Tadashi or making him upset. Tadashi worries sometimes, especially the few times Ainosuke’s run off to explore something dangerous on his own; but even after all this time, the wolf’s never hurt him, and offers forgiveness and understanding without any conditions attached.

Is it a surprise, then, that he wants as much time with Tadashi as he can get? Especially when his aunts start taking him on more and more trips away from the manor. These were rare when he was younger, they remind him, because his behavior would’ve only embarrassed them. But by ten, they deem him old enough to at least know how he’s supposed to act, and take him to other cities and estates to visit their friends and more distant relatives that Ainosuke only vaguely remembers from parties. 

It was exciting the first time, when he naively thought he might have fun being somewhere else. But he soon learned better. Every time they take him on one of these excursions, he feels like he’s being forced to walk a thin, narrow line. He’s always with at least one of them. If he’s not perfectly polite, perfectly charming, they always notice. No fidgeting. No letting his mind wander. No letting the smile drop for even a moment. Answer every question politely and cheerfully. Perform every trick they ask of him to impress the other adults. Be better, more impressive, than every other child who may be present. And if he falters, he knows what’s waiting for him when they get home.

He always falters somehow, in some way. He’s never quite good enough to make them happy. Sometimes he wonders if it’s even possible for him to be, if he’s not just... broken in some way, that makes what they want from him impossible.

There is one good thing about these trips, though. They at least take him to see interesting things, like museums and operas. He’d be fascinated by them on their own, but the thought of being able to bring the memory of them back to Tadashi gives him all the more reason to pay close attention and remember everything. He doesn’t want to miss even a single detail to share. When he comes back, he acts out what he remembers of shows and ballets for Tadashi, and tries to recreate the paintings he sees with sketches of his own. Even his pale imitations leave Tadashi awed and applauding him - it makes Ainosuke wonder how he’d react getting to see the real thing.

On one such trip, he’s determined to bring Tadashi back something real. Something he wouldn’t be able to find in the forest, and something Ainosuke can’t just imitate. At one shop they drag him along to, he sees exactly the right thing. A ruby pendant in the shape of two small, linked hearts. It doesn’t occur to him to wonder why he’d rather see Tadashi wear something red, rather than the green of the wolf’s own eyes.

He has to ask his aunts to buy it for him. At first, they look at him with concern, the eldest sniffing lightly before saying, “That’s quite a feminine piece, Ainosuke. You’re already twelve - it’s hardly appropriate for a boy your age.”

The criticism makes him wonder if maybe Tadashi will think so too... but Tadashi’s not a boy. He’s a wolf. That’s not something he can explain to them, though, so instead he says, “It’s not for me. I want to get it as a gift for someone.” 

That’s honest enough, and fortunately seems to be the right thing. Their expressions soften into something like amusement as they all exchange a look. One even chuckles a bit when she says, “A gift, is it? Perhaps Solange’s daughter caught his eye.”

Another raises an eyebrow at the comment, tilting her head slightly. “Oh, her? I rather thought Charlotte’s little girl was growing up to be quite charming.” 

“Regardless, we need no keep an eye on this,” the eldest says, only glancing down at him briefly, before turning back to her sisters, “But I suppose it’s harmless enough to know who he's leaning towards.”

Ainosuke doesn’t really understand what they’re talking about, but they buy the pendant for him, and he keeps it safe the whole ride home. He’s practically buzzing the whole day until he can manage to sneak out, wondering what Tadashi’s reaction will be, and how he’ll look wearing it. He’s brought Tadashi other things, but never anything the wolf can keep. 

The stunned, disbelieving look on Tadashi’s face is more than worth it. He examines the pendant carefully, like he’s afraid he’ll break it. “This is for me?” he says, sounding kind of breathless, his eyes sparkling and reflecting the bit of red, “Is- is that really okay? Something this nice...”

“Of course! I got it just for you. If you don’t take it, it’ll just be stuck in a box forever.” Instead, he grins and tugs at his red cloak - not quite as vibrant as his old one, but the most he could get his aunts to agree to buy him. “Besides, if you wear that, we can match.”

That makes Tadashi’s whole face light up. “Okay! Thank you so much.” His tail’s wagging hard, enough that it almost knocks into Ainosuke as he latches the clasp for Tadashi. The red is pretty on him - both the necklace, and the blush on his cheeks. Impulsively, Ainosuke reaches up to pet his head. Tadashi looks a little bashful, but doesn’t tell him to stop and his tail keeps wagging just as hard. “I’ll be really careful with it, I promise. I won’t lose it, ever.”

“You better not, I don’t think I could get a second one.” Ainosuke tries to sound stern, but winds up laughing. He’s really not worried - he knows Tadashi will keep his word. “There were a lot of really pretty things in the store, though. I wish I could’ve shown you.”

“Mm, that would’ve been nice,” Tadashi says, smiling a bit. “But I’m glad that you always tell me about them.”

“I guess...” It doesn’t feel like enough, though. Tadashi might be happy with that much, but it only makes Ainosuke want to give him more. If he could offer the entire world to him on a platter, he would, and it still wouldn’t feel like he’d given enough back, in comparison to how happy Tadashi makes him. But it might be a start. So he asks, “...Hey, why don’t we go together, someday? When you’re better at looking human, you could go into towns and cities and be perfectly safe.”

“Eh?”

“Then you can see the things I’ve talked about yourself.” Ainosuke beams at the thought. “Going with my aunts is always so boring, but if we went somewhere together, I know it’d be way more fun.” He takes Tadashi’s hand, mind already bursting with ideas. He wonders how Tadashi’s eyes would sparkle if he could see a museum full of paintings, not just the little illustrations in books, or what he’d think of the wide blue of the ocean, or if he could hear music from a real orchestra. Ainosuke wants to find those things out as badly as he wants to go somewhere - anywhere - that isn’t his own home.

“...It does sound fun, but...” Tadashi pauses, forehead creasing with worry. “Would your aunts let you go with me?”

That question makes Ainosuke’s chest tighten, some painful feeling he can’t quite name squeezing around his heart. He glances down at Tadashi’s hand in his, and laces their fingers together. “Maybe not right now, but... I’ll be an adult too, one day. And then I’ll be able to go wherever I want, with whoever I want.” He says it with full belief, like his conviction alone will be enough to make it come true, as he lifts his head to look Tadashi in the eye. “And I want to go everywhere with you.”

The admission hangs in the air for a while undisturbed. Then, Tadashi nods very slightly, and gives his hand a squeeze. “Me too,” he admits, and Ainosuke doesn’t understand why he sounds so nervous. But since it’s quickly replaced by a warm smile, he’s able to put it out of his mind. “Then... I’ll make sure to practice really hard. So I’ll be ready.”

Something flutters in Ainosuke’s chest, bright and hopeful, and it stays there even when he’s back home. Now that he knows a future he actually wants, it feels so much easier to get through each day. He’s not just doing whatever it takes to avoid more disappointment and pain, forever and ever. It’s all going towards something else - a day when he and Tadashi can leave together.

He even dares to think, sometimes, that he doesn’t have to be afraid of losing his aunts’ love. Not when he knows he’ll still have Tadashi’s even then.

Ainosuke’s father rarely comes up to the manor. The trip may not be a long one, but Aiichirou takes his work seriously, and his sisters are perfectly capable of managing the estate and child that are still technically his. He only really bothers when they’re hosting a party - and on Ainosuke’s thirteenth birthday, he even arrives a little early. 

That sort of thing might have made Ainosuke excited at one point, thrilled at the idea that his father might want to spend time with him outside of work. But now, he can only feel suspicious at the unexpected change in routine. When Aiichirou goes to speak to his sisters alone, that only confirms to Ainosuke that he should be worried. Nothing in this house happens without reason.

He sneaks over to the hallway outside the parlor, where they always like to go to talk privately. The door’s shut, but when he presses his ear to the crack, he can make out what they’re saying.

“I’m telling you, I’ve checked with everyone we know.” His middle aunt, sounding exasperated. “He didn’t give it to anyone. It must be some girl nearby.”

His father, in comparison, sounds close to bored with his response. “Even so, at his age, it’s likely a passing fancy. I don’t see why you’re so worked up over it.”

“It’s because he’s young that we must nip this in the bud.” His eldest aunt, stern enough that it makes the hair on Ainosuke’s neck stand up, even from here. “ If he hasn’t learned yet that he can’t go mindlessly throwing himself at people so far below him, we must take more drastic measures.”

He almost misses his youngest aunt, and the way she mutters in frustration, “Besides, he’s been running wild lately. He never seems to be around when it isn’t time for his lessons, and I swear, his clothes are always a mess-”

“And the three of you can’t keep a handle on one boy?” Aiichirou snorts slightly, actually sounding amused, “I certainly hope you aren’t sharing that little fact with anyone.”

But his eldest aunt refuses to be cowed or spoken over, as usual. “It’s because he’s gotten so bad that even we can’t keep a handle on him anymore, that we need you to do something about this. Your old school has a good reputation, and I know quite a few families sending their boys there already. It’ll be just what he needs, to learn how to properly conduct himself with his peers.”

At that, Ainosuke flinches. He knows what they’re talking about - his father hasn’t really talked to him directly about it, but he’s been around enough conversations to have heard about the boarding school Aiichirou went to when he was younger. It’s very well-regarded. Very well-regulated. And very, very far away. 

“Hn...” He holds his breath as he tries to hear his father’s response. “You may have a point. It would be an invaluable experience.”

Ainosuke doesn’t think about what he does next. All he can feel is panic, and there’s only one thing he knows can ease it. He grabs his cloak, sneaks out, and heads to the woods. This isn’t something that can wait. If they’re already suspicious about how he’s spending his time, then he can’t guarantee how many other chances he’ll have to tell Tadashi what’s about to happen.

“Tadashi!”, he calls, not caring who or what might hear him, only desperate to find his one and only friend, “Tadashi, are you here?” He heads deeper into the trees, the shadows, without even the slightest bit of hesitation. He’s bigger now. Older. The forest hasn’t felt scary at all for a very long time now. If he could be swallowed up by it completely, he thinks that might even be a good thing. This place is where Tadashi lives, after all. If it ate him, they could always be together.

“Ainosuke?”

Finally. He turns, and sees Tadashi making his way towards him, eyes wide and anxious, and sounding a little out of breath. “Are you okay? You look- you look upset.”

Ainosuke throws himself at him, wrapping his arms tight around Tadashi’s neck. Everything feels better when he can do this. As long as he can hold Tadashi’s weight and warmth in his hands. “I... heard my aunts and father talking. They said... they’re going to make me leave. And go to some stupid school far away.”

“...Eh?”

“I don’t want to go,” he says, feeling a sob threatening to burst as he clings to the wolf, “I’d be gone almost all the time... I don’t want to be apart for that long...”

Tadashi hugs him back, but there’s a hesitance to the gesture and in his voice when he says, “I don’t either, but... I’ll wait. Until you come back. No matter how long it takes, I promise I’ll wait.”

Hearing that doesn’t help at all. Ainosuke shakes his head and squeezes Tadashi even tighter. He can’t. He doesn’t want to be alone again. Now that he knows what it feels like to have someone at his side, someone who makes him happy, he won’t be able to bear losing it. Tadashi wouldn’t even be able to write to him. He’d be trapped, all alone, in a place full of strangers, and have nothing of his closest friend there at all.

He sniffles a little, and even as a part of him knows the futility of what he’s about to say, he has to ask anyway. “Tadashi... you said you’d go anywhere with me, right?” Tadashi pauses, but nods. “Then- then let’s leave. Right now. And run away to somewhere else, where they won’t find us.”

“Ainosuke...” That’s all Tadashi says, before pushing him away. That he’s gentle about it somehow makes it worse. “I don’t... think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? You said you wanted to-”

“But we’re not prepared right now. We don’t have food, or a place to go. I still can’t change right.” Tadashi’s hands are softer now, declawed, and there’s no fur on his face anymore. But his tail remains visible, even tucked between his legs like it is now, and his ears have stubbornly kept their furry, pointed shape. “And, my father... I can’t just leave without telling him.” 

What he’s saying makes sense. Even as he feels his heart breaking, Ainosuke can understand that much. What he can’t understand is how Tadashi can stand there and be so calm and reasonable, even though something so awful is about to happen. Why won’t he get upset, or try to come up with another solution? Doesn’t he care?

Then, Tadashi says, not even looking at him, “And... and maybe you’ll like it. There’s other human children at schools, right? A lot of them. You’ll definitely... be able to make new friends, so-”

In Ainosuke’s panic, that Tadashi would even suggest such a thing feels like confirmation of his fears. “I don’t want new friends!”, he insists, trying to grab Tadashi’s arms again, “I just want to be with you. Tadashi, please...”

But Tadashi steps back, and doesn't let him even touch him. The unhappiness on the wolf’s face is plain, but it’s not even close to enough. “I’m sorry,” Tadashi says, quiet but unwavering, “But... I really think it’s better if you go.”

A long, awful moment passes before Ainosuke realizes he wants to hurt Tadashi. Wants to shove him, scream at him, make him take it back, force him to change his mind. He bites the inside of his mouth hard, trying to catch the pain in his chest somewhere else, and squeezes his cloak so his hands can’t do anything else.

“Fine,” Ainosuke says, because if he doesn’t he’ll do something worse, “If you really don’t need me, I don’t need you either.”

It hurts Tadashi anyway, and the injured look on the wolf’s face stirs shame and satisfaction in him both. “Ai-Ainosuke, that’s not-”

But he doesn’t want to hear it. If Tadashi’s just going to reject him, he doesn’t want to listen to any more excuses. They won’t make him feel any better. Without another word, Ainosuke turns and runs - by now, he knows the forest well. It’s not hard to find his way home. And Tadashi doesn’t even try to follow.

Of course, he gets in trouble for disappearing before the party. Afterwards, they make sure to remind him firmly how very much they love him and how wrong it is to make them worry like that and risk embarrassing them in front of their guests. But the worst comes even later, after that, when they and his father all tell him where and when he’s going. He can’t bring himself to argue after already failing to persuade Tadashi - if his friend wouldn’t listen, then there’s no way these four will.

They pack his things for him, deciding for him what he should take and what will be left behind. His cloak stays - he’ll have no use for such a flashy, childish thing there. Only the books they want him to read will go with him. They tell him all the names to look out for, who will make good friends and who won’t.

In the few weeks before he leaves, he doesn’t go back to the forest even once. And when one night he hears a wolf’s howl echoing in the dark, he doesn’t look out the window, and just covers his ears until it stops.

Boarding school is as terrible as he feared.

The headmaster knows his father, and so his teachers know to keep an eye on him. Half the students recognize his family name, the other half aren’t meant to be associated with. Every minute is regimented, every word and manner constantly under scrutiny. There are no friends to be made here, not like Tadashi was, built on a simple enjoyment of being together. At best, there might be allies, but knowing who can be trusted and who will rat him out the second he tries to push at the rules is hard to wager, which is something he has to learn from failure.

There is still discipline and punishment, and though they are not quite as frequent as at home,  they set off the same reflex in him. That need to be still and accept, remind himself over and over it’s only out of a desire to see him be better. He knows from his aunts’ letters that they hear every time he requires it. He manages to disappoint them even from so far away, risks losing their love with no way to appease them afterwards, and he feels that weight with every slip up.

At least at home, the servants were sometimes nice to him, willing to cover for him in small ways. And he had his time with Tadashi to look forward to, no matter how hard things got, that gave him room to breathe. There were moments of kindness and freedom that he was able to carry with him the rest of the time.

In this place full of people he can’t trust, he learns a new kind of loneliness. A different sort of isolation. It’s enough to make him, if not forget his anger at Tadashi, at least willing to reconsider. He’ll go see him, Ainosuke decides, when he goes home for the winter break. And if Tadashi apologizes, he’ll forgive him. He’s sure the wolf will regret telling him to go, when he hears how awful it is here. They can talk about what to do next then. It’ll be okay.

He fixes that idea in his head, uses it to keep his determination alive. Even when his aunts write to tell him that his failures mean they want him to stay there until summer break instead, he keeps focused. Surely, if they’re apart so long, Tadashi will miss him terribly, and he’ll realize what a bad idea this was. He’ll definitely understand. This time, they can leave together, before they can send him back here.

When summer finally comes and he’s allowed to return home, he puts up with the alternating greetings and scoldings. He holds out his arms when they tell him to, keeps his smile fixed, apologizes for acting out and embarrassing them as many times as it takes before they forgive him. Anything to make this go faster, so he can sneak out and find Tadashi.

He can’t find his red cloak - they must have thrown it out while he was gone. The few flashy pieces of clothing he’d been allowed are all missing, replaced with larger items in more muted colors. It’s not really a surprise, so he does his best to let each loss settle with a quiet, miserable ache. It doesn’t matter that much. Tadashi would have seen or heard the carriage bringing him home, probably. He’ll be able to find him by scent.

But when Ainosuke heads past the treeline, calls for his best friend over and over, he gets no answer. There’s no soft response of his own name, no sign of those bright green eyes or black ears. For the first time in years, the woods start to feel threatening, the shadows treacherous. Maybe, he tells himself, swallowing hard, Tadashi just doesn’t know he’s here yet. Right, usually he stays much further in the woods. He just... just has to keep looking. Keep calling.

Nothing happens. No one appears. The forest is as empty as everywhere else.

He finally has to give up and turn back when he realizes it’s getting darker out. It’s summer, so that must mean it’s gotten awfully late. His arms ache, as if in warning, and his throat’s sore from all his yelling. But that’s secondary to the distress he feels over not being able to find Tadashi. Did... something happen while he was gone? Did he get hurt, or... 

Tears prick at him, the stress and worry weakening the defenses he’s tried to build up against them, and he immediately wipes them away. No. He’s not going to think about that. He’s not even going to consider that a possibility. Tadashi’s fine, he just hasn’t found him yet, that’s all. He’ll try again tomorrow, even if his aunts get mad. He won’t give up until he finds him.

When he returns, he sees his father’s carriage waiting outside the manor. Ah, right. He vaguely remembers his aunts saying something about Aiichirou having dinner with them, to welcome Ainosuke home. All the more reason for them to be upset with him... and sure enough, they fuss a great deal about where he’s been, one digging her nails deep into his still-aching arm as she drags him to the dining hall. Ainosuke lets it pass over him without really feeling it. There isn’t room in him to be worried about something this familiar, when he has a far greater concern still hanging over him.

Besides... he’d never say it out loud, but honestly he cares very little about whether or not his actions upset his father at this point. His aunts at least wrote to him while he was at school. His father didn’t send him even a single letter that whole time. The man only feels more and more like a stranger to him.

Still, Ainosuke’s prepared to go into the dining hall, apologize for his tardiness, and sit politely next to him and eat dinner together. He gets through the first two steps just fine, but when he goes to take his usual seat next to the head, he sees something sitting at his father’s side. His first thought is it’s a dog, judging by the gray muzzle and collar it wears, and the leash in his father’s hand. But the longer he looks, the more he has no choice but to recognize it for the wolf it is. Still a little small, all black fur, with green eyes he’d know anywhere.

“Aha, I thought so,” Aiichirou says, when Ainosuke freezes, eyes glued to the animal sitting next to him. “So it really was you who made this little beast so malleable, wasn’t it?”

“I-” Ainosuke swallows, manages to turn his face towards his father, “What are you talking about? How did you-”

“I found him some time ago. On my way up to the manor, I thought I spotted something wearing this from the woods.” He pulls the ruby pendant from his breast pocket, looking very amused. “Your aunts told me they gave this to you, yes? And he was easy to draw out with your cloak. He must have recognized it.”

“Really, Ainosuke, playing around with a wild animal is terribly dangerous, even one this young,” his eldest aunt says with a frustrated sigh, “And using jewelry of all things for a collar... what a ridiculous idea. A waste.”

Ainosuke can’t answer any of them. His eyes are fixed on the pendant, and he wonders - just what did his father see? Did he really only see Tadashi as a wolf, or...

There’s no answer to be found on either his father’s face, or Tadashi’s. The wolf hasn’t moved at all since he came in. Hasn’t lifted his head, or wagged his tail, or even whimpered. All he’s doing is sitting perfectly still, at his father’s side.

If Aiichirou’s waiting for Ainosuke to say something, he gives up and slips the pendant back into his pocket to continue himself. “I suppose that’s why you were spending so much time out there, yes? Trying to make yourself a pet... well, you did a decent job, I’ll grant you that. Taming a wolf is no small feat.”

The bit of praise offers Ainosuke an opening, and he latches onto it without even thinking. “Then... since you think I did well, will you give him back to me?”

“Ainosuke-!”, his second aunt starts to snap, but Aiichirou cuts her off with a wave of his hand. 

“Of course not,” he says, bluntly and with a thick layer of condescension, “You won’t be able to keep him at that school. And you certainly haven’t proven yourself capable of handling such a serious responsibility.” A thoughtful look creeps into his eye, the corner of his mouth lifting just slightly, as he adds, “But perhaps, if you do well and behave properly, you’ll have earned the right to a pet when your schooling is complete.”

That’s years away. Ainosuke feels the floor tilting under him, his head swimming. Years more of this. He only distantly hears his younger aunt say, in a worried tone, “Really, Aiichirou, I think you’re taking this too lightly. You ought to have that thing put down; it does have a lovely coat, there’s better uses for it than... this.”

Aiichirou’s eyes sharpen, and no one argues further when he says, “I will do with him as I see fit.” He reaches down and pets behind Tadashi’s ear, before tugging sharply at the tight strap of the muzzle. “And you worry too much. It’s just a matter of keeping a firm hand.” 

Somehow, Ainosuke manages to fight off a sudden urge to grab a fork and stab it right into the back of that hand.

And still, Tadashi doesn’t move or acknowledge him. He stays at his father’s side the whole night, and only moves when his father does. He goes with him in the carriage back to the townhouse, and Ainosuke does what he can to convince himself that he just needs to be patient. That when he graduates, he’ll be an adult. And once he has Tadashi back, there won’t be anything stopping them both from going far away.

It’ll work. It has to.

If he can’t make himself believe that, he truly has no idea what he’ll do.

As long as he can, Ainosuke tries to hold onto that feeling. That belief that, if he does as they all say and excels in everything they expect, he’ll earn his friend back. It’s the only thing that keeps him from just trying to run away at that school. It’s location is remote, and the closest town well-used to spotting and returning would-be escapees, but that hardly matters. There are days he feels so desperate, it would be worth the risk to even get away from that place for just a short while.

But he’d never get Tadashi back if he did that. And even if Tadashi was alright with letting him go, he can’t make himself do the same. He can’t just leave him there, like this.

The years pass slowly, though. There’s plenty of time for the worry to take root that maybe Tadashi won’t want him, even if he manages to do everything right and get him back.

It’s not that he thinks Tadashi likes his father. Even though he never growls or shies away from his father’s touch, or resists the pull of his leash, there’s no sign of happiness from the wolf either. No wagging tail, no perked ears or sparkling eyes. He tolerates everything, even when Aiichirou shows him off at parties and he gets poked and prodded at by strangers, but tolerance is all he offers.

No, what worries Ainosuke is that even if he’s right and Tadashi hates Aiichirou... he might hate Ainosuke just as much.

This wouldn’t be happening to Tadashi, he knows, if they hadn’t been friends. His father caught him because Tadashi was looking for him. Because Ainosuke gave him a gift that his father recognized, and he was tricked into capture with Ainosuke’s cloak. Does he blame him for this? Ainosuke can’t say he wouldn’t have, if their positions were reversed. And, after all, just as Tadashi shows no sign of happiness around his father, he doesn’t show any when Ainosuke is around either.

A dark, sinking feeling clutches at Ainosuke and drags him deeper and deeper as time passes and he scrambles for any kind of proof that the only reason he’s putting up with this is still waiting for him. He tries to be angry instead of afraid, and succeeds more often than not. After all, Tadashi has no right to blame him, he tells himself as he grasps for purchase, when none of this would’ve happened at all if he’d just listened to him and run when they had the chance.

His feelings fester, burn, demand an outlet. After a few years at that school, he learns better where to go for privacy, and who’s willing to go along with him. He has no idea if the closed-mouth classmates he approaches actually like him or just want in with his family, but he tells himself it doesn’t matter. He craves touch and closeness, needs to offer his love up to someone so it doesn’t scorch him from the inside out. He doesn’t seek out black hair or green eyes, but he finds himself thinking of them regardless, a fact which leaves him choked on frustration and something not quite guilt.

It doesn’t matter. These little dalliances don’t last either. Even those who claim they’ll accept his love, in all the forms that come naturally to him, eventually wind up scared by it. Before long, they start drawing back and keep their distance, unnerved by the intensity he always feels bubbling under his skin and the ways it manifests. But he can’t make himself hold back either - if they won’t accept it fully, there’s no point in giving it at all.

And then he misjudges one particular boy’s trustworthiness, and their encounter makes its way to his aunts’ ears. They don’t make him stay over the next break - they demand he return, so they can remind him thoroughly how he’s meant to behave. He must keep these sort of base urges under control, they tell him, carving the lesson deep into him. This kind of thing will not be acceptable once he’s an adult, and even now, it would be mortifying for word to get out. He’s lucky he has them to keep any unsavory rumors from spreading.

“Yes, aunties,” he says in return, his own voice sounding distant, the words barely making sense after a while. “Thank you for all you do for me.” His back hurts. It’s been a long time since he had a lesson this severe. He’ll have to sleep on his stomach for a while.

He wonders why love always has to hurt. Why it always has to scare people.

Ainosuke used to think Tadashi an exception, but... maybe his love scared the wolf as well. His aunt called his gift a ‘collar’, his father called what he did ‘taming’. And maybe they’re right. When he thinks back on it, he really can’t deny it. He took a wild animal, taught him to come when he called, tried to make him his every way he could. Even if Tadashi looked happy at the time, maybe he was really just putting up with it, like everyone else seems to until Ainosuke winds up crossing some unknown line. Because he was ‘nice’ and felt sorry for a boy with no other friends.

Would a wolf shy away from being bitten or scratched, he wonders? About being tied down, or made to cry? He doesn’t know. He didn’t know these were things he wanted, back when he still had a chance to ask. But when he asks himself these questions, he can’t help but fear the answer lies in how Tadashi is with his father. Quiet, obedient, and devoid of any love whatsoever.

Ainosuke told himself a long time ago that he could live without his family’s love, if he still had Tadashi’s. He doesn’t want to find out if the reserve holds true.

It’s a noxious blend of bitterness and dread and still, somehow, a hope that he might be wrong, that things can be fixed if he’s just patient and dutiful, that fogs over him. Some days he chokes on it. But he’s learned how to keep breathing steadily through worse.

When he finally reaches the end of his schooling, at the top of his year and beloved by everyone it’s beneficial to be admired by, he still can’t relax. The trip home is too long, and he has to wait even longer to see his father. He feels on the verge of mania the entire time, but thankfully his aunts only see it as excitement. How wonderful that he was able to pull himself together so well, put all that trouble behind him. He smiles, nods, and barely has to say a word as they go on and on about what will come next for him. 

Just a little longer, he keeps telling himself, a refrain that keeps his hands clasped and smile steady. Just a little bit longer.

He’s nearly buzzing when his father finally arrives, Tadashi at his heels as usual. Ainosuke can’t even find that upsetting right now. It just means Aiichirou will be able to pass the wolf over to him right away.

It starts well - or at least, as well as it can. His father is in a good mood, and his aunts leave them to talk alone for a while. Aiichirou even congratulates his accomplishments, says how nice it is to see the way he’s matured the last few years.

“I’m very glad you think so, Father,” Ainosuke says, sitting straight, smiling as pleasantly as he’s capable of, “Then, would you say I’ve done well enough to earn my reward?”

“Reward... ah, him?” Aiichirou glances at the wolf laying just beside his chair. Tadashi’s grown quite large by now. A proper, full-sized wolf, his sleek black fur beautiful against the light gray of his muzzle and collar. He’s quiet for a moment, before saying absently, “Your aunts have quite a few social events lined up for you, don’t they?”

The shift in subject is a warning, Ainosuke knows, even as he tries to ignore it. “I suppose, yes.”

“Do you think an animal like this would do well travelling that much? He’s apt to frighten most people.” Aiichirou chuckles, not even looking at him. “You certainly won’t make a good impression on any of the young ladies that way.”

Ainosuke doesn’t want to beg. Not to anyone, but especially not this man. Yet the words slip out, desperation tinging each one, “But you said... you told me I could have him back, if-”

“If you proved yourself capable of handling the responsibility, yes.” Now he turns to look at his son, and there’s no amusement in his eyes, or sympathy, or anything. Just a cool arrogance. “But if you think it’s a good idea to take him along on such an expedition, then clearly you just don’t have the right priorities yet. Perhaps after you’ve finished your travels, we can discuss it.”

When he reaches down and pets Tadashi again, twisting his long fingers through that thick fur, it’s suddenly very clear to Ainosuke what will happen. His father likes his pet too much to let him go. No matter what he does, Aiichirou will always find some other excuse to keep Tadashi for himself. Whether it's that having a wolf around will scare whatever fiancee he winds up stuck with, or that it’s dangerous to have near any children he’s expected to father, or even merely that he’s just not good enough, not strong enough, to keep an animal like that under control. 

There will always, always be some reason to keep them apart.

Ainosuke looks down at Tadashi, still silent. Not so much as a twitch at his father’s words.

Even now, even in the face of Tadashi’s apparent apathy, he can’t imagine leaving the wolf behind with them. But he can’t ever have him back either. The years worth of loneliness he’s tried to bear weighs down on him, magnified by the prospect of an equally empty future, as he scrambles for an answer. Any way out at all.

...Ah. Of course. There’s been one all along, hasn’t there?

Ainosuke does not yell or try to argue with his father. Doesn’t even feel a need to anymore. “Is that so?” he says, in the same polite, pleasant way he’s spoken to his aunts all evening, “Well then, I suppose I’ll have to try a bit harder, won’t I?” Aiichirou chuckles a bit, tells him that’s what he should do regardless. His aunts return, let them know dinner is ready. Not a single person notices that the thin, frayed thread holding Ainosuke together has snapped.

That night, when the moon is high and the manor dark and closed up tight, Ainosuke sneaks out once more. Not to go into the forest, but to walk the path down to his father’s townhouse. It’ll be locked, but his aunts have a key for emergencies. He knows where they keep it, it’s not hidden. The only thing that exists to prevent him from taking it off its hook in their parlor is the knowledge of how angry they’d be with him if they found out. But that’s not going to be a concern for him anymore.

It doesn’t matter how dark it is. He knows this road like the back of his hand. When he reaches his father’s home, he looks carefully for any sign Aiichirou is still up. But the building is as dark and silent as everything else tonight. Letting out a slight breath, Ainosuke uses the key on the back door, leaving it unlatched behind him as he goes inside.

He knows where Tadashi is. His father showed him once. It’s so very important to keep dangerous animals contained when you aren’t able to watch them, after all. A small room on the main floor, just beside the kitchen, formerly used for extra storage. Not locked - no point, when the wolf inside is more a threat than prize for most people.

It’s dark inside, enough that Tadashi nearly blends into it completely with his black fur. But when Ainosuke looks carefully, he can see him. The wolf is lying in the middle of the floor, muzzle still in place, collar attached to a short chain that would prevent him from getting anywhere near the door on his own. Ainosuke wonders if he’s ever tried, or if his father was taking these careful measures from the start. Well, he supposes the answer doesn’t matter.

“Tadashi,” he says quietly, and the wolf’s ear flicks. Ainosuke doesn’t bother closing this door behind him either. It’s better if it's open after this - it’ll make things easier for Tadashi. “Wake up.”

At the louder tone, the wolf does just that. He opens his eyes, lifts his head, but doesn’t move. Ainosuke can’t tell what he’s feeling, seeing him like this. Tadashi’s listening to him, though. Can still understand him. That’s enough for what he wants.

“Are you mad at me, Tadashi? It took so long to do, but it was so easy to get in.” Ainosuke lets out a soft laugh, steps towards the wolf without any sense of hesitation or unease. “Really, I should’ve done this years ago. The first night I knew you were here.”

Still, Tadashi says nothing. Does nothing. Just looks up at him with those vacant green eyes, ears pricked just slightly towards him, even when Ainosuke sinks to his knees in front of him.

“I know you probably hate me,” Ainosuke says, reaching around to unbuckle the collar. “But I hope you still love me at least enough for this.” The collar and chain slide to the floor with a clink. From here, he can feel the slightly chafed skin on Tadashi’s neck from where it was digging in. He strokes over the wolf’s fur, smooths it down over the irritated area. It’s what he’d want someone to do for him. Right into Tadashi’s ear, so the wolf can’t possibly mishear, he says, “Just go right for my throat, okay? You can at least do that for me before you run, can’t you?”

Then he unbuckles the muzzle, slips it off Tadashi’s snout. He expects teeth, snarling, one moment of bright and loving pain and his arms around the only source of comfort he’s ever known, before the end.

Tadashi gives him no such gift, or anything at all. He’s stiff under Ainosuke’s hands, quiet. Maybe even confused.

“What?” Ainosuke asks, trying to sound angry instead of pathetic, “Didn’t you hear me? Or do you only listen to my father now after all?” He grabs Tadashi’s mouth, tries to pry it open himself. “Come on already. If you were ever my friend, you’d do this.” The words crack in his throat, and he hates himself for that. But he can’t stand the thought of dying alone too, after everything. It’s too miserable to fathom.

Finally, Tadashi moves, but it’s to whine, rear back and away from his grip. He scrambles to his feet and pushes himself against the back wall of the room. The wolf’s green eyes glitter with defiance in the dark, teeth bared and clenched tight.

Only one reason makes any sense to him. “...You really hate me that much? If you won’t listen to me this time either. You must.” Ainosuke laughs again, a desperate and empty sound that seems too loud in the silent house, because it’s at least better than crying. He can’t even have this, then. There’s no escape at all, and nothing to hold onto. He sees Tadashi’s attention turned behind him, hears some vague noise approaching. But even knowing who it must be, he just can’t bring himself to care.

“ Ainosuke ?” His father’s voice, of course, full of indignation, “Just what on earth do you think you’re doing here-”

Tadashi doesn’t make a sound. He doesn’t growl or snarl, or even whimper at the sight of the man who’s kept him captive all these years. He moves silently, only the slight click of his claws against the floor and the whisper of his fur as he runs past Ainosuke to prove he’s moving, before he lunges and sinks his fangs into Aiichirou’s throat.

His father makes more noise, but not much. A strangled sound of alarm and pain, the thump of his body on the ground, a brief bout of choking and the thick ripping of flesh. But Tadashi makes quick work of him. It’s over before Ainosuke even has time to truly understand what he’s watched.

Then, Tadashi turns, and in the dark Ainosuke hears the dripping of blood from his muzzle rather than really see it. Maybe this was a parting gift, Ainosuke finds himself thinking, before it’s his own turn. This knowledge that his father at least won’t get away with what he’s done. His heart’s beating fast, and he waits for Tadashi to come his way next.

He does, but only a few steps before he staggers and sinks down to the floor with only a small whimper as his body jerks and forces itself into a different shape. There is no quick, effortless change the way Ainosuke remembers. What’s happening right now is slow. Difficult. Like Tadashi can’t remember how.

How long has it been since he’s last taken human form? It takes practice, Tadashi once told him. If he hasn’t this entire time Aiichirou’s kept him, maybe... maybe he doesn’t. Ainosuke’s own head is still blank, struggling to keep up with what’s happening, as he watches Tadashi struggle to make arms and hands, pull back layers of fur, to make a throat and mouth that can speak. 

“Ai...” Tadashi tries to say, the raspy, guttural words just barely sounding like more than a bark, “Aino... suke...”

That breaks Ainosuke out of his own paralysis. He can’t bring himself to stand, but he crawls over to close the distance between them. Puts a hand to Tadashi’s head - still too long and covered in that thick, wiry fur - and says firmly, “Be quiet.” He doesn’t want Tadashi trying to do two things at once. “It’s okay. Just concentrate - there’s no rush.”

Tadashi whimpers, trying to clutch at him with half-formed hands. Ainosuke lets him, draws him closer to get his head into his lap. It’s easier to see the blood on his face and mouth as the black fur pulls back, the mess isn’t something Ainosuke cares about. What he does care about is: why only Aiichirou? 

It’s not fair, he wants to say, the words pressing the back of his throat like the start of a sob. It’s not fair of Tadashi to make him hope like this again, after he’d finally managed to give up. This isn’t what he asked for at all. But Tadashi nuzzles against his leg and holds onto his shirt, and what else can Ainosuke do? He strokes Tadashi’s hair, and the fur down his back. Draws what comfort he can from the warmth and still-familiar texture. And waits until his first and only friend is able to talk.

Bit by bit, the wolf recedes and a man takes his place. Not fully, not even close to how well he could change as a child. There are still claws and ears and tail, more fur than would be considered normal for a human, and the legs have barely changed at all. But the face looks familiar to him now, even grown. Slowly, Tadashi starts to relax, his form stable even if not complete. When he lifts his head enough to look up at him, he’s able to say in a clearer voice, “Ainosuke...”

“Yes?”

“I’m... sorry. Your father...” His words are understandable, but the pacing of them odd. Like he has to remember each one individually before he speaks. “I shouldn’t have... in front of you.”

“Don’t apologize,” he says, almost surprised himself at how steady his own voice is, “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

Tadashi’s face is still blank, but he clings to Ainosuke too tightly for him to take that as apathy. If he’s struggling to talk and keep this form at all, it’s perhaps only to be expected that expressions won’t come easily either. “I didn’t... scare you?”

Ainosuke doesn’t answer right away, his own feelings still strange to himself. He takes a moment to look back at the body just behind them. Really look at it - at the blood, the torn-open throat, the wide eyes still staring up out of his father’s face. He makes himself see and understand what Tadashi did, this wolf who has always been quiet and gentle around him.

And, Ainosuke finds, no matter how hard he tries to unearth some morsel of fear in himself... there’s nothing of the sort.

“No.” He turns back to Tadashi, not sure what he’s supposed to be feeling right now, but at least certain of these words. “Just startled. I’ve never seen you act like that before.”

“... I didn’t know when... I’d get another chance. I had to... be quick.” Tadashi lets out a haggard sigh, and presses his face into Ainosuke’s lap for a few moments before saying more quietly, “...Ainosuke.”

“Hm?”

“You should go... before someone comes.”

Ainosuke snorts. “You’re really saying that when you’re in the middle of acting like a lapdog?” Immediately, Tadashi starts to pull away - which makes Ainosuke tighten his hold just as quickly, his own desperation making itself known to both of them in the way his nails dig into the skin of Tadashi’s back and the chill in his voice when he says, “Don’t tell me you’re really planning to leave me alone again.”

Tadashi doesn’t struggle against him at all, even though his grip must hurt. He just looks up at him with something like confusion. ”I... don’t want you to... get in trouble. If...” He glances away, maybe in the direction of the door. “If you run now, like you wanted... maybe I could stay and-”

“ That’s your big plan?” Ainosuke interrupts, because anything after that is just not something he’s willing to consider, “After all this time, you’re just going to make me go by myself.” He loosens his hold, takes a small bit of comfort in the distress it seems to stir in Tadashi’s eyes. “Don’t be stupid. If I wanted that, I would’ve gone a long time ago. I didn’t need your help for that.”

Tadashi goes very still in his arms, and Ainosuke wishes he could read the look on his face. Whatever he’s thinking, though, the wolf winds up lowering his eyes and still insists, “Your aunts... will look for you, won’t they? If I stay, I could... stop them.” He’s holding onto Ainosuke’s arm tightly, and says in a strained kind of way, “They hurt you. You’re so unhappy. And... I couldn’t do anything... this whole time. But I could do this. For you.”

Ainosuke understands very well what Tadashi’s offering - his father’s corpse is indication enough - and understands just as well that the wolf’s right. There’s no way his aunts would just let Ainosuke slip away without doing everything they can to find him, especially with his father dead and the next in line for the family headship after himself being a cousin they have little influence over. 

But there’s something Tadashi is wrong about.

“...What makes you think that’s enough?” The wolf looks up at him, obviously not understanding. “Like you said - you couldn’t do anything all these years. You think one little favor evens it out?”

There's no doubt in Ainosuke's mind what will happen to Tadashi if he tries to do this on his own - even if he succeeds, the odds that he'd get out of the busy manor unscathed after killing four people are vanishingly small. Something Tadashi must be aware of himself, given he doesn't seem to be thinking about any 'after' to his plan either. The wolf's ears droop a little. He seems very small all of a sudden. “Then... then what-”

“I told you before, didn’t I?” He brushes some hair out of Tadashi’s face, letting one finger stroke the mole under his eye as he does so. “Come with me, Tadashi. Let’s go together, and make it up to me with the rest of your life.”

Tadashi’s eyes widen, the hand holding onto Ainosuke trembling slightly. “You still... want that...” he mutters, like he can’t quite believe it. Ainosuke doesn’t repeat himself, just watches Tadashi and lets him make up his mind. “But... your aunts-”

“I know. I really do.” A part of him knows this shouldn’t be so easy to say. That he should feel something worse, for even suggesting this. But the answer comes easily, obviously, when paired against the alternatives of staying or leaving alone. “But if we’re doing this, we’re doing it together. All of it.” He feels his face twisting into something cold and strange. Taunting, even, when he asks Tadashi, “Does that scare you ?”

At the question, something sharpens in the wolf’s gaze. As if, for the first time tonight, he’s really seeing the person his friend has grown up into. And then Tadashi slowly shakes his head, before nuzzling closer against him and saying, “Alright. Together.”

His own expression softens with relief, and he toys with some of the shaggiers ends of Tadashi’s hair as a plan starts to come together in his head. “Good. Then here’s what we’ll do...”

The townhouse is less remote than the manor, but there are no live-in servants. Only Aiichirou’s secretary, a cook, and a couple of maids who stop by to tidy once a week. That’s a far easier number to manage, and so Ainosuke settles on building his stage here.

When the secretary arrives first thing in the morning, Ainosuke is ready to greet him at the door. “I’m afraid my father’s indisposed for the day,” he says, a slightly embarrassed lilt to his words, “We celebrated my return quite heartily last night... perhaps too much. It seems his age is getting to him after all.”

The secretary doesn’t look surprised, merely sighs and rubs his temple lightly. “Shall I help tend to him, then?”

“Thank you for your concern, but there’s no need. It’s a son’s duty to look after his father.” He beams confidently, then holds out an envelope, “Instead, could you deliver this to my aunts? It’s quite urgent.”

The man nods, and asks Ainosuke to contact him if Aiichirou rouses enough to have any more work for him. It’s a promise Ainosuke makes easily, before waving him off. The cook - a different one than he remembers from his childhood - is even easier to dismiss, when she arrives shortly after. She’s plainly relieved, eager to accept the excuse Ainosuke gives her.

“Will you be feeding that, er... pet of his for him, then?“ Ainosuke blinks, but nods without too much hesitation. “Just... please, be very careful. It might look tame, but you never know with animals like that...”

“Of course. Thank you for all your hard work,” Ainosuke says, smiling, watching as she goes before closing the door and heading back. The maids aren’t scheduled for today. There are no meetings planned, only letters and paperwork that will now go perpetually untouched. Assuming his aunts go along with the invitation he sent them, they’ll arrive tonight, and believe Ainosuke to be working with Aiichirou today.

They have the rest of the day to set the scene. Gruesome as the work may be, there’s only a few pieces to get in place, so Ainosuke uses the time to keep Tadashi talking as much as possible throughout. Help him get used to it again. He asks about what it’s been like here under Aiichirou’s heel, how he’s been treated. At first, Tadashi admits, he tried to struggle more and run away. But there’d be something in his food that left him drowsy and confused, and Aiichirou wouldn’t go anywhere near him when he wasn’t muzzled. He’d leave that up to staff, who Tadashi couldn’t bring himself to hurt just for obeying. Eventually, he wound up thinking the same thing Ainosuke did - that it was better to just wait and endure until he was turned over to him.

“Did he know you could do this?” Ainosuke has to ask, after they manage to move most of his father’s body, gesturing at Tadashi’s latest attempt at shifting. He’s gotten better at the legs, at least, but it’s still a far cry from the near-perfect replication he’d gotten to years ago.

Tadashi looks down at himself, eyes narrowing in thought. “I... I don’t know. I turned back quickly when I realized it wasn’t you out there, but...” His voice is soft, but the fur on the back of his neck is raised. Ainosuke resists an impulse to brush it down. “Sometimes, he’d look at me, and it felt like... he was waiting for something. Expecting something.” He eyes Aiichirou’s remains for a moment, before forcing his fur to smooth back out with a shake. “So I hid it as best I could. Any sign I could think and understand him. To be safe.”

“You did a good job. Even I couldn’t tell sometimes.” Ainosuke tries to say it casually, even as a compliment, but there’s a waver in his voice that he can’t cover up entirely.

“...Did I make you worry?” Ainosuke doesn’t answer, but perhaps his face gives it away. Tadashi drops his eyes, before saying, “It was difficult. Staying like that for so long. If... I wasn’t waiting for you, I... don’t think I could’ve held onto myself.” He looks up at Ainosuke with big green eyes, takes his hand like he used to as a child. “Thank you... for trying to get me back, all this time.”

Ainosuke squeezes his hand tightly, then presses his forehead to Tadashi’s. “I really won’t let you go after this,” he says, half warning, half his own need for assurance, “Are you prepared for that?” Tadashi nods without any hesitation. Ainosuke lets out a quick breath, then pulls away so they can get back to work.

As it gets dark, the hour draws near. Tadashi still shows no hesitation about the plan, only requests that Ainosuke not watch. 

With some indignation, Ainosuke asks, “Why not? I already have once.”

Tadashi winces, like even that was distasteful in retrospect. “I know, but this... probably won’t be so quick. It could get a bit messy, and I don’t want to make a mistake and hurt you.”

...Wolves are such strange creatures, Ainosuke can’t help but think as he somewhat reluctantly agrees. Their love is nearly the opposite he was raised on - all violence directed elsewhere, saving kindness for the recipient. Or maybe it’s just Tadashi who’s like this.

Finally, Ainosuke spots the carriage approaching from a window on the second floor. He hurries downstairs, and makes sure to greet them just inside the door with a restrained kind of panic on his face. “Aunties, it’s terrible,” he says, before any of them can get a word out, “Something’s very wrong with Father.”

His alarm catches them off-guard, the eldest asking, “What on earth are you talking about? The note didn’t sound that urgent.”

“I...” He looks anxiously behind them, towards the carriage, “I’m not sure it’s the sort of thing an outsider should know about.”

The three exchange a look, and then the youngest walks back to where the driver’s waiting to ask him to return to the manor. Ainosuke can’t see him from here, can’t hear what she says, but soon enough the carriage leaves back up the dirt road.

“Thank you for your wise decision, Auntie.” Ainosuke beams, then bustles them in. “Father wasn’t looking well all day while we were working, but then he collapsed and... I was going to call a doctor, but he started saying strange things. Very strange.” He lets that hang in the air, sees the unease start to show itself on their faces, before adding, “I didn’t think it was a good idea to bring someone else in without your advice.”

“You did the right thing, Ainosuke,” the eldest says, tone firm despite her obvious anxiety, “Where is he?”

“Just upstairs, in his bedroom.”

The lights aren’t on up there, but they don’t stop to question it. They climb the stairs in something of a rush. Ainosuke wonders what kind of things they’re worried he might be saying. They always did like to leave him out of the loop.

“Aiichirou? Are you alright?”

The moment the three of them cross the threshold of the bedroom door, Ainouske slams the door closed behind them. Holds it there himself, even as when he feels them pounding at it from the other side, even when they yell his name and demand he explain himself. For the first few seconds, he almost listens. Not because he wants to, but because it’s been ingrained in him so firmly to do as they say. It leaves him nauseous, trying to ignore them, even knowing why he’s doing this.

“Thank you for giving me so much of your love, aunties,” he says, not knowing or caring if they can hear him. It grounds him to say it outloud. Remind himself of what he has to do. “I don’t want to seem ungrateful, so before I go, I’ll make sure to give it back. All of it.”

When the words stop and the screams start, it’s easier. There’s no growling or snarling. Tadashi remains as silent and efficient as the first time. They’re the only ones making noise on the other side, and it won't be for long.

It feels like it takes forever, and no time at all, before silence finally descends on the house again. After a few seconds of it, Ainosuke hesitantly opens the door. Ah. One isn’t quite dead yet. She crawls a bit out of the room, into the hall, trying to grab for him. Ainosuke feels a brief surge of alarm, but doesn’t touch her. It’ll look more convincing like this, and she doesn’t look like she has long.

Still, three people is certainly no mean feat. The room is a mess, the bodies horribly mangled. But still recognizable. Ainosuke takes a moment to look down at his other two aunts, the pain and terror on their faces. For a few moments he's hit with a nauseous twist of guilt, the understanding he’s done something wrong, a childish panic that he’ll get in trouble, be punished worse than ever...

Except, he realizes with an a heady rush, he won’t. Not if they do the rest of this right. Ainosuke lets out a long breath, and tries to make himself believe that everyone who would have stopped him really is gone.

He feels a cold nose touch his hand. Tadashi, still as a wolf, looking up at him with what seems like anxious green eyes. A small smile makes its way to Ainosuke’s face, and he strokes his hand against the side of Tadashi’s snout, feels the blood there staining his fur. With the other, Ainosuke gestures upwards, beckoning. Tadashi looks up at him for a moment, then seems to understand and shifts back into his half-finished form. He hasn’t even fully stabilized before Ainosuke takes his face in both hands and kisses him. Deep enough to feel the shape of his sharp teeth, taste the blood on and in his mouth with a thrill instead of remorse, and only lets go to wrap his arms around Tadashi’s neck instead.

Tadashi would scare most people, he supposes. But of course, so would he. Ainosuke knows that from experience. And even now, there’s no shock or revulsion from the wolf at this little display of callousness. When he pulls back, there’s only adoration in Tadashi’s eyes, and he rubs his nose affectionately against Ainosuke’s, smearing the blood further, while his tail wags fervently.

In a minute, they’ll finish what they started. But for a little while, Ainosuke just wants to soak in the relief of knowing he didn’t put his trust and love in the wrong person after all.

The story left behind is conclusive enough. While tending to his ill father, the young heir of the Shindo family - freshly back from his time at school, either unaware of or unused to the precautions required for his father’s pet - accidentally let the wolf loose while trying to feed it and was almost completely eaten. The blood, bits of flesh and bone and blue hair, and badly ravaged clothes found where the animal was kept prove him the first victim. His father, still in bed, was the next. The aunts arrived that night to check in on them, not knowing what was loose inside. And after laying waste to the family of five, the wolf managed to escape and flee.

If anyone notices a few discrepancies, like some money and food missing or the few outfits gone from Aiichirou’s wardrobes, the animalistic brutality of the deaths overwhelms the questions they might raise. None of the bodies are complete, all at least partially devoured, so there’s certainly no doubt about the culprit.

There are some attempts to hunt the wolf down, all of which amount to nothing and are eventually called off altogether. The forest itself is a very dangerous place, after all, and people disappear in there all the time. If the animal happens to come near the city again or goes on to attack more people, that’s one thing. But if it’s already gone too far to be tracked, then there’s a limit to how much can really be done.

And, well... what happened to the Shindo family is a terrible tragedy, of course. No one would disagree with that. But, some might add with a sidelong look in the direction of Governor Shindo’s now-empty home, there are certain risks that come with trying to keep a wild animal locked up.

“Well, what do you think?”

In a port city, a young man grins as he brandishes his bright red cloak proudly, holding it out for his companion to admire. Between it and his vivid blue hair, he’s a walking burst of color, enough so to be eye-catching even to strangers on the busy streets.

His companion, a slightly shorter man with black hair, simply tilts his head. “Isn’t that the same color as your old one?”

The young man rolls his eyes with a slight huff. “Yes, but that’s not what I meant. I’m asking if it looks good, Tadashi.”

“Oh - of course, I thought that went without saying. Red suits you exceptionally well, Ai-” The young man puts a finger to his companion’s lips, quieting him and raising an expectant eyebrow. The smaller man corrects himself with, “Adam.”

With a smile, the young man ruffles his companion’s hair. “Hm, a pretty good recovery there. I’ll accept it! Then we should get you something too, before we go.”

As his friend takes off to look for another shop, the smaller man follows after. “That’s not really necessary... we still need money for the boat fare, and lodgings when we arrive-”

His concerns are dismissed with a wave of the other man’s hand. “We have plenty. We didn’t spend anything while we were with your father, after all.” He glances back, a mischievous look on his face. “Or do you not want a gift from me? That hurts, you know.”

Despite his own hesitant look, the smaller man sighs and says, “If you’re going to put it like that, then... something stronger for this would be nice.” He touches the delicate ruby pendant at his neck, the only bit of color on him, hung by a very thin necklace. “I don’t care whether it’s a chain or strap. Just that it’s sturdy.”

The young man’s steps slow, a more serious look crossing his face as he turns back to eye his companion carefully. “Are you sure? It won’t... remind you of anything you don’t like, will it?”

The smaller man shakes his head, a small smile on his face. “No. I’d like to be able to feel it more clearly. I want to always know it’s there.” He closes the distance between them, takes the young man’s hand in his. “And I definitely don’t want to lose it again.”

 “...Alright,” the young man says, a bit softer than his previous teasing, but very clearly pleased, “Just leave it to me, then. I’m certain we can find something like that here.”

They walk down the city streets like dozens, if not hundreds, of others going about their lives. No one thinks twice about them, any attention the flashy young man draws fleeting among the bustle of the crowds. By the end of the day, they’ll have disappeared from this place too, without causing the slightest stir. Whether before them or behind them, the two have nothing to fear at all.