Archive of Our Own

Children can be a lot of things. They can be overly enthusiastic. They can be mean, rude and taunt other kids for no reason. They can be shockingly straightforward, no care in the world of the harmful effect of their words.

Children can be thoughtful. Children can stand in front of other children and shield them from bullies their age. Children can stand up and dust their shorts as if they hadn’t been pushed down to the ground one moment ago.

Children can also be dumb.

They can be dumb and do dumb things, just like little Katsuki did.

He still remembered the moment almost vividly. It was one of Katsuki’s earliest memories. They were in Katsuki’s backyard, lying on their backs, staring at the orange sky. Their other friends had already gone home. Deku―still Izuku to Katsuki then―was waiting for Inko to pick him up.

They were sprawled on the grass, arms outstretched, nearly touching. Silence fell upon them as they caught their respective breaths after playing tag.

Deku broke it first. “Kacchan,” he called out. The blond gave a grunt in response.

“We’re friends forever, promise?”

Dumbass, young Katsuki, who didn’t know better, had said yes.

To be perfectly honest, that was far from being the only dumb thing Katsuki had done. He bullied his childhood friend for years after the stupid godforsaken river incident. He shunned him out. Seeing Deku’s freckled face used to irritate him for reasons unknown to anyone. Katsuki pushed him around, provoked the other kids to make fun of their quirkless classmate. Even so, he searched for the green-haired boy’s dumb, wide eyes first thing every morning he stepped into class. He still silently kept him at arm’s length, but not having the nerd’s eyes on him felt suffocatingly alien.

Then Deku got a quirk. The betrayal that Katsuki felt was astronomical. He spent his early days at UA with thoughts that tortured him day and night. Humiliation. Anger. Irritation. Fear. Feeling Deku’s presence behind him every day was pissing him off.

They fought. Against each other. Fought together. Katsuki got kidnapped, Deku's dumb ass went to rescue him. Deku received his provisional hero license, Katsuki didn’t.

And they fought again. That fight was the beginning of the unraveling of their complex past. Katsuki learned the truth about Deku’s quirk, about All Might. Above all, Katsuki learned the truth about Deku.

They got closer from that point onward, although Katsuki was adamant on not admitting it at first. All Might invited Katsuki to join Deku on their routine discussion and training sessions. Katsuki helped Deku, in a silent means of atonement.

And then their battle against Shigaraki and All For One happened. Katsuki had pushed Deku out of death’s reach and took his place instead―hell, he still had the twin scars on his shoulder and abdomen until now. It served as a personal reminder for him. A reminder of what, he still had no idea.

Later in life, he guessed that maybe it was of his past idiocies and eternal regrets.

What he did know was that whenever he stripped and took a look in the mirror, those scars gazed back at him, and Deku occupied his entire mind every time without fail.

Their relationship got better with time, joint efforts of patching it up didn’t go unnoticed. Katsuki knew that he cherished it, and he also knew that the same goes for Deku, if the grateful sparks in his eyes whenever Katsuki would turn to him only to find the other man already staring at him were anything to go by.

Katsuki would even go as far as calling Deku a friend. Deku burst into tears and nearly flooded All Might’s office when he first said it out loud.

It wasn’t until their third, final year in UA that it hit Katsuki like a brick.

The thing that preceded the epiphany was nothing eventful. It was just a normal, boring afternoon in the common room. Everyone was scattered around the place. Katsuki, personally, was waiting until the clock hit 6 which would indicate the time for him and Deku to head to the gym for their biweekly spar.

Katsuki let his gaze roam across every piece of furniture in boredom. The faces of his classmates that he had got accustomed to no longer phased him, not that they did to begin with, and not much could be gained from staring at them anyway. His eyes fell on the far corner of the room where he spotted Deku chatting excitedly with Shouji, hands flying around every now and then.

Then suddenly Deku threw his head back in laughter, and Katsuki’s entire world stopped.

Time was momentarily frozen and he knew. He just knew.

Katsuki wasn’t a clueless idiot. He knew what people would usually do after having that kind of discovery. Start making plans of wooing, courting, buying flowers and gifts in an attempt to win the subject of their infatuation's heart, all that kind of shit. But he and Deku were never usual. They’d always been different. Normal didn’t apply to them.

So Katsuki stayed in his place and did nothing. He wouldn’t do anything.

He shouldn’t.

Not after everything he had done to Deku throughout the years they’d known each other.

One Sunday night, Deku barged into Katsuki’s room and dragged him down the stairs so that the two of them could watch a movie together. Katsuki was not opposed to the idea, although he put up a reluctant front at first, if only to maintain his reputation.

Katsuki grabbed the remote and flicked through the selections, Deku’s head on his lap as per usual. It still baffled him how engaging with the shorter boy on a daily basis could drive up his tolerance for physical contact up, up, up, to the point where he actually craved it.

Deku was scrolling through his phone, looking at some pro-hero’s information sheets. He tilted his screen upward occasionally to show Katsuki gauntlet designs that he found interesting while the blond hummed in agreement or snickered in disapproval.

“Deku, the movie’s starting,” he said, bouncing his right leg a little, trying to capture the other man’s attention. Deku made a low noise in his throat distractedly, which he expertly translated to “in a minute”.

Out of the corner of his eyes he noticed Todoroki taking a seat on the other couch but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Instead, he directed his eyes to the source of heat on his lap. Deku’s eyes were squinted as he probably tried to read the small texts on the screen. The light from the phone gave his irises a lighter shade of green.

Katsuki felt a pair of eyes boring into the side of his skull so he snapped his head towards the walking dispenser and fixed him with a glare. He was about to tell him to fuck off when he noticed that Todoroki’s two-colored eyes were filled with something akin to… sympathy.

Red, fiery eyes narrowed at the other man in disgust and challenge.

He cornered Todoroki the very next day in the school halls, just outside 3-A’s homeroom.

“What the fuck was your deal, huh?” he growled.

Katsuki half-expected Todoroki to shoot him with a confused look and a question, but he didn’t get either of those.

The sympathetic look was back to his eyes, and Katsuki decided then and there that he hated it.

“You got it bad, huh,” Todoroki said, a statement being put out into the open air. Katsuki’s brain momentarily halted before it went back to life in anger.

“What the fuck.”

The two-toned-haired boy sighed, putting a hand on Katsuki’s chest and pushed him a little to create some space between them.

“Just…” he began, “this is probably not my place to say, but…” Another sigh. “I think you should tell him.”

Katsuki released his hold on one of Todoroki’s shoulders in surprise before he looked away, face twisting into a scowl. Half ’n Half fucking knew.

“And I think you should mind your own fucking business,” he spat, deciding that it was no use to deny it to Todoroki.

Todoroki fixed him with a stern gaze. “Bakugou.”

“You don’t understand shit, Icy Hot.”

The other man stayed silent at that, so he continued.

“I can’t. You fucking know I can’t.” Katsuki gritted his teeth. “Not after all the clusterfuck mess I’ve done. I…” he paused and took a staggering breath. “What we have now is enough.”

This time, one of Todoroki’s eyebrows raised up. “Are you sure?”

Katsuki threw him a dirty look. “Fuck you. Of course I am. He’s… him.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Those words took the explosive man aback. “What?”

He raised his head and searched for a pair of heterochromatic eyes, but Todoroki wasn't even looking at him. He was already staring into the classroom and at Deku who was talking animatedly to Uraraka in front of the teacher’s desk with a suppressed emotion.

“Not anymore though. Calm your tits, Bakugou,” he said drily and released himself out of Katsuki’s grip and walked away, but not before giving him two sympathetic pats on the back that pissed Katsuki off to no end.

When Todoroki arrived at the doorway, he stopped to look behind his shoulder and said, “I still think you should do it,” before making his way inside.

Katsuki snarled.

"It's called pecs, Icy Hot!" he roared at his classmate's retreating back instead.

The pair of rising heroes decided to celebrate their first year of being a Pro at the izakaya three blocks from their agency. Technically, they just got out of their unofficial status of “pro in training” like, a month ago, when they were finally allowed to take solo missions without being under supervision. It was exactly one year after graduation and they had so, so many new things learned since then. It’s true what they all said, years of hero education was nothing compared to the actual job.

Katsuki propped his chin in his palm, craning his head and torso a little to the left to better stare at his partner. Yes, partner. Katsuki and Izuku weren’t necessarily a hero duo per se, but they were almost always paired together in battles and, well, the blond could definitely admit to himself that they did indeed work very well together. After their tag team fight during their last Sports Festival in third year inspired agencies all across Japan, it was no surprise they were quite literally drowning in offer letters by the time they were allowed to determine where they’d head to after high school.

Izuku was well on his way to his third glass, eyes starting to grow glassy underneath the poor lighting of the small place. Katsuki liked it there. It wasn’t as rowdy as the other bars that their group of friends usually frequented. He knew Izuku preferred the larger one at the other side of the city, which was why Katsuki got fairly astonished when the ninth OFA holder proposed that particular izakaya as their place of celebration for the night.

“Take a picture, it might last longer,” Izuku lazily grinned without even turning to look at the other man. Katsuki scoffed. He would’ve blushed if he wasn’t already tipsy.

“Shut up,” he opted to say instead, downing the rest of his own glass before raising it up at the bartender, signalling for more. “I was just thinking.”

“Oh?” If Izuku was a bunny, Katsuki would bet that his ears were perking up and high. “The great and mighty Dynamight is thinking something. Care to share with the audience?”

“About how stupid your freckles look. Ugly.”

Izuku rolled his eyes in good humor. Both of them knew that was a lie. Whatever.

They drank some more, talking about their recent missions, about their classmates who were by then already scattered to different parts of the country and some even abroad (Izuku was the one who talked for most of that topic since he knew their old classmates’ whereabouts better than Katsuki ever will. Not that Katsuki didn’t care, he just didn’t have that much of an energy to check upon each and every one of them. He knew they’re capable of taking care of themselves anyway, three years spent together proving it true). Katsuki basked in the calming atmosphere, the little sounds in the izakaya serving as white noises to Izuku’s calming voice.

He was fairly thankful that Izuku and his personality could always lead the conversation because then he could have an excuse to look at the man and his annoyingly captivating viridian eyes. He wondered briefly, as Izuku drunk-rambled about his neighbor’s bad habit of leaving trash right beside his door, when exactly did he start to refer to Izuku as Izuku rather than Deku whenever he thought about him.

Shit, did that mean he thought about him often? Fuck everything to hell. Katsuki had softened and he fucking hated it.

It took him a while to notice that Izuku was no longer talking and both of them were instead involved in what might seem to outsiders as a staring match.

“What?” Katsuki barked, hoping the pink on his cheeks as he got caught red-handed could be blamed on the alcohol in his system.

Izuku kept staring at him, his wet lips parted a little while he breathed softly through his mouth. He had his head on the table, pillowed only by his forearms folded underneath his cheek.

Katsuki thought, god I want to kiss him.

“Aren’t you ever gonna…” his childhood friend spoke suddenly, breaking his thoughts. His voice was low, almost melancholic, nearly drowned by the sound of the bartender cleaning glasses. Katsuki was glad he didn’t take off his aids otherwise he wouldn’t be able to catch it.

He wondered what the rest of the sentence might possibly be.

Katsuki cocked his head to the side, one eyebrow arched up, hopefully successful in making Izuku finish what he was about to say.

Izuku still had his eyes on Katsuki's face, a little unfocused due to the glasses of beer, flitting in what Katsuki knew as a nervous habit. What was the nerd even nervous about? This was Katsuki he was talking to, for fuck's sake.

The weird tension between them dragged on for an excruciatingly short moment before Izuku sighed and dropped his forehead down into the crook of his elbow.

"Nevermind," the younger hero said hoarsely, and Katsuki's heart jumped to his throat. He immediately felt like he just did something terribly wrong.

He didn't get a chance to atone for his unknown mistake, however, since Izuku started snoring not long after.

"Kacchan!"

The shout was followed with the sound of Katsuki's front door hitting the wall, wincing slightly when he heard his neighbor exclaim a warning angrily from between their divider.

"Sorry," Izuku hissed, lower this time. He shut the door in a much gentler manner before locking it with the keys Katsuki gave him one and a half years ago. "Kacchan, where are you?"

"Kitchen," Katsuki answered curtly, still dabbing on the spilled tea on his counter. He picked up the sound of Izuku putting his shoes on the genkan, and it wasn't long before his footsteps approached the dining area.

"Kacchan," Izuku called out again. This time, The hint of excitement in his voice made Katsuki abandon the task at hand and decided to finally turn around.

What greeted him was the sight of Izuku with a t-shirt tucked inside his pants and a fairly large duffel bag in his right hand.

"What the fuck is that?" Katsuki eyed the suspicious item with narrowed eyes.

Izuku was bouncing on the balls of his feet as he walked back to the living room, Katsuki following suit. Izuku put the bag down on the sofa and began to unzip it.

The creases between Katsuki's eyebrows grew in number as he witnessed Izuku pulling out what seemed to be the content of his entire wardrobe.

"Deku, what the hell are you doing," he demanded with his hands on his hips. He didn't care that he currently looked like a step-mom scolding her daughter in cartoon movies, because Izuku was still mute and the sound occupying the apartment was the rustling of his clothes.

When the bag was empty at last and Katsuki's entire living room looked like a fashion store disaster, Izuku turned to look at the owner of the place and copied Katsuki's stance.

"Kacchan," he repeated for the nth time for the last 5 minutes. "Dress me up."

The explosive hero's brain halted it's activity for a good ten seconds while he tried to decipher the meaning behind Izuku's words.

"What," he finally said intelligently.

Izuku huffed, frustrated. "Come on, Kacchan! I don't have much time!" he whined. "This is entirely my fault though for not coming here sooner, like for example, yesterday. I mean, I think it was justified because I was just so excited and maybe a bit nervous, okay scratch that, a lot nervous but hey, you can't really blame me, though, because in my defense- bwuh."

Katsuki smushed the green-haired little shit's cheeks between his grip to get him to stop rambling.

"Deku. Izuku. Slow the fuck down. What did you mean by dress you up?"

Izuku sighed and pried Katsuki's fingers off his face. "I want to ask you a favor."

A brow raised, a go on signal.

"Please choose an outfit for me!" And Izuku was back to his excited-slash-anxious squealing. It was amusing to see a man covered in hard muscles jumping up and down like a puppy, eyes shining not unlike one, grabbing Katsuki's arms tightly in a plea. "Pretty pleaseeee, Kacchan, you know my fashion taste is shit!"

Izuku was right, and usually Katsuki would snicker at his face and laugh in agreement, but the confusion at the request overwhelmed his desire to tease the other man.

Uneasiness suddenly settled down in his stomach.

Katsuki swallowed the saliva gathered in his mouth to relieve some of the suffocating tension. He cleared his throat instead when the motion failed to give the desired effect. His feet moved and began to steer around Izuku and headed towards the piles of clothing scattered all across his sofa, quickly flipping through the fabrics.

He made sure to pay extra attention to which shirts had acceptable decent patterns on them and which were a straight no-go to prevent his own mind from drifting into unwanted territory.

“How do you want to look?” he asked aloud, avoiding Izuku’s stare behind him. He heard Izuku scratch the back of his neck.

“I… I don’t really care, just, uhh, make me look nice? Presentable? I think? But! But not too nice that it’ll seem like I’m trying too hard! Like, nice enough that people will think I look like that on a daily basis, you know? Oh, and also, um…” Izuku paused, voice growing softer by the end of his ramble, “maybe, a bit… hot?”

Katsuki’s left eye twitched suddenly. He bit down on his inner cheek to keep his bubbling emotions at bay.

“Yeah, like anyone’s gonna find you sexy when you trip over your own foot,” he snorted as he held up a blue dress shirt with tiny whales on them. Definitely a no.

Izuku swatted at his shoulder. “You suck.”

Katsuki finally found a good quality navy button-up and a nice plain white V-necked t-shirt. He spared a glance at the man still standing in the middle of the room and saw that the black jeans he wore were okay. Alright, these should be good enough for a d-

Katsuki knew better than to let his thoughts continue.

He shoved the clothes onto Izuku’s chest, the other hero catching them in surprise and joyful eyes. “Wear these with your pants. Leave the shirt open.” Katsuki wasted no time in turning back around, beginning to tidy up Izuku’s things.

“You-You don’t have to do that, Kacchan! I’ll clean it all up before I leave!”

“Go,” he said with an air of finality. Izuku finally shut up and with a last bounce of his feet, he voiced his gratitude and ran to Katsuki’s room and closed the door. Katsuki kept himself busy by folding clothes.

A few minutes had passed before the door swung open again, revealing Izuku underneath the outfit Katsuki picked for him. The living room was a tad neater by then, all apparel safely tucked into the duffel bag.

Katsuki decided to turn around and drank in the sight before him. Izuku was standing nervously between him and the TV, hands wringing anxiously.

“How do I look?” the green-haired man asked almost shyly.

Instead of answering, Katsuki walked past him and into the bedroom. Izuku peeked curiously from the doorway but Katsuki decided to ignore him and took what he meant to take. He emerged from the room with one of his dog tags and an eyeliner stick. Izuku’s eyes sparkled when he saw the items.

“Go sit on the couch.” The man did so happily. Katsuki thrusted the tag into Izuku’s hand. “Wear that. It’ll make you look a bit like a badass.”

“What– Hey, I am a badass!” he squawked indignantly.

Katsuki rolled his eyes good naturedly. “Hearing you say that is the equivalent of seeing a bunny try to be intimidating. Now tilt your head up. Look at me.”

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because as soon as Izuku did as he was told, Katsuki had trouble breathing when those green orbs shone at him. He had to turn his eyes over to the barbells at the corner of the room to break their paralyzing effect. When he brought his gaze back to the man beneath him, Izuku had already slipped his eyes shut.

A hand came up to repeatedly give those freckled cheeks a light slap. “Oi, don’t close your eyes, dumbass. Now look down, but– No, that’s closing your eyes, Deku, I just said look down, goddammit– Fuck, don’t you understand Japane– There we go. Like that. Stay like that. Don’t blink, don’t shut your eyes, don’t even fucking breathe if necessary.”

Izuku grumbled but stayed still in his stance, eyelids lowered so that Katsuki could draw on them with ease. He opened the cap with his teeth and began to make two neat black lines just above Izuku’s eyelashes. When he was done, he took a step back, admiring his work.

“Open your eyes.”

Katsuki huffed out a proud breath as Izuku blinked his newly decorated pretty set of eyes. “Yeah, you look less like a nerd now. Ready to hoe your way around the streets of Tokyo.”

Izuku kicked Katsuki’s shin with more force than he probably intended and then scrambled to his feet, dashing back to Katsuki’s bedroom where he could admire his own appearance.

“Kacchan! Oh my god, I look stunning! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Izuku ran back to him after taking a look in the mirror and squeezed Katsuki in a brief, tight hug. “I’ll be going now, okay? Also, thanks for tidying my stuff up! You really are amazing, Kacchan, I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

Katsuki didn’t ask him where he was going or what he was going to do.

Instead, he simply walked Izuku out, holding his bag when the other was putting on his shoes. “Text me when you’re home.”

“Will do, Kacchan! Thank you again. Bye, wish me luck!”

And just like that, he disappeared down the hall, leaving Katsuki to nurse his throbbing chest.

He didn’t get a single text for the whole night.

Morning came and Katsuki forced his tired eyes open. He went about his usual routine, preparing breakfast, showering, starting the laundry before work, all those mundane shit that he found calming, if only to distract himself from the worry gnawing his insides. Just as he was about to leave, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

[Shitty Deku:] im aliveeee

[Shitty Deku:] sorry i didnt text last nkght

[Shitty Deku:] night

[Shitty Deku:] i overslept

[Shitty Deku:] sorryyyyy kacchan please dont be mad

[Me:] i don't care

[Me:] how did it go

[Shitty Deku:] it was uhhhhhhhh

[Shitty Deku:] hot

[Shitty Deku:] (,,><,,)

Katsuki’s heart constricted weirdly under his sternum. He changed the subject.

Izuku came back to his apartment two more times after that, each time asking for fashion advice. He tried to return Katsuki’s dog tag but Katsuki told him to keep it. He secretly wished Izuku would continue to wear them during his dates.

If only to pathetically ease his own mind into thinking that a part of him finally went on a date with his childhood friend.

The fourth time, Izuku no longer paid Katsuki a visit.

After all, he only knew that a fourth time even happened because Izuku posted a picture of a lake and two pairs of shoes to his social media.

They dated.

No, not Katsuki and Izuku.

If only that was the case. Would’ve made everything way easier, wouldn’t it? Heh.

But, no.

And Katsuki also learned that apparently Lover Boy was no longer a nameless face that frequented Katsuki's angry and jealous thoughts. He's Ono Whateverthefuck-his-given-name-was now.

He and Izuku met because of their mutual friend, Hatsume Mei. Ono worked with Hatsume as a chemist in her team. Izuku was one of Hatsume’s biggest clients. It’s like a match made in heaven.

Gag.

Katsuki couldn’t logically have a reason to downright hate the guy, though. Ono was actually a decent person from what Katsuki had seen of him on those rare days when he picked Izuku up from the agency, with an okay sense of humor and better taste in fashion than Izuku.

Oh, and Ono was quirkless too. A perfect pair for a perfect guy.

One time when Katsuki and Izuku got back to their office building after a whole day of kicking villains’ asses, Ono was already there in front of the massive sliding glass doors, waving his hand at the green-haired hero, a plastic bag of takeout in his hand. Izuku excitedly returned the gesture before running towards him at full speed, leaving Katsuki both metaphorically and literally in the dust. Katsuki watched them exchange words, and then Izuku adorably threw his head back in laughter.

I’ve made him laugh too, damn it. You’re not special.

He grumbled at the childish thought and shooed it away, deciding to step into the air-conditioned room instead.

Eh, whatever. Izuku looked way more vibrant and lively these days anyway.

Katsuki would get over him in time.

He didn’t.

His phone rang while he was vacuuming. He immediately knew it was Izuku because of the All Might theme song ringtone.

(Katsuki liked to think that he only customized Izuku’s ringtone because he didn’t want to miss on any important emergency assignments.)

He was about to bark out his usual “what?!” as a greeting but Izuku didn’t give him any chance to do so.

“Kacchan! I need you to come here quick!” Katsuki hastily leaned the vacuum on the wall and went to his training room to grab his costume suitcase, phone still in hand.

“What? What happened? Where the hell are you?” he yelled into the device, already heading to his front door.

“I’m at the mall. Just... get here, fast!”

Mall. Katsuki’s heart dropped to his feet. Was this another hostage situation? How big were the threats and the demands the criminals were making? His mind ran a mile a minute, weighing the possibilities and planning strategies. His stomach churned as he recounted Izuku’s stories about his encounter with Shigaraki at the mall all those years ago.

He didn’t bother to take the train or a taxi and propelled his way up above the buildings using his quirk.

When he arrived at the huge square right in front of the mall, Katsuki made a quick assessment of the situation. The faces of the people scattered all over the place didn’t indicate the presence of a threatening villain attack, but Katsuki wouldn’t let himself be fooled. They could have been hiding, preparing to launch whatever plan they had and maybe Izuku just happened to stumble upon it and needed backup.

Katsuki desperately wished it was the issue at hand instead of… something else more gruesome. Like Izuku being in grave danger, for example.

His entire train of thought halted to a stop when he spotted the very same green-haired bastard who had been occupying his mind the whole way from home, sitting beside the water fountain, a popsicle in his mouth. He was wearing his usual street attire, a graphic tee and shorts, his baby blue hoodie wrapped around the waist, cap failing to hide his obnoxious curls.

It took an impressive two seconds for Izuku to spot Katsuki, which was apparent when their eyes met and Izuku’s features lit up like a Christmas tree.

A “Kacchan” with two exclamation marks in the back, and Izuku was already striding to where Katsuki stood frozen and then stopped right in his personal space. ”You’re here already! That was fast.”

“What?! What’s wrong? Where’s the attack?” he asked quickly, craning his neck this way and that to see the situation.

Izuku finished his popsicle with a slurp and held the wet stick between his thumb and pointer finger. “Wha– What attack?” Realization dawned on him and Izuku’s eyes widened in disbelief. “No, you silly,” he hit Katsuki’s bicep lightly, but the muscle throbbed anyway. He tended to forget how to control his strength whenever he’s excited. “I was asking you to come here because I need someone to accompany me shopping for suits for next week’s Awards Gala. I mean,” Izuku peered curiously, finally glancing up and down at Katsuki's entire frame and pausing at the suitcase in hand, “unless you’re busy?”

Katsuki ran an exasperated hand down his face. This dumbass didn’t think of telling him that before he practically forced him to come here? He’s lucky Katsuki wasn’t actually busy (the dust in his place can wait for a few hours), and even if he was, it’s not like Katsuki wouldn’t drop everything down and go to him.

Todoroki’s words from years ago rang inside his head. Fuck, he really did got it bad.

“Why aren’t Ono with you?” He looked around, trying to find the nerd’s boyfriend among the crowd.

“Oh, he was, but then he got a call from work. Their new machine malfunctioned and the new interns were having a hard time putting out the fire. Mei’s still at that convention in France so he just had to go. He told me to ask for you though! So here we are,” Izuku said, ending the sentence with a smile. Katsuki tried not to let the hurt settle in when it dawned on him that he was now a backup plan.

He was also stunned thinking how Ono had so much faith in him while he didn’t even trust himself around Izuku. “Here I am,” he said with an eye-roll instead. “Let’s get going then. Also you owe me lunch.” Izuku let out a giggle that was definitely uncute. Fuck, who the fuck still giggle in their twenties?

“Sure, Kacchan.”

A few hours later, they were back at the square, a slip of receipt in Izuku’s pockets. The suit would be shipped to his place the next day. Katsuki saw Ono before Izuku did, standing beside a potted plant, eyes searching for something. He nudged the other hero with his elbow, jerking his chin at Ono’s general direction.

“Hey, baby,” Ono greeted Izuku when they were close enough to him and Izuku went to wrap him up in a brief hug. Ono didn’t miss the chance to lean down and kiss his shorter boyfriend on the forehead. Katsuki shifted his eyes to a fake tree behind them instead.

“Bakugou! Thanks for coming, dude. Sorry I had to leave so suddenly and left him to you,” Ono said with a slight laugh.

Oh, if only you left him for me for good.

“‘S nothing,” the blond shrugged, suitcase bouncing lightly in his grip. “He behaved well today, anyway.”

Ono laughed louder this time, arm slung around Izuku's shoulders while the green-haired man gaped at both of them in disbelief.

“You are conspiring with my best friend behind my back? Unbelievable, Tadashi-kun.” Katsuki tried not to visibly flinch at the choice of words.

Ono was still smiling when he turned his attention away from Izuku and to Katsuki instead. “Well, I guess we should get going now. I promised him I’ll make some udon tonight. Thank you so much for today, man. Talk to you later?” Katsuki raised his hand in response and in farewell.

“Bye, Kacchan! Next drinks are on me. See you tomorrow!”

Katsuki didn’t stay on his spot to see their retreating backs and went back to buy some food for dinner. He didn’t feel like cooking tonight.

Their next hangout didn’t happen soon enough, but well, beggars can’t be choosers, can they?

Both of them just took down a huge trafficking ring after months of sniffing and trailing what little crumbs of information they had. It was their first day off in a while, thoroughly exhausted but still finding time to head out to their usual izakaya. Well, if “usual” meant once every six months, ever since Izuku got a significant other and hero works doubled up as they entered top 5.

After a few rounds of shots that didn’t do much but barely nibbled at Izuku’s fat bank balance, they stumbled out of the dimly lit doorway and into the night, Izuku’s arm around his waist, Katsuki’s on the other’s shoulder.

“Sh-Shit,” Izuku hiccuped, “didn’t plan to get this drunk, to be honest.” He laughed into the open air.

Katsuki was no better. He was stumbling on the pavement, tripped over his own foot more times than he liked. His head was thumping steadily, but the warmth emitting from the palm at his side made every pain worth it.

“I… I don’t think I can go home alone at this point,” Izuku mumbled right after letting out a loud burp. “I’d just collapse right on the floor. Imagine the headlines, Kacchan. Hero Deku, found passed out in a train, covered in his own vomit. Imagine the decline of my rank, Kacchan.” Both of them grimaced at the thought.

Katsuki didn’t need to take the train to get to his place since it was pretty near. He chose the apartment due to its closer proximity to the agency, while Izuku went to get one that allowed him to keep pets even though the idiot didn’t even have any pets yet. (“It’s called anticipatory planning, Kacchan!” Izuku had told him back then.)

So, before he could stop himself, Katsuki’s stupid mouth opened and decided to ruin his own life again. “Then just crash at my place.” If he was even a little less drunk than he currently was, he would immediately gather enough strength to backtrack. He didn’t, though.

Izuku’s eyes shone beside him. “Yes, you finally got the hint! Thank you, Kacchan.” He snuggled his fluffy hair into the crook between Katsuki’s neck and shoulder like a furry animal.

When the front door opened and the warm silence of his apartment greeted them, it finally dawned on Katsuki how horrible the whole offer actually was. The realization was almost enough to completely sober him up. The thing was, Katsuki never bothered to set up a guest bedroom (beds were expensive as all fuck with his budget as a new hero, and now that he was one of the most well-known figure of the country, he simply didn’t have the time to). Sure, the sofa was spacious enough, but he doubted it would be as comfortable as an actual mattress. Hell, he didn’t even have a futon lying anywhere in the house.

By the time he got back into his own head, Izuku had already shucked off his jacket and was standing in the middle of the living room, looking very much like a shitnerd with that stance.

“I want to sleep in your room,” the whiny brat demanded.

Katsuki rolled his eyes. “Glad to know we’re on the same fucking page, Deku. I’m not that rude of a host, y’know.” He pushed Izuku inside the bedroom and tugged on the other’s shirt, signaling him to remove the piece of clothing. “You wouldn’t want to sleep in that. It reeks of smoke and bad decisions.”

“Fair enough,” Izuku shrugged, lifting his hand and taking off his shirt, putting it on the back of the lone chair in the room. When he was comfortably snuggled under the covers, Katsuki turned around to flick the lamp off.

“Night, ‘Zuku.” He stepped out of the doorway, about to make a beeline for the couch when Izuku’s sleep-addled voice drifted through the space between them.

“What, you’re too cool to sleep with your best friend now?”

Katsuki sizzled, grinding his teeth together. He absolutely fucking loathed those words.

Slowly, he turned back around to face the bed. “Ain’t your boy gonna get pissed?” he spat, but his words betrayed the feet already walking towards the green-haired man’s lying form.

“Nah, he won’t. I’ll be pissed at him if he does,” Izuku said, almost a whisper, as he scooted over closer to the wall, leaving a huge vacant space for Katsuki. The blond stripped down to his boxers (his wasted condition wouldn’t grant him sleep if the temperature was anything warmer than cool), folded his clothes neatly before joining the other hero in bed. Half of him screamed for him to backtrack, to just go back outside and sleep on the couch, while the other half was in misery after being starved of closure for so long, begging him to let himself this much for once in his life.

He succumbed to his innermost desires while simultaneously denying the final satisfaction.

Izuku wriggled beside him, settling into a more comfortable position. “Night, Kacchan,” he whispered, and then he was out like a light, soft snores filling the room in a suffocating manner. Every time Izuku inhaled, his bare back brushed lightly against Katsuki’s elbows. When he's positive that Izuku was not going to talk to him anytime soon, he reached up and turned off his aids, pulling them out and set them down on the dresser.

Katsuki laid there for another half an hour or so, staring at the dark ceiling, slumber avoiding him like the plague. That one inch between them felt so close, yet too far away at the very same time.

He dug around his bedside drawer, taking out the quirk suppression gloves he hadn’t worn since his last nightmare attack years ago. He willed himself to ignore the excruciating warmth around his hands, appreciating the equipment that stopped him from burning his own sheets.

Back turned away from Izuku, he forced his eyes close into a restless sleep.

“Thank you so much, Deku, Dynamight!” The officer took his hat off and bowed down, Katsuki dismissing him with a wave while Izuku returned the gesture by bowing down too.

“Thank you as well, sir!” the other hero exclaimed joyfully. Katsuki scoffed and pushed his mask up to his hairline, keeping his bangs from his eyes. Izuku bounced up to walk beside him as Katsuki moved away from the scene, villains safely cuffed and getting dragged into the barred transport vehicle.

When Katsuki turned to look at the man, Izuku already had a smile so bright it rivaled the sun. The blond frowned.

The thing was, Izuku had been acting weird since earlier. Katsuki guessed that something must had happened when he spotted Izuku walking into the agency that morning. The nerd was vibrating vigorously, which was saying a whole lot considering the hero’s usual amount of energy on a normal day. And what made it even weirder was the fact that he was 2 minutes late by the time he arrived at the office.

And that was the other odd thing Katsuki found: Izuku didn’t do late, ever.

Izuku grabbed his forearm to stop him from walking further away and dragged him to the nearest alleyway. Katsuki had flashes of fantasies he had long ago of this exact scenario, but he knew it would never happen in the same context as the one in his dreams.

“Shit, Deku, what the hell is going on with you,” he said when the other cornered him against the wall, his toothy smile still adorably adorning his face.

“Kacchan,” he said his nickname in a breathless whisper, and fuck if it didn’t go straight to his groin. He mentally slapped his own dick because this was definitely not the appropriate time for that, goddammit.

“What,” he demanded again, voice straining this time. Izuku didn’t answer him right away, though. He was busy fumbling with his left glove, taking it off with his mouth. When the piece of costume was finally out of the way, Katsuki saw a flash of something glinting under the stray sunray. He didn’t have to spend too much time in his head trying to figure out what the hell it was because the very next second Izuku raised his hand up and damn near shoved it into Katsuki’s nose.

And there it was. On his fourth finger. A gold ring, decorated with a small jade stone right in the middle.

Katsuki was 100% certain he stopped breathing at that moment.

Izuku was still grinning that blinding smile, and holy fuck, Katsuki knew he had to say something. Anything.

“Fuck, Izuku,” he spoke, mustering the fakest smile he had ever put on. “Finally, huh. Never thought he had it in him.”

Always wished he didn’t have it in him.

He laughed, and if Izuku noticed the wetness in the sound, he hoped he could play it off as happy tears.

“I’m happy for you, nerd. I really am.” Katsuki wasn’t sure if that one was a lie or not.

Izuku finally pulled his hand back down but not before admiring the ring with a delightful look in his eyes. He's glowing, Katsuki thought, and when Izuku squeezed him in a tight hug, Katsuki almost felt his bones breaking.

But, just because the universe despised him and was out to get his entire being, the only thing breaking was his heart, shattered all across the damp pavement.

Izuku asked Katsuki to be his best man three days later. Katsuki agreed.

He regretted it.

He regretted saying “yes” to the wrong question.

Katsuki started to snap more frequently at work.

He had been subconsciously picking fights with Izuku over the tiniest disagreements. He had no idea what had gotten over him, but what he did know was that he couldn’t stop himself.

One day, after a recon mission, he confronted Izuku in the agency. “What the fuck was that?” he shouted, voice loud and shaking with anger. Izuku wasn’t looking too happy by any means.

“What do you want this time, Kacchan?” he asked back almost tiredly.

“What I want is for you to explain why the fuck did you punch the fucking floor when we were supposed to stay fucking quiet.” He folded his muscled arms in front of his chest.

Izuku’s eyebrows knitted together as he frowned. “I said I was sorry! I thought the roach was a device or something that they sent to attack us! And besides, they didn’t even suspect anything! They thought it was a rat!”

“Well, yeah, that’s where you get fucking lucky! What if they did and you blew our whole cover after three months just like that!”

“God, I'm sorry, alright! I don’t know what else I can say!”

Katsuki gritted his teeth in anger. He was aware he’s being irrational, but he just. Couldn’t. Stop. “I'm going home. I don’t have the energy to deal with this right now.” He turned to stomp over to his office to take his things.

“You’re being a dick, Kacchan!” Izuku called out after him.

“Fuck off, Deku!”

“Fine!”

Three days passed and they were still not talking to each other. They hadn’t fought for that long ever since high school. Katsuki was feeling the guilt consuming him from the inside out until he couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed his coat, despite having just showered after a night shift, and went to catch the train to Izuku’s place.

He raised his hand to ring the bell but the door swung open right before he managed to do so. Izuku emerged, looking sad and gloomy and miserable, just like he had been for the past three days. Those dull yet still beautiful green orbs widened when they noticed Katsuki's presence, and for a fleeting moment Katsuki let himself believe that Izuku looked relieved to see him.

“Kacchan… what are you doing here?” the man asked hesitantly.

Katsuki bit the inside of his cheek. “Wanted to see you.” A pause. “You’re all dressed up. Where are you going?” he asked, suddenly remembering that Izuku’s cake tasting was scheduled for today. Izuku dropped his head down and fumbled with his bag strap.

“Wanted to see you, too.” Katsuki's heart skipped a sad beat at that.

“Don’t you have to go cake tasting today?” He swallowed a huge lump in his throat.

“I cancelled.”

Both of them were silent for a while.

A deep intake of breath. He needed to apologize, fast. “Izuku, I–”

“I'm so sorry, Kacchan!” Of course Izuku beat him to it. Hero rankings, apologies, getting fucking married, he always managed to beat him at anything. His head was still hung and Katsuki could see that he was squeezing his eyes shut.

Katsuki shook his head even though the other man couldn’t see it. “What are you even sorry for? I’m sorry. I’ve been an asshole for no reason.” Izuku finally brought his gaze back up to Katsuki, eyes shining with unshed tears. “Sorry. I had this pent-up stress and just wrongly took it out on you. You didn’t deserve it.”

Izuku’s eyes widened again at that. “I’m sorry, Kacchan! I didn’t know that the wedding planning was stressing you out! I-I’ll go ask someone else! Ochako would love to, and, uh, maybe Shouto–”

“Deku,” he spoke firmly, making the other stop his ramblings. Katsuki’s heart constricted painfully at the thought of Izuku going around the city arranging his wedding with someone that was not him.

“I don’t mind going with you,” he said simply.

“Oh… oh, well, thank you, Kacchan. Sorry. Again. Let me know if it ever gets too much for you, okay?'' Katsuki would never say that, but he nodded nevertheless. Silence settled between them once again.

“Kacchan…” Izuku said after a while, voice barely a whisper. “Can I…”

Katsuki knew the continuation to that sentence, so he didn’t let Izuku finish it. Instead, he closed the gap between them and brought the man in for an embrace. The shorter hero’s arms immediately went around his middle, and Katsuki knew he was crying by the wet sensation damping the side of his neck where Izuku’s face was smooshed onto. He refrained himself from the urge to kiss the top of his partner’s hair.

“It’s still not too late,” Katsuki spoke, still wounded up tight around Izuku.

It’s not too late. I love you, he wanted to say.

It’s not too late, let’s be together, he wanted to say.

“Let’s go cake tasting,” he said.

Izuku retracted his head from its former resting place, a soft, small smile on his lips. He nodded.

Izuku spun around in front of the huge mirror, admiring the cream-colored three piece suit, and all Katsuki could think about was that time Izuku spilled mocha sauce all over his costume when they went to buy puddings near Endeavor’s agency.

The memory felt like a lifetime ago.

Maybe it was.

Izuku's getting married after all. They said that being tied down in marriage equals to starting a new life.

“To the groom-to-be!” Iida raised his cup.

“To the groom-to-be!”

The room erupted into a cheer, glasses clinking against each other and laughter echoed from corner to corner. In the middle of it all, Izuku sat, hiding his embarrassed red face in the crook of his elbow, his own glass in hand.

They weren’t in their usual izakaya, which made perfect sense because the tiny place would never be able to hold so many rowdy heroes. The occasion was Izuku’s supposed bachelor party, although the man of the hour refused to call it as such, referring it as a get-together instead. Technically, he wasn’t wrong to do so, because said party was way tamer than how bachelor parties usually went.

Several of their old classmates came over to congratulate Izuku on his engagement and his upcoming wedding. Izuku thanked them all while Katsuki watched over the exchange from the sidelines. He supposed he should leave him and go to Eijirou, Kaminari, and Sero at the other table instead, since it had been a while since he last hung out with them outside work.

He didn’t, though.

As the food was served and everyone busied themselves with stuffing their growling stomach, Izuku turned over to look at him. Katsuki raised one eyebrow when the nerd continued to not say anything.

“You know,” he finally spoke after a while, “I was worried the wedding and stuff would change things between us.”

Katsuki bit down on his tongue. “I should be the one telling you that.”

Izuku laughed that sweet laugh of his, ringing like a bell pleasantly in his ears. “It’s probably just pre-wedding jitters. It’s like… I’m very anxious there’s this hole inside my stomach, but also, really really happy, you know?”

Katsuki took a sip of his drink. “No, I don’t. Can’t see myself getting tied down anytime soon.”

Their conversation slowed down after that, and Katsuki thought that he might finally get around to go to Eijirou’s table after all, but then Izuku opened his mouth again.

“I don’t know why, but… I feel like we’re soulmates.” Izuku grinned at him, wide, eyes disappearing with the gesture. “I mean, look at us! Look at how far we’ve come!”

Katsuki let his gaze drop down to Izuku’s ringed finger, then to his own bare one.

Yeah. Soulmates. What fucking bullshit.

He downed the rest of the content in his glass in one go.

Shouto approached him in the huge changing room.

“Are you okay?”

A pause.

“No.”

“Wanna call in sick? I’ll tell him you got stomach bugs and are currently shitting your entire colon into the toilet bowl.”

“Would you really let him get upset? On his own fucking wedding day? Tell me, Shou. Say it to my face.”

Shouto shrugged. “I’ll help him yell at you after.”

Katsuki huffed out a humorless laugh. “Fuck you. You’re not helping.”

Shouto stepped closer and fixed the back of his collar. “This is ridiculous. Why do I have to be best friends with you two?”

“Don’t say those words,” Katsuki hissed, scowling at the other man through the mirror in front of them.

“What, best friends?” The blond tried to glare him into submission. It didn’t work.

Shouto sighed. “I mean it, though.”

“He means it too. That’s the most infuriating part of this whole shit show.”

The fire-and-ice user opened his mouth, surely ready to throw another smart-ass comment at him, but the sound of the piano playing outside distracted them both. Katsuki straightened his tie and gave himself a once-over.

“Step aside, Icy-Hot. He deserves to be happy.”

“You both do, Katsuki.”

Katsuki didn’t say anything as he walked outside.

Back in high school, they were taught about the theory of the existence of multiple dimensions. Katsuki wondered if the theory was true after all.

Because if it was, he’d like to think that there’s another universe, somewhere, somewhen, where he had enough balls to confess.

Another universe, where he didn’t torture Izuku all throughout their childhood and most of adolescence.

Another universe, where he wouldn’t deny himself from the things he wanted.

Another universe, where he became more than just a friend to Izuku.

He shut the heavy door behind him, figuratively and literally.

Another universe, where he didn’t have to watch Izuku wait at the altar for another man.

"Friends forever. Promise?" little Izuku said.

"Yeah," little Katsuki replied.

"Say it, Kacchan!"

An eyeroll. "Okay, okay. Promise."

"Nooo, you have to say the whole thing!"

"Alright, fine. Friends forever, promise. Happy now?"

"Mhm!"