Work Text:
I
It’s a fight over who has to cook every night. Bruce is already out because boy may be able to cook up some science, but his cooking tastes like dead cats. Tony barely manages to make toaster waffles in the morning, Thor has no idea how to use any of the Midgardian kitchen utilities, Clint makes breakfast every morning to avoid the dinner rush, and Bucky just can’t cook. It’s usually between Steve and Natasha. Steve, like the chivalrous young man he is, offers to cook. Five minutes later Nat hears a frustrated “How the fuck do I use the microwave.” (language, Cap) so Nat comes out to the kitchen to save Steve’s ass by just cooking everything herself.
An hour later, everything is almost done and suddenly the entire building shakes Everyone’s like “WTF an earthquake in NY??” Nope it’s the Bifrost, but now everything is ruined - everything. In the end, Tony just gets JARVIS to order pizza.
II
STAR WARS MARATHONS! Steve, Bucky and Thor have no idea what Star Wars is, so Nat basically duct tapes them to the couch while Tony stars the movie and Clint makes popcorn. Bucky falls asleep within the first 30 minutes, Sam waits for Steve to fall asleep before starting to draw on Bucky’s face. Eventually everyone’s asleep except Thor and he is confused as hell. He doesn’t get why Midgardians find these fantasy movies entertaining (all of this fighting and parent drama is day to day life for him lmao).
III
Peter Parker has been adopted by ALL OF THE AVENGERS. They love him to bits. Wanda is the only one he calls by her name, sometimes he calls her Miss Witch and she lets him and it’s just so sweet. She’s basically become his big sister. Everyone else is either Mister or Miss to him.
Once Peter was messing around in Tony’s lab and blew it up - accidentally. Tony was like “It’s fine kid, don’t worry about it,” even though he was tearing up.
IV
One day Natasha brings home a cat and everyone’s like “WTF Nat”, but they’re also too scared of her to question it. The cat goes missing in, like, two weeks. Nat thinks Thor took it back to Asgard with him (she’s still not over the kitchen fiasco), but it was actually Clint keeping it in his room and trying to teach it how to use a bow and arrow.
“Clint, what are you doing??”
“Training our newest Avenger.”
“Clint, no.”
“Clint, yes.”
Nat eventually gets her cat back and everyone is happy. Except Clint. But then Nat gets him his own cat and he’s happy.