Chapter Text
The gleam of the moon is the only thing lighting up Taehyung’s apartment when he steps inside. It’s expected; he lives alone and it’s well past midnight. But expecting it doesn’t make it any easier, and he has just taken three steps when he feels that weight settle heavily over his chest again, choking him but not fully. It’s just there, making him move a bit more slowly and feel a little more tired than he is.
As he loosens the tie around his neck and carelessly throws it to the floor, his eyes roam around the place and he finds it too big, too spacious, too empty. A sigh escapes him as he plops down on the couch, resting his head on the armrest and fishing his phone out of the pocket in his slacks.
1:02 AM.
One in the morning and he has only just arrived home from work. It makes choked-up laughter wreck its way up through his throat as he lets the phone fall on his chest, the messages he saw from his friends left unanswered, and Taehyung just—stares at the ceiling.
This is what he studied so hard for; his goal was to work an office job and earn enough to support both himself and his parents. Growing up he never had the money to do what he wanted. While his friends all sported new shoes every once in a while, Taehyung wore the same ones until his feet were too small for them anymore; while his friends were given a weekly allowance to buy food at the convenience store on their way back from school, Taehyung always had to wait until he arrived home to eat.
He grew up watching his parents struggle to provide him with what he wanted, working terrible hours just so Taehyung could eat three meals a day or pay for his school textbooks and uniform. And, somehow, love still spilled over through the cracks of their broken home.
So, when he was fifteen, Taehyung promised himself that he would pay them back for what they did for him.
Taehyung wanted his parents to travel around the world the way they always had said they would love to do. He wanted his mother to be able to buy those jewels she always ogled in the shop windows but could never afford and wanted his father to sit down and rest after years and years of breaking his back to earn barely the minimum.
And he was true to his word; he made it. Taehyung works a boring job and earns a lot; sends a lot of it to his parents, too, even though they insist that he uses it on himself instead. But, as it happens with everything good—it comes with its perks and its disadvantages. The thing is, Taehyung would love to spend some of his money on himself like his parents ask him to do, but he doesn’t have time for it. His social life is nonexistent at this point, his friends sometimes only calling him simply to check if he’s still alive.
Taehyung responds that yes, he is alive, but sometimes he wonders if that can be considered a truth at this point. Because Taehyung has always loved life a lot and he’s a really positive person, but if he thinks about his future right now, all he sees is monotony and, overall, loneliness. The thought itself causes anxiety to grow thick in his gut and settle there, trying to reach his chest with its claws and make him bleed.
As he thinks about it right now, for example, all Taehyung wants to do is run away. Quit his job and start again somewhere different without the pressure of his own expectations sitting heavily on his shoulders, or without having to fear the moment he arrives back to his apartment because he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to deal with the silence that surrounds him.
Taehyung wants to leave.
He wants to leave so badly, he barely even registers his fingers starting to tap his phone screen frantically, desperate for a change. And, in the blink of an eye, he has the device pressed cold against his ear, his heart thumping inside his chest.
“Why the fuck are you calling me at one in the morning?”
Jimin’s voice is hoarse and drowsy, and only then does Taehyung remember the time. It’s too late to regret it now, though; it’s too late to regret anything he’s about to do.
So, swallowing down his fears and hesitations, he speaks. “Hey, Jimin-ah. Are you still in contact with that friend of yours who lives in the countryside?”
It’s the ending of nothing and the beginning of everything.
The next day Taehyung hands his boss a resignation letter and calls his parents while he packs his things. He feels jittery, unsure about his choice of leaving everything he’s ever known behind to start a new life somewhere he’s never been before, so different to the metropolitan Seoul. Because, honestly, Taehyung can’t even differentiate between hay and straw. Hell, Taehyung doesn’t think he would be brave enough to collect the eggs the hens lay because what if one bit him?
But, he wants to learn.
Jimin lived in the countryside, really close to Busan, almost all his life until he decided to come to study in Seoul. However, he kept in contact with a friend that works at his grandparent’s farm in his hometown. His name is Jeon Jeongguk and, apparently, he’s going to be Taehyung’s host for a while until he decides what he actually wants to do with his life. Just for a little white, Taehyung promised himself.
Of course, he made sure to make it clear that he is going to help around; he wants to try a new lifestyle, wants to work on something that isn’t finances or stocks. Besides, Jeongguk is already letting him stay with him for free, so the least he can do is help with whatever he can.
Taehyung does hope that Jeongguk is willing to teach him, though.
It’s all very spontaneous, so Taehyung hasn’t been able to speak directly to Jeongguk yet and everything has been arranged through Jimin, who is more than happy to finally see Taehyung doing something for himself. His parents, too, have congratulated him on doing what’s definitely best for him. It makes Taehyung wonder just how blinded he was by his own goals, seeing how everyone seemed to know he needed a break before he himself did.
The zipping sound of his last bag startles Taehyung back to reality. Jimin is looking at him, sitting a few feet away and looking like a proud mom would. He’s been helping the brunette pack his bags for a few hours now and the simple thought of leaving him behind for God knows how long has tears prickling at Taehyung’s eyes.
“Oh, no,” Jimin mumbles as he scoots closer and wraps his arms around his friend’s frame, embracing him in a tight hug full of love. “Don’t cry, baby. We’ll see each other the second I get a break, okay?” he says. Taehyung doesn’t ask how he knows that’s what’s bothering him because, well—Jimin is practically his other half. Of course, he would know. “Unlike you, I actually get breaks from my job.”
It’s a joke. Taehyung knows by the light tone the blond boy uses and by the way he flicks Taehyung’s nape. But there’s also truth to it, so much truth that Taehyung actually lets a whimper escape his lips and holds on tighter to his friend.
“I’ll miss you,” he says, hiding his face in the crook of Jimin’s neck. “I’m scared. What if I don’t like it there?”
Jimin pulls away the slightest bit, his hands going all the way to squish Taehyung’s cheeks. “Listen to me, you dumbass. Literally anything is better than this, yes? I’ve been watching you lose the light in your eyes for years now, Tae, and I’m incredibly proud of you for finally taking this step. If you don’t like it there, it’s not like Jeongguk is going to force you to stay.”
Jimin smiles, booping Taehyung’s nose and fondly watching as a tiny smile settles on the brunette’s face. Then, he goes on, “You can always come back and I’ll be here, waiting for you with open arms. Just stop thinking in trepidation. You don’t know how things will play out until they do, and not every choice you make has to be definitive. Take things slowly and don’t put too much weight on them, Tae. You’ll be okay.”
Taehyung takes a deep breath and nods, his cheeks squished by his friend. “I love you so much, Jiminie. Thank you for being the bestest friend ever and for staying in contact with Jeongguk-ssi.” He says the last line through a laugh and Jimin joins him, pinching his right cheek before completely pulling away and standing up.
“Okay, now let’s go. You still have to say goodbye to your parents.”
Taehyung nods and stands up, too. Risking a look in the mirror of his room before leaving, he realizes just how different he looks like this; in casual clothes, with his brown locks free of hair gel and without the scowl that somehow seemed to have been permanently glued to his face.
It’s the first time in a while that Taehyung truly has had time for himself and, because he didn’t want to overthink things and back down, he decided to leave as soon as possible. In his hazy mind from last night, it made sense; taking a day to say goodbye to his friends and parents and then leaving the next morning.
He doesn’t have many friends, though. Jimin is the only one who actually stayed after seeing that Taehyung wasn’t as ‘fun’ anymore as he was in college, so he was done with saying goodbye to his friends pretty quickly.
His parents, however—Taehyung knows, more than that, he is absolutely certain that his father is going to cry. And he takes after his father in a lot of things, which includes his emotional side, so he’s probably going to cry, too. It’s not like Taehyung is going to a different country, though; they can still see each other pretty often, but not every weekend like they were doing now.
Taehyung is barely five minutes in the car with Jimin, the two of them singing along to some song that is playing on the radio, before he simply can’t avoid the question anymore.
“So, tell me, what is Jeongguk-ssi like?”
It’s an innocent question, really; but Jimin is Jimin, and so, he arches a brow and a smirk plasters on his lips before replying, “Oh, I haven’t seen him in a few months, but he’s really hot, not going to lie. He has always been pretty, even when he was going through his emo phase, but now? An absolute snack.”
Taehyung blushes, smacking Jimin’s nape softly because he doesn’t want to die before starting his new life, or whatever this is. Says, “You dumbass. You know that’s not what I meant! I meant as—as a fucking person. I’m going to be living with him, may as well know something about him.”
“Well,” Jimin shrugs as he turns the car to the left. They’re already near Taehyung’s parents’ apartment since it’s not too far away from his own, “he’s, like, really cute. Honestly, his looks are the absolute opposite of the kind of person he is. He likes watching cartoons, so you two will be able to fight about which ones are the best ones,” he teases and Taehyung scoffs, rolling his eyes although this particular fact did pique his interest. “He’s just really sweet, I don’t know what to tell you, Tae. You’ll have to get to know him yourself.”
“Okay, so I’m assuming I’m not at risk of getting murdered, right?”
“Do you really think I’d send you to live with a person I don’t trust?” Jimin deadpans, parking the car in the garage and unbuckling both his belt and Taehyung’s.
Taehyung blinks at him and can’t help the laugh he lets out at the look of pure offense on his best friend’s face. Jimin whines, slapping his arm and getting out of the car, the brunette following suit and making his way toward the elevator. He hears Jimin lock the car doors and run to catch up to him.
“Take that back!” the elder boy says once they’re both inside the elevator, his finger pressing the number 4 button. “Tae, take it back or I’ll tickle you.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” Taehyung says, eyes wide as they stare into Jimin’s. But his friend, as unforgiving as he is, does dare and his fingers mercilessly attack the brunette’s sides, making him squirm in his place and choke on his own breath through his laughter. “J-Jimin! Stop it—oh my god, I can’t breathe.”
“Deserved,” Jimin states. He stops at the same time the elevator doors open and Taehyung chuckles, jumping into his back and clinging onto him like a koala. Jimin’s hands quickly go to his thighs, holding him in place despite being smaller than the brunette. “Taehyung, I swear to god, one day you’ll end up breaking my back!”
“Yes, yes, whatever. Carry me to my parents’ front door.”
And Jimin does because, despite everything, he has a soft spot for Taehyung and the brunette knows it. Truth be told, it feels like it’s been years since he and Jimin last played around this way; in fact, Taehyung wouldn’t be wrong to assume it’s been months, at least, since he last saw Jimin and spent time with him like this—without having to worry about his next shift or without being so tired that he simply falls asleep on his best friend’s arms.
The thought makes him happy as well as making him sad because he really missed Jimin and now he’s going to live in the countryside near Busan and—
“Oh, you’re here!” Taehyung’s mother, Jisoo, greets them and that’s when he realizes that Jimin has already rung the bell. Her eyes take them both in and a wide grin plasters on her face, boxy and big, just like Taehyung’s. “Come in, come in! Taekyung is making lunch already.”
Once they’re inside the apartment, Taehyung hops off Jimin’s back and sticks out his tongue to the elder when he groans, walking over to his mother and hugging her. “Hi, mom,” he says, smiling when she hugs him back just—if not more—as tightly.
“Hi there, strawberry.”
Jimin bursts out laughing and Taehyung pulls away from his mother with a betrayed look. Strawberry was his nickname as a kid because it was, and still is, his favorite food ever. Jimin knows that, but it doesn’t make him laugh any less whenever Taehyung’s mother calls him that.
“Mom,” Taehyung whines, “I thought we were past this point already.”
Jisoo clicks her tongue. “You’ll always be my strawberry, though.”
Rolling his eyes, Taehyung steps into the kitchen as he hears Jimin kiss his mother’s cheek. There, in front of the stove, stands his father, Taekyung, with a floral apron on.
“Hi, Dad,” Taehyung says as he goes to stand next to him. “How is lunch going?”
“Taehyung! Hello, son,” he greets him, giving him a side hug. “It’s going pretty well. I’m making samgyeopsal since I know it’s Jimin’s favorite, and I’m also making japchae since I know it’s yours.”
Taehyung hums, his mouth watering at the smell. “Sounds great. How are you and mom doing? You haven’t been traveling as much lately.”
His father chuckles, giving him a pointed look, and replies, “We need a rest from time to time, son. Now go set the table, will you?”
Nodding, Taehyung starts doing as he’s told, Jimin and his mother happily chatting in the living room with a random drama playing on the TV in the background. He hears his name a few times but he doesn’t acknowledge it, deciding to leave that conversation for lunch instead. The second he finishes setting the table, though, he sits down in between them and tangles his legs with Jimin’s and his arm with his mother’s.
He’s always been an affectionate person, so this doesn’t startle them and they just give in, their conversation still going but this time about Jeongguk, which is Taehyung’s interest right now.
“Jeongguk is a really nice person, I already told Taehyung that,” Jimin is saying. “I would never let him go to live with someone I don’t trust. Actually, Jeongguk and I were childhood friends until I came to study here, but we’ve kept in contact throughout the years.”
Jisoo hums, her eyes fixed on the TV but obviously not paying the drama any mind. “And what about his parents? Does he live alone?”
“Yeah, he lives alone in a house close to his grandparent’s farm, which is where he works. His parents actually work here, in the city,” Jimin explains. “They’re good people, too; a bit too self-centered, but good people, after all. They’re business people, but didn’t really oppose when Jeongguk wanted to stay at the farm.”
“That’s good, actually. I think—”
“Lunch is ready!” Taehyung’s father says as he walks in with plates balanced in his hands. They’re all quick to help him put them on the table and, after washing their hands, they all sit, Jimin and Taehyung in front of the brunette’s parents. “What were you talking about?”
“Oh, just about Jeongguk,” Taehyung replies. Then, at his father’s confused expression, he explains further, “The person I’ll be staying with.”
“Right. I still can’t believe you’re doing this, son.” Taekyung laughs as he places a piece of meat on Taehyung’s plate. “I’m really proud of you, I hope you know that.”
Taehyung looks down as he takes his chopsticks and brings some noodles to his mouth, humming in content at the taste. His father has always cooked incredibly well.
“Thank you, dad. I’m just… nervous, I guess. After all, this was all a decision in the spur of the moment and I’m not sure if I’ll like it there. It’s also very sudden and—”
“Stop right now,” his mother says, her eyebrows knitted together in a frown. “You’re thinking too much, strawberry. I understand it’s scary and that it takes a lot of courage to make a decision like this, but I just know it’s the right thing to do.” She puts some meat in her mouth, happily chewing on it before continuing, “We were very worried about you, Taehyung. You looked like a ghost every single time we saw you, always so tired and sad. You lost your glow, and I’m so happy you’re trying to get it back now.”
“Yes,” Jimin says, nodding. “I absolutely agree with that and I’m also incredibly proud of you, Tae.” He takes Taehyung’s hand in his, squeezing it, and Taehyung blushes under the gaze of their parents. They’ve always wanted him and Jimin to date, but that’s simply not happening. They’re each other's other half; they’re soulmates, as they call themselves, but platonic. No romance. “I know you’re scared, but the three of us will still be here for you. I’ll make sure to bring your parents with me when I visit you, of course!”
Taekyung laughs, his eyes crinkling. “Oh, you better!” They all join him and the air around them feels lighter now; easier to breathe. However, like Taehyung knew it would happen, his father can’t help the tears that fall down his cheeks as he looks at his son and laughs. “I’m so proud of you, son,” he says then, and despite having heard it from Jimin and Jisoo already, the brunette’s heart still breaks. “And oh, you’re so silly. You really thought your mother and I wouldn’t know?”
As if frozen in place, Taehyung’s jaw falls open and his eyes widen. “W-What?” he asks, but he already knows the answer to his question. He simply doesn’t want to hear it just yet.
“We know you wanted to give us this, strawberry,” his mother says. Jimin lets go of his hand and she takes it instead, squeezing it. “We know you wanted us to live the life we couldn’t when we were young the second you told us to go see the world like we wanted to, and for that, we’re extremely thankful. But you really didn’t have to. It made me both so proud and so sad to see you giving your all to a career you probably didn’t even like that much in the first place… Even in high school, when you were working so hard just so you could get a scholarship—” She chokes up and Taehyung feels his own tears falling down his cheeks now, cold yet warm, so warm. Maybe it’s because of all the love they hold.
“Yes,” Taekyung decides to go on then as one of his hands rubs his wife’s back reassuringly. “We’re so thankful to you, son, but we want you to live for yourself. You didn’t have to give us anything, either; just seeing you smile was and is enough. You are the best gift we could’ve ever gotten, and no amount of money can ever compare to that. We want you to be happy, Taehyung. So, please,” He wipes his cheeks, sniffles, and then gives Taehyung the widest grin he’s ever seen from him, “it’s time for you to be happy, son. It’s time you live for yourself.”
The silence that follows isn’t really silence. It’s a mess of sobs; from Taehyung himself, from his parents, and even from Jimin who is straight-up bawling his eyes out next to him.
He looks at his parents and remembers the times they would sit him down when he was a teenager; the times they asked him again and again if Business was what he really wanted to study. Because didn’t he prefer art, his passion ever since he was a kid? And the times Taehyung denied that fact; the times he looked them in the eye and said, with as much resolution as a high schooler could muster, that he wanted to become a successful businessman one day.
Eventually, his parents gave up. And now—now Taehyung understands why. But still, he asks, “Why? Why didn’t you say anything before?”
And his mother laughs through her tears and replies, her voice unsteady and broken at the edges, “Because we knew you wouldn’t stop until you did this. Because we saw it in your eyes. You didn’t want to do this, you needed to. And, eventually, we realized we couldn’t stop you.”
“We know you better than we know ourselves, son,” Taekyung adds with a tiny smile. “We knew you needed to get this off your chest—the weight of our past, that is. You needed to do this in order to close that chapter of your life and move on. And, look at you now!” He gestures at him, eyes shiny with tears again. “We were right.”
They were right. Taehyung simply gawks at them, stunned, with stricken tears still gliding down his cheeks, and then he abruptly stands up and walks toward them. They stand up, too, and the three of them share a hug like never before. Love seeps through the places where they part. Taehyung turns to Jimin then, who is looking at them with a soft smile. He pulls away a little and extends an arm, smiling at his best friend’s shocked face.
“What are you doing there?” Taehyung asks. “This is a family hug. C’mere.”
And Jimin breaks into sobs again, which makes Taehyung and his parents laugh, but he still walks over and hugs them tightly, crying into the brunette’s neck. It’s at this moment that Taehyung knows—he simply knows that this is the right thing to do. That he’s taken the right path this time.
He’s ready to start again. He just hopes Jeongguk is as nice as Jimin describes him to be.
Taehyung drives to the countryside the next morning after a long night of sleep. He feels refreshed, as if he had just been freed from a problem that had been making his everyday life harder—and that is what he has done, he hopes. He puts his bags in the trunk of his car with a soft smile on his face and puts on his favorite playlist once he’s behind the wheel, humming softly to the different songs until he starts singing them at the top of his lungs, his window rolled down and the wind hitting his face.
It’s autumn, so the weather isn’t too hot nor is it too cold. It’s Taehyung’s favorite season, too, and if he were to get a little poetic here, he would say that everything feels as if it was meant to happen this way. In his favorite season, wearing his favorite cardigan and listening to his favorite songs. Even the trees are shedding their leaves, like how Taehyung is shedding the shackles of his old life. He really feels like himself. Whatever it is, he simply can’t erase the smile from his face, and it remains this way throughout the ride.
He doesn’t stop anywhere to eat. Since he left at around ten in the morning, he assumes he will be there for a late lunch and that Jeongguk won’t deny him the right to some food, even if it’s just a takeaway.
Wait. Do they even have takeaway there? Taehyung sure as hell hopes they do. And, if they don’t, he sure hopes Jeongguk is a good cook because he definitely isn’t.
Jimin sent him the address last night after a thousand and one apologies for not being able to go with him. Taehyung told him it was fine a thousand and two times, though, because he understands that Jimin has a job of his own and that he can’t just not go to work because Taehyung is leaving. He already used his sick leave the day before to say goodbye and help him pack his bags; Jimin has already done more than enough.
As the city dissolves and is left behind him, Taehyung feels… free. It's a nice feeling, one he hasn't felt in so long enough that he has trouble recognizing it at first. But, once he feels the sensation flooding his body, the smile on his face only grows wider and his doubts seem to be taken away by the wind, left behind in the city where they belong.
And, now, Taehyung is ready. He's determined to make the most out of this.
At some point, everything that surrounds him becomes lush and green and the road turns into a dirt track. Taehyung decides to slow down, taking his time to admire the rolling fields and the abundant vegetation, and he can't help the awe with which he stares. There are people walking around, some of them in dirty overalls and with hats on, and some others with casual clothes, probably heading toward that bus stop that the brunette saw not too long ago. It vastly contrasts what he's used to seeing, but he likes it.
He likes it way more than busy, polluted streets filled with traffic; more than nights interrupted by rowdy people shouting in the ungodly late hours; more than crowded subways and tired reflections in the shop windows.
It takes him a little more than ten minutes to stop the car. A pickup truck is parked in front of him, and in the middle of the two cars is a dirt path that leads to a wooden house. It's not too big, but it's pretty and the wood seems to shine under the rays of the warm sun. There are flowers everywhere and a porch with a table and two chairs that look really inviting.
There's a small wooden sign near the path where the address is written and Taehyung makes sure to double-check it on his phone once more; it's correct, and with that confirmation, the nerves start to build in his gut.
He's not awful with strangers, but it definitely has been a while since he has had to introduce himself to anyone outside of his work. Plus, he's going to be living with Jeongguk for God knows how long—it’s only natural that he wants to make a good impression. The boy is already kind enough to offer him a place to stay.
“You're gonna be fine, Taehyung,” he says to himself as he looks in the mirror of his car. He fixes his hair, for some reason, and applies some chapstick on his—dry—lips. Again, it's a look he himself isn't used to, but he thinks he looks better like this.
Less fake.
Taehyung’s work persona was a serious man; he was intimidating while working, he admits that, but then again, that's how he got where he is now. Or was. Maybe the reason why he was always so serious has to do with the fact that he was unhappy, because Taehyung himself is a very cheerful person; has always been. Talkative, funny, free-spirited. Somewhere along the way, though, it got lost. He got lost.
Sighing, he decides not to let his own thoughts ruin this day and steps out of the car. He realizes then that he does, in fact, not have Jeongguk’s number, so he will probably have to find him on his own and what if he's not here? Why didn’t he think to ask Jimin for it?
The farm isn't too far away, though, so Taehyung guesses he can go there if he doesn't see anyone near the house anytime soon. He takes in the place a little better now; the way plants hang from the house’s windows, the books on top of the wooden table in the porch, the big, wide tree to the left with a swing. It's pretty and new, colorful and, overall—homey. It's not even Taehyung's home, but it feels warm and welcoming.
The brunette probably likes the idea of staying here a little too much, and he can only hope he likes the owner of the house just as much.
And then, as he's about to go sit on the swing, he hears it. A voice shouting a name Taehyung can't make out, footsteps crunching on gravel, and then something akin to hooves hitting the ground. Before he can allow confusion to settle, though, he doesn't hear it but rather sees it.
A lamb. A lamb running toward him and without any apparent intention of stopping. And behind, chasing the animal, is a boy with a panicked look in his eyes, desperately calling for it. Taehyung doesn’t have much time to take in the boy, though, for the next thing he knows is that there’s a thud and an ache spreads all over his knees as he falls on his butt, a groan escaping his lips.
“Yong, don’t!” the boy practically begs the lamb and Taehyung would have laughed any other time hadn’t it been for the ripping sound that followed the words.
Eyes wide, Taehyung slowly turns his head to the left, drops his gaze to the ground and there it is—his favorite cardigan split in two, part of the fabric on the lamb’s hoof as it stares at Taehyung with big, innocent eyes. As if it hadn’t just ruined the brunette’s day.
“Oh my god, oh my god, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” a soft, breathy voice asks with an obvious Busan accent, sounding much too close to Taehyung. Turning his head, he’s met with eyes that, in all honesty, resemble the lamb’s—doe-ey, big and glistening; innocent and worried as they bore into Taehyung’s.
The man is squatting in front of him, watching the brunette expectantly. His features are soft yet they have a fierce edge to them; a sharp jawline, a straight, big nose, and delicate, pink lips that, somehow, match perfectly with those beautiful eyes that Taehyung is a bit bitter about since they remind him of the culprit who tore his favorite cardigan. A mop of short, black hair falls softly onto the stranger’s forehead and there’s a glint of something that Taehyung quickly recognizes as a piercing in his eyebrow.
And, well—he may be pissed with the animal that still stands behind him, but there’s no denying that the man who is in front of him right now is hot. Taehyung notices then that, from under the rolled-up sleeves of his red flannel—more specifically the right one—peeks black ink; a lot of it. And oh, if that doesn’t make him even hotter.
Taehyung realizes he’s staring when the man clears his throat and asks again, voice shy, “Um, are you okay?”
The brunette almost chokes, quickly nodding and being shaken out of the weird stupor he seemed to have been sucked into. He takes the hand the stranger is holding out and stands up, dusting off his pants and glaring down at the lamb one more time. If anyone had told Taehyung that this would be how he would be starting his new life—getting basically trampled by an animal and having his favorite cardigan in the world ripped—he would’ve laughed and, then, refused to come. But now he’s here and, really, what’s there to do besides embracing whatever comes?
It’s still better than having to see his boss’ face every morning. His former boss’s face, he reminds himself.
“Again, I’m so sorry about that,” the boy speaks after a few seconds, one hand awkwardly scratching his nape. He sounds remorseful and it makes the irritation inside the brunette subside a bit, so he forces himself to relax his features a little.
“It’s okay,” he replies with a tight-lipped smile, trying his best to hold the man’s gaze although it’s hard with how intense, yet soft, his eyes are at the same time. “It’s not like you told the lamb to come and barrel into me. You have nothing to apologize for.”
The guy nods, walking over to where the lamb is—now happily munching on some grass that it probably shouldn’t be munching on—and caging its body between his legs, although the animal doesn’t seem to mind it, not even moving an inch.
He nods toward Taehyung, tilting his head to the side a little, and asks, “Can I help you, though?”
Taehyung nods, deciding it’s not a bad idea to ask this man if he knows where the hell he can find Jeon Jeongguk. Honestly, all he wants is a bed to collapse on and have a three-hour power nap; maybe some food, too, although his hunger has definitely subsided with the recent events.
“I was actually looking for someone,” he replies. This seems to pique the other’s interest even more, his eyes shining with wonder. “Do you know Jeon Jeongguk? I’m supposed to be staying with him, but I don’t have his phone number or anything and I don’t know where to find him.” There’s a pout on his lips by the time he’s finished delivering his words, visibly affected by the sudden turn the day has taken.
He registers the way the guy’s eyes seem to have widened then, his lips agape, and his pout turns into a frown. “What?” he asks, voice dripping with confusion. “You okay there?”
“Oh my god,” the man says, and Taehyung wonders if maybe that’s his favorite sentence since he keeps repeating it. “You—I—Shit, I absolutely forgot.”
“Huh?”
To put it bluntly, Taehyung can feel the irritation building again. Is it so hard to get a coherent answer here?
He scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest and arching a brow, silently prompting him to explain what he means by ‘I absolutely forgot’.
“Uh, you see—” He scratches his nape again and the brunette starts thinking that that must be one of his nervous habits. “It turns out I am Jeon Jeongguk and I totally forgot you were coming today,” he explains, and Taehyung’s breath hitches in his throat.
There’s no way that this extremely hot man in front of him, whose lamb ran into Taehyung a few minutes ago, is the same person he’s going to be living with. And, to make things better—he fucking forgot that Taehyung was coming. Deep down he knows he can’t blame him; his arrival is really sudden and he’s really grateful that Jeongguk is giving him a place to stay, but he can’t help the small flame of annoyance that flickers inside his chest.
“What?” he croaks. “You’re Jeongguk? Jimin’s childhood friend?”
The man—Jeongguk—nods and gives Taehyung a sheepish smile, holding out a hand. “I think it’s safe to say you’re Kim Taehyung then, right?”
Taehyung stares at Jeongguk’s hand. It’s pretty, too, with slender fingers and tattoos on his knuckles; when the brunette takes it, though, he notices his own is a bit bigger. They fit nicely together, though.
They both bow a little, Jeongguk not very mobile with a lamb still in between his legs, and Taehyung makes an effort to give him a smile after noticing how nervous the other looks. “Yeah, I’m Kim Taehyung. Thank you for letting me stay here, Jeongguk-ssi.”
“Oh, it’s fine, really!” he quickly says, waving his hands. “I have room in my house anyway and I could use a hand if you’re up for it, although in no way do you have to,” Jeongguk rushes to add.
“Of course I’ll help,” Taehyung says, shoulders relaxing a bit now that he has finally found Jeongguk and is a step closer to taking that deserved nap. He lets out an airy giggle then, sheepishly adding, “You might have to teach me how to do some things, though. I’ve never worked on a farm before.”
Jeongguk grins, this time wide and confident, and Taehyung feels as if all the air has been knocked out of his lungs because wow, Jimin wasn’t being overdramatic when he said Jeongguk was really beautiful. His nose scrunches up when he smiles and it’s just—somehow, Taehyung thinks it’s one of the prettiest smiles he’s ever seen in his life.
“I can do that, yes,” Jeongguk says, startling Taehyung back to reality. His cheeks are a pretty pink now and his eyes shy again, which makes the brunette wonder just how intensely he has been staring. He knows his gaze can be intimidating, even though that is rarely his intention. He really doesn’t want to make Jeongguk feel that way. “I’m assuming you’re tired, though. Let me take Yong back to his pen and I’ll help you with your bags and show you your bedroom.”
Taehyung nods before his eyes fall on the lamb. “I’m assuming this is Yong?”
Jeongguk really blushes this time. “Yeah, he’s… pretty curious,” he says with a soft chuckle, and despite the hatred that the brunette has started to develop for the animal, he can’t deny that it’s cute; the way Jeongguk treats him, too. “Again, I’m really sorry about your cardigan. I can buy you a new one if you want—”
“No, it’s fine,” Taehyung quickly interrupts him. “I mean, I’m kinda trying to start a new life from scratch here,” He chuckles, feeling a bit shy about telling this to someone just met, “so I guess I can see the loss of my cardigan as something that had to happen or whatever. You know, destiny and all that stuff.”
Jeongguk giggles before letting go of Yong, quickly scooping him up in his arms. The lamb squirms a bit before calming down and completely relaxing. Taehyung’s eyes are wide, watching as the other carries the animal as if it weighs nothing.
“I’ll be back soon! There’s a key under the doormat if you want to start carrying your things inside!”
Taehyung watches his back as he goes, still recovering from the morning’s events. It’s only then that it dawns on him, the fact that he’s actually doing this; that he’s moving in with a stranger, a person he barely knows, to help on a farm far away from his old job and his old life. It’s scary and things definitely didn’t start in the best way they could’ve, but still—Taehyung can’t help the smile that tugs at the corner of his lips, full of hope and excitement for what’s to come.
So, he walks over to his car, opens the truck, and starts taking out his bags with renewed enthusiasm.
Jeongguk’s house is as pretty on the inside as it is on the outside. It has a light wooden floor and darker wooden walls, lots of different paintings and framed pictures hanging on them, and it’s full of plants.
When you enter, there is a foyer, then a kitchen to the right, a living room to the left. The furniture is minimalistic and varies from different tones of white, cream, and black colors that Taehyung was used to. There is a fireplace in front of a couch, a wide TV on top of it surrounded by plants, of course, and a dark wooden coffee table in between the sofa and the fireplace, another couch on the right, perpendicular to them.
A slightly ajar door next to the stairs reveals a pretty big bathroom and then, upstairs, there is a small hallway with four doors. The first door to the left is Jeongguk’s bedroom, the man explains to Taehyung, and the one next to it is his office, which is connected to his room. The door on the right side of the stairs is where Taehyung’s room will be and the last door at the end of the hallway is another bathroom.
Taehyung’s room is quite big and it was obviously a spare room, everything seemingly new and neat. It’s not the biggest room he’s ever been in; in fact, his own room back in Seoul was probably two times the size. But it’s still wide enough to not feel suffocating, has a big bed and the window gives him a perfect view of Jeongguk’s grandparent’s house, some horses and cows, and some people in the yard below.
It’s beautiful, Taehyung thinks. Different from what he’s used to seeing, but beautiful nonetheless.
Jeongguk, who has helped him carry his—probably way too many—bags all the way to his new room, stands now in front of him, opening the window and saying something about airing the place a little. Taehyung, on the other hand, is sprawled out on the bed with his eyes closed, feeling the way his muscles relax on top of the comfortable mattress.
“I have to go back to work soon,” Jeongguk is saying, “but I’m usually back before eight. There are some leftovers in the fridge, but if you wanna cook something, you can go ahead.”
“It’s fine, I’m not a picky eater,” Taehyung replies, voice soft and obviously faint, a clear sign that he’s about to doze off. “Thank you, Jeongguk-ssi. This means a lot to me.”
Taehyung can feel the weight of Jeongguk’s eyes on him but doesn’t open his own, both because he’s too comfortable and because he’s not sure he would be able to hold his gaze right now. Jeongguk’s presence, the brunette has been quick to notice, is… different. It’s not intimidating or anything of the sort, but everything he does is just so genuine that it takes Taehyung back a bit.
In Seoul, it’s not often that you meet someone with a heart big enough to do something without expecting something else in return. Jeongguk though—Taehyung can tell that he has no expectations whatsoever. He can see that he’s doing this because he wants to help a friend; no hidden reasons behind his kindness.
After what feels like an eternity but can’t be more than a few seconds, Jeongguk hums and says, “It’s nothing, really. I don’t mind having company and, I mean, Jimin-hyung didn’t tell me much about why you’re coming here, but I’m happy to help if I can.”
The brunette cracks an eye open, giving him a bewildered look. “Even though you don’t know me at all?”
Jeongguk shrugs, a small smile plastering on his lips. “You’re Jimin-hyung’s best friend. No one that is friends with him can possibly be a bad person, that’s just the way it is.” He chuckles, his big eyes crinkling. “Plus, I’ve heard a lot about you from him, although they were all old stories about Jimin-hyung and you when you were in college. You seem nice.”
Taehyung can’t help the way fondness expands warm all over his chest, his smile growing wider by the second as he remembers some of those anecdotes. He and Jimin had a lot of fun when they were younger, that’s for sure; Taehyung finds himself wishing he could go back to those times pretty often, too. And the fact that Jimin told those to Jeongguk, somehow, makes him miss his best friend deeply, despite having seen him less than a day ago.
“Am I?” Taehyung asks, although it’s not aimed at anyone. He laughs, shifting until he’s sitting down on the mattress and propping his weight up, his hands behind his back on the bed. “Still, though; not everyone would do this, so thank you.” Jeongguk opens his mouth again, his eyebrows furrowed together, and Taehyung raises a hand, effectively shutting him up and saying through a laugh, “Just accept my gratitude, Jeongguk-ssi!”
Nodding, Jeongguk’s cheeks color a pretty pink and he smiles a little before asking, a bit hesitant, “Hey, is it okay if we, uh—if we stopped being so formal? I mean, we’re going to be living together after all, so if that’s okay with you…” he trails off and, for some reason, Taehyung finds it endearing.
“Yeah, sure.” He tilts his head slightly to the side. “How old are you?”
“I’m twenty-four,” Jeongguk replies, his eyes twinkling with something that the brunette doesn’t recognize. “What about you?”
Taehyung grins and wiggles his eyebrows a few times, eliciting a loud laugh from Jeongguk. “Seems like I’m your hyung. I’m twenty-six.”
“Okay. I’ll call you hyung, then.” He looks at his wrist and only then does Taehyung notice he’s wearing a watch. “I really should get going, though, or my grandfather will kill me.”
“Sure,” Taehyung says as he watches Jeongguk pad toward the door. “Have a good day at work, Jeongguk-ah.” The name with the new honorific rolls off his tongue easily, and he catches sight of Jeongguk’s smile once again.
“See you later, hyung,” he says before stepping out and closing the door behind him. The second he’s out, Taehyung lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and lets his body fall back onto the mattress, his lips parted in surprise.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Kim Taehyung?” he asks himself as he stares at the ceiling. The walls are creamy and, while the ones in this room are not as decorated as the others, the color is still pretty and clean. “You’re really doing this, huh. You crazy asshole.”
He chuckles, his body shaking with it, and lets his eyes fall shut, not even bothering to change his clothes first. If he’s honest, things are going way more smoothly than he thought they would; Jeongguk is just as nice and sweet as Jimin told him he was, the house is nice and, despite having his favorite cardigan ripped by a lamb—he’s happy.
“You got this,” he mumbles to himself, already lulled to sleep. “You made the right choice.”
He falls asleep like that, in a room that doesn’t quite feel like his own yet, with his heart full of hope and gratefulness, a silly smile on his face, and the sound of horses neighing.
Strangely, this place already feels more like home than his old apartment ever did.
“Fucking hell,” Taehyung hisses, taking his burnt finger to his mouth and sucking on it with his eyebrows furrowed together. He’s practically glaring at the stove, watching as the veggies cook. Maybe they’re already cooked, though, he doesn’t know anymore. After five seconds of wondering what to do, he decides to turn the stove off.
After he woke up from his nap around thirty minutes ago, Taehyung was quick to take a shower and go down to eat something, his stomach basically eating itself, growling, as the brunette had decided to skip lunch in favor of sleeping some more. He knew Jeongguk had told him there was food in the fridge and Taehyung’s initial plan was to eat that, but he hadn’t counted on the food being spicy.
Taehyung absolutely can’t eat spicy food. He despises it. So, seeing there was a rice cooker, he decided to try to cook some bibimbap that probably looks anything but edible. He didn’t count on the egg basically spitting the oil back at him, nor did he count on accidentally dipping a finger in the frying pan either.
This is exactly the reason why Taehyung doesn’t cook. And, to add to his mess, the food will probably taste either too bland or too salty because he didn’t know how much salt to use. He wonders if the rest of his days here are going to be this way, with everything he tries to do going wrong, and he huffs, his bangs fluffing slightly from the breath he lets out.
When he hears the door open, Taehyung doesn’t know whether to feel happy because Jeongguk might actually help him or embarrassed because of the mess he’s made. He turns around with his index still in his mouth and his eyes widen at the sight that is in front of him. Jeongguk looks as good as he did this afternoon, with his face a bit dirtier but beautiful nonetheless. The thing that catches his attention, though, is not Jeongguk but the small dog by his feet.
“Oh my god,” Taehyung practically squeals, feeling his heart beating a bit faster on his chest. “Oh my god!”
Jeongguk startles, alarmed, his eyes wide with worry as he looks at the brunette, who is already approaching them. “What?! What is it?”
Taehyung squats down and coos when the dog basically jumps onto his lap, his hands quickly going to scratch behind the animal’s ears. “Is it yours? Oh my god, Jeongguk-ah, I love dogs an abnormal amount.”
A relieved breath leaves Jeongguk’s lips and he chuckles, squatting down in front of Taehyung and patting the dog’s head. “Yeah, he’s mine. His name is Yeontan. He seems to like you a lot, too.”
Unable to control his smile, Taehyung happily pets and coos at the small dog, being instantly reminded of his old dog, Soonshim. Ever since he was a child, Taehyung has loved animals. From dogs to literal bugs, he remembers going out of his way to help them. He used to get teased about it at school, too, but he never paid it any mind.
He always wanted to have a dog of his own when he lived alone, but after landing his job and working so much, he realized he didn’t have the time to take care of one and let the idea go, albeit a bit sadly. Because, while before he couldn’t afford to maintain a dog but had all the time in the world for it, now that he could afford to maintain it, he lacked the time needed.
So, yes; he’s really happy that Jeongguk has a dog.
“So cute,” the brunette mumbles, cupping Yeontan’s face and pressing a kiss to his snout. “I love him already. I’m sorry, he’s my dog now.”
Jeongguk snorts, shaking his head a little and standing up straight again, stretching his arms behind his back. “All yours. I’m gonna—wait, were you cooking?”
Taehyung stills, frozen in place, and licks his lips as he too stands up, his cheeks warm with embarrassment. “Uh, you see…” He bites his lip, looking down at his feet, and takes a big breath. Then, rushed, he delivers his words. “So, I might’ve actually decided to try to make some bibimbap because I absolutely can not eat spicy food, like, I get genuinely sick if I do—but I’m also a terrible cook, and I have probably fucked up the whole plate and wasted your food. Sorry.”
Silence. Taehyung still doesn’t dare to look up; wiggles his bare toes instead and watches Yeontan give him a pointed look, as if he’s laughing at him. And then actual laughter comes, and the brunette’s head practically snaps up to look at Jeongguk, who is covering his mouth with the back of his hand as if trying to muffle his obnoxiously loud giggles. Taehyung is, honestly, dumbfounded.
“Why—Why are you laughing?”
“Sorry, I just—” Jeongguk takes a deep breath and licks his lips, the corner of them still stretched in a wide grin as he tries to hold back his laughter. “You rambled and it was cute, but I really don’t think this is something you have to apologize for, hyung.”
“But the food—”
“It’s fine. Just give me five minutes to shower and I’ll see if we can save it, okay? And if we can’t then that’s okay, too. Everyone makes mistakes when cooking.”
Taehyung pouts but nods, getting a soft smile in return, and watches as Jeongguk heads upstairs. He strolls toward the couch and sits down, Yeontan following closely behind him. He lets the dog on his lap, running his hands through his soft fur as he looks at the turned-off TV. There’s a clock on the wall, right on top of it, and the sound of each second passing echoes in the room.
Now, if the brunette thinks about it, he’s both excited and scared of starting to help tomorrow on the farm. First of all, he will have to meet Jeongguk’s grandparents, and what if they don’t like him? Then, there’s the fact that he’s probably going to be terrible at whatever it is he gets asked to do, taking into account that he’s never been on a farm before, and he would appreciate it if he could just—not embarrass himself anymore.
Jeongguk doesn’t take long to shower, and soon enough he’s walking down the stairs in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, both grey, his hair still damp. Taehyung’s breath hitches at the sight but he pretends to cough to cover it, quickly focusing his attention on Yeontan again as he hears Jeongguk walk toward the kitchen.
“Oh, you tried to make bibimbap?” he asks, and his voice is a bit shyer than it was before; softer, too. Taehyung puts Yeontan down and walks to where Jeongguk is, humming. “It doesn’t look too bad.”
Taehyung bites the inside of his cheek, his eyes scanning the—now cold —food. The rice is probably the only acceptable-looking thing, the yolk of the egg split and cooked through and the veggies looking dry as hell. “It totally does.”
“Okay, maybe it does, but there is a solution!” Jeongguk insists. “The vegetables aren’t cooked enough so we can do that now, and we can simply fry another egg. You didn’t cook the meat yet, right?”
“Luckily, I decided to use my brain cells and didn’t. I would’ve totally fucked that one up, as well.”
Jeongguk giggles and nods, starting to move around the kitchen as the brunette just—sits down on a stool and stares. Tries to wrap his mind around the fact that he has known this man for less than a day, yet he somehow feels really comfortable around him. The younger boy does get a little bit shy sometimes, he has noticed, but even when that happens, he’s really nice and easy to talk to.
Even though they haven’t spoken all that much, either.
“You cook so well,” Taehyung decides to comment after a few minutes. And it’s true, Jeongguk moves swiftly around the kitchen, cooking both the meat and the vegetables at the same time, then the egg. It’s quick and it looks easy, but the brunette is sure he would’ve already fucked up if he tried to do that. “How did you learn? I’ve been living alone for years, yet I still fear I might set something on fire by accident every single time I go near the stove.”
The younger boy shrugs, his cheeks and ears flushing red. It’s endearing, the way Jeongguk gets shy every so often. It’s cute. “I don’t know, I just… I like cooking, so I watched tons of videos on how to cook different dishes. It kinda came with practice after that.” Taehyung hums and Jeongguk takes a bowl from one of the cabinets before scooping some rice from the rice cooker. He fills the bowl with it and starts to put the vegetables and the meat on top of it after tasting a piece, finishing with the egg. “Okay, here. It’s ready.”
Now it’s Taehyung’s turn to blush. He nods, mumbling a soft, “Thank you,” and wiggles, sitting more comfortably on the stool. They’re eating on the kitchen island, which doesn’t surprise Taehyung much since he did the same back at his apartment.
Once Jeongguk has heated his spicy food, he sits down in front of Taehyung and the silence that settles then is a bit awkward and uncomfortable, probably because neither one is used to having dinner with someone else. The brunette tries to think of a topic to talk about, thinks back to all the times he’s had to come up with different topics at business meetings—but it doesn’t work. Instead, Taehyung embarrasses himself.
Again.
With a nervous voice, he dares to ask, “So, uh, do you have any pets?”
Yeontan, who is lying down on the floor not too far from them, is judging Taehyung now. And, then, when the brunette’s gaze moves from the dog to Jeongguk’s, the two of them stare at each other and then break into a fit of laughter. It’s still a bit awkward but it definitely isn’t as bad as it was before and, after they’ve both calmed down, Taehyung comes up with something actually good to ask.
“So, let’s ignore what just happened,” he says, a giggle escaping his lips before he stuffs his mouth with food. After swallowing it, he speaks again, “As I told you before, I do want to help with the farm stuff. I don’t want to be paid for it or anything, though; it will be my way of paying you back for letting me stay here. And my way of not dying of boredom, either.”
Jeongguk nods. “It’s true that we could use some help, not gonna lie.”
“That’s good!” Taehyung exclaims happily as he breaks into a boxy grin. “I really wanna experience all of the farm life, too,” he says, which makes Jeongguk chuckle softly. Taehyung pouts. “Don’t laugh, I’m serious! You’re probably going to have to teach me a lot, though.”
“That’s fine by me.” Jeongguk shrugs, humming in content around a mouthful of spicy noodles. “I always have to teach the new workers, so it won’t be any different with you. I don’t mind it.”
“Good. Now onto the important part. What time do I have to wake up?”
Looking right into his eyes, Jeongguk replies, “Six in the morning.”
Oh.
“Oh.”
“I know, I know. It’s not too bad. You grow used to it after a while, though,” Jeongguk tries to reassure him, albeit his voice is shyer than it was before. His expression, too, since he’s not meeting Taehyung’s eye anymore.
“No, I don’t have a problem with it. Actually, I used to wake up just half an hour later for work anyway,” he explains. “I just hoped that maybe I could sleep a bit more, but it’s fine, really. It’s not like I need to, you know?”
Jeongguk still looks a bit guilty, so Taehyung adds, “It’s okay, I promise. Unlike going to work in Seoul, I actually am excited to do this, so it’s not as bad as you think, really.”
“Okay,” the younger says. “I’ll make sure to give you some appropriate clothes tomorrow since I doubt you have any, if that’s okay?”
“Yeah, sure,” Taehyung replies with a smile that Jeongguk returns. The rest of the dinner goes by smoothly, the brunette deciding to ask about Yeontan and Jeongguk visibly relaxing some more, telling him some of the craziest stories he’s ever heard—like a time Yeontan hid in a barn between the bales of hay and no one could find him.
After saying their goodnights, Taehyung lies down on his bed and goes over the day in his head. He’s not that surprised when he realizes the drastic change in his personality in just a few hours; he has always been like this, talkative and pretty chaotic.
However, back in Seoul, it felt as if that Taehyung had disappeared; as if his new work persona, the one he had to pretend to be, had erased it. There were times when his old self came out, like the day before with Jimin, when the two of them bickered and played around on their way to Taehyung’s parents’ apartment. But it wasn’t often that something like that happened, for the brunette was always either too tired or too busy with work.
It makes sense, if he thinks about it, that the second he stepped away from Seoul and freed himself from that person he so terribly despised—that dull, robotic Taehyung—his real personality would resurface. Because no matter how much you try to be someone you’re not, no matter how much you try to erase your real self, you will never be able to completely get rid of it; of your roots, of the person you are to your very core.
And Taehyung, well—he really doesn’t want to do that anymore. He wants to be himself, to finally live for himself. He thinks, he truly believes that here, on a farm situated in the countryside near Busan and living with a person he barely knows—
A horse’s whinny disturbs the silence of the night, startling Taehyung, who was already falling asleep. However, instead of finding it annoying, he laughs. He laughs and stands up, walking over to the window and looking at the expansive wide farm in front of his eyes. Again, he thinks it’s beautiful.
—Taehyung thinks he can do that.