Chapter Text
It was chilly outside. A few stray leaves danced half-heartedly in the autumn breeze. The air was crisp and if she focused, she thought she could smell pumpkin pie in the distance.
It was Kalluto's turn to go shopping. After some thought, she had picked out some snacks, beer (for the adults only-Phinks would throw a fit if she ever drank while underage), pizza, and some magazines for Shizuku. She was always reluctant to go shopping; because of her young age, she was sometimes stopped and questioned. Also, it made her anxious to be away from the other members. She was, of course, capable of taking care of herself, but it made her feel safer when someone was with her.
She gazed into the distance, where the hideout was. It was an unassuming building, just a regular office building in the condemned area of the city. It was dilapidated like the others, but it was one of the only sturdy ones left. Kalluto quickened her pace and silently entered through the back door. A lone beetle scurried down the darkened hallway, but she ignored it. After navigating the maze of hallways, she entered the main room.
Her spirits automatically lifted as her fellow spiders turned to greet her. At least, most of them. Nobunaga was curled up on the floor, huddled under a pile of blankets. A miserable groan escaped him, and he shifted to see her staring at him. "Still feeling sick, Nobunaga?"
His voice was raspy. "Kalluto? Is that you?" he raised a thin hand from under the blankets and raised it shakily at her. "Come closer, in case this is the last time I see you."
Franklin laughed and lightly kicked Nobunaga in the side. "You have a cold, drama queen."
Nobunaga scowled and pointed a finger threateningly at him. "You'll be sorry when I'm gone."
They rolled their eyes. Every fall, it was the same thing. Nobu got sick, and they had to babysit him until he was able to fight without sneezing himself into oblivion. Though he would never admit it, he sort of liked the attention.
Kalluto passed out the pizza and put the snacks in the cabinets. After handing the magazines to Shizuku, she threw herself onto a chair and took out some paper to practice her origami. After a few minutes, she looked up to see that Phinks was nervously tapping his foot. Bonolenov noticed also, and after a second, most of the others were too. Only when he began biting his lip did Machi speak up. "All right, Phinks, spit it out."
He sighed. "It's almost the end of October."
"So?"
He glanced around the room, aware that even Shizuku was listening now. "I-uh, well, it's just that Halloween's coming up and I..."
Machi sighed. "And you were hoping to celebrate?"
"Well, kinda."
Kalluto hadn't heard of Halloween before. Her family wasn't into holidays all that much. Even on birthdays, they would only give perhaps an acknowledgement over breakfast, and that would be that. Only Grandpa Zeno ever gave gifts in the form of hugs and pats on the head. She was intrigued. "What's Halloween?"
The room turned to stare at her. Feeling a slight blush creep on her cheeks, Kalluto stuttered out, "What? Is it a big holiday?"
Franklin let out a small laugh. "Don't worry about it. Halloween's a holiday to celebrate 'spookiness' and stuff. Kids go around neighborhoods asking for candy and teenagers go to parties."
Shalnark scoffed. "You're missing a big part of it, Frankie." he turned to Kalluto. "You also dress up in costumes. That's my favorite part."
Kalluto was interested now. when she was smaller, she would often play dress-up with Alluka, though she never really liked the princess costumes. Even when she played the knight or the evil wizard, the costume would hang uncomfortably around her. It was something she hoped she would outgrow, but the feeling lingered. Even her kimono her mother forced her to wear made her feel exposed and unnatural. So, the concept of dressing up and costumes had always interested her. She supposed that, if she kept searching, she would find something that felt right.
Phinks could see that she was intrigued. "What do you say, Kalluto? Wanna do it?"
She nodded. "It sounds interesting."
Phinks looked around the room. "What about you guys say? We don't have to go Trick-or-Treating, but it would be fun to get costumes. We could have a little party."
Bonolenov nodded. "All right."
The others followed suit, except for Nobunaga (who had fallen asleep) and Machi. "Please, Machi? For us?" Shalnark gave his best puppy eyes. After a second, Machi sighed. "Fine." They cheered.
"But," Machi continued, "I'm not cleaning up after you."
"Deal!"
A half hour later, they were at the mall, except for some who wanted to stay. Feitan handed out the jobs. "Machi, Kalluto, you get costumes. We told you what we want. Phinks, Shalnark, and me get candy. Frankie, Shizu, you get decorations. All clear?"
They nodded, and split up. While the others wandered off to find the stores, Machi and Kalluto headed for the costume store.
"Let's see," Machi mused, "I'll get Franklin's, Phinks', Feitan's, and Shizuku's stuff, if you get the rest. That work for you?" Kalluto nodded. "Good. Then I'll see you in a half hour."
"See you then."
They split up, and Kalluto headed to find her comrade's costumes. After a while, she had acquired everybody's stuff, but she couldn't find a good costume for herself. Every girl costume she looked at seemed like it wouldn't fit her right. She was still standing in front of a row of dresses when Machi came up behind her. "Still deciding?" she asked, making Kalluto jump.
"Yeah." She admitted. "Nothing really looks appealing to me."
Machi nodded and looked with her. "So, do you have an idea of what would look good?"
"Not really."
Machi though for a second. "Come with me."
She led Kalluto across the store, to where the boy's costumes were kept.
"B-but this is the boy's section." She whispered, feeling a little confused.
"I know that, but I want you to think about what you'd want to wear from here."
"I'm a girl, though." She felt uneasy, but also adventurous.
"But, just for now, could you pretend you're a boy?"
She tried, but she didn't think any of the boy's costumes looked good, either. "I don't know!" She said, surprising herself. "These don't look right either and I'm so confused!"
Machi crouched down to Kalluto's level and put her hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry for confusing you, Kallu. I just thought..." She had another idea. "Is it okay if we try one more thing? I think it will help."
Kalluto miserably nodded, and followed Machi. They stopped in front of a row of skeleton costumes. They were the black, skintight kind with bones printed on them. Machi grabbed one off the rack and walked over to the changing rooms. She stopped outside one, and handed the costume to Kalluto. "Now, when you change, don't think about being a boy. And don't think about being a girl, either. Pretend that there are no genders."
For some reason, that sounded like a good idea to Kalluto. She went in the changing room, and as she undressed, she looked at herself. For a ten year old girl, she was small. Her breasts hadn't developed yet, and she hoped they wouldn't anytime soon. She liked herself without them. Her hair also felt long. Her mother had always pestered her about it. She slid the costume over her skinny frame. She closed her eyes and tried to do what Machi told her.
No genders. Just me. Not a girl. Not a boy. Just me. Suddenly Kalluto felt... calm. She was still uneasy about herself, but the idea of not being limited to one gender made her feel a little more sure.
She opened her eyes and smiled. The costume fit perfectly, and it hugged her comfortably. She felt good. Kalluto left the changing room and Machi whistled approvingly. "How do you feel?"
"I feel better." She answered honestly. "What you said about no genders, I like it."
"Then do it."
"Huh?" Kalluto was confused again. "But I can't! I'm a girl, and the only other choice is a boy, which I can't do anyways-"
"Look, kid." Machi interrupted. "We don't need rules. I'm guessing your mom made you act like a girl?"
Kalluto nodded.
"That's what I thought. But here's the thing- your mom was wrong. You don't need to be a girl. Or a boy. Just be you. No rules."
"But how?"
"It's called Non-Binary, and I think that's what you are. No gender."
"I think so too." Kalluto whispered.
"Good. Then do it." She paused for a second. "As long as you're sure." She added quickly.
"I am."
"Awesome."
As Kalluto changed back, she felt, for the first time, safe. I am Kalluto, she thought. I am Non-Binary.
She exited the changing room and walked to the front of the store to pay. "Hey, Machi?"
"Yeah?"
"What do I call myself? Since I'm not a she or a he?"
"Oh, you mean pronouns. I guess that would make you a they."
"Okay. I'm a they."
"Yep."
They walked out of the store, and headed for the food court, where the others were waiting. They were all eating pretzels, shopping bags stowed safely under the table. A couple at another table were staring at Franklin, but quickly averted their eyes when Feitan sent them a glare. Machi and Kalluto grabbed extra chairs and joined the circle. Shalnark pushed a basket of soft pretzels at them with greasy fingers. They each took one and drowned them in cheese. "How was it? You get everything?" asked Feitan.
"Yep. And we figured something out." Machi nudged Kalluto.
"You did?" Shizuku narrowed her eyebrows at Kalluto.
"We did. I'm Non-Binary." They said confidently.
There was silence for a split second, then they all smiled. "That's awesome, Kalluto." "Neat!" "I'm glad you know now."
Surprisingly, Shizuku pointed to herself. "I'm a lesbian, myself."
Shalnark nodded. "I'm gay." He elbowed Feitain. "Asexual." Phinks said, "I'm a bisexual bitch," stood up, and clapped Franklin on the shoulder. "Frankenstein here is straighter than a stripper pole." He started laughing obnoxiously, while the others rolled their eyes.
Kalluto was stunned. They had no idea their fellow spiders were so... open. It was really refreshing.
Kalluto smiled. They were surrounded by friends who accepted her, and despite the chilly weather, Kalluto felt warm inside.