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Kira Izuru was nervous. Although, some could say most of the times he looked too concerned about work matters—he wasn’t, being proactive in detecting and calling out for issues should be seen as a positive point—he actually was good at controlling his emotions.
Still, many people thought he was a workaholic or that he couldn’t stand living in peace and just wanted to find issues where there were none.
Call him a fatalist, but he knew that there was no need to be worried about things outside his control, so he tended to just react towards a solution immediately and not spend too much time upset. He liked to be prepared for any possible outcome, and be proactive instead of reactive and therefore seemed like he was looking for issues when he was just trying to prevent them.
Which made the current situation completely out of the ordinary for him, and honestly he was freaking out.Maybe because it was something under his control, and whatever it was the outcome it would be on him. He was the one who deliberately decided to make a move; calculated the odds of success, mapped all the possible results, and he knew he had a chance! He couldn’t be wrong!
He was pretty sure that Hisagi had been sending him signs. The lingering touches, the late nights spending just talking about anything and everything on Kira’s porch, the bento boxes that Hisagi had no reason to give him, or the overly protective stance he took whenever Kira had an argument in the Lieutenant meetings. All of these had to mean something, it couldn’t be a simple friendship. His feelings couldn’t be one-sided, they didn’t feel one-sided.
And that was why he decided to do something about it. If Hisagi was too thick headed in understanding that Kira was on the same page as he was, then the blond was going to be the one taking charge and break the invisible barrier that separated them.
The door in front of him was much bigger than before, or maybe Kira was the one feeling little with his heart beating so much it felt like it was going to burst at any time. His palms were sweaty, his breathing harsher and he had to wait at least a couple of minutes internalizing what he was going to do, before knocking.
It was just a question.
A simple question.
Gathering all the strength he still had left that wasn’t eaten by his nerves, he slid the door and entered the room. Hisagi was sitting at his desk doing reports and when he looked up and smiled, suddenly all the courage was gone. The blinding smile made him giddy and unable to think, his brain short-circuitedand left him practically unable to speak. He didn’t even realize that his body moved and sat in the chair across from the other man.
This was the ability that Hisagi had on him; he would make him completely and utterly dumb .
The way his heart pounded made him shake, his throat was dry, and he actually wondered if he was going to pass out at some point.
“What’s up?” Hisagi’s voice echoed in his mind, the kind tone warming him in a tight embrace. He opened his mouth to respond, but no sound came out. This was so embarrassing, Hisagi was his best friend, how could a simple question make him so fearful. Decades of friendship affected by his feelings, he was so pathetic.
“Uh…” The words were stuck. Hisagi’s eyes were on him, piercing through his entire body. “I… hmm,” he cleared his throat and breathed deeply. “I-I have a question for you.”
“Okay, shoot!”
The way the sun glowed behind Hisagi was enticing, the way it highlighted his hair into dark purple shades made him look so soft, so ethereal. Hisagi was like one of those main characters in the drama series from the Human world, dreamy and mysterious, kind but thoughtful, and every single time he took Kira’s breath away.
Just a quick question.
“Do you want to have dinner with me?”
There. Easy.
“Dinner?”
“Y-yes dinner as in… you know we could have a d-da-”
“Sure,” Hisagi interrupted with an amused grin, “Is tonight good for you?”
Kira’s eyed rounded in surprise. From all the possibilities he went through before, Hisagi accepting right away was not on the top. He thought he was going to have to spend some time convincing him. He had even listed the pros and cons of dating!
“Y-yes! I mean of course.”
It took a couple of hours until Kira freed himself from the state of daze he was involved in since he left the Ninth Squad and let the idea sink in;he was going on a date with Hisagi, they were going to go together for dinner!
This was better than any scenario he had ever imagined. Hisagi and him have a candle light dinner, with Hisagi walking him home or him walking the brunet home and then one of them inviting the other inside… and maybe the next day waking up together and having breakfast together!
Happy, he went through his closet looking for a nice yukata, thinking about Hisagi’s reaction. He was so quick in saying yes, which had to mean something. He wouldn’t accept immediately if there wasn’t a reason, he had to like him back!
It wasn’t like he was thinking it was just a dinner between friends, right?
That would be silly.
Kira stopped half-dressed in the middle of this room and frowned. He was pretty sure he had mentioned it was a date, he was clear on it… Hisagi knew that. Of course, he did. Why would he smile the way he did, if it wasn’t for a date?
He had to cast away all of his doubts and lock in a treasure chest in the bottom of the ocean. Hisagi knew it and that was why he said yes. He wasn’t wrong!
He was wrong.
Very wrong.
When they met at the restaurant, Hisagi was already there, looking like he came directly from the Ninth and was with Abarai… and Iba… and Madarame and Ayasegawa… and for some reason even Captain Kyoraku was present.
“Here Kira! Come and join us!” Abarai yelled, spilling his glass with rosy cheeks. They had been there for a while drinking, the majority drunk.
His eyes met Hisagi’s and for a second he thought he had seen a glint of an apologetic look, but as fast as it showed up it also disappeared.
When Kira went closer, he tried his best to not show his disappointment. He didn’t have the opportunity to sit next to Hisagi who was on the other side of the table or talk to him, not even when the redhead teased him about his clothes. He had zero chances of doing anything he wanted, his attempt of going on a date failing miserably, and by the time he arrived and laid down in bed, he couldn’t feel disappointed with himself.
Still, he couldn’t let it bother him too much. Hisagi was a pragmatic person, he just needed to be more direct. No reason to give up. He was sure Hisagi felt something for him, it was too obvious.
The next time Kira asked Hisagi on a date, he made sure there was no possibility for any of his friends to join. He hadn’t asked him in person, still afraid of being turned down like last time—where he technically wasn’t, but he kind of was—but sent a small package with a letter with I want to go together with you and a heart.
When Hisagi called him yelling loudly how great he was, he felt like the king of the world.
“You’re seriously the best!” Hisagi said as they walked to the venue where they were going to meet one of their favorite haiku author’s from the human world. Kira’s face still tingled from being squeezed when Hisagi hugged him.
The day was wonderful, they visited the exhibition and met the author who autographed their copies of his book, and Hisagi almost cried when the author complimented an embarrassing haiku that Hisagi had created. It was a wonderful feeling seeing Hisagi enjoying their date.
After the exhibition, they went to a coffee shop and Hisagi couldn’t stop rambling about what they had experienced in the past hours. He was like a kid who just left the candy store with his pockets full.
“I cannot thank you enough for getting these tickets, I’m so happy you have no idea,” Hisagi said, grabbing his hand, sitting across from him, and Kira’s breathing faltered. Hisagi’s hand was so rough against his, years of zanjutsu training embedded in those long fingers, that big palm. He wondered so many times how those hands would feel in his body, against his skin.
“I’m happy that you are happy.”
“I am! And I’m especially happy that we’re doing this together, I know how much you love the author too.”
Kira was so smitten by Hisagi and the feeling of his hand in his that he didn’t comprehend immediately what the other man was saying until a couple of minutes later.
“Well, he’s not my favorite, but he’s alright.” He had purchased the tickets really for Hisagi, romantic type haiku were not really his style.
Hisagi chuckled as he leaned back and disconnected their hands.
“Right, you don’t need to pretend with me. I have proof you know?”
“Proof?”
“Yeah, here,” Hisagi said, pulling the letter from his pocket. “You even put on a heart like a teenage kid.”
The way those words hit him, shouldn’t have hurt that much. Not only Hisagi hadn’t seen their trip to the human world as a date, but the way he mocked his letter made it hurt a thousand times worse.
He forced a smile and nervously laughed, “You got me.”
He felt like fleeing as Hisagi continued to tease him. Maybe he had imagined things before, maybe he was seeing things where there was none. When Hisagi was closer to him, maybe it was him being his best friend, showering him with an intimacy that was too much for a regular friend, but not enough for a lover. Maybe it was one-sided afterall.
That night when he was laying in bed staring at the ceiling, he tried to make sense of all their interactions. Hisagi was a touchy guy with his friends, but he was more with Kira especially when they were alone. They would even hug when they parted late at night… Also, Hisagi had cooked so many times for him, even joking once that Kira was lucky that he was a great househusband. That day Kira had blushed so hard that Hisagi thought he was having a sun stroke.
And then there was the incident. When they were both stuck in one of Kurotsuchi’s random traps near the Twelfth Squad and they were glued together with a super adhesive goo that was only removed by Unohana’s own strong reiatsu. They had spent around 3 hours together with Hisagi stuck to Kira’s back where the brunet just kept whispering in his ear that “at least it’s you, if this was the end I wouldn’t mind it being with you.” Kira was sure that meant what he thought it meant, and that was what gave him the courage to ask Hisagi to have dinner together. To be something more than they were now.
Maybe… maybe he had to be more direct?
A week after, all Lieutenants were sent to a seminar about Leadership in Rukongai 10 and ended up staying in a local inn. Due to budget restrictions, they had to pair up for the rooms, and lucky for him Abarai decided to pair with Kuchiki, which meant Kira and Hisagi stayed together.
The rooms were simple with space for two futons laying on the floor side by side. Hisagi was still showering when Kira reckoned that this night might be the right time for him to confess. Just the two of them in a room, about to sleep next to each other would be the perfect time for him to tell about his feelings. Say all the words, make sure that Hisagi understood that he liked him, no… that he loved him. He was going to spell it if he had to!
When his friend returned, Kira sat in the bed in the seiza position and asked him to join him.
“I have something to tell you.”
Hisagi was in front of him with crossed legs, the sleeping yukata opening slightly in his torso; a tanned firmed chest exposed. Kira gulped as he looked away. This was supposed to be a romantic confession, not a hot perverted one (unless Hisagi wanted to).
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, just… I really want to be honest… with you and… with my feelings,” he bit his lower lip, nervous. Hisagi was watching him attentively, and he felt so naked, translucent, like a book that was opened in the page where the climax was transcribed.
“Tell me... about your feelings.” The dark eyes pierced him so deeply, he was afraid to let out a weird sound. A low moan was stuck in his throat and all he could do was force himself to not look down to the firm pecs, or up to the soft looking lips, or to those killer-eyes, damn he loved him so much!
Just do it! Just say it!
“I… I’m in-”
The door of their room slid roughly with a bang as it hit the hedge and Abarai entered without asking permission with his tied hair tousled and his yukata disheveled. He had been kicked out of Rukia’s for making a comment about Kuchiki Byakuya and had no other place to crash as there were some weird noises coming from Iba’s room.
Upon ranting about his failed booty call, Abarai ended up falling asleep between their futons and Kira was now cursing his entire existence and lack of luck.
As he laid looking at the old ceiling, he wondered if maybe fate was not on his side on this one.
It was in a random Shinigami assembly that Kira’s world took a turn. With the majority of the Shinigami seated officers listening to Yamamoto talking about values and integrity and all of the things that no one really cared about. It was always the same speech, every single year and after listening for over 50 years the same thing didn't have the same impact anymore.
And that was when Hisagi pulled him discreetly by his arm to the side where they hid behind a pillar.
“Do you need some liquid courage?” he said, grabbing a small bottle from his shitagi and taking a swing.
“Really, Hisagi-san? Where did you get that?” Kira scoffed but grabbed the offered bottle and took a sip. He grimaced at the weird tasting sake. It was not the fancy stuff.
“Madarame.”
“Hmm…” He took another sip before returning it. It tasted like hell, but maybe it could numb him a little bit.
“How much time is this going to last?”
“Another hour I think. I’m about to fall asleep to be honest.”
Hisagi chuckled after he drank more and hid the bottle in his clothes whenever someone looked their way.
“The majority of them are already asleep.”
He looked around and noticed that indeed most of the Shinigami looked like zombies half-awake with eyes half-closed.
“Wanna get out of here?”
Hisagi looked at him expectantly, and he could only nod dumbly. If their Captains found out they were screwed, but as Hisagi used to say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
And they walked away in the empty roads of Seireitei with no particular destination in mind, sharing a bottle of home-brew sake and complaining about work.
Like all the walks they had, this one led to the Third Squad barracks and they ended up in Kira’s living room spread on the floor drinking from a nicer bottle of sake. They weren’t drunk, just feeling a nice buzz when Hisagi spoke.
“Kira?”
“hmm?” He kept his eyes closed as he laid on the floor.
“I think we should date.”
His eyes opened immediately. Hisagi was leaning on his arm, half-laying on his side and looking at him.
“W-what?”
“I mean, I like you, actually I love you for a long time. And I think we are super compatible and I know that there’s this thing going on between us for a while, and I think about you everyday and I want to be with you, and god you’re so hot I can’t even focus on other things when I’m with you, and like right now I’m just thinking about how much I want to kiss you and-”
“Hisagi-san,” Kira said, overwhelmed with what he just heard. He had been so silly, it was this simple wasn’t it? His heart beat increased at a drastic pace and he couldn’t stop watching Hisagi as he seemed to understand the impact of his words. “I think we should date too.”
And the smile he received was the brightest of them all, so raw, so beautiful it made him feel completed. He was going to make sure he was going to see that smile everyday for the rest of his life.
“I also think you should kiss me.”
And Hisagi leaned immediately, towering over him. They were separated just by a couple of inches.
“Is this really real?” the brunet asked between heavy breaths.
“Yes.”
“Do you like me back?”
“Not like, love.”
“You love me back?”
“Yes, yes, yes.” and at that, Hisagi’s mouth met his and both moaned in relief as if they were waiting for the kiss like a thirsty person in the desert. First kisses were usually bad, not synchronized or just plain weird, but kissing Hisagi was like it was meant to be, and as they moved their lips, he grabbed the dark hair pulling him closer for more.
They kissed, needy, with tongues meeting each other and in a short amount of minutes, kosodes and shitagis were being pulled apart by also needy hands.
“We’re skipping a few steps, aren’t we? A couple of dates at least,” Hisagi said, opening the obi and working on the sash.
“No offense, Hisagi-san, but I took you to two dates already, you’re the one who didn’t get it.”
“What?”
“I invited you to dinner just the two of us and you brought an army of people, and I took you to the human world to the exhibition.”
“Fuck… I fuck… I had a feeling something was different, but I…”
“Forget it now Hisagi-san, just repay me with more kissing,” he demanded, and melted as he felt Hisagi’s mouth on him again.
They were going to have many other opportunities to go on dates. After all, they were finally happy together.
The End.