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"Wait, why haven't you started your... you know... recording and evil monologuing? What are you even doing over there?"
Megamind cackles from his high-backed evil chair across the room, occupied with something as he remains turned from her. "Shh, trust the process, Miss Ritchi."
"'The process'...? Please tell me that 'the process' doesn't include you sitting over there touching yourself."
Megamind kicks a foot to the ground and slowly turns his chair around, holding a cell phone in his hand and giving her an amused look with feigned disgust. "You wish."
"Not a chance."
"Dirty minx."
"Idiot overlord. Wait- What the hell are you doing with my phone?!"
"Evil."
"Excuse me? That's mine!"
"I regret to inform you that this is a part of the process."
"Going through my phone?! That's a disgusting invasion of privacy!"
"You get a lot of friend requests on this book of faces, I'm quite impressed."
"Book of-... Don't you dare accept those!"
"Mua ha ha haaa~"
"I'm serious! Give that back!"
"When I'm well and done, Miss Ritchi."
"If I get that back and see even a single person added to my friends..."
"Complain, complain, complain..." Megamind gripes, passively offering her phone over for Minion to take away, as if bored with both it and her. "Fine, you're lucky I'm bored. But that dressing room picture with the purple laced dress? It looks good on you, you should go back for that one."
She glares. "Only if I get to wring it around your skinny neck."
"Promise?"
-
Roxanne later abandons her phone on the counter and opens up her laptop, trying to figure out what the hell he'd done. Thankfully, he didn't add anybody at all, but she didn't trust him to be fully innocent if he was going to be bold enough to snoop through her things right in front of her. He had to of done something.
That's when she noticed her notifications liking a status, along with the many "congratulations!" from her friends and family.
"What did he-..."
Her status had been updated with "Taken" followed by a heart emoji. She deadpanned and stared at it for a moment.
She makes a new status update, with "Returned" followed by an angry face emoji. Her friends can connect the dots. She doesn't care right now.
Roxanne slams the laptop closed and hisses under her breath. "Ass." She makes a mental note to change the background image of her phone to one of those lewd calendar pinups of Metro Man before the next kidnapping. If he's going to go through her things, then he can get an uncomfortable surprise next time.