Chapter Text
tsukkishima found himself sitting against the wall after a long day of volleyball practice. he wiped his sweat off with the hem of his shirt and looked around the gym, seeing his teammates drinking water n talking with one another. yamaguchi sat beside him, cooling down from today’s intense practice.
“remember guys, we have the training camp in tokyo next week!” daichi called out to the team.
the kids cheered and chattered among each other, filled with excitement about playing and training with the other teams. tsukishima sighed under his breath and looked over at yamaguchi who gave him a small smile.
“c’mon tsukki it’ll be fun!! the food there is always so good.” at this, tsukishima chuckled. he had to admit it had been a while since he ate a good meal. maybe this wouldn’t be so bad...
after long days like this, tsukkishima wanted nothing but to curl up in bed and watch some tv. he felt out of place when with anyone other than yamaguchi. tsukishima had noticed recently though that his team was slowly beginning to feel like a second family to him (even though “first” family was practically nonexistent).
“tsukki? you there?” yamaguchi waved his hand in tsukishima’s face to get his attention. “c’mon, let’s go get changed n walk home!”
with a grunt, tsukkishima took yamaguchi’s outstretched hand and they took off towards the changing room with the rest of their teammates.
...
the walk home was quiet and cold. it was winter, and the ground was covered in puddles of half melted snow. tsukishima leaned into yamaguchi’s side as they walked- for “warmth” he said. yamaguchi basked in the glow of his best friend’s affection. the soft side of tsukishima was something only yamaguchi got to experience, something rare and filled with trust. realizing that they had arrived at tsukishima’s house, yamaguchi waved goodbye and then walked the last few blocks to his own house with a lingering heat in his side.
once tsukishima was in his own room, he made a beeline for his bed. more specifically, the secret box under his bed. he sifted through the contents of the box- a box of worn down crayons, a plush dinosaur from his childhood, and a pacifier he had shamefully stolen from the corner store. he settled on the dinosaur plush and let his tired body recline on the bed.
for once, tsukkishima was thankful that he was the only one home. with akiteru at college and his parents away on business trips, kei found himself alone most of the time. usually the silence was too loud and he had to talk himself out of asking yamaguchi to come over. he didn’t want to take his friend away from his family. when tsukkishima was regressed, he enjoyed the comfort of the empty house. no one to tip toe around or hide from. that didn’t mean there wasn’t times when he didn’t feel lonely in his regressed state. in fact, most of the time, kei wished for company when he was small. he yearned for one boy in particular with dark green hair and constellations of freckles across his body. today was one of those days where tsukishima felt too small and too alone, swallowed whole by his comforter. he just wanted his yamaguchi.
when tsukishima was regressed, he wasn’t too different from his usual self. he was still quiet and reserved, letting out a sniffle or whine here and there. you could even say he was more reserved when he was regressed. he usually kept himself busy with coloring pages he printed out or a couple episodes of dinosaur train. when he wasn’t feeling up to doing any of that, he curled up in bed with his pacifier and listened to lullabies on youtube. it wasn’t much, but it was enough for tsukishima.
the way tsukishima had been thrust into independence without a choice had led him to bask in the warmth of regression. his parents hadn’t been around much during his childhood either, leaving akiteru to look after him during the little time he had after school and rigorous volleyball practice. tsukishima just wanted some time where he could take back the childhood he never had, let himself relax and put down all the weight he carried.
after a couple hours had passed and tsukishima had dozed off curled around his dinosaur plushie, he got up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. since he felt bigger than he did when he fell asleep, tsukishima returned his plushie to his little box and got his homework out from his backpack. thankfully, he hadn’t been out for too long and he had enough time to complete all his assignments and still make it to bed at a decent time.
...
the next day at school, kei found it hard to keep himself from slipping. recently, it had been almost unbearable to keep himself out of his headspace and he wondered what had been different? akiteru hadn’t come to visit for a few months longer than usual but tsukishima never thought something as simple as loneliness would take this much of a toll on him. he was strong, being alone wasn’t new to him.
so why was it so much harder to deal with now?
tsukishima snapped himself out of his thoughts and did his best to stay focused on the task at hand, math class. after this he’d have volleyball practice and then finally go home. thank god it was friday.. tsukishima really needed this weekend off. especially since next week was the training camp in tokyo.
he needed to get a grip before then, he really couldn’t risk regressing at any point next week. he’d be surrounded by his own teammates and kids from other teams, too. tsukishima’s head began to ache. he needed to calm down and stop worrying so much. would everything be okay?
yamaguchi nudged tsukishima’s side from his seat next to him and held up his notebook. tsukishima looked over to see a crappy doodle of what looked like the two of them in front of a house.. complete with a dog. a smile tugged at the corner of tsukishima’s lips, and he felt comforted then that everything would be just fine.