Chapter Text
Rhett sat at the GMM desk, typing steadily on his laptop. The studio had emptied long ago and the only noise came from the air con over head and the rhythmic tapping of his fingers on the keyboard.
He was doing research for tomorrows GMM, it was his turn to find a suitable subject and think of questions he could ask Link. It took him just over an hour to find all the information he would need and to compile it in a way so Link wouldn’t glimpse the answerers on his screen. He saved the document and emailed it to himself at home, it’d save taking the laptop back and forth. He checked his inbox, deleting various offers and coupons that had expired long ago and sighed, cracking his fingers loudly.
The laptop pinged, he’d gotten a new email, he peered at the address, eyebrow raised. He didn’t recognize it.
Cautiously he opened the email, it was only a paragraph or so long but there was a huge file attached too.
He read several lines, recognizing Link’s writing style immediately, but it was in first person, and it read like a diary.... the short paragraph had a heading:
Date Of Entry 03/15/2006
I had the strangest feeling wash over me when I woke up today, like I was floating through someone else’s life. I’d spent the night in front of my computer, in a hotel room. I needed time to think, to get myself together. It didn’t work out the way I’d planned.
It had started off with just research, self help sites and anonymous forums where I could ask my questions. But I ended up on some dirty site, watching two men grope each other, kiss and more. I know I’m not gay, I can’t be. But bisexual was never out of the question.
I watched those videos for a long time, glad I was by myself in the room. It felt strange, watching two men while jerking off, it made me think of Rhett.
Rhett stopped reading, eyes wide and heart pounding. His mind was racing out of control with thoughts of Link watching gay porn and getting turned on. He took several deep breaths and checked the email address that had sent him this. It was a mix of random letters and numbers as far as he could tell, untraceable.
The pieces fell together slowly. Back in 2008 Link’s laptop had been stolen while they were out on a shoot in Washington. The thief had taken it from the car, in the bag had been Link’s passport, wallet and charger. He’d complained for months about that, and the fact that his journal had been on that laptop. Rhett distinctly recalled the words “my deepest secrets were in that journal”.
Shit. He wasn’t kidding. Rhett swallowed and wondered who had found the journal, who had emailed it to him, weather it was in fact the same journal that Link had typed all those years ago.
He quickly clicked the attached document and watched it load.
When it opened Rhett confirmed his fears: it was Link,s entire journal. Starting in ‘01 and coming to an abrupt halt two days before the laptop had been taken.
Rhett was torn. He knew he shouldn’t read any more, he should phone Link and tell him.
But his eyes were drawn to another entry, it began with his name.
08/20/2007
Rhett and I shared a bed last night, we didn’t have the cash for separate beds, let alone rooms. He stared at me for ages and piled pillows between us on the bed. I think he knows. It didn’t help that the room was boiling, so I kicked off my covers and tried to sleep as quickly as I could. I dreamt about sex again,, woke myself up and had to sneak to the bathroom. I felt disgusting.
Rhett remembered that night, not vividly but well enough to know what Link had meant.
He’d been about to doze off when Link started shifting against the mattress, making quiet, desperate, noises into his pillow. Rhett had figured he was dreaming about his wife and tried to block out the sounds, squeezing his eyes shut. After a few moments Link padded to the bathroom, staying as quiet as he could. Rhett drifted off as his best friend locked the door and bought himself off.
He shook his head, ridding himself of the image like an Etch a Sketch and kept reading.
I don’t think Rhett woke up, he sleeps pretty deep. So I locked myself in the bathroom. I thought about him, the dream was about him. I said his name when I came, saw his face behind closed eyes. What’s wrong with me?
Rhett stopped reading. There were other entries, more detailed from what he’d glanced at but he didn’t want to know more. He had a mental image of the dark haired man with his hand on himself, stifling moans against the seedy motel bathroom wall, throwing his head back and groaning Rhett’s name through gritted teeth as he came.
Rhett blinked and bought himself back to the studio. The room was darker than before, it was getting late. The air con still hummed, Rhett swallowed thickly, glancing around, as though looking for someone who could judge him for reading this. He shifted in the chair, he was judging himself enough.
He clenched his fists on the white keyboard, staring blankly through the screen. These entries were roughly ten years old, what if Link still felt like this? Was he still keeping this secret?
Rhett quickly saved the attached journal to his documents, logging out of the email and thinking back to ‘06. Had Link been acting strangely? Probably. But Rhett was too big a jerk to notice at the time. He had his own life after all.
Rhett vaguely remembered how distant Link had been back then, maybe a little more clumsy too?
There was a strange moment that had passed between them at one point, on his birthday. He scrolled through the journal, looking for a certain date. There!
10/11/2007
Rhett and I went out last night. We don’t do it often, but we were celebrating his birthday. It’s been getting easier to not think about that lately, but being with him and getting drunk was difficult. We were stood at the bar, looking out across the dance floor and chatting about the music. He’d turned to me and winked, leaning in. He asked if I wanted to dance. I think there was something in my expression, he could tell. He turned it into one of his jokes but I’d gone red and downed the rest of my beer. We didn’t talk much after that, Rhett went home and left me to catch a cab. I headed straight for the motel instead.
Rhett remembered doing that, barely. He’d been pretty out of it by that point and Link looked so good in his tight skinnies and tee. He’d meant it as a joke at the time. He also remembered getting a phone call from Link’s wife early that morning, asking if Link was still with him. He’d said yes, that they’d spent the night at a friends. He wasn’t sure why he’d lied. He guessed it was just deeply programmed to watch his best friends back. When he’d rang Link and confronted him Link just said that he needed to spend time alone, Rhett didn’t press further.
His train of thought was derailed by the sound of the studio door clicking open. He slammed the laptop shut and stood quickly, acting like he was packing up.
“Rhett? What’re you still doing here?” Link’s voice echoed around the studio as he walked into the room, smiling.
Rhett stared, frozen like a deer in headlights. Images of Link touching himself and moaning filled his head. He took a step back, almost tripping on cables.
“I was-” His voice cracked, he cleared his throat. “I was doin’ research for tomorrow...”
Link tilted his head, raising an eyebrow.
“And you just finished? Gosh....” Link checked his phone. “Well I hope it’ll be worth it tomorrow! I’ll help you pack...” He grinned and picked up Rhett’s laptop, putting it in the bag.
Rhett watched with horror, imagining what Link would say if he only knew about the journal, but Link didn’t even give the laptop another thought.
“Yeah, it’ll be awesome, trust me.” Rhett found his confidence and, deciding it would be better if Link didn’t know any of the details, he shrugged his coat on. “I’m starvin’....why’d you come back anyway? Wanted some alone time?” Rhett teased before his brain caught up with what he’d said.
Link stared at him for a moment, swallowing and laughing it off. “No... I forgot my wallet....” He admitted sheepishly.
Rhett sighed, feeling his cheeks tint red. “Fair play...” He got his things together and headed for the door as Link grabbed his wallet from a desk draw.
“You wanna get some food?” He caught up with Rhett by the door, smiling brightly.
“Heck yeah!” Rhett held the door for him and tried to keep his eyes away from Link’s ass, deciding that he’d need more time to study his friend’s journal before confronting him about it.
The door to the studio clicked shut behind them as the air con coughed once and shut off for the night.