Chapter Text
=> Reader: be the troll standing in her room.
The Siliconian Index of Latitudial Longetudian Interiorsheres adapter, or SILLI, has allowed you to access the internet across time and space and effectively eliminated the need to leave your hive for the past sweep and a half.
That’s all well and good with you, considering that you didn’t especially like going out to begin with but that sort of character specific exposition is not here nor there and serves no purpose to the plot of this carnal but common expedition you’re about to embark on.
This has become such a regular occurrence for you that it could happen at almost any point in your daily life and you’re sure it could happen to anyone with a SILLI--well, perhaps not anyone, you’re sort of a freak (no offense) and it’d be too trifling of a task to ever whittle away your features to reduce you into some sort of generic reader-insert-otome heroine.
=> Be offended.
You cross your arms, seemingly insulted by the narration and irate that you are not being given more exposition. You feel that you are a unique and interesting character and given the chance surely an audience would love you, but little do you realize that your peanut gallery is here to use you solely as a medium through which to project themselves for the purpose of sexual gratification and wish fulfillment.
They don’t want to be you and they don’t have to like you, they just want to imagine themselves in your place. In that sense, you are little more than a sex object. Hate to break it to you. Nothing personal, kid.
And look, you don’t work as a visual novel heroine because they aren’t supposed to enjoy those nightmarish bad end scenarios that involve getting gored, stabbed with a sword, or possibly even vored.
=> Uuuum, but those are the best parts...
Anyway, it is suggested that you light up your troll weed-I mean, hazygrass--and sit your ass at your laptop so we can get this show on the road.
The sooner you do, the sooner everyone will get off, so hop to it.
You fetch your baggie of hazygrass, a premium violet kush, from your desk drawer and load up a generous pinch into your pyro-inhalifier to light with your firestick.
With a flick of your thumb, you’ve got that green lit and you’re inhaling the THC like a vacuum.
Immediately your head and body gain that floaty but relaxed sort of feeling that can only be experienced when blazed. Following is a violent coughing fit that is not attractive or desirable, so you best get that out of your system now. No one likes to imagine hacking up their lungs except cough fetishists, which are too slim in number to worry about.
=> Be high and horny.
Now that you are properly lit the fuck up, a casual lust overshadows your thoughts. You clickety clackety away on your keyboard while entering the coordinates on your SILLI to access that website.
The Plush Rump smuppets, in all of their jiggling toy butt glory, dance across your screen as you clumsily enter in some payment information in the form of cryptocurrency with one hand and reach into your desk drawer with the other to fish out your XXXL Vibratatron with Hare Humping Speed™.
This site has made a small fortune from your purchasing puppet pornography.
Seriously, you can’t just pirate this stuff?
The legally obtained video begins playing and overtakes your monitor, displaying both a red and a blue smuppet making out with one another with a few inches of the controller’s arms visible on either side of the camera.
A low, gruff and distinctly male voice comes into focus.
You raise the speakers to maximum volume..
The voice groans, uncannily convincing that he’s aroused by his own pro puppet skills.
“Yeah, you like that don’t you?”
A shiver drips down your spine. Oh, yes . This is why you invest your cold hard cash.
Not only do these strange stuffed creatures get your panties all manner of twisted but it’s the cameraman that really does it for you.
Whatever he is being paid, it is not enough and he deserves a raise immediately.
You’ve only caught partial glimpses of him here and there in the uncut deleted scenes you’ve purchased, but he’s a creature with dark mysterious shades and golden hair.
Such a fine specimen and your lust for him knows no bounds.
What you would give to be a subject in these indie pornos with him.