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It was a calm night considering the world was ending in less than two weeks. No monsters, no pesky gods, no storm brewing overhead. It was nice, Percy decided, when there was a lack of impending doom in the air. He tore his gaze away from the stars to study the deck of the Argo II, only to find it lacking its usual inhabitants.
“Where is everybody?” Percy mumbled to himself.
Someone should be on look out. The apocalypse tended to be a bad time to let your guard down. Unless… was he the look out? Percy tried to recall the last conversation he had had, but came up blank. Before he could muster up a curse for whichever god or goddess had screwed with his memory this time, a dark figure caught his attention.
Nico di Angelo sat on the edge of the ship, his legs dangling over the side like a little kid. His face was calm, and Percy could tell his usual guarded façade was down. It was a good look on him—carefree. He wished the kid could appear this approachable more often—he might make a few more friends back at camp.
“Hey, Nico.”
Nico blinked at Percy’s appearance, but seemed otherwise unaffected. His eyes lingered for a moment more before the boy nodded and brought his attention back to the sea.
Internally, Percy sighed. So much of this kid was an enigma; he had given up on figuring him out a long time ago. But it wasn’t always this way. He remembered a time when he could read the boy like a book—a happy-go-lucky kid who wore his heart on his sleeve. Percy had taken that for granted, he realized. So much of Nico was a mystery now, and he knew he was partly to blame. He hadn’t exactly kept up with the son of Hades over the years, but damn it, Percy was making an effort here, and Nico seemed to want nothing to do with him.
Percy exhaled and tried again.
“So… what have you been up to?”
Smooth, Percy thought. Small talk was definitely not his area, and judging by the slight smirk on his face, Nico agreed.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
Percy opened his mouth to answer, but found a gaping hole right where his memory was supposed to be. He felt his face scrunch up as little pieces came back to him in the form of a giant statue of Annabeth’s mother.
“Wait,” Percy said, more to himself than to Nico. “You’re not supposed to be here.”
Nico snorted, but otherwise stayed quiet. After a moment he added, “I’m not.”
At the sight of Percy’s confused face, he rolled his eyes.
“You’re asleep. We both are.”
Percy blinked and muttered a very intelligent sounding ‘oh,’ because how else was someone supposed to respond to that?
“And you, uh, wander into people’s dreams often, do you?”
Nico shrugged. “I’ve always been good at manipulating dreams. It gets boring when you actually know you’re dreaming, so I tend to do a lot of… meandering.”
Percy briefly wondered why Nico would ever choose to ‘meander’ into his dream, and then Nico added, “You probably won’t even remember this conversation in the morning, knowing you.”
Percy ignored the lighthearted jab, instead choosing to consider the implications of that statement. “But you will?”
Nico’s smile dropped from his face. “Probably.”
Percy nodded his head noncommittally. He stood in silence for a few minutes, staring out into the night sky, and Nico did the same. It was odd, he thought, how easily the two could stand next to one another, completely at peace in the other’s presence. He wished it would happen more often. And suddenly, Percy knew exactly what he wanted to ask.
“Are we friends?”
The younger boy’s hand twitched, but he otherwise stayed completely still. He glared out over the water, but Percy had a feeling he wasn’t really looking.
“Why do you ask?”
“Because—“ Percy started with a grunt, annoyed at Nico’s obvious attempt at avoiding the question, before taking another breath. “Because I’d like to be.” When the boy’s expression stayed completely stoic, Percy continued. “I know I haven’t made the best effort in the past, but I’d like to make up for it. But I… I get that I might’ve missed my chance with you. If that’s the case, Nico, just tell me. I’ll back off.”
When Percy finally regarded the son of Hades again, he couldn’t help but stare. Nico’s jaw was set, hard. His eyebrows were furrowed. Percy realized he was trying not to cry, and for the hundredth time he just wished he knew what Nico wanted from him.
His voice was small, but not wavering, when he spoke again. “If you want to be.”
“If I—“ Percy nearly slapped himself in frustration. “Friendship isn’t a one-way street, Nico.”
Percy was trying, he really was, but the son of Poseidon wasn’t exactly known for his patience. Mystery and ambiguity never much held his interest, and both were things the son of Hades excelled at. At his wit’s end, Percy didn’t know what to do besides ask, “What do you want?”
Nico looked straight at him then, for the first time since the conversation began, and the pain in his eyes was so evident that Percy lost all ability to form cohesive thought. The intensity of it—sadness, shame, anger—rolled off him in waves so tangible it made him shiver. Slowly, the pain melted off into resignation, and the boy refocused his attention to the sea.
“It’s time to wake up.”
“I—what?”
“I said,” it was Annabeth’s voice now, sounding both amused and irritated at the same time, “it’s time to wake up, Percy.”
He blinked, and in an instant he was in his bed on Argo II, looking up at the blonde curls falling in his face. Rays of light beamed through the windows.
“Come on, Seaweed Brain. We’re here.”
Percy sat up in his bed. As he watched his girlfriend run out to wake the others, he rubbed the back of his head, feeling like he had just forgotten something important.
“Yeah,” he mumbled. “I’m coming.”
0o0o0o0o0o
Surprisingly enough, Percy did remember his conversation with Nico. Well, eventually. It started coming back to him as he watched the younger boy wander back across the hillside. Annabeth was beside him, giggling into her hand—and at him. She said he made a good impression of a fish with the way his mouth hung open. Annabeth tended to be right about these things, so he believed her.
After he got over the initial shock that confessions are inclined to create, Percy was faced with a nagging feeling of embarrassment. An annoying predicament in itself, considering he should be well accustomed to the feeling—he was Percy Jackson, after all. But this wasn’t just another exploding-toilets incident. It was a screw up that spanned well over a few years, and Percy wanted to smack himself over his stupidity.
Not that anyone should have expected him to figure it out on his own. It had taken him four years to piece together that Annabeth liked him. She had kissed Percy in a fiery death volcano, and he still hadn’t taken the hint. When it came to girls—or anyone else, he supposed—crushing on him, he tended to be a bit of a moron.
Still, it made him realize how insensitive he had been to Nico. After Bianca died, Percy simply chalked up the young boy’s actions as mourning; there was mourning, sure, but it was more than that, Percy knew now. Later, when Nico’s behavior took a turn for the worse, Percy stupidly began to write him off as some kind of token loner kid, as if his underwordly heritage somehow explained his dark demeanor. How many times had Nico pushed him away, only for Percy to shrug and think It must be a Hades thing.
As if anyone wanted to be alone.
As this realization began to settle, Percy became determined to talk to Nico. Too much had been left unsaid between the two demigods, and he was overcome by a need to make things right. He just… wasn’t sure how he was going to bring it up to the younger boy. Or what he was going to say to him. Or when he was going to say it.
He’d figure it out. Eventually. Probably.
In fact, Percy was formulating his genius, full-proof master plan when he ran into said son of Hades on his way back from a nightly campfire.
“Oh, hey, Nico.”
The other boy regarded him briefly before giving a silent nod. This feels familiar, Percy thought to himself with a sigh. Still, he trudged along the path next to Nico anyway, determined not to screw it up this time. It wasn’t even the first time they interacted since Nico’s bold admission. Well, if the uncomfortable and brief contact could be classified as ‘interaction.’ Percy mostly blundered awkwardly until Nico rolled his eyes and walked off. Which, really, wasn’t very different from right now.
Despite the confidence Nico displayed, Percy remembered their little dream chat. He remembered the how the boy’s face crumpled, how much sadness radiated off his small figure, and he knew what was hiding under the mask of conviction that Nico wore.
The two had been walking in silence for too long—the cabins were coming into view. Percy decided it was now or never.
“Are we friends?”
Nico shut his eyes and sighed, as if expecting the question, but continued walking anyway. Eventually he shrugged and said, “if you want to be.”
“I said it before and I’ll say it again, Nico. Friendship isn’t a one-way street.” He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Look. I know that, when I last asked, I didn’t fully… understand you.” Nico cringed, but Percy kept going. “I’m sorry I’ve been an idiot for so long. I’m trying to make up for it. But I get the feeling you have a few things you want to say to me first.”
Percy laid his hand on Nico’s shoulder, affectively stopping them both. He turned until he was looking straight at the younger boy.
“Say them. Say the things you never got to say to me, ‘cause I was too much of an idiot to listen.”
It was then that the bravado broke. Percy watched as years of barricades crumbled to the ground around the younger boy. Nico’s breathing picked up pace, and Percy mentally prepared himself for the imminent emotional—and possibly physical—onslaught.
“You act like it was up to me.”
His hands were clenched at his sides in a failing attempt at calming himself, and Percy had half a mind to remove his hand for his shoulder.
“You, Jason, you all act as if I’m the reason I don’t have friends. As if it was ever up to me.” Percy opened his mouth to protest, but Nico cut him off. “Do you have any idea how hard I tried, Percy? How many times I struggled to prove myself to you—to everyone.” A strangled choke of a laugh escaped his lips. “I got pretty desperate, didn’t I? ‘I’ll take him for a swim in the River Styx, that’ll make him love me.’”
Percy cringed and swallowed hard. “Nico—“
“I didn’t even need you to… to like me like that. I just wanted your respect. That’s all I wanted.” His voice became quiet, as if he were talking to himself. “That’s all I wanted.”
Percy squeezed his eyes shut.
“You should have told me.”
There was a smile on his face, but it held no humor. “After so many rejections, Percy, you learn to stop trying.”
They were quiet for a long time. There were campers off in the distance, but no one interrupted them. Percy didn’t know if it was a coincidence or if they were actively avoiding them, but he was grateful either way. After a brief desire to run away, he shook it off. He owed this kid too much.
“You’re going to have to teach me, then.”
Nico looked up at him warily. “What?”
“To stop trying. You’ll have to teach me how, ‘cause I’m not going to stop trying to be your friend.”
Nico looked resigned. “Percy—“
“You can reject me as many times as you want. But I’m not gonna stop trying.” Percy looked straight at him, determined. “I’ve made that mistake too many times already to let it happen again.”
They younger boy looked away, obviously unsure, and Percy began to panic. Before he knew it, he was blurting out, “a movie marathon!”
Nico gave him a look that seemed to say ‘This is it. This is the day that Percy Jackson completely lost his mind.’
Not one to let deadpanned stares stop him, Percy kept rambling. “You missed like, a century, right? I mean, Disney movies—those things are gold, man. And the Harry Potter series!” Percy crossed his arms over his chest, nodding in approval at his own plan. “It’ll be your initiation into the twentieth century.”
“…It’s the twenty-first century, Percy.”
Said boy waved his hand in the air dismissively. “Whatever, same thing.”
The whole time, Nico had been watching him hesitantly. Percy wondered briefly if he was going overboard, but that was generally his approach at everything in life, and he wasn’t dead yet, so.
He nodded again, as if the plans were set. “It’s a date, then.” As soon as the words fell out of his mouth, Percy stuttered. “I mean—not like… I’m not—“ he waved his hands spastically in a disarming manner. “Not that there’s anything wrong with—Ugh, gods.”
When Percy chanced a glance, certain that he had just sent Nico running to the underworld for the next ten years, he found the boy shaking in barely contained laughter.
“You’re an idiot.”
Percy sighed. “I’m aware.”
Nico paused, regarding the son of Poseidon cautiously, as if trying to make a decision.
“Okay.”
Percy blinked. “…Okay?”
The younger boy nodded. “Tomorrow at six. Don’t be late.”
Percy grinned and gave a salute. Nico rolled his eyes, but Percy could see a smirk playing on his lips. As the younger boy began to turn away, a thought came to Percy.
“You have it,” he called out. “My respect. It might not mean much to you anymore, but… you have it, Nico.”
Nico smiled then—a smile Percy hadn’t seen in years. He feared he’d never see it again, but there it was. If he had known it would only take a few words to bring back the happy-go-lucky kid who wore his heart on his sleeve, Percy would have said them a long time ago.
As Percy made his way to his cabin, a grin plastered on his face, he wondered where in Hades he would find a copy of The Little Mermaid by tomorrow night.