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At first, Shepard hadn’t really been looking forward to shore leave. After spending the last few months with near-constant work, gearing up for their fight against the reapers and juggling politics, it was difficult to get out of that headspace and entertain the idea of some time off.
The party helped. Shepard hadn’t realized until they were in one room together, just how many people she had come to call her friends over the years. It was more than nice to have everyone in one place for a few hours.
This apartment was so.. pristine, so otherworldly classy. Shepard was glad for the messy aftermath of the party, it made this place feel a bit more lived in. Shepard wasn’t used to this level of bourgeoisie at all. Sure, Anderson had more than earned such a nice place after all his years in service, but she never imagined owning this type of luxury herself. If she had any say in it, this wasn’t exactly her pictured idea of a home. But- she appreciated the thought, it was humanizing in a way to have something permanent to call hers.
Still... Shepard couldn’t help but wonder if Anderson specifically installed the hot tub himself? What was with that ugly statue on the second-floor landing? And what the hell was this painting even about? Had Anderson ordered this crap or did it come with the apartment?
Shepard heard Kaidan before she saw him, strong arms wrapped around her waist. She leaned back against his chest.
“How many credits do you think this painting cost?”
Kaidan chuckled, he thought for a moment. “Too many.”
“I should have let Jack throw darts at it like she wanted to.” Shepard had awoken that morning earlier than usual, she left Kaidan sleeping and went through her morning routine. She’d just finished her morning workout when Kaidan found her staring at the big ugly black and white painting with a cup of coffee in her hands.
He gave her a quick peck on the cheek before letting her go, the smell of coffee pulling him away from her. Shepard followed him to the kitchen, sitting atop a counter as he poured himself a mug.
She kicked her legs out, enjoying how the counter was tall enough that she could swing her legs. Shepard watched Kaidan put far too much sugar in his coffee, it was strangely cute albeit disgusting. She wondered if it was a military acquired habit, the coffee that was stocked in the Normandy was genuinely awful and it made sense to use far too much sugar to mask the taste. In her entire career with the Alliance, everywhere she’d ever been stationed stocked the same exact awful coffee. As bad as Cerberus was, they did stock the ship better than the Alliance.
Kaidan leaned against the counter across from her, “Been up long?”
“About an hour, I wanted to let you sleep. Gotta sleep in when you can right? We’ll be back on the ship soon.” There was an air of sadness in her tone, this little vacation had been nice. Sure there was the whole clone business but honestly, that felt almost fun. Shepard never liked to sit still for long.
“I could get used to this.” She flashed him a smile.
Kaidan lowered his mug, raising a brow. “Really? This place doesn’t really seem your style, Shep.”
She laughed in response, rolling her eyes. “Not this place particularly, I just mean I could get used to having you all to myself. No work, no more saving the galaxy. Just you and me.”
He chuckled at that, Kaidan stepped forward; he placed a hand on her knee. Silently asking her to open her legs so he could stand between them. His hands slid up her thighs.
“You’d get bored.” He leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.
Shepard sighed, enjoying the close contact. “I’d keep myself busy.”
“Yeah? What would be a normal day for Shepard the civilian?” Kaidan’s hands settled on her hips.
“I’d wake up next to you. Then I’d ruin breakfast..” She laughed, remembering their first night of shore leave where she tried to be romantic by cooking them breakfast but she somehow managed to burn pancakes so badly that the poor pan had to be thrown out.
“Oh? I’m also in this scenario?”
“Well, I wouldn't be settling down for some cushy civilian life without you.”
For some reason the admission made her cheeks feel hot, Shepard knew this was just some silly made-up scenario for fun but this was quickly getting sappy. She usually hated this sort of mushy banter. It felt like something from Tali’s cheesy romance movies.
Kaidan paused, realizing the weight of her words. Shepard had never been big on the I love you’s. It wasn’t her style. He didn’t push, understanding why she had such difficulty with the concept. There wasn’t much time for love in the middle of a war and she hadn’t had a break from saving the galaxy since meeting her. They’d had their ups and downs in the past..but what she said just then was as close to an admission of love that he had ever gotten. Kaidan was absolutely grinning at the realization, completely stunned by her words.
Shepard groaned, she pushed at his face; covering his smile. “Actually scratch that, I’m gonna live my cushy civilian life without you. I’ll get into building model ships and adopt a Varren.”
He caught her hand, kissing her wrist before pulling her body closer to the edge of the counter to pull her against himself. He caught Shepard’s glance and soon their lips met. Shepard was more than happy to kiss back, feeling slightly embarrassed and not wanting to face the consequences of her words. She kissed ferociously as she always did, jumping from zero to a hundred in mere seconds.
An amused noise sounded from Kaidan, he gently placed a hand against her cheek as he attempted to slow things down. His free hand wound around Shepard’s lower back, his fingers splayed out against the curve of her spine.
Slowly.. Shepard began to relax against him, allowing him to take charge. The change of pace was.. interesting. Kaidan slowly introduced his tongue to the kiss, it slowly pushed against hers in a way that had her shivering in his arms. Shepard was somewhat giddy to realize that there were making out like-.. like real people. Like normal people. Like a couple that didn’t have to sneak around from duty and obligation and fuck like rabbits when the opportunity arose. Like a couple that didn’t suffer someone dying and being resurrected and the years of hurt that came with it. The idea had warmth blooming in her chest, she pulled away from Kaidan with a distant smile.
Kaidan rested his forehead on hers, breathing her in. Since he’d rejoined the Normandy they didn’t have time for any sort of romantics or softness. At least not in a way that Shepard wanted. Kaidan felt as if they’d spent more time screwing than talking as of late. He suspected Shepard was trying to make up for lost time, trying to distract herself from the crumbling universe around them for just a few moments of pleasure found in him. Kaidan didn’t mind. He sometimes felt the same way, it was easy to lose himself in whatever stolen moments they could find, he felt as if when he was inside of her all the distance that had grown between them dissipated to nothing. He felt as if he could forget their reality for just a few moments and pretend as if they were back on the SR-1 before all the hurt arose. Before they knew how dire things would become. In the heat of the moment, nothing mattered but Shepard and her body against his.
Moments with her outside of closed doors still felt.. odd . What could they talk about that wasn’t depressing? Hope for the future? Earth was in ruins and it was all on Shepard to pull the galaxy through this war. Even if they managed a conversation about something or other, it always somehow wound back to things that hurt. To her time with Cerberus, to reminiscing about Earth and the quiet unspoken understanding that they were most likely to not get out of this alive. And if they did.. they were facing an unknown future where they didn’t know how to fit each other into. Mindless sex was easier than thinking about any of this.
But right now.. Kaidan felt a sense of tenderness he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in years. Shepard was sitting on the countertop wearing his shirt, the kitchen smelled like fresh coffee and Shepard was here, alive and well smiling up at him like a complete dork.
There was a time in his life where he would have given anything for this. Kaidan took one more look at the woman before him, and then he was crushing his lips to hers. He’d meant for things to be soft.. but he was overcome with a rush of genuine happiness that it scared him to think about. There was no way that this single perfect moment could be taken without any grain of salt, there was always something around the corner- some new tragedy to tear his heart out and throw it to the dirt.
Shepard giggled as he kissed her. An honest to goodness giggle. The noise surprised both of them, her fingers settled on the back of his neck where she tangled them in his hair that was still mussed from sleep.
Though Kaidan wanted to savor the moment, he couldn’t help but settle his hands on what he could of her hips and ass. He squeezed playfully, causing Shepard to pull away from the kiss with a laugh. It was as if his body worked without understanding his brain’s intent of keeping things slow.
“You’re more stubbly than usual.” Shepard ran her thumb over his cheek and jaw, Kaidan leaned into her touch. In just a week of shore leave, he’d managed a bit of a beard.
“Should I shave?”
“No.. I like it. It’s just different, makes the whole off-duty civilian fantasy we’ve got going on more believable.”
Kaidan smirked, “Is that what we’re doing?”
Shepard only rolled her eyes, giving him a look that wordlessly spoke ‘shut up’.
“Hold on.”
“What?”
Kaidan lifted Shepard from the counter, supporting her by holding her thighs. Shepard squealed, instinctually squirming in his hold. After a moment she wrapped her arms around his neck and unsteadily wrapped her legs around his back
Kaidan carried her the short distance to the couch where he sat and managed to set Shepard in his lap without needing to readjust her.
“Sorry, I didn’t feel like going up all those stairs.”
“And why would we be going upstairs stairs, Major?”
“No reason.” He tilted his head up to press a kiss to her throat, one of his hands slid up her torso by sneaking under the shirt she wore. Shepard looked down with a smirk, she decided to one-up him by rolling her hips down against him.
“Really? Figured I wore you out last night old man. You should’ve heard your snoring. You were knocked out.” Shepard faked a yawn. She enjoyed pushing his buttons, if only for the fact that he usually let her get away with it.
Kaidan gawked, though he wore a smile upon his lips. He held her waist beneath her shirt, his other hand came to her hip so he could hold her steady to grind himself against her. “I’m only three years older than you.”
“Yeah- but I was dead for two years. Meaning you’re more like five years older.” She sighed, biting her lip as she met his thrusts with her own. Their movements were languid, a sharp contrast to the way she was usually naked with Kaidan buried inside of her by now. Hell, she half expected him to bend her over the kitchen counter earlier.
Kaidan only huffed in response to her teasing, “I don’t think I’m doing too bad for nearing forty.”
“Mm, not bad.. You’ve got a decorated career, a fancy-schmancy new title as well. You should be settling down for some pencil-pushing desk job by now. For a soldier, you’re as old as old gets.” Shepard snickered, she settled her hands behind Kaidan’s head to grip the back of the couch.
“You’re right. I’m so damn old I should be married with kids by now.”
“Thinking of retiring after all of this?”
Kaidan stilled his hips’ movement, looking up at Shepard curiously. His earlier sentence was intended to play along with her game talking about hypothetical civilian life, but her question just then sounded oddly serious.
“Are you..?”
“I-” Shepard sat up, weighing the question. “I’m not sure. It’s not something I’ve really thought about. I’m not sure what everything will be like when this is done.”
Kaidan smiled sadly, understanding where she was coming from. She’d never just abandon her post, he could see her as a little old lady still running into battle armed with her favorite krogan shotgun. No hell or high water would take Commander Shepard out of the field. But still.. he liked the idea of settling down, taking a breather for as long as he could before the galaxy needed them again. He’d take all the time he could get with her before the world pulled them apart as it tended to do.
“Hey-” He bit his lip, sighing. “I know it’s probably early to talk about retirement or what we’ll do after we pull through this. But I know no matter what, I’m not letting anything take you away from me. Not again.”
“I know.” Shepard leaned to kiss him once more.
“I mean it. No matter what. Where you go, I go.”
“Careful Alenko, that sounds dangerously close to saying you wanna spend the rest of your life with me.” She teased, though Shepard’s heart beat against her ribcage in a traitorously similar feeling to hope.
“If that’s what it takes.” The hand at her hip rubbed gentle circles into her skin with his thumb.
Shepard’s eyes grew wide. She eyed Kaidan curiously, not quite sure what to make of that.
“Guess we’ll have to make it through this then.” She laughed disbelievingly. “Jeez, if I knew all I had to do was save the galaxy a few times over to get a husband I would’ve fought a little harder.”
“What can I say? I like a capable woman. Bonus points if she knows how to handle a weapon.” Kaidan spoke breathlessly, part of his brain ran in circles while he pondered what Shepard had just spoken to him. Sure, her tone was sarcastic.. but there was a lot of heart in her words. This was more than any spoken I love you could say or mean.
They quieted after that, neither person knew what to say next. Shepard leaned down to rest against his chest. Kaidan’s arms wrapped around her waist to pull her close in a tight hug. Shepard eventually peeked her head up from its position buried in his neck, she pulled him into a kiss and Kaidan relaxed against it.
It didn’t take long before things got heated once more, their bodies knew how to jump the awkward hurdle of this new concept of domesticity more than they were able to speak with words. Kaidan’s hands slid up over the naked expanse of her back, keeping her down and close to himself, he settled one palm against her lower back while the other raised higher to learn she’d forgone a bra.
Shepard giggled as she felt a hand on her breast, she pulled away from the kiss to remove her shirt and toss it somewhere behind herself.
“Why’re you wearing my shirt when yours are the exact same thing?”
“ ‘Found it on the floor. Finders keepers.” Shepard was completely bullshitting, though their uniforms were identical and the Alliance provided only slight variations of their gear, Kaidan was right. There was no difference between hers or his. She’d found it on the floor that morning abandoned where Kaidan had thrown it the previous night and decided to wear it simply because she wanted to. That and she liked the way it smelled. She decided to throw him a bone. “..it’s more worn in than any of mine. I like it. You’ve gotten it to be all soft and snuggly.”
“I never took you for the sentimental type Shep.”
“Only when it comes to you.”
Kaidan grinned, he sat up to pull Shepard into a crushing kiss. Her hands wandered the expanse of his chest while he kept his on her hips while she gently started to rub herself against his lap once more.
“ ‘Doesn’t seem fair, I’m in just my underwear and you’ve still got everything on.”
Kaidan rolled his eyes, “You could just ask me to strip you know.”
“But where’s the fun in being direct? Don’t you want a little bit of nuance?”
Shepard climbed out of his lap to allow him to take his clothes off. He stripped to his underwear and then joined Shepard on the couch by gently easing her to lay back before settling his body atop hers, settling his hips between her legs so they could both fit. Shepard slid a hand down his spine, appreciatively tracing the muscled expanse of his back before settling playfully on his ass. Kaidan only chuckled, wiggling his hips as if to buck her off, though the movement inadvertently forced him to grind against Shepard’s spread legs, causing them both to groan in response.
Kaidan placed a hand above Shepard’s head and lifted himself to rest his weight on it, he brought himself to his knees while looking down at Shepard with a confident smirk. His free hand slid down her torso to slip into her panties where he began to slowly rub his middle finger against her clit.
“You look good like this.”
“Mm.. so do you.” Shepard’s voice came out breathily, she bit her lip while meeting his gaze. Kaidan’s fingers slid easily against her, all of the grinding and making out had gotten her more than worked up. That and Kaidan was being adorably sweet right now.
Kaidan’s fingers moved languidly, slow enough that it caused Shepard to shiver as he began to apply more pressure. He waited until she was panting before sliding lower to between her lips to push a finger inside. Shepard wiggled her hips, seeking more than just his slow teasing. The movement caused Kaidan to chuckle, his thumb rubbed at her clit along while slowly pumping his finger in and out.
“Is there something I can help you with Commander?” He spoke her title with the air of a joke, playing on how she seemingly loved to call him major when she wanted to poke at him.
“Yeah-” she moaned with a breathy gasp, “You could stop teasing me for one.”
“I could..” He made no move to speed up, if anything his thumb slowed its ministrations and began to just barely graze her clit.
“Kaidan-” Shepard attempted to sound upset, she wanted to boss him into giving her what she wanted but she enjoyed his relaxed demeanor. She instead decided to pout, turning her head as to not look at him. She stubbornly did her best to hold back her sigh as he leaned down just a bit to kiss her jaw, he grazed her jawline with his teeth before kissing lower to her neck. Shepard responded with a gasp, her hips raising in a weak attempt to ask for more.
His fingers did not relent. Kaidan smirked, loving how every little touch got some sort of reaction from her. An idea formed in his head, he pulled his hand away from Shepard, and before she could complain he pulled her panties down her legs. He lowered his body and settled his shoulders between her thighs. He looked up to meet Shepard’s surprised gaze and without wasting a second more he buried his face between her legs.
Shepard groaned heavily as his tongue began to lap at her center. He gripped her thighs while swirling his tongue against her clit where he began to lick in broad up and down strokes. She had just about gotten used to him against her clit when he introduced two fingers into her cunt. Shepard whimpered, her back arching off of the couch involuntarily at the sudden assault of unexpected pleasure. He placed a hand on her stomach, aiming to calm her down with his touch. Shepard clutched at it, causing him to chuckle lowly against her.
The fingers inside of her fucked her hard and fast. His earlier teasing had dissipated completely, right now all he wanted was to feel Shepard come undone. He wanted to see her as a fucked out whimpering mess. Which.. Seemingly wouldn’t be difficult with the way Shepard was biting down on the side of her thumb to quiet her moans. It was rare that Shepard allowed herself in such a vulnerable position, she usually didn’t have any patience to let him play with her, she was the type to take what she wanted and he was normally happy to oblige… but for once she was seemingly allowing him to take charge.
Shepard fucked like she fought. She was a soldier, efficient and powerful, wasting no time with any bells and whistles. She’d sit on his face sure.. but having her spread out and whimpering for him was enough to have him grinding his hips against the couch.
He continued his quick pace until Shepard was shaking below him, panting out breathy little moans that she normally tried so hard to repress. Kaidan experimented with a sucking motion against her clit in addition to his movements, he apparently did something right because Shepard suddenly clenched her thighs around his head with a shuddering groan. He eased his tongue from her but continued to fuck her with his fingers through her orgasm, stopping only when Shepard whined for him to stop. He sat up with a shit-eating grin, Shepard laid panting with an arm thrown over her forehead covering her eyes.
“H-holy shit.” Shepard’s breathing slowly began to steady, she laughed breathlessly. Kaidan couldn’t wipe the smile from his face, it was cheesy but he meant what he said to her a few months ago. She really did make him happy beyond words. He leaned over her body to kiss her deeply, meanwhile easing his underwear down his hips to free his cock; though the position only allowed him to tug the material to his thighs. She wriggled beneath him, turning her hips to the side and bringing her legs up. It was clear what she wanted but Kaidan didn’t give in right away. He pulled away from her lips with a smirk and lifted one of her legs to lay it up and over his shoulder. With this position, his neglected though thoroughly interested cock was only inches from her center, he wanted nothing more than to finally thrust inside of her but he refrained for no other reason than to see how far Shepard’s patience could be tested.
He scooted his knees closer, Kaidan wrapped a hand around himself to guide his length through her wet folds. He coated himself in her arousal and began to rut his hips forward in short little movements; using himself to rub against clit over and over again.
Shepard slowly began to understand his intent, she whimpered each time he slowly rubbed himself against her, she shot Kaidan a look she hoped was a glare but she couldn’t help but release a shaky moan as he teased himself through her folds, he pushed just the tip inside only to pull it out again and continue to thrust his hips against her clit.
“God damn it-” She was about to chew him out for teasing her but her words cut off with a heady moan as he finally slammed inside with one heavy thrust. Kaidan gripped the leg he held up at the knee and braced himself against her other thigh as he set a brutal pace. His hips slammed forward decisively, and forced choked moans from Shepard’s throat due to the sheer power of his thrusts. He tilted his head to kiss the inside of her calf while fucking her into the couch hard enough that she could feel the metal bars beneath the cushion against her back.
“Oh fuck Kaidan-!” His grip didn’t leave her much leeway to move, she couldn’t touch him like this besides uselessly pawing at his abdomen. She felt completely at his mercy and.. Shepard didn’t hate it.
She whimpered as he dropped her leg in favor of covering her body with his, bending her with both legs over his shoulders. The new position forced his cock impossibly deeper and the room became filled with the noise of skin against skin and their combined moans. Kaidan groaned into her shoulder, Shepard loved the way he sounded. He usually was pretty reserved in bed.. but right now he did nothing to mask his pleasure. He fucked her in a way that she knew she’d be feeling it for a while afterward.
Shepard soon found herself cresting again, she dug her nails into his shoulders causing him to lift his head and pull her into a sloppy kiss. She groaned against his lips, barely able to kiss back. She raked her nails down his back with a shout, her body tightened around him as she spasmed, wave after wave of electrifying and exhausting pleasure raked through her and Kaidan only managed a few heavy thrusts before he too was seizing up with a muffled groan as he hid his face in her neck once more.
Shepard whimpered as felt him throb and pulse inside of her, the aftershocks of her own orgasm still raked through her body with little jolts. Kaidan weakly thrust in response to the way her walls fluttered around him.
“..You should let me do that more often.” Kaidan wiped his brow and slowly eased himself out of her, raising himself on his palms to sit up. He realized he might be crushing her and being folded in half was probably uncomfortable for Shepard.
“Mm.. keep making me come like that and I just might.” Her legs shook as she laid them across his lap, Kaidan sunk against the back of the couch still breathing hard. He ran a palm from her breasts to her stomach, just enjoying the feel of her skin.
“I didn’t care earlier but now I’m a little peeved we have to go upstairs to cuddle.” Shepard’s legs felt like jelly, she did not want to move much less go up to their bedroom.
“Well, lucky for you this place has a ridiculous amount of beds.”
“Mm.. I don’t think we’ve christened any of the downstairs rooms yet.” She spoke with a wink, “We’ve only got one more day of shore leave we have to make it count.”
“You’re insatiable.” Kaidan pushed her hips to the side to spank her ass with a playful swat. Shepard only giggled in response.
“That all you got Major?”
He responded with another spank, this time harder. “How about we order breakfast and later I can show you-“ He air quoted with his fingers, “-what I got.”
Shepard’s eyes widened, both at Kaidan’s promise and also the fact that they somehow forgot to eat anything. That was sort of unheard of for two biotics.
“Well, I guess we’ll have to hurry up and eat so I can see if you’ll make good on your promise then.”
She sat up in order to kiss him, but before she did, she took notice that his briefs that were still bunched low on his thighs. Shepard snapped the elastic with a snort.
“Couldn’t even get your underwear off huh?”
“I had priorities, Shepard.” Kaidan laughed as well, realizing the ridiculousness of the situation. He'd meant to take things slow, but.. he supposed he had a few more hours of shore leave to make good on the original plan.