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He really, truly, desperately needed to stop taking Albedo up on offers to test his latest potions on the simple exchange of a bottle of wine. Perhaps it was his startling lack of self preservation, taken advantage of by their opportunistic Chief Alchemist, or maybe it was just his very genuine intrigue in seeing what those mixtures really could do—but he had never expected something like this.
By the time Kaeya was done coughing and sputtering on the foul tasting but sweet-smelling liquid that had he had struggled to swallow down in the first place, he opened his eye to wipe a few tears from it—only to find his fingers shorter than he remembered, and his face rounder.
“Albedo,” he started, and he couldn’t help but feel rather shocked that his voice sounded… softer. Like he hadn’t even gone near puberty yet, much less hit it. That, at least, made him a little more frantic. “Albedo, what was in that one?!”
He reached down, frantic to find the mirror he knew was somewhere in his office desk, but not only did he find his arms too short to reach the bottom drawer of his desk any longer, but it was now difficult for him to even move around. His uniform hung from him like curtains rather than clothing, and when he looked up, he could see the surprised curiosity written across the alchemist’s expression.
“Well, that explains why it didn’t have any sort of effect on me… I never had a child form to revert back to,” Albedo hummed to himself, and Kaeya squinted at him as the dots slowly started to connect.
“-‘child form’… What did you do to me?”
Albedo reached out, clearing his throat lightly as he dipped hands that Kaeya didn’t remember being that large under his arms, lifting him not unlike how he did with—
Klee.
He was Klee’s size.
If Kaeya had been putting up a struggle before, he was absolutely vehement now, kicking and squirming—it just happened to be his great misfortune that he was fighting against one of the most durable of his fellow Knights. “I will need to report this to the Acting Grand Master,” Albedo announced with some disappointment, already not particularly looking forward to the lecture on safe alchemical testing that would follow.
The thought was even more mortifying. “No, you can not let Jean see me like this!”
“We both know there’s no reason for us to hide this—and that it’ll be worse if we do,” Albedo murmured, his brows knitting together. Fortunately, the shirt and jacket of Kaeya’s uniform more than made up for the fact that somewhere, his normally perfectly-Kaeya-shaped pants had fallen on the wayside, leaving him looking like he was wearing and over-sized sleep shirt that could have passed as a child’s tent hanging from him.
As much as he wanted to be far more petulant about it and fight the entire way there, Albedo had a point. It would do no good to add unnecessary stress and frustration to Jean’s schedule by trying to hide such a thing from her. Begrudging, he seized a handful of Albedo’s hair, still, tugging it to prove his point of just how bothersome he could be at his current size. “Let me walk, or I swear I’ll figure out how to use my sword at this size and take off your kneecaps, Captain Albedo,” he warned softly—immediately startling the first person they passed, undoubtedly someone who was coming to the Knights to request a bit of assistance with some trivial matter or another.
Good. Let them be startled. He was allowed to be a little unprofessional—he was three feet tall, and furious.
“Temper, Captain Kaeya,” Albedo reminded much too calmly, and Kaeya was starting to find himself vexed with the other’s relaxed state over this whole matter, too. “If you keep going on like that, someone might try to put you down for a nap. May I reminder you that you did agree to help me test this—though I may have to hold on to my end of the bargain until you’re old enough to drink again.”
No. His height was one thing, but no, not his wine—
“Oh, I’ll kill you,” Kaeya whispered, though at least that threat or the last one had Albedo putting him down so he could walk on his own. When he reached out for Kaeya’s hand, like he might do for Klee, Kaeya’s lip curled with what looked like full preparation to bite said hand, though before either of them could move further in the moment the door to Jean’s office opened. Apparently their ‘squabbling’ had at least drawn some attention, despite the muted tones, though Jean’s eyes widened immediately at the sight of Kaeya being much closer to the ground.
“Kaeya?”
“It’s Albedo’s fault. It was one of his potions,” he answered quickly, with such suddenness that even Albedo seemed taken aback, the alchemist’s lips parting in a nearly comically betrayed gesture. If Kaeya was going to be stuck the size of a child, Kaeya was going to do what he had been best at as a child—lying and looking completely innocent about it the entire time. He barely had time to look back up to Jean to see a stare turn his way that he couldn’t place because he’d never truly had a mother to be disappointed in him, but it certainly did make him feel a certain way.
It wasn’t a proud feeling.
The alchemist cleared his throat and stepped back, clearly handing over charge of their pint-sized problem to her guidance, “I can see that nothing I say here is going to make much of a difference in the situation; before I start looking for a way to reverse this, I’ll go ahead and fetch a few articles of Klee’s clothing to make up for the… lapse in Captain Kaeya’s wardrobe here.”
Leave it to Albedo to politely see himself out of the situation before facing any real repercussions, thanks to Jean’s distraction. Kaeya had half the mind to draw attention to the fact that the other was trying to make a quick escape, but the sound of at least having some kind of pants to wear, and maybe a pair of boots as well, was far too tempting to throw his fellow knight under the horse wagon again.
Still, Jean was already kneeling in front of him, a mixed look of confusion—perhaps tinged with pity—written across her face. “Kaeya, how are you… er, feeling?”
He knew that voice. That was the voice that she reserved for trying to comfort Klee in softer tones, or speaking with distressed children out in the city proper. Still, she meant well, and that was probably the only thing that kept him from snapping off and demanding that she not use that tone on him—that, and the fact that it was Jean, after all. It was probably already hard enough on her to see him stand straight and scoff: “Like I’ve been ripped off out of a bottle of sunsettia wine and like I’m going to have to get one of the step stools from the library to be able to finish my paperwork for the day in my office.” He hadn’t even been able to see over the edge of the mahogany surface, much less reach his inkwell.
“Really,” she started, struggling to shake off the shock of hearing someone who barely looked older than a toddler complaining about their very noticeable lack of alcohol, “I think everyone will understand if you take a day off. Given the circumstances, and the fact that we don’t know how long it might take to get you back to normal, I don’t really want to put you on the spot-“
“I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” Kaeya said, looking entirely series except for the fact that he’d had to stomp his little foot forward to be able to get in a word edgewise, “but I’m not particularly comfortable with the thought of letting my paperwork build up until we find a potential reversal for this.”
Normally, he may have been completely happy to have an excuse to blow off a few days of work—but normally, he didn’t have half a field report on Treasure Hunters that he’d been avoiding bringing in because of how useful they would prove later. Albedo’s mishap truly had come at the worst possible time for him. Still, Jean looked hesitant to consider allowing him to continue working. If it was just paperwork, the nit would have been no problem—but the Cavalry Captain was responsible for organizing the mounted patrols of the popular roads for the next few foreseeable weeks, and the thought of sending Kaeya into combat like this…
He could see it in her eyes that she wasn’t going to budge before he could even properly argue his case. Kaeya had a feeling that she would have been firm even if he didn’t look like an adorable, miniature version of himself. “I’m putting you on administrative leave until you’re back to normal, Captain.”
“—administrative leave? That’s-“ He didn’t have time to properly make his case before Albedo’s return with, to Kaeya’s horror, Klee in tow. As much as he adored the girl—endlessly, really—he knew what was going to happen the minute she laid eyes on him. The poor girl so rarely had playmates her own age, after all, and though she would surely understand that Kaeya was no different after speaking with him, everyone saw the delight work across her face when she saw him.
“Big brother Kaeya is now little brother Kaeya!” If he didn’t play with her, she would be crushed. The look Kaeya sent Albedo’s way, ignoring the spare set of clothing hanging from the alchemist’s arm, suggested that he owed him a keg rather than a bottle.
It put any negotiations he might have had for his working status on hold, because he was wrapped up in a hug before he could even brace himself for it properly.
At least he’d finally get a pair of pants.
—
With great effort (largely in part because of how difficult things were to manage with very tiny hands), Kaeya managed to fashion himself something of a reasonable attire from the resources given to him. Though Klee’s shorts fit just right, he refused to be seen in anything resembling their local Spark Knight—and somehow, he still managed to come off as looking like a Knight despite his size. Though his undershirt and wide sleeves had no chance of fitting, he’d resorted to just taking his jacket and wrapping it tightly around himself, securing it closed with his belt. Sure, it had taken two wraps of his belt around his waist to make it stay, and his Vision weighted a little heavier on his hip than he was used to, but effectively, it worked. His head felt oddly small against the fluff of his collar, and his half-cape now hung fully down his back.
Perhaps the one thing really going his way was the fact that Klee’s long boots fit him pretty well, and after nearly an hour of Jean trying to hint that none of the Knights wanted him out and about on the city, especially when there were any number of people who would happily take advantage of the fact that he was less than half his normal height to cut him down for how many people he’d hauled in and arrested over the last few years, he snuck out when no one was looking. If Albedo could do it, he could too.
He only wanted to see one person to help ease his mind, even if he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted the person in question to see him.
Kaeya hated how he had to stretch to almost his tip-toes to fully get a grasp on the door of the Angel’s Share, and he hated that the red haired bartender didn’t even seem to notice his entrance until he had crossed the room, grabbed onto the stool, and climbed his way up, almost breathless from the fact that the walk had taken him three times as many steps as it normally did. He hadn’t been out of shape as a child, but the walk had never felt quite that long.
“Don’t freak out,” he starts, finally earning Diluc’s attention, who… promptly dropped the bottle of cider he’d been setting in the ice box to chill. It sounded like it bounced on the floor without breaking, at least, rolling under the bar while Diluc, to his credit, did a very good job of making an effort to not ‘freak out.’
Most people might be a little more freaked out to see that their Cavalry Captain boyfriend could now probably ride a wild boar instead of a horse.
At least he could trust Diluc to not want to baby him like Jean had, or nearly burst into laughter like Lisa had—though at least she’d had the respect for his dignity enough to quickly see her way out, turning on her heel to avoid the confrontation. He anticipated the small flash of anger that rose to his features as he resisted circling the bar. Crowding Kaeya wouldn’t help in the moment. “Is this some kind of curse, or-“
“A mistake,” Kaeya clarified, without implicating the responsible parties—himself included. He didn’t need Diluc hounding down the Knights Headquarters for a dangerous agreement he had with Albedo that Diluc didn’t know about. “But it’s being worked on. I just need… a few things.”
It was clear his intentionally vague wording left Diluc short of answers and with more questions he might have started with, but it was hard to refuse Kaeya normally, much less when he looked like he could fully throw a tantrum if he didn’t get what he wanted—then again, this Kaeya was younger than he’d been even when he’d first come to the Winery, and he had been… a quiet child even then, to say the least. He wasn’t sure if he had even been capable of throwing tantrums, much less inclined to. So instead, he poured him a drink, passing the cup over since it was clear that getting to the Angel’s Share had been some great endeavor.
“I’m… not sure what I can do to help with this, but you know if it’s in my power, I’ll do so.” Diluc’s tone was soft, but genuine, and made Kaeya remember that despite so many bad things happening between them, he really could rely on Diluc again when he truly needed him.
“I’m going to need more to wear than just a uniform jacket folded over and awkwardly held shut. I figured there might be something old that you used to wear in storage. I know despite your best efforts to have her do so, Adelinde does not throw a single thing away—wait, is this grape juice?” Despite the fact he had taken quick several gulps in succession after speaking, Kaeya couldn’t help the mortified expression that crossed his tiny features.
“…I’m not serving you wine when you’re the size of a five year old, Kaeya.”
“Don’t you dare. Not you too. I’m a grown man, Diluc, do not treat me like a child. Please take me seriously.” For a grown man, his chubby little cheeks certainly puffed out when his lower lip poked out as well, the picture of sulking. He looked as if he were just about ready to actually start crying. “I would expect better from the love of my life.”
It just so happened that, unfortunately for Diluc, a guest from Fontaine happened to be approaching the bar for a refill on one of his drinks. At hearing Kaeya very sound declaration of ‘the love of his life,’ he gave one glance to Kaeya, then to Diluc, and his expression filled with such mixed disgust that Diluc was absolutely sure that was going to be a business deal that never went through.
That… was fine. Kaeya’s feelings were more important in the moment, given how upset he clearly was, but at least the silent departure of the Fontaine merchant meant that he had the bar quiet and empty once more. “I’m not treating you like a child,” he promised, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “But we don’t know if alcohol will affect you like an adult or not. This is for my peace of mind.”
Kaeya looked like he wanted to argue, but with some reluctance, he knew that Diluc was right. He relented with no small sigh, scowling down at the grape juice. “Fine. But I’ve still got work to do.”
The fact that he had called it ‘work’ and had not specified paperwork immediately made Diluc suspicious, and despite his promise to not over worry about the other, he couldn’t help but frown. “Shouldn’t you be taking a few days? You don’t take vacations. I’m sure that the Knights can manage without you. I know you’d normally relish a few days to relax, starlight.”
Diluc was trying to soften him to the idea of taking it easy, and normally, he might be fully inclined to enjoy a little bit of time off. Maybe it was simply the fact that he knew he couldn’t now that made him spiteful over it—maybe all of those conflicting, angry little feelings were directly reflective of the things he knew he couldn’t do or have now.
It stung a little to know that maybe he was just throwing a bit of a tantrum. “Jean said the same thing, and if it was any other week, I would love to slack off and have you serve me possibly my least favorite drink in all of Mondstadt-“
He stopped short, because the reserved frown on Diluc’s face hinted that this wouldn’t sit well with him, and the last thing he wanted was to get chased through the wilderness as if he wouldn’t see the other lingering after him at a hundred paces, supposedly out of sight. Under his breath, Kaeya dropped his gaze and sighed, fully aware that it likely looked like he was pouting again.
Probably because he was pouting, this time. Still, they had learned long ago that their relationship worked best now that they could be a little more… honest with one another. He needed to make a compromise. He needed to trust Diluc.
“I’ll make a deal with you and stay here, if you can do something for me. I’ve got a few people who are…. Out of line of where I need them to be, and while I’d normally be happy to corral them without drawing too much attention to the Knights, I need it to stay off the record.”
Kaeya didn’t miss Diluc’s half smile as the other poured him another cup of grape juice, despite Kaeya’s clear disdain of it. “Is this the Ordo Favo’s Cavalry Captain asking a civilian for assistance?”
The younger man’s tiny chest puffed up in indignant frustration. “I will go handle it on my own-“
Diluc set the cup down a little harder than what might have been otherwise necessary, the joking smile vanishing at what might have not been an empty threat at all. “You can trust me with it, Kaeya. I’ll handle it. Just promise me you’ll take a few days off for this—I’ll take a few off too, just so you don’t have to deal with it alone.”
Getting Diluc to take time off was… well, between the Winery and the Angel’s Share and every other minute detail of business that came his way, more difficult than it was to get even Jean to take a break. Despite the moments that Kaeya managed to steal away from the rest of Diluc’s schedule, they were rarely anything other than swiftly stolen opportunities.
If Diluc was going to be gentle with how he was handling this approach for bartering, then Kaeya would give into it—but not without a little bratty stubbornness, because he was more likely to get away with it now than any time else. “I want a week after I’m back to normal, too. And our birthdays. And the next Windblume.” Diluc opened his mouth, startled by the little, insistent rush, but Kaeya continued, cutting him off. “Even if I know I’m going to be working Windblume, I want to spend it with you. You can go on patrol with me, or sit in Jean’s office with me while I look after everything while she’s out.”
Kaeya had been good about not asking him to return to the Knight’s Headquarters with him, knowing that it struck a bad taste in his mouth even now—but there was something about the way he screwed his expression tight, his lower lip poking out as he tried to do anything to make himself seem bigger, more insistent. It was… really painfully adorable.
“A week after, our birthdays, and if I can find someone to cover the bar for Windblume, I’ll go out on patrols with you. But you’ll have to help me get the wine stock up and organize everything so whoever takes over for it will be prepared ahead of time,” Diluc offered, leaning forward against the bar—though Kaeya still sat so low on the stool that it really didn’t do anything to close the distance between them. He extended his hand, pinkie outwards. Kaeya’s was barely enough to wrap around it, but he gave a little shake, regardless.
“Deal,” he mumbled, sitting up straight on the stool, looking rather pleased with himself for the small victory.
Diluc took advantage of Kaeya being just a bit closer from the gesture, giving him a little kiss on the forehead, because anything else felt like it might be too strange to consider, given the circumstances. “Let’s head back to the Winery, for now,” he offered—particularly considering it seemed like Kaeya had no intention of touching the second cup of grape juice with a ten foot pole, much less actually plan on drinking it.
He moved around the bar to flip the sign—something that Charles would undoubtedly handle when he came in for his shift, but for now, there were far more important matters to take care of. Kaeya squirmed and turned around, and Diluc could have curled up and died a little at how precious it was that his little boots couldn’t even reach the second rung of the stool. Oh, he was never going to let him live this down. “…You can ride with me on the way back from the Winery, and leave your horse stabled in town until you can ride on your own again,” Diluc offered, which was… a bit of a relief. Kaeya would have stubbornly tried on his own if he hadn’t made the offer, they both knew that.
Quietly though, one cheek already puffed in the half sulk of even having to ask, Kaeya shifted to kick his legs a little. “Carry me to the horses? I feel like I walked four miles instead of just from the Favonius Headquarters.”
Knowing that he might catch one of those tiny fists if he teased him about it, Diluc just smiled and scooped Kaeya up, where the smaller male tucked his cheek against Diluc’s shoulder and tried to pretend like he wasn’t exhausted from the events of the day already.
Damn that tiny body and its limited reserves of energy. Damn Diluc for being a veritable furnace at any time of the year, because he was already feeling drowsy by the time he realized being carried was almost comfortable, actually. Diluc, feeling a little tender and wondering if this would be what it would be like to carry their own children in his arms, some day when they were braver and feeling like they were either responsible enough or prepared enough to have kids of their own, just brushed his fingers through Kaeya’s hair and locked up behind himself before heading off in the direction of the city’s stables.