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Prologue: Requiem 39.27
Rowan collapsed, her right hand on her gut, her left over her heart. Something had gone horribly wrong. Every nerve in her body was screaming in agony, her soul was obliterated into a million pieces. She couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see. The only part of her that was working was her ability to feel. What she felt was pain. Sheer, unadulterated, life shattering misery. Tears streamed down her face and an excruciating sob was ripped from her throat, “Helen!” She pleaded inside her mind, for all her lips could do was heart-rendingly utter her love’s name, over and over and over. No, gods please, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! “Helen, Helen, HELEN!” She writhed on the floor, burning daggers plunging into her heart again and again. Oh, gods be merciful, this can’t be happening. No, please, tis not true. Please, please, please please pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!! She shrieked, horrid and torturous, her body spasmed and convulsed, rending itself asunder. “HELEN!” Gods, my “Helen!” Large hands lifted her from the floor, larger arms wrapped around her tightly, cradling her like a babe, sitting on the edge of her bed, resting her in a warm lap, rocking her gently. She let out screech after bellowing cry, sobbing uncontrollably, fists clenched against her heart and the knot in her gut. She gasped for air, but none would fill her lungs, it felt like they had already exploded. “Helen!” Oh, gods! How could this happen? It can’t be. Nonononono, can’t be true! But I love you! Gods, I need you, “Helen!” Low grunts and clicks fell against her brittle ears, enormous hands patting her back, stroking her hair, guttural utterances intended to comfort and soothe. But comfort did not exist, she could not be soothed. Nothing mattered without “Helen!” She endured the endless agony, crying and whimpering and screaming for her love. It would never cease, this torment, and she knew it would kill her. Oh, “Helen….” And then. There was a flicker. The tiniest flame in the darkness that had consumed her soul. Weak and fluttering, but it was burning just the same. The constricting pain wrapped around her began to slack, slowly she was able to draw air into her lungs, breath by tiny breath. She still shuddered subtly, but the convulsions that had racked her subsided. “Helen…?” she whispered. The tiny flame wobbled and grew, still only a candle’s worth, but steady now. Oh, gods. Yes, please, oh please. “Helen?” she breathed. The flame wavered and grew. Oh, thank the heavens. She allowed herself a small, relieved sigh. Thank all the gods above and below. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! My “Helen.” A small, weak smile of relief danced across her lips. Her heart was no longer in a vice, she could breathe easier now, the blinding spots in her eyes were clearing, and the dizzying sense of loss was leaving her. She gazed up into the large, warm face bathing her with concern, and she gave it a gentle caress of appreciation. When she tried her voice, she found she could speak, “She’s all right. Oh, thank the gods, she’s all right.” She tucked her legs beneath her in the warm, oversized lap, and curled herself against the strong, broad chest, resting her cheek against its comfort. Powerful arms encircled her, large hands petting her gently, low, guttural, soothing utterances emanating from the deep throat. Tightly encased in his solace, shaking softly, whispering Helen’s name with quiet love and relief over and over again, she slept.